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Why I won't be at my high school reunion

As pretty much anybody who knows me by now, I'm a geek. I ha...
odious cuckoldry marketing idea
  07/17/09
Christ, what a loser.
180 double fault
  07/17/09
I laffed.
self-centered cocky windowlicker
  07/17/09
LOL @ the karate part
odious cuckoldry marketing idea
  07/17/09
LOL @ the fact that he's 42 and on Facebook, despite not lik...
180 double fault
  07/17/09
Sad old man.
odious cuckoldry marketing idea
  07/17/09
I thought this was literally about our High School dweeb who...
lilac dead forum nibblets
  07/17/09
Way too bitter. But this is a decent line: "why I woul...
nudist swashbuckling corner mediation
  09/19/10
I'm not going to read all that. My reasoning was far simple...
self-centered cocky windowlicker
  07/17/09
HAWT
confused federal athletic conference son of senegal
  07/17/09
"My dad taught me about bell curves and standard deviat...
Glittery range
  07/17/09
That sentence describes me, too, but you'd better fucking be...
Haunting Theater
  07/17/09
Fry's the electronics store or Fry's the grocery store?
nudist swashbuckling corner mediation
  09/19/10
Please sell your story to Universal
Aphrodisiac translucent old irish cottage
  07/17/09
OMG what a geek! Is this surprising? You're all fucking m...
Obsidian Shaky Site
  07/17/09
we're sorry that this brought back painful memories of the k...
Aromatic zombie-like sanctuary potus
  07/17/09
Nothing wrong with being a geek. Being passive-aggressively ...
180 double fault
  07/17/09
What about not being a Geek, but being passively-aggressivel...
floppy location
  07/17/09
that guy probably makes pretty good money
Turquoise locale
  07/17/09
100k tops I'd guess. Google doesn't pay big money since they...
effete rigor
  07/17/09
ty
Turquoise locale
  07/17/09
yw
effete rigor
  07/17/09
Of all of my friends from ug, the ones that have worked at g...
Bateful free-loading home
  07/17/09
i'll be there, friend
Pink Dragon
  07/17/09
"My son will, most likely, have his black belt by the t...
effete rigor
  07/17/09
Yeha, I laughed hard there, as if "black belt" mea...
Haunting Theater
  07/17/09
his name is Mark Chu-Carroll - product of WGWAG?
Dashing piazza
  07/17/09
yes
Turquoise locale
  07/17/09
Photos make participant in AGWWG seem more likely.
180 double fault
  07/17/09
...
crimson keepsake machete
  09/19/10
definitive WGWAG
effete rigor
  07/17/09
The karate part really kicked that post up a notch. LOL @ t...
maize market
  07/17/09
"Karate is so 1984. Your kid will get his ass kicked by...
maize market
  07/17/09
I like his pony tail.
Erotic Spot
  07/17/09
He looks like a giant, balding bird with a ponytail.
Rusted voyeur
  07/17/09
http://scienceblogs.com/clock/upload/2007/08/Mark%20CC.jpg ...
maize market
  07/17/09
LOL
effete rigor
  07/17/09
180
Azure indian lodge
  07/17/09
:(
self-centered cocky windowlicker
  07/17/09
FATALITY!
nudist swashbuckling corner mediation
  09/19/10
I was sympathetic towards him until he started getting all a...
charismatic preventive strike
  07/17/09
I believe this man has a great deal to contribute to the fie...
thriller shimmering black woman reading party
  07/17/09
ITT: justifications for force-sterilizing Pensive.
red heaven
  07/17/09
I showed up at my HS reunion drunk and wearing a wife beater...
floppy location
  07/17/09
I hope 5 years later at your next one you showed up dressed ...
Haunting Theater
  07/17/09
This is a great plan. I haven't had my next one yet, but I'l...
floppy location
  07/17/09
Tell them you made money in some work-from-home scam, like s...
nudist swashbuckling corner mediation
  09/19/10
So dude, does this explain you rejected me as your facebook ...
provocative gay wizard
  07/17/09
tyler cowen trolled for aspies and autists as being potentia...
Orange Comical Garrison
  07/17/09
I really don't get xo sometimes. This guy sounds like a good...
supple chrome pit stock car
  07/17/09
"He's a hyperactive little geek, just like me. He'll pr...
Motley Stag Film
  09/19/10
better for the kid to confront what he is now, rather than l...
Dun Space Really Tough Guy
  09/19/10
...
concupiscible sienna dilemma
  09/19/10
i didn't notice that; it really does exemplify what a cluele...
Adventurous Pea-brained Personal Credit Line
  09/19/10
he sounds like an asshole who'll project all his insecuritie...
Motley Stag Film
  09/19/10
definitely. not difficult to imagine him being disappointed...
Adventurous Pea-brained Personal Credit Line
  09/19/10


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:30 PM
Author: odious cuckoldry marketing idea

As pretty much anybody who knows me by now, I'm a geek. I have been since I was a kid. My dad taught me about bell curves and standard deviations when I was in third grade, and I thought it was pretty much the coolest damn thing I'd ever seen. That's the kind of kid I was.

In high school, I didn't have a single real friend in my graduating class. I had a very few friends. But being absolutely literal, there was not a single person in my graduating class who came close to treating me like a friend. Not one.

I was ignored. At worst, I was beaten. In between, I was used as a sort of status enhancer: telling people that you'd seen me doing some supposedly awful or hysterical thing was a common scheme for getting ahead in certain social circles. In the most extreme case, someone painted a swastika onto the street in front of my house with gasoline, and lit it. (In autumn, in a wooded neighborhood.)

I do think that my hyperactivity and my lack of social skills both helped make me such a good target, and discouraged anyone from intervening on my behalf.

But I don't think that that excuses anyone who abused me. It doesn't excuse the bastards who made up stories about me. It doesn't justify the people who threw me against walls. It doesn't explain the guy who broke my fingers, because he wanted to know what it would sound like. And it doesn't absolve the people who watched, and laughed while that happened.

Now it's twenty five years since I got out of that miserable fucking hell-hole. And people from my high school class are suddenly getting in touch, sending me email, trying to friend me on Facebook, and trying to convince me to bring my family to the reunion. Even some of the people who used to beat the crap out of me on a regular basis are getting in touch as if we're old friends.

My reaction to them... What the fuck is wrong with you people? Why would you think that I would want to have anything to do with you? How do you have the chutzpah to act as if we're old friends? How dare you? I see the RSVP list that one of you sent me, and I literally feel nauseous just remembering your names.

The only positive thing that ever came out of my time with you people is that my children are studying karate. My son will, most likely, have his black belt by the time he finishes fourth grade. He's a hyperactive little geek, just like me. He'll probably go through some social grief, just like I did.

But when some fucker like one of you tries to lay a hand on him or one of his friends, he'll beat the living crap out of them. One of the mantras that his karate school follows is: Never start a fight, but if a fight starts, always be the one to finish it. And that's what he'll be able to do. To definitively finish any fight that anyone starts with him in a way that will teach his abusers and their cohorts to stay the fuck away.

And that's all that I want from you. Stay the fuck away from me. I don't want to hear about your lives. I don't want to know how you've changed since high school. I don't want to hear about your jobs, your spouses, your children. I've got a good life now, and I cannot imagine a reason in the world why I would pollute that world with contact with any of you.

http://scienceblogs.com/goodmath/2009/07/very_off_topic_why_i_wont_be_a.php

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272436)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:31 PM
Author: 180 double fault

Christ, what a loser.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272462)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:32 PM
Author: self-centered cocky windowlicker

I laffed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272466)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:34 PM
Author: odious cuckoldry marketing idea

LOL @ the karate part

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272478)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:35 PM
Author: 180 double fault

LOL @ the fact that he's 42 and on Facebook, despite not liking his high school classmates.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272485)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:41 PM
Author: odious cuckoldry marketing idea

Sad old man.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272543)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:47 PM
Author: lilac dead forum nibblets

I thought this was literally about our High School dweeb who suffered many of the same things.

I recently became friends with him on FB and he appears to still be a huge dork.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272603)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2010 3:44 AM
Author: nudist swashbuckling corner mediation

Way too bitter. But this is a decent line: "why I would pollute that world with contact with any of you."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082551)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:31 PM
Author: self-centered cocky windowlicker

I'm not going to read all that. My reasoning was far simpler.

Two words: I'M FAT.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272448)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:38 PM
Author: confused federal athletic conference son of senegal

HAWT

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272520)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:41 PM
Author: Glittery range

"My dad taught me about bell curves and standard deviations when I was in third grade, and I thought it was pretty much the coolest damn thing I'd ever seen."

the article could have ended there

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272549)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 5:23 PM
Author: Haunting Theater

That sentence describes me, too, but you'd better fucking believe I'll be at my 10 year reunion. I'm the most successful person by far from my HS. The only other one who comes close is a dood who went to Stanford for UG, graduated engineering, flamed out, and now is a clerk at Fry's.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273465)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2010 3:45 AM
Author: nudist swashbuckling corner mediation

Fry's the electronics store or Fry's the grocery store?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082554)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:40 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac translucent old irish cottage

Please sell your story to Universal

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272535)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:43 PM
Author: Obsidian Shaky Site

OMG what a geek!

Is this surprising? You're all fucking morons.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272556)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:46 PM
Author: Aromatic zombie-like sanctuary potus

we're sorry that this brought back painful memories of the kids who beat you up everyday in middle school.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272591)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:46 PM
Author: 180 double fault

Nothing wrong with being a geek. Being passive-aggressively bitter about it in your early 40s is the problem.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272592)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 4:53 PM
Author: floppy location

What about not being a Geek, but being passively-aggressively bitter about everything, not just high school, in your early 40s?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273253)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:46 PM
Author: Turquoise locale

that guy probably makes pretty good money

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272597)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:48 PM
Author: effete rigor

100k tops I'd guess. Google doesn't pay big money since they don't need to.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272616)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:52 PM
Author: Turquoise locale

ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272664)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:58 PM
Author: effete rigor

yw

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272760)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 5:36 PM
Author: Bateful free-loading home

Of all of my friends from ug, the ones that have worked at google are by far the wealthiest and happiest of the bunch. G has tons of perks that they don't need to have, but they do b/c they are awesome. Things like free lunch everyday, even for people on maternity leave, lots of free sports/concernt/event tickets, and don't forget the stock options.

If this guy has been at google for more than a decade, he is probably a millionaire.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273601)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:46 PM
Author: Pink Dragon

i'll be there, friend

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272599)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:47 PM
Author: effete rigor

"My son will, most likely, have his black belt by the time he finishes fourth grade...He'll probably go through some social grief, just like I did...But when some fucker like one of you tries to lay a hand on him or one of his friends, he'll beat the living crap out of them."

LOLZLOLZ

This is unreal.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272606)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 5:24 PM
Author: Haunting Theater

Yeha, I laughed hard there, as if "black belt" means anything when we're talking about someone who weighs 60 lbs or whatever.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273476)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:48 PM
Author: Dashing piazza

his name is Mark Chu-Carroll - product of WGWAG?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272624)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:52 PM
Author: Turquoise locale

yes

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272657)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:52 PM
Author: 180 double fault

Photos make participant in AGWWG seem more likely.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272660)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2010 2:29 AM
Author: crimson keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082180)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:53 PM
Author: effete rigor

definitive WGWAG

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272686)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:50 PM
Author: maize market

The karate part really kicked that post up a notch. LOL @ thinking some lame childrens' karate classes will teach your geeky, 120lb son to "finish fights."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272633)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:55 PM
Author: maize market

"Karate is so 1984. Your kid will get his ass kicked by anybody with a decent ground game.

Your son is well on his way to ending up like you: a 40 year old virgin.

lol @ your life."

Posted by: Mike Church | July 17, 2009 3:39 PM

hahah

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272715)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:50 PM
Author: Erotic Spot

I like his pony tail.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272640)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:54 PM
Author: Rusted voyeur

He looks like a giant, balding bird with a ponytail.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272710)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:57 PM
Author: maize market

http://scienceblogs.com/clock/upload/2007/08/Mark%20CC.jpg

"MY SON KNOWS KARATE!~"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272744)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:58 PM
Author: effete rigor

LOL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272765)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 3:59 PM
Author: Azure indian lodge

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272779)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 4:04 PM
Author: self-centered cocky windowlicker

:(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272834)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2010 3:47 AM
Author: nudist swashbuckling corner mediation

FATALITY!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082559)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 4:04 PM
Author: charismatic preventive strike

I was sympathetic towards him until he started getting all aggressive about his nerdy son kicking ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272835)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 4:12 PM
Author: thriller shimmering black woman reading party

I believe this man has a great deal to contribute to the field of Cho Studies.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272892)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 4:24 PM
Author: red heaven

ITT: justifications for force-sterilizing Pensive.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273013)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 4:55 PM
Author: floppy location

I showed up at my HS reunion drunk and wearing a wife beater to convince people i had become some white trash hick.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273261)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 5:26 PM
Author: Haunting Theater

I hope 5 years later at your next one you showed up dressed baller so you could brag about going from trash to rich in 5 years.

That would piss everyone who had done nothing with their lives off so hard. Lulz would likely ensue.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273499)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 5:33 PM
Author: floppy location

This is a great plan. I haven't had my next one yet, but I'll do this. Should I tell them I inherited a lot of money from a rich uncle or something?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273567)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2010 3:48 AM
Author: nudist swashbuckling corner mediation

Tell them you made money in some work-from-home scam, like stuffing envelopes. Convince someone to try it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082564)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 5:10 PM
Author: provocative gay wizard

So dude, does this explain you rejected me as your facebook friend?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273375)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 5:28 PM
Author: Orange Comical Garrison

tyler cowen trolled for aspies and autists as being potentially productive members of society.

http://chronicle.com/free/v55/i41/41cowenautism.htm

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273515)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2009 5:43 PM
Author: supple chrome pit stock car

I really don't get xo sometimes. This guy sounds like a good person and a great dad.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273667)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2010 2:34 AM
Author: Motley Stag Film

"He's a hyperactive little geek, just like me. He'll probably go through some social grief, just like I did. "

He really shouldn't be talking about his kid that way, especially in public.

wtf

He's probably the type that would resent his kid if the kid was well adjusted and well liked and confident.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082211)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2010 2:41 AM
Author: Dun Space Really Tough Guy

better for the kid to confront what he is now, rather than later when it would be more painful.

they should sort children in the early grades according to the roles they are destined to play in life: boys should be sorted into Alpha-male and Beta-male (i.e., "geek" etc.) slots.

this will be more natural, and the children can adjust early on to their roles, hopefully avoiding any painful "identity crisis" in adolescence.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082258)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2010 3:03 AM
Author: concupiscible sienna dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082380)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2010 3:08 AM
Author: Adventurous Pea-brained Personal Credit Line

i didn't notice that; it really does exemplify what a clueless parent and person he his

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082416)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2010 3:11 AM
Author: Motley Stag Film

he sounds like an asshole who'll project all his insecurities on his kid.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082429)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2010 3:13 AM
Author: Adventurous Pea-brained Personal Credit Line

definitely. not difficult to imagine him being disappointed if his kid doesn't replicate those insecurities, which he's turned into a badge of authenticity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082441)