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Rate this lulzy revelation from my buddy's fiancee
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:26 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native Just got back from lunch with this dood. He's all upset b/c he had a big blowout with his fiancee last night. It's pure 180 clueless-ness on the the fiancee's part.
So this all started b/c of the curtains they have in their living room. She apparently made them from some really nice sheets. Last night he asked her some question about them and she offered out of nowhere that the reason she had made them into sheets is that they were nice, new sheets that had gotten ripped while she was fucking her previous bf.
She didn't want the fabric to go to waste so she turned them into curtains. Then he made the mistake of asking her what the hell they were doing that had ripped the sheets and she told him it was their first time trying anal and she was gripping them so hard with her fists that they ripped.
This ill-advised confession led to a very tempestuous evening. Lol at women, thinking any dude wouldn't be pissed hearing about this. |
Date: March 26th, 2012 3:27 PM Author: Heady international law enforcement agency point LOL!!! "they're my trophies, I love looking at them...when you think I am staring out of the window, I am thinking about Dale ballsdeep in my ass"
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:31 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native Yeah, it has to be a trophy kind of deal. Nobody would be dumb enough to not realize how offensive a revelation that would be.
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:31 PM Author: maize glittery kitty cat church building lol wtf. he's dumping the bitch, right? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303841) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:34 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native I don't know. He kept saying over and over that the curtains better be down by the time he gets home.
I hope he does dump her, as she's pretty fuckiing annoying even without keeping momentos of getting assfucked by some other dude.
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:51 PM Author: maize glittery kitty cat church building your buddy is a moron for trying to wife this dumb slut (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303932) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:32 PM Author: vibrant shitlib holy shit that was dumb on her part (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303845) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:34 PM Author: sinister arousing death wish area http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muhFxXce6nA&ob=av2e (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303851) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:40 PM Author: Azure Overrated Roast Beef The worst part is she won't do anal with him because "she has already experienced it"
lololol women are unbelievable at times. |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:42 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native I don't know, but it certainly wouldn't surprise me.
There's nothing more infuriating than "no, I've tried that before and didn't like it" |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:48 PM Author: 180 Grizzly Mad Cow Disease no wonder she kept insisting that he fuck her in front of that window
also, sorry about your friend's tpd |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:51 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native I know that the previous bf dumped her, but even still that seems like a strange souvenir to keep---hmm, I'll commemorate that time I was painfully sodomized forever!
I think maybe what happened is that she made them while she was with the other dood, actually likes them as curtains, and was too damn dumb to realize what a shitstorm she'd kick up by telling my friend the truth.
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:48 PM Author: unholy menage Their bedroom must smell like shit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303909) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:49 PM Author: Frisky office famous landscape painting this story can't be true. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303912) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:51 PM Author: Sickened jewess this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303934) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:52 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native I don't think it played out very quickly. I think what happened is that she made the initial stupid admission about the sheets ripping, then he got curious/angry and kept pushing for details.
Why on earth she gave them is beyond me. |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:52 PM Author: sable electric furnace property cheeks were clapped. drapes were made. lulz were had. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303937) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:53 PM Author: unholy menage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303944) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:54 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303948) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:58 PM Author: abusive beady-eyed lodge patrolman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303980) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:54 PM Author: brilliant cerebral skinny woman pozpig How the fuck has no one suggested ATD yet? This is utterly beyond me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303946) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:55 PM Author: sable electric furnace property i think when the basis for the D is prior A, ATD is precluded as a matter of law. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303957) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:56 PM Author: brilliant cerebral skinny woman pozpig PLEASE ELABORATE ON THIS LEGAL NUANCE, BROTHER (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303969) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:07 PM Author: sable electric furnace property Johnson v. Butz, 32 F.3d 69 (a man cannot seek anal damages when dissolution of the relationship is predicated upon prior anal activity with a third party). Basically, the court wanted women to be able to freely engage in anal on a case-by-case basis without opening themselves up to ATD from every future partner for doing so. This helps to preserve the integrity of women's buttholds. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304043) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:10 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304059) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:16 PM Author: Mentally Impaired Volcanic Crater Knife ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304094) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:22 PM Author: Hairraiser flirting abode (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304135) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:23 PM Author: sinister arousing death wish area well done (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304145) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:24 PM Author: Sickened jewess (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304155) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:14 PM Author: Dark legal warrant (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304514) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:30 PM Author: ebony stock car ur a really good poster (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304610) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:35 PM Author: Smoky dashing heaven tank (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304651) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:38 PM Author: fiercely-loyal cuckoldry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304678) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:59 PM Author: Blathering Plaza Pervert (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308328) |
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Date: April 6th, 2012 4:58 PM Author: Henna effete gay wizard hospital lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20406715) |
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Date: April 6th, 2012 5:09 PM Author: sienna dopamine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20406793) |
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Date: April 6th, 2012 5:12 PM Author: Mint turdskin stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20406808) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:55 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native I'd be surprised if he did that b/c even though he seemed pretty pissed he didn't mention dumping her or calling anything off.
Since the wedding is planned for June, I think it would take an act of current cheating for him to call it off. |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:57 PM Author: brilliant cerebral skinny woman pozpig dude, ATD would be SOOOOOOO FUCKING CREDITED in this scenario. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303973) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:00 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native If not ATD, then certainly anal whenever the fuck he wants it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303994) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:55 PM Author: Sickened jewess curtains and squirtstains.
marvelous |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:57 PM Author: marvelous costumed locale the most offensive part of all is that she won't let him anal her. this could be forgivable if it was something he could also do to her.
the fact that there's a trophy in his house commemorating the fact that some other dood has been somewhere with his wife that he's never been is unacceptable
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:59 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native i was sort of wondering whether or not she was letting my friend anal her. he was so upset i didn't want to ask, but it's infinitely worse if she's holding out after giving it out freely before. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303990) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:12 PM Author: Spectacular home she HAS to give up her ass now (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304074) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:22 PM Author: Hairraiser flirting abode lo fucking l. what in the everloving fuck. how has he not already buttfucked her and dumped her? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304141) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:25 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native i don't know if he's ever fucked her in the ass, but if he hasn't I imagine she's in for a not-too-gentle experience when they do.
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:26 PM Author: Vivacious kink-friendly faggotry the best case for ATD i've ever seen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304166) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:12 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native UPDATE: dood just texted me. is home after work and the offending drapes have been removed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304503) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:14 PM Author: vigorous school macaca she still has to give that anus up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304517) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:16 PM Author: Hairraiser flirting abode Great. Now he needs to wrap them around her throat like a collar and leash while he dry anals her, and three seconds before he cums tell her as she's sobbing "By the way, we're breaking up." Then open-hand smack her on the back of the head, cum in her ass, pull out, wipe his cock off on the drapes, and tell her to pack her shit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304525) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:19 PM Author: Embarrassed to the bone space Consider Islam (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304544) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:20 PM Author: Hairraiser flirting abode Haha. I mean come on. "I wanted to salvage our anal sheets by using them in the home we share"? Fuck this retarded cunt. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304552) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:17 PM Author: Translucent alpha stag film he still has to hate-fuck her though for at least a week in order to preserve his masculinity and avoid becoming and an insecure beta in her eyes as a result of all this (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304530) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:18 PM Author: Hairraiser flirting abode He needs to break up over this bullshit. Give me a fucking break. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304539) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:23 PM Author: Translucent alpha stag film break up because she had anal sex prior to their relationship? it's hard to find a reasonably attractive women these days who hasn't done this.
and it sounds like she reused the curtains long before she met this guy
or are you just offended that she told him the story? |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:25 PM Author: sinister arousing death wish area she at least owes him the chance to fuck her in the ass (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304579) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:38 PM Author: Translucent alpha stag film at a minimum, she owes him this (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304679) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:25 PM Author: Hairraiser flirting abode The curtains thing. Not that she got fucked up the ass. At that point in their relationship, it's a little late to care about that. But using buttfuck curtains? That's a problem man. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304581) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:28 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native So is the offense just being insensitive/dumb enough to tell him the backstory of the curtains, or is having the curtains in their house in the first place something of a slight?
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:29 PM Author: vigorous school macaca gotta be the latter (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304606) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:30 PM Author: Hairraiser flirting abode SOMETHING of a slight? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304613) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:32 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native yeah, you're right. it's definitely more than that. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304641) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:35 PM Author: Hairraiser flirting abode I mean, look, I'm definitely PP CONFIRMED to be undateable and unmarriable, due in no small part to my outrageously high standards. Among them are not going and getting loaded alone with other men, not hanging up memorials to previous times you've been anally blasted, and so on. So take my opinion for what it's worth. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304653) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:39 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native I think you're spot on about this, actually. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304683) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:30 PM Author: ebony stock car both, but definitely the latter is worse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304620) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:36 PM Author: flickering location i can't imagine any guy telling a buddy this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304659) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:38 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native I think they really had a huge blow up and she tried to tell him he was overreacting. I think he just wanted confirmation that he wasn't being unreasonable in being outraged.
But yeah, kind of humiliating to tell to someone. |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:39 PM Author: Dark legal warrant You need to ATD your bro bro. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304685) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:44 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native no homo, though, right? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304720) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:43 PM Author: Burgundy senate one of those threads where JJC pulls out 9 different monikers (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304710) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 8:59 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native UPDATE 2: I texted the dood to see how things were going and he replied that they had talked about it and everything was cool.
So, I guess there's no breakup coming. I don't think I'd be calmed down about it in under 24 hours, though. |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:09 PM Author: sinister arousing death wish area so he got some anal? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308018) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:15 PM Author: Exhilarant pit degenerate nice. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308040) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:12 PM Author: hot pale institution corn cake Sounds like a catch to me. I like her thrifty side. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308029) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:13 PM Author: Lime Razzmatazz Field Lettuce this is true because white women are more fucked up than xo bros are creative
lol white women |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:16 PM Author: hot pale institution corn cake Shut up you shit stained camel fucker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308047) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:16 PM Author: Lime Razzmatazz Field Lettuce not bane bro (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308053) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:19 PM Author: hot pale institution corn cake You're just some shit hued manlet...we know. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308067) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 10:20 PM Author: Comical dog poop old irish cottage shit 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308500) |
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Date: April 6th, 2012 4:47 PM Author: Spruce concupiscible half-breed address (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20406630) |
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Date: April 6th, 2012 4:54 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native Since you bumped I'll update things to where they are now. So I flat out asked him if he'd done her in the ass before. Apparently he knew she'd done it with another guy (or guys, not sure) before. She said she didn't like it and was reluctant to try it with him but eventually agreed.
He said they'd never been able to do it as she makes him stop b/c it hurts too much if he gets even the tip in. So they've tried it around half a dozen times, but never successfully. So my friend stopped trying b/c it was more hassle than it was worth.
The "resolution" they came to is that they'll start trying it again to see if it goes any better.
I told him he should just jam it in and let it do what it do. |
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Date: April 6th, 2012 4:55 PM Author: Heady international law enforcement agency point "jam it in and let it do what it do"
or, you know, you could just plan a hospital visit, too. |
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Date: April 6th, 2012 5:16 PM Author: sinister arousing death wish area or he could just use plenty of lube and warm her up with a butt-plug. just sayin. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20406829) |
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Date: June 10th, 2012 5:39 PM Author: Diverse doctorate native As a final update, I've just returned home from their wedding. I had brunch with the lovely couple this morning, but there was no news about any torn or shredded bedclothes from the nuptial bed.
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Date: January 13th, 2014 10:36 PM Author: Spruce concupiscible half-breed address (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#24829948) |