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Etiquette Question: Bring a bottle of wine to a dinner party, rude if they keep?
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:50 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy if you bring a bottle of wine to the host/hostess, is it rude if they dont serve it? i always thought it's rude if they don't bc it means 1) they wanna hoard it bc they like it for themselves when they should share it with you and the other guest guests, OR 2) they're sending a message that they're embarrassed to serve it.
thoughts? |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:52 PM Author: arrogant vermilion kitchen half-breed Did they serve other wines instead or did they just not serve wine AND keep your bottle? Maybe they just had too many wines from other guests? Don't think it's a big deal either way. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568452) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:55 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy just a general question. not one specific incident. i've seen people do this multiple times. most of the time, people serve the wine you bring. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568493) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:01 PM Author: arrogant vermilion kitchen half-breed Yeah, but I understand if the host had his own bottles he had specially picked out to serve, or if so many people brought wine that he couldn't serve them all. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568561) |
Date: January 10th, 2016 10:52 PM Author: Wine bearded depressive pit if the wine is meant as a gift/thanks for hosting, they can do with their gift what they please (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568444) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:52 PM Author: amber juggernaut (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568450) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:53 PM Author: Brilliant cruel-hearted shitlib (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568457) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:54 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy isn't bringing a bottle of wine generally more akin to "it's proper form to show up with booze and contribute to the dinner somehow" than to bringing flowers for the hostess. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568477) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:57 PM Author: Wine bearded depressive pit unless the invite indicated BYOB, I feel quite certain that the wine handoff is understood as a gesture of thanks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568512) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:59 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy what do you mean by "the invite"? this isnt 1870. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568541) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:00 PM Author: Wine bearded depressive pit fb event/evite/phone call/text
don't you communicate in some way with people before you attend some kind of function at their home about what's going to be happening there, what's expected of you, etc.?
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:02 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy it'd be tacky as fuck to literally say BYOB (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568562) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:06 PM Author: Wine bearded depressive pit sometimes folks only throw the food portion of a party or do food + wine only (and guests would bring booze or beer) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568612) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:09 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy when i host shabbats, i dont supply any wine because i know people will bring wine and there always be plenty. but i think it's tacky to literally text people, "hey, come to my shabbat,btw, it's BYOB" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568638) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:10 PM Author: Wine bearded depressive pit you're opening up a new argument here, which I feel less inclined to engage with because I don't ask people to bring things when I host any kind of event (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568646) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:11 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy fair; that's a separate debate. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568654) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:58 PM Author: Brilliant cruel-hearted shitlib if you ask what you can bring and they answer wine then yes, it is more of a contribution and they should open it.
if you just bring it as a hostess gift then they are free to do what they want with it. |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:58 PM Author: Wine bearded depressive pit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568524) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:01 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy i never ask what i can bring because people always say "dont bring anything; no need, just yourself" to be polite. i think it's always implied that you should bring wine and the host kinda expects that people will bring booze. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568551) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:02 PM Author: Wine bearded depressive pit ... as a way of thanking them for opening their home up to you for an evening (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568566) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:03 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy or, ... as a way to contribute something to the meal ? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568582) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:08 PM Author: Wine bearded depressive pit if the hosts spent a bunch of money on booze, their own array of selected wines and beer and then on top of it just opened every bottle that walked in the door, that'd be a huge waste (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568623) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:10 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy as said below, the case where the "host had carefully selected his own wines to pair with the food" is an unusual case designed to defeat the hypo. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568647) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:16 PM Author: Wine bearded depressive pit also you can't hold other hosts to the same standard you hold yourself to
if you don't buy wine because you know everyone will bring it and you just use guest-purchased wine, you can't expect other hosts who do actually buy specific wines they want served to possibly serve shitty yellow tail instead of what they planned |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 12:05 AM Author: big-titted stirring public bath newt It's not that unusual. Unless we have specifically asked people to bring wine then we will have picked out wine to serve. If I have something good that matches the food then I'm going to serve that in preference to some cheap guest wine.
I presume guests would generally prefer to drink the good stuff even if it means their cheap wine stays unopened and with us. |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:52 PM Author: amber juggernaut jfc (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568451) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:52 PM Author: low-t indian lodge I think it's very rude (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568453) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:53 PM Author: appetizing location old irish cottage lol how the fuck do you function in society? srs q. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568463) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:55 PM Author: razzle-dazzle principal's office black woman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568488) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:56 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy (unhinged antisemite) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568499) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 10:58 PM Author: appetizing location old irish cottage (frank costanza) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568519) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:05 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy reasonable xo'ers differ on this issue. it's a legit question. you = unhinged and done here. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568599) |
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Date: February 14th, 2016 1:28 PM Author: fragrant rebellious plaza lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29828063) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:00 PM Author: unholy parlor i bring the bottle into the party, show it to the hosts then set it on the table with the other bottles right before i open and pour for whoever wants...
alpha or crass/prole ? |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:03 PM Author: arrogant vermilion kitchen half-breed both (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568575) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:03 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy sounds pretty alpha, actually (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568576) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:06 PM Author: Sooty Den Cuck Should open it before you arrive to save time. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568605) |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 12:24 AM Author: razzle-dazzle principal's office black woman Lol this is pretty rude /prole but I respect you for it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29569126) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:00 PM Author: maroon factory reset button Ever watched Seinfeld? Ljl (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568547) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:02 PM Author: Aromatic zippy lodge i think it's bad form for them not to serve it but acceptable (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568567) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:04 PM Author: arrogant vermilion kitchen half-breed What if the host had carefully selected his own wines to pair with the food? He's supposed to just throw the WHOLE THING out the window? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568587) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:06 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy that's really a special case designed just to defeat the hypo. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568604) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:08 PM Author: Aromatic zippy lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568636) |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 12:03 AM Author: erotic piazza It's not a special case at all because 99.9% of adults who go to the trouble of hosting a dinner party are going to serve wine and spend at least 5 minutes thinking about their choice. Expecting them to put away what they chose, probably bought especially for the occasion, presented and have at the right temperature, etc is just your jewbrain getting the best of you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568993) |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 4:09 PM Author: arrogant vermilion kitchen half-breed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29572272) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:06 PM Author: Claret codepig Lol jfc (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568609) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:08 PM Author: Sooty Den Cuck (prole juden) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568631) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:12 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy (oxymoron goy) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568659) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:08 PM Author: Coral motley shrine candlestick maker The fact that no ITT knows wtf the etiquette is proves there is none. Quit worrying about it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568632) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:13 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy fair. i think this thread demonstrates that at least some people could reasonably find it rude/tacky, but it's not a breach of etiquette per se. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568668) |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 3:46 PM Author: Canary State Multi-billionaire people do know. you just aren't listening.
etiquette is: the receiver is free to do whatever the fuck he wants with his gift |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:15 PM Author: Cerebral stag film it's only bad if they run out of other booze and say "sorry we're out booze" instead of opening your bottle. any other scenario is fine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568688) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:41 PM Author: Yellow Contagious Faggotry I leave with it if they don't open it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568889) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:45 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy prole, but alpha. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568909) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:37 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy after re-reading this thread 3 yrs later, best answer ITT (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#37386531) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:49 PM Author: Puce stock car No (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568921) |
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Date: January 10th, 2016 11:51 PM Author: Cerise Temple Headpube lol fucking retard op (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568932) |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 12:01 AM Author: big-titted stirring public bath newt I would never take the bottle of wine I brought home with me.
Depending on how good the wine is I would be more or less disappointed if it wasn't opened. If it was a very good bottle I'd make sure it was opened. If it was just something cheaper we had brought as a contribution then I could understand it not being opened if the host wished to serve his or her own.
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Date: January 11th, 2016 12:02 AM Author: sticky pontificating rigpig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568986) |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 12:03 AM Author: green vibrant international law enforcement agency Couple does this all the time with the booze people bring over to their parties. I brought a bottle of nice liquor and nice beer over and they hid that, and served shitty beer and shitty liquor to the guest instead. It infuriated me. Never went back. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29568990) |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 12:06 AM Author: sticky pontificating rigpig You should have called them out on it
"Hey, why don't you break out the good stuff?"
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Date: January 11th, 2016 12:08 AM Author: erotic piazza break the bottle at the neck and take a few bloody swigs from the jagged glass, while you glare at them wordlessly (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29569037) |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 12:09 AM Author: sticky pontificating rigpig Fuck the dude's wife with the whiskey bottle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29569045) |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 12:12 AM Author: big-titted stirring public bath newt Cr
Describe to the other guests the interesting bottle of wine you brought and then get it opened.
I've never seen hosts take the good guest wines and run off and hide them. They're usually just sitting there so it's not hard to get them opened. |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 3:47 PM Author: Passionate adulterous coffee pot is op retarded? JFC. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29572133) |
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Date: February 14th, 2016 2:19 PM Author: Massive Honey-headed Chad Patrolman Uh, yeah. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29828457) |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 3:48 PM Author: Canary State Multi-billionaire you are soooooo ttt. every one of your threads make me cringe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29572135) |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 3:54 PM Author: pea-brained field preventive strike Here's how I've always felt it should work:
If someone brings wine to a dinner party you host, you should generally try to serve it. That said, sometimes there are reasons why you can't, such as (1) you already bought wine to pair with the meal, (2) other couples have also brought wine that has already been opened and not all of the opened wine gets finished, or (3) the wine that was brought doesn't go with what you're eating. |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 3:59 PM Author: Canary State Multi-billionaire this is bullshit. you wouldnt be required to serve champagne or liquor or a fucking pot roast if i brought it over. a gift is a gift and only the kikiest of kikes would be angered that he couldnt have some of what he just gave |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 4:07 PM Author: pea-brained field preventive strike I don't think anyone's required to do anything. I do think it's nice to make the attempt if it's something that would make sense to serve at the dinner party.
Like yeah, if someone's having a backyard bbq and i bring a nice bottle of champagne I have no expectation of it being served. |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 4:09 PM Author: Canary State Multi-billionaire no. this is college bullshit and believe me whatever 4 dollar manischewitz kike ass wine DBG brings me is much worse than what I am serving (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29572268) |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 4:10 PM Author: pea-brained field preventive strike bro, i think you and i are much closer on this issue than you think we are. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29572273) |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 4:05 PM Author: wild orchestra pit If the hosts have already selected wine for the dinner, it's expected that they will thank you for the bottle and then place it in their storage as a gift to be enjoyed another day.
If the party is more like a pot luck or informal thing, they should put it out there for others to drink that night. |
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Date: January 11th, 2016 4:18 PM Author: exciting flickering antidepressant drug You cannot ask for the bottle back under any circumstances. The host ideally should serve the wine or at least ask whether you want to have it with the meal (even if it doesn't pair well), but it would be bad form to request its return. Even if your host offers to return the bottle you should politely decline. It isn't rude for the host to keep the unopened bottle unless he specifically asked you to bring a certain vintage for the dinner and then decided to serve something different. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29572356) |
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Date: February 14th, 2016 1:05 PM Author: Supple Slate University Really Tough Guy JFC this is next-level rat-face behavior.
If you ever showed up at one of my dinner parties you'd go straight into the oven. |
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Date: February 14th, 2016 1:22 PM Author: Obsidian painfully honest affirmative action JFC this is the worst. wine is a gift because unless you are going to the most prole dinner party of all time, the hosts have already dropped 15+ dollars or more on shit they are about to serve you, plus all the work that went into to cooking it, doing dishes, ect. multiple guests bring wine because it is expected and courteous. no one is thinking about what fucking bottle to serve because no one gives a shit, bringing wine with you is just a nice thing to do. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29828016) |
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Date: February 14th, 2016 2:21 PM Author: Massive Honey-headed Chad Patrolman (Well adjusted non autistic bro who took a wrong turn on the internet one day and now poasts here) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29828470) |
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Date: February 14th, 2016 2:13 PM Author: Insecure beta gunner just walk in popping the bottles you bought immediately. if you play it right you can blast a dumb guest in the face with a cork too. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29828418) |
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Date: February 14th, 2016 2:54 PM Author: Drab fighting tattoo circlehead (XO2016 poasters serving their guest's Shiraz with the tilapia they made)
Serving the wines your guests bring is prole. You should serve the wines you've picked and chilled beforehand that complement your food.
If you told your guest to bring "wine" then you have no idea what you are doing as someone who doesn't know what to bring has no business picking wine. |
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Date: February 14th, 2016 2:55 PM Author: Supple Slate University Really Tough Guy (guy serving chilled Shiraz) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29828701) |
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Date: February 14th, 2016 3:04 PM Author: Drab fighting tattoo circlehead Helps get yellow tail cheaply. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#29828759) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 9:40 PM Author: pearl 180 rehab kitty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#37386096) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:32 PM Author: hot whorehouse therapy wtf i didn't always capitalize every word of a thread title? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3093704&forum_id=2#37386482) |