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Staten Island Brunch 2 (180) just dropped, here it is

Sequel is never as good as the original but it takes me an h...
Amber parlor
  08/28/26
...
walnut fragrant state
  08/28/26
...
ocher submissive hairy legs
  08/28/26
...
Amber parlor
  08/28/26
a neat crew cut with handsome salt and pepper 1 length on th...
Motley principal's office cuckoldry
  08/28/26
180
aggressive alpha
  08/28/26
180
indecent chest-beating sandwich old irish cottage
  08/28/26
...
razzle-dazzle olive karate
  08/28/26
Every fucking day for the last 15 years I’ve checked i...
opaque private investor corner
  08/28/26
...
wonderful federal station filthpig
  08/28/26
♥️
Amber parlor
  08/28/26
...
Ebony Rehab Fortuitous Meteor
  08/28/26
and boy do you have decisions to make…
copper vigorous national
  08/28/26
...
House-broken misanthropic pocket flask
  08/29/26
180 billion
180 mint field
  08/30/26
no less than 50 Pace college girls all dressed in short shor...
wonderful federal station filthpig
  08/28/26
...
Amber parlor
  08/28/26
...
puce sexy travel guidebook
  08/28/26
"Sequel is never as good as the original" fucki...
histrionic queen of the night
  08/28/26
Never really got along with you on this board anyway lol. I ...
Amber parlor
  08/28/26
ljl at cumskin butthurt that at least one legendary poaster ...
histrionic queen of the night
  08/28/26
Yeah let’s stop. I don’t like board confrontatio...
Amber parlor
  08/28/26
Link to your best 3 posts of the last 5 years? You really...
opaque private investor corner
  08/28/26
He’s always been a fuming mad pathetic little NOWAG lo...
laughsome anal brunch
  08/28/26
He’s not long for this world
Pink Crotch Dilemma
  08/29/26
(Xo 2026) let’s celebrate mediocrity. During peak xo a...
histrionic queen of the night
  08/29/26
is the implication that JLB and team hired the Sudanese guys...
wine abode
  08/28/26
I guess it’s that these “national team” th...
Amber parlor
  08/28/26
no no right. no right. i get that. i'll just leave it at whe...
wine abode
  08/28/26
I’ll make note of that for the third one on 2036.
Amber parlor
  08/28/26
This is going viral on Sudanese social medial
fishy circlehead
  08/28/26
...
wine abode
  08/28/26
...
razzmatazz drab plaza wagecucks
  08/28/26
...
drunken talented kitchen
  08/29/26
"Ayyyy Jimmy! You lookin' for yer girl? She was headed ...
Motley principal's office cuckoldry
  08/28/26
...
Amber parlor
  08/28/26
Edited in your honor.
Amber parlor
  08/28/26
...
fishy circlehead
  08/28/26
...
Grizzly ticket booth
  08/28/26
Nice to see the cop reprise his role, tough out there for ch...
laughsome anal brunch
  08/28/26
Yeah in between all this one day James invited Roberto to me...
Amber parlor
  08/28/26
...
unhinged ceo
  08/28/26
...
razzmatazz drab plaza wagecucks
  08/28/26
Real talk I would hang out with Roberto and James Lovers-Bru...
Pink Crotch Dilemma
  08/29/26
disappointed Roberto dropped the tight fitted dri-fit with t...
carnelian institution
  08/29/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 11:37 AM
Author: Amber parlor

Sequel is never as good as the original but it takes me an hour to take a shit now:

The sound of a crackling antenna radio and Bob Costas voice….

“And they did it! You can hear the enormous cheers from the city streets. As the United States shoots down its second plane into the Hudson River as it was approaching the south tower, avoiding the worst terrori—“

*alarm sounds as James Lovers-Brunch wakes up in a cold sweat*

“Thank god. Just a bad dream.”

James looks out his luxurious penthouse window towards downtown Manhattan as the sunrise reflects off the glass World Trade Center building.

“Today is the day…I become a world lacrosse champion!”

James heads to a local outdoor athletic field with his duffle bag with “France” facing outwards. He says “Today we play Sudan in the finals!”

As the game went on, the group of Sudanese ringers all looked confused as JLB and his friends scored goal after goal leading the game 31-0. As the final whistle blew, all of the members of the Sudanese took off running out of the complex.

JLB was confused. A Sudanese man approached dressed in traditional garb and replied to James’s confusion “They not know this game. In home country you’re killed if you lose game. They’re scared.”

James replied “How DARE you try to downplay my athletic accomplishments?”

At that moment a baseball rolled towards James foot. He said surprised “wait what-“

He looked up and saw a 5’10 Puerto Rican man, well built trim waist athletic forearms, Mizuno t shirt and a backwards SF giants hat. Huge grin. White teeth.

“How’s it going James?”

“Roberto!” James replied. “What are you doing here? Still trying to get picked up by an independent league team you LOSER?”

Roberto laughed and replied “Not exactly James. My son is 14 now. Just practicing—He’s trying to make varsity as a Freshman. My playing days are over but I still do it for them. Still got my hair though (*with a youthful grin takes off his hat and shows a neat crew cut with handsome salt and pepper 1 length on the sides*).

James “oh please! Kids at your height?”

Roberto replies with a smile “5 actually. These lifts did me well. They make cushion ones now.”

Before James could reply with insult, a beautiful 5’7 female holding a baby walks over and says to Roberto “hey the baby’s getting fussy, wanna head out?”

James jeers “oh are you sure these are his? You chose to reproduce with a short man!? I’m TALL!”

The woman looks on confused at James. Says to Roberto “um babe…let’s…go.”

Roberto grins and whispers to James. “Hey…so I’m due for a guys night out. Waddya you say we head downtown and check out the new Pace girls. There’s this bar I’ve been meaning to go to near Fulton. Like the old days.” Roberto winks.

James “you’re on! I’m gonna show you that short men CANNOT attract women.”

Roberto looks on slightly confused at James hostility trying to determine if it’s a joke considering the offer was a simple friends night out. Roberto replies “ok…so let’s meet at 8. Corner of Fulton and Broadway.”

That night JLB headed downtown with his gorgeous Ukrainian date who looked slightly annoyed. “This bar is gonna have a bunch of college kids.” JLB replied “don’t worry we’ll be outta here once we show this SHORTMO that he’s a LOSER!”

As JLB went to pay the bouncer put his hand out and said “don’t worry, Roberto took care of it for you guys. He’s inside.”

James went in and confronted Roberto, who was sitting in the VIP with two 19 year old college girls. Roberto said “don’t worry James. I threw my life savings in $MU at $64 last year and sold at $1000. Then threw it in DELL. I’m good. Caught up two generations of wealth” (*with a grin*)

James was seething. At that moment Modern Talking “Cheri Cheri Lady” starts playing. Roberto says “I love this song!”

He gets on the dance floor and leads a synchronized dance with no less than 50 Pace college girls all dressed in short shorts or short dresses. Everyone laughing…except James. James shouts “check his shoes! He’s wearing lifts!” But no one heard over the laughing, screaming and bottle throwing.

As the song stopped Roberto approached James and said “I’m hosting an after party in Staten Island..you’re welcome to come.”

James turns to his beautiful Ukrainian date and begins to say “We’re leaving for St. Tropez tomorrow. I wouldn’t be caught dead!” But when he turned she wasn’t there.

He asked the bartender “Did you see my date?!”

The bartender a man in his 40’s manipulating a rag in his hand says “ Ayyyy Jimmy! You lookin' for yer girl? She was headed to the Staten Island ferry. She was dressed for a party.”

James seething grabs the first cab he can find and says “take me to South Ferry!”

As James arrives he sprints through the ferry terminal to find out the ferry had already taken off. Roberto was at the front of the ferry packed with women and the Ukrainian model everyone waving their arms in unison as the party just started.

James grabs his cell phone to his helicopter pilot and yells “RIGHT NOW GET OVER HERE WE NEED TO GET TO STATEN ISLAND!”

Will James get his girl back? Will he make his flight to St. Tropez? Boy does he have decisions to make…

Thank you Judas Jones for the edit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099240)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 12:29 PM
Author: walnut fragrant state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099361)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 12:32 PM
Author: ocher submissive hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099367)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 12:58 PM
Author: Amber parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099429)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 1:03 PM
Author: Motley principal's office cuckoldry

a neat crew cut with handsome salt and pepper 1 length on the sides

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099437)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 1:14 PM
Author: aggressive alpha

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099446)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 1:16 PM
Author: indecent chest-beating sandwich old irish cottage

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099450)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 1:18 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle olive karate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099452)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 1:31 PM
Author: opaque private investor corner

Every fucking day for the last 15 years I’ve checked in on this shithole of a board waiting for this post, knowing it would never come, but needing to keep checking just to make sure.

And today… holy shit it’s here. It’s everything I’d hoped it’d be. 199. You are the king.

Need to go take a walk outside to think more about this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099471)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 1:39 PM
Author: wonderful federal station filthpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099485)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 2:16 PM
Author: Amber parlor

♥️

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099566)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 2:17 PM
Author: Ebony Rehab Fortuitous Meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099568)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:55 PM
Author: copper vigorous national

and boy do you have decisions to make…

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099835)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2026 10:20 AM
Author: House-broken misanthropic pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50101447)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 30th, 2026 2:55 PM
Author: 180 mint field

180 billion

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50104170)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 1:39 PM
Author: wonderful federal station filthpig

no less than 50 Pace college girls all dressed in short shorts or short dresses

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099484)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 3:28 PM
Author: Amber parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099711)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 3:35 PM
Author: puce sexy travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099718)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:24 PM
Author: histrionic queen of the night

"Sequel is never as good as the original"

fucking understatement of the century. this sucked.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099764)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:40 PM
Author: Amber parlor

Never really got along with you on this board anyway lol. I made this bc me and RSF are buddies and can poke fun like adults. We’re not hostile like some maniac who has made an entry into every prostitution thread for the last 25 years and blank bumps it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099796)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 5:35 PM
Author: histrionic queen of the night

ljl at cumskin butthurt that at least one legendary poaster still has the integrity to call out a shit thread. riding on nostalgia is not talent. hack.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099932)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 5:43 PM
Author: Amber parlor

Yeah let’s stop. I don’t like board confrontation. Thanks for your honesty.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099940)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:05 PM
Author: opaque private investor corner

Link to your best 3 posts of the last 5 years?

You really turned into a nasty lonely middle aged man.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50100098)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:21 PM
Author: laughsome anal brunch

He’s always been a fuming mad pathetic little NOWAG loser

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50100134)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2026 9:48 AM
Author: Pink Crotch Dilemma

He’s not long for this world

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50101400)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2026 11:37 AM
Author: histrionic queen of the night

(Xo 2026) let’s celebrate mediocrity. During peak xo a thread this weak would have received two bumps and be forgotten. This is less than ai goy slop and I’m the only historic poaster willing to call it out. First Brunch was 177. This sad attempt is 160.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50101561)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:36 PM
Author: wine abode

is the implication that JLB and team hired the Sudanese guys as patsies?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099791)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:40 PM
Author: Amber parlor

I guess it’s that these “national team” things after college are largely flame with no competition. One of my buddies played on the Ireland national team for baseball and they would lose to an average high school team in the Us.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099794)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:50 PM
Author: wine abode

no no right. no right. i get that. i'll just leave it at when i first looked up this world lacrosse champsionship thing i was ooohhhh man ifykwim.

but more importantly, i fear JLB is becoming a shallow one-note sort of Wile E. Coyote / Yosemite Sam character. bumbling around and occasionally growling. also, the nightclub scene would be a good spectacle but it's just ... Home Alone 2 or i can't even think of comparable schlockiness

look, i get it. you want to cash in on this one. I was "Rocky" and this is "Rocky V". but maybe we could give JLB and Roberto the human treatment after we release this as next summer's tentpole?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099818)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:53 PM
Author: Amber parlor

I’ll make note of that for the third one on 2036.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099826)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:41 PM
Author: fishy circlehead

This is going viral on Sudanese social medial

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099798)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:50 PM
Author: wine abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099822)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:24 PM
Author: razzmatazz drab plaza wagecucks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50100145)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2026 10:56 AM
Author: drunken talented kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50101488)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:53 PM
Author: Motley principal's office cuckoldry

"Ayyyy Jimmy! You lookin' for yer girl? She was headed to the Staten Island ferry. She was dressed for a party."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099829)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:58 PM
Author: Amber parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099850)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:59 PM
Author: Amber parlor

Edited in your honor.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50099860)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 6:53 PM
Author: fishy circlehead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50100070)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:19 PM
Author: Grizzly ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50100131)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:20 PM
Author: laughsome anal brunch

Nice to see the cop reprise his role, tough out there for character actors. Would Jimmy and JLB have been familiar enough to want to go out for drinks, even if they both have ulterior motives?I don’t recall direct interactions between them in the original.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50100133)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:30 PM
Author: Amber parlor

Yeah in between all this one day James invited Roberto to meet him outside of a building near Fulton and Roberto waited for 30 minutes poasting for Jimmy to come down and he didn’t. Then he tried to set up an arrangement to meet in March of this year and Jimmy stood him up again. Maybe next time he’s in NYC they can link up.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50100153)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:21 PM
Author: unhinged ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50100136)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:25 PM
Author: razzmatazz drab plaza wagecucks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50100146)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2026 10:01 AM
Author: Pink Crotch Dilemma

Real talk I would hang out with Roberto and James Lovers-Brunch and hit on girls 20 years younger than us in the East Village

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50101420)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2026 11:41 AM
Author: carnelian institution

disappointed Roberto dropped the tight fitted dri-fit with the griffey logo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2ค1¤7PHPSESSID=188a95202f833e097d78c96d76bac3f6#50101574)