2. 4.0/4.0 undergrad/law but drank Belushi style the entire time.

3. 6'4"

4. Ex-model girlfriend has a BMI of like 16.

5. Is buddies with Bill Ackman and GC of Pershing Square, could work there if he had felt like pursuing it.

6. Studied for the bar for less than two weeks with nothing but a CMR that he "committed to memory" in a single weekend. Got drunk at lunch during the exam (he has witnesses!) still scored over 170 on the MBE.

7. Knows senior WLRK partners.

8. Teaches law school classes as an adjunct.

9. Can down a handle of 100 proof liquor in a single evening without puking.

What an awesome guy. I really look up to him and wish I was more like him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#23857171)

he was (along with baron von metal or whatever, and denecrane and stabby and some others of that ilk) a kind of the "fucked another guy's gf, feel SOOO guilty" threads e.g. http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1586389&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25613794)

Liquor is 101 proof.

Never claimed 4.0/4.0.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#23860482)

not like the guy is 5'9" or anything, but he has deluded himself into thinking he is the literal and figurative height of prestige at 6'2".

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25364887)

So mami, best advice is just get on this CA

Have you ever "tried" sex with a dcpoast?

Put the pussy on trial, Areopagus

Now she bragging that my dick like Snuffleupagus

Head of the class, bet she bake some scholarship

I'm living in the future so the present is my past

My brokeback is a blessing fuck my ass

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#24021328)

Poast when it's lights out

Sleep 'til it's bright out

Oh just another lonely day

Are you willing to poast your life away?

[Intro 2 - bloodacre]

Bitch, I'm a poaster, no-good cock sucker

Fat motherfucker -- now look who got heart trouble

As you cum up to my room all you hear is bass licks,

All you see is great dicks, and posters of great Knicks

[Chorus TBD]

[Verse 1 - askav]

The best active or retired hands down huh

(By the way, this is askav right now huh)

And my threads more re(a)d than the devil is

And I'm about to take it to another level, bitch

No matter who else you forget

Ain't nobody poast like this

Do the screed and the rap, do the dips with no assists

And my only focus is staying on some bogus shit

Arguing with my older bitch, acting like I owe her shit

I heard people 'mirin' Spackler's swollen traps mayne

But the squat rack always give me back pain

Fucking up my interviews so yeah I had to act sane

Chi lawyer but Bay hoes love my accent

Meghan chatted me and said

"This the number to dial

If you wanna make your #1 your #2 now"

Mix that dino DNA and call her clever-boo, yah

Cot damn, aktp, hit them with a new style

Force that motherfuckin meme, with the hummingbird crew now

Chick a cherry chipwich, gosh it's almost cool now

Cream a yearning dry disc, but IFNB's the new now

Think you HBO'd pumos really really need to cool out

'Cuz Trayvon'll never get on top of this, etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#24021382)

LY

SHIT

dude, this is really, really, really good

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#24021394)

http://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2539958&mc=39&forum_id=2#25364540

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25364560)

The average American male is overweight and has a 40 inch chest, but you were leaner with a 50 incher even though you dieted shittily to get there. Makes sense.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25364695)

(RSF)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25364595)

Brother I believe in you, that's why I posted that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25364605)

Washington&Lee ==> GS/MS/BS/Lehmen analyst ==> UVA law + law review + summa ==> COA clerk ==> 300 pound 10th year associate who drinks 1/5ths of alcohol like they were sprite, regularly bills 3200 hours, owns several exotic cars, lives (or lived) in a doublewide trailer for a number of years and has never taken a vacation in his entire time practicing law

i mean if even one other person at your firm read xo you'd be outed for sure, but i guess luck has been on your side. (other than the whole N O B R E A K F A S T thing)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25364853)

Somehow manages to keep up with plenty of outside interests like sports and automobile hobby despite billing 3500 hrs a year

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25364599)

Billing 3.5k isn't really that unbelievable of a claim *if* you treat weekends like weekdays and never take a vacation.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25364610)

Brother there are probably *at least* a dozen people who work at Susman Godfrey who bill 3.3k-3.5k in any given year. That's just one relatively small firm. The legal profession is filled with people like this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25364676)

because susman really, really wants 40 year old alcoholic MVP grads who have been doing shitend biglaw grinding in philly for the last decade.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25364706)

i.sod runk right npw. Has fifh o trky whle i wa$ht p-car now writ repy brif MJS tomor.w

the problem was, he later said that he only posted from his iphone, which would auto correct many words, and certainly would not have allowed drunkard to write the various one-letter-off words that he used so his writing was legible but "affected." for a while drunkard would just say "i don't know MAN my iphone just works like that maybe it's because i have the original iphone not 3/4/5 whatever i'm drunkard"

apparently he's now realized that you actually can turn autocorrect off, so he has changed his story (as above) to claim that he went into his settings and purposefully turned autocorrect off. i mean i guess we're also supposed to disregard the fact that his typing is now perfectly fine, even though his alcohol consumption has not changed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25364928)

http://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1665386&mc=23&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25613914)

would be pretty funny if 3900 hour biller drunkard is actually the shitmod frantically refreshing xo all day.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25364896)

"He's a good comedian but he's also funny"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#25371277)

nevermind that the ACLU doesn't even really do that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#26588313)

https://forums.lr4x4.com/topic/14134-farm-jack-1-little-finger-nil/page/2/?tab=comments#comment-149961

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#40366743)

https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5724902&mc=25&forum_id=2#48936058

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2338471&forum_id=2#48936103)