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pumette and NeumannMorgenste double teaming a junior to administer a CODE RED

...
cocaine farts
  10/06/15
...
frozen filthpig mood
  12/31/15
The junior associate hadn't come close to meeting his hours ...
lemon stubborn pit
  12/31/15
9596627812376623478721276
chartreuse dilemma
  12/31/15
why did you go pumo NM? or is it jshad? or is it all the ...
insanely creepy motley affirmative action
  12/31/15
As a certified NeumannMorgenste authenticator, I think it's ...
ebony deranged casino private investor
  12/31/15
...
laughsome boltzmann rehab
  12/31/15
After inspecting the poast further, everything seems right. ...
ebony deranged casino private investor
  12/31/15
The use of ‘Greatbort’ isn’t hard to replicate, and the othe...
Multi-colored orchid step-uncle's house sneaky criminal
  12/31/15
it's a pastiche. why would anyone assume it's him? of course...
chartreuse dilemma
  12/31/15
I’m agreeing with you brother.
Multi-colored orchid step-uncle's house sneaky criminal
  12/31/15
this is 99% NM or a sick imitation of him ex: greatbort w...
insanely creepy motley affirmative action
  12/31/15
I think it only seems 99% real because, after a long layoff,...
ebony deranged casino private investor
  12/31/15
Your welcome face
frozen filthpig mood
  12/31/15
for voating for me? yes, thanks you friend :)
ebony deranged casino private investor
  12/31/15
And for bringing this SCHOLARSHIP back
frozen filthpig mood
  12/31/15
wait, was this a paste from an old NM poast? :(
ebony deranged casino private investor
  12/31/15
plz respond
ebony deranged casino private investor
  12/31/15
neither by NM nor a paste
lemon stubborn pit
  02/15/16
Good Lord.
Grizzly duck-like home scourge upon the earth
  12/31/15
VOTE NM. NM/TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT
richard clock
  12/31/15
Bravo brother ty for this poast
Ultramarine juggernaut theater
  12/31/15
...
laughsome boltzmann rehab
  12/31/15
...
chartreuse dilemma
  12/31/15
180
mahogany senate
  12/31/15
...
Sinister carnelian parlour
  12/31/15
mods
ebony deranged casino private investor
  12/31/15
...
laughsome boltzmann rehab
  12/31/15
LOL at fucking modding that.
Grizzly duck-like home scourge upon the earth
  12/31/15
rach can do whatever he wants if you ask me
rambunctious ratface antidepressant drug
  12/31/15
180000
ebony deranged casino private investor
  12/31/15
140
Sinister carnelian parlour
  12/31/15
...
lemon stubborn pit
  12/31/15
180
Harsh pink kitchen depressive
  12/31/15
...
autistic cuckoldry
  12/31/15
THIS made me so HARD AS FUCK ""I mean,...
autistic cuckoldry
  12/31/15
...
ebony deranged casino private investor
  12/31/15
TY I know your influences. I'm glad they have been unleash...
cocaine farts
  12/31/15
...
self-absorbed stage
  01/02/16
...
lemon stubborn pit
  01/04/16
?
insanely creepy motley affirmative action
  01/29/16
...
talking mother
  01/29/16
...
Vibrant unholy keepsake machete
  04/01/16
Holy shit
NeumannMorgenste
  04/10/16
...
chartreuse dilemma
  04/10/16
tyvvm
lemon stubborn pit
  04/11/16
never stop bumping this
insane pale rigor
  10/31/16
...
Lake circlehead
  12/23/16
...
talking mother
  12/23/16
Top 10 post of all time and it was by a quotemo.
Grizzly duck-like home scourge upon the earth
  02/16/17
it's a known poaster
frozen filthpig mood
  02/17/17
...
Exhilarant Cordovan Immigrant Brunch
  01/04/18
...
Low-t piazza dragon
  01/04/18
...
Exhilarant Cordovan Immigrant Brunch
  10/08/18
Date: December 31st, 2015 2:39 AM Author: '"'''"'...
Exhilarant Cordovan Immigrant Brunch
  07/04/19
...
insane pale rigor
  07/04/19
How in the everliving fuck did I miss this poast for all the...
heady genital piercing
  06/16/21
...
Austere Religious Scholar
  10/31/26
4832931784378219842893
ruddy elastic band native
  12/31/15
...
chartreuse dilemma
  01/02/16
...
lemon stubborn pit
  01/16/16
...
lemon stubborn pit
  04/01/16
...
rambunctious ratface antidepressant drug
  04/07/16
...
frozen filthpig mood
  04/07/16
...
Charcoal Diverse Faggot Firefighter
  04/07/16
...
lemon stubborn pit
  07/01/16
...
lemon stubborn pit
  07/20/16
...
frozen filthpig mood
  07/26/16
...
lemon stubborn pit
  09/06/16
...
insane pale rigor
  12/01/16
...
Charcoal Diverse Faggot Firefighter
  12/23/16
...
Manually Patching Allaire
  12/23/16
...
Emerald Bawdyhouse
  01/14/20


Poast new message in this thread



Reply

Date: October 6th, 2015 7:03 PM
Author: cocaine farts



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#28913678)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 1:08 AM
Author: frozen filthpig mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489560)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:39 AM
Author: lemon stubborn pit

The junior associate hadn't come close to meeting his hours for the past six months, but his pedigree was exquisite and his interviews had been phenomenal. There was still hope - at least for one of the two high-powered attorneys tasked with giving him the talk that came before The Talk. "Let's do good cop, bad cop!" said pumette brightly, hair swishing in front of her face, opening the door and letting Neumann through first. He said nothing, so she added: "Or not."

Yes, yes, thought Neumann. Good cop, bad cop. But shall it fall to me again, as it did in the chaos that erupted out of the Iapetian Revolution, to be the bad cop? So much he hadn't understood then: the interplay of freedom and art, the way in which the Solar Authority dammed the flow of creation like so many hyper-evolved otters. He hadn't known then that it was what was stoppering the Greatbort: that it was, in a sense, SPECC - the Societal, Psychological, Emotional, and Cultural Committee - which had run off the Whokebians and destroyed the biz board. No, no: he shook his head: you couldn't have understood it at the time; our understanding of statutory-atomic entanglement was, back then, so cursory, so weak... And yet even then, before the great On-Balance/In-Balance Revolution spurred a generation to examine how legal clauses interacted with each other and with elementary particles, there were those who loved the law. Even before law was formally acknowledged as a STEM subject, they toiled thanklessly, serving the interests of their clients, and, as hyperlegal astrophysics later described, freedom, the sanctity of atomic bonds, and therefore humanity. We honor them now, Neumann thought to himself, even as we tortured them then.

Pumette smiled at him. He was a little quiet, but there was something kind of nice about that, not like the boys who got liquored up with her and talked about, well, about not much at all. She could do the talking. She pulled up a chair for Neumann at the head of the table, then sat on it in front of the junior, slowly draping one leg over the other. "So. It looks like you haven't been lasting very long at work these past few months. Is that right?"

The associate mouthed wordlessly, then tightened his lips and nodded. Ten hours it took, Neumann reflected, for the nameless Iapetian ensign they'd grabbed to summon that selfsame expression, almost wholly obscured by a network of dried blood. What had it replaced? What had they broken? Defiance, anger, trust, hope: these were the things, he now knew, that they in their pride and cowardice had sought to banish from the solar system. And now too he knew that they were the things that kept that system together. The accidents on Mars 4, Moon 3, Belt 6; in Japan, in Karachi, in New Mexico - those were not the work of a rag-tag revolution hitting whatever targets they could, but of the universe's inexorable gears, its molecular-regulatory apparatus creaking against the awful resistance it encountered. From us. From us. From us the terror, and the torture, and the trial. And still we rule now, apologies made, Iapetus a shambles. Only an even higher law than the Wachtell-Higgs Liberbosonian Principle, Neumann's very soul seemed to cry out, would have the power sufficient to dispense upon him and his fellows the dark justice they deserved.

"Well, what are we going to do with you, then?" pumette asked, bending down to look at the associate's eyes, her silky work shirt first clinging, then dipping dangerously. "I mean, your hours are just very - very - small." She held her thumb and forefinger close together right in front of his face for ten unblinking seconds, then leaned back. "You struck out at OCI, right? But we hired you anyway because John left after four months. Oh, oh, John! Oh, God!" She threw her head back and straightened one of her legs, her foot and the tall black heel she wore ending just to the side of his cheek. Her hair shook out behind her, then returned to the front as she pulled her head back up, now messy in front of her face. "John. Oh, fuck, John. Now there was a lawyer who could work all night. His timesheets were at least" - she arched an eyebrow and cast her gaze at a folder she was holding - "well, at least three times longer than yours, that's for sure. That was a man I could really trust to pound out some work product."

How many had there been? Those young, brave, independent Iapetians, many of them former commercial litigators, who seemed to have an inborn instinct for the symbiosis among unfettered free speech, scientific truth, subatomic stability, and the responsible practice of law - an instinct Neumann had trained in himself, day in and day out, in all the years since, but never developed past an inkling of a hint of a sense. Such joy, he thought bitterly, I took in my work, thinking it just and right, and noble, but - but also - but also simply because I was intoxicated with power. He heard of the Authority's Great Reversal, which demolished SPECC, phased out Privilege Counseling, and overturned the entirety of the Iapetian Approach, in the midst of kicking a man near to death. This man had told him everything he knew about the Law Center on that Saturnian moon, a Center now reduced to rubble, and where its top graduates were in hiding. But maybe he knew something else. More likely, Neumann saw just days later, he had wanted to keep kicking him. And in fact his first thought on hearing the news was disappointment about ending that particular session - a fact which had turned over the years into a knife or burning brand, with which he now tortured himself most of his waking hours, over innumerable sessions, waiting to see if he would say - well - he knew not what.

"I mean, it's pathetic, don't you think?" pumette laughed. "You really think you're going to be able to satisfy someone like *me* with this kind of - this - these clitmemos and pissbriefs?" She slapped his thigh lightly with the folder she was holding. "And when you do finish, it's just - it's like a little dribble, it's not like it's amazing work product. It's pitiful." She slapped his thigh again. "Tiny." Slap. "Weak." Slap. "Unmanly."

Neumann came out of his reverie into this scene. But what: was this torture again, albeit of a different valence, in the halls of this storied firm, one of the leading lights of the Balanced Approach? She kept slapping the associate's thigh with the folder as his expression grew more and more - well - Neumann wasn't sure what to call it. More and more extreme. It is crucially important that we all do great work here, Neumann thought, for the Greatbort, and for the System, and for the Universe, and for the Law. But then it had seemed crucially important to him all those years ago to kick the Iapetians into submission. Slap. Smack. Slap. No, no: this must stop. "Son," he said gruffly. "Son, do you love the law? I mean: do you really, in your red and fiery human heart, in the seat of what renders all of us redeemable despite our failings and our incontinence, love the law?"

"Yes!" the associate cried. "Oh, fuck, yes! Yes, I fucking love it, give me more of the law, holy fuck, don't stop giving me that fucking hot law, oh my God, I'm going to - fuck - holy shit -" He paused for breath, then resumed in a much calmer voice. "I'm going to work much harder from now on. I'm sorry to have disappointed both of you."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489776)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:49 AM
Author: chartreuse dilemma

9596627812376623478721276

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489785)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:52 AM
Author: insanely creepy motley affirmative action

why did you go pumo NM?

or is it jshad? or is it all the same person

whoever it is this is fckng 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489788)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:12 AM
Author: ebony deranged casino private investor

As a certified NeumannMorgenste authenticator, I think it's very possible it is Him. If it isn't, it's the best damn fake I've seen.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489843)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:21 AM
Author: laughsome boltzmann rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489867)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:26 AM
Author: ebony deranged casino private investor

After inspecting the poast further, everything seems right. From the single hyphens bordered by single spaces on both sides, to the placement of the poast itself (a mere reply in an otherwise obscure/meaningless thread with a blank OP), to his use of "greatbort." Despite the issue with the moniker provenance, I am officially authenticating it. Welcome back NM.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489883)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:36 AM
Author: Multi-colored orchid step-uncle's house sneaky criminal

The use of ‘Greatbort’ isn’t hard to replicate, and the other examples may be incidental.

This poast has his typical run-on sentences amidst extended descriptions of a scene. And it of course celebrates the law in the manner of a Neumann post. But Neumann typically does not do extended dialogue (though he of course could). It also lacks some of his typical meter (though not all – it captures the running descriptions well). This doesn’t have as many halting phrases as one typically sees in more literary his posts, for example. And some of the vocabulary doesn’t quite match. I wouldn’t expect to see him use ‘clitmemos’ or ‘pissbriefs,’ of course. But he typically makes a point of injecting some more abstruse vocabulary into his posts.

I also don’t think he would return as a pumo, particularly using his own style.

This could of course be him, but I don’t necessarily think it is.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489900)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:40 AM
Author: chartreuse dilemma

it's a pastiche. why would anyone assume it's him? of course it's fun to speculate but come on.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489903)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:43 AM
Author: Multi-colored orchid step-uncle's house sneaky criminal

I’m agreeing with you brother.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489906)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:22 AM
Author: insanely creepy motley affirmative action

this is 99% NM or a sick imitation of him

ex: greatbort which is classic NM word styling

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489870)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:30 AM
Author: ebony deranged casino private investor

I think it only seems 99% real because, after a long layoff, a little rust is expected. Perhaps it's why he did not sign his name on this work. Still 180 though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489886)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 5:09 AM
Author: frozen filthpig mood

Your welcome face

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489958)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:40 PM
Author: ebony deranged casino private investor

for voating for me? yes, thanks you friend :)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29492106)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:59 PM
Author: frozen filthpig mood

And for bringing this SCHOLARSHIP back

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29492240)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:03 PM
Author: ebony deranged casino private investor

wait, was this a paste from an old NM poast? :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29492265)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:12 PM
Author: ebony deranged casino private investor

plz respond

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29492364)



Reply

Date: February 15th, 2016 6:33 AM
Author: lemon stubborn pit

neither by NM nor a paste

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29833201)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:16 AM
Author: Grizzly duck-like home scourge upon the earth

Good Lord.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489852)



Reply
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Date: December 31st, 2015 3:19 AM
Author: richard clock

VOTE NM. NM/TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489859)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:20 AM
Author: Ultramarine juggernaut theater

Bravo brother

ty for this poast

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489863)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:21 AM
Author: laughsome boltzmann rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489868)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:22 AM
Author: chartreuse dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489873)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:30 AM
Author: mahogany senate

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489887)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:32 AM
Author: Sinister carnelian parlour

Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489892)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:34 AM
Author: ebony deranged casino private investor

mods

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489895)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:36 AM
Author: laughsome boltzmann rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489898)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:50 AM
Author: Grizzly duck-like home scourge upon the earth

LOL at fucking modding that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489915)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:54 AM
Author: rambunctious ratface antidepressant drug

rach can do whatever he wants if you ask me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489919)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:38 PM
Author: ebony deranged casino private investor

180000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29492092)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:50 AM
Author: Sinister carnelian parlour

140

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489913)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 10:17 AM
Author: lemon stubborn pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29490442)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 10:34 AM
Author: Harsh pink kitchen depressive

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29490528)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 10:44 AM
Author: autistic cuckoldry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29490578)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:40 PM
Author: autistic cuckoldry

THIS

made me so HARD AS FUCK

""I mean, it's pathetic, don't you think?" pumette laughed. "You really think you're going to be able to satisfy someone like *me* with this kind of - this - these clitmemos and pissbriefs?" She slapped his thigh lightly with the folder she was holding. "And when you do finish, it's just - it's like a little dribble, it's not like it's amazing work product. It's pitiful." She slapped his thigh again. "Tiny." Slap. "Weak." Slap. "Unmanly."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29492103)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 5:08 PM
Author: ebony deranged casino private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29493176)



Reply

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: cocaine farts

TY

I know your influences. I'm glad they have been unleashed by the GAK

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29492595)



Reply

Date: January 2nd, 2016 9:42 AM
Author: self-absorbed stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29503899)



Reply

Date: January 4th, 2016 1:51 AM
Author: lemon stubborn pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29516505)



Reply

Date: January 29th, 2016 5:35 AM
Author: insanely creepy motley affirmative action

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29705661)



Reply

Date: January 29th, 2016 5:41 AM
Author: talking mother



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29705662)



Reply

Date: April 1st, 2016 4:09 PM
Author: Vibrant unholy keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#30183745)



Reply

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:00 PM
Author: NeumannMorgenste

Holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#30241897)



Reply

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:00 PM
Author: chartreuse dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#30241903)



Reply

Date: April 11th, 2016 4:02 PM
Author: lemon stubborn pit

tyvvm

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#30250017)



Reply

Date: October 31st, 2016 9:46 AM
Author: insane pale rigor

never stop bumping this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#31765766)



Reply

Date: December 23rd, 2016 9:10 PM
Author: Lake circlehead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#32216773)



Reply

Date: December 23rd, 2016 11:25 PM
Author: talking mother



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#32217675)



Reply

Date: February 16th, 2017 6:29 PM
Author: Grizzly duck-like home scourge upon the earth

Top 10 post of all time and it was by a quotemo.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#32638737)



Reply

Date: February 17th, 2017 10:38 AM
Author: frozen filthpig mood

it's a known poaster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#32642986)



Reply

Date: January 4th, 2018 11:33 PM
Author: Exhilarant Cordovan Immigrant Brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#35084885)



Reply

Date: January 4th, 2018 11:37 PM
Author: Low-t piazza dragon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#35084918)



Reply

Date: October 8th, 2018 5:34 AM
Author: Exhilarant Cordovan Immigrant Brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#36983306)



Reply

Date: July 4th, 2019 5:42 AM
Author: Exhilarant Cordovan Immigrant Brunch

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:39 AM

Author: '"'''"''''"

The junior associate hadn't come close to meeting his hours for the past six months, but his pedigree was exquisite and his interviews had been phenomenal. There was still hope - at least for one of the two high-powered attorneys tasked with giving him the talk that came before The Talk. "Let's do good cop, bad cop!" said pumette brightly, hair swishing in front of her face, opening the door and letting Neumann through first. He said nothing, so she added: "Or not."

Yes, yes, thought Neumann. Good cop, bad cop. But shall it fall to me again, as it did in the chaos that erupted out of the Iapetian Revolution, to be the bad cop? So much he hadn't understood then: the interplay of freedom and art, the way in which the Solar Authority dammed the flow of creation like so many hyper-evolved otters. He hadn't known then that it was what was stoppering the Greatbort: that it was, in a sense, SPECC - the Societal, Psychological, Emotional, and Cultural Committee - which had run off the Whokebians and destroyed the biz board. No, no: he shook his head: you couldn't have understood it at the time; our understanding of statutory-atomic entanglement was, back then, so cursory, so weak... And yet even then, before the great On-Balance/In-Balance Revolution spurred a generation to examine how legal clauses interacted with each other and with elementary particles, there were those who loved the law. Even before law was formally acknowledged as a STEM subject, they toiled thanklessly, serving the interests of their clients, and, as hyperlegal astrophysics later described, freedom, the sanctity of atomic bonds, and therefore humanity. We honor them now, Neumann thought to himself, even as we tortured them then.

Pumette smiled at him. He was a little quiet, but there was something kind of nice about that, not like the boys who got liquored up with her and talked about, well, about not much at all. She could do the talking. She pulled up a chair for Neumann at the head of the table, then sat on it in front of the junior, slowly draping one leg over the other. "So. It looks like you haven't been lasting very long at work these past few months. Is that right?"

The associate mouthed wordlessly, then tightened his lips and nodded. Ten hours it took, Neumann reflected, for the nameless Iapetian ensign they'd grabbed to summon that selfsame expression, almost wholly obscured by a network of dried blood. What had it replaced? What had they broken? Defiance, anger, trust, hope: these were the things, he now knew, that they in their pride and cowardice had sought to banish from the solar system. And now too he knew that they were the things that kept that system together. The accidents on Mars 4, Moon 3, Belt 6; in Japan, in Karachi, in New Mexico - those were not the work of a rag-tag revolution hitting whatever targets they could, but of the universe's inexorable gears, its molecular-regulatory apparatus creaking against the awful resistance it encountered. From us. From us. From us the terror, and the torture, and the trial. And still we rule now, apologies made, Iapetus a shambles. Only an even higher law than the Wachtell-Higgs Liberbosonian Principle, Neumann's very soul seemed to cry out, would have the power sufficient to dispense upon him and his fellows the dark justice they deserved.

"Well, what are we going to do with you, then?" pumette asked, bending down to look at the associate's eyes, her silky work shirt first clinging, then dipping dangerously. "I mean, your hours are just very - very - small." She held her thumb and forefinger close together right in front of his face for ten unblinking seconds, then leaned back. "You struck out at OCI, right? But we hired you anyway because John left after four months. Oh, oh, John! Oh, God!" She threw her head back and straightened one of her legs, her foot and the tall black heel she wore ending just to the side of his cheek. Her hair shook out behind her, then returned to the front as she pulled her head back up, now messy in front of her face. "John. Oh, fuck, John. Now there was a lawyer who could work all night. His timesheets were at least" - she arched an eyebrow and cast her gaze at a folder she was holding - "well, at least three times longer than yours, that's for sure. That was a man I could really trust to pound out some work product."

How many had there been? Those young, brave, independent Iapetians, many of them former commercial litigators, who seemed to have an inborn instinct for the symbiosis among unfettered free speech, scientific truth, subatomic stability, and the responsible practice of law - an instinct Neumann had trained in himself, day in and day out, in all the years since, but never developed past an inkling of a hint of a sense. Such joy, he thought bitterly, I took in my work, thinking it just and right, and noble, but - but also - but also simply because I was intoxicated with power. He heard of the Authority's Great Reversal, which demolished SPECC, phased out Privilege Counseling, and overturned the entirety of the Iapetian Approach, in the midst of kicking a man near to death. This man had told him everything he knew about the Law Center on that Saturnian moon, a Center now reduced to rubble, and where its top graduates were in hiding. But maybe he knew something else. More likely, Neumann saw just days later, he had wanted to keep kicking him. And in fact his first thought on hearing the news was disappointment about ending that particular session - a fact which had turned over the years into a knife or burning brand, with which he now tortured himself most of his waking hours, over innumerable sessions, waiting to see if he would say - well - he knew not what.

"I mean, it's pathetic, don't you think?" pumette laughed. "You really think you're going to be able to satisfy someone like *me* with this kind of - this - these clitmemos and pissbriefs?" She slapped his thigh lightly with the folder she was holding. "And when you do finish, it's just - it's like a little dribble, it's not like it's amazing work product. It's pitiful." She slapped his thigh again. "Tiny." Slap. "Weak." Slap. "Unmanly."

Neumann came out of his reverie into this scene. But what: was this torture again, albeit of a different valence, in the halls of this storied firm, one of the leading lights of the Balanced Approach? She kept slapping the associate's thigh with the folder as his expression grew more and more - well - Neumann wasn't sure what to call it. More and more extreme. It is crucially important that we all do great work here, Neumann thought, for the Greatbort, and for the System, and for the Universe, and for the Law. But then it had seemed crucially important to him all those years ago to kick the Iapetians into submission. Slap. Smack. Slap. No, no: this must stop. "Son," he said gruffly. "Son, do you love the law? I mean: do you really, in your red and fiery human heart, in the seat of what renders all of us redeemable despite our failings and our incontinence, love the law?"

"Yes!" the associate cried. "Oh, fuck, yes! Yes, I fucking love it, give me more of the law, holy fuck, don't stop giving me that fucking hot law, oh my God, I'm going to - fuck - holy shit -" He paused for breath, then resumed in a much calmer voice. "I'm going to work much harder from now on. I'm sorry to have disappointed both of you."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489776)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#38481615)



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Date: July 4th, 2019 6:18 AM
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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#38481635)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#42637098)



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Date: October 31st, 2026 3:22 AM
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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#50217156)



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Date: December 31st, 2015 5:43 AM
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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489978)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29503722)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29611150)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#30183737)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#30221038)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#30221361)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#30221608)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#30833954)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#30983074)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#31035366)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#31349220)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#32029790)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#32217344)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#32217347)



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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#39429560)