Her parents set her up with a tall, good-looking Korean doctor and they were heading towards marriage. She spent weeks complaining that she always thought she’d end up with a white guy, and judging from her past, a similarly unspectacular white guy— but she was also smart enough to know she had a good thing with this doctor.

Somewhere in the intervening years, she changed her name from Soon-mi (not her real name, but something like that) to the whitest of white girl names, Haley. She gave this long explanation on Facebook about how she always wanted to be called that. This action, combined with her whining about her fiance, left a strong impression on how deep her self-hate went.

However, as far as I can tell, she'll still married to the doctor and they have school-aged kids now. You can’t tell by Facebook how happy a relationship is though.

Maybe she’s settled into motherhood and the priorities of a stable provider and the future of her children are more important now. Maybe the husband is gay or in love with his work. In all those cases, such an arrangement would work out.

Maybe she suddenly got woke. An acquaintance I used to mock as a “white guy pin cushion” for all the pink pencil dicks she had stuck in her recently went to an event and claimed she only dates Asian.

But every once in awhile, I see pictures of Haley's kids on my feed, and I shudder when I wonder if she’s passed on that self-hate to her kids.

So with that said, I think it’s hard to judge the writer's choice from the outside. I’m not unequivocally for or against this relationship.

I do think it’s hard to believe someone would abandon their self-hate so easily. On the other hand, I think a lot of the trepidation here sounds tinged with bitterness and change has got to start somewhere. Ultimately, it hinges on what he wants. Maybe he’s short-term-minded, and she’s hotter than anything he could get if he held out.

In any case, I wish them the best.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4319153&forum_id=2#38657044)