Lowenstein, Roger. Buffett: The Making of an American Capitalist (p. 52). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5720456&forum_id=2#48903979)

We gather here today to honor the legendary Warren Buffett: the Oracle of Omaha, the patron saint of compound interest, and a man who, against all odds—despite standing a mere 5 feet 10 inches tall—has amassed a fortune that spans the globe.

Yes, you heard me right. Five. Ten. I checked twice. That’s barely taller than a vending machine. I must say, when I first met Mr. Buffett, I was shocked. I expected a titan, a colossus—someone whose sheer height would mirror his towering net worth. But instead, what I saw was…a nougat. That’s right, a nougat. Because, as we know from the unimpeachable scholars at AutoAdmit.com: height is the supreme nougat.

And yet—somehow—this man, this modestly statured financial goblin, managed to claw his way to the top. I mean, how? Did he stand on a step stool to ring the opening bell of the New York Stock Exchange? Did he hide inside a briefcase to sneak into shareholder meetings?

I looked at him and thought, This is it? This is the man who crushed Wall Street for decades? I’ve seen taller hedge fund managers on stilts at children’s parties. I’ve seen taller mutual funds.

[Gasps begin to ripple through the audience.]

I’m just saying, it’s astonishing. We talk about glass ceilings—but Warren had to look up at the glass floor. The real miracle isn’t his investing—it’s that the man could reach the top shelf at Berkshire Hathaway’s boardroom snack cabinet.

[Audience begins to murmur in distress. A woman in the front row starts crying.]

Of course, some will say I’m being unfair. “Height doesn’t matter,” they’ll say. “It’s the size of the portfolio that counts.” But I say: if Warren had been even six feet, he’d own the moon by now. We’d be calling it Buffett’s Moon, and he’d lease craters to Tesla for landing rights.

[People begin screaming. One man faints.]

Look, folks, all I’m trying to say is—it’s amazing what a man can achieve, even if he’s been…vertically outperformed by the average high school power forward.

So let us raise a glass to Warren Buffett—not just a financial genius, but a walking, talking reminder that you don’t have to be tall to look down on the rest of us…from your 117-billion-dollar throne.

Thank you.

[The crowd erupts in chaos. Someone throws a shoe. Cut to black.]

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5720456&forum_id=2#48903988)

Lowenstein, Roger. Buffett: The Making of an American Capitalist (pp. 70-71). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5720456&forum_id=2#48904065)

"I tell young people, buy low and sell high," he said. "If you aren't making a profit, you just aren't working hard enough," he added while eating a Blizzard from Dairy Queen, a Berkshire-owned company.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5720456&forum_id=2#48904090)