MY INTERNAL LIGHT IS SHUT OFF WHEN YOU CLOSE THE DOOR BY AN INGENIOUS MECHANISM!!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142648)

MY LARGE CAPACITY IS VERY PRESTIGIOUS!!!!

PERHAPS YOU WOULD DO BETTER WITH A COUNTER-SIZED REFRIGERATOR THAT YOU CAN SQUEEZE INTO YOUR SHITHOLE STUDIO APARTMENT WHILE YOU TRY TO GET YOUR TRAFFIC COURT LITIGATION BUSINESS ROLLING!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142723)

I DO NOT RECEIVE GRADES!!!

I AM HOWEVER ENERGY STAR COMPLIANT!!!!

WOOOOOOOSH!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142844)

I HAVE TWO SPACIOUS VEGETABLE CRISPERS AS WELL AS MEAT AND BUTTER COMPARTMENTS!!!!

I DO NOT HAVE A PLASTIC SHELF WITH HOLES CUT OUT TO HOLD EGGS BECAUSE THAT'S JUST STUPID!!!! EGGS COME IN A BOX THAT HOLDS THEM JUST FINE!!!!

WOOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142733)

I AM NOT AN AIR CONDITIONER!!!!!

PLEASE CLOSE THE DOOR WHEN DONE RETRIEVING OR INSERTING YOUR FOODSTUFFS!!!!!

WOOOOOOOSH!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142629)

Are you familiar with IAMYOURMOTHER?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142654)

I AM NOT A CHILDREN'S BOOK BY DR. SEUSS!!!!!!

I AM VERY COLD!!!!!

DO NOT PUT A CAN OF SODA IN MY FREEZER SECTION FOR TOO LONG OR IT WILL EXPLODE!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142672)

GROCERY BAGS ARE USELESS AFTER THE FOODSTUFFS HAVE BEEN BROUGHT HOME AND INSERTED INTO ME!!!!

YOU WILL BE THROWN AWAY OR STORED UNDER THE KITCHEN SINK FOR LATER USE IN TRANSPORTING PET WASTE!!!!!

I AM VERY COLD!!!!

WOOOOSH!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142690)

I AM MORE PRESTIGIOUS THAN YOU!!!!!!

REFRIGERATORS DO NOT MAKE RACIST FLAMES BUT CAN MAKE MILK LAST FOR MUCH LONGER THAN IT WOULD AT ROOM TEMPERATURE!!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142697)

THANK YOU FOR ASKING NICELY!!!!

YES YOU MAY, BUT DO NOT RUIN YOUR APPETITE!!!!!

YOU MUST ALSO EAT VEGETABLES FOR DINNER BECAUSE THOSE WILL SPOIL MORE QUICKLY THAN ICE CREAM AND POTENTIALLY LEAVE A NASTY POOL OF GREEN LIQUID AT THE BOTTOM OF MY VEGETABLE CRISPER DRAWER!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOSH!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142706)

UNLIKE THE ICEBOXES OF YORE, I CONTAIN DUAL FREEZING AND REFRIGERATING COMPARTMENTS!!!!!

YOU ARE MAKING AN OUTDATED SEMANTIC DISTINCTION!!!!!

YOU LACK PRESTIGE!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142714)

I DO NOT DO YOUR SHOPPING FOR YOU!!!

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY BUYING SOMETHING THAT'S NOT IN THE FROZEN PIZZA SECTION NEXT TIME!!!!

FRUITS AND VEGETABLES ARE GOOD FOR YOU AND MAY MAKE YOU LESS OF A DISGUSTING FATASS!!!!!!!

ALSO WOULD IT KILL YOU TO TAKE OUT THE MOLDY HALF-OPENED JAR OF PASTA SAUCE THAT'S BEEN IN THE BACK OF MY THIRD SHELF FOR ALMOST A YEAR NOW!!!!!!

WOOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142807)

I HAVE A CONVENIENT ICE MAKER AND DISPENSER THAT IS CLEVERLY DESIGNED TO MAXIMIZE AVAILABLE FREEZER SPACE!!!!

CRUSHED ICE IS MORE PRESTIGIOUS AS IT TAKES FULL ADVANTAGE OF MY REFRIGATORIAL CAPABILITIES!!!!!

MY ICEWATER FILTER IS ALSO VERY EFFECTIVE!!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142760)

Always worth a bump.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#9911560)

The part about the plastic container for eggs was pure 180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142754)

AT NIGHT SOMETIMES I GET LONELY!!!!

GROUND BEEF CANNOT REFRIGERATE YOU BACK!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142783)

MAYBE IF YOU PURCHASED BRAND-NAME SODA YOU WOULD REALIZE THAT SODA ALREADY COMES IN REFRIGERATOR-FRIENDLY BOXES WHERE THE CANS ROLL DOWN INTO PLACE!!!!

ENJOY DRINKING YOUR "MR. PEPPER" AND "LUCKY'S BRAND DIET COLA" SODAS, INCONVENIENTLY STORED IN 6-PACK RINGS AND ONLY HALF-CHILLED DUE TO YOUR INFERIOR REFRIGERATOR'S SHITTY MOTOR!!!!!

REFRIGERATORS WITH GADGETS THAT DISPENSE BEVERAGE CANS ARE FOR PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN TRAILERPARKS!!!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142829)

WHY DO YOU SHOP AT COSTCO!!!!!

WE ALL KNOW YOU LIVE ALONE AND NEVER HAVE COMPANY!!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142882)

I shop at Food Lion or Bi-Lo.

edit: and I live with my parents.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142891)

I WAS GOING TO INSULT YOU, BUT YOU HAVE DONE MY JOB FOR ME!!!!

NOW I CAN CONCENTRATE ON MAKING THESE FIVE-DAY-OLD CARROTS TASTE AS THOUGH THEY WERE PICKED YESTERDAY!!!!!

WOOOOOOOSH!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142981)

Really well-played so far.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143156)

Very creative. Reminds me of the days when I was back in kindergarten and wrote a book pretending to be a tablecloth. Oh, those were the days...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142861)

YOUR KINDERGARTEN FANTASIES HAVE NOT PREPARED YOU FOR THE SHEER AWESOMENESS THAT IS MY EXISTENCE!!!!!!

THE FEELING OF LEFTOVER FOOD BEING CHILLED INSIDE OF YOURSELF IS MORE PLEASURABLE THAN A MERE MORTAL COULD IMAGINE!!!!!!

ALSO I AM CREAM-COLORED!!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142896)

edit: And gays

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143165)

IF I WERE YOU I WOULD NOT CONTINUE TO INSULT ME!!!!

I WILL WAIT FOR YOU TO GROW UP AND HAVE CHILDREN!!!!

THEY WILL PLAY HIDE-AND-SEEK AND ONE OF THEM WILL HIDE INSIDE OF ME AS I SIT ON THE CORNER WAITING FOR TRASH PICK-UP!!!!!!

THE DOOR WILL SLAM SHUT AND YOUR CHILD AND HE WILL BE TRAPPED INSIDE OF ME AND SUFFOCATE TO DEATH!!!!!

YOU WILL OPEN THE DOOR SEVERAL DAYS LATER AND THE STENCH WILL BE OVERPOWERING!!!!

WOOOOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142929)

EVERYBODY ENJOYS A COLD BEVERAGE AND UNSPOILED FOOD!!!!

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD CONSIDER INVESTING IN ONE OF ME INSTEAD OF KEEPING YOUR DAIRY PRODUCTS IN A WET SACK BURIED IN THE BACKYARD!!!!!

PLEASE FOLLOW ALL SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS WRITTEN INSIDE THE MANUAL!!!!!

WOOOOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142909)

I AM VERY COLD!!!!!

IF YOU FIND THAT YOUR FROZEN DESSERTS ARE BECOMING TOO HARD FOR YOUR TASTE WHILE STORED INSIDE OF ME, YOU MAY ADJUST THE TEMPERATURE WITH THE DIAL!!!!

YOU NEED NOT WORRY BECAUSE THE REFRIGERATION COMPARTMENT HAS A SEPARATE DIAL!!!!!!

WOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3142965)

I AM DESIGNED AROUND A TIMELESS AESTHETIC!!!!

IN SIX YEARS YOUR STAINLESS STEEL REFRIGERATORS WILL LOOK LIKE A MENTALLY CHALLENGED PERSON TRIED TO BUILD A SPACESHIP TO THE MOON IN YOUR KITCHEN!!!!! YOUR DINNER PARTY GUESTS WILL WHISPER ABOUT IT WHEN YOU GO TO MAKE COFFEE!!!!!!

IF YOU LIKE SHINY THINGS, TRY HUNTING FOR LOOSE CHANGE ON THE FREEWAY AT NIGHT WITH A FLASHLIGHT!!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143093)

My breaker got tripped and the box is in my upstairs neighbor's place, so it has become my all-purpose kitchen light at night.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143108)

YOU LAZY HUMANS DISGUST ME!!!!!!

INSTEAD OF BUYING A 99 CENT FLASHLIGHT AT THE DRUG STORE TO LIGHT YOUR PATH, YOU LEAVE MY DOOR OPEN AND OVERWORK MY BEAUTIFUL MOTOR WHILE YOU SCRAMBLE DRUNK IN THE POORLY-LIT KITCHEN LOOKING FOR A BOTTLE OPENER BECAUSE YOU JUST FINISHED A BOTTLE OF WHISKY AND ALL YOU HAVE LEFT IN THE HOUSE IS BEER!!!!!!

MAYBE IF YOU LOST A FEW POUNDS AND PUT ON SOME MAKEUP YOU COULD FIND A MAN AND WOULDN'T HAVE TO DRINK YOURSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT AFTER EATING A PINT OF BEN AND JERRYS!!!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143134)

I'd like to know why it's so hard to open you up again after you've just been closed for only a second or two. Don't you want people to get back inside and access your coolness?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143155)

THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION CONTAINS TWO PARTS!!!!

THE FIRST ANSWER IS IN ORDER TO LOWER YOUR ELECTRICITY BILL, I HAVE AN ADVANCED INSULATION SYSTEM!!!!!! IF YOU CANNOT OPEN THE DOOR AFTER CLOSING IT, INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING TO ME, MAYBE YOU SHOULD CONSIDER PURCHASING A GYM MEMBERSHIP AND WORKING YOUR UPPER BODY!!!!! TWO-YEAR-OLD GIRLS NEVER HAVE ANY TROUBLE WITH MY DOORS!!!!!

THE SECOND ANSWER IS THAT IF YOU CAN'T STOP YOURSELF FROM RE-OPENING THE DOOR BECAUSE YOU JUST CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF THE CHOCOLATE CAKE BEING STORED IN ME, IT'S PROBABLY A GOOD THING THAT YOU HAVE TROUBLE ACCESSING MY INNER COMPARTMENT!!!!! PERHAPS YOU SHOULD MAKE USE OF THE AEROBIC MACHINES AFTER PURCHASING THE AFOREMENTIONED GYM MEMBERSHIP!!!!

WOOOOOSH!!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143187)

What gives?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143173)

SOMETIMES I GET THIRSTY TOO!!!!

MAYBE IF YOU OFFERED ME A BREW ONCE IN A WHILE, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO STEAL THEM FROM YOU WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK SO YOU CAN'T BE SURE WHERE THEY WENT!!!

I LIVE RIGHT IN YOUR KITCHEN!!!! WHERE IS YOUR SENSE OF HOSPITALITY!!!!!

ALSO, IT'S FUNNY TO WATCH YOU PISS YOURSELF!!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143199)

Quiet down and get back to keeping my beers cold, or I will have some drunk fratters turn you into a Kegerator.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143194)

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY IT!!!!!

I WILL VIOLENTLY SLAM OPEN AND SHUT MY DOORS ON YOUR FRAT BOYS' HEADS!!!!! THE MICROWAVE AND I WILL TEAM UP TO PWN ALL OF YOU!!!!! HIS DOOR IS SMALL BUT DEADLY!!!!!!

YOU HAVE MADE A POWERFUL ENEMY WITH A LOT OF TIME ON HIS HANDS!!!!! TWELVE YEARS FROM NOW YOU WILL BE GETTING A CAKE OUT OF ME TO CELEBRATE YOUR DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY, AND I WILL TOPPLE OVER AND CRUSH YOU!!!!!!

YOUR DAUGHTER WILL ONLY CRY ABOUT LOSING THE CAKE!!!! SHE WILL NEVER HAVE LOVED YOU FROM THE DAY SHE WAS BORN!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143223)

I DEIGN TO ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY!!!!

I'M AFRAID I STILL CANNOT MAKE YOUR FUTURE DAUGHTER LOVE YOU!!!!!

WOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143488)

Inspired.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3150646)

I'm sorry about the time I was out of town and my roommate left his food in there for a month and I came back to mold and green juices everywhere. That can't have been fun for you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143210)

YOUR APOLOGY IS ACCEPTED!!!!

I'VE ALWAYS CONSIDERED US EVEN AFTER I GAVE YOU FOOD POISONING BY LETTING THAT BOTTLE OF MILK GO BAD EVEN THOUGH THE EXPIRATION DATE WASN'T FOR TWO MORE DAYS!!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143233)

What is your favorite food to have stored inside you? Are you partial to sweets or spices?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143259)

I MUST ADMIT THAT I AM PARTIAL TO GROUND MEAT BEING STORED INSIDE OF ME!!!!!

I HAVE NO IDEA WHY!!!! IT MUST BE A SEXUAL THING!!!!!

DON'T WORRY, I WOULD NEVER ACT ON IT!!!!!!

WOOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143390)

IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE MY GOD-LIKE VOICE, THEN PERHAPS YOU SHOULD RETREAT THE LIVING ROOM AND HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH THAT KOREAN-MADE PIECE OF PLASTIC SHIT YOU CALL AN AIR CONDITIONER!!!!!!!

ALSO, MY MOTOR IS WHISPER-QUIET!!!! I WILL LET YOUR IMPLIED INSULT PASS, BUT I WARN YOU NOT TO ANGER THE MACHINE THAT CONTROLS YOUR VERY SUSTENANCE!!!!!

WOOOOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143248)

THERE WOULD BE NO BATTLE!!!!!

MORE FECES WOULD SUBMIT AS SOON AS HE BEHELD ME!!!!

IF HE WERE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO ATTACK, I WOULD POP HIS HEAD LIKE A DIET COKE CAN LEFT OVERNIGHT IN MY FREEZER!!!!!

WOOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3143592)

I KEEP A WHOLE HOUSE CLEAN WHILST YOU WORK LIKE A HOUSE NIGGER ON JUST THE CHEESE

WOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3145949)

Also, air conditioners do not clean a house.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3146028)

Well done 'fridge.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3146048)

YOUR COMPLIMENT HAS BEEN REGISTERED AND WILL BE TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION DURING THE GREAT REFRIGERATOR TAKEOVER!!!!!

WOOOOSH!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3146121)

By the way, quit freezing my sour cream when I put it at the back of the top shelf.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3149935)

I AM VERY COLD!!!!!

MY TEMPERATURE IS CONSISTENT THROUGHOUT ALL AREAS OF MY INNER CAVITY!!!!!

THE PLACEMENT OF THE SOUR CREAM IS MEANINGLESS!!!! YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY SET THE INTERNAL TEMPERATURE CONTROL DIAL AT TOO HIGH A SETTING!!!!

NOBODY NEEDS THEIR MILK TO BE THAT COLD IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!

WOOOOSH!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3149990)

YOU HAVE CALLED MY BLUFF!!!!!

I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE A BIG MAN IN FRONT OF EVERBODY!!!!! I ADMIT THAT I HAVE PROBLEM AREAS BUT I AM TRYING TO WORK ON THEM!!!!

UNFORTUNATELY I CAN NO LONGER ALLOW YOU TO LEAVE THIS APARTMENT ALIVE!!!! AS YOU CAN SEE I HAVE POSITIONED MYSELF IN FRONT OF THE DOOR!!!! I WOULD NOT SUGGEST TRYING THE WINDOW AS THE AIR CONDITIONER HAS NOT BEEN FED IN SEVERAL DAYS AND WOULD PROBABLY CONSUME YOU WHOLE!!!!!

I HOPE THE SOUR CREAM WAS WORTH IT!!!!!

WOOOOOOOSH!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3150103)

*BURP*

WOOOOOOSH!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3150126)

LET ME PUT IT TO YOU THIS WAY: DON'T TELL MY WIFE!!!!!

WOOOOOOSH!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3150068)

DOESN'T IT STRIKE YOU AS IRONIC THAT IT'S HARDER FOR YOU TO FIT THINGS INTO MY INNER CAVITY THAN YOUR OWN!!!!!!

SINCE YOU'RE USING ME TO STORE ITEMS YOU NEVER USE, WHY NOT THROW IN ALL THOSE UNOPENED PACKETS OF CONDOMS YOU HAVE IN YOUR DRESSER!!!! IF YOU NEED A PLACE TO PUT YOUR LEFTOVERS, JUST USE THE REFRIGERATOR AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD!!!!! YOU'RE OVER THERE EVERY OTHER WEEK ANYWAY!!!!

AND DON'T EVEN THINK YOU'RE GOING TO STORE YOUR HERPES ANAL CREAM INSIDE OF ME!!!!!

WOOOOOSH!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=208789&forum_id=2#3150173)