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Cowgod, thoughts on Games with 1-2 hour mandatory "tutorials?"
| Maroon Comical Heaven Sex Offender | 05/03/25 |
| Crusty mother menage | 05/03/25 |
| marvelous massive office | 05/03/25 |
| Maroon Comical Heaven Sex Offender | 05/03/25 |
| marvelous massive office | 05/03/25 |
| Maroon Comical Heaven Sex Offender | 05/03/25 |
| marvelous massive office | 05/03/25 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: May 3rd, 2025 10:25 AM Author: Maroon Comical Heaven Sex Offender (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5719988&forum_id=2#48901056) |
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Date: May 3rd, 2025 10:28 AM Author: Crusty mother menage Opinion | A 39-Year-Old Attorney Opens a Game and Finds Only Grief By Evan J. Garrish, J.D.
DENVER — I am a man of structure. I fold laundry using firm corners, maintain a color-coded OneNote for “grocery contemplations,” and—until recently—believed there was order in this world.
Then I launched ExoProtocol: Neon Reckoning™ and spent 96 minutes trying to unholster my weapon.
The game, hailed by Polygon as “a triumph of immersive onboarding,” opens not with action but a sullen NPC named Kravix teaching me how to “press A to breathe.” I am 39 years old. I have a mortgage. I cannot earn the ability to sprint after watching a hologram explain galactic oppression through interpretive dance.
Every time I tried to skip the tutorial, it soft-locked me in a sanctimonious loop. A whispering AI voice hissed, “You are not ready.” Which, to be fair, echoes what Tabitha in HR once told me before denying my lateral transfer request.
Games like these are not onboarding—they are onboarding as performance. They are the Mahchine™ rendered in Unreal Engine 5: slow, shimmering, smug. They mock the adult with one hour to escape before the 11 PM dread hits.
I do not play games to be taught. I play them to remember who I was before I began printing emails “just in case.” When I see a blinking waypoint that says, “Follow Commander Vosk to the Empathy Chamber,” I remember there is no off-ramp—not in the game, not in life.
Bring back menus. Bring back start buttons. Bring back joy.
Link: www.nytimes.com/games-should-let-me-skip |
Date: May 3rd, 2025 10:30 AM Author: marvelous massive office This sounds like a western thing. I can’t think of any game with a “tutorial” off hand. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5719988&forum_id=2#48901068) |
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Date: May 3rd, 2025 10:37 AM Author: Maroon Comical Heaven Sex Offender RDR2 basically had a really long one.
Last of Us even had one IIRC |
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Date: May 3rd, 2025 10:41 AM Author: marvelous massive office You’re talking about a prologue. A tutorial is where they tell you exactly what buttons do what. I’ve heard of games like this but can’t think of any. I just beat TLOU1 btw. It’s been in my Backlog for like a decade (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5719988&forum_id=2#48901093) |
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Date: May 3rd, 2025 11:47 AM Author: Maroon Comical Heaven Sex Offender TLOU1 was a triumph IMO, the only good Sony developed series (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5719988&forum_id=2#48901199) |
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Date: May 3rd, 2025 12:20 PM Author: marvelous massive office Uncharted 2-4 were good iirc. Good gameplay variety between action and "puzzles." It's a solid Title, no BS open worlds or excessive "content," lots of epic cinematic action cutscenes iirc.
Just finished TLOU1, I spent a lot of time wandering around looking for Ladders and other things. You can't really run & gun and stealth is basically the only way to progress. The problem with stealth is you either have to be paranoid and slow af, or else there's tons of trial and error. Kojima games are the exception. MGS1-2 you can clearly see the enemy's field of view so there's no ambiguity. MGS5 has the slow-motion mode after being spotted which is brilliant. 3-4 you can Crawl everywhere for stealth, but run & gun is still viable. |