The most prestigious law school admissions discussion board in the world.
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Johnsmeyer calling Suze Orman w/ "Scream" voice distorter
| internet-worthy house-broken factory reset button | 06/11/14 |
| medicated preventive strike | 06/11/14 |
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:36 PM Author: internet-worthy house-broken factory reset button (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733527) |
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: medicated preventive strike You should've been a comedy writer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733532) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: violent coldplay fan idiot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733535) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:39 PM Author: at-the-ready blathering telephone codepig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733537) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: medicated preventive strike Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are."
*very long pause*
Robot/monster voice: " five nine" |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: at-the-ready blathering telephone codepig LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733551) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:41 PM Author: internet-worthy house-broken factory reset button laughing & convlusing & foamign at mouth at work lmfao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733555) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 3:56 PM Author: greedy locale (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619755) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:59 PM Author: Big boiling water (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733697) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 12:11 AM Author: burgundy passionate indian lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733775) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:22 PM Author: medicated preventive strike (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738401) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: Vigorous opaque goal in life school cafeteria (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738402) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: Narrow-minded sandwich garrison (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738403) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:36 PM Author: Self-centered wine location legal warrant holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738512) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:38 PM Author: Sinister slimy depressive Holy shit screaming/vomiting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738527) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 8:23 PM Author: medicated preventive strike JFC (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25739208) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:10 PM Author: Big boiling water i really dont know why but this cracks me the eff up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25743978) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:22 PM Author: at-the-ready blathering telephone codepig Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-sequitur of a question that hits at the linchpin of Johnsmeyer's tragic character: his height. Who knows why that has come up? Maybe PAYE? Maybe estate planning re a farm with gold statues? Maybe what to do with his minor league performance bonus? So we get a brilliant start.
Then we get stuck in the long pause purgatory, but it's a good purgatory. We know what might happen next and on first read, 8 times out of 10 we'll guess correctly. But during the long pause your anticipation wells up. You can envision Johnsmeyer nervously fumbling with the Scream robot voice machine pressed against an old landline phone with a curly cord that's way, way too long in a dark Manhattan basement closet apartment, thinking of whether to answer truthfully and whether the Scream robot voice machine is actually working to cover his identity. It's not that he's weird, he's just shy, a little embarrassed and wants anonymity. It's really absurd, but you give the little guy the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't hang up out of fear while pissing his pants. Besides, chances are he already pissed his pants after the big Suze asked him about his relationship status, which prompted him to look up at an out of focus picture of some girl named Dutchess that's the only thing on his otherwise bare windowless walls.
You see all this in the long pause which is then pierced by the Scream robot voice as it responds "five nine" which is hilarious because it's earnestly delivered in such an bizarre manner. You can hear the voice clearly in your head while envisioning Johnsmeyer in his apartment and Suze and her producers in the studio wondering wtf kind of savant is on the other end of the line. But it's doubly hilarious because we all know Johnsy boy is really five seven, on a good day. |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:25 PM Author: medicated preventive strike TY FOR YOUR SERVICE (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744029) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:29 PM Author: medicated preventive strike (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744049) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:30 PM Author: burgundy passionate indian lodge Poast of the year (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744051) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:31 PM Author: out-of-control pervert this is scholarship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744053) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:32 PM Author: Big boiling water Loool 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744063) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:35 PM Author: learning disabled silver cuckold suze orman keeping steady, unconcerned eye contact into the camera during the pause (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744079) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:42 PM Author: Twisted dark roommate I read this with the Charlie Kelly voice (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744101) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:53 PM Author: Self-centered wine location legal warrant whoa (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744164) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:59 PM Author: Vigorous opaque goal in life school cafeteria (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744191) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:33 PM Author: dashing nubile mad cow disease hunting ground (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25745855) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 10:55 PM Author: internet-worthy house-broken factory reset button (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25746687) |
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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:47 PM Author: dashing nubile mad cow disease hunting ground (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27315083) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:04 PM Author: Cracking gold orchestra pit travel guidebook 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619800) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM Author: brindle pontificating alpha (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28487531) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 11:57 PM Author: Embarrassed To The Bone Odious Dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28488640) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: indigo personal credit line dopamine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489891) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: vermilion meetinghouse lol you're like the judge who wrote the Pepsi Points opinion from 1L contracts (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489907) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:39 AM Author: Galvanic shitlib sweet tailpipe How did I miss this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489936) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 10:43 AM Author: sooty spectacular turdskin bawdyhouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28490163) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:33 PM Author: federal menage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28491214) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:34 PM Author: Onyx dog poop mother (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28491223) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:56 PM Author: multi-colored antidepressant drug there is some true comedic talent on this bort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28497490) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:59 PM Author: Doobsian Brunch Jew lol damn dude, nice work (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28497522) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:05 AM Author: federal menage the real important part is that this only took 12 minutes to write (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924462) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:39 AM Author: concupiscible plum candlestick maker curly phone cord that's way too long really hit home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924483) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:44 PM Author: self-absorbed sanctuary (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29207618) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:48 PM Author: Mind-boggling pisswyrm (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29207642) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:19 PM Author: brindle pontificating alpha (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29401582) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:24 PM Author: Embarrassed To The Bone Odious Dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29401618) |
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Date: March 14th, 2016 12:56 AM Author: Chrome stag film jewess (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30051818) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:10 PM Author: indigo personal credit line dopamine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30594657) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:17 PM Author: misanthropic arousing forum (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30594696) |
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Date: July 24th, 2016 9:14 AM Author: burgundy passionate indian lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#31014517) |
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Date: November 29th, 2016 6:59 PM Author: Hairraiser multi-billionaire business firm (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#32018277) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2017 8:48 AM Author: copper appetizing theater crotch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#33453658) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2017 12:59 PM Author: sickened provocative step-uncle's house puppy ljl at anyone who says this place hasn't gone downhill with all the politics and crypto spam (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#33463157) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: offensive maize kitty cat church building (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#37381941) |
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Date: January 29th, 2018 10:12 PM Author: electric kitty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#35273685) |
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Date: May 13th, 2018 9:50 PM Author: Titillating misunderstood shrine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#36044055) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: offensive maize kitty cat church building (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#37381939) |
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Date: June 25th, 2019 4:51 AM Author: contagious juggernaut this poa was clearly made w/ genuine love (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#38436191) |
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Date: December 25th, 2019 5:59 PM Author: at-the-ready blathering telephone codepig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39324796) |
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Date: December 30th, 2019 8:37 PM Author: dashing nubile mad cow disease hunting ground this is the best poast on xo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39352602) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 5:38 PM Author: sapphire ticket booth faggot firefighter (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39529036) |
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Date: June 26th, 2020 5:32 PM Author: Insane trust fund fortuitous meteor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#40501651) |
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Date: March 27th, 2021 12:19 AM Author: Supple goyim (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#42172476) |
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Date: June 15th, 2021 9:43 PM Author: canary maniacal water buffalo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#42634165) |
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Date: June 21st, 2024 6:27 PM Author: at-the-ready blathering telephone codepig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#47767334) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:12 PM Author: Fragrant Thirsty Milk (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25743993) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 4:12 PM Author: razzle-dazzle lake pit Suze purses her lips, furrows her brow and nods her head sympathetically. She says 'Wellll...' in a manner indicating that she won't be able to provide any helpful advice.
*Audible click from phone, then dial tone*
Suze: "Well it looks like we lost 'Duke' from New York".
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:22 PM Author: medicated preventive strike (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25745763) |
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Date: June 21st, 2014 3:09 PM Author: Mauve insanely creepy sex offender (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25790620) |
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