39 year old lawyer dies after eating too much Halloween candy (link)
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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:21 PM Author: Vivacious Unholy Tanning Salon
The investigation revealed that Garrish, 39, consumed approximately forty Hershey bars, dozens of Tootsie Rolls, a full pound of candy corn, a block of fudge, an entire bag of licorice, fifty Pixy Stix, as well as, somewhat ironically, a container of Life Savers.
"We've never seen anything like this, and want to remind the public of the real dangers involved with eating candy in such quantities," said Lt. Mike Hylar, a police officer who responded to the initial call. "I don't know if you've ever seen a grown man on the floor surrounded by Reese's Pieces..." he added before breaking down, clearly overcome by emotion.
Each year, at least 100 Americans die from candy-related deaths, with most occurring on Halloween.
http://cityjournal.com/news/lakeview-man-dies-candy-overdose.htm
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2#41241759) |
Date: May 3rd, 2025 10:22 AM Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (You = Privy to The Great Becumming™ & Yet You Recognize Nothing)
**New York Times – Metro Section**
**November 1, 2025**
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**He Billed Until He Burst: Midtown Attorney Dies After Halloween Candy Binge**
*By Noreen Valenti-Aminpour*
**NEW YORK** — Evan Garrish, 39, of Murray Hill, a senior associate at Halberd & Halberd LLP, was found unresponsive early Thursday morning beside a half-eaten bag of fun-sized Snickers and a glowing iPad still open to a redlined markup of an ERISA compliance memo.
According to preliminary autopsy reports, Garrish suffered acute glycemic arrest after ingesting what NYPD sources described as “a frankly astonishing” quantity of seasonal candy—including, but not limited to, candy corn, Milk Duds, and what one paramedic referred to as “at least nine Bit-O-Honeys.”
Coworkers described Garrish as “relentlessly diligent” and “quietly jittery,” noting that he had recently joked about skipping firm-sponsored flu shots “to save time for billing.”
“He loved two things,” said his paralegal, Lila Zheng: “Billable hours and candy corn. In that order.”
Garrish’s death has reignited debate within New York’s legal circles about the toxic interplay between long hours, glucose dependence, and “performative wellness culture.”
“It’s a tragedy,” said senior partner Milton Sclade, pausing outside the firm’s 38th-floor conference center. “We’ve already updated our handbook to recommend no more than five Almond Joys per workday. We’re also piloting a grief mindfulness session on Teams next Friday.”
His last Slack message, timestamped 1:13 a.m., read simply:
> “Running a little hyper but should be done with the Non-Compete Appendix by 2ish. Also ate 47 candy pumpkins. Nauseous. Don’t tell Tabitha.”
Garrish is survived by his houseplant, a Bluetooth mug warmer, and a sealed envelope addressed “For When They Make Me Partner.”
**Link:** [www.nytimes.com/evan39-halloween-candy-tragedy](https://www.nytimes.com/evan39-halloween-candy-tragedy)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2#48901049)
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