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How bad is the stigma against early-mid 30s single women?
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 2:39 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital Who have never been married? If they do end up married, do people snigger behind their backs at the wedding ceremony about how it took them so long to seal the deal with someone?
Really. I'm curious about IRL here, not just virgin XO aspie basementdwelling opinion.
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 2:42 AM Author: Black queen of the night masturbator who is "they"? im a single early 30s woman but i dont talk to anybody else really. except for posting here, and here the stigma is pretty bad. otherwise i havent noticed it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934327) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 2:50 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital So you're single and 30s and have no friends that you talk to?
Do you notice that the only doods who are interested in you are like 45 year olds?
I'm sure people don't come up to you and make you feel like shit on a day to day basis, but don't you ever fear that if you do get married, people will say something like "she didn't get married until 36, she must be some shit pure shit woman, poor dood." |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 2:53 AM Author: Black queen of the night masturbator who are these people? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934360) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 2:59 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital I'm in NYC.
A girl I was talking to had this legitimate concern. She is 31, turning 32 soon. She was contemplating moving back to her home (think city with a pro football team in flyover country) to meet a dood because she doesn't want to be one of these girls who gets married at 37.
She said she'd rather get married to the wrong dood in a year and just work hard to make things work than get married to the love of her life in 4-5 years and have the wedding announcement say she's 37 and that this is her first marriage. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:00 AM Author: Black queen of the night masturbator nobody said this to you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934373) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:01 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital Yes, someone did.
As a single woman who also lives in Manhattan, how typical are her fears? |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:02 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe not too typical in the sense that she's willing to marry/divorce than just wait for someone she actually likes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934376) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:04 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital She never said she'd divorce the guy. She actually said she'd be fine with sticking with things and would prefer that to being single.
How many girls in their early 30s are legitimately OK with waiting for someone they actually like, even if it might take them a few extra years and would mean marriage at 36-38 instead of 33-35? |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:06 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe idk. i'm 26 now and going to contact my ex-bf who abused me due to this post though. i guess that's better? cuz otherwise i'd just be pathetic being single at 30 right? maybe i should just stick things through. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934385) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:10 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital I don't think this girl meant that she'd stay in an abusive relationship. Just that she'd prefer being married in a year and a half to a nice guy that didn't really do it for her in certain ways (compatibility, chemistry, attraction) than get married in five years to a guy who was off the charts in every possible way.
She mentioned the social stigma she feels against women her age who are still single. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:14 AM Author: Beady-eyed lake half-breed yes brother this is VERY common. u basically have ur pick of hot 30 yo women who would rather marry a pasty dork they have no chemistry with than spend time trying 2 find someone they actually want. congrats & good luck 2 u brother (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934394) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:16 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital I would think that by this age the idea of ending up with someone they actually want is somewhat of a fantasy, no? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934400) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:18 AM Author: Beady-eyed lake half-breed yeah a totally hopeless fantasy. brother u will be a wolf among sheep just dont break 2 many hearts on ur matrimonial spree (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934404) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 7:05 AM Author: mind-boggling garnet property community account The only things that matter to women who are that desperate is the marriage ceremony and the ring, so after a few years, if they don't really like/love you, they will ask for a divorce.
They showed their friends that they are marriage worthy, have the ring, are now "divorced," and can probably get alimony, so they will just divorce a jerk after a couple years. IT's the same thing as women who just marry men for a green card. They divorced them right away unless they actually like/love the guy. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 11:17 AM Author: Fragrant immigrant station I don't agree with the first sentence. These kinds of women don't want to be thrown back into the dating arena again so they'll do whatever it takes to keep the marriage together. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20935120) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:16 AM Author: Black queen of the night masturbator dont worry dude, some chick will settle for you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934397) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:17 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital Maybe when I'm 45 I'll try out one of these desperate 30 year old chicks. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934402) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:22 AM Author: Black queen of the night masturbator :) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934407) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:02 AM Author: Black queen of the night masturbator lol what? not as prevalent as you would probably like (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934378) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:07 AM Author: idiotic electric hissy fit hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934386) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 2:55 AM Author: Yellow Fanboi Newt No stigma unless ARE country. Pushing 40 and no signs of marriage just draws sympathy since most people understand that she's miserable by that point. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934365) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:00 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital When is a girl considered pushing 40 for these kinds of concerns? 32? 33? 35? 37? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934374) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:06 AM Author: Yellow Fanboi Newt 36.75yrs (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934384) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:03 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe i feel like it's much worse on xo than anywhere else, even in ARE country. xo just purposely tries to make u feel like shit and for that reason, i don't post here often. Ironic that this was the first thread i saw on here too. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934379) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:08 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital But how hard is it for a woman in this age group to actually date and meet doods? I'm serious. Does a single 33 year old chick only attract men in their 40s and 50s, or men who have crappy jobs, or men who are 5'5" or azn? I'm just curious who these kinds of girls actually end up with and how they end up meeting these people if they're single at such an advanced age. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934390) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:17 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe i don't know, i'm 26. fuck you, why do u even care so much. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934403) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 7:08 AM Author: mind-boggling garnet property community account These are the same bullies on the bus with that old monitor. If the posters here were caught doing what they are doing, their parents, themselves would be forced to apologize.
The female posters here should set up a fund and get donations for dealing with all of the crazy abuse on this website. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:09 AM Author: Beady-eyed lake half-breed no stigma really (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934391) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:16 AM Author: big rough-skinned roast beef ,..,,,,...,,,,...,,.,.,.,.,,., killing it ITT. women are trolled so easily (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934398) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:19 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe i'm curious, if it's all trolling, why are there so many posts, articles, movies on this topic. See: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-single-ladies/8654/
people are too caught up on this subject in general.... people are single for all different reasons, it's not a fucking epidemic. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:31 AM Author: big rough-skinned roast beef it's not all trolling, but in the same way that shortdoodthreading isn't all trolling. the stigma is there but acting as if it's killselfworthy is the troll part. anyway i lolt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934415) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:33 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital This is a good way of putting it. I equate a single woman in her early 30s with a 5'6" dood, or an asian dood who wants to get with white girls.
Success is possible, but to get a desirable mate you either have to change your attitude, change your appearance, be very lucky, or just expand your definition of 'desirable'. And it definitely won't be easy or will take a short amount of time, and there will be a lot of doods who will dump the girl for a better offer. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:38 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe is a beautiful, successful girl in her early 30s really equatable to a 5'6" asian dood? I mean, come on... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934427) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:50 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital Yes.
If she really is 'beautiful' (and few women at that age can still be called 'beautiful'), people will wonder why she's still single. I've met a few chicks like this in my time and the first question on my mind is why the hell hasn't some dood voted with their feet to snap her up!
She will do very well if she limits her dating pool to 40+ doods - and she could catch a few great ones in this age group. Just like a 5'6" asian dood who is a banker and has all of the preftige points that Asians like will do very well with Asian women, the 30 year old 'beautiful' girl has to know her market, and that market is 40+ doods who don't want an immature 24 year old. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:52 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe that's funny... even as a 26 yr old, i already consider myself too old (I'm turning 27 this year) and considered dating 40+ year old guys.. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934448) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:59 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital I say go for it, if only so you know what it feels like. You're now at an age where it's not creepy to go that much older, even if it's uncommon.
Dating a decade up isn't for every girl, but it's something you'll have to find out for yourself. Some girls prefer it, some girls can't deal with it, and some girls don't care one way or another.
My advice is not to knock something until you've tried it. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 1:41 PM Author: Unholy flesh dysfunction resort oh god
please don't listen to the crazy people on this board |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:58 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe " I've met a few chicks like this in my time and the first question on my mind is why the hell hasn't some dood voted with their feet to snap her up!"
People wonder this about me... idk. I should just date any decent guy at this point, who's not out of my league. I almost don't want to go into law and just spend the year travelling, doing random shit and trying to meet guys. I don't want a stressful position with long hrs anymore and it does nothing for my dating life. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 4:02 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital Don't think in terms of dating leagues. People want all sorts of things. Of course if you limit yourself to old money scions or Olympic medalists you'll find yourself a spinster who anthropomorphizes her cats, but that's because there aren't many old money scions or Olympic medalists to go around, not because none of them will deign to date the likes of you.
You should make a point to never turn down a first date if a guy is nice, uncreepy and available (i.e. don't date a married dood). If you're not attracted, attraction may come in time and you might be able to find yourself able to make yourself catch feelings for someone simply because he's a nice guy who likes you. If, by the third or fourth date, you still don't have feelings for the dood, cut him loose. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 4:06 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe thanks. that's the thing, I can't feel attracted to most guys. And the ones I do... I feel intimidated by. I need a guy who's a bit quirky/off in some way to show he's not perfect as well.. not too much smarter than me either. It's really tough. Also I'm worried I may not have time for dating. are you a lawyer? how do you find the time to date if so. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934465) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 4:11 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital So here's your choice. WAIT to meet those guys that you're attracted to (which runs the risk of being single for longer), or downplay your need to be attracted to someone.
Think of things this way - Pick one of the following: having a 90% chance of getting married to a great dood within 2 years' time that you're not attracted to, or having a 40% chance of getting married within 8 years' time to an amazing dood who you're insanely attracted to and does everything for you.
I used to be a lawyer. I don't date that much. Maybe one or two dates a year. But I've had a few LTRs as well as shorter term relationships. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 4:21 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe which option do you want to pursue? seems like you're advocating for the former, which means you don't have to be alone forever... or a more substantial period of your life.
I think you're right that you do have to love yourself, as cliche as that sounds, and in a way I'm really glad I chose to stay single for so long. Why? Chances are, given my issues, I would have been dumped/hurt & single soon enough anyway. Guys aren't going to stick around with crazy chicks, no matter how hot they may be - they can get OK looking, sane girls who aren't so much trouble. And guys don't like stressful girls... so looking at it pragmatically, it was prob for the best anyway. I feel like I learned a lot of things on my own though, so sometimes I wonder when my 'issues' are really solved and when I'm ready to date. I think at some point u just have to go for it though... at this point I feel willing to embrace my faults and accept the many skills and talents I do have, and need to just try the dating thing out again... I'm just scared as I'm starting as a first year associate.. it will be really time-consuming obv, intense, in an area of law I'm not even sure I'll like... i'm scared of the added stress of dating, but if I find the 'right guy' maybe (for once) he won't make things more stressful but rather support me. Worth a shot perhaps...? |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 4:27 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital I am a dood. I am DEFINITELY advocating for chicks to pursue the former option. I don't think it's healthy for chicks to be single for more than a year or two. Chicks are wired differently and relationships (not just romantic ones) mean a lot more to girls. Girls define themselves through their relationships a lot more, and I notice that even the girls with the strongest senses of self begin to really doubt their worth when they are outside an LTR for more than a couple of years.
Everyone gets hurt. Everyone has issues. Relationships are a risk. There's no good time or bad time. You either choose to take the risk to let a particular person in your life at a certain time, or you do not. I know plenty of doods who stuck around with a crazy chick or with a stressful chick. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 4:32 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe "Girls define themselves through their relationships a lot more, and I notice that even the girls with the strongest senses of self begin to really doubt their worth when they are single for more than a couple of years."
Yeah this is true.. I've been single for years. That guy I was referring to who asked me out...I dated him 5 years ago. That was like my last relationship and it didn't even last that long... I kept thinking I need to find the right guy or sort things out with myself first... but that only delayed things. But also like you (or another poster) said below.. one of the main reasons why girls stay single is because they don't get out much, or aren't introduced to a lot of guys... and that's the case for me. idk. It's really tough because I feel defined now by my LACK of relationships and whenever someone asks me when my lack relationship was it makes me cringe.. i went out with a guy last year who asked me that question and i internally freaked out and just told him the truth ,but he was understanding and didn't care. But I can't even handle that question. I need to date someone who's a bit eccentric and won't care, I think. Dating people who are too "normal" and perfect by societal standards... freaks me out. I can't date people like that anymore. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 4:43 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital It honestly sounds like you have a few issues you have to deal with. It's OK to be frustrated by the lack of eligible suitors coming in and out of your life, and it's OK to have some insecurities as to how aspects of your background will be perceived.
But it sounds like you have this lack of confidence about the 5 years you spent single since your last relationship and this is sabotaging your confidence. When I say that girls define themselves by their relationships, I meant not just romantic relationships. Who are your friends? Family? Colleagues? People you know through interest groups? You may be single, but you're not a hermit. Focus on the people that you know in day-to-day life who love you for who you are, faults and all. There are plenty of people out there who haven't been in a serious LTR in the past 5 years. I don't see that as weird, deviant, or indicative of a major character flaw. A lot of doods I know had never been in a serious LTR until they met the girl they ended up marrying.
Just don't think limiting thoughts. It's not eccentric to have not dated someone in 5 years. And no one is 'perfect' or 'normal'. Everyone has skeletons. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 4:53 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe thanks dooder. that's true... honestly, that girl friend i met tonight for drinks.. i just met her randomly at the gym, she approached me because she remembered me working out at the undergrad gym 5 years ago.. and i've had people approach me randomly, yet i constantly feel invisible. I get double glances all the time but just avoid people's gaze and look away. I thought this was normal but it's only self-sabotaging myself and i think due to lack of self-confidence... the girl I met (just met her recently) hardly knows me but says she knows i'm successful, has heard of me i guess, and I'm just shocked because i never even thought of myself in that way. I'm still surprised... i don't see why ppl would really think i'm successful besides going to LS really, which a lot of people do. It's not that special... But anyway... if people have this perception of me, i should start seeing myself in a better light. I'm prob not as hopeless or invisible as i think. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934532) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:31 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital I think that for as long as there is an age that is considered the drop-dead date for women, there will be words written (fictional or non) about women who approach and surpass this particular age.
The marriage plot was the driving force behind Austen's novels.
I agree that people are single for all different reasons, but I do think that among a certain subset of people (namely urban, professional women), the reasons why they are single at a certain age are very particular. There are always those girls who are always in relationships and those girls who are always single. The girls in relationships have something that the chronically single girls lack, and it isn't always looks. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:38 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe that's true.. i know people who are legit models and always single. Looks are not everything. so sad that people here make so much of it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934425) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:46 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital Want to know my real opinion?
Being single has nothing to do with looks, age, personality (to some degree), cheerfulness, or your dating market value.
It has everything to do with two things: (1) how often you meet other eligible people and (2) your definition of eligible, i.e. what you want out of a relationship.
Someone who really values genuine compatibility as opposed to companionship and good values might have a harder time finding someone they really like. The girl that always falls into relationships may just really enjoy relationships and having a guy around. She may be able to catch feelings for a dood simply because he's interested in her and is a nice guy. Contrast that with another girl who might be 10x more attractive, but really needs to feel like a dood understands her and vice versa for her to catch feelings. Who's going to win the race to the altar?
We also can't lie about age and how important it is. Once a girl hits 30, she doesn't have the option of dating doods around her age, give or take 3-4 years. Many will already be in relationships and those who are still on the market will much prefer younger chicks. There are exceptions to this rule, but a 30 year old dood dating a 30 year old chick is like a 30 year old chick dating a 40 year old dood. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:52 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe that's exactly it. I went for drinks with a girl friend of mine today and she endorsed this opinion as well... she basically said i need to lower expectations/not be picky and settle if i really want to marry within a few months or years, but it won't mean i'll be happy. It was really interesting though because I told her about how I rejected my ex-bf basically just because of the way he asked me out again (he messaged me assuming i was single, would just automatically go out with him again once he broke up with someone else... I don't know, i just felt it showed a lack of self-respect..) but she said considering he's good-looking, we had chemistry, and it wasn't a bad breakup, and that she had no other options (would be different if she did), she would have went for it. It just completely changed my view of dating - I never settled for a guy just because I had "no other options". I'm completely comfortable being on my own, because that's usually the default for me unless it's a guy that really catches my interest. But there's other girls (like her) that just think completely differently, prob the majority of girls, and it's so alien to my view of dating... I think if I want to be successful in finding a relationship I need to adopt her view. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934447) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:56 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital There are a lot of girls like you who are totally comfortable on their own at 26 but then start freaking out at 30+. The girl above that I talked about was completely comfortable being single at 26 and turned down a bunch of great doods at that age because she just wasn't feeling it.
Then the early 30s set in and you realize that a lot of the doods that you previously went for are coupling up. Then they think of dating like walking through a desert. That puddle of stagnant pond scum might not be the ideal place to get a drink, but if you don't drink from it you might die of thirst even if you're currently not that thirsty. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 3:59 AM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe yeah. I'm just realizing this at 27. i'm going to get back with my ex, if he'll take me back.. it's just super awkward for a lot of reasons but i think it can work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934458) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 4:07 AM Author: Crimson bossy hospital Think of things this way. Singlehood isn't terrible. It can make life very convenient if you're in a position where you have to make a lot of life-changing decisions. It's much easier to make these kinds of decisions if you don't have a SO to consult. And I think it's healthy for people to spend some time single so they can work on certain aspects of their life, especially if they need to get therapy to deal with a particular issue, or have certain goals they want to accomplish before they feel ready to undertake a relationship. You have to love yourself before you can be in a position to let someone else in your life, and if you're not in a position to love yourself then please stay single and deal with your shit alone until you can.
But being in a relationship - even a boring, fuss-free, kind of mundane one where the butterflies aren't there and sex is something to be endured - is much, much better than spending your later years alone. Not everyone gets the kind of relationship where you're still madly in love and fucking like rabbits until you're 80. Where you're genuinely the other person's best friend, and you two have this "you and me against the world" mentality. If that's what you want, be prepared to be single for a lot longer because that's much harder to find. Don't settle for someone emotionally abusive, but please do consider settling for the nice guy who may not light a fire in your heart but who does all of the little things right. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 8:17 AM Author: Fragrant immigrant station I wouldn't call it a stigma IRL, but there is a definite bias against them in the dating pool. I am in my early 30s in a large city and I know a good amount of attractive women in their late 20s on upward who just can't get dates unless they either go for much older doods or unemployed doods, fat doods, bald doods and so on. The kinds of guys they dated and even rejected in their early to mid 20s only come to them for P&Ds now. It's sad. They put on a brave face each wedding season but after half a decade of being relegated to the singles table, some of them are figuring that maybe they'll have to give up on love to get marriage. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934624) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 8:20 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle Avocado Principal's Office as opposed to divorced with kids? not as bad. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20934627) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 11:24 AM Author: pale haunting mad-dog skullcap whorehouse None at all given that possibly the majority of women are single at 35 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20935130) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 11:31 AM Author: maniacal corner foreskin No stigma. If anything, getting married young is considered quite questionable. Being single in your 30's in NYC is normal. We don't stigmatize things that are normal.
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 11:52 AM Author: Fragrant immigrant station Being a single MALE in your 30s in NYC is normal. Being a single FEMALE is not.
There's no dating pool for these women except divorced guys in their mid 40s on up. If it were normal, then single women in their early 30s would be getting married in droves to all sorts of men, not just old creeps from the outer boroughs. My sister tells me that a friend of hers who is 31 only gets hollered at on Match.com by 40+ doods who live in NJ, have associates' degrees, and sell insurance. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 11:54 AM Author: apoplectic antidepressant drug I agree with you on the young thing, but disagree on the 30's thing.
There is a definite stigma to girls who aren't on a marriage track relationship by 31/32. I'd agree that, in NYC at least, getting married before 25 is a little out of the ordinary. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 11:58 AM Author: Fragrant immigrant station "There is a definite stigma to girls who aren't on a marriage track relationship by 31/32."
Absolutely, even in NYC. At the very least, you wonder why they aren't getting out of the house enough. Given internet dating where you can theoretically meet someone at 2 AM on a Wednesday night, there's no excuse. I can understand a decent girl being single at that age if she spent a year or two holed up in the 'burbs caring for a sick parent or if she spent a year deworming third world orphans, but not if she was living in NYC.
The biggest reason why people remain single is if they don't get lots of opportunities to meet new people. No excuse for that in NYC. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 12:35 PM Author: Salmon Abnormal Spot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20935445) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 12:38 PM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe Yeah but young, busy professionals don't always have time for Internet dating. I mean I tried it when I was 26, and got bombarded with messages as a girl...I mean at least 200 messages/week. That's on top of sorting through emails from profs, students, clients if you're doing a clinic course (or have a job), etc. It's exhausting to even think about and deterred me from online dating. I get hit on a lot when I go out to bars too but it's so much simpler to just not exchange glances with a guy or reject him IRL and not go thru all the time and BS of multiple emails and dates before finding out guy isn't even attractive. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20935453) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 12:40 PM Author: doobsian weed whacker u sound like a dumb shrew.. just be content u fucking bitch.. as a guy it is 10000 times harder (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20935460) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 12:45 PM Author: vermilion slap-happy dilemma is it really that tough to set aside 30 minutes a week to delete the emails that don't appeal to you? guys on these sites need to send out tons of personalized messages to get just a handful of responses; these are really petty complaints. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20935473) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 12:50 PM Author: Odious Infuriating Theater Giraffe Yeah I guess it was tougher for me because i didn't even live in the city - I lived in a small college town outside of major city (by 3 hrs) and a lot of these guys just wanted to sex me I think. Realized it was waste of time - commuting 6 hrs for sex on weekends is sort of lame lol...BUT now that im starting a new job in the city, thinking its worth trying but im scared the demands of being a BIGLAW first year associate may make it tough and I should wait it out at least a year. Need to make a good impression. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20935497) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 10:40 PM Author: Fragrant immigrant station No kidding.
People who complain about being single have to try harder to meet more people. It's a numbers game, plain and simple. A lot of the shrews price themselves out of the market because they couldn't be bothered putting in the effort just to talk to someone. |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 10:42 PM Author: mind-boggling garnet property community account They don't WANT to talk with someone or get married. It's a life choice. They can have millions of GOOD REASONS to not want to be married. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20938993) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 10:44 PM Author: Fragrant immigrant station Except that a lot of these shrews crow on and on about how they can't find a decent guy. If they just shut the fuck up and said "you know what, it's OK being single and I'm happy being single until I find the right guy, and if I never meet the right person I'd be happy being single forever" it would be different. But they don't say that. And if they do, they really don't mean that. Pretty much all shrews after a certain age would rather be married than single. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20939003) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 11:04 PM Author: mind-boggling garnet property community account You're really disgusting. No woman wants to be imprisoned in the same living space as a disgusting person who calls them "shrew" and doesn't respect them. I don't know any women who seek out abusive relationships. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20939108) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 11:50 PM Author: Fragrant immigrant station The man-hating is strong today. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20939424) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 12:47 PM Author: Lascivious school new version Avoid avoid avoid. Constant headaches trying to conceive for all my friends who married early 30s. One ended up adopting and another is in constant state of marital strife over the situation. The situation being that her eggs are all rotten. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20935480) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 10:41 PM Author: Fragrant immigrant station I think this is all dependent on the person. A dood I know just married a 40yo chick and they got pregnant on the first try. Fertility at 30 is like fertility at 20. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20938984) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 1:03 PM Author: splenetic razzle locale fat ankles ,..,,,,...,,,,...,,.,.,.,.,,., in the fight of his life to find a hot 33 year old woman who, in a state of desperation over her eggs, deign to touch his little pee pee. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20935562) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 11:06 PM Author: Anal spectacular knife stigma maintained mostly by teens/<23 yo guys
otherwise, early 30 yo chicks are doing a-ok |
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Date: June 22nd, 2012 11:54 PM Author: Peach locus Better than being an ugly guy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#20939446) |
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Date: February 7th, 2015 1:44 PM Author: irradiated mustard piazza why are there TWO GK pumos in every GK thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1976553&forum_id=2#27268414) |