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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/03/18
...
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Aromatic misunderstood temple
  12/03/18
ty!
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
pearl shivering lodge idiot
  12/03/18
...
Tantric state
  12/24/21
...
Haunting purple ape old irish cottage
  12/03/18
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Flesh heaven sweet tailpipe
  12/03/18
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Laughsome menage
  12/03/18
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Sick Idiotic Trailer Park
  12/03/18
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pearl shivering lodge idiot
  12/03/18
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Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/07/18
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chartreuse theater stage stock car
  12/07/18
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Light hideous hairy legs
  12/07/18
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aphrodisiac haunted graveyard famous landscape painting
  12/07/18
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embarrassed to the bone stead people who are hurt
  12/07/18
...
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/14/18
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Vengeful kitty
  12/14/18
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Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/24/18
...
Haunting purple ape old irish cottage
  12/24/18
...
scarlet kitchen jewess
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Crystalline principal's office
  12/24/18
120
Insane karate
  12/24/18
...
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/24/18
...
Insane karate
  12/24/18
...
garnet at-the-ready puppy
  12/24/18
...
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/24/18
...
Chestnut sandwich field
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Aquamarine Know-it-all Hunting Ground Senate
  12/24/18
...
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/16/21
...
translucent supple spot
  12/24/18
...
irradiated drab goyim
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
stimulating lay pistol
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Glittery hateful patrolman
  07/01/19
...
Haunting purple ape old irish cottage
  07/01/19
...
Haunting purple ape old irish cottage
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/10/19
getting close...
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/24/19
...
shimmering seedy depressive
  12/24/19
...
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/24/19
...
Twinkling Area
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Boyish milk
  12/24/19
...
diverse anal sanctuary
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Aquamarine Know-it-all Hunting Ground Senate
  12/24/19
lol
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/24/19
This
Tantric state
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Blue stirring multi-billionaire box office
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/24/19
...
Talented Nubile Blood Rage
  12/24/19
...
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Tantric state
  12/24/19
...
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/24/19
...
pearly trump supporter
  12/24/19
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Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/15/20
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Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/23/20
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impertinent titillating business firm
  12/24/20
It's time.
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/24/20
...
Light hideous hairy legs
  12/24/20
...
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/16/21
...
garnet at-the-ready puppy
  12/16/21
...
impertinent titillating business firm
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/20/21
Lmao
Amethyst Mediation
  12/20/21
...
Glittery hateful patrolman
  12/22/21
...
Amethyst Mediation
  12/22/21
...
useless snowy sneaky criminal
  12/24/21
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Tantric state
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
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nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Aromatic misunderstood temple

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: pearl shivering lodge idiot

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Tantric state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Haunting purple ape old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Flesh heaven sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Laughsome menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Sick Idiotic Trailer Park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: pearl shivering lodge idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: chartreuse theater stage stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Light hideous hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: aphrodisiac haunted graveyard famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: embarrassed to the bone stead people who are hurt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Vengeful kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Haunting purple ape old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: scarlet kitchen jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Crystalline principal's office

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Insane karate

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Insane karate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: garnet at-the-ready puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Chestnut sandwich field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Aquamarine Know-it-all Hunting Ground Senate

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: translucent supple spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: irradiated drab goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: stimulating lay pistol

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Haunting purple ape old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Haunting purple ape old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: shimmering seedy depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Twinkling Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Boyish milk

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: diverse anal sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Aquamarine Know-it-all Hunting Ground Senate

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Tantric state

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Blue stirring multi-billionaire box office

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Talented Nubile Blood Rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Tantric state

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: pearly trump supporter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: impertinent titillating business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Light hideous hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: garnet at-the-ready puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: impertinent titillating business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Amethyst Mediation

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Glittery hateful patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Amethyst Mediation



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: useless snowy sneaky criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Tantric state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#49538935)