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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
Aromatic heaven sneaky criminal
  04/24/15
...
Idiotic Brethren
  04/24/15
...
Tan Depressive
  04/24/15
...
up-to-no-good hairless area
  04/24/15
did this today
vivacious plaza
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
Wild silver patrolman den
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Know-it-all Stag Film
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
bearded laser beams
  10/22/15
...
navy school
  10/22/15
...
Word combinations
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
sooty cerebral locus turdskin
  10/22/15
...
Aromatic heaven sneaky criminal
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
Henna cracking nibblets range
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
Aromatic heaven sneaky criminal
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
Henna cracking nibblets range
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
Aromatic heaven sneaky criminal
  05/16/16
...
Copper stage idea he suggested
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
Passionate becky
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
Umber Piazza
  12/28/16
...
Copper stage idea he suggested
  11/11/20
...
pontificating red lodge
  07/26/24
...
Paralegal Adolf Hitler
  10/08/25


Poast new message in this thread



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Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: Aromatic heaven sneaky criminal

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751704)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: Idiotic Brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Tan Depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: up-to-no-good hairless area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: vivacious plaza

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: Wild silver patrolman den

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Know-it-all Stag Film

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: bearded laser beams

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022609)



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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: navy school



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Word combinations (2 make yer heart skip)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: sooty cerebral locus turdskin

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: Aromatic heaven sneaky criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: Henna cracking nibblets range

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: Aromatic heaven sneaky criminal

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: Henna cracking nibblets range

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: Aromatic heaven sneaky criminal

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Copper stage idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250208)



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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: Passionate becky

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Umber Piazza

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Copper stage idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#41347456)



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Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: pontificating red lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#47895234)



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Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Paralegal Adolf Hitler (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#49335487)