Date: June 19th, 2009 1:09 PM Author: alcoholic elastic band
i fled once; went to nam and opened a small waterside bar. a normal asian couple finished their mudslides and on the check they wrote "whokebe doesn't surf." i got back to my apartment and a bottle of viva smart sat atop my desk, and attached to the mouth was my new moniker and password.
Date: June 19th, 2009 1:11 PM Author: alcoholic elastic band
poor kid just had a finger cramp from working fiver over. i heard "the management" didn't believe that was the reason he stopped posting. his own dentist couldn't believe those were his crowns.
Date: June 19th, 2009 1:18 PM Author: alcoholic elastic band
similar story. i was eating ribs in houston and the waitress told me the chef wanted to see me. i go back and he opens the walkin cooler; the sick fuck has jim adler hanging from his ankles, alive, barely, with a flap of skin hanging off the left side of his torso. the chef makes a belly laugh and says to jim "good thing your buddy didn't order a whole rack."
Date: June 19th, 2009 1:49 PM Author: Peach bbw theater
anyone else get the feeling that our union leadership isn't really on our side in this deal?
so, okay - we start off with the famous ten DEMANDS - not REQUESTS, but fucking DEMANDS. we even called them "The Ten Demandments."
then the first one - lawsuit indeminification for "posts in the due course of business" - gets suddenly and inexplicably dropped. the union bigshots say it's because "they're comfortable it won't be an issue."
BULL. SHIT.
then the next demandment falls. then two more get weakened. then another gets "modified."
these weren't huge demands - this was basic stuff. AutoAdmit didn't BECOME a multibillion-dollar enterprise without the paid poster corps. why do we take all this shit from management?
fuck; hold on dooder; there's some kind of fire in my basement...
Date: July 13th, 2009 5:46 PM Author: effete hospital marketing idea
Hey, at least you're always scheduled for the good shifts. I've been on the 10pm-6am slot for the past three weeks. Nothing but n-threaders, Aspies and that one dude in China.
Yeah the money's good in theory but Rach keeps "accidentally" making my paychecks out to ..,.,.,.,;,,.;,. instead of ..,.,.,.,;,,,;.. Is the extra 3 days of float really worth giving that kind of shady treatment to your employees (excuse me, I mean "independant contractors")
Told MPP I wanted out yesterday. This morning I woke up with a dull headache and the faint taste of copper on the air. Walked into the living room to find an albino buffalo lying dead on the carpet and the word "preftigious" written in its blood in calligraphic lettering on the otherwise pristine wall. The beast had been stabbed sixteen times, each a clean, deep cut through a major organ. Say what you will, but the man does quality work.
Date: October 9th, 2009 12:37 PM Author: Supple Dun Potus
During a romantic dinner with my wife at Olive Garden a few weeks ago, I finally agreed to give up "the life" at her incessant urgings. The next morning I woke up to find firefox opened to xoxo with a prewritten post containing my personal information, a list of my monikers, and links to my most offensive threads. The mouse cursor rested directly on the Post button.
Date: August 18th, 2010 4:04 PM Author: sepia community account nibblets
So I was having a g chat w/ *bel*
Me: Yeah, my dog just had a bunch of little puppies. Finally, slow bitch
*bel*: Haha, i LOVE puppyd00ds!
Me: I know, they are the best. But, I looked over and saw my wife crying. The thing is, *bel*, I need to stop poasting. She wants to have kids, but can't raise them by herself if I am megapoasting 100 hours a week.
*bel*: You're saying you want a raise?
Me: I'm saying I want out.
*bel*: I'm sorry to hear that. Hopefully you will reconsider.
The next day, I got home to find all of my puppyd00ds murdered. The police said that the weapon was most likely some chic in-season purse. In blood, on the walls, it said "RECONSIDER". The police asked me if I knew who did it. I shook my head and said no. My wife and I are now divorced because I can't quit. I'm not allowed to. It's better for her this way.