am i proud of myself? not really since i know me and i know all of my deepest secrets/mistakes/thoughts /etc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49984060)

in all seriousness though, i really like it here (in this rich inner world)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49984120)

That's not to say I don't enjoy it though, for as long as it lasts until I get blown away by AI. Nor is it to say I don't have an ego, because I would not change places with anyone. I like who I am and I'm right and you're wrong.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49984166)

Already over stop being niggers ljl

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985519)

are you proud of, satisfied with who you are - Sure. As a kid I would be perfectly happy with this outcome.

who others recognize you to be - This is the only one that really changed with time for me. Most people dgaf about you. They're not really impressed or deem you insufficiently prestigious or whatever. They simply go about their lives and only care about you to the extent you mean something to their lives. Therefore, worrying about this is incredibly stupid.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985411)

and we should all be fit, but it has nothing to do with other people. it's for yourself.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985464)

and even if no one else existed, the fat man should feel ashamed. we struggle with fatness because historically it was a sign of prosperity, but now it's the complete opposite. it's a sign of submission, of weakness. even if no one sees him huffing and puffing across the parking lot, he knows it's ridiculous.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985477)

When you're young you really think this way and everything matters and how important it is to be popular and well liked and all of that. That's because young people live in a very unattached world focused on establishing everything - their relationships (social, professional and romantic) and therefore this worldview makes sense. When you get older that becomes fundamentally untrue. Everything is settled and it doesn't really matter. Further, your own views on people reflect this. What do I think about whatever intern? Mostly a big shrug. They're unlikely to blow my socks off and to the extent they're very memorable it is probably a bad thing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985435)

this was like the whole hipster identity - how young can you be and still act like nothing matters? well that depends on how much money you have. popularity is just a proxy for wealth.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985443)

Imagine that you go to sleep tonight and you wake up. Your life was just a dream. A super weird dream. Instead, you're starting whatever grade. New school. Your memories are coming back - you hope this one cute girl is there. Oh, and your best friend moved away so he won't be there, which sucks. Your perspective will go back into that worrying how everyone views you, who you'll be friends with, who you'll date, how the teachers will see you because that'll impact your grades, etc. None of that shit impacts us now. We're married and have kids, we have settled jobs and careers. It is a different perspective entirely. It isn't just because we have enough money - I certainly don't and if I lost my job I'd have to find a new one.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985461)

if we had to start over again now there's really nothing there. like what would you do, take up yoga? enroll in some artsy masters? you're in your 40s. no one wants to hang out with you. there's no structure for the midlife crisis. the cute girl isn't there.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985485)

I actually don't feel any pull towards the whole midlife crisis thing. I'm happy with where I ended up, I don't feel "my youthful vitality fading" whatever that means. Yes, this stage of life is different but I don't have an issue with that. Maybe if I were more disconnected with my family or unhappy with my career.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985504)

it's just so meh. and i understand that's almost everyone's life, at least mine is comfortable, but i keep seeing what looks like idiots who have self actualized and it makes me disappointed with myself. like i'm not interested in this at all, and i never have been, i was just good at school and figured this was the next step. and now i'm 45 and it's over.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985506)

My takeaway from this is that you don't really like your job but you like the money and the success. That's kind of rough. I'm a tech dork that does tech dork things for a living so I'm as happy as a pig in shit.

I hope you at least work in something with decent work-life balance so the "meh" isn't your entire life. When I first started biglaw my office was next to a partner who was depressed and miserable. I knew this because he would call his psychologist from the office and would sometimes forget to close the door. The stuff I heard made me keenly aware that I didn't want to end up like that guy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985513)

i feel like you tech dorks would still dabble in tech dork shit if you had millions of dollars. i'd never talk to a lawyer again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985517)

100% accurate, and I'd be focused on the exact same shit I'm doing at work (AI, automation, security, etc.).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985568)

the above guy is 100% correct. we all carry around the default assumption that other people are thinking about us 24/7, because we are thinking about ourselves 24/7

but other people really just do not care about you beyond how you affect them personally. and so the more you can live your life among those people exclusively (those whose lives you actually affect, and who actually affect your life), and the less you can expose yourself to the meaningless masses beyond them, the better your life will be

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985438)

it took me a very, very long time to understand this and how fundamental it is to understanding how many people think and view themselves. i always thought from a baseline of "I have an ego and I'm mostly only thinking about myself, not other people, therefore nobody else actually gives a shit about me"; it never dawned on me until I was basically 30 that many people actually arrive at the opposite conclusion ("I am obsessed with myself therefore everyone else is as well"). it genuinely blew my mind when I realized e.g. relatives blabbering about other non-immediate relatives thinking they're all judging each other and the like was genuine and not some sort of schtick

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49986952)

Take ur meds pumo man

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49985700)

Granted, I'd like to have the combined genetics of Lee Priest & Richard Feynman and a trust fund set up by great-grandpa Rothschild, but I don't think that was the intent of the hypo.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49986981)

I'm thinking XOers are plagued by the striver mindset where someone feels themself to be a failure because they got dinged at Harvard and ended up at Princeton, only make $250k instead of $250M, or can only bench 315 instead of 495.

If a person's unhappy due to obesity, bad financial choices, or drug addition, that's just a failure to learn or execute (over a period of 40 or so years).

Perhaps I'm biased because I can't imagine why so many people feel unhappiness, shame, or a lack of pride (excluding external circumstances forced upon them)... or why 15-20% of Americans are on anti-depressants.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49987344)

Re “who others recognize me to be” I am reasonably satisfied but annoyed that I’m not more wealthy like many of my friends are despite the fact that we all have nearly identical CVs and specializations ie I have several friends who got very lucky with RSUs and I left a low seven figures worth of RSUs on the table when I decided to shift my career during Covid. But nearly all of them have worse kids and wives and live in shittier places than I lived for most of my career. I’d be extremely satisfied with how I am perceived if I can get a promotion and up my total comp about 20-30% sometime in the next 3 years or so.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880455&forum_id=2ﾃ｢竄ï½���„1¤77PHPSESSID=3d8e678aec504db068978830e992758d#49986993)