1929: Your first year of school, the stock market crashes and hyperinflation comes back with a vengeance. You fall in love with Little Sophie because she shares a crust of bread with you.

1933: Oh look, this cool alpha veteran's just been elected. Happy days are here again! Time to join his youth club.

1939: Cool alpha veteran's just started another world war. You're conscripted. Sophie agrees to marry you when you return.

1941: Cool alpha veteran decides winning's too easy. Time to invade Russia!

1945: You're in full retreat after barely surviving the winter and the horrors of Stalingrad. You're captured by the Soviets and sent to a forced labor camp. Your best friend Fritz dies.

1947: When you return home, you find Sophie was gangraped and now is the official mistress for a Soviet major.

1949: You work long hours to support the first socialist government on German soil, most of which goes to pay reparations to the Soviets.

1953: Some of your bros riot over the quota increases. They're shot. You keep your head down and marry Hilda, Fritz's widow. Save a little, maybe you can bribe enough authorities to get to Berlin.

1961: You finally get to Berlin and fuck, they've got this wall up. Well, if you can't beat them, join them. You denounce a couple of your contacts to the secret police.

1976: Your daughter gets into the Olympics, but they've made her a man. Dudes at Stasi want to install some cameras in your shower.

1989: Wall finally comes down. You're unemployed now! A bunch of rich carpetbaggers from the West come in and buy everything up. You learn that Hilda was spying on you for the Stasi.

1998: You're ready to retire. Instead of your state-funded pension, you get a pittance from the private company reconstructing everything.

2003: Agenda 2010, time to reduce those pesky entitlements. But hey, these Euros are doing well. Retirement's not so bad.

2010: Fucking Greeks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2268097&forum_id=2#23289060)

2. The highest estimate for death rates in forced labor camps was 45%. Most survived, especially those captured after 1945.

3. He was with 4th Panzer.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2268097&forum_id=2#23297389)

1922: your ethnic heritage is recorded at birth.

1929: Your first year of school, the stock market crashes and hyperinflation comes back with a vengeance. You fall in love with Little Albert because he shares a crust of bread with you.

1933: Oh look, this cool alpha veteran's just been elected. Happy days are here again!

1937: mommy why are we moving into this gross slum

1939: you get a pretty yellow star!

1941: blowing guards for protein

1942: time for a shower

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2268097&forum_id=2#23289215)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2268097&forum_id=2#23289246)

1929: Your first year of school, the stock market crashes and hyperinflation comes back with a vengeance. You fall in love with Little Sophie because she shares a crust of bread with you.

1933: Oh look, this cool alpha veteran's just been elected. Happy days are here again! Time to join his youth club.

1939: Cool alpha veteran's just started another world war. You're conscripted. Sophie agrees to marry you when you return.

1943: Kill 13 Gestapo Officers, get placed in prison.

1944: Freed by Aldo the Apache, join a brutal group of resistance fighters and partisans in France

Later, 1944: Fucking Brit blows your cover. Die.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2268097&forum_id=2#23289238)

Serious bullet dodge.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2268097&forum_id=2#23293467)

1929: Your first year of school, the stock market crashes and hyperinflation comes back with a vengeance. Your father raises the price of pork in his markets to 15 million marks per kilogram and invests in wheelbarrow assembly factories. Ad tagline for the best-selling model: der Froliche Kashtoter. Sophie passes you love notes in between passing out in hunger.

1933: Oh look, this veteran's just been elected. Dad says he's a one-balled weirdo, but it can't hurt to join his youth club.

1939: Veteran's just started another world war. Good thing Uncle Karl recommended you for that SS Obersturmbannfurher position. Sophie marries you. You fuck Liesl during lunch breaks from your Berlin day job.

1941: Veteran decides winning's too easy. Time to invade Russia!

1945: You're in Argentina with sixty kilograms of melted Jew-teeth packed in your luggage.

1947: When you return home under a false passport, you find Sophie was gangraped and now is the official mistress for a Soviet major. You're unperturbed, having left her for the 16 year old daughter of an Argentinian diplomat eighteen months ago.

1949: You attach yourself remora-like to the influx of Marshall Plan dollars flooding your country and radically transform your father's old tank assembly line into an automobile factory.

1953: Some of your bros are starting to get out of prison, having avoided the rope at Nuremburg. You have a beer with them and both hum the Horst Wessel song in the one bar where you can still get away with that kind of thing.

1961: You head to Berlin on business and fuck, they've got this wall up. Well, if you can't beat them, join them. You call your old pal Fritz, who's now in charge of a Stasi cell. He lets you torture a student just for the hell of it.

1972: Your son gets into the Olympics and several Jews get killed. You smile. Colleagues think it's only because of the former.

1989: Wall finally comes down. New markets! A bunch of rich carpetbaggers from the West come in and buy everything up that you didn't already outsource to South Carolina. You retire comfortably.

1998: You get bored and take a ministerial and/or philanthropic job in the government or a major cultural icon.

2003: Agenda 2010, time to reduce those pesky entitlements. You're mildly jealous of Russian oil oligarchs with sweet Chelsea flats, so you head off to the local sex dungeon to get a younger woman to beat it out of you with a riding crop.

2010: Fucking Greeks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2268097&forum_id=2#23297133)

I enjoyed this, would read again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2268097&forum_id=2#23309876)