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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/03/18
...
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
azure mentally impaired church building
  12/03/18
ty!
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
stirring gas station double fault
  12/03/18
...
Chestnut internet-worthy center
  12/24/21
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Dun Deer Antler Ape
  12/03/18
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Blue racy tank
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Cream stead
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vigorous aggressive stage sneaky criminal
  12/03/18
...
stirring gas station double fault
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  12/07/18
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ruddy unholy useless brakes
  12/07/18
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Green Patrolman Trailer Park
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maroon arrogant forum
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Contagious aqua space private investor
  12/07/18
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multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/14/18
...
Slate 180 regret half-breed
  12/14/18
...
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/24/18
...
Dun Deer Antler Ape
  12/24/18
...
dashing disturbing doctorate orchestra pit
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
awkward stage
  12/24/18
120
Spruce glittery bawdyhouse legend
  12/24/18
...
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/24/18
...
Spruce glittery bawdyhouse legend
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slimy site
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multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/24/18
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avocado bat-shit-crazy state
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Artistic gold tyvmft
impressive school
  12/24/18
...
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/16/21
...
bateful hilarious weed whacker kitty cat
  12/24/18
...
domesticated meetinghouse
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
ivory property
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  07/01/19
...
Dun Deer Antler Ape
  07/01/19
...
Dun Deer Antler Ape
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/10/19
getting close...
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/24/19
...
Elite Trust Fund Sanctuary
  12/24/19
...
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/24/19
...
Sickened house-broken corner
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Talented fortuitous meteor
  12/24/19
...
red ticket booth
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
impressive school
  12/24/19
lol
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/24/19
This
Chestnut internet-worthy center
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
white casino antidepressant drug
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/24/19
...
impertinent garrison
  12/24/19
...
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Chestnut internet-worthy center
  12/24/19
...
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/24/19
...
marvelous flickering codepig
  12/24/19
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multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/15/20
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multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/23/20
...
razzle-dazzle hall people who are hurt
  12/24/20
It's time.
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/24/20
...
Green Patrolman Trailer Park
  12/24/20
...
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/16/21
...
slimy site
  12/16/21
...
razzle-dazzle hall people who are hurt
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/20/21
Lmao
hot institution striped hyena
  12/20/21
...
multi-colored light den idea he suggested
  12/22/21
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hot institution striped hyena
  12/22/21
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curious stock car point
  12/24/21
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Chestnut internet-worthy center
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: azure mentally impaired church building

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: stirring gas station double fault

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Chestnut internet-worthy center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Dun Deer Antler Ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Blue racy tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Cream stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: vigorous aggressive stage sneaky criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: stirring gas station double fault



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: ruddy unholy useless brakes



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Green Patrolman Trailer Park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: maroon arrogant forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Contagious aqua space private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Slate 180 regret half-breed



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Dun Deer Antler Ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: dashing disturbing doctorate orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: awkward stage

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Spruce glittery bawdyhouse legend

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Spruce glittery bawdyhouse legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: slimy site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: avocado bat-shit-crazy state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: impressive school

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: bateful hilarious weed whacker kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: domesticated meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: ivory property

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Dun Deer Antler Ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Dun Deer Antler Ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Elite Trust Fund Sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Sickened house-broken corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Talented fortuitous meteor

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: red ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: impressive school

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Chestnut internet-worthy center

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: white casino antidepressant drug

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: impertinent garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Chestnut internet-worthy center

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: marvelous flickering codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle hall people who are hurt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Green Patrolman Trailer Park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: slimy site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle hall people who are hurt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: hot institution striped hyena

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: multi-colored light den idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: hot institution striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: curious stock car point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Chestnut internet-worthy center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#49538935)