So COVID just *poof* disappeared?
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Date: May 30th, 2025 12:58 PM Author: Ocher Liquid Oxygen Subject: NYT Opinion | Evan39
NYT Opinion | Evan39
“I Tested Positive for Memory”
SeaTTTle, WA —
The last time I saw my manager’s face was March 2020.
The next time I saw her, she was a CDC-branded Memoji on a Microsoft Teams call whispering, “We’re all in this together, Evan.”
Then she muted me.
Permanently.
I spent 17 months in a Kroger parking lot distributing cloth masks sewn from rejected NASCAR merch.
They called me “Safety Captain.”
I wore a sash.
Every morning I asked, “Is it over?”
Every evening they said, “Just two more weeks, friend.”
And now?
Candy Ride tp asks “Isn’t that weird?”
Like the Great Ritual of Sanitized Banana Disinfection just... poofed into the mist? Jfc.
Kalisha caught me burning my old vaccine card in the breakroom toaster.
She said it was “a hate crime against data.”
Tabitha wrote me up under the Office of Pandemic Heritage Preservation.
I tried to protest.
I said the PCR tests were gone.
She said they live inside us now.
Then she made me scan into the freezer aisle using Retrospective Contact Tracing™ and drink my booster in syrup form—cherry flavored, warm.
The truth is:
COVID didn’t end.
It rebranded.
It’s now a quarterly DEI module with hybrid attendance options.
The Mahchine™ doesn’t forget.
It just stops issuing push notifications.
And me? I still carry the immunity.
But not the forgiveness.
This is fine.
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/30/opinion/evan39-pandemic-memory.html
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5731350&forum_id=2],#48973796)
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Date: May 30th, 2025 12:41 PM Author: Sapphire Infuriating Chapel Selfie
Grok says these are the number of documented cases in the US:
2020 - 20 million
2021 - 35 million
2022 - 25 million
2023 - 15 million
2024 - 5 million
2025 - 4 million (to date)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5731350&forum_id=2],#48973732) |
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Date: May 30th, 2025 1:21 PM Author: Fluffy soul-stirring temple
bro they TRIED to make me do that and i straight up said NO
i saw the people around me wake up right then
you could see them all say this is fucking bs
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5731350&forum_id=2],#48973855) |
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Date: May 30th, 2025 1:04 PM Author: passionate abnormal station french chef
immense intra-family and societal friction
widening the gap between red state/normal people and blue state/redditor/thience weirdos
“vaccine” fanaticism
-----------------
these things cannot be overstated. nobody will ever be held accountable and nobody is interested in Truth.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5731350&forum_id=2],#48973814) |
Date: May 30th, 2025 1:33 PM Author: federal affirmative action
Covid deaths completely supplanted and replaced flu deaths, hehe. But the lack of flu deaths was because we were all isolated. The covid deaths happening instead, on the other hand, were because we were not isolated.
And now the flu deaths are back, the covid deaths are gone.
Sort of like the Indiana Jones scene, switching out the golden skull for the bag of sand. Switch --- Switch. Youd hardly notice, but they are the same weight
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5731350&forum_id=2],#48973885) |
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