Date: January 5th, 2016 7:13 PM Author: Mischievous Fear-inspiring Base Depressive
You know you can easily train to be likeable. But first you have to look at the attitudes you hold and behaviors you do that make you unlikable to people.
Date: January 5th, 2016 7:14 PM Author: floppy burgundy brethren plaza
I tried. That's the really worst part, when you stress yourself to be nice/happy while wanting to die inside. then you realize everyone except you MAED it anyways.
Date: January 5th, 2016 7:17 PM Author: Mischievous Fear-inspiring Base Depressive
Oh, you made some cursory attempt (I'm guessing shot through w/ self sabotage) so now you get to say you 'tried' and give up forever!
Dood you have a delusional (dysthymic) thinking style & are self-sabotaging. CBT (emphasis on the behavioral part) would do u a world of good. But first you would have to want to change, and it seems that you do not.
Date: January 5th, 2016 7:23 PM Author: Mischievous Fear-inspiring Base Depressive
Ur now shifting the topic, which was about efforts to increase likeability, to your obsession (failure at LS). Lots of very successful ppl failed utterly at lots of shit. It's what they succeeded at that gets recorded.
You were vain in your gifts, and dwell on your defeat with the injured pride of a woman spurned. It is unbecoming.
Date: January 5th, 2016 7:24 PM Author: floppy burgundy brethren plaza
i haven't just failed at LS, I failed at everything following that forever. heck, it wasn't even failing at school itself (I did fine), but being proven unable to interact with any human being ever.
Date: January 5th, 2016 7:26 PM Author: bateful native
you probably radiate negativity. it seems like a catch-22 but maybe if you get some sort of job that makes you feel human again you can learn to undo that
Date: January 5th, 2016 7:29 PM Author: floppy burgundy brethren plaza
that's what I've been trying the ENTIRE TIME
I have never held any job ever and I probably never will. Who the fuck is going to hire an unemployed 27 y/o who has NEVER EVER EVER held a job in his ENTIRE LIFE?
Date: January 5th, 2016 7:30 PM Author: Mischievous Fear-inspiring Base Depressive
You are interacting with me right now, so ur wrong. Also, you are catastrophizing. This is just disordered thinking - delusional, as I said. You can literally learn, step by step, to interact with ppl in a way they will like, and (more likely than not) that will make them like you. But to be successful you must be interested in OTHER PPL and shit OUTSIDE of yourself, rather than engaging endlessly in ruminations &c.
Let's say you are literally aspie and not socialized properly and people can tell. GREAT! That means you get to master (albeit by rote) social skills that the naturally-socialized usually only half-know. The key is to believe you can, set achievable incremental measurable goals, and reward urself for effort.
Date: January 5th, 2016 7:32 PM Author: floppy burgundy brethren plaza
that's the problem - I think I'm in a way worse position than the autist. I can't identify anywhere I fail socially in interviews and anything else, so I can't fix it.
Date: January 5th, 2016 7:35 PM Author: Mischievous Fear-inspiring Base Depressive
What have you done to identify where you failed? Have you taken video & compared urself to successful ppl? Solicited feedback? Checked your posture, gait, fashion choices, gaze/eye-contact? How's your speaking volume, cadence, & tonality? Are you positive / up-beat in that annoyingly chipper/polished Ivy League way?
Date: January 5th, 2016 7:31 PM Author: Mischievous Fear-inspiring Base Depressive
Also, ppl love redemption narratives. "i tried - but completely failed, despite all my gifts! Shit happens. But then I learned how to -, and started -"