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Thea: your ass-wiping method is TTT
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:39 PM Author: Misanthropic orange pistol marketing idea 1. Balls get in the way. 2. Can't see what you're doing. 3. Kept thinking my hand would hit toilet water. 4. My ass was on the back of the seat, where I don't like to be. |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:40 PM Author: Sienna associate correct on all four counts
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:46 PM Author: Chocolate center 1. Apparently I'm the only man on the board who doesn't store his testicles inside his asshole.
2. Oh, but you CAN see what you're doing when you reach around behind you? WHERE YOUR EYES *DON'T* GO?
3. Which means you have a lot more flexibility to reach where you need to, as opposed to your method where you can barely reach to the nexus in the first place. That said, it's a pretty simple matter of staying close to the body instead of skimming the surface.
4. Well, yeah, there's no way around that. I don't like being so far forward on the seat.
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:47 PM Author: maize fat ankles nowag wait....i just tried your method earlier. my cock kept getting in the way. honest. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383384) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:49 PM Author: Chocolate center Duh. This is not for black dudes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383406) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:49 PM Author: Misanthropic orange pistol marketing idea Or those with penises longer than one inch? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383424) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:50 PM Author: vigorous gaming laptop correct (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383433) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:54 PM Author: Chocolate center Touche. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383502) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:49 PM Author: vigorous gaming laptop that is a problem I encountered too. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383408) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:48 PM Author: vigorous gaming laptop I think you have small balls. I couldn't get my hand back there without rubbing my wrist all over them. It was gross. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383391) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:48 PM Author: Spectacular cuck You're admitting that balls are gross? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383398) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:49 PM Author: vigorous gaming laptop I'm in my work clothes and I don't want my wrist rubbing up on them. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383417) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:51 PM Author: Chocolate center They do tend to withdraw while I'm on the pot, again, I'll give y'all that. But really, at the risk of being circular, grow a pair. There's not a damn thing wrong with coming into contact with your own balls.
The ideal way to do this is to lay your forearm flush along the junction of your thigh and pelvis, clear of the package, and do all the work with the wrist. Then when you're ready to inspect, you can slide your arm back out, always using your thigh/pelvis as a guide so that you know you're not going to smear the candy wrapper on yourself. Take a look, see what you need to see (without ever pulling the paper all the way up out of the bowl), then drop it and get another sheet set if you need it. |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:52 PM Author: Hilarious candlestick maker Withdraw? Mine hang down between my legs. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383482) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:54 PM Author: vigorous gaming laptop I don't even understand what he means. My almost touch the water when I am shitting. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383501) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:54 PM Author: Chocolate center Jesus. Law students are biological freaks of nature. They have saggy balls and assholes coming out their spines.
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:55 PM Author: Hilarious candlestick maker His must be the size of grapes.
Mine are kind of like 2 large brown eggs hanging in the toe of a loose sock. |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:56 PM Author: vigorous gaming laptop exactly, and we are the "freaks" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383526) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:01 PM Author: Chocolate center Larger than grapes, smaller than large eggs. Maybe medium eggs. Not sure what color.
Sometimes they hang low, sometimes they're up tight. When shitting, they're usually up tight.
It's a temperature control mechanism. The cooler your surroundings, the tighter to your body they will be. It's typically cool in my bathroom, particularly when sitting on a cold toilet seat a few inches above cold water.
If you guys never have your balls retract, congratulations. You're probably all shooting blanks.
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:03 PM Author: vigorous gaming laptop They contract when I run and workout, but I can't remember them contracting when I shit though. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383603) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:03 PM Author: Hilarious candlestick maker I usually dump after I get up in the morning. They're warm from being wrapped in a sheet all night. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383608) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:48 PM Author: Spectacular cuck 176 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383394) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:49 PM Author: Misanthropic orange pistol marketing idea 1. Mine hang between my legs, where I have to reach for your method.
2. See answer for #3. You can then bring it out and look at it. Also being closer, you can tell what you're doing better.
3. Your ass is closer to the back so you can quickly get your hand in and out, as opposed to the front where you have further to go and your hand is way inside the bowl.
4. Ha! |
Date: May 5th, 2004 2:50 PM Author: impressive mind-boggling institution newt hello?!
http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=22601&mc=14&forum_id=2 |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:52 PM Author: Misanthropic orange pistol marketing idea I must have missed that one. sorry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383467) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:50 PM Author: Sienna associate I think the fact that Thea is the ONLY guy that does this pretty much shows that he's wrong, not the rest of us. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383442) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:53 PM Author: Chocolate center I may be the only guy in this forum but I assure you I cannot be the only one. My way just makes too much sense.
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:54 PM Author: vigorous gaming laptop I hope you teach your son (if it is a boy) to do it this way. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383507) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:55 PM Author: Sienna associate Yes, you said you learned it from your father, so apparently there are others. You are most definitely wrong though. The ass is to be wiped from behind. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383519) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:02 PM Author: Chocolate center I assume that's where I learned it but I don't remember. And I'm not about to ask either parent. Bad enough I asked my wife what she does.
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:51 PM Author: Hilarious candlestick maker I honestly thought I was the OP.
Correct.
It's TTT.
There's really no way to do it without smearing trunk on your junk. |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:56 PM Author: olive station Wait? People reach into the bowl and under? Gross. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383525) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:56 PM Author: vigorous gaming laptop exactly (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383531) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:57 PM Author: Sienna associate Yeah, how retarded is that? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383535) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:58 PM Author: Spectacular cuck Wouldn't you straighten up first? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383555) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:58 PM Author: indigo aromatic set i'm confused... they're reaching from the front with a toward-the-butt motion?
or... is it a forward swipe? nasty.
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:58 PM Author: Sienna associate Reach down like you're going to pick up something your sitting on from between your legs. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383556) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 2:59 PM Author: Spectacular cuck It's apparently different for men because of their stuff in the front. I'm not sure I understand either. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383561) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:00 PM Author: olive station I'm not understanding why anyone would do this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383577) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:04 PM Author: Spectacular cuck Yes - why is it bad again to wipe from behind? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383618) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:05 PM Author: Chocolate center Because it's easier, cleaner, a more natural movement and makes more sense. It's plainly obvious to me that toilet seats are designed to facilitate this method. I honestly can't understand how the other way is supposed to be better or more graceful or more natural. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383631) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:01 PM Author: indigo aromatic set yeah. it's not something i want to think about too much, but it just seems strange. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383586) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:03 PM Author: Chocolate center Reaching into the bowl is inevitable unless you're going to be incredibly messy and stand up like Harrison does it.
So now it's just matter of which path you take. |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:05 PM Author: olive station You're not even coming close to anything bad if you reach behind though. Why would you want to have your arm stretch over all that toilet water? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383636) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:08 PM Author: Chocolate center You're no closer to the toilet water going from the front than from the back. Asshole's still in the same place.
If you're one to bring the soiled paper out for a look, you'll be pulling it past your back and side without being able to see what you're doing. Going from the front, you don't have to pull it past anything, just move your hand forward so you can look down and see. Apparently some guys have issues viewing around their genitalia, which frankly I find difficult to believe, but whatever. Shouldn't be a problem for you though.
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:10 PM Author: olive station Your hand is no closer either way, but a greater surface area of your arm is at risk of coming into contact with it if you reach from the front. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383692) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:13 PM Author: Chocolate center I suppose, but this risk doesn't seem significant to me at all, unless your toilet only affords a couple inches of clearance between the surface of the water and the bottom of the seat. I've never known a throne like that. There's usually a good six inches or more. Plenty of room to do whatever you like without worry. And again, it's not like you're swooping and flitting around all over the place down there. There's a specific objective, and it's on your body, not on the water. No reason at all to be throwing curve balls. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383729) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:19 PM Author: Misanthropic orange pistol marketing idea Never known a throne like that? I know many. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383830) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:00 PM Author: Milky Vivacious Death Wish I don't think its that big a deal. I've wiped my ass in any number of different ways.
You guys must all be robots if you mechanically wipe your ass the same exact way every single time. |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:01 PM Author: claret school idea he suggested I test new and different methods. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383587) |
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Date: May 5th, 2004 3:03 PM Author: Milky Vivacious Death Wish a true renaissance man (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#383606) |
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Date: May 28th, 2004 4:08 AM Author: Aggressive Space Reading Party (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#580900) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 1:35 PM Author: Hilarious candlestick maker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#2921557) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 1:41 PM Author: Misanthropic orange pistol marketing idea I reiterate: my position on this issue remains the same, regardless of the political and social events of the past year. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#2921609) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 4:27 PM Author: Laughsome Toaster (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=23163&forum_id=2#2922850) |