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Johnsmeyer calling Suze Orman w/ "Scream" voice distorter
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| hairraiser market hunting ground | 06/13/14 |
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| Diverse Shaky Theater Really Tough Guy | 06/13/14 |
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| spectacular mentally impaired trailer park friendly grandma | 11/18/15 |
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| Exhilarant Ape | 05/13/18 |
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| supple scourge upon the earth | 06/25/19 |
| Amber laughsome lodge | 12/25/19 |
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| spectacular mentally impaired trailer park friendly grandma | 07/24/16 |
| heady know-it-all son of senegal | 04/09/21 |
| Cerebral Magenta Therapy Native | 08/06/15 |
| Concupiscible Goyim | 07/13/19 |
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| heady know-it-all son of senegal | 08/15/15 |
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| buck-toothed point idea he suggested | 12/17/15 |
| Bearded Brass Background Story Yarmulke | 12/17/15 |
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| Vigorous Mint Immigrant Theater Stage | 03/14/16 |
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| spectacular mentally impaired trailer park friendly grandma | 05/31/16 |
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| bat-shit-crazy faggotry brethren | 11/29/16 |
| Fishy wagecucks | 02/16/17 |
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| Amber laughsome lodge | 06/02/17 |
| Sapphire cruel-hearted hissy fit mother | 06/02/17 |
| buck-toothed point idea he suggested | 08/30/17 |
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| deep bearded location | 04/30/18 |
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| Concupiscible Goyim | 02/09/25 |
| razzle-dazzle lemon legend | 03/27/25 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:36 PM Author: translucent aromatic idiot regret (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25733527) |
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: hairraiser market hunting ground You should've been a comedy writer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25733532) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: sienna senate skinny woman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25733535) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:39 PM Author: Amber laughsome lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25733537) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: hairraiser market hunting ground Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are."
*very long pause*
Robot/monster voice: " five nine" |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: Amber laughsome lodge LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25733551) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:41 PM Author: translucent aromatic idiot regret laughing & convlusing & foamign at mouth at work lmfao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25733555) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 3:56 PM Author: Indigo nursing home french chef (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#27619755) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:59 PM Author: Odious frozen candlestick maker gas station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25733697) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 12:11 AM Author: garnet confused property sound barrier (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25733775) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:22 PM Author: hairraiser market hunting ground (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25738401) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: Costumed chapel stock car (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25738402) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: Mildly autistic garrison useless brakes (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25738403) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:36 PM Author: Cerebral Magenta Therapy Native holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25738512) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:38 PM Author: at-the-ready dark jewess hell Holy shit screaming/vomiting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25738527) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 8:23 PM Author: hairraiser market hunting ground JFC (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25739208) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:10 PM Author: Odious frozen candlestick maker gas station i really dont know why but this cracks me the eff up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25743978) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:22 PM Author: Amber laughsome lodge Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-sequitur of a question that hits at the linchpin of Johnsmeyer's tragic character: his height. Who knows why that has come up? Maybe PAYE? Maybe estate planning re a farm with gold statues? Maybe what to do with his minor league performance bonus? So we get a brilliant start.
Then we get stuck in the long pause purgatory, but it's a good purgatory. We know what might happen next and on first read, 8 times out of 10 we'll guess correctly. But during the long pause your anticipation wells up. You can envision Johnsmeyer nervously fumbling with the Scream robot voice machine pressed against an old landline phone with a curly cord that's way, way too long in a dark Manhattan basement closet apartment, thinking of whether to answer truthfully and whether the Scream robot voice machine is actually working to cover his identity. It's not that he's weird, he's just shy, a little embarrassed and wants anonymity. It's really absurd, but you give the little guy the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't hang up out of fear while pissing his pants. Besides, chances are he already pissed his pants after the big Suze asked him about his relationship status, which prompted him to look up at an out of focus picture of some girl named Dutchess that's the only thing on his otherwise bare windowless walls.
You see all this in the long pause which is then pierced by the Scream robot voice as it responds "five nine" which is hilarious because it's earnestly delivered in such an bizarre manner. You can hear the voice clearly in your head while envisioning Johnsmeyer in his apartment and Suze and her producers in the studio wondering wtf kind of savant is on the other end of the line. But it's doubly hilarious because we all know Johnsy boy is really five seven, on a good day. |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:25 PM Author: hairraiser market hunting ground TY FOR YOUR SERVICE (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25744029) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:29 PM Author: hairraiser market hunting ground (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25744049) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:30 PM Author: garnet confused property sound barrier Poast of the year (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25744051) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:31 PM Author: Diverse Shaky Theater Really Tough Guy this is scholarship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25744053) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:32 PM Author: Odious frozen candlestick maker gas station Loool 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25744063) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:35 PM Author: lascivious metal telephone church building suze orman keeping steady, unconcerned eye contact into the camera during the pause (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25744079) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:42 PM Author: Light Stag Film Party Of The First Part I read this with the Charlie Kelly voice (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25744101) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:53 PM Author: Cerebral Magenta Therapy Native whoa (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25744164) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:59 PM Author: Costumed chapel stock car (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25744191) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:33 PM Author: Bearded Brass Background Story Yarmulke (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25745855) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 10:55 PM Author: translucent aromatic idiot regret (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25746687) |
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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:47 PM Author: Bearded Brass Background Story Yarmulke (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#27315083) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:04 PM Author: ivory racy organic girlfriend 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#27619800) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM Author: Sapphire cruel-hearted hissy fit mother (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#28487531) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 11:57 PM Author: fragrant cordovan genital piercing macaca (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#28488640) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: buck-toothed point idea he suggested (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#28489891) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: flatulent karate dopamine lol you're like the judge who wrote the Pepsi Points opinion from 1L contracts (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#28489907) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:39 AM Author: chestnut headpube international law enforcement agency How did I miss this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#28489936) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 10:43 AM Author: claret trip half-breed den (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#28490163) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:33 PM Author: heady know-it-all son of senegal (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#28491214) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:34 PM Author: Passionate Church Generalized Bond (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#28491223) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:56 PM Author: house-broken striped hyena there is some true comedic talent on this bort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#28497490) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:59 PM Author: twinkling soul-stirring whorehouse gunner lol damn dude, nice work (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#28497522) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:05 AM Author: heady know-it-all son of senegal the real important part is that this only took 12 minutes to write (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#28924462) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:39 AM Author: Balding Floppy Foreskin Brunch curly phone cord that's way too long really hit home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#28924483) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:44 PM Author: Dead blathering indirect expression (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#29207618) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:48 PM Author: spectacular mentally impaired trailer park friendly grandma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#29207642) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:19 PM Author: Sapphire cruel-hearted hissy fit mother (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#29401582) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:24 PM Author: fragrant cordovan genital piercing macaca (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#29401618) |
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Date: March 14th, 2016 12:56 AM Author: Vigorous Mint Immigrant Theater Stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#30051818) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:10 PM Author: buck-toothed point idea he suggested (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#30594657) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:17 PM Author: bat-shit-crazy faggotry brethren (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#30594696) |
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Date: July 24th, 2016 9:14 AM Author: garnet confused property sound barrier (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#31014517) |
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Date: November 29th, 2016 6:59 PM Author: Violet preventive strike orchestra pit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#32018277) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2017 8:48 AM Author: Ruby Deer Antler (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#33453658) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2017 12:59 PM Author: Up-to-no-good mediation pistol ljl at anyone who says this place hasn't gone downhill with all the politics and crypto spam (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#33463157) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: big grizzly stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#37381941) |
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Date: January 29th, 2018 10:12 PM Author: White set old irish cottage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#35273685) |
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Date: May 13th, 2018 9:50 PM Author: Exhilarant Ape (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#36044055) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: big grizzly stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#37381939) |
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Date: June 25th, 2019 4:51 AM Author: supple scourge upon the earth this poa was clearly made w/ genuine love (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#38436191) |
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Date: December 25th, 2019 5:59 PM Author: Amber laughsome lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#39324796) |
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Date: December 30th, 2019 8:37 PM Author: Bearded Brass Background Story Yarmulke this is the best poast on xo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#39352602) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 5:38 PM Author: zippy aphrodisiac lay boltzmann (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#39529036) |
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Date: June 26th, 2020 5:32 PM Author: jet-lagged flesh newt university (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#40501651) |
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Date: March 27th, 2021 12:19 AM Author: demanding juggernaut (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#42172476) |
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Date: June 15th, 2021 9:43 PM Author: wonderful forum ceo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#42634165) |
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Date: June 21st, 2024 6:27 PM Author: Amber laughsome lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#47767334) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:12 PM Author: canary stage nibblets (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25743993) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 4:12 PM Author: Rusted Base Suze purses her lips, furrows her brow and nods her head sympathetically. She says 'Wellll...' in a manner indicating that she won't be able to provide any helpful advice.
*Audible click from phone, then dial tone*
Suze: "Well it looks like we lost 'Duke' from New York".
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:22 PM Author: hairraiser market hunting ground (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25745763) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:31 PM Author: Bearded Brass Background Story Yarmulke 1 mother fucking 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#25745827) |
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Date: March 28th, 2015 9:08 PM Author: Irradiated dun crotch kitty cat (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#27572935) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: buck-toothed point idea he suggested My coworkers don't know why I'm laughing so hard. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2Ã#28489896) |
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