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Why I won't be at my high school reunion
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:30 PM Author: ivory cowardly toaster As pretty much anybody who knows me by now, I'm a geek. I have been since I was a kid. My dad taught me about bell curves and standard deviations when I was in third grade, and I thought it was pretty much the coolest damn thing I'd ever seen. That's the kind of kid I was.
In high school, I didn't have a single real friend in my graduating class. I had a very few friends. But being absolutely literal, there was not a single person in my graduating class who came close to treating me like a friend. Not one.
I was ignored. At worst, I was beaten. In between, I was used as a sort of status enhancer: telling people that you'd seen me doing some supposedly awful or hysterical thing was a common scheme for getting ahead in certain social circles. In the most extreme case, someone painted a swastika onto the street in front of my house with gasoline, and lit it. (In autumn, in a wooded neighborhood.)
I do think that my hyperactivity and my lack of social skills both helped make me such a good target, and discouraged anyone from intervening on my behalf.
But I don't think that that excuses anyone who abused me. It doesn't excuse the bastards who made up stories about me. It doesn't justify the people who threw me against walls. It doesn't explain the guy who broke my fingers, because he wanted to know what it would sound like. And it doesn't absolve the people who watched, and laughed while that happened.
Now it's twenty five years since I got out of that miserable fucking hell-hole. And people from my high school class are suddenly getting in touch, sending me email, trying to friend me on Facebook, and trying to convince me to bring my family to the reunion. Even some of the people who used to beat the crap out of me on a regular basis are getting in touch as if we're old friends.
My reaction to them... What the fuck is wrong with you people? Why would you think that I would want to have anything to do with you? How do you have the chutzpah to act as if we're old friends? How dare you? I see the RSVP list that one of you sent me, and I literally feel nauseous just remembering your names.
The only positive thing that ever came out of my time with you people is that my children are studying karate. My son will, most likely, have his black belt by the time he finishes fourth grade. He's a hyperactive little geek, just like me. He'll probably go through some social grief, just like I did.
But when some fucker like one of you tries to lay a hand on him or one of his friends, he'll beat the living crap out of them. One of the mantras that his karate school follows is: Never start a fight, but if a fight starts, always be the one to finish it. And that's what he'll be able to do. To definitively finish any fight that anyone starts with him in a way that will teach his abusers and their cohorts to stay the fuck away.
And that's all that I want from you. Stay the fuck away from me. I don't want to hear about your lives. I don't want to know how you've changed since high school. I don't want to hear about your jobs, your spouses, your children. I've got a good life now, and I cannot imagine a reason in the world why I would pollute that world with contact with any of you.
http://scienceblogs.com/goodmath/2009/07/very_off_topic_why_i_wont_be_a.php |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:31 PM Author: wild massive sanctuary Christ, what a loser. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272462) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:32 PM Author: Abusive Appetizing Gaming Laptop Bawdyhouse I laffed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272466) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:34 PM Author: ivory cowardly toaster LOL @ the karate part (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272478) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:35 PM Author: wild massive sanctuary LOL @ the fact that he's 42 and on Facebook, despite not liking his high school classmates. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272485) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:41 PM Author: ivory cowardly toaster Sad old man. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272543) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:47 PM Author: olive wonderful base I thought this was literally about our High School dweeb who suffered many of the same things.
I recently became friends with him on FB and he appears to still be a huge dork. |
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Date: September 19th, 2010 3:44 AM Author: bright idiot affirmative action Way too bitter. But this is a decent line: "why I would pollute that world with contact with any of you." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082551) |
Date: July 17th, 2009 3:31 PM Author: Abusive Appetizing Gaming Laptop Bawdyhouse I'm not going to read all that. My reasoning was far simpler.
Two words: I'M FAT. |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:38 PM Author: soggy glittery locus HAWT (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272520) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:41 PM Author: Impressive school "My dad taught me about bell curves and standard deviations when I was in third grade, and I thought it was pretty much the coolest damn thing I'd ever seen."
the article could have ended there |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 5:23 PM Author: bossy startling crotch That sentence describes me, too, but you'd better fucking believe I'll be at my 10 year reunion. I'm the most successful person by far from my HS. The only other one who comes close is a dood who went to Stanford for UG, graduated engineering, flamed out, and now is a clerk at Fry's. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273465) |
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Date: September 19th, 2010 3:45 AM Author: bright idiot affirmative action Fry's the electronics store or Fry's the grocery store? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082554) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:40 PM Author: Fighting Yapping Meetinghouse Famous Landscape Painting Please sell your story to Universal (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272535) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:43 PM Author: Bearded ticket booth OMG what a geek!
Is this surprising? You're all fucking morons. |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:46 PM Author: Cyan tanning salon antidepressant drug we're sorry that this brought back painful memories of the kids who beat you up everyday in middle school. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272591) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:46 PM Author: wild massive sanctuary Nothing wrong with being a geek. Being passive-aggressively bitter about it in your early 40s is the problem. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272592) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 4:53 PM Author: talented pocket flask property What about not being a Geek, but being passively-aggressively bitter about everything, not just high school, in your early 40s? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273253) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:46 PM Author: Slippery nubile point that guy probably makes pretty good money (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272597) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:48 PM Author: thirsty amethyst community account 100k tops I'd guess. Google doesn't pay big money since they don't need to. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272616) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:52 PM Author: Slippery nubile point ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272664) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:58 PM Author: thirsty amethyst community account yw (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272760) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 5:36 PM Author: Passionate mahogany indian lodge keepsake machete Of all of my friends from ug, the ones that have worked at google are by far the wealthiest and happiest of the bunch. G has tons of perks that they don't need to have, but they do b/c they are awesome. Things like free lunch everyday, even for people on maternity leave, lots of free sports/concernt/event tickets, and don't forget the stock options.
If this guy has been at google for more than a decade, he is probably a millionaire. |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:46 PM Author: flirting sound barrier i'll be there, friend (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272599) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:47 PM Author: thirsty amethyst community account "My son will, most likely, have his black belt by the time he finishes fourth grade...He'll probably go through some social grief, just like I did...But when some fucker like one of you tries to lay a hand on him or one of his friends, he'll beat the living crap out of them."
LOLZLOLZ
This is unreal. |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 5:24 PM Author: bossy startling crotch Yeha, I laughed hard there, as if "black belt" means anything when we're talking about someone who weighs 60 lbs or whatever. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273476) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:48 PM Author: anal tripping trailer park his name is Mark Chu-Carroll - product of WGWAG? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272624) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:52 PM Author: Slippery nubile point yes (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272657) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:52 PM Author: wild massive sanctuary Photos make participant in AGWWG seem more likely. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272660) |
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Date: September 19th, 2010 2:29 AM Author: Green cracking associate native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082180) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:53 PM Author: thirsty amethyst community account definitive WGWAG (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272686) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:50 PM Author: Beady-eyed Shitlib Factory Reset Button The karate part really kicked that post up a notch. LOL @ thinking some lame childrens' karate classes will teach your geeky, 120lb son to "finish fights." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272633) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:55 PM Author: Beady-eyed Shitlib Factory Reset Button "Karate is so 1984. Your kid will get his ass kicked by anybody with a decent ground game.
Your son is well on his way to ending up like you: a 40 year old virgin.
lol @ your life."
Posted by: Mike Church | July 17, 2009 3:39 PM
hahah |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:50 PM Author: vibrant laser beams area I like his pony tail. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272640) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:54 PM Author: obsidian half-breed He looks like a giant, balding bird with a ponytail. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272710) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:57 PM Author: Beady-eyed Shitlib Factory Reset Button http://scienceblogs.com/clock/upload/2007/08/Mark%20CC.jpg
"MY SON KNOWS KARATE!~" |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:58 PM Author: thirsty amethyst community account LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272765) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 3:59 PM Author: Stirring main people 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272779) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 4:04 PM Author: Abusive Appetizing Gaming Laptop Bawdyhouse :( (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272834) |
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Date: September 19th, 2010 3:47 AM Author: bright idiot affirmative action FATALITY! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082559) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 4:04 PM Author: razzle-dazzle heaven milk I was sympathetic towards him until he started getting all aggressive about his nerdy son kicking ass. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272835) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 4:12 PM Author: Cerise aromatic crackhouse mad-dog skullcap I believe this man has a great deal to contribute to the field of Cho Studies. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12272892) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 4:24 PM Author: dull fanboi ITT: justifications for force-sterilizing Pensive. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273013) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 4:55 PM Author: talented pocket flask property I showed up at my HS reunion drunk and wearing a wife beater to convince people i had become some white trash hick. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273261) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 5:26 PM Author: bossy startling crotch I hope 5 years later at your next one you showed up dressed baller so you could brag about going from trash to rich in 5 years.
That would piss everyone who had done nothing with their lives off so hard. Lulz would likely ensue. |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 5:33 PM Author: talented pocket flask property This is a great plan. I haven't had my next one yet, but I'll do this. Should I tell them I inherited a lot of money from a rich uncle or something? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273567) |
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Date: September 19th, 2010 3:48 AM Author: bright idiot affirmative action Tell them you made money in some work-from-home scam, like stuffing envelopes. Convince someone to try it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082564) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 5:10 PM Author: Slate Stead So dude, does this explain you rejected me as your facebook friend? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273375) |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 5:28 PM Author: Contagious skinny woman den tyler cowen trolled for aspies and autists as being potentially productive members of society.
http://chronicle.com/free/v55/i41/41cowenautism.htm |
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Date: July 17th, 2009 5:43 PM Author: diverse shaky rigor I really don't get xo sometimes. This guy sounds like a good person and a great dad. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#12273667) |
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Date: September 19th, 2010 2:34 AM Author: Turquoise corn cake "He's a hyperactive little geek, just like me. He'll probably go through some social grief, just like I did. "
He really shouldn't be talking about his kid that way, especially in public.
wtf
He's probably the type that would resent his kid if the kid was well adjusted and well liked and confident. |
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Date: September 19th, 2010 2:41 AM Author: 180 immigrant feces better for the kid to confront what he is now, rather than later when it would be more painful.
they should sort children in the early grades according to the roles they are destined to play in life: boys should be sorted into Alpha-male and Beta-male (i.e., "geek" etc.) slots.
this will be more natural, and the children can adjust early on to their roles, hopefully avoiding any painful "identity crisis" in adolescence. |
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Date: September 19th, 2010 3:03 AM Author: Razzle lodge goyim (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082380) |
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Date: September 19th, 2010 3:08 AM Author: Apoplectic international law enforcement agency i didn't notice that; it really does exemplify what a clueless parent and person he his (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082416) |
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Date: September 19th, 2010 3:11 AM Author: Turquoise corn cake he sounds like an asshole who'll project all his insecurities on his kid. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082429) |
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Date: September 19th, 2010 3:13 AM Author: Apoplectic international law enforcement agency definitely. not difficult to imagine him being disappointed if his kid doesn't replicate those insecurities, which he's turned into a badge of authenticity (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1043872&forum_id=2#16082441) |