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THE BETAMORPHOSIS.

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&foru...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  01/30/12
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  02/11/12
...
Misanthropic Field
  02/11/12
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  02/14/12
dude, give TBF credit when it's due and link to the original...
clear stimulating rehab
  02/14/12
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  03/02/12
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  03/08/12
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  07/18/12
A Chung Tale
razzle cocky immigrant double fault
  07/18/12
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  07/19/12
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  07/28/12
you love dem tbf posts huh
dull corner
  07/28/12
lol, just lol.
Exhilarant coiffed milk lettuce
  07/28/12
WE NEEDC TO KILL ALL NIGGERS
Khaki kitchen
  07/28/12
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  08/09/12
...
Beady-eyed zombie-like feces ladyboy
  08/09/12
credited
clear stimulating rehab
  08/09/12
...
indigo psychic
  12/03/14
...
Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha
  12/30/15
Legendary
indigo psychic
  08/09/12
At least provide the link to the original
clear stimulating rehab
  08/09/12
done
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  08/17/12
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  08/23/12
I was actually thinking about this yesterday
charismatic market giraffe
  08/23/12
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  09/13/12
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  10/30/12
...
clear stimulating rehab
  10/30/12
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  12/15/12
2013 bump
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  01/07/13
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  01/22/13
...
Mahogany dead main people
  06/13/13
...
Exhilarant coiffed milk lettuce
  06/13/13
TBF's glory
indigo psychic
  10/11/13
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  12/18/14
...
Poppy university mexican
  07/28/16
...
hyperventilating parlour macaca
  07/27/17
...
Geriatric principal's office gaming laptop
  08/13/17
...
floppy bat shit crazy temple
  08/13/17
...
Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha
  08/13/17
...
Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha
  10/25/17
now i remember. yeah, it used to be that good here.
High-end concupiscible death wish parlor
  10/25/17
turns out calling asians bugs was a proud, long, rich tradit...
High-end concupiscible death wish parlor
  10/25/17
...
Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha
  10/27/17
...
Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha
  11/26/17
Claire was a scholar
topaz regret
  11/26/17
...
Vibrant community account
  01/23/18
...
indigo psychic
  09/11/19
...
indigo psychic
  01/28/25
...
topaz regret
  05/20/25
...
Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha
  01/23/18
...
arrogant half-breed resort
  01/23/18
...
Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha
  06/16/18
...
indigo psychic
  10/07/18
...
Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha
  10/19/18
...
Deranged turquoise pisswyrm
  10/21/18
...
Scarlet tanning salon
  11/24/18
...
Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha
  04/28/19
...
Flickering coffee pot
  09/13/20
...
Fluffy honey-headed plaza kitty
  11/06/20
...
Flickering coffee pot
  11/06/20
...
Flickering coffee pot
  11/29/20
...
Flickering coffee pot
  12/16/20
...
Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha
  03/02/21
...
Flickering coffee pot
  10/14/21
...
Comical Bull Headed Library Hominid
  07/13/23
...
Deranged turquoise pisswyrm
  07/13/23
more proof that tbf is an asian male
Angry Plum Trailer Park
  07/13/23
...
indigo psychic
  07/13/23
...
Comical Bull Headed Library Hominid
  10/05/24
...
self-centered casino new version
  10/05/24
...
Comical Bull Headed Library Hominid
  01/28/25
...
cordovan windowlicker
  05/05/25
...
cordovan windowlicker
  05/20/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: January 30th, 2012 4:50 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:43 PM

Author: To be fair (Semi-Retired)

To be fair,

PART I:

One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in his bed he had been transformed into an Asian man. He lay on his dingy unwashed Hello Kitty sheets and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, his tiny, emaciated yellow figure stretched out before him. His frail hairless legs, pitifully thin even compared to the rest of his boyish body, splayed out comically before his tiny nearsighted sliteyes like a splintered bamboo chopstick.

"What's happened to me," he thought. It was no dream. His room lay quietly between the four well-known walls. And above the table, on which a wide assortment of empty Smirnoff bottles had stood just the night before - when Samsa was still a successful ibanker - hung the picture of a familiar woman. It was a gorgeous Russian girl with a fur hat and a fur boa. She sat erect there, lifting up in the direction of the viewer a solid fur muff into which her entire forearm had disappeared, just as he had often disappeared into her muff after a night of heavy boozing. Yet this picture of Svetlana was not his; for this had been poorly cut out of an old Sports Illustrated issue, and was perilously attached to the greasy wall with a potent mix of dried semen, duct tape and profound desperation. And in the place of his hard earned bottle battalion there now stood an curious assortment of thick, strange tomes bearing odd titles - "Criminal Procedure", "Administrative Law", "Secured Transactions" and "TROL Spring 2009" - alongside three gently humming computers, all myseriously logged on to the same website. He immediately knew that he would never have the beautiful woman in the picture again.

"Oh God," he thought. At that moment he felt a slight itching beneath the shaggy black carpet that coated his oily scalp. He slowly pushed himself on his back closer to the bed post so that he could lift his unsightly bulbous head up on his narrow pencil neck more easily, and found the itchy part, which rained down small white flakes as he scratched it; he did not know what to make of them.

He looked over at the alarm clock ticking away by the chest of drawers. "Good God!" he thought. It was half past six, and the hands were going quietly on. It was even past the half hour, already nearly quarter to. What should he do? Did he dare to face the world like this?

As he was thinking all this over in the greatest haste, without being able to make the decision to get out of bed, there was a cautious knock on the basement door by the head of the bed. "Teddy Chu-yu Huang," a sing-song voice called out, "Zao on, lice and shine now boy! You lazy boy!" Was it his mother...was he living at home again with his parents? Gregor was startled when he heard his voice answering. It was clearly and unmistakably his voice, but it was now markedly higher in pitch, marred by a grating Chinese accent which left the words grotesquely distorted so that one did not know if one had heard correctly. Gregor wanted to answer in detail and explain everything, but in these circumstances he confined himself to saying, "Xiexie mama. I get up, woi ai ni." Apparently satisfied, his mother shuffled off slowly on her tiny, exquisitely bound feet.

As a result of that short conversation, however, his father also became aware that his son was still at home, and already he was knocking on one side door, weakly but with his fist. "Te-ddy...Te-ddy!," he called out, "Ni shenti hao ma?" And, after a short while, he called out again in a whinier voice - "CHU-YU!" Gregor directed an answer as best he could: "I go baba, xiexie." He made an effort with the most careful articulation and inserted long pauses between the individual words. His father turned back to his breakfast. Gregor had no intention of opening the door, but rather congratulated himself on his precaution, acquired from years of sleeping around in his former life, of locking all doors during the night.

***

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#19865895)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 11th, 2012 1:08 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#19942908)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 11th, 2012 1:33 PM
Author: Misanthropic Field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#19942985)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 14th, 2012 4:19 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#19963598)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 14th, 2012 4:20 PM
Author: clear stimulating rehab

dude, give TBF credit when it's due and link to the original

but a top 5 post of all time

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#19963602)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2012 5:01 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#20107232)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 8th, 2012 1:03 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#20156701)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2012 3:18 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21116212)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2012 3:22 PM
Author: razzle cocky immigrant double fault

A Chung Tale

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21116242)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2012 2:27 AM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21121465)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2012 9:58 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21201599)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2012 9:58 PM
Author: dull corner

you love dem tbf posts huh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21201601)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2012 9:59 PM
Author: Exhilarant coiffed milk lettuce

lol, just lol.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21201608)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2012 10:00 PM
Author: Khaki kitchen

WE NEEDC TO KILL ALL NIGGERS

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21201612)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:23 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21296217)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:24 PM
Author: Beady-eyed zombie-like feces ladyboy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21296225)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:25 PM
Author: clear stimulating rehab

credited

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21296229)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2014 8:06 PM
Author: indigo psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#26851409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:26 AM
Author: Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#29481999)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:26 PM
Author: indigo psychic

Legendary

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21296241)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:26 PM
Author: clear stimulating rehab

At least provide the link to the original

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21296249)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 17th, 2012 2:30 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca

done

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21360821)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 23rd, 2012 1:50 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21403977)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 23rd, 2012 2:01 PM
Author: charismatic market giraffe

I was actually thinking about this yesterday

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21404036)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 13th, 2012 5:12 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21571558)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 30th, 2012 3:21 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21924655)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 30th, 2012 4:02 PM
Author: clear stimulating rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21925080)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2012 4:03 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#22256092)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 7th, 2013 2:31 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca

2013 bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#22385066)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 22nd, 2013 5:27 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#22483481)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2013 2:43 PM
Author: Mahogany dead main people



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#23388085)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2013 3:23 PM
Author: Exhilarant coiffed milk lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#23388309)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 11th, 2013 8:14 PM
Author: indigo psychic

TBF's glory

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#24215654)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 18th, 2014 4:27 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#26957385)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2016 6:11 PM
Author: Poppy university mexican



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#31053610)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 27th, 2017 2:19 PM
Author: hyperventilating parlour macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#33867558)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 13th, 2017 3:28 AM
Author: Geriatric principal's office gaming laptop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#33976384)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 13th, 2017 3:33 AM
Author: floppy bat shit crazy temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#33976395)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 13th, 2017 4:13 AM
Author: Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#33976464)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 25th, 2017 2:59 AM
Author: Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#34523544)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 25th, 2017 3:10 AM
Author: High-end concupiscible death wish parlor

now i remember. yeah, it used to be that good here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#34523558)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 25th, 2017 3:11 AM
Author: High-end concupiscible death wish parlor

turns out calling asians bugs was a proud, long, rich tradition on xo going back a long ways. that gives me tickles.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#34523559)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2017 1:39 PM
Author: Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#34542580)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 26th, 2017 12:14 AM
Author: Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#34772753)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 26th, 2017 1:00 AM
Author: topaz regret

Claire was a scholar

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#34772952)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 23rd, 2018 10:06 AM
Author: Vibrant community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#35216572)



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Date: September 11th, 2019 10:26 AM
Author: indigo psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#38817589)



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Date: January 28th, 2025 6:09 AM
Author: indigo psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#48597167)



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Date: May 20th, 2025 9:37 AM
Author: topaz regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#48946725)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 23rd, 2018 10:05 AM
Author: Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#35216559)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 23rd, 2018 10:11 AM
Author: arrogant half-breed resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#35216597)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 16th, 2018 9:42 AM
Author: Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#36255593)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 7th, 2018 1:23 PM
Author: indigo psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#36979191)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 19th, 2018 8:39 AM
Author: Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#37055152)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 21st, 2018 6:31 PM
Author: Deranged turquoise pisswyrm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#37068231)



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Date: November 24th, 2018 5:53 AM
Author: Scarlet tanning salon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#37291125)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2019 7:58 PM
Author: Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#38156666)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 13th, 2020 2:09 AM
Author: Flickering coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#40911749)



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Date: November 6th, 2020 12:21 AM
Author: Fluffy honey-headed plaza kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#41295001)



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Date: November 6th, 2020 12:46 AM
Author: Flickering coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#41295234)



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Date: November 29th, 2020 10:31 PM
Author: Flickering coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#41458867)



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Date: December 16th, 2020 1:31 AM
Author: Flickering coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#41557739)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2021 1:13 AM
Author: Free-loading Rough-skinned Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#42032903)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 14th, 2021 10:38 PM
Author: Flickering coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#43273915)



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Date: July 13th, 2023 1:37 AM
Author: Comical Bull Headed Library Hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#46542023)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2023 1:39 AM
Author: Deranged turquoise pisswyrm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#46542036)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2023 1:41 AM
Author: Angry Plum Trailer Park

more proof that tbf is an asian male

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#46542043)



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Date: July 13th, 2023 7:10 AM
Author: indigo psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#46542250)



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Date: October 5th, 2024 7:15 AM
Author: Comical Bull Headed Library Hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#48165642)



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Date: October 5th, 2024 7:29 AM
Author: self-centered casino new version



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#48165660)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 28th, 2025 2:29 AM
Author: Comical Bull Headed Library Hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#48597068)



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Date: May 5th, 2025 9:32 AM
Author: cordovan windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#48904722)



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Date: May 20th, 2025 7:01 AM
Author: cordovan windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#48946559)