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THE BETAMORPHOSIS.

To be fair, PART I: One morning, as Gregor Samsa was w...
plum center
  06/28/09
Rofl!
bearded at-the-ready station
  06/28/09
tyft
Indecent codepig
  06/28/09
Good effort, but a resemblance to Pudsmack's early output ma...
Multi-colored lodge death wish
  06/28/09
naw man this was a solid 180, i loled pretty hard
flatulent talented boltzmann
  06/28/09
172. I will bump if I remember though. More stuff like this ...
Multi-colored lodge death wish
  06/29/09
180 mOAR
Turquoise harsh locale
  06/29/09
MOAR
Vigorous Forum
  06/29/09
190
angry ruby orchestra pit cuckold
  06/29/09
...
Multi-colored lodge death wish
  06/29/09
get a life faggot!
Fragrant Walnut Shrine Jewess
  06/29/09
This is serial killer talk.
Exciting Bisexual French Chef Toilet Seat
  06/29/09
Smirnoff eh
Passionate insane sweet tailpipe
  06/29/09
...
Multi-colored lodge death wish
  06/29/09
...
plum center
  06/29/09
go on
Odious rough-skinned step-uncle's house
  06/29/09
...
Multi-colored lodge death wish
  06/29/09
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  07/02/09
...
flatulent talented boltzmann
  07/03/09
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  07/03/09
good use of chinese. should be gregor sam though, to sound m...
irate know-it-all electric furnace wagecucks
  07/03/09
To be fair, ty
plum center
  07/03/09
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  07/05/09
...
Multi-colored lodge death wish
  07/06/09
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  07/07/09
...
Judgmental legend school cafeteria
  07/08/09
Holy shit how did I miss this?
concupiscible transparent hospital
  07/19/09
Oh so incredibly clever!
Overrated multi-billionaire meetinghouse
  07/19/09
120, don't ruin this thread like a bitter faggot just becaus...
concupiscible transparent hospital
  07/19/09
It's stupid. Like you.
Overrated multi-billionaire meetinghouse
  07/19/09
You forgot to say "Hi TBF!" Link to a better th...
concupiscible transparent hospital
  07/19/09
...
Sickened Excitant Ticket Booth
  07/19/09
Lame.
mind-boggling theatre
  07/19/09
you're lame
Confused abode
  08/21/09
Bump for Ted Never forget
flatulent talented boltzmann
  07/28/09
a gem
laughsome domesticated sanctuary antidepressant drug
  07/28/09
To me, this is one of those threads that should be bumped on...
flatulent talented boltzmann
  07/28/09
...
Pearly beady-eyed fanboi cruise ship
  07/28/09
180
stimulating potus
  07/28/09
bump for bartards.
Bearded yapping fortuitous meteor pit
  07/29/09
...
Multi-colored lodge death wish
  08/03/09
...
angry ruby orchestra pit cuckold
  08/03/09
A certified classic
Judgmental legend school cafeteria
  08/04/09
...
frisky scourge upon the earth garrison
  08/04/09
good stuff
Ultramarine goal in life space
  08/04/09
...
Multi-colored lodge death wish
  08/08/09
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  08/14/09
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  09/18/09
People often posted "underrated" in regards to a t...
stimulating potus
  09/18/09
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  09/19/09
i was thinking about bumping this last night
Multi-colored lodge death wish
  09/19/09
180
crawly brilliant area
  09/19/09
...
angry ruby orchestra pit cuckold
  09/20/09
...
Judgmental legend school cafeteria
  10/02/09
180
soul-stirring famous landscape painting native
  10/02/09
...
Confused abode
  10/03/09
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  10/13/09
Excellent bump
Judgmental legend school cafeteria
  10/13/09
Bump
Judgmental legend school cafeteria
  10/20/09
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  10/27/09
lol
Idiotic 180 range
  10/27/09
good bump ty RIP Ted
concupiscible transparent hospital
  10/27/09
he's still with us.
Cerebral coldplay fan library
  11/24/09
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  10/31/09
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  11/15/09
Holy shit, hadn't seen this before. Frightening.
mustard doobsian indirect expression church building
  11/15/09
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  11/24/09
bump for English
Judgmental legend school cafeteria
  11/29/09
...
Cerebral coldplay fan library
  11/29/09
it's time again
Judgmental legend school cafeteria
  12/04/09
...
black territorial pervert
  12/06/09
...
concupiscible transparent hospital
  12/06/09
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  12/12/09
this thread hasn't gotten the attention it deserved
Confused abode
  12/12/09
agreed, especially given its authenticity in the proper use ...
Honey-headed massive point
  12/12/09
180
Cracking sapphire principal's office
  12/12/09
bump for dipshit aspie noobs who think tbf doesn't post anyt...
Razzle-dazzle Sooty Site
  12/20/09
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  12/28/09
SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY BUMP
Rusted kitchen regret
  12/28/09
DECADE BUMP
Turquoise harsh locale
  01/01/10
bump
Confused abode
  01/06/10
This was scary. 180.
burgundy home pisswyrm
  01/06/10
180
Rebellious internal respiration wrinkle
  01/06/10
A true 180
soul-stirring famous landscape painting native
  01/06/10
bump
concupiscible transparent hospital
  01/21/10
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  02/05/10
...
galvanic slimy theater stage
  02/19/10
Bump for return of search
Rusted kitchen regret
  02/22/10
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  03/31/10
...
Confused abode
  03/31/10
...
aggressive boyish den alpha
  04/09/10
...
Pearly beady-eyed fanboi cruise ship
  04/09/10
...
flickering olive locus black woman
  04/17/10
...
Pearly beady-eyed fanboi cruise ship
  04/30/10
...
Confused abode
  04/30/10
...
lascivious grizzly pozpig legal warrant
  05/11/10
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  05/17/10
Holy FUCK.
stimulating potus
  05/17/10
...
gaped piazza marketing idea
  06/07/10
One of the all time greats
Outnumbered provocative rigor
  06/07/10
since TBF is bumping all of his shit today
floppy adulterous lay idea he suggested
  07/03/10
...
Hateful box office
  07/17/10
Date: June 28th, 2009 11:43 PM Author: To be fair To be ...
Turquoise harsh locale
  07/17/10
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  07/17/10
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  08/06/10
...
mauve frozen reading party crackhouse
  09/06/10
...
Confused abode
  10/16/10
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  10/17/10
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  12/19/10
Holy shit!
fantasy-prone temple
  12/19/10
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  12/30/10
180 Where is part deux?
racy idiot parlour
  12/30/10
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  01/27/11
180 bump
aggressive boyish den alpha
  02/23/11
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  05/07/11
u mad fgt
maniacal sex offender location
  05/07/11
...
Confused abode
  05/07/11
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  06/20/11
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  07/16/11
...
arousing cordovan base
  10/07/11
...
comical crystalline voyeur
  10/21/11
...
Turquoise harsh locale
  10/27/11
2012 BUMP
Turquoise harsh locale
  01/01/12


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:43 PM
Author: plum center

To be fair,

PART I:

One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in his bed he had been transformed into an Asian man. He lay on his dingy unwashed Hello Kitty sheets and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, his tiny, emaciated yellow figure stretched out before him. His frail hairless legs, pitifully thin even compared to the rest of his boyish body, splayed out comically before his tiny nearsighted sliteyes like a splintered bamboo chopstick.

"What's happened to me," he thought. It was no dream. His room lay quietly between the four well-known walls. And above the table, on which a wide assortment of empty Smirnoff bottles had stood just the night before - when Samsa was still a successful ibanker - hung the picture of a familiar woman. It was a gorgeous Russian girl with a fur hat and a fur boa. She sat erect there, lifting up in the direction of the viewer a solid fur muff into which her entire forearm had disappeared, just as he had often disappeared into her muff after a night of heavy boozing. Yet this picture of Svetlana was not his; for this had been poorly cut out of an old Sports Illustrated issue, and was perilously attached to the greasy wall with a potent mix of dried semen, duct tape and profound desperation. And in the place of his hard earned bottle battalion there now stood an curious assortment of thick, strange tomes bearing odd titles - "Criminal Procedure", "Administrative Law", "Secured Transactions" and "TROL Spring 2009" - alongside three gently humming computers, all myseriously logged on to the same website. He immediately knew that he would never have the beautiful woman in the picture again.

"Oh God," he thought. At that moment he felt a slight itching beneath the shaggy black carpet that coated his oily scalp. He slowly pushed himself on his back closer to the bed post so that he could lift his unsightly bulbous head up on his narrow pencil neck more easily, and found the itchy part, which rained down small white flakes as he scratched it; he did not know what to make of them.

He looked over at the alarm clock ticking away by the chest of drawers. "Good God!" he thought. It was half past six, and the hands were going quietly on. It was even past the half hour, already nearly quarter to. What should he do? Did he dare to face the world like this?

As he was thinking all this over in the greatest haste, without being able to make the decision to get out of bed, there was a cautious knock on the basement door by the head of the bed. "Teddy Chu-yu Huang," a sing-song voice called out, "Zao on, lice and shine now boy! You lazy boy!" Was it his mother...was he living at home again with his parents? Gregor was startled when he heard his voice answering. It was clearly and unmistakably his voice, but it was now markedly higher in pitch, marred by a grating Chinese accent which left the words grotesquely distorted so that one did not know if one had heard correctly. Gregor wanted to answer in detail and explain everything, but in these circumstances he confined himself to saying, "Xiexie mama. I get up, woi ai ni." Apparently satisfied, his mother shuffled off slowly on her tiny, exquisitely bound feet.

As a result of that short conversation, however, his father also became aware that his son was still at home, and already he was knocking on one side door, weakly but with his fist. "Te-ddy...Te-ddy!," he called out, "Ni shenti hao ma?" And, after a short while, he called out again in a whinier voice - "CHU-YU!" Gregor directed an answer as best he could: "I go baba, xiexie." He made an effort with the most careful articulation and inserted long pauses between the individual words. His father turned back to his breakfast. Gregor had no intention of opening the door, but rather congratulated himself on his precaution, acquired from years of sleeping around in his former life, of locking all doors during the night.

***

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111444)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:50 PM
Author: bearded at-the-ready station

Rofl!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111526)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:53 PM
Author: Indecent codepig

tyft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111559)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:57 PM
Author: Multi-colored lodge death wish

Good effort, but a resemblance to Pudsmack's early output marks against it I think.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111598)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:58 PM
Author: flatulent talented boltzmann

naw man this was a solid 180, i loled pretty hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111609)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 12:16 AM
Author: Multi-colored lodge death wish

172. I will bump if I remember though. More stuff like this needs to get rolling.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111800)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 12:02 AM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale

180

mOAR

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111644)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 12:18 AM
Author: Vigorous Forum

MOAR

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111832)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 12:53 AM
Author: angry ruby orchestra pit cuckold

190

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12112276)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 3:11 AM
Author: Multi-colored lodge death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12113288)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 3:13 AM
Author: Fragrant Walnut Shrine Jewess

get a life faggot!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12113290)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 3:13 AM
Author: Exciting Bisexual French Chef Toilet Seat

This is serial killer talk.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12113291)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 8:37 AM
Author: Passionate insane sweet tailpipe

Smirnoff eh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12113401)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 12:17 PM
Author: Multi-colored lodge death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12114366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 5:55 PM
Author: plum center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12117160)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 6:15 PM
Author: Odious rough-skinned step-uncle's house

go on

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12117299)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 8:32 PM
Author: Multi-colored lodge death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12118226)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 2nd, 2009 2:55 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12142269)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 3rd, 2009 2:46 PM
Author: flatulent talented boltzmann



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12149990)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 3rd, 2009 4:21 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12150972)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 3rd, 2009 6:01 PM
Author: irate know-it-all electric furnace wagecucks

good use of chinese. should be gregor sam though, to sound more chinky

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12151754)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 3rd, 2009 6:03 PM
Author: plum center

To be fair,

ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12151771)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 5th, 2009 3:55 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12162789)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 6th, 2009 2:06 AM
Author: Multi-colored lodge death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12168193)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 7th, 2009 6:43 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12181948)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2009 5:21 PM
Author: Judgmental legend school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12190852)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2009 9:17 PM
Author: concupiscible transparent hospital

Holy shit how did I miss this?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12290616)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2009 9:17 PM
Author: Overrated multi-billionaire meetinghouse

Oh so incredibly clever!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12290619)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2009 9:20 PM
Author: concupiscible transparent hospital

120, don't ruin this thread like a bitter faggot just because you hate the OP, thx

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12290638)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2009 9:22 PM
Author: Overrated multi-billionaire meetinghouse

It's stupid. Like you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12290656)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2009 9:23 PM
Author: concupiscible transparent hospital

You forgot to say "Hi TBF!"

Link to a better thread you've made? Also, burn in a housefire, etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12290667)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2009 9:18 PM
Author: Sickened Excitant Ticket Booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12290629)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2009 9:23 PM
Author: mind-boggling theatre

Lame.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12290669)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 21st, 2009 6:42 PM
Author: Confused abode

you're lame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12561524)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2009 5:07 PM
Author: flatulent talented boltzmann

Bump for Ted

Never forget

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12369382)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2009 5:09 PM
Author: laughsome domesticated sanctuary antidepressant drug

a gem

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12369389)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2009 5:09 PM
Author: flatulent talented boltzmann

To me, this is one of those threads that should be bumped once or twice a month forever.

This board must never forget.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12369397)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2009 5:38 PM
Author: Pearly beady-eyed fanboi cruise ship



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12369579)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2009 5:40 PM
Author: stimulating potus

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12369595)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2009 5:23 AM
Author: Bearded yapping fortuitous meteor pit

bump for bartards.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12374631)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 3rd, 2009 4:38 PM
Author: Multi-colored lodge death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12415939)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 3rd, 2009 4:45 PM
Author: angry ruby orchestra pit cuckold



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12416030)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 4th, 2009 4:19 AM
Author: Judgmental legend school cafeteria

A certified classic

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12421003)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 4th, 2009 4:26 AM
Author: frisky scourge upon the earth garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12421010)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 4th, 2009 7:10 PM
Author: Ultramarine goal in life space

good stuff

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12425043)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 8th, 2009 7:13 PM
Author: Multi-colored lodge death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12456520)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 14th, 2009 4:45 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12504320)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2009 7:16 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12780245)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2009 7:18 PM
Author: stimulating potus

People often posted "underrated" in regards to a thread or post (sometimes within two minutes of its posting).

This, however, is perhaps the most deserving instance of "underrated."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12780265)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2009 5:52 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12787350)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2009 5:53 PM
Author: Multi-colored lodge death wish

i was thinking about bumping this last night

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12787353)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2009 10:47 PM
Author: crawly brilliant area

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12789205)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 20th, 2009 11:57 PM
Author: angry ruby orchestra pit cuckold



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12797253)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 2nd, 2009 11:58 AM
Author: Judgmental legend school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12888931)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 2nd, 2009 12:03 PM
Author: soul-stirring famous landscape painting native

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12888980)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 3rd, 2009 3:56 PM
Author: Confused abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12898534)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 13th, 2009 11:32 AM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12977038)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 13th, 2009 11:33 AM
Author: Judgmental legend school cafeteria

Excellent bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12977045)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 20th, 2009 1:52 AM
Author: Judgmental legend school cafeteria

Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13035043)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2009 11:54 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13106091)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2009 11:56 PM
Author: Idiotic 180 range

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13106122)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2009 11:57 PM
Author: concupiscible transparent hospital

good bump ty

RIP Ted

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13106138)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 24th, 2009 4:55 PM
Author: Cerebral coldplay fan library

he's still with us.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13358802)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 31st, 2009 12:54 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13137087)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 15th, 2009 8:04 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13274744)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 15th, 2009 8:15 PM
Author: mustard doobsian indirect expression church building

Holy shit, hadn't seen this before. Frightening.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13274843)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 24th, 2009 4:50 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13358784)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 29th, 2009 1:02 AM
Author: Judgmental legend school cafeteria

bump for English

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13392864)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 29th, 2009 1:15 AM
Author: Cerebral coldplay fan library



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13393026)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 4th, 2009 11:35 PM
Author: Judgmental legend school cafeteria

it's time again

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13449448)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 6th, 2009 2:12 AM
Author: black territorial pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13463243)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 6th, 2009 2:20 AM
Author: concupiscible transparent hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13463317)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 12th, 2009 5:00 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13530818)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 12th, 2009 6:11 PM
Author: Confused abode

this thread hasn't gotten the attention it deserved

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13531402)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 12th, 2009 6:25 PM
Author: Honey-headed massive point

agreed, especially given its authenticity in the proper use of chinese

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13531511)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 12th, 2009 6:23 PM
Author: Cracking sapphire principal's office

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13531503)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2009 3:54 AM
Author: Razzle-dazzle Sooty Site

bump for dipshit aspie noobs who think tbf doesn't post anything cool

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13603201)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2009 1:36 AM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13663012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2009 3:56 PM
Author: Rusted kitchen regret

SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY BUMP

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13665845)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 1st, 2010 3:02 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale

DECADE BUMP

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13695105)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 6th, 2010 3:36 AM
Author: Confused abode

bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13734665)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 6th, 2010 4:25 AM
Author: burgundy home pisswyrm

This was scary. 180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13734821)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 6th, 2010 4:47 AM
Author: Rebellious internal respiration wrinkle

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13734889)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 6th, 2010 5:11 AM
Author: soul-stirring famous landscape painting native

A true 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13734910)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 21st, 2010 2:55 PM
Author: concupiscible transparent hospital

bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13870557)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 5th, 2010 12:45 AM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14020226)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 19th, 2010 9:56 PM
Author: galvanic slimy theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14175578)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2010 10:38 PM
Author: Rusted kitchen regret

Bump for return of search

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14206008)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2010 3:45 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14559420)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2010 3:58 PM
Author: Confused abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14559506)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 9th, 2010 12:17 PM
Author: aggressive boyish den alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14654413)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 9th, 2010 12:21 PM
Author: Pearly beady-eyed fanboi cruise ship



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14654456)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 17th, 2010 6:54 PM
Author: flickering olive locus black woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14740396)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2010 10:16 PM
Author: Pearly beady-eyed fanboi cruise ship



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14874272)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2010 10:27 PM
Author: Confused abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14874381)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 11th, 2010 12:24 AM
Author: lascivious grizzly pozpig legal warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14960477)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 17th, 2010 7:36 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15015703)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 17th, 2010 7:41 PM
Author: stimulating potus

Holy FUCK.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15015725)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 7th, 2010 2:24 AM
Author: gaped piazza marketing idea

...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15184494)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 7th, 2010 2:29 AM
Author: Outnumbered provocative rigor

One of the all time greats

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15184535)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 3rd, 2010 2:27 PM
Author: floppy adulterous lay idea he suggested

since TBF is bumping all of his shit today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15405413)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2010 11:38 AM
Author: Hateful box office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15531186)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2010 11:47 AM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:43 PM

Author: To be fair

To be fair,

PART I:

One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in his bed he had been transformed into an Asian man. He lay on his dingy unwashed Hello Kitty sheets and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, his tiny, emaciated yellow figure stretched out before him. His frail hairless legs, pitifully thin even compared to the rest of his boyish body, splayed out comically before his tiny nearsighted sliteyes like a splintered bamboo chopstick.

“What’s happened to me,” he thought. It was no dream. His room lay quietly between the four well-known walls. And above the table, on which a wide assortment of empty Smirnoff bottles had stood just the night before —Samsa was a successful ibanker— hung the picture of a familiar woman. It was a gorgeous Russian girl with a fur hat and a fur boa. She sat erect there, lifting up in the direction of the viewer a solid fur muff into which her entire forearm had disappeared, just as he had often disappeared into her muff after a night of heavy boozing. Yet this picture of Svetlana was not his; for this had been poorly cut out of an old Sports Illustrated issue, and was perilously attached to the greasy wall with a potent mix of dried semen, duct tape and profound desperation. And in the place of his hard earned bottle battalion there now stood an curious assortment of thick, strange tomes bearing odd titles - "Criminal Procedure", "Administrative Law", "Secured Transactions" and "TROL Spring 2009" - alongside three gently humming computers, all myseriously logged on to the same website. He immediately knew that he would never have the beautiful woman in the picture again.

“O God,” he thought. At that moment he felt a slight itching beneath the shaggy black carpet that coated his oily scalp. He slowly pushed himself on his back closer to the bed post so that he could lift his unsightly bulbous head up on his narrow pencil neck more easily, and found the itchy part, which rained down small white flakes as he scratched it — he did not know what to make of them.

He looked over at the alarm clock ticking away by the chest of drawers. “Good God!” he thought. It was half past six, and the hands were going quietly on. It was even past the half hour, already nearly quarter to. What should he do? Did he dare to face the world like this?

As he was thinking all this over in the greatest haste, without being able to make the decision to get out of bed, there was a cautious knock on the basement door by the head of the bed. “Teddy Chu-yu Huang,” a sing-song voice called out, “Zao on, lice and shine now boy! You lazy boy!" Was it his mother...was he living at home again with his parents? Gregor was startled when he heard his voice answering. It was clearly and unmistakably his voice, but it was now markedly higher in pitch, marred by a grating Chinese accent which left the words grotesquely distorted so that one did not know if one had heard correctly. Gregor wanted to answer in detail and explain everything, but in these circumstances he confined himself to saying, “Xiexie mama. I get up, woi ai ni.” Apparently satisfied, his mother shuffled off slowly on her tiny, exquistely bound feet. As a result of that short conversation, however, his father also became aware that his son was still at home, and already his he was knocking on one side door, weakly but with his fist. “Te-ddy...Te-ddy!,” he called out, “Ni shenti hao ma?” And, after a short while, he called out again in a whinier voice - “CHU-YU!” Gregor directed an answer as best he could: “I go baba, xiexie.” He made an effort with the most careful articulation and inserted long pauses between the individual words. His father turned back to his breakfast. Gregor had no intention of opening the door, but congratulated himself on his precaution, acquired from years of sleeping around in his former life, of locking all doors during the night, even at home.

***

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15531215)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2010 3:46 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15532826)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 6th, 2010 2:55 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15720850)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 6th, 2010 1:08 AM
Author: mauve frozen reading party crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15975466)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 16th, 2010 4:56 PM
Author: Confused abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#16309193)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2010 6:27 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#16317199)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 19th, 2010 1:31 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#16851644)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 19th, 2010 1:35 PM
Author: fantasy-prone temple

Holy shit!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#16851658)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2010 1:23 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#16930974)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2010 1:33 PM
Author: racy idiot parlour

180

Where is part deux?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#16931027)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 27th, 2011 6:11 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#17152199)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2011 7:03 PM
Author: aggressive boyish den alpha

180 bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#17355148)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 7th, 2011 5:00 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#17949147)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 7th, 2011 5:04 PM
Author: maniacal sex offender location

u mad fgt

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#17949169)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 7th, 2011 5:05 PM
Author: Confused abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#17949171)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 20th, 2011 11:31 AM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#18299150)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2011 11:16 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#18526571)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 7th, 2011 9:19 PM
Author: arousing cordovan base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#19123502)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 21st, 2011 8:20 PM
Author: comical crystalline voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#19217378)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2011 6:57 PM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#19253624)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 1st, 2012 3:12 AM
Author: Turquoise harsh locale

2012 BUMP

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#19681497)