The most prestigious law school admissions discussion board in the world.
|
 |
 
|
SA question please (before JBD starts spamming)
Poast new message in this thread
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:06 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library [THREAD CLOSED - RESULTS BELOW]
Original thread OP:
You know how when you hang out with coworkers off-work, there is the risk that the conversation or events will go to a place that will make it harder to work with them?
In other words, when someone's just a coworker you view them differently than you would if you hang out with them personally.
On the other hand, you rarely gain respect for a coworker by hanging out with them.
So my question is, isn't hanging out after work really detrimental to the working relationship? If so, shouldn't you basically never hang out with coworkers except at the mandatory firm events (which isn't really hanging out after work, as everyone acts like they would at work.)
- - - - -
Results:
1. Dark Knight, the guy who repeatedly bemoans his inability to get a job posted. He proclaimed his awesome networking and relationship building skills and explained how he's always gone to happy hour at all his part time jobs. He then angrily attacked me with not just his DK, but five other monikers. Exact same writing style. Same angry insults. Pretty obvious why no employer will bump him from PT to FT. Confirms the OP.
2. A slew of IP people (Medea, Ironmonkey, some of the other asian IP posters) proclaimed their love of human relationships, and how they just love everything about people. Medea proudly stated that she always asks a personal question before asking a work question. A more tragic example of overcompensation I could not imagine. Of course their responses included the angry bitterness which put them into IP in the first place. Really quite a sad spectacle. Please treat your IP people better. Their posts weren't really related to the OP so I'm going to call them a tie.
3. Fulano wrote from the perspective of someone with years of moderate success at work. Confirms the OP.
4. Rowan, a.k.a. "that alcoholic chick" at work, boasted about all the gossip she's privy to. When I inquired it turned out to be "gossip" about her firm's financial viability. I guess she's hoping this "gossip" will do at her new firm, what it couldn't do at her prior firm. Confirms the OP.
5. T7Stud, possibly the most hated person on xo, claimed to have a master plan where by he would use happy hours to manipulate the entire office with his charm. You should read it below. It's quite hilarious. Confirms the OP.
All in all it's 4-0-1 for the OP, which I think has been pretty conclusively established. |
 |
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:16 AM Author: fantasy-prone abusive knife gas station I think thats a super philosophy, that way you could go through your whole life never really knowing anybody (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997422) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:19 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library I think you mean "never really knowing [the people you work with.]"
Why do I need to "really know" the people I work with? Their personal lives are none of my business. For example, how does me knowing that you take dicks in your ass help us to work together? Seriously. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:00 AM Author: fantasy-prone abusive knife gas station Oh, you arrogant shit! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997477) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:04 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library ? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997490) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:09 AM Author: fantasy-prone abusive knife gas station My wife used to fart when she was nervous. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997505) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:43 AM Author: know-it-all generalized bond love of her life people call these things imperfections, but no, that's the good stuff (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997718) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:49 PM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend why don't you start dating again? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997897) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 1:40 PM Author: know-it-all generalized bond love of her life your move, chief (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9998114) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:32 AM Author: know-it-all generalized bond love of her life i gotta go see about a girl (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997438) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:48 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend its not your fault (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997457) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:42 AM Author: know-it-all generalized bond love of her life don't fuck with me, sean. not you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997716) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:47 PM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend its not your fault, son (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997888) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 8:50 PM Author: Effete mental disorder http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=837959&mc=7&forum_id=2 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=834567&mc=8&forum_id=2 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=833040&mc=2&forum_id=2 http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=834825&mc=3&forum_id=1 http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=775221&mc=2&forum_id=2 http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=622342&mc=75&forum_id=2 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=795218&mc=13&forum_id=2 http://abovethelaw.com/images/IravaniComplaint.pdf http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=820748&mc=35&forum_id=2 http://www.plastic.com/comments.html;sid=07/06/18/13135009;cid=28 http://www.haloscan.com/comments/atrios/117330346872813285 http://dockets.justia.com/browse/state-pennsylvania/court-paedce/noscat-3/nos-360 http://www.biglawboard.com/blb/viewThread.jsp?threadId=24875&x=2 http://dockets.justia.com/browse/state-pennsylvania/noscat-3/nos-360
|
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:35 PM Author: costumed adventurous stag film I think that's a good philosophy for a summer associate. When you start working at a firm though and it is a more long term thing, you will be miserable if you don't make some friends at work no matter how many outside of work friends you may have.
That said, hanging out with all your coworkers would be a mistake. You want most of your coworkers to view you only as a professional. Take time to seek out those that seem really cool and make friends with them. You want to make especially sure that the people you make friends with at work are really good about keeping their mouths shut. You wouldn't want the details of your inappropriate bender weekend getting around the entire office. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:18 AM Author: pea-brained mustard voyeur it sounds like you shouldn't hang out with coworkers because they will realize you are an asshole. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997425) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:20 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Why would you say that? Seems assholish on your part. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997428) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:22 AM Author: pea-brained mustard voyeur SEE: "In other words, when someone's just a coworker you view them differently than you would if you hang out with them personally.
On the other hand, you rarely gain respect for a coworker by hanging out with them. " |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:24 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Describe a situation where hanging out after work resulted in increased respect for them as professionals. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997434) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:59 AM Author: Tantric carmine factory reset button when you see that they can relax and arent robots? When you see how they build relationships with people? You sound like a REAL FUN GUY. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997474) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:00 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend credited, after a happy hour event everyone fucking loved me (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997478) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:07 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library You just said you've worked in numerous places, gone to happy hours repeatedly each time, and never gotten an offer. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997500) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:11 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend i did pt work at law firms working as a file clerk or errand boy. never did a internship. i didnt consider becoming a paralegal unless i was desperate which i might getting to soon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997511) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:05 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library You needed confirm that someone can relax? And are you looking to get married? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997494) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:10 AM Author: Tantric carmine factory reset button i dont need shit. you are the one that needs to be convinced that its a good thing to get to know your coworkers outside of work. fucking douchebag. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997509) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:14 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Relax. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997522) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:16 AM Author: Tantric carmine factory reset button i get pissed off just imagining that i could possibly be working with you, ever, in the future. though i suppose you exist in every workplace, so its inevitable. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997526) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:18 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library So you're kind of an angry psycho. See I didn't need to know that. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997531) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:20 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend ya but unless that guy does awesome work he/she is usually the first one laid off (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997536) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:22 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Do you mind not clogging my thread? I was really looking for people with a history of full time employment. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997543) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:23 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry I have a history of full time employment. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997548) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:24 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend i have a history of pt employment but i just graduated from college (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997552) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:23 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend i got nothing else to do besides you seem like the shy, awkward type and i wanna help you out (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997549) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:27 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library You can help me by not being a bore and leaving. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997560) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:29 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend you should like the bore, friend. why are you afraid of social interaction? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997565) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:31 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Dear lord I feel bad for the people who had to sit with you before your employers fired you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997571) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:41 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend never got fired. i always left for more money (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997588) |
|
Date: July 24th, 2008 8:20 PM Author: Shaky hairraiser stain http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=834825&mc=3&forum_id=1 http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=836554&mc=44&forum_id=1 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=834567&mc=8&forum_id=2 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=837959&mc=7&forum_id=2 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AutoAdmit http://www.haloscan.com/comments/atrios/117330346872813285 http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=775221&mc=2&forum_id=2 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=775221&mc=1&forum_id=2 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=735470&mc=163&forum_id=2 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=833924&mc=5&forum_id=2 http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=592823&mc=7&forum_id=2 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=622342&mc=66&forum_id=2 http://abovethelaw.com/images/IravaniComplaint.pdf http://www.abovethelaw.com/2008/03/breaking_anthony_ciolli_goes_o.php http://www.biglawboard.com/blb/viewThread.jsp?threadId=24875&x=2 http://dockets.justia.com/search?q=MARK+ROSS http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=837948&mc=5&forum_id=2 http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=829700&mc=1&forum_id=2 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=628033&mc=21&forum_id=2 http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=779132&mc=20&forum_id=2 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=591603&forum_id=2 www.encyclopediadramatica.com/AutoAdmit http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=820748&mc=39&forum_id=2 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=798510&mc=1&forum_id=2 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838299&mc=1&forum_id=2 http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=837948&mc=5&forum_id=2 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=837959&mc=13&forum_id=2
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:28 AM Author: Infuriating cruise ship They may actually put in a good word for you if you're worried about getting dinged in this economy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997437) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:44 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library They could just as likely, if not more likely, put in a bad word. That's kind of the point of the OP. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997455) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:01 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend if you are a complete retard and cannot interact with people then ya that will happen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997479) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:10 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Or you could be the retard who doesn't catch on that he's made things worse.
Have you considered the possibility that the OP is why you've worked numerous jobs, gone out with coworkers in each one, and never found time employment?
|
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:14 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend again i never wanted to work as a paralegal so its a moot point (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997520) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:10 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry Not unless you puke all over them or are autistic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997508) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:13 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Actually, it's the autistic types who can't catch on to this stuff. If you think puking on someone is the only way to annoy them then you've probably annoyed a lot of people. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997518) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:22 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry Yes, because that was meant to be an exhaustive list.
|
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:25 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library I'm just saying social interaction is very nuanced. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997554) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:26 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry Yes, I am well aware. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997557) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:50 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend just don't get so wasted that you start sexually assaulting your coworkers. thats not cool and makes for a awkward workplace. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997461) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:56 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Aren't you the pol sci major who keeps posting about how you can't find any sort of employment? Why are you providing advice on a topic you have no experience with? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997470) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:59 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend i currently have pt work and every place i have worked we have gone out for drinks after work. normally, i am the one coordinating these happy hour events (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997475) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:01 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Your experiences kind of confirm the OP. Why not spend a little less time going out after work, and a little more time doing work? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997482) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:04 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend ya, it takes like a second to shoot out a email saying: 'Happy Hour after work at ____' (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997489) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:06 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library You realize they didn't hire you for happy hour right?
Why are you so interested in happy hour? Why don't you just do your job? |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:09 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend i do my job and we go out after work.
do you not get invited to these and hence the bitterness? |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:11 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library I'm just saying OP might be the reason no one wants to hire you.
|
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:13 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend no, i worked at law firms and never wanted to work as a paralegal or go to law school. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997516) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:45 AM Author: cocky spruce senate trump supporter you sound like a real foreskin. killself, loser. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997727) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:09 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry It helps you create and maintain connections with people. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997503) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:12 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library I mean with coworkers. People with whom you already have working relationships. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997515) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:14 AM Author: Tantric carmine factory reset button you dont really get "people", do you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997519) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:20 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&mc=43&forum_id=2#9997531
Also can you go away? |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:22 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry Getting to know them better as people helps you maintain a good working relationship. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997542) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:24 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library How? As in you think that you're friends now and so they'll cover up for your mistakes or whatever? Because that kind of stuff doesn't happen in competitive offices.
Also note the risk of it harming your working relationship, as stated in the OP. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:28 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend not among the staff plus if you have a hot co-worker you might be able to get in her pants (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997562) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:29 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Based on your comments in this thread I think it's obvious why you're unemployed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997564) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:30 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend i am the bore?!?!
my friend, you sound shy. are you asian? |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:30 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry It's not easy to define. For me, I'd say it developed a sense of "team" and got me to see what the person was outside of the office. You could realize you have more things in common with them. I also met my spouse and created a pretty good network this way.
As long as you know how to behave in a social environment, there should be little risk of harming your working relationship. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:35 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library I still don't see what that has to do with working with the person. The only advantage is a belief that they'll "cover for you" which again is a false belief in competitive work environments. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997580) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:39 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry In a collaborative work environment, I find it easier to work with someone if I know more about them outside of work. For instance, before I ask someone a question, I'll ask how Little Tommy liked their soccer game that weekend or whatever.
Engineering and patent law both seem to be such work environments. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:42 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Why not just ask them the question about work? Are you afraid they'll purposely give you a less helpful answer if you don't ask about the soccer game? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997593) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:46 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry No, I just like building connections with people. It's difficult to explain, really. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997600) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:55 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library So you do it because you like it, not because it's necessarily good for work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997615) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:56 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry For me, it's both. For you, that may not be the case. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997619) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:01 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library This is kind of the point. The OP wasn't about how you perceive things, it was how your coworkers perceive things.
You may be surprised to learn that your coworkers don't want you prying into their personal lives every time you have a question about work. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:02 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry Except they themselves told me about this when we were out at Happy Hour last week.
The antisocial types either won't show up for anything or won't talk about anything. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:06 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library So someone told you they were happy that you asked them about their son's soccer game. I see. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997633) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:08 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry No, they told me about their son's soccer game themselves, therefore I figure they don't mind being asked about soccer. People often share their interests and hobbies with you when you see them in a social situation. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997636) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:14 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Just an FYI. If someone tells you something about their home life, that doesn't mean they want you asking about it every time you have a question about work.
It's almost as if you keep an index card of everything people tell you, so you can ask them about it as a prelude to a work question. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:18 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry I think you misunderstand. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997655) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:20 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Alright. Well thanks for your input in this thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997659) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:42 AM Author: brilliant contagious national security agency shrine "You may be surprised to learn that your coworkers don't want you prying into their personal lives every time you have a question about work."
You, apparently, are suprised to find that many coworkers enjoy livening up the office with non-work-related discussion, interaction.
This is normal. That you can't seem to understand this does, though, confirm that you in particular probably shouldn't hang out with coworkers in a non-work context. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:49 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Sheesh with the IP/Tax people overcompensating in this thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997736) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:50 AM Author: Cyan resort And these law student people, and corporate people, and normal people... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997740) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:53 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library So far the only people disagreeing were your 4 angry monikers, two IP people and Rowan.
It's really odd that you can't leave. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:56 AM Author: brilliant contagious national security agency shrine And the only person to concur with you is fulano.
So, every actual attorney disagrees with you.
BTW, why are "IP people" not valid sources of information. I could understand if you're talking about patent prosecutors (though I think that's misguided as well), but litigators?
|
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:57 AM Author: Cyan resort He thinks they're just as socially-retarded as he is, yet even they understand the value of human relationships. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997765) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:59 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library There's that anger again. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997771) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:01 PM Author: Cyan resort It's more pity than anger. Thanks for playing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997776) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:09 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library The only good thing is you've been repeatedly fired. The world works. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997801) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:05 PM Author: Cyan resort I've never been fired from a job in my life. I'm not any of the other people on this thread, hth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9999569) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:58 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library "why are "IP people" not valid sources of information"
Yeah. Don't worry about it. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:02 PM Author: brilliant contagious national security agency shrine Ok, dude. I'm sure you're an expert. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997781) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:56 AM Author: Cyan resort I'm not any of those other people. I think the fundamental problem is that you can't understand human interaction. You don't seem to believe more than one person here can understand networking or the value of relationships. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997760) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:57 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Sure you just happen to write exactly like them.
On your way now. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:39 AM Author: brilliant contagious national security agency shrine You seem to be really reluctant to accept the idea that getting to know someone in a non-professional setting could help your relationship with that person.
Why is that? |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:42 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Actually the OP was about working relationships, but I'm not really interested in the opinions of tax/IP people as you guys seem to be overcompensating just a tad bit. So your input won't be necessary today. Thank you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997714) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:45 AM Author: brilliant contagious national security agency shrine I didn't realize you only wanted input that confirmed your OP.
Good luck getting any of that. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:49 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Actually what I said was I didn't want input from IP/Tax people, for obvious reasons. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997737) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:51 AM Author: Cyan resort Did you notice no one on this thread agreed with you? I don't think they're all IP/Tax people. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997741) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:56 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Well, your 4 angry monikers and two IP people. Fulano agreed with the OP.
So why can't you leave? Just close the thread and don't come back. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:58 AM Author: Cyan resort why should I? it's fun laughing at the Asperger's dude.
Nice latching on to what a self-professed catty fag thinks, btw. I don't notice him here sticking up for you, either. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:03 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library There's that anger. Relax. This is why you can't get ft employment.
Stay if you wan't. I guess I can't force you to leave. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:13 AM Author: laughsome business firm genital piercing Getting to know coworkers is a horrible idea. 1. they are uniformly awful people. 2. you get drawn into retarded office politics and dramatic situations stirred up by said monsters. 3. people who know you notice when you arent there/arrive late, etc |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:15 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Wisdom from someone with actual office experience. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997524) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:25 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry 1. Not in my experience 2. It's easy to ignore 3. So? |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:28 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Where did you work exactly? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997563) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:32 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry A couple of engineering jobs and an IP boutique. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997572) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:34 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library So you've had three jobs? Doesn't that kind of confirm the OP? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997576) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:35 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry I'm "older" and have been out of undergrad for a while.
Edit: Plus, nobody stays at one job forever. Building a network is always a good thing. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:37 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library How old are you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997581) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:39 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry 30 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997585) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:43 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library And you're a 2L right. So what's that like 2 years at each job? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997596) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:48 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry About 3-4 at each engineering job. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997602) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:51 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library And then you switched fields. In all fairness you're not really the model of career success. Right? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997608) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:52 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry How so? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997610) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:56 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Well, like why didn't you advance into a management or partner (whatever the engineering equivalent is) type position at your first firm? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997617) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:59 AM Author: tripping provocative dingle berry I personally don't think I'd like management. At most, I'd want to be a technical lead.
You kind of have to let them know you're interested in management (at least where I've worked). They're not just going to put you in that. They'll keep giving you more technical responsibility, though. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:04 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Not really the point, but any way. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997628) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:17 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend the op is cfd so this thread is worthless since he works at a dry cleaning store (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997527) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:20 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Now that you've said your piece you can move on. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997537) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:41 AM Author: shimmering floppy plaza It's like this: If you're likeable, competent, and a halfway decent human being, odds are your coworkers will like you more if you hang out with them and will support you and respect you more.
If you are the sort of douche who arouses only disrepsect and dislike in those around you, than yes, obviously it would be best to avoid close coworker relations whenever possible. It's a simple cost v. benefit analysis. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 10:49 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library I gathered that it's a cost/benefit analysis. The question was whether the risks outweigh the benefits.
I'm not sure why people couldn't like and respect you just by working with you. And as far as competence, I'm not sure how you prove that by hanging out after work.
And are you sure you should be deciding who's likeable? You've been posting on this board for a while so you kind of have a rep. Unless your xo persona is all schtick. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:01 PM Author: Cyan resort "I gathered that it's a cost/benefit analysis. The question was whether the risks outweigh the benefits. "
Obviously not for you. For people with social skill it is. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:14 AM Author: Cyan resort If you don't like hanging out with people, just turn down any invitations. They'll be able to tell that you're really not that into it, and it won't benefit you to force it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997644) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:17 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Based on the responses in this thread, it doesn't seem to benefit the people who are into it. Confirming the OP. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997650) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:22 AM Author: Cyan resort Dude, you come across as Asperger's. I don't think you understand the concept of human interaction or the value of building a network. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997663) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:25 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Are you that quick to anger psycho from before with a new moniker? Work on that. It's really offputting.
|
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:29 AM Author: Cyan resort No, I just don't know why you need an explanation of why someone wants to know their co-workers. If this isn't for you or something you'd enjoy, then that's cool. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997678) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:33 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Whatever. Just try not to blow up at people. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997691) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:38 AM Author: Cyan resort Um, I didn't blow up, dude. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997703) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:39 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Um, "dude," do you mind blowing out of this thread, with all your monikers? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997705) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:41 AM Author: Cyan resort Is it that hard for you to believe there's more than one person on xoxo who understands the value of human relationships? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997709) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:47 AM Author: brilliant contagious national security agency shrine Actually, that is kind of hard to believe. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997733) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:19 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School People favor people they know personally. They think of them first for assignments, cover for them, tell them secrets. It's human instinct - we're loyal to our families, our friends and our tribes, roughly in that order. Better to be a friend than a coworker. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997657) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:23 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library This is probably what most people thing, but it's a fallacy. This false belief that people who you thought were your friends would "cover for you" and "help you" is probably why you only lasted 2 years at a V10.
First of all, what you describe is corruption by definition. Organizations can't survive if tribal behavior is rewarded over competence. As far as telling coworkers secrets, that's just really a bad idea. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:24 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School What do you base this belief of yours on? Have you even had a job?
You don't want to tell your coworkers secrets, but it's nice to hear them. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:27 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library "You don't want to tell your coworkers secrets, but it's nice to hear them."
So you're basically storing secrets to use against people. You're a great friend. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:32 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School Not to use against them. Secrets about what's going on in the firm or on the deal, rather than information on an as-needed basis. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997685) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:36 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Give us an example. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997698) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:40 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School Business issues motivating the redraft, which partner brought in the business even if he's not working on the deal, how various departments are doing compared to each other, how stable the firm's business is. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997707) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:45 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Those aren't considered secrets where I work but any way. I guess each firm is different. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997724) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:46 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School If you're all business, people aren't going to bother keeping you on the phone long enough to tell you any of those things. You'll know you need to turn the draft by tomorrow, and that's about it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997730) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:51 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library That information isn't really secret, or particularly valuable. I'm not sure why you want to hear it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997743) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:52 AM Author: Cyan resort lol
flame |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:55 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School I'm getting the feeling you've never had a job before. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997757) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:02 PM Author: Cyan resort No wai! :) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997779) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:04 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library So which of the things you listed was a secret? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997785) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:07 PM Author: Cyan resort You're funny (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997792) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:12 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library As I've told you repeatedly. I don't want to talk to you. It's pretty horrifying that you, a grown man, can't process that. Go away. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997807) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:07 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School All of it is information you're not going to hear if you're not friendly to people. Evaluations of the firm's financial stability (and hiring and people's compensation, etc.) may or may not be an actual secret, depending on how your firm is structured. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997793) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:12 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library So which was the secret? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997804) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:14 PM Author: brilliant contagious national security agency shrine Are you literate?
"Evaluations of the firm's financial stability (and hiring and people's compensation, etc.) may or may not be an actual secret, depending on how your firm is structured."
|
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:19 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library Actually you can help me with something else. I've told you and the other guy, repeatedly, that I wasn't interested in your input. If someone told me this I would close the thread. But why do you feel a need to keep posting in it? What's that about?
I'm just trying to understand. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:23 PM Author: brilliant contagious national security agency shrine "If someone told me this I would close the thread"
I'm not even sure what this means.
At any rate, at this point it's mainly a "get a cheap laugh at the idiot" value. It's kind of funny when you insult everyone who disagrees with you, and more people keep disagreeing with you.
However, I'm beginning to think this was just a flame thread.
|
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:26 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library It means you would get out of the thread. You'd "close" it.
You're never going to deal with your problem with that angry bitter attitude. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:36 PM Author: brilliant contagious national security agency shrine I'm neither angry nor bitter, and I'm not sure what "problem" you're talking about.
You asked for input, and rejected all input you've received while insulting the people who responded to your post.
It's funny to see you lash out at responders in youre more and more desperate attempts to (a) support your theory and/or (b) keep this thread alive. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:49 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library Yeah you're not bitter and angry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997895) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:53 PM Author: brilliant contagious national security agency shrine I accept your apology. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997923) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:57 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library Communication through the eyes of an IP guy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997945) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:14 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School Read the above post again, it contains the answer you seek. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997812) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:18 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library Well at my firm we're all fully up to date on revenue. We also know when someone's been hired. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997816) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:20 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School Do you know how many people they're planning to hire next year? Whether they're looking for laterals? Whether or not any of the partners are concerned about the outlook for next year? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997824) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:24 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library Yes. I really don't think those are secrets to people working at the firm. They're generally known to many people not working there. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997835) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:25 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School So what are the answers to the questions, oh wise summer associate? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997838) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:41 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library As far as getting an offer you'll know very quickly based on feedback and your mid summer review. As far as the firm's success it's easy to see when a firm is busy.
Getting that information 2nd hand from an unreliable source isn't a good idea. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:42 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School You're extremely shortsighted. When you actually have a job, you'll care about what's going to happen next year, not what's happening now or next month. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997874) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:51 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library I think you're wasting time worrying about stuff not under your control. I understand you don't want to be downsized again, but gossip isn't going to save you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997906) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:54 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School Enjoy not knowing about anything beyond your tiny pink office, dood. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997925) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:55 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library Enjoy your false sense of security. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997937) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:54 PM Author: brilliant contagious national security agency shrine Yeah, it's not like you can prepare for bad things if you know about them in advance. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997929) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:52 AM Author: Cyan resort "Those aren't considered secrets where I work but any way"
I don't think you work anywhere. Thanks for trying. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:31 AM Author: Cyan resort "First of all, what you describe is corruption by definition. Organizations can't survive if tribal behavior is rewarded over competence. "
It's called "networking," dude. This has been a concept in the business world since the sheep-fuckers started selling their sheep to somebody else 10,000 years ago. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:32 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School Yeah, bad organizations let it get out of control, but even good ones have it to some degree. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997689) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:37 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Ever figure out why your "tribe" let you down at your prior V10? You spent all that time "building relationships" and "networking" and they didn't give you any support when you had work concerns. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997700) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:40 AM Author: Cyan resort How do you know why she left?
From what I understand, people don't stay at one job until the day they die. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:42 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School I'm not actually much of a networker myself, that doesn't mean I don't recognize it has value.
I left because I didn't want to work that much. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:43 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library (to 147lbs) So have you developed the ability to completely tune out when people ask you to leave? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997719) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:45 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School I know it's hard for people to believe, but biglaw isn't everyone's idea of paradise. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997725) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:45 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library Ahh. That thing called work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997726) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:48 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School Yes, that thing called work. I'd rather not do it on the weekends, basically ever. That's kind of beyond what networking can resolve.
Other people prioritize different things, and more power to them. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:35 AM Author: Cerebral soggy library So how many monikers are you going to use in this thread?
Don't you think it's odd that you don't have the willpower to leave? |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:42 AM Author: Cyan resort See above. There is more than one non-autistic person on xoxo. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997715) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:49 AM Author: cocky spruce senate trump supporter If you have to start threads like this on an internet message board, I suggest you never have contact with any fellow employees except when delivering their mail.
You obviously lack any sort of human social skills or empathy if you can't understand why you'd want to hang out with some people from work. I'm not saying go crazy and make everyone your best friend, but it is good to have an ally in the office to assuage boredom, to keep informed of what's in the pipeline, to have someone to go to bat for you when you're not there, and just to meet people with similar interest (you both ended up at the same employer, you might have some common ground). I think the best situation at work is to be liked by all and known by few. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 11:55 AM Author: umber trip whorehouse old irish cottage Excellent post.
I was sorta with the OP from the jump -- before he revealed himself to be a complete social misfit -- in that I like to keep my work relationships separate from my personal relationships for the most part. But you're not going to succeed anywhere without an ally or two, at least one person you can go to to let off steam or bitch & moan when you feel the need, and one person with a bit of clout around the office who can put in a good word for you when necessary or have your back if you need someone to pick up your slack or cover for you in a pinch. "Liked by all and known by few" sounds like an ideal strategy. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:05 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School Yeah, I think both of those people are absolutely necessary. I'd add a similar-level associate who's willing to cover for you when work interferes with important personal things in return for you doing the same for them. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997787) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 9:27 PM Author: Cyan resort ""Liked by all and known by few" sounds like an ideal strategy"
I think this includes not being a total misfit and at least participating in occasional social things with work people. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:07 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library Why do you keep reacting with insults? I was hoping for people with options who could talk honestly about this, but it's mostly angry/IP/Tax people who want to overcompensate by singing the virtue of human relationship. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997796) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:09 PM Author: brilliant contagious national security agency shrine Who are the tax people?
People react with insults when you sling insults. This is another common feature of human interaction. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:14 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library No one is insulting you IP guy. The OP wasn't some secret way of attacking you. You're cool and everyone wants to hang out with you. Happy? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997813) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:25 PM Author: brilliant contagious national security agency shrine I am happy, but that is unrelated to your post.
|
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:12 PM Author: umber trip whorehouse old irish cottage overcompensate for what, exactly?
plus aren't IP/tax folks stereotypically *less* sociable than other attorneys? so it would stand to reason that if even these antisocial types are "singing the virtue of human relationship" then maybe you're the one who doesn't get how things work. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:19 PM Author: brilliant contagious national security agency shrine "plus aren't IP/tax folks stereotypically *less* sociable than other attorneys?"
He seems to be implying that, since IP/tax people are social retards, they are overcompensating for that defect by singing the praises of human interaction in this thread.
The more he posts, the more I think this whole thread was flame from the beginning. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:21 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library The fact that you got that puts you about 2 strata above some of the others in this thread. Maybe there's some hope for you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997827) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:22 PM Author: umber trip whorehouse old irish cottage oh. well that sounds like a strech, to say the least.
yeah i'm going back and looking over the thread, i agree this guy has to be flame. pretty well executed though, at least in terms of volume. 170+ posts. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:11 PM Author: boyish ladyboy titcr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997803) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:00 PM Author: hideous sanctuary Two years ago, during my first summer, we all went out to a non-firm event and one guy ended up getting really drunk, to the point where he was puking between parked cars on the street. While some of us tried to ignore him and some laughed at him, one guy bought him a bottle of water, dealt with the owner of the car he puked on, and took him home. I didn't lose all that much respect for the guy who puked in the street, and we were impressed by the other guy. Word got around, without the details of the story coming out, that he was a good guy to have on your side. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:20 PM Author: vibrant internal respiration This thread gets a solid 180. An instant xoxo classic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997826) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:21 PM Author: gaped twinkling uncleanness I find it CRITICAL to participate in happy hours, etc. from time-to-time.
First, you never know which way the wind will blow. You want a solid foundation of wide-ranging relationships within the company. Having drinks with a supervisor is always a good thing unless you are a sociall awkward fuck who might do something stupid.
Happy hours let you strategically craft a persona with minimal time, that suits your own needs and benefits your career. especially if you are a good empathetic listener, and the type of person who can reflect, if you make sure to rotate the people who you sit next to at these things, you can have everyone in the office convinced that you and them have a lot in common, and that you're someone they can especially trust. This is different from being the "popular guy" at the office. You don't want everyone knowing that everyone else considers you a special friend. You set yourself up for huge success if you can pull this off, because people really will do their best to cover for someone who they think they share a lot of similar bonds with.
With coworkers, actually even in a competitive environment, strong relationships will generally benefit you. First, if a person fucks up and are looking for a convenient scapegoat, even if you are at the right place at the wrong time, they are less likely to blame you if they like you. they will blame that arrogant asshole who never shows up to happy hours - the one who everyone thinks there is just something "off" with though they can't put their fingers on it. Second, if a great opportunity falls in their lap that they can't handle due to workload, or that they need a partner on, they will more likely ask if you're interested. If you have a good relationship you can turn down shitty work or requests for favors under various pretenses and the person will be more inclined to believe you e.g. other guy: "dude my mom just died can you cover for my projects this week?" You: oh my lord, I am so sorry man. I remember you saying last week when we were out that she wasn't doing well. My heart really goes out to you. I wish I could help you out, but that whole situation I was telling you about last week hasn't blown over yet i'm pretty much worthless until it is sorted out." (of course you never told him about any situation, but he's not going to act like he doesn't remember, when clearly YOU remembered HIS problems).
|
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:34 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library Your post is good so I'll respond to it. Your post both explains why people go to these things and why it's a bad idea.
As your post explains, you're going to these things to manipulate people. But the problem is they're doing the same thing with you, which is why it doesn't work, and only leads to problems.
Take your idea that people will "cover" for you at work. What's equally likely is they'll try to use the "personal relationship" to take advantage of you. That's going to lead to more problems than you would have if you were both just professional acquaintances. It's better if you both keep things professional so you don't waste time and energy on that zero sum game. Not to mention the political trouble you can get in if partners/senior management think you've formed a subtribe at the firm.
|
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:37 PM Author: boyish ladyboy Do you suffer from this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paranoid_personality_disorder |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:45 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library Anger and projection aren't to solve your problems. I'm not interested in helping you beyond that so kindly move on. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997878) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:41 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School But it's not a zero sum game. I'll use the example of two associates, not even anyone important. I place a high value on being able to take visiting relatives to the theater on Tuesday night, and a lower value on going home early on Friday. The associate down the hall places a high value on being able to leave early on Friday to go on a weekend trip, and almost no value on Tuesday night. What's the most efficient way to solve this problem? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997870) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:47 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library 1. Do you talk like this IRL? Just curious.
2. That sort of deal doesn't work because unless your firm is slow, neither of you will be able to predict your schedules this reliably. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:50 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School 1. Nope.
2. False, even in corporate work you sometimes know when there will be trouble. But even if it's an impromptu thing, you can predict if you'll be busy on a given evening. Guess what happens when someone like you sends an email on Friday morning looking for help? |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:54 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library It's these false predictions and lack of teamwork which foreclosed your success at the V10.
No one likes workers who decide when and who they'll work with. |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:56 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School There's a perfectly valid way of solving that problem - you skip your weekend trip and do your own work. A partner might intervene on your behalf...wait, you weren't building relationships with them either, and there's no business reason you shouldn't do the work yourself. So you're stuck in the office. Have fun. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997938) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:58 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library Out of curiosity, why are you so against work any way? Not like you have a husband/boyfriend/life. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997951) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 1:01 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School I'm not against work, but the function of work is to pay for the rest of my life. You don't need to have a boyfriend or a husband to enjoy stepping outside of the office once in awhile. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997959) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:50 PM Author: gaped twinkling uncleanness somebody got an A in game theory 101. well put. *has flashbacks to UG poli sci* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997901) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:42 PM Author: navy volcanic crater locale lol, where the fuck are you getting this shit from? you will get in political trouble if partners/senior management think you've formed a subtribe? what the fuck? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997873) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:48 PM Author: gaped twinkling uncleanness subtribe? whose post are you reading? I made it very clear that you do NOT want to be perceived as mr. popular. rather, each individual coworker is supposed to perceive that you and them have a special bond. none of them are to recognize that you share that "special bond" with most of the office. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997893) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:51 PM Author: navy volcanic crater locale maybe you should learn how the reply feature works, you dumb faggot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997908) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:53 PM Author: gaped twinkling uncleanness are you illiterate? I WAS REPLYING TO YOU, YOU FUCKIGN RETARD. SORRY YOUR MIDGET BRAIN IS OVER CAPACITY HERE. you said to me "blah blah blah subtribe" and i fucking responded. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997924) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:54 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle Violet Sound Barrier School She actually said it to the OP, who responded to you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997930) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:56 PM Author: gaped twinkling uncleanness great, so basically I'M illiterate? this sucks. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997942) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:52 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library You're being really over-ambitious with your office politics goals. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997913) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:56 PM Author: gaped twinkling uncleanness it isn't overambitious at all. it is far more efficient use of time than many other things people do to advance their careers. for no more than two hours per week i have an awesome insurance policy. sorry that the threat of having to socially interact with people freaks you out so much that you can't imagine doing it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997939) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 1:00 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library You do realize how much people hate you on xo, right? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997956) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 1:02 PM Author: gaped twinkling uncleanness don't hate the player, hate the game. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997962) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:50 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library wtf is I asked you to go away five monikers ago. Why don't you have any self control? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997904) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:47 PM Author: gaped twinkling uncleanness i didn't say that EVERYONE should do it. I said that I find it CRITICAL for ME. I admit that i am far better at manipulating people than you probably are. Yes, people are trying to do the same to me, but i am better at it. HTFH you intellectual midget. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997886) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:49 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library I hope you're not using the personality you've used on xo. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997899) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:52 PM Author: gaped twinkling uncleanness of course not you illiterate retard. as i said, the point is that the beauty of happy hours is that you only have to put on your fake persona for an hour or two, and the benefits far outweigh the challenges. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997910) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:55 PM Author: Cerebral soggy library Good luck with that. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997932) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:46 PM Author: Free-loading arousing main people this has got to be a pensive flame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#9997880) |
|
Date: July 22nd, 2008 12:46 PM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend I'M SINGLE AGAIN BACK ON THE PROWL DON'T KNOW HOW THOUGHT IT WAS PERFECT |
|
Date: July 24th, 2008 11:31 AM Author: canary lay Why are you giving career advice when you can't get a job? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=838126&forum_id=2#10004604) |
|
Date: July 24th, 2008 11:39 AM Author: buff athletic conference organic girlfriend i just graduated from college in may and I have worked at law firms pt to pay the bills.
how the fuck do you think a poli sci grad got a interview at a oil company for a finance analyst position? |