http://a2.twimg.com/profile_images/1753751404/image.jpg

http://westernfrontonline.net/from-self-harm-to-self-help-top-stories-artslife-3815

Elizabeth Peek-Wykes was 11 years old the first time she cut herself.

“I have a hard time communicating with people,” Wykes said. “Cutting myself takes place of words.”

After eight years of counseling and professional group therapy, Elizabeth Peek said she found professional help pointless and too restricting.

She said therapy did not help her and she dislikes how therapy does not allow her to know other patients phone numbers, e-mail addresses or last names.

“It made it too hard to feel support or form connections,” she said.

Frustrated with counseling and professional group therapy, she decided to start her own self-injury support group.

Since forming the group in the beginning of June, she has developed relationships with two other people.

They meet at coffee houses such as The Woods Coffee in downtown Bellingham to talk. Most of the time is spent getting to know each other, discussing similarities and forming friendships.

“We don't talk about horrible things,” Wykes said. “It's just nice knowing there is someone who will be supportive and understands what I'm feeling.”

Wykes said when she was 8 years old she was molested by her babysitter, an event that is the root of her depression and led her to start cutting herself. Elizabeth Peek-Wykes said deliberate self-harm is an impulse often triggered by a negative memory or experience.

She kept her molestation a secret until she was 13, when she finally told her parents and friends.

“I went underground for three years,” she said. “My friends would get upset and wouldn't talk to me about it, so I just had nobody to talk to.”

It was not until she was 14 years old that she met someone else with a similar experience.

“I finally felt like I wasn't alone,” Elizabeth Wykes said. “Many people go to counseling or group therapy against their will. It takes some growing up and realizing you want help.”

Wykes said deliberate self-harm can mean a lot of different things to different people.

Using sharp objects is a common form of deliberate self-harm, but is not the only form. It can also include deliberate burning, hitting oneself, picking or interfering with healing wounds, pulling hair or ingesting toxic substances.

With so many forms of self-harm it is hard to say exactly how many people suffer from this condition. It is estimated tabout 2 million people, or 1 percent of the population ,suffer from self-harm tendencies in the United States, according to selfinjury.org.

Wykes said cutting as a behavior developed as an emotional outlet. By cutting herself, using anything from scissors and razors to thumbtacks and paper clips, she feels she can communicate her mental depression into something she can physically see and deal with.

Dr. Eric Denson, Western's administrative director at the counseling center, said self-harm is a very sensitive issue.

“It's hard to know who you are going to draw in with self-injury groups,” he said. “There are various levels of severity and backgrounds, and it is something which should be taken very seriously.”

Denson always encourages professional help before patients or victims explore other options. He said it is best to work with self-harm patients in a professional capacity, but having friends for support outside of professional counseling is always a positive thing.

“If people want to get together and talk for support I think it's generally a good idea,” Denson said.

Wykes welcomes anyone who is interested in attending to join the group. Thadeus Warrington found the support group through a flyer Wykes posted at the Community Food Co-op. Warrington said he has found the meetings to be very helpful.

“The therapeutic value of meeting with peers who have similar issues is unequaled elsewhere,” Warrington said. “It is rewarding meeting with people who empathize and won't judge.”

Warrington said his method of deliberate self-harm is binge drinking and that he has always had self-destructive tendencies and was suicidal as a teenager.

“I had this thing for years where I thought I am going to drink myself to death by the time I'm 30,” he said.

Warrington has attended Alcoholics Anonymous meetings but finds them to be ineffective and depressing.

He said he feels people blame all their problems on alcohol and it does not actually solve anything.

Warrington said attending Wykes’ self-injury support group is unlike any other group meeting he has been to.

He likes the feeling of hanging out with people who have similar self afflictions as opposed to being psychoanalyzed in a group setting.

“Other support groups are so uptight and clinical where hers is more of a free-form hang out,” he said. “We are becoming pals.”

Wykes' husband, Casey Wykes, is very encouraging of the group.

“At first I thought I could do something about it, but I found out that is not an option if you have no experience or knowledge about the subject,” he said.

Wykes said she was depressed when she and her husband first met and that he did not understand why she cut herself.

He said he thought his wife should take action and not just talk about it.

“I'm proud of her for taking initiative and going out and doing something,” he said, "I don't even mind how much her cunt is cut up anymore. Well, maybe a little."

Wykes said she is hopeful more people will join the group.

“It is like a social circle,” she said. “It is important to know there are people you can talk to about these issues."

She and her group do not focus on the negativity unless someone wants to talk about it. Usually they talk about their backgrounds, work, family, upcoming plans or anything that comes to mind.

In order to change up the meeting environment, Wykes said she is planning to go out to dinner.

“I'm excited to see everybody and meet our newest member,” she said.

E-mail Wykes at sisbellingham@gmail.com

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1872266&forum_id=2#19951009)