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send birthday card to ex bf?

By "ex bf" i mean that I cheated on my bf with him...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
Not only should you not send the card, but you're a dumb fuc...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
It's mostly because I am in love with him and cannot get him...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
Then why are you with the current bf?
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
typical whore
Lilac Bbw Becky
  02/28/07
I'm giving her presumed innocence for the time being.
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
I think it's too late for presumed innocence once you've con...
exciting tanning salon
  02/28/07
Innocence from dumb whoredom though. I'm pretending there's ...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
There's never a rational explanation for why you cheated on ...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
uh she has a bf even though she likes another dood. and chea...
Lilac Bbw Becky
  02/28/07
Too complicated to explain here. Consensus seems to be ...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
"Too complicated to explain here." Bullshit!
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
I didn't say that I am special. However, this relationship ...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
oh no, not the PETS. Nobody in this history of relationships...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
Don't even pretend to care about your boyfriend. You think ...
hairraiser zombie-like lay people who are hurt
  02/28/07
Ha! He makes me pay the rent with my school loan even thoug...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
ALL the rent? or just half of it? You've already been establ...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
He just paid the rent in the first time in 6 months after I ...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
"I am not a liar, though I have certainly omitted to te...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
or 1/2, since a year has 12 months, and you paid the first 6...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
He is not planning to pay for every month from now on. If I ...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
"He is not planning to pay for every month from now on....
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
Yes, he has specifically indicated that he resents paying th...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
But he pays it. So that argument is gone.
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
Um, he did pay it this month since I had a few unexpected ex...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
And my point is that even if you have to complain, he pays h...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
You seem oddly bitter. Have you ever cheated on someone? B...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
Getting cheated on is every guy's worst nightmare. Its neve...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
"He is not planning to pay for every month from now on....
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
I could probably cover rent if he moved out. I have not tak...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
Surely you realize this relationship is doomed. Its better ...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
I wish we had more info and could e-mail this thread to both...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
Yep.
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
The other guy would likely not be shocked by any of it. I a...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
"I was at fault, but he has not been perfect, either.&q...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
"Say this to him and he'll probably kill you or beat yo...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
"Though you obviously think that I am a horrible person...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
Yet you mention the difficulty of splitting up stuff, having...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
That is why I said it was a complicated situation. If you w...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
"I've been with my bf for 5 years." Ugh... ...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
I didn't say that it excused it. I am not happy about it, a...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
"However" There are no howevers or buts here. ...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
Seriously. If you pay all the rent, how is there a lease pr...
hairraiser zombie-like lay people who are hurt
  02/28/07
"Breaking up with my bf would be incredibly hard since ...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
There's nothing complicated about it.
hairraiser zombie-like lay people who are hurt
  02/28/07
Too bad we've moved away from scarlet letters and stoning?
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
get therapy
exciting tanning salon
  02/28/07
Or a gun. You know the rest.
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
not only should you send the card, you are a dumb fucking wh...
stimulating milky weed whacker space
  02/28/07
slit your throat, nigger bitch.
Lilac Bbw Becky
  02/28/07
wait, you mean you slept with someone NOT your boyfriend? ...
exciting tanning salon
  02/28/07
"wait, you mean you slept with someone NOT your boyfrie...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
Send the card. Then kill self with a suicide note to your...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
179
Lilac Bbw Becky
  02/28/07
The situation is more complicated than you make it sound. I...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
still waiting for an explanation.
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
"The situation is more complicated than you make it sou...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
No. He would freak out and act scary, probably break things...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
:D offers a useful solution to this.
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
Wow, you are shit. Listen, do your bf a favor and let him g...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
Sometimes I think that this would be the best option, but th...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
"but then I worry that it might be a mistake." ...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
Is he rich? Sue him.
Fantasy-prone gaped regret
  02/28/07
no.
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
You got angry at your boyfriend and had yourself a combinati...
hairraiser zombie-like lay people who are hurt
  02/28/07
We were having a long distance relationship at the time and ...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
"It was probably a bad idea" Probably? You thi...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
Correct. It was a stupidity fuck. Not surprising, after seei...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
It was stupid, but unfortunately means a lot to me even thou...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
Then the performer is as dumb as the action itself.
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
Very insightful. It would be nice if feelings and relations...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
They are, if you use well-reasoned thought and consider cons...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
It wasn't really impulsive. It occurred after a great deal ...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
Cheating is inherently simple and can virtually never be &qu...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
that was funny aim?
exciting tanning salon
  02/28/07
Yeah, that "Castaway" movie with Tom Hanks where h...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
Yep. Its pretty much never "complicated" even tho...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
I think that it is more complicated for women because we att...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
"I think that it is more complicated for women because ...
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
I heard that movie sucked. No, this was not the situati...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
Well that was a good expenditure of time, energy and emotion...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
Or MySpace bulletin. She should do us all a "favore&quo...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
myspace/facebook/AIM msg
Fantasy-prone gaped regret
  02/28/07
http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=64039&mc=485...
exciting tanning salon
  02/28/07
Its a bit too late for faithfulness.
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
I am in no way like her.
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
You're worse. At least she told her bf.
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
Except for the minor fact that you are, in every single mean...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
No. I am just seeking perspectives on the situation.
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
Just in case she follows imightbeagiant's example:
flatulent passionate market
  02/28/07
Stop flaming her. This is alpha dominating behavior natural ...
Fantasy-prone gaped regret
  02/28/07
Look, if you like the other guy, dump the one you are with a...
exciting tanning salon
  02/28/07
This is all probably true. Don't worry, I do not have any i...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
I agree. Telling him would not help. But it seems like it's ...
exciting tanning salon
  02/28/07
The card is really the least of your worries. Everything is ...
Aphrodisiac self-absorbed turdskin corner
  02/28/07
I was cheated on long ago and now nothing turns me on more t...
glittery smoky stage
  02/28/07
How long ago? It's an interesting phase.
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
In 2002. Since then if I learn a girl has a BF she immediate...
glittery smoky stage
  02/28/07
1) you will be an excellent lawyer 2) is cheating really th...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
1) ty 2) Its not easy, but you can usually learn who is l...
glittery smoky stage
  02/28/07
Gotcha. I thought you were describing a serial situation whe...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
Hopefully I'll get over it some day so that I can have a hea...
glittery smoky stage
  02/28/07
No. Twat.
Rambunctious Sweet Tailpipe Crackhouse
  02/28/07
Hi saltybabe!
Rebellious Codepig
  02/28/07
If this ex-boyfriend had feelings for you, he'd be in a long...
duck-like beta foreskin field
  02/28/07
He implied that he would have moved to be near me. The only...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
Then maybe stop getting into relationships? Just a suggestio...
sable awkward therapy preventive strike
  02/28/07
This is probably the credited response. I feel like I have ...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
wow Fish really took this personally.
bistre filthy jap hissy fit
  02/28/07
it looks like fish and dracula were pretty hard on the girl ...
talking indecent pervert
  02/28/07
I still may; I am trying to decide whether it would be worth...
Jet judgmental hominid senate
  02/28/07
That you're a whore is already established as is your stupid...
Shivering Famous Landscape Painting
  02/28/07


Poast new message in this thread





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:06 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

By "ex bf" i mean that I cheated on my bf with him, then cut off contact since he lives across the country and I'm still with my current bf. Wrong or stupid to send a card? He wanted to maintain contact when I stopped talking to him 3-4 months ago.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682847)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:09 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

Not only should you not send the card, but you're a dumb fucking whore. I cannot believe you're even considering this. Die.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682871)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:14 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

It's mostly because I am in love with him and cannot get him out of my head, but whatever.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682906)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:15 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

Then why are you with the current bf?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682915)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:16 AM
Author: Lilac Bbw Becky

typical whore

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682919)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:17 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

I'm giving her presumed innocence for the time being.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682926)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:18 AM
Author: exciting tanning salon

I think it's too late for presumed innocence once you've confessed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682932)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:19 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

Innocence from dumb whoredom though. I'm pretending there's a rational explanation until she gives me some feeble bullshit. Do I know it will be feeble bullshit? Of course. But I want to extend the olive branch of pretending there's some kind of rational explanation she can give.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682947)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:34 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

There's never a rational explanation for why you cheated on your bf.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683040)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:18 AM
Author: Lilac Bbw Becky

uh she has a bf even though she likes another dood. and cheated on him...

how is she not a typical whore?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682934)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:18 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

Too complicated to explain here.

Consensus seems to be to leave the other guy alone, so that is what I will do. I've tried to get news of him through mutual friends, but have not been able to :-(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682936)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:21 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

"Too complicated to explain here."

Bullshit!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682957)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:24 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

I didn't say that I am special. However, this relationship is special to me.

Breaking up with my bf would be incredibly hard since we share pets, possessions, a lease, and I dislike confrontation. Also, it would kill him.

I know that I have neither my emotions nor my life in order.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682979)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:26 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

oh no, not the PETS. Nobody in this history of relationships has ever ever ever ever shared PETS.

The other shit is pretty manageable. This is pathetic. Are you in law school?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682990)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:27 AM
Author: hairraiser zombie-like lay people who are hurt

Don't even pretend to care about your boyfriend. You think he would be upset if you broke up? How about if he found out you loved another and were sleeping around on him?

Admit it, you don't want to break up because he pays for shit, and you can just sleep around.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682998)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:29 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

Ha! He makes me pay the rent with my school loan even though he has a job. He doesn't pay for shit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683013)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:31 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

ALL the rent? or just half of it? You've already been established as a liar by your own admissions, so I don't know how much of this I buy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683022)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:34 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

He just paid the rent in the first time in 6 months after I threw a big fit, so I guess he pays about 1/6 of the rent.

I am not a liar, though I have certainly omitted to tell him about this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683038)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:35 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

"I am not a liar, though I have certainly omitted to tell him about this."

Semantics. You were completely dishonest.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683046)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:37 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

or 1/2, since a year has 12 months, and you paid the first 6. 6/12 = .5 or 50%. Again, even if it took some coaxing, you're going in exactly half. Stop trying to pin this on him, you're the deplorable piece of shit who fucked and loved someone else, never told your bf and now want to send a BIRTHDAY CARD to said fuckbuddy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683053)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:39 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

He is not planning to pay for every month from now on. If I am lucky, I might be able to get him to pay for every other month (which would be fair)

Fuckbuddy is the last word that I would use in this context.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683060)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:42 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

"He is not planning to pay for every month from now on."

Did he tell you this? Are you assuming? Or are you making this up?

If I shouldn't call him a "fuckbuddy," then please, tell me what word I should use so as to avoid offending your delicate sensibilities.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683067)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:47 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

Yes, he has specifically indicated that he resents paying the rent.

You may call him whatever you like, but FB seems inaccurate given that we have feelings for each other.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683087)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:56 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

But he pays it. So that argument is gone.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683146)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:59 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

Um, he did pay it this month since I had a few unexpected expenses that came up and I threw a huge fit. My point here is that I am not using him for his money.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683162)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:09 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

And my point is that even if you have to complain, he pays his share, making your original bitching about the lease and his contribution null and void. Stop fucking arguing and break up with him already. You should have stopped ruining lives with your own and now you have to fuck his up too with your actions, you miserable little wench.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683200)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:11 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

You seem oddly bitter. Have you ever cheated on someone? Been cheated on?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683203)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:16 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

Getting cheated on is every guy's worst nightmare. Its never happened to me though. Don't know about dracula, but it doesn't matter whether it happened or not. Just the thought is horrible.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683223)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:48 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

"He is not planning to pay for every month from now on. If I am lucky, I might be able to get him to pay for every other month (which would be fair)"

Therefore, you have a financial interest in stringing along the poor bastard who calls himself your bf. If there's a hell you can bet you're going there.

"Fuckbuddy is the last word that I would use in this context."

You fuck him but he's not your bf. Fuckbuddy is as good a term as any.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683092)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:54 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

I could probably cover rent if he moved out. I have not taken that kind of action because I am not sure that it would be the right decision, I am terrified of how he will respond, and the prospect of the enormous confrontation and ongoing fight that would follow is also terrifying.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683130)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:58 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

Surely you realize this relationship is doomed. Its better for everyone if it happens sooner than later. Especially if you meet another guy or restart communication or worse with the guy you cheated with and he finds out. Seriously, he will likely beat the crap out of you and frankly, most males will think he was right. Just end it now.

There is no way staying with him can be the right decision. Any chance you had of working out ended that night. If you disagree, then tell your bf the truth and let him decide if he wants to continue. 99% chance that he ends it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683156)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:59 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

I wish we had more info and could e-mail this thread to both men involved.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683167)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:01 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

Yep.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683175)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:03 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

The other guy would likely not be shocked by any of it. I am not sure what the point would be.

My bf would be very upset, but telling him would not really accomplish anything. I was at fault, but he has not been perfect, either.

It is funny to be in a situation where my one wrong is considered grounds to killself/be beat up/etc. regardless of the circumstances leading up to the incident.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683182)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:07 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

"I was at fault, but he has not been perfect, either."

Say this to him and he'll probably kill you or beat you into a coma. Don't say that.

"It is funny to be in a situation where my one wrong is considered grounds to killself/be beat up/etc. regardless of the circumstances leading up to the incident."

Its that kind of "wrong." No one cares about your circumstances. All you had to do to avoid being in your position was make one phone call saying it was over. Instead, you betrayed his trust in an unforgivable way.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683195)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:14 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

"Say this to him and he'll probably kill you or beat you into a coma. Don't say that." That is very frightening, and likely true. He has grown to be very scary when angry in the past year or two.

I appreciate everything you have had to say here. Though you obviously think that I am a horrible person, you have responded helpfully.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683213)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:20 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

"Though you obviously think that I am a horrible person, you have responded helpfully."

Honestly, I think if he found out and beat you within an inch of your life he'd be justified. But in reality I think this would be best for no one. The advice I give you is best for both of you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683235)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:32 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

Yet you mention the difficulty of splitting up stuff, having a joint lease, etc. in your post.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683026)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:46 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

That is why I said it was a complicated situation. If you want a more detailed explanation, one follows:

I've been with my bf for 5 years. Our relationship was great to start, and maybe I made too many commitments so that now everything in our lives is inextricably connected. He has become controlling, pissy, and never wants to have sex with me. This drove me away from him.

I then went to another state across the country to work for a few months, then we moved to a new location together. While in the other state, I became best friends with this other guy, and then the cheating occurred. I had to leave a day or two later.

Since then, nothing has improved with my bf. He is very mean to me half of the time, apologizes and acts nice the other half of the time. I feel trapped and as a result am missing the other guy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683084)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:54 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

"I've been with my bf for 5 years."

Ugh...

"Our relationship was great to start, and maybe I made too many commitments so that now everything in our lives is inextricably connected."

So time to separate those items. Couples married for 30 years manage to do it. People with kids do it. You can do it too. You have an obligation to do it.

"He has become controlling, pissy, and never wants to have sex with me. This drove me away from him."

So why didn't you just break up with him?

"I then went to another state across the country to work for a few months, then we moved to a new location together. While in the other state, I became best friends with this other guy, and then the cheating occurred. I had to leave a day or two later."

Here's the issue - if you called your bf the night before and said "look, we don't have sex, we don't get along, hence, you and I have no relationship" then no one would have faulted you. Instead, you cheated on your bf and never told him. Now you live with him again, continue to have a relationship which he would certainly not have if he knew the truth. If you have any dignity or self-worth or at least concern for your safety then I suggest you leave now. Seriously, break it to him tomorrow morning, then make sure one of you packs your things and leaves.

"Since then, nothing has improved with my bf. He is very mean to me half of the time, apologizes and acts nice the other half of the time. I feel trapped and as a result am missing the other guy."

This doesn't help your case at all. If you don't get on with your bf then end it. That doesn't excuse cheating in any way, shape, or form.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683136)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:57 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

I didn't say that it excused it. I am not happy about it, and I do not think that it is right. However, though it is not excusable, I think that this is why it happened. I am frankly shocked to discover that I have the capacity to do this sort of thing.

Your advice seems fairly sound, though. Thanks for your perspective.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683151)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:05 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

"However"

There are no howevers or buts here. It doesn't matter why you did it. Seriously. I don't care if he was the biggest asshole in the world. No man deserves that. You leave him and then you can do gangbangs, star in porn, slut it up more than Paris Hilton, whatever.

"I am frankly shocked to discover that I have the capacity to do this sort of thing."

Right, and maybe in your next relationship you'll know what not to do, not that you know you are more than capable of doing the worst things imaginable. But this relationship is finished.

"Your advice seems fairly sound, though. Thanks for your perspective."

I'm a guy. All guys will have a somewhat similar perspective on this. I guarantee that this will coincide to your bf's perspective. Just end it, for both your sakes.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683188)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:34 AM
Author: hairraiser zombie-like lay people who are hurt

Seriously. If you pay all the rent, how is there a lease problem? You can just kick him out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683039)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:31 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

"Breaking up with my bf would be incredibly hard since we share pets, possessions, a lease, and I dislike confrontation."

Unbelievable. In other words, you're a selfish bitch that found the perfect victim.

"Also, it would kill him."

Secrets are a funny thing - sooner or later they get out. The longer you let this stew, or if God forbid he founds out from someone else, the worse the reaction will be. I'd worry about yourself in that case. Just end it now before something bad happens.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683021)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:24 AM
Author: hairraiser zombie-like lay people who are hurt

There's nothing complicated about it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682974)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:25 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

Too bad we've moved away from scarlet letters and stoning?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682983)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:17 AM
Author: exciting tanning salon

get therapy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682927)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:18 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

Or a gun. You know the rest.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682935)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:53 AM
Author: stimulating milky weed whacker space

not only should you send the card, you are a dumb fucking whore.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683122)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:10 AM
Author: Lilac Bbw Becky

slit your throat, nigger bitch.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682879)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:15 AM
Author: exciting tanning salon

wait, you mean you slept with someone NOT your boyfriend?

Don't send the card.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682917)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:18 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

"wait, you mean you slept with someone NOT your boyfriend?"

Credited.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682942)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:18 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

Send the card.

Then kill self with a suicide note to your bf explaining that you're a cheating whore. TY.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682931)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:18 AM
Author: Lilac Bbw Becky

179

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682941)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:21 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

The situation is more complicated than you make it sound. I was definitely wrong, but my actions were precipitated in part by various relationship troubles ranging from being constantly rejected for sex to being treated badly.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682958)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:22 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

still waiting for an explanation.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682966)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:24 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

"The situation is more complicated than you make it sound."

I guarantee you its not. You cheated on your bf. Don't make it worse by pretending that was somehow "not that bad."

"I was definitely wrong, but my actions were precipitated in part by various relationship troubles ranging from being constantly rejected for sex to being treated badly."

Fine, so dump your current bf and go be with someone else.

Does your bf even know?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682975)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:26 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

No. He would freak out and act scary, probably break things or hurt himself. Telling him could not possibly yield good results for anyone involved.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682987)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:27 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

:D offers a useful solution to this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683001)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:28 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

Wow, you are shit. Listen, do your bf a favor and let him go.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683003)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:51 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

Sometimes I think that this would be the best option, but then I worry that it might be a mistake. I do not know how to tell when a relationship is really over.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683108)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:00 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

"but then I worry that it might be a mistake."

That's your selfish bitchy self talking. Listening to that part of you will lead you to a world of pain sooner or later.

"I do not know how to tell when a relationship is really over."

Let me help you. When you cheat on your bf of 5 years then its over. Frankly, you should have never moved back in with him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683169)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:32 AM
Author: Fantasy-prone gaped regret

Is he rich? Sue him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683029)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:54 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

no.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683137)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:25 AM
Author: hairraiser zombie-like lay people who are hurt

You got angry at your boyfriend and had yourself a combination vengeance/self-pity fuck. That's not complicated in the slightest.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682985)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:28 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

We were having a long distance relationship at the time and my relationship with the other guy developed out of a friendship. It was probably a bad idea, but was in no way a vengeance or self-pity fuck.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683007)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:33 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

"It was probably a bad idea"

Probably? You think?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683032)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:38 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

Correct. It was a stupidity fuck. Not surprising, after seeing how this thread has developed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683057)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:49 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

It was stupid, but unfortunately means a lot to me even though several months have passed since it happened.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683095)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:55 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

Then the performer is as dumb as the action itself.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683141)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:07 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

Very insightful. It would be nice if feelings and relationships were as simple as you make them out to be.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683193)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:12 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

They are, if you use well-reasoned thought and consider consequences before acting on impulse.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683206)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:18 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

It wasn't really impulsive. It occurred after a great deal of fretting and concern, and was certainly a conscious decision.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683231)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:14 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

Cheating is inherently simple and can virtually never be "complicated." Unless you thought your bf had died but there was a mix-up at the hospital and really he was alive when you had sex with another guy its not really "complicated."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683211)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:15 AM
Author: exciting tanning salon

that was funny

aim?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683219)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:16 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

Yeah, that "Castaway" movie with Tom Hanks where he lived on an island for 5+ years is the only example I can think of where this happened. Not a good sign for her.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683222)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:23 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

Yep. Its pretty much never "complicated" even though every female I've seen acts as though their infidelity was "complicated." At least guys have the decency to admit that we just wanted hot young ass and that we deserve what we get.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683244)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:26 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

I think that it is more complicated for women because we attach more emotional weight to just about everything. This guy isn't even objectively hot or anything; we just had a very intense connection. I cannot remember feeling that way about someone before. Surprisingly, it was mutual.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683250)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:49 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

"I think that it is more complicated for women because we attach more emotional weight to just about everything."

But that's not a real complication. You just think its complicated because your emotions are pushing you towards cheating. In reality its perfectly simple - you want to cheat but don't have enough respect for your bf to end it, you cheat. Then its "complicated" as a justification. That's no good.

"This guy isn't even objectively hot or anything; we just had a very intense connection."

Irrelevant. That's no better than "she was objectively a 7/10 but she was really perky and only 18 so I fucked her."

"I cannot remember feeling that way about someone before. Surprisingly, it was mutual."

Again, that doesn't make it complicated. Then you just dump your bf and get together with him.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683291)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:24 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

I heard that movie sucked.

No, this was not the situation. It was more that things were bad, we were separated (physically, not relationship wise) and I felt much happier and better generally, I met the other guy and really fell for him, then everything had to end due to the plans that I had already arranged. Then I was confused and did not know what to do, but seem to have ended up back where I started.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683247)





Date: February 28th, 2007 9:34 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

Well that was a good expenditure of time, energy and emotions if you're right back where you started. Brav-fucking-o. Since your relationship has not improved and probably deteriorated further as a result of this, I'd say you're at the same if not higher risk for doing this again if put in a similar situation.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683636)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:22 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

Or MySpace bulletin. She should do us all a "favore" [sic]...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682963)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:20 AM
Author: Fantasy-prone gaped regret

myspace/facebook/AIM msg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682955)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:23 AM
Author: exciting tanning salon

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=64039&mc=485&forum_id=2

don't be like her. stay faithful this time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682971)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:29 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

Its a bit too late for faithfulness.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683010)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:31 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

I am in no way like her.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683023)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:32 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market

You're worse. At least she told her bf.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683028)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:33 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

Except for the minor fact that you are, in every single meaningful way. Did you really come to a male-dominated message board expecting sympathy?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683035)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:35 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

No. I am just seeking perspectives on the situation.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683044)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:36 AM
Author: flatulent passionate market
Subject: Just in case she follows imightbeagiant's example:

Date: February 28th, 2007 1:06 AM

Author: quizas

By "ex bf" i mean that I cheated on my bf with him, then cut off contact since he lives across the country and I'm still with my current bf. Wrong or stupid to send a card? He wanted to maintain contact when I stopped talking to him 3-4 months ago.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682847)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683051)





Date: February 28th, 2007 1:37 AM
Author: Fantasy-prone gaped regret

Stop flaming her. This is alpha dominating behavior natural in humans. To be complete however, OP must be sired by longdistance fuckbuddy and use her beta boyfriend (and his resources) to raise it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683055)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:01 AM
Author: exciting tanning salon

Look, if you like the other guy, dump the one you are with and try to get together with him. This isn't complicated. So your current bf won't take it well. Guess what? He'd take you cheating on him and wanting someone else over him even worse. You're even worse than one of those girls that cheats because she's drunk at a bar one night. You have formed an emotional attachment and slept with another man. Your relationship is OVER.

Be very clear on this: you are not staying with your current boyfriend for him. He would be better off without you. If you stay, it is for your own selfish reasons.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683177)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:27 AM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

This is all probably true. Don't worry, I do not have any illusions that I am staying with him purely for his benefit. However, I really do not think that it would do anyone any good to tell him. An ex bf spitefully told me about having cheated on me when we broke up; everyone would have been better off if he'd have kept his mouth shut.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683255)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:30 AM
Author: exciting tanning salon

I agree. Telling him would not help. But it seems like it's time to leave him. It isn't working, obviously.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683258)





Date: February 28th, 2007 2:30 AM
Author: Aphrodisiac self-absorbed turdskin corner

The card is really the least of your worries. Everything is a big mess already and you have some bigger decisions to make than whether to send a card.

This is like Britney Spears freaking out about whether to smoke a cigarette right now and acting as though its the biggest life choice she has ever had to make.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683261)





Date: February 28th, 2007 9:48 AM
Author: glittery smoky stage

I was cheated on long ago and now nothing turns me on more than cheating or helping someone cheat. nothing. what a fucked up world i live in.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683680)





Date: February 28th, 2007 9:52 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

How long ago? It's an interesting phase.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683689)





Date: February 28th, 2007 9:55 AM
Author: glittery smoky stage

In 2002. Since then if I learn a girl has a BF she immediately looks ten times hotter. Also while dating or in a relationship... well you know the rest. I obviously enjoy sex with the person I'm with, but it feels so much better and I'm so much more into it if someone's getting fucked over on the side.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683698)





Date: February 28th, 2007 9:56 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

1) you will be an excellent lawyer

2) is cheating really that easy? I've never helped anyone do it, but it seemed like more of an option with girls in longer relationships who were getting bored rather than when they were starting off and happy with the person they had.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683703)





Date: February 28th, 2007 10:06 AM
Author: glittery smoky stage

1) ty

2) Its not easy, but you can usually learn who is likely to do it by the circumstances surrounding your meeting. A girl with a BF in another city visiting friends in your city and going out to bars/clubs is 10x more likely to cheat than the one who is flirting at bars/clubs with you but has a BF in the same town. I'm not saying I do it all the time, just that when it happens.. well just imagine the best sex you've had.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683749)





Date: February 28th, 2007 10:08 AM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

Gotcha. I thought you were describing a serial situation where they were your primary targets.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683757)





Date: February 28th, 2007 10:10 AM
Author: glittery smoky stage

Hopefully I'll get over it some day so that I can have a healthy, fruitful, and succesful marriage. If not, then whatev, family life is overrated.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683767)





Date: February 28th, 2007 10:11 AM
Author: Rambunctious Sweet Tailpipe Crackhouse

No.

Twat.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683771)





Date: February 28th, 2007 10:26 AM
Author: Rebellious Codepig

Hi saltybabe!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683834)





Date: February 28th, 2007 6:56 PM
Author: duck-like beta foreskin field

If this ex-boyfriend had feelings for you, he'd be in a long-distance relationship with you, or at least he would be expressing some degree of feelings for you. If he's not doing any of those things, then he doesn't feel that way about you and you should get over it.

Also dump your current boyfriend. You're not doing him any favors if you're dating him while in love with another man.

With regard to the card, send it if you want. You already like the guy. Don't be surprised if he does nothing or fails to respond, though. I sent a birthday card and burned CD to a male friend that I had feelings for at the time and he never even acknowledged that he received it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7686717)





Date: February 28th, 2007 8:39 PM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

He implied that he would have moved to be near me. The only reason we stopped communicating is that I told him that I could not handle our relationship, and that I thought that it was wrong. He also felt guilty, but not enough to want to cut off contact...

It is possible that he would not respond at this point. Sending it would probably be a bad idea, because it might hurt him. I keep telling myself that I would have problems with any relationship, and just have different problems with him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7687341)





Date: February 28th, 2007 8:50 PM
Author: sable awkward therapy preventive strike

Then maybe stop getting into relationships? Just a suggestion.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7687408)





Date: February 28th, 2007 8:55 PM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

This is probably the credited response. I feel like I have to beat them off with sticks sometimes, though. It's hard NOT to be in a relationship. (Mostly kidding, but not entirely)

If I could handle FB relationships, maybe I would pursue this course of action (not getting into real relationships), but I think that I would get attached.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7687444)





Date: February 28th, 2007 7:12 PM
Author: bistre filthy jap hissy fit

wow Fish really took this personally.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7686784)





Date: February 28th, 2007 7:12 PM
Author: talking indecent pervert

it looks like fish and dracula were pretty hard on the girl in this thread.

i'd say... fuck it, go ahead and send the card. you've already cheated. current relationship is going nowhere, but you feel trapped/obligated. why not see if he's still interested?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7686789)





Date: February 28th, 2007 8:53 PM
Author: Jet judgmental hominid senate

I still may; I am trying to decide whether it would be worth it to remind him of me (assuming he cares). The last communication we had, he told me that he is there for me if I ever need anything.

E-mailed a mutual friend to reconnoitre.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7687423)





Date: February 28th, 2007 10:57 PM
Author: Shivering Famous Landscape Painting

That you're a whore is already established as is your stupidity. I read through about 80% of the thread and am absolutely surprised that no one had by then pointed out the obvious: the dude you cheated with doesn't want your skank ass and you're delusional if you think otherwise. If he wanted anything to do with you, contact would be have already happened either through normal channels or through the friends you've desperately tapped.

News flash: he knows you're a cheating piece of shit and his only interest was in turning you out. Move on with your life, but at least have the decency to do the right thing with your current boyfriend.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7688333)