Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:04 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
2639 BCE - Following a royal audience with Moses, Grand Vizier and first-born son Ra-Dalakh recommends to Pharaoh that the Israelites be made to work longer hours on half rations as punishment, loudly scoffing "what does that faggot Hebrew think his God can possibly do?"
Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:29 AM Author: bisexual shrine corn cake
759 BC - Remusolph insists that the Aventine Hill is "the most preftigious" and challenges Romulus: "You like that faggoty Palatine Hill, then why don't you get your ass down here like a man."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:07 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
331 BCE - Persian regiment commander Darayudolsh spends the majority of the spring campaign drinking wine with his troops, secure in the knowledge that no dipshit pubescent Macedonian was going to make it across the Nile.
Date: November 3rd, 2020 12:17 AM Author: Concupiscible principal's office jewess
This is the sort of shit that originally got me hooked on XO - there's too many deranged pumo single posts / Rudolph talking amongst himself between 5 pumo alts etc on the front page, maybe it's the election I dunno - even just like 6 months ago I remember logging on and arguing / talking about Civil war in an epic thread one Saturday morning - i could do that on here every day
Date: November 3rd, 2020 12:21 AM Author: Tan whorehouse french chef
Yes. I got here in 2017 and there is a clear decline since then -- and it seems that it was already on the downslope. I come back now and again because it is still a unique venue that makes me laugh more than most others, but it's a shell of what it was.
Date: November 3rd, 2020 12:27 AM Author: Pumonymous
I found the site in 2014 and it was unbelievable for a few years. I make a point of bumping these types of UNESCO World Heritage Threads every now and then
Date: November 3rd, 2020 3:14 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
it just shocks me that i came up with this thread and wrote the first several entries SEVEN YEARS AGO. and even then the bort was on a huge decline from its true glory days of the mid to late 2000s, when there was all sorts of hilarity flowing and much less faggy politicsthreading.
Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:08 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
33 AD - Sent to dispose of the body of Jesus, Rudolpha of Agrippa elects to go out drinking Saturday night with his friends and several whores, reasoning that "it will still be there tomorrow."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:10 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
999 - Cardinal Rodolfu throws his earthly possessions at Emperor Otto III to taunt the Westphalian monarch, warning him that the Slavic hordes "about to overrun his kingdom" were a certain sign of the events foretold in Revelation and the Second Coming.
Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:11 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
1528 - Conquistador Juan Hernan Diego Nepomuceno Castillan Rudolfo y Garcia decides to jump into the local ollamalitzli game, figuring "win or lose, it will be a good time."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:11 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
February 3, 1637 - Haarlem financier Wouter Ruudoelpsch audibly sighs in relief, having finally secured his retirement nest egg through the purchase of 16 Bizarden tulip bulbs.
Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:11 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
July 2, 1863 - Col. Jebediah Lightfoot Rudolph politely disagrees with Lt. Gen. James Longstreet, assuring General Lee that "all our boys have to do is charge right at that there copse of trees."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:12 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
April 14, 1912 - John Jacob Rudolph III grunts irritably before returning to slumber, assuring his neurotic wife that "this iceberg business will be taken care of by morning."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:12 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
October 2, 1919 - Chicago Herald and Examiner sports columnist Walt Rudolph predicts a sweep of the Reds, writing "although an influx of dumb money has fallen on Cincinnati in the last couple days, our nine are so clearly the superior base ball team one wonders at the lunacy of it all."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:20 AM Author: bisexual shrine corn cake
September 3, 1929 - Irving Rudolph Whitney declares that the bull market will proceed indefinitely "as there is no end in sight," that the financials of the United States have "never been stronger," and that there is no more guaranteed way for "the common man to profit than to purchase blue chip stocks now, now, now."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:12 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
May 3, 1937 - John Stanton Rudolph pauses in his tasteful Frankfurt apartment, ticket to Lakehurst and dinner jacket in hand, to ask the portrait of his late great-uncle "how the bottom of the Atlantic tastes, faggot?"
Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:44 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
39 - Tiberius Antonius Rudolphus is heard bragging to the assembled Senate that he was so important Caligula asked him "to come alone" to the royal palace at Capri.
Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:58 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
1974 - University of Washington Kappa Kappa Gamma Stephanie Mays Rudolph tells her roommate she's going to accept a ride back to campus in the charming law student's brown Volkswagen, as "his poor arm is in a sling, what could he possibly do to me?"
Date: December 3rd, 2013 11:54 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
November 21, 1963 - Michael Rudolph, Dallas Jaycees President, excitedly recites the local weather forecast to his political idol, suggesting he "keep the top down to enjoy the sunshine."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 12:06 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
November 8, 1938 - Munich butcher Shlomo Chaim Rudolph reinvests his profits in purchasing his neighbors' business properties, telling them at the closing that they "were running scared like kleine chickens."
After rebuking numerous affectionate pleas from his girlfriend and lover, teacher, Christa McAuliffe, William Blitz Rudolph, awash in aftershave and overconfidence, casually declared: Babe, I'll KISS you when you get back.
Date: December 3rd, 2013 12:48 PM Author: Insanely creepy cuckoldry
September 17th, 1929: Rudolph Yarborough III, an aristocrat from Connecticut sells all of his real estate and and invests all liquid cash into the stock market, remarking to his friends and family that he "is gonna ride this [expletive] roller coaster to the moon."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 1:05 PM Author: Jet Sanctuary
April 24, 1915 - Determining he won't be walking much, Arat Rudolphian neglects to mend the hole in his shoes or bring a coat to his favorite intellectual coffee house in Constantinople
Date: December 3rd, 2013 7:49 PM Author: talented church reading party
April 10, 1912, Sir William Rudolph Hemsley III, a famous shitlib of his time, books last minute passage in steerage class on the RMS Titanic. If it is good enough for my porter, it is good enough for me.
Date: December 3rd, 2013 7:59 PM Author: mildly autistic kink-friendly chapel really tough guy
79 AD - While traveling, Rudolphus decides to spend the night at his favorite inn in Pompeii. "I'll order a steak between rare and medium rare," he muses, oblivious to the smoke clouds in the distance. "No one prepares a steak between rare and medium rare like the Pompeiians."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 8:42 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
December 3, 2013 - Rudolph doesn't bother taking two minutes to read the thread, employing the faultless logic that if a particular word doesn't appear as a search term, nothing related to that word could possibly be in the entirety of the thread text.
Date: December 3rd, 2013 8:47 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
April 8, 1942 - After being taken prisoner of war outside Manila by Japanese troops, Sergeant Anthony W. Rudolph contemplated the bright side, figuring that he at was least done with all the goddamned marching for a while.
Date: December 3rd, 2013 8:53 PM Author: 180 red new version
September 10, 2001, Lt. Rudolph Jones (ret.), gay lover of Kiwi Camara, lisped to him the night before a major scotus oral argument, "kiwi, don't worry about court on thursday, mr. olson will be so busy banging his wife after her trip that he'll never have time to prepare and you'll win for sure."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 8:53 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
4481 BC - Assistant Chief Engineer Rub el-Daf drafts a list of upgrades to his Babel apartment he will soon purchase with the cost savings of using illegal foreign labor on the tower project.
Gustus Rudolphe, displeased at his wife's impulsive desire to leave the play American Cousin early, turned to his insolent betrothed and decisively declared: The ending my dear, you will absolutely LOVE the ending.
Date: December 3rd, 2013 9:15 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
March 3, 1991 - LAPD Sergeant Robert "Scrappy Bob" Rudolph directs his partner to "go ahead and kick him a few more times, it's not like anyone's watching."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 9:29 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
November 17, 1968 - NBC producer Ernie T. Rudolph, irritated at the calls already clogging his switchboard, directs his engineers: "Fuck it, game's over. Run Heidi."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 9:39 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
April 18, 1775 - Rear Admiral George Septimus Rudolph, 26-year veteran of His Majesty's Navy, dismisses his young lieutenant with a brusque "it's a church, idiot. It's always lit up."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 9:42 PM Author: richard clock (ggtp)
July 11, 1995
Srebenica native Edin Rudolfic assures his friends that they can "stop being such scared bitches" about the advances of Mladic's army, as he has some chill Dutch buddies in town that will surely protect everyone.
Date: December 3rd, 2013 9:46 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
3967 BC - Radafa hugs her sister goodbye, saying "Lot will take care of you no matter where you end up. Just promise you'll turn around and wave to me once you make it past the city walls."
Date: December 3rd, 2013 9:49 PM Author: richard clock (ggtp)
April 1964 - Norwegian mariner Arvid Rudolf pulls into port at Douala, Cameroon and makes a beeline for the dirtiest bathhouse in town, reasoning no one will ever possibly know if he takes a few BBCs down in Africa.
Date: December 3rd, 2013 10:12 PM Author: cocaine farts
1 September 1914: Count Hermann von Rudolf und Mutterfickenberg, aide-de-camp to Colonel General von Kluck, messages Berlin to note he is going to send an extra 25% of the German First Army's men, on top of what was already requested, back east for service on the Russian front. "The remaining soldaten are more than enough to bring a swift end to the war in the West, and we will be marching down the Champs-Élysées in a week!"
Date: December 4th, 2013 12:21 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
September 1, 1983 - John Jacob Stanton Rudolph smirks and shakes his head whimsically at the portraits of his ancestors hanging on the wall of his Manhattan apartment as he hurries out the door to JFK, en route to Seoul.
Date: December 4th, 2013 12:59 PM Author: maniacal elastic band
In 1846 Rudolph Donner, after consulting with a drunken Sioux outside a saloon, assures his companions that the California Trail takes far too long. "You guys, this redskin just told me about an old Indian trail that's soooo much quicker."
Diplomatic Attache, Kyle Bender Rudolph, when asked by confidant, Ambassador J. Christopher Stevens ,if they should leave through the back door where the waiting armored car was waiting, replied No, sir..just sit tight, the Marines are almost here.
Date: December 4th, 2013 2:24 PM Author: dark feces blood rage
May 18, 1980, 8:32 AM: USGS geologist Rudolph Johnston, relaxing on a secluded ridge in the Cascades, sends a fateful radio message: "VANCOUVER! VANCOUVER! This is just a minor tremor, nothing to worry about here faggots."
Date: December 4th, 2013 10:22 PM Author: Hideous magical dog poop institution
September 11, 2001. Ziah bin-Rudolph storms the cockpit of a plane bound for SFO from Newark. He exclaims "These pussy Americans will sit back in their seats and die, better watch out Bush. I'm coming for that ass"
Date: March 15th, 2022 10:46 PM Author: Fracture in the Maidenhead (gunneratttt)
btc closed at $1,078.28 the date this was poasted. nocoiners celebrated as btc crashed later this month and went back below four figures, where it remained until 2017.
Date: December 5th, 2013 1:26 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
216 BC - Commodus Gaius Rudolphicanus senses the Carthaginian troops led by Hannibal are weak in the center of their lines, and gleefully presses his advantage.
Date: December 5th, 2013 1:28 AM Author: amethyst disgusting set crotch
December 7, 1941 Kermit Rudolph receives a radar operator report of a large flight of planes on their way to Pearl Harbor, and determines not to worry because those are our B-17s.
Date: December 5th, 2013 1:46 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
April, 1939 - Minister de Guerre Jean Phillipe de Roudolphe gives a rousing speech to the assembled nobles at his Paris manse, emphatically declaring how "our brother Maginot's line is impenetrable and unflankable, and no Frenchman will ever surrender."
Date: December 5th, 2013 1:50 AM Author: Razzle karate
June 24, 1812 - Rudolpheon Bonaparte marches his Grand Armée across the Neman River, beginning his invasion of Russia. He was overheard advising his generals "This campaign shouldn't take too long, go ahead and pack lightly. Summertime in Moscow!"
Date: December 5th, 2013 1:53 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
73 - Rudolphus ben-Yair spits at the Roman soldiers hundreds of yards below, delighted that those goyim shitheads had no way of scaling Masada's walls.
Date: December 5th, 2013 2:00 AM Author: richard clock (ggtp)
October 1, 1908 -- Detroit industrialist Alexander S. Rudolph mocks Henry Ford's newest production, branding it the "Model TTT" in a press conference announcing his new investment plan: going "all in" on the steam carriage
Date: December 5th, 2013 2:25 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
950 BC (est) - Rudlakshmi Kaurava, overlooking the fields at Dharmakshetra, predicts a quick and bloodless victory for his side, once his "dumbass cousin Arjuna quits making useless small talk with that prole blue-skin charioteer."
Date: December 5th, 2013 2:27 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
1896 - Karthik Rudopjee, columnist for the Times of India, predicts that the newfangled "water closet will indubitably replace the street as every Hindustani household's toilet of choice" within the decade.
Date: December 5th, 2013 2:43 AM Author: rough-skinned swashbuckling dragon toaster
August 29, 1992 -- Noted foreign terrorist Rudlfo 'Rudy' Rane, AKA 'The Rane of Terror' is confronted by former police officer John Cutter while attempting to make an escape from custody aboard a commercial jet airliner. Advised by Cutter to pick a consistent strategy in the chance game of roulette, Rane responded, "No thanks, I'm going to stick with always betting on red."
Date: December 5th, 2013 10:19 AM Author: maniacal elastic band
1984, Stu Rudolph, General Manager of the Portland Trailblazers, argues vehemently for drafting Sam Bowie with the second pick in the draft. "You can't teach height, gentleman".
Date: December 5th, 2013 11:09 AM Author: Diverse stead brethren
April 21, 1491 - Jose Tavares Rudolpha, advisor to King John II of Portugal, pens his recommendation to deny funding to an upstart Genoa sailor trying to find a new route to India. Reasoning that the voyage would inevitably fail, Rudolpha ends his screed "let the fool sail off the edge of the fucking world."
Date: December 5th, 2013 11:18 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
1958 - Joao Gilberto do Rudolphinho, assistant manager to the Brazilian national soccer team, argues for leaving the teenaged Pele off the squad headed to Sweden, vehemently asserting that "he's just too young to make an impact this year."
Date: December 5th, 2013 11:24 AM Author: maniacal elastic band
1971 Ford Project Manager Chuck Rudolph demands extra leg room for rear passengers in the upcoming Pinto. "Listen buddy, I don't give a fuck where you have to put the gas tank, people gotta stretch out their legs!"
Date: December 5th, 2013 11:38 AM Author: maniacal elastic band
1813, Lake Erie. British Commander Robert Heriot Rudolph takes a long look through his spyglass at Oliver Hazard Perry on board the USS Lawrence. "That, old chums, is the look of a man who will most certainly yield his ship".
Date: December 5th, 2013 11:46 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
Approx. 3 months BC - Rudolph the shepherd's son high-tails it for Gilead to avoid paying child support, figuring that "nobody will ever believe that dumb cunt's explanation."
Date: December 5th, 2013 11:48 AM Author: Canary dashing business firm nowag
April 7, 1952
Attn: Philip B. Perelman
Listen, Phil, stop being such a faggot and just sign the fucking seizure order. Those hairless pussies will roll over and kiss your ass just like they did for FDR. And even if they try some faggot shit, the Supreme Court's got our back.
Date: December 5th, 2013 11:55 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
Mid-October, 1941 - Imperial Navy Commander Rudoroshito Takashi shares his initial plan for a surprise attack on Pearl Harbor, boasting confidently to his superiors that "it will knock the Americans out of the Pacific permanently."
Date: December 5th, 2013 11:57 AM Author: milky exciting philosopher-king box office
1996: somewhere in North Carolina
After finishing his masterpiece, a ball-bearing filled backpack filled with plastic explosive, Eric Robert Rudolph turned to his reflection in the mirror and smugly confided. I will set back gay-rights for decades.
Date: December 5th, 2013 12:06 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
August 1996 - Unaware that he was pursuing his distant cousin, FBI Special Agent John Rudolph Maynes gave a press conference, telling the assembled reporters that the "Centennial Olympic Park bombing was Rudolph's last. He can't hold out in the forest for long, and we'll have him in custody in a matter of hours."
Date: December 5th, 2013 12:11 PM Author: maniacal elastic band
1787, Paris. Rudloph Jefferson listens carefully to Sally Hemings' description of how slaves prevent unwanted pregnancy by eating collard greens and herbs. "Sounds like you've got it covered---now get over here, you saucy negress."
1908 - Rudolph Feuerbach, reviewing more applications for the Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna, scoffs at the familiar name before him. "This Hitler chap has no drive, vision, or passion. Tell him to go back to Germany. Maybe someone there will find a use for him."
Date: December 5th, 2013 9:06 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
206 BC - Ruddlepplu-dai, Mongol warlord, prepares to take Beijing by infantry, telling his troops that "nothing is stopping us from just walking all the way there."
Date: December 6th, 2013 12:58 PM Author: maniacal elastic band
1593 Playwright Marlowe Rudolph is enjoying an evening of drinking and camraderie in south London. The evening takes an unpleasant turn when the bill, including an automatic 20% gratuity,is presented. "We'll see about this!" he thunders as he draws a dagger from his pocket.
Date: December 7th, 2013 12:20 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
1767 - Olamilekan Mbrudolph, carefree Yoruba tribesman, whistles in happiness at his general freedom on his way to "go see what those white savages want."
Date: December 11th, 2013 11:05 AM Author: sinister kitty
June 20, 1815 - Marquis de La Rudolph receives a semaphore transmission from Nathan Rothschild of London, advising that Rothschild would purchase the Marquis's massive positions in British government consols at a slight discount to their then-market. The Marquis, laughing, and confident of Bonaparte's inevitable victory over the British at Waterloo due to the auspicious augury of a crow flying through his window, sends word by pigeon and draws up the bill of sale.
Date: December 11th, 2013 11:25 AM Author: sinister kitty
April 26, 1986 -- Rudolphka is asked by his comrades to play an impromptu game of "potato," as all of the boys at the plant were wont to do at lunchtime. (The game involved taking a potato and throwing it at one another until one person was hit -- that person would then take a shot of vodka, and the game would resume.) He initially declines, saying that Boris was home from work today tending to his ill daughter, and that no one would be there to monitor the turbine temperatures. His friends goad him, and Rudolphka, shrugging, figures it'll be fine and leave to play.
Date: December 11th, 2013 11:46 AM Author: sinister kitty
Rudolphiokus of Macedon, the swineherd, 630 BC, to his friend Diogenes the shepherd: "Look. The kid's full of shit. There wasn't a wolf before, and there isn't one now. Your sheep are fine. Relax."
Date: December 11th, 2013 12:25 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
25 Kislev, 2 BC: Judean rebel David ben Rudolph laughs at his Maccabeean compatriots, wondering how that idiot Judah expected to reanoint the Temple with a pot of oil that would clearly only last the night.
Date: December 18th, 2013 2:50 PM Author: 180 red new version
399 BC: the Athenian counsel assigned public defender Rudolphicles to the city-state's 3rd superseding indictment charging Socrates with corrupting the youth. He advised the defendant "look, no way can we win this thing with witnesses, just apologize, say you're a gadlfy etc. etc. and we'll be out of here at noon and meetup at Gorgias' house for mead and sodomy."
Date: April 19th, 2014 3:08 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
1854 - Capt. George Rudolph Yorkesmythe, 4th Earl of Lancaster, assures Maj. Gen. James Brudenell, 7th Earl of Cardigan, that Lord Raglan's orders were to "commence a full-frontal assault with the Light Brigade."
Date: April 19th, 2014 3:14 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
2567 BCE - Egyptian engineer Rudlotep demands a more modern, square-roofed look for Pharaoh Khufu's eventual resting place, asserting that "this faggy pointy-top pyramid thing will never stand the test of time."
Date: April 19th, 2014 3:29 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
1914 - Yugo-Slav nationalist Zivojin Rudalfjovic presses a .380 pistol into Gavrilo Princip's hand, telling his young compatriot that the upcoming actions would ensure a long peace and prosperity for the Balkans.
Date: April 20th, 2014 1:40 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
768 - Jafarudolf, Persian vizier, counsels his daughter to "make her stories short and finish them each night, so the King may fall into slumber satisfied."
Date: April 20th, 2014 1:52 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
597 BCE - Reudop, Thracian slave, puts the finishing touches on his prized moralistic short story, in which a wealthy grasshopper is able to gain food for the winter through successful and relatively easy commodity market manipulation, extracting rents from those faggot prole ants.
Date: July 6th, 2014 1:24 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
July 5, 2014 - Rudolph, temporarily aghast at the realization that he has wasted ten years of his life poasting on AutoAdmit, poetically vows that this time really, truly is the last.
Date: October 2nd, 2014 4:37 AM Author: topaz wrinkle
August 6, 1945 - Taiki Rudorufu steps off the train from Osaka, bags in hand and family in tow. “We have a very bright future ahead of us here” he tells his wife Juria, a slight grin on his face as he tallies up his debts in Osaka. “Good luck collecting now, faggots” he chuckles to himself.
Date: October 2nd, 2014 4:44 AM Author: topaz wrinkle
August 9, 1945 - Hiroshi Rudorufu receives a phone call, informing him of the death of his brother. “I told that faggot to stay put!” Hiroshi yells. “I’ll be dammed if I make such a stupid mistake” he tells his wife Bokkusu, before leaving for the horse races.
Date: October 2nd, 2014 11:14 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
Approx. 65 million years BCE - Rudplodocus shrugs at the sight of the massive asteroid approaching Earth, adjusts his 15 ton bulk to better catch the remaining sunlight, and continues to lazily graze near the river.
Date: October 2nd, 2014 12:14 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
Approx. 2 million years BCE - Homo rudolfensis gnaws on a tuber near modern-day Lake Tanzania, pausing to laugh at his idiot neighbors for wasting time trying to sharpen rocks.
Date: October 2nd, 2014 4:13 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
LOL. brother, I was going to make this one about homo rudolphis mocking his circa 6 million BCE compatriots for trying to "balance on their hind legs," but when I looked up the timeframe I learned that homo rudolfensis IS REAL, existed in East Africa 2 million years ago, and died out - possibly from not adopting stone tools unlike its cousin homo habilis despite rudolfensis' larger brains. NOT FLAME.
Date: October 2nd, 2014 5:24 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
753 BC - Rodilius, construction foreman on the new urban infrastructure project, assures Romulus and Remus that work "should be substantially completed by the end of the day."
Date: October 3rd, 2014 3:23 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
November 2, 1948 - Thomas K. Rudolph, assistant managing editor of the Chicago Tribune, chuckles as he leafs through the Gallup poll results, satisfied that "no shithead Missouri dirt farmer" would disrupt the next morning's headline.
Date: October 16th, 2014 12:22 PM Author: beady-eyed umber locale
July 21st, 1959: Comfortably wearing a pink angora sweater, Edward D. Rudolph, Jr. sits back and imagines the money his sci-fi/horror epic will bring in at the box office.
Date: October 16th, 2014 12:37 PM Author: maniacal elastic band
2014. Jean Cluade Rudolph, a junior official from Belgium working for the WHO in Africa, uses a series of glottal clicks to communicate to the natives that the high protein content, ready availability, and relative safety of bushmeat makes it a nutritious and economical dietary supplement.
Date: December 6th, 2014 3:16 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
December 1, 2014 - Rudolph again swears he can go cold turkey, penning another heartfelt goodbye poast to the legions of misfits that mock his every wager.
Date: January 13th, 2015 12:14 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
January 2, 2015 - University of Oregon defensive line coach Rudolph Aiken draws up a scheme for the National Championship Game heavy on pass coverage, reasoning that his front four would "easily stand their own" against Ohio State's offensive line.
Date: January 13th, 2015 1:59 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
November 10, 1975 - National Weather Service forecaster John H. McRudolph radios "all clear on the downbound route" to the Duluth/Superior shipping fleet, confident his models were overstating the severity of the approaching storm.
Date: January 13th, 2015 2:06 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
June 16, 1551 - Edmunde Foullon de Rudolphe, royal advisor to the House of Valois, assures King Henri II that participation in the upcoming tournament is "necessary to sow the strong image that will reap years of healthy rule."
Date: January 13th, 2015 2:05 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
September 1900 - Samuel Bartlett Rudolph, attorney to Thomas "Black Jack" Ketchum, reassures his client that "nobody is going to hang you just for stopping an engine."
February 1, 2015 - Seattle Seahawks Head Coach Rudolph Carroll spurns Darrell Bevell's suggestion to ride Marshawn Lynch on a 1-yard draw to a second straight Super Bowl title, instead favoring a quick slant into the end zone, arguing that "worst case, it's an incomplete pass and we'll still have our final timeout in order to run Lynch on 3rd and 4th downs."
Date: April 2nd, 2015 11:30 AM Author: beady-eyed umber locale
September 17, 1944: Lieutenant-General Rudolph Horrocks tells his men of the XXX Corps to stop for afternoon tea. "We have the time," he says. "I'm sure the airborne forces haven't met with complications at Arnhem."
June 12, 1981: Harvey Rudolph, M.D. and board-certified dermatologist, was examining a 15 year old female. Upon seeing a mole on her upper lip, he noted to her mother that "while I'm not particularly worried that it may become skin cancer, it's better to be safe than sorry. And in any case, your daughter Cindy will almost surely be glad that it was removed, you know, for aesthetic purposes."
Date: August 6th, 2015 12:43 PM Author: beady-eyed umber locale
December 6, 1969--After being turned away from the stage by The Rolling Stones' security, Rudolph Hunter grabs his revolver and heads back, because "those pansies will know who's boss now."
1978 -- New York Giants offensive coordinator Antonio Rudolph rebuffs quarterback Joe Piscarik's offer to kneel to run out the clock, saying "Don't be a pussy; give the ball to Csonka and tell him to run over that faggot Edwards!"
Date: August 10th, 2015 9:35 AM Author: Sticky bawdyhouse
November 20, 1960 -- Frank Rudolph Gifford in the huddle: THROW ME THE BALL! That faggot Chuck Bednarik is slow. I've been beating him like a drum all day. RIP.
Date: October 20th, 2015 12:04 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
August 2006 - Convinced her alcohol problems were "just a phase," music industry manager Mark Rudolph helps client Amy Winehouse pen a catchy retort to his colleagues "trying to make her go to rehab."
Date: February 28th, 2016 3:25 PM Author: Cuckold Trailer Park
July 14, 2015: During a meeting to discuss campaign strategy, Steven Rudolph Jr. assures Jeb Bush that Donald Trump's unexpected surge in the polls could only be a good thing for the campaign and should be allowed to play out.
"Don't worry, our fundamentals are far better than Trump's," he says, while opening a Five-Hour Energy for another late night of work. "Besides, other than immigration, what can he even attack us on?"
Date: April 3rd, 2016 12:51 PM Author: Floppy bipolar death wish
December 13th, 1963 New Bedford, Mass.
Rudolph Hathaway, several years after receiving stock in the Berkshire Hathaway Textile company after his family's mill was acquired, decides to dispose of his entire stake, amounting to 3% of the outstanding shares, on the open marketplace at $19.50.
When questioned by his broker, Hathaway cited that he was uncomfortable with the recent change in the management of the company and that he was skeptical of the new leadership's attempt to diversify into the life insurance business: "What's this failing textile company gonna do in the long term? That new young Buffett guy who just took it over is probably gonna run it into the ground - he doesn't even have experience in the rag trade!!"
Date: November 15th, 2016 8:12 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
November 4, 2016 - Clinton campaign field office manager Jeff Rudolph contentedly sips a latte in his Philadelphia operations center, the latest polls affirming that his white Rust Belt audience considered racism and misogyny a more compelling message than their own economic wellbeing.
Date: November 15th, 2016 8:17 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
November 6, 2016 - Staffer JaMichael K. Rudolph of the Detroit field office issues his own report to his superiors at the HRC campaign, stating that black turnout in Michigan's inner cities would be high enough for Clinton to carry the state.
Date: December 13th, 2016 8:43 PM Author: Canary dashing business firm nowag
November 9, 2016. Venkatesh Ponnurudolph, the ADA project chief programmer, schedules a series of post-election interviews with the tech press explaining how "big data made Hillary's smart campaign invincible."
Date: November 17th, 2016 11:07 PM Author: Canary dashing business firm nowag
From: Senator Harry Reidolph
To: hilldawg@wjcoffice.com
For fuck's sake, Hill, stop worrying about this filibuster shit. It's gone and those Republican dorks are toast for at least one more presidential cycle.
Date: January 26th, 2017 11:29 AM Author: Azure partner piazza
122 AD: Senator Rudolph irate that Roman taxes will pay for Hadrian's wall, maintains it's an engineering impossibility that the barbarians won't respect anyway. Opines behind closed doors that Hadrian just hasn't met the right woman yet and once he does he'll chill the fuck out.
Date: March 25th, 2017 11:31 AM Author: beady-eyed umber locale
March 23, 2017: Republican Congressman Rudolph 'Rudy' Haveril of Arizona expresses his 'unqualified support' for his party's healthcare reform proposal.
Date: March 27th, 2017 1:32 PM Author: Hideous magical dog poop institution
Palaeopharsalos, Greece, 48 BCE.
After months of sporadic clashes with the forces of one Gaius Julius Caesar, the army of Gnaeus Pompeius Rudolfus has them surrounded and cut off from supplies. Although they have nearly four times as many troops and could easily wait for the rebels to starve, Rudolfus listens to the advice of his fellow senators that he should mop them up so they can all return to Rome.
Date: April 15th, 2017 1:31 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
May 29, 1830 - Rudoquoyah, Cherokee tribesman, passionately voices his support for negotiating with the state of Georgia over the tribe's land, asking rhetorically "What do you think the white savages will do - forcibly march us beyond the West?"
Date: April 15th, 2017 1:47 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
June 25, 1876: Thathanka Rudolanhpa (Wagers-With-Heavens), Hunkpapa scout for the 7th Cavalry Regiment, informs General George Armstrong Custer that the Sioux encampment at Little Bighorn "can't be more than 800 braves, and the Greasy Grass hill is the perfect high ground to mount an attack."
Date: November 28th, 2017 6:02 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
May 22, 2010 - Papa John's delivery boy Albert Einstein Rudolph audibly scoffs at his customer's suggestion of taking a tip in Bitcoin, preferring hard currency he could spend on beer to some faggy magic internet beans.
Date: December 15th, 2017 3:15 PM Author: Racy Water Buffalo
636 A.D. General Rodolphius of the Eastern Roman Empire ignores pleas to defend the Syrian borders and reports to Emperor Heraclius that everything is fine since they defeated Luis's army and dismisses the Arab army invading as "a bunch of weird dorks"
Date: December 15th, 2017 3:16 PM Author: Racy Water Buffalo
1895: Italian General Rodolfo Faggieri reports there is "no way in hell" they need reinforcements against "a bunch of niggers in loinclothes" in Abyssinia
Date: December 15th, 2017 3:21 PM Author: Racy Water Buffalo
1984 Portland Trail Blazers Draft Room, a scout by name of Rudolph states: "This jordan fag is a twink. What we NEED is a center down low that can punish defenders!"
2007 Portland Trail Blazers Draft Room: Special Assistant to the GM Rudolph Jr.: "This Durant kid is a twink. What we NEED is a center down low that can punish defenders!"
Date: December 15th, 2017 6:14 PM Author: Racy Water Buffalo
1218 AD: The Emperor of the Khwarezmid Empire, Al-Ruudolf Muhammad II sees the NOWAG envoys from some TTT Nomadic tribes sent to "trade" with them. Seeing that they're jsut TTT Nowag NOMADS reeking of goat milk, he kills some of the and insults them by shaving their beards and calls them NOWAGS and sends them back to their khan, with some weird chink name like CHINKGIS or some shit
Date: December 15th, 2017 6:18 PM Author: Racy Water Buffalo
November 8, 1989, East Berlin. Rudolph Schmidt, tired of his life in communist East Germany, tries to cross the border into West Berlin and gets shot by the guards. The next day, the Wall falls
Date: April 21st, 2019 2:45 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
May 18, 2011 - French statesman Henri Depussy-Rudolphe audibly scoffs at a Paris street preacher's warning that "Notre Dame herself will burn with shame at her country's acceptance of these invaders," farting silently on the man as he passes towards his office to finish drafting a proposal to assist the assimilation of Muslim refugees.
Date: June 3rd, 2019 10:50 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
June 1779 - Rudesino Tilly, Spanish artillery master, assures his leader Martin Alvarez de Sotomayor that Gibraltar will take no time at all to fall before their fleet.
Date: March 5th, 2020 3:32 PM Author: area genital piercing
February 1, 2020 - CDC's Dr. Messonnier-Rodolphe rebukes alarmist reports on the novel virus, stating "China's coronavirus is unlikely to cross the oceans so we see a low probability of community spread. There is no need for sending out test kits at the moment."
Date: March 10th, 2020 1:25 AM Author: amethyst disgusting set crotch
January 20, 1347 Kaffa: Viktor Rudolphoyvch, upon seeing his fellow Crimeans fall ill, decides to take a vacation to Italy, remarking, “it’s just like the flu.”
Date: July 31st, 2020 10:48 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
1738 - Rappahannock youth Oliver Augustine Rudolph counsels his young friend George to "just hide the hatchet and blame the cherry tree thing on the Locke kid."
Date: March 10th, 2021 7:43 PM Author: Bateful sexy point nibblets
1919:
President Rhudrow Wilson, shamed by being derisively referred to in the media as "Kaiser Wilson," reasons that "another constitutional amendment won't hurt anyone" and calls a special session of congress to make sure it gets through.
Date: August 8th, 2022 2:25 AM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
September 3, 1968 - Frustrated with their lack of success leading cross-border attacks against Israel, Narud Al-Fatah suggests to Yasser Arafat and George Habash that it would be "much easier if we just turned around and took over all of Jordan instead."
May 10, 1941 - Deputy Führer Rudolf Hess flies to Scotland, confident that his planned attempt to negotiate with the British will win him the praise and respect of Adolf Hitler.
Date: December 8th, 2022 2:58 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
January 23, 1959 - Ural Polytechnic Institute student Semyon Rudolyovich smugly flaunts the route book for his upcoming trek to the rest of the student hiking club members, none of whom were selected for the Grade III certification expedition led by his friend and comrade Igor Dyatlov.
Date: December 11th, 2022 1:57 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
December 11, 2022 - Smugly satisfied that it would alleviate the mocking he was being subjected to, longtime XO regular Frank Lloyd Wrongdolph bumps an old thread, reasoning that no poaster would ever be associated with incorrectness to the extent Rudolph was.
Date: June 22nd, 2023 3:33 PM Author: Fracture in the Maidenhead (gunneratttt)
05/08/2018 - While discussing different controller options with a Best Buy employee, OceanGate Expeditions founder and CEO Stockton Rush brusquely says "Look dude, I'm a Princeton Engineer. The Logitech controller is just as good as the PS4 authentic. Ok? I'm on a budget and I'm not paying an extra $40 for name brand."
Date: December 24th, 2023 1:26 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
December 2013 - Regular Autoadmit poaster and target of derision Rudolph, an aging Philadelphia-area lawyer and losing sports gambler, makes another prediction on the site, nihilistically confident that in ten years XO will no longer exist and all memory of his participation will be lost to the wind like the scattered seeds of a once-proud dandelion.
Date: January 1st, 2024 8:50 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
Jan 1, 2024 -
Rudolph doubles down on his pre-game prediction that he's "never been more sure of anything than 'Bama over Michigan" by smugly shitting on J.J. McCarthy and confidently stating the quarterback would throw a game-ending pick with 4 minutes left, leading McCarthy to engineer the game-tying drive after 26 minutes of second-half offensive futility, go on to win the game in overtime, and be awarded the Rose Bowl Offensive MVP award.
Date: December 15th, 2024 1:41 PM Author: Odious ruby jew brunch
December 24, year unknown - Rudolph sobs at his hideous visage in the mirrored surface of a frozen North Pole lake, traumatized by the understanding that his prominent facial disfigurement would prevent him from ever achieving the respect of his peers and that he would be quickly forgotten once gone.