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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/03/18
...
Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Misanthropic onyx jewess
  12/03/18
ty!
Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
lavender motley stead
  12/03/18
...
Submissive church building
  12/24/21
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  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
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120
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smoky mad cow disease
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...
Gold contagious dopamine
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
180 Roommate Pozpig
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Hairraiser ungodly potus
  07/01/19
...
Carnelian dog poop masturbator
  07/01/19
...
Carnelian dog poop masturbator
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/10/19
getting close...
Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/24/19
...
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Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/24/19
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  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
insecure impertinent shrine
  12/24/19
...
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  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
french wine milk library
  12/24/19
lol
Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/24/19
This
Submissive church building
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
mind-boggling henna toaster
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/24/19
...
Mint medicated locus
  12/24/19
...
Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Submissive church building
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Hairraiser ungodly potus
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Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/24/20
...
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  12/24/20
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Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/16/21
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Hateful electric hominid windowlicker
  12/16/21
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  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/20/21
Lmao
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  12/20/21
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Hairraiser ungodly potus
  12/22/21
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Boyish Bawdyhouse Goal In Life
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  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Misanthropic onyx jewess

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: lavender motley stead

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Submissive church building



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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Carnelian dog poop masturbator



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Sepia International Law Enforcement Agency Queen Of The Night



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: bespoke racy lay



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Unhinged spruce spot cumskin



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: lavender motley stead



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: misunderstood nofapping jap crackhouse



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Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Soggy tank



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Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: cracking place of business headpube



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Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: floppy persian



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus



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Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Carnelian dog poop masturbator



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Fishy razzmatazz base weed whacker



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: turquoise bisexual chapel legal warrant

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Sienna Toilet Seat

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Sienna Toilet Seat



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Hateful electric hominid windowlicker



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Flushed irradiated native



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: french wine milk library

Artistic gold tyvmft

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Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: smoky mad cow disease



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Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Gold contagious dopamine



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: 180 Roommate Pozpig

this was pretty good, nice work

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Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus

~*Christmas in July bump*~

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Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Carnelian dog poop masturbator



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Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Carnelian dog poop masturbator



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: deep impressive parlor trump supporter



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: bossy public bath crotch



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: insecure impertinent shrine

This deserves more bumps.

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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: rambunctious bistre keepsake machete casino



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: french wine milk library

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Submissive church building

This

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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: mind-boggling henna toaster

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus

ty, labor of love

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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Mint medicated locus



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Submissive church building

pure gold 180

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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: deranged party of the first part pocket flask



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: very tactful charismatic karate personal credit line



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus

It's time.

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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Soggy tank



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Hateful electric hominid windowlicker



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: very tactful charismatic karate personal credit line



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: dead range trust fund

Lmao

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Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Hairraiser ungodly potus



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: dead range trust fund



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Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Boyish Bawdyhouse Goal In Life



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Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Submissive church building



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Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



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Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



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