Suddenly a man appeared and thrust out a hand. "I'm Whokebe. Are you looking for the world's finest burgers? Allow me to guide you there through the nine boroughs of Hizzlaville!" And so Whokebe led the lawyer onward in his quest.

First they reached the river Acheron, where Charon, the boatman, gave our traveler a mask to wear in Hizzlaville. "Your name is now Traveler," he said.

"Don't take off your mask," warned Whokebe, "or the townsfolk will tear you apart." At the gates of Hizzlaville a sign read, "The World's Most Prestigious City: Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here."

Down they descended, into the first borough of Hizzlaville, Ontopic. Cawing vultures circled overhead. The streets were filled with masked and robed figures, discussing work and school. He scanned the crowd, but saw only men. "Excuse me", he said, approaching one of the men, "can you tell me where to find the world's finest burgers?" "Not on topic!" cried the man, who pushed the lawyer into a garbage dump.

Whokebe helped Traveler extricate himself from the trash. "We have reached the second borough," he said ominously--"WGWAG". "That's an odd name--what does it mean?" asked Traveler. "You'll see", said Whokebe.

WGWAG was plastered with porn--everything from bukake to creampies. Curiously, the porn contained only white women and Asian men. A knot of short men in robes chanted "WGWAG, WGWAG, WGWAG, WGWAG, WGWAG, WGWAG." The traveler tried to question them, but received no reply but another burst of "WGWAG!" Frustrated, he approached a prestigious looking man in an immaculate suit and smiling Asian mask. "Hello," said the man, "I'm Japanese Business Dood." "Can you tell me where to find the finest burgers?" asked the lawyer. "Sure," said JBD, and he pointed to one of the porn-clad houses which lined the street. "Right in there. HTH."

When Traveler opened the door, he was struck in the face by diarrhea spraying out of a woman's anus. He decided to look elsewhere for burgers.

He stumbled down the street, into the third borough, still trying to wipe the excremental stain from his clothes. The pornography had been replaced by lists--"Most Prestigious Crackers," read one list. "Most Prestigious Niggers," read another. The borough's inhabitants scurried from list to list, checking to see how prestigious they were. "180," murmured one. "Credited," said another. Suddenly the men all flung themselves into a giant pile, each striving to claw his way to the top. Taking advantage of the distraction, Traveler found the list of the world's most prestigious burgers, but tragically it contained no directions. Whokebe suggested they leave Strivehattan and continue on.

In the fourth borough, Notipping, Traveler paused for a moment to watch a gaunt woman giving a blow job. A poster on the wall behind the couple celebrated Hitler's Nobel Prize. As he watched the woman sucking hungrily, he noted a yellow star bobbing on her chest--on closer inspection, though, he realized she probably wasn't actually a woman. "Is it always like this?" he asked his guide. "Sometimes it's worse," said Whokebe. "Sometimes people get outed." The lawyer didn't want to know what that meant. They decided not to interrupt the couple to ask about burgers.

In the fifth borough, Basement, short men with tiny pink dicks slouched against the buildings and whined about their lives. "No one will fuck me," whined one. "My mother still makes me do chores," whined another. A man with a large sideways grin on his mask approached the traveler. "I'm a motherfucking expert, why won't anyone else fuck me?" he asked. "Did you know I got outed?" Despite the anguish in the man's voice, the mask continued to smile its horrendous :D. Traveler shuddered and ran away from the betas, lest contact result in betamorphosis.

At the edge of the sixth borough, he spotted a man wearing an exaggerated blackface mask with bright red lips. "Nigger nigger nigger," said the man. "Do you know where I can get the finest burgers?" asked Traveler. "AA let the niggers eat all the burgers," replied the stranger. "To be fair, kikes!" he added, as though this clarified matters. "Look, I'm just looking for the finest burgers," protested Traveler. "Try the fags, nigger," said the niggerthreader.

As the traveler and his guide descended from Detroit to the seventh borough of Hizzlaville, a man put a gun to his head and killedself. His body slumped into a river of steaming feces which emptied into a third tier toilet. In the distance, a man distended his anus with both hands. "Welcome to the borough of Goatse," said Whokebe, "Watch out for the pozloads." Extremely alpha and very straight men copulated furiously. "Just keep going," shouted a gross old man as he thrust his dick into another man's ass, "You've almost reached the finest burgers!" "We've all got assburgers," yelled a voice.

Inspired by the news that the finest burgers were nearby, the lawyer and Whokebe hurried into the eighth borough of Hizzlaville, Flame. Pimps swaggered through the streets, occasionally stopping to knock whores upside the head. "Things aren't like they used to be," grumbled a man standing on a streetcorner. His mask frowned pensively. "What do you mean?" asked the traveler. "Look at these bitches," said the man, gesturing. "Nothing but sluts and whores. HI and BH. Not a heroic woman among them."

"Are there any women in Hizzlaville?" asked the traveler, trying to discern if the whores were really women at all, or just men in drag. "No," replied the man. He turned away and stared at the street.

Finally they reached the Hizzlaville town square, dominated by a massive statue of a robot. A wedding appeared to be in progress. A fat chick--she must have weighed at least 130 lbs.--hurried towards the altar. An enormous diamond ring sparkled on her finger. Suddenly a large black man burst out of the crowd and rushed towards the fat chick, screaming, "I'm gonna rape all you crackers!" A thunderclap split the heavens and an angel descended into the square. "Rachmiel," Whokebe whispered in awe. Rachmiel strode up to the screaming black man and tore off his mask. "Sonic Youth no more!" he cried, rendering the man nothing more than a naked quivering Asian polyp. He tried desperately to cover his tiny pink dick as the other townsfolk transformed into vultures and began tearing him apart. Traveler shuddered, thankful that it wasn't him. Was this what "outing" meant?

"Ignore him," said Whokebe, "he's just a troll." Whokebe led the way up and over the statue of the giant robot. A plaque at its base proclaimed its name, "Torts." It had three heads, and in its massive steel jaws it crushed three figures representing time, hope, and tolerance. Traveler and his guide flipped around and slid down the statue's rump. A cave opened up above them, leading back up to the surface, to the shining mountain where Traveler finally found the finest burgers and once again beheld the stars.

The traveler was Albert Einstein.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1164152&forum_id=2#13541599)

You put in a solid effort but failed to develop any of the themes present in your paper or to engage the reader.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1164152&forum_id=2#13541607)

I died laughing.

Seriously though, this is great, but you probably should have used the time to study.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1164152&forum_id=2#13542863)

Luckily, studying is no longer an issue for me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1164152&forum_id=2#13543362)

180 I laughed, I cried

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1164152&forum_id=2#13544988)

180+

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1164152&forum_id=2#13550156)

*APPLAUDS*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1164152&forum_id=2#13566326)

good research

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1164152&forum_id=2#13588493)

180s to all involved!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1164152&forum_id=2#13597676)