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very sad (or sick!) to see shitlib women furiously masturbate to Handmaid's Tale

ohhhhh i can't believe how timely this is what a warning to ...
Multi-colored violet masturbator
  04/30/18
lmfao
mustard address
  04/30/18
Its like some William Faulkner level stream of conciousness
startling chrome depressive
  04/30/18
...
Electric Brunch
  06/09/19
...
walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena
  10/13/20
...
Arousing Dragon
  10/28/21
...
exciting fighting son of senegal den
  04/30/18
...
marvelous casino dopamine
  04/30/18
WOKE AS FUK
garnet razzle theater stage
  04/30/18
...
Metal principal's office
  06/24/18
this is scholarship of the highest order. you are now Sir Ri...
Copper flickering new version
  06/24/18
...
Misunderstood lascivious church
  06/24/18
...
unhinged laser beams
  06/24/18
...
hateful whorehouse nibblets
  10/28/21
180 Joyce
idiotic ape
  06/24/18
unadulterated 180
appetizing sandwich home
  06/24/18
...
obsidian disrespectful theater double fault
  06/24/18
...
charismatic really tough guy crackhouse
  06/24/18
"Binders full of women" in latest episode not flam...
Multi-colored violet masturbator
  06/09/19
YUP. It’s like they got bored of Trump references (...
Electric Brunch
  06/09/19
...
Soul-stirring internet-worthy rehab private investor
  06/09/19
this OP is seriously a masterpiece
mustard address
  06/09/19
...
walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena
  06/09/19
...
walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena
  12/01/21
...
DrakeMallardxo
  08/24/25
i'm guessing OP's name IRL is jonah
Big abusive library mad cow disease
  06/09/19
this has aged exceedingly well
appetizing sandwich home
  06/09/19
...
Electric Brunch
  06/09/19
...
walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena
  06/10/19
...
Ungodly vigorous queen of the night
  06/10/19
you're playing to your audience, fine, but this is clearly w...
cheese-eating field
  06/10/19
cr. "cock," "pound." but sometimes u ju...
excitant newt plaza
  06/10/19
pure praise would mean his talent has nowhere else to go her...
cheese-eating field
  06/10/19
...
walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena
  06/10/19
18000
Hairraiser vengeful lay
  06/10/19
megan mcardle i think had a good column on how ridiculous th...
Razzmatazz mahogany market
  06/10/19
John Dolan wrote the GOAT POTUS review... twenty years ago. ...
Scarlet immigrant pistol
  06/10/19
Holy shit, this is great "Handmaid’s Tale is mea...
Dull Round Eye Milk
  06/10/19
also lol @ VCR.
Scarlet immigrant pistol
  06/10/19
This was written in 2000, but it fits in seamlessly with xo ...
Dull Round Eye Milk
  06/10/19
This guy is an XO Ted level visionary
Ungodly vigorous queen of the night
  06/10/19
...
bearded stock car shrine
  06/10/19
...
Ungodly vigorous queen of the night
  06/10/19
lol, whoa
bearded stock car shrine
  06/10/19
holy shit "And in the meantime, what has Atwood&rsqu...
bearded stock car shrine
  06/10/19
...
walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena
  06/10/19
...
Ungodly vigorous queen of the night
  06/10/19
whoa cr
Irradiated flushed stage tattoo
  06/10/19
...
Learning disabled set legal warrant
  06/10/19
this is an amazing article
excitant newt plaza
  01/23/20
!!!
hateful whorehouse nibblets
  10/28/21
"wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat" ...
Pearly underhanded lodge
  06/10/19
...
Learning disabled set legal warrant
  06/10/19
“No one wants to force middle-class American women to ...
Ungodly vigorous queen of the night
  06/10/19
The eXile was an early dose of REDPILL for me even though th...
Scarlet immigrant pistol
  06/10/19
...
bearded stock car shrine
  06/10/19
whoah
excitant newt plaza
  06/10/19
...
grizzly state
  06/10/19
holy shit
Irradiated flushed stage tattoo
  06/10/19
holy fuck
mustard address
  06/10/19
Cot damn
walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena
  06/10/19
...
heady sexy dysfunction
  05/09/21
!!!
hateful whorehouse nibblets
  10/28/21
this is scholarship
chestnut aphrodisiac public bath mexican
  10/24/24
fatality
titillating indigo associate
  06/10/19
...
Soul-stirring internet-worthy rehab private investor
  06/10/19
Does this guy have any thoughts on MAGA?
Electric Brunch
  06/15/19
...
Galvanic Insane Resort
  10/28/21
...
hateful whorehouse nibblets
  10/28/21
this is so damn good I'm copy pasting the whole thing: THE ...
Galvanic Insane Resort
  10/28/21
Lmao is this really the story of the show?
spectacular trailer park macaca
  06/10/19
...
idiotic ape
  06/10/19
...
Bearded Cuckoldry Blood Rage
  06/10/19
...
Drunken Becky Meetinghouse
  06/10/19
...
walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena
  01/23/20
...
Soul-stirring internet-worthy rehab private investor
  01/23/20
...
olive boltzmann coldplay fan
  01/23/20
...
walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena
  12/01/21
...
Irradiated flushed stage tattoo
  12/01/21
...
Chartreuse impertinent affirmative action locus
  12/01/21
This and the "inside a lady's head" one are like b...
Rusted Fat Ankles
  07/01/22
...
Rusted Fat Ankles
  10/01/23
...
Rusted Fat Ankles
  02/20/24
...
Rusted Fat Ankles
  10/24/24


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:23 AM
Author: Multi-colored violet masturbator

ohhhhh i can't believe how timely this is what a warning to women trying to survive in trump's america so many parallels to modern america i'd never let something like that happen jonah and i already have plans to run away to canada i'd get right in those soldiers faces and tell them they can't oppress my body of course they would try to force me to be a handmaid a very powerful commander would claim me and his wife would not be as hot as me but i'd struggle i'd struggle oh yes even though they would overpower me and he'd ravage me with his big commander cock he'd pound me and pound me and there'd be nothing i could do oh no oh no but i'd scratch and claw except his wife would hold me down that bitch she'd resent me for making him cum in my womb and give him beautiful children he'd sneak me goodies and treats and show me off at jezebels that sick patriarchal bastard but jonah wouldn't be able to find me i'd have to move on and be strong and live for me and my children and eventually i'd seduce the commander so good that he helps me become his real wife and we'd have the power then so i could help people fuck trump for trying to put this in practice pretty much an owners manual for him and pence those fuckers they'll never get to fuck me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#35949672)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:28 AM
Author: mustard address

lmfao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#35949690)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:30 AM
Author: startling chrome depressive

Its like some William Faulkner level stream of conciousness

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#35949706)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 11:28 PM
Author: Electric Brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38365108)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 13th, 2020 12:49 PM
Author: walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#41103220)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 5:28 AM
Author: Arousing Dragon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#43342786)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:31 AM
Author: exciting fighting son of senegal den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#35949712)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:33 AM
Author: marvelous casino dopamine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#35949736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: garnet razzle theater stage

WOKE AS FUK

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#35949749)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:47 PM
Author: Metal principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#36303022)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:48 PM
Author: Copper flickering new version

this is scholarship of the highest order. you are now Sir Risten.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#36303030)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:50 PM
Author: Misunderstood lascivious church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#36303036)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:56 PM
Author: unhinged laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#36303065)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:18 AM
Author: hateful whorehouse nibblets



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#43342024)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:53 PM
Author: idiotic ape

180 Joyce

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#36303053)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:57 PM
Author: appetizing sandwich home

unadulterated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#36303071)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:58 PM
Author: obsidian disrespectful theater double fault



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#36303081)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 8:05 PM
Author: charismatic really tough guy crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#36303131)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:31 PM
Author: Multi-colored violet masturbator

"Binders full of women" in latest episode not flame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38364783)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 11:29 PM
Author: Electric Brunch

YUP.

It’s like they got bored of Trump references (did you also catch the lesbian refugee demanding not to be separated from the unrelated infant she was carrying?) and so decided to throw in a Romney dig for old time’s sake.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38365120)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:32 PM
Author: Soul-stirring internet-worthy rehab private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38364791)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:36 PM
Author: mustard address

this OP is seriously a masterpiece

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38364811)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:40 PM
Author: walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38364852)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 1st, 2021 2:31 PM
Author: walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#43540325)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 24th, 2025 11:59 AM
Author: DrakeMallardxo (🦆)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#49208954)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:39 PM
Author: Big abusive library mad cow disease

i'm guessing OP's name IRL is jonah

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38364835)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:52 PM
Author: appetizing sandwich home

this has aged exceedingly well

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38364924)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 11:30 PM
Author: Electric Brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38365122)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 12:01 PM
Author: walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38366924)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:40 PM
Author: Ungodly vigorous queen of the night



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368355)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 12:05 PM
Author: cheese-eating field

you're playing to your audience, fine, but this is clearly written by a man

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38366957)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:33 PM
Author: excitant newt plaza

cr. "cock," "pound." but sometimes u just let it slide you know?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368292)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:34 PM
Author: cheese-eating field

pure praise would mean his talent has nowhere else to go here

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368687)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:16 PM
Author: walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368206)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:28 PM
Author: Hairraiser vengeful lay

18000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368272)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:29 PM
Author: Razzmatazz mahogany market

megan mcardle i think had a good column on how ridiculous the handmaid's tale is happening! meme is

https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2017-04-25/no-the-handmaid-s-tale-is-not-unexpectedly-timely

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368275)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:33 PM
Author: Scarlet immigrant pistol

John Dolan wrote the GOAT POTUS review... twenty years ago.

http://exiledonline.com/old-exile/vault/books/review103.html

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368294)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:37 PM
Author: Dull Round Eye Milk

Holy shit, this is great

"Handmaid’s Tale is meant to reassure every wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat, a VCR, and Pizza-for-one that her life is noble and progressive."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368320)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:38 PM
Author: Scarlet immigrant pistol

also lol @ VCR.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368327)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:42 PM
Author: Dull Round Eye Milk

This was written in 2000, but it fits in seamlessly with xo themes on GC and shrewdom. A true visionary.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368374)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: Ungodly vigorous queen of the night

This guy is an XO Ted level visionary

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368393)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:48 PM
Author: bearded stock car shrine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368400)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:41 PM
Author: Ungodly vigorous queen of the night



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368361)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:42 PM
Author: bearded stock car shrine

lol, whoa

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368367)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:44 PM
Author: bearded stock car shrine

holy shit

"And in the meantime, what has Atwood’s Utopia done, in real political terms? It has managed to distract a whole generation of Americanized women from the real fear and awful loneliness of their office lives. In this way, Atwood’s Canada of the Spirit is, like its real-world counterpart, the good-cop tool, the quaking valet of its Vampire master, America. Atwood’s Canada offers no answer to the Americanized women whose only family is Allie MacBeal and her friends. After all, they’re not rednecks, they’re not Fundamentalists. In fact, the horrible lives of every woman who tries to live out Allie MacBeal is rendered noble by reading Handmaid’s Tale. "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368382)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:45 PM
Author: walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368388)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:46 PM
Author: Ungodly vigorous queen of the night



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368391)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:11 PM
Author: Irradiated flushed stage tattoo

whoa cr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368548)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 5:01 PM
Author: Learning disabled set legal warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368821)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:16 AM
Author: excitant newt plaza

this is an amazing article

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#39475589)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:14 AM
Author: hateful whorehouse nibblets

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#43341991)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: Pearly underhanded lodge

"wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat"

imo this guy should get credit for identifying the modern shrew

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368399)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:59 PM
Author: Learning disabled set legal warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368816)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:45 PM
Author: Ungodly vigorous queen of the night

“No one wants to force middle-class American women to have babies. In fact, it’s almost impossible for them to contemplate having kids, because they’re terrified that it might set them back in their careers, and their rivals in the adjacent cubicles would grab their parking spaces and health plans. Nobody wants to use their bodies. That’s precisely the horror with which they live: no one wants to mate with them because in their world, every single striver must fear every other, and the sort of joint action involved in mating and rearing one’s young is impossible—laughable, a thing which only those who have abandoned the hope of A Career can contemplate. So in their minds, mating and rearing children moves down in class, becoming a thing for rednecks and (though they’ll never say this part out loud) immigrants-of-col”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368389)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: Scarlet immigrant pistol

The eXile was an early dose of REDPILL for me even though the writes are all lefty degenerates.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368394)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: bearded stock car shrine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368397)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:58 PM
Author: excitant newt plaza

whoah

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368476)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:09 PM
Author: grizzly state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368537)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:12 PM
Author: Irradiated flushed stage tattoo

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368558)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:46 PM
Author: mustard address

holy fuck

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368731)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 5:28 PM
Author: walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena

Cot damn

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368965)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 9th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: heady sexy dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#42430424)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:15 AM
Author: hateful whorehouse nibblets

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#43341997)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 24th, 2024 11:17 PM
Author: chestnut aphrodisiac public bath mexican

this is scholarship

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#48237594)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:05 PM
Author: titillating indigo associate

fatality

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368513)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 5:56 PM
Author: Soul-stirring internet-worthy rehab private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38369105)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2019 2:37 PM
Author: Electric Brunch

Does this guy have any thoughts on MAGA?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38393148)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:05 AM
Author: Galvanic Insane Resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#43341948)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:15 AM
Author: hateful whorehouse nibblets



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#43342001)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 3:46 AM
Author: Galvanic Insane Resort

this is so damn good I'm copy pasting the whole thing:

THE WINNER OF THE MARK DAVID CHAPMAN LITERARY PRIZE:

#1: Canadian Women ou Les Hoes Canucqois

By John Dolan

Just as I was finishing this column naming Margaret Atwood the Queen of Dunces, I heard she’d won this year’s Booker Prize. Once again, the mainstream press tries to scoop the eXile! There must be a leak somewhere in our ranks. Luckily, we have a roof which specializes in closing leaks, no matter how many fingernails or bamboo slivers it takes. Besides, what a transparent ploy, giving the Booker to Atwood! Atwood IS the Booker; she incarnates it; how can you award it to her? It’s like giving the Nobel to Nobel. Atwood is the prototype of the vaguely leftist, mainstream-feminist Commonwealth novelist for whom the Booker is reserved. Her name is legion: Barbara Kingsolver, Keri Hulme, Nadine Gordimer—these are her handmaids. Kingsolver, nominally American; Hulme, Kiwi; and Gordimer, South African white; all these are drawn like honking geese toward Atwood’s Kanada, spiritual home of all moderate-progressive white folk.

Kanada is the destination of Offred, the heroine of The Handmaid’s Tale, when she flees the Fundamentalist-ruled US. The notion that the Canadian border constitutes sanctuary might seem somewhat risible, since Ontario had considerable trouble repelling an 1867 invasion by forty-odd drunken Fenians armed with broken bottles and sticks. But Atwood refers here, not to a mere traffic jam full of Torontans smuggling home cheap VCRs, but a border between spiritual realms. Hers is a higher Canada, which exists among virtuous, slightly dim middlebrows everywhere in the world. This Greater Canada stretches from the two-square-meter bedrooms of ESL teachers in Kyoto to the jacuzzis of billionaire “progressives” in Malibu.

The scare-stories with which Atwood frigs her readers are distinguished by their foolish irrelevance. Take this alleged masterpiece, The Handmaid’s Tale. A foolish book, it depicts Hell as imagined by an anglo-Canadian mandarin: America ruled by savage uncultured Christians who not only repress all intellectual freedoms but would probably cut funding for genteel novelists. Worst of all, women in this Republic of Gilead are valued solely for their ability to bear children, restricted to the house and excluded from economic activity.

No one who knows anything about the way America works would ever really think that its rulers would want to let silly gender prejudices keep them from creating new consumers, much less let religion get in the way of productivity. The Baptist loonies are suckers to be wooed in election years, no more. They are useful as janitors in peacetime, cannon-fodder in war. Making them into the rulers of a nightmare vision of America is, by a charitable estimation, very naive. If we were to consider it less charitably, it might seem downright suspect. Atwood, who shares about 99.9% of her DNA with America’s real rulers, cannot see them at all, and so fails to notice their hegemony. As she confessed in boasting about her achievement in Handmaid’s Tale, she borrowed horror-stories about the treatment of women in loser countries like Iraq and applied them to the US. Apparently she could not see the horror which really does suffuse American life—a horror which has absolutely nothing to do with that losers’ club, Islam.

Handmaid’s Tale is meant to reassure every wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat, a VCR, and Pizza-for-one that her life is noble and progressive. Handmaid’s Tale is fun horror-fiction for women who work in the American-style cubicle-world precisely because it’s so utterly unrelated to the miseries and terrors of their own lives. No one wants to force middle-class American women to have babies. In fact, it’s almost impossible for them to contemplate having kids, because they’re terrified that it might set them back in their careers, and their rivals in the adjacent cubicles would grab their parking spaces and health plans. Nobody wants to use their bodies. That’s precisely the horror with which they live: no one wants to mate with them because in their world, every single striver must fear every other, and the sort of joint action involved in mating and rearing one’s young is impossible—laughable, a thing which only those who have abandoned the hope of A Career can contemplate. So in their minds, mating and rearing children moves down in class, becoming a thing for rednecks and (though they’ll never say this part out loud) immigrants-of-color. The desire to have children gets bounced outside oneself, onto these lesser beings, and returns, courtesy of Atwood, in demonized form, as the tyranny of procreation, family values and the Patriarchy. It’s the horror they love to fear.

And in the meantime, what has Atwood’s Utopia done, in real political terms? It has managed to distract a whole generation of Americanized women from the real fear and awful loneliness of their office lives. In this way, Atwood’s Canada of the Spirit is, like its real-world counterpart, the good-cop tool, the quaking valet of its Vampire master, America. Atwood’s Canada offers no answer to the Americanized women whose only family is Allie MacBeal and her friends. After all, they’re not rednecks, they’re not Fundamentalists. In fact, the horrible lives of every woman who tries to live out Allie MacBeal is rendered noble by reading Handmaid’s Tale.

So the owners of the cubicles rejoice in the intra-cranial vacations their slaves take in Atwood’s astral Canada. Let them crusade against the Republic of Gilead. Let them invest their wretched slaves’ lives with nobility. The real Republic of Gilead is a matter of dividends, not religion. It would never let the religious obsessions of its cannon-fodder voters interrupt the real business of America—the business carried out in the cubicles. If Allie and Margaret can scatter a cheap glitter over the walls of the cubicles, all the better.

It seems horribly apt that Atwood should win the Booker on the day Bush assumes the presidency. Atwood’s pious, dimwitted, credulous female Canada is the perfect handmaid for Bush’s under-the-table America. Their union is blessed with new offspring every day, every hour. As the coral reefs crumble, the cubicles invade. And everywhere they breed, from Kuala Lumpur to Samara, volumes of Atwood appear like Gideon Bibles at the desks of the corporate handmaids, telling them their lives are blessed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#43342614)



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Date: June 10th, 2019 3:32 PM
Author: spectacular trailer park macaca

Lmao is this really the story of the show?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368289)



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Date: June 10th, 2019 4:15 PM
Author: idiotic ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368575)



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Date: June 10th, 2019 4:35 PM
Author: Bearded Cuckoldry Blood Rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368690)



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Date: June 10th, 2019 4:59 PM
Author: Drunken Becky Meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#38368814)



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Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:13 AM
Author: walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#39475560)



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Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:13 AM
Author: Soul-stirring internet-worthy rehab private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#39475562)



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Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:13 AM
Author: olive boltzmann coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#39475565)



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Date: December 1st, 2021 2:11 PM
Author: walnut free-loading nursing home striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#43540168)



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Date: December 1st, 2021 2:12 PM
Author: Irradiated flushed stage tattoo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#43540180)



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Date: December 1st, 2021 2:35 PM
Author: Chartreuse impertinent affirmative action locus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#43540344)



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Date: July 1st, 2022 10:43 AM
Author: Rusted Fat Ankles

This and the "inside a lady's head" one are like bookends.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#44778169)



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Date: October 1st, 2023 8:48 PM
Author: Rusted Fat Ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#46870785)



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Date: February 20th, 2024 2:45 PM
Author: Rusted Fat Ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#47420608)



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Date: October 24th, 2024 11:06 PM
Author: Rusted Fat Ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Ã#48237576)