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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/03/18
...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Blue nowag knife
  12/03/18
ty!
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Exciting misunderstood pocket flask business firm
  12/03/18
...
deep walnut home
  12/24/21
...
Diverse crusty university
  12/03/18
...
racy trump supporter market
  12/03/18
...
insane friendly grandma casino
  12/03/18
...
Cerebral resort
  12/03/18
...
Exciting misunderstood pocket flask business firm
  12/03/18
...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/07/18
...
bull headed multi-colored really tough guy box office
  12/07/18
...
translucent passionate codepig space
  12/07/18
...
Nofapping ticket booth
  12/07/18
...
Cobalt heaven doctorate
  12/07/18
...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/14/18
...
swashbuckling prole death wish
  12/14/18
...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/24/18
...
Diverse crusty university
  12/24/18
...
garnet shrine turdskin
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
sticky weed whacker school
  12/24/18
120
Contagious Becky
  12/24/18
...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/24/18
...
Contagious Becky
  12/24/18
...
Crimson drunken chapel
  12/24/18
...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/24/18
...
henna stimulating international law enforcement agency locus
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Vermilion candlestick maker
  12/24/18
...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/16/21
...
comical blathering filthpig hall
  12/24/18
...
Cruel-hearted House Black Woman
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Dark histrionic abode shitlib
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  07/01/19
...
Diverse crusty university
  07/01/19
...
Diverse crusty university
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/10/19
getting close...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/24/19
...
Amber range fanboi
  12/24/19
...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/24/19
...
fantasy-prone preventive strike bawdyhouse
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
medicated institution wagecucks
  12/24/19
...
silver round eye
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Vermilion candlestick maker
  12/24/19
lol
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/24/19
This
deep walnut home
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Rose fragrant factory reset button elastic band
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/24/19
...
pea-brained state
  12/24/19
...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
deep walnut home
  12/24/19
...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/24/19
...
Odious rigor
  12/24/19
...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/15/20
...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/23/20
...
Territorial brunch
  12/24/20
It's time.
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/24/20
...
translucent passionate codepig space
  12/24/20
...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/16/21
...
Crimson drunken chapel
  12/16/21
...
Territorial brunch
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/20/21
Lmao
Rambunctious Judgmental Travel Guidebook Site
  12/20/21
...
French Insecure Internal Respiration
  12/22/21
...
Rambunctious Judgmental Travel Guidebook Site
  12/22/21
...
chrome floppy meetinghouse double fault
  12/24/21
...
deep walnut home
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Blue nowag knife

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Exciting misunderstood pocket flask business firm

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: deep walnut home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Diverse crusty university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: racy trump supporter market



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: insane friendly grandma casino



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Cerebral resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Exciting misunderstood pocket flask business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: bull headed multi-colored really tough guy box office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: translucent passionate codepig space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Nofapping ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Cobalt heaven doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: swashbuckling prole death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Diverse crusty university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: garnet shrine turdskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: sticky weed whacker school

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Contagious Becky

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Contagious Becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Crimson drunken chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: henna stimulating international law enforcement agency locus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Vermilion candlestick maker

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: comical blathering filthpig hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Cruel-hearted House Black Woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Dark histrionic abode shitlib

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Diverse crusty university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Diverse crusty university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Amber range fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: fantasy-prone preventive strike bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: medicated institution wagecucks

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: silver round eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Vermilion candlestick maker

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: deep walnut home

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Rose fragrant factory reset button elastic band

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: pea-brained state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: deep walnut home

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Odious rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Territorial brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: translucent passionate codepig space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Crimson drunken chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Territorial brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Rambunctious Judgmental Travel Guidebook Site

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: French Insecure Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Rambunctious Judgmental Travel Guidebook Site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: chrome floppy meetinghouse double fault



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: deep walnut home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2]#49538935)