Date: August 26th, 2015 11:08 PM Author: Chocolate ratface
They're planning an ambush. I got an Outlook invite at 4:45 p.m. to attend a meeting at noon on Sept. 1.
The entire admin staff, my boss, my paralegal and I were the only ones invited. I knew something was up when I noticed we were the only lawyer/para team invited so I emailed her asking her what the meeting is for. She replied it is just an admin meeting.
I said that I noticed I'm the only lawyer invited and I don't want to be ambushed. I used that word. She shot back, "It is mandatory, if you have any questions, ask Tom." Tom the office manager, she's his right-hand cunt.
I ask my boss wtf is going on and he's embarrassed. Said he doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. That was all I needed to know--he doesn't give a fuck what they are bitching about.
I got my paralegal all riled up now. She had already left for the day so I texted her what was up. We are going in guns blazing.
Brothers, I promise you that I am a super chill dude and never start shit, but they are going to see a side of me they've never seen. I was practicing my rant on the drive home tonight. Its gonna be good.
Date: September 2nd, 2015 2:09 AM Author: Rusted sex offender roommate
Thank you. Good work by the way. Do you still believe without a doubt that there is a sociopath hiding behind her professed fundamentalist views? I personally like and approve of the fact that you brow-beat the shit out of her because she was being passive aggressive, I believe, and definitely seemed to be acting like you should take yourself to be in arrears to her for some unknown favor she'd rather not say what than hopefully watch you squirm under the hostile vibes that she arguably was enjoying sprinkling your path with. So, it's good that you fucked her up IMHO. Keep up the good fight, Good man!
Date: September 2nd, 2015 2:31 AM Author: Chocolate ratface
Yeah, she's a sociopath. She shows no sympathy whatsoever for others. If it got down to it, one of the more vicious things I planned on saying to her was that it was a good thing she is a fundamentalist christian, because with her personality she probably won't ever get married and procreate. Anyone who would be foolish enough to procreate with her would either be an idiot or another sociopath which would probably lead to her breeding mass-murdering children. Bros, I'm telling you, you really don't want to fuck with me.
Date: September 2nd, 2015 3:05 AM Author: Rusted sex offender roommate
When I read your account I'm nodding, "Yup . . .Uh hu . . .damn straight mother fucker," and it reminds me of my own thinking in similar situations. Some people like to tell me, "Oh DeShaun, are you sure you might not be telling yourself stories, you seem not exactly dispassionate about the matter?" But I have enjoyed so much success (and Dale Carnegie even said any man instinctively speaks eloquently when he is really angry) not by taking their counsel but only mine in such matters as when justly feeling wronged. Reppin' hard like a beast, going meta on fools with well thought out args that may include the kitchen sink at first, but I carefully refine and fortify with something like an obsession. So, my question is this: when you were young did you take like a natural to protecting those weak around you when someone stronger was picking on them?
Date: September 2nd, 2015 3:19 AM Author: Chocolate ratface
180
Shit, brother, I think I quoted Dale Carnegie last weekend ("Your own name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language" (or something like that)).
No, I did not take to a natural protecting of the weak around me when someone stronger was picking on them because I was the weak who was being picked on. My only weapon was my mouth.
I remember being a freshman in high school taking some architecture class lol. A hot senior chick sat to my right in this class. Understand that my freshman year in high school I was 4'10" and 83 lbs. I know. There was a special weigh for freshman wrestlers in high school which was 90 lbs. And I was under that.
Some kid to my left said something smart to me and without thinking I said something right back which shut him up. I remember the hot senior chick said, "How do you do that?"
I said, "How do I do what?"
She said something like I had a talent for identifying insecurites/weaknesses and exploiting them. I didn't realize I was doing that until she told me. I've cultivated it ever since.
Date: September 2nd, 2015 3:39 AM Author: Rusted sex offender roommate
Oh nice! The hot chick showed you one of your gifts but you were savvy enough to take wise note. And that reminds me what Federer said when asked whther it was better to shore up one's weaknesses or to develop his natural strengths until they become viable weapons. He did not hesitate to answer that in his opinion it was much better to develop your natural strengths. I think the wealthiest man in Rome at one point, Crassus, urged this or a similar piece of life advice, too. As for your being adept at identifying and exploiting insecurities and weaknesses in others, historian Leonard Cottrell argues here http://www.google.com/search?q=hannibal+enemy+of+rome&oq=hannibal+enemy+of+rome&aqs=chrome..69i57.8792j0j8&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8# that this same, uncanny trait belonged to the Carthaginian general Hannibal, and it was most indispensable to his success, according to Cottrell.
Date: August 27th, 2015 2:01 AM Author: Chocolate ratface
That's how it started. There was the internet policy thing, then she said I'm loud and curse too much. I think this meeting, however, is because my paralegal has been bitching her internet privileges are still restricted.
My paralegal is hardcore. We haven't been backed into a corner before. We've been working together since I came to this firm a year and half ago and we are a great team. The office manager, fucking Tom, told me two weeks ago that we were "holding up the fort." Neither one of us are expendable. HR bitch is, but she doesn't realize it. She's delusional and I'm going to make her cry.
Date: August 26th, 2015 11:43 PM Author: Vigorous alcoholic hissy fit
I was thinking this. unless you are looking at some type of harassment beef, HR needs to sit down and recognize that they work for the fucking lawyers in a firm and not the other way around. If anything, rope in your main partner and have him show up. If he's anything like this one guy I worked with in the day he'll say "you wasting his time and my money. now what the fuck is this about?".
Date: August 26th, 2015 11:50 PM Author: Medicated drunken jap
Oh yeah, I forgot to add above....your paralegal will probably hedge her bets. She'll act on your side but also play up the "we support staff girls need to stick together" card and get in the good graces of the rest of the cunts out to kill you. I wouldn't depend on her.
Date: August 27th, 2015 1:59 AM Author: bateful party of the first part
You should walk in. Look at the ringleader dead in the eye and then say to the boss: "Her or me. One of us is going back to the desk and the other is going home."
Date: August 27th, 2015 2:05 AM Author: bateful party of the first part
By not even listening to what they have to say and making your superior position known at the outset, you create a strong message that'll prevent these shenanigans moving forward.
Date: August 27th, 2015 2:09 AM Author: Chocolate ratface
My boss is the type that will want to air out the grievances. That's how he is. He's got my back over hers, I know that. He needs to placate her, but I'm not leaving that meeting until I bring her to tears.
Date: August 27th, 2015 2:11 AM Author: Chocolate ratface
Because my boss will be there and I'm in the same building. I avoid confrontation at all costs, but there is no avoiding this one. That is why I say they are going to see a different side of me. They are backing me into a corner. I'm positive my boss knows what's coming. I made it pretty evident tonight when I questioned him about the meeting.
Date: August 27th, 2015 2:20 AM Author: Turquoise parlour friendly grandma
brother, don't go. just schedule a meeting out of the office or something if you have to. nobody is going to be impressed if you rip her a new one. it's assumed you're brighter and probably right and more rhetorically gifted. just playing her game brings you down.
Date: August 27th, 2015 2:26 AM Author: Chocolate ratface
A few minutes ago I declined the meeting (changed it from 'tenatively accepted' and emailed my para to decline it too and told her I'll take the blame. This will blow their millennial minds.
Date: August 27th, 2015 2:29 AM Author: Turquoise parlour friendly grandma
180. she will look stupid as fuck because you know she's been telling everybody she's going to take you down a peg. if you can manage, have you and your para be out of the office just to avoid any ambushes.
Date: August 27th, 2015 2:36 AM Author: Chocolate ratface
The dynamics of my office are difficult to explain, but our declines are going to create immediate drama. My boss will be forced to intervene and the end result will be that we have to attend the meeting. I'm five steps ahead at this point.
Date: August 27th, 2015 2:49 AM Author: harsh hell degenerate
(rank amateur at office politics)
brother if your boss overrules you and says you have to go, you're losing power, not gaining it, because everyone will see you as a child who is being told what to do by the parent
Date: August 27th, 2015 3:01 AM Author: Chocolate ratface
Funny you should ask. Her only job a couple of months ago was billing. We hand-wrote all our billing on these pre-printed spreadsheets, and turned them in daily to her. She would input them into the computer and mail out invoices.
We recently switched to a computerized billing system so she would normally have lost her job, but my boss is a softie so he promoted her to #2 office manager even though she has nothing to do. I'm sure she does something, but I have no idea what it is.
Date: August 27th, 2015 3:00 AM Author: orange filthy generalized bond
To be fair,
"...and then, he told me that he--that he... he wanted to 'fuck my tight little... Asian pussy'.... in the breakroom. With his hand still resting on my thigh. I literally felt like I was going to choke, I was so upset and scared..."
*She begins crying softly, her face buried in her tiny hands and her shoulders shaking*
Date: August 27th, 2015 3:03 AM Author: orange filthy generalized bond
To be fair,
"...and my--my faith in Jesus Christ only makes this... even more upsetting...I literally couldn't believe what I was hearing... No one has ever spoken to me like that...."
Date: August 27th, 2015 3:08 AM Author: orange filthy generalized bond
To be fair,
Serious suggestion: Come in wearing a bra and women's panties. If shit really goes south, take off your jacket and flex a little to reveal the outlines of the bra against your dress shirt, and then make a point of casually "adjusting" your panty line as if you were innocently scratching (making sure that everyone in the room can see what you're wearing) before you respond to anything.
Then, start off by explaining that you're actually really glad that this meeting is taking place, because you've been meaning to discuss how a few workplace issues that have come to light recently are really beginning to impede how your gender identity transition is progressing.
You need to fight fire with fire brother. Fuck pride.
Date: August 27th, 2015 3:14 AM Author: orange filthy generalized bond
To be fair,
You're just lucky that she's Korean. Gay/Tranny can't beat Black or Crippled, but it might have a fighting shot against Asian and Woman. Godspeed, brother. Welcome to Obama's America.
Date: August 27th, 2015 3:20 AM Author: Chocolate ratface
That ad propelled her to stardom. I read an LA Times article when that ad first came out. People were literally lined up in the hallway outside her office every day waiting to consult with her.
Date: August 28th, 2015 12:34 AM Author: Chocolate ratface
It is on. After I canceled the meeting I emailed my para and told her to cancel, I have her back. My paralegal expressed hesitation, but said okay and she canceled. This was in the morning when I was in court.
I get out of court and I see an email from my paralegal, "WE HAVE BEEN SUMMONED."
We were both ordered, by the office manager, to come see him as soon as I get back from court. I emailed my paralegal, "Fuck him."
I get back to my office and I'm prepared to kick this motherfucker out if he came up to talk to me. I am MAF. I don't see or hear from him, but I can't log into Outlook. Guess who I have to call to fix the problem? Yep, the HR cunt.
She said it was because I didn't use a capital letter in the beginning of my password. Funny how I've never had to do that before, my password has always been no caps. These millennials are passive aggressive little bastards.
So the cunt "fixes" my issue and then tells me she rescheduled the meeting. I just said okay so she'd leave.
Later in the day my boss comes into my office all excited. The new attorney we hired gave him the biggest compliment. He said it was fun to work here. I said, "Until you butt heads with admin, then it isn't so fun."
He goes, "What's the problem?"
My voice raises to it's most extreme pitch. One I save for when I am raging pissed off.
"The problem is that I have 100 open cases with people who have REAL problems. The gov't is trying to lock these people up and throw away the key and I'm told I have to attend a mandatory meeting, but they won't tell me what its about. Are they my boss? Because if they are I didn't get that memo [boss shakes head] . . . AND I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DEAL WITH THEIR HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA BULLSHIT AND THEIR EGGSHELL PYSCHES . . ."
"I get it, I get it. I'll take care of it." Boss goes back to office and puts on noise canceling headphones.
Then I see I have an email from this morning, when I was in court, from the office manager. He says the meeting is because I and my "team" (my para) are expected to conduct ourselves in a courteous manner towards admin and he's been hearing stories. He just wanted to flush everything out.
I replied, "That is offensive."
He said he wasn't trying to be offensive he just wants to air out the grievances, blah blah.
I said, "The allegations are offensive as well as the fact that I have to take time out of my incredibly busy schedule to cater to admin's eggshell psyches. Perhaps I should look for another job."
I'm not showing up for tomorrow's bagel meeting. I'm going to be in my office, but not at the meeting. Fuck this shit.
Date: August 28th, 2015 12:38 AM Author: wonderful chapel
Good for you. It's nice to see an office bully get fucked with, I've always been in large institutions with entrenched bureaucracies that let shit like this fester
Date: August 28th, 2015 12:57 AM Author: Chocolate ratface
Brother, I'm not flame and this chick pushed my buttons which is very hard to do, but she pushed them. Did you ever read my thread where I started a union at Burger King when I was 16?
I've never given a fuck. Ever.
When I was a waiter back on the east coast I was fired. It was my first job waiting tables. I was fired on a Sunday morning after setting up the restaurant for two hours. One waiter every Sunday morning had to set up the restaurant at $2.14/hour. That was minimum wage for waiters in that state.
After I finish setting everything up the manager approaches me and tells me I'm fired because someone Saturday night didn't stock the wine cooler. I was one of the three people working Saturday night. Was I to blame? I said no. He said that is what all three of us said so he is firing all three of us.
I said, "Thanks for waiting to tell me until I set up the entire restaurant you motherfucker." I slammed the door on my way out.
A few hours later I get a call from one of the chicks who was also fired. "Chilmata, you can get your job back. Just go back and tell him how badly you want to work there."
"I called him a motherfucker."
"Just apologize, I'm sure he'll forgive you."
So I go back over there and apologize. He says it was all just a test to see who was serious about their job. Then he goes, "By the way, I know this is your first job waiting tables and you made up all those restaurants on your resume, but I'm not going to fire you for that because you have some balls, son."
Date: August 28th, 2015 1:09 AM Author: Chocolate ratface
I've been there for a year and a half now and this is the first issue. This azn chick is a fundamentalist christian. Check this out.
At the last bullshit meeting I was dragged into she complained that she is a christian and is offended when she hears me curse. So I say, okay, I curse a lot, I'll try to be conscious of this.
I actually pay very close attention to what is going on around me at all times. I knew that everyone in our office curses a lot, but I wanted to gauge this chicks reaction. Sure enough, she never batted an eye whenever anyone else curses in front of her. She's out to get me. This meeting is a set up.
My plan is to record the meeting, announce I'm recording the meeting to protect myself and then request to file a formal grievance against the azn chick for creating a hostile work environment. I'm just getting fucking started, too.
Date: August 28th, 2015 1:14 AM Author: Purple really tough guy wrinkle
a meeting with 10 people complaining about you is obviously not an appropriate forum for airing out grievances and making peace.
either people talk to you individually about what they want or they should submit their specific complaints/demands to the HR people and they talk to you about specific things you can do.
Date: August 28th, 2015 1:36 AM Author: Chocolate ratface
My paralegal liked to play this video slot game on her computer when she was bored and her comp got so infected with viruses they had to get her a new computer. Same thing happened to office manager although who knows what got his comp infected. His office is always locked.
So when they got her a new comp they blocked her from all internet sites. When she complained, the azn bitch said to give her a list of all the URLs she needs to access. I jumped in and said that was BS, they can just block the one site.
Every day my para is blocked from websites she needs to access and she has a short temper and a loud voice. And she curses a lot. And she hates the azn hr cunt because she stole my para's wine at a firm xmas party a few years ago. It was actually a bait-and-switch. Azn cunt and my para exchanged white elephant gifts. My para got a nice bottle of wine. When my para wasn't looking the azn cunt switched out the good wine for one of the cheap ones they put on every table. When my paralegal confronted the cunt she replied, "You were drunk, you didn't even notice." I'm convinced she's a sociopath.
Date: August 28th, 2015 1:42 AM Author: Chocolate ratface
I get a base salary around $2,300 net a month and then 23% of everything my para and I bring in. I'll proabably make $80K this year, work 50-60 hours per week, no holidays or weekends. I'm really happy except for this drama, but I have to admit I love drama. Makes life interesting.
Date: August 29th, 2015 8:34 PM Author: Chocolate ratface
I begged my boss to cancel the meeting, but he refuses. He keeps trying to reassure me everything is fine, he expects both sides to fully air their grievances. I said there has to be a better way then setting up a ten on two conference room confrontation. Couldn't sway him so it is back to Plan Verbal Assault. It is going to be brutal.
The highlight will be when I go into how the azn cunt is hiding behind a facacde of chrisitianity, but that I see her for the sociopath, hypocrite, and liar she really is. She thinks pretending to be a christian makes her bogus claims of being offended more credible. And so on.
The office manager recently had to have his computer replaced because it was so infected with viruses it could not be repaired. He always keeps his office door locked. Why does he keep his door locked? I suspect that and the computer viruses are related. My guess is that our office manager is addicted to internet porn and he's too busy locked in his office, doing who knows what, to realize how the azn cunt is manipulating him into her scheme to get me fired.
Date: August 29th, 2015 9:14 PM Author: Purple really tough guy wrinkle
people still get viruses? use macs or run linux on your PCs. or just.. use avast antivirus. TTT boomers. stop opening up aol chainmail FW FW FW .exe attachments
Date: August 29th, 2015 9:15 PM Author: Massive disturbing set
moar details
who is on hr cunt's team?
how the fuck are there so many hr people in ur firm?
what are they going to complain about? just the comptuer thing?
this sounds awful but tbf i could see u being a jerk to ppl u dont like. but not dealing with it privately and scheduling a meeting deserves the death penalty