I've been pretty tame so far due to all the safeguards already in place. For example I can't go to porn sites or anything and some IT back office indian guy is on my screen at all times making sure I'm not doing inappropriate shit. Once he sent me a communicator message saying "Sir, I was wondering the relevance of the current program to your work." I uninstalled world of warcraft after that incident.

However, one time we had to go on a roadshow to cleveland. I had some friends there so in the downtime they took me to a strip club. We got bottle service and food and a room and I paid for all of it thinking I can get the company to expense it. The strip club shows up as "Brook brothers" or something so I listed it as a dinner. I didn't want to explain it to my VP so I just forged his signature and told HR it was good.

Also, even if I get off early, I wait until dinnertime so I can get free food comp'd from my firm. I usually time it so I have 30 minutes left so that when I go downstairs to go home, the food arrives and I am able to pick up my food in the bag and take it home. The limit for that is 25 bucks but sometimes I list 2 people dinners and spend 50 bucks if my fellow analyst leaves early and doesn't use his option. He lets me do this though through his account so I guess it's not that bad. I like having 50 bucks to play with since it covers breakfast for me the next day.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1109274&forum_id=2#12972030)

For hours, adding up to weeks

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1109274&forum_id=2#12972200)

after I dropped my load in his desk drawer, I covered it with some papers and envelopes, shut the door, and left for a fun-filled Friday night.

That Monday was fantastic. My office is on the floor above his and I sat there awaiting my triumph and resisting the urge to head downstairs to see the fun. I almost lost it when a fellow associate came in my office and said something smelled kinds funny on the lower floors. thankfully I stayed cool but later got the full story from people down there.

Apparently, he didn't notice anything until noon (ex-smoker) when his secretary came in and complained about the smell. They both began to tear the place apart, looking for the stinky little culprit I left a mere 70hrs before.

Then BAM he finally opens the drawer and moves the papers to discover the little "intestinal sculpture" I had left in his honor.

He instantly began to gag and cough. The secretary came over and shrieked in horror. As if this was some type of cue, the managing partner sprayed vomit from his mouth, with a fair bit of it landing in the drawer and on his secretary's skirt. This in turn caused her to vomit, all over the managing partner's face, suit and desk.

They both ran to the bathrooms and went home for the rest of the day. The building's maintenance crew refused to touch it and they had to bring in a special cleaning service. There was a witch-hunt to find the culprit and the smell lingered for days. Actually the vomit smell was worse than the shit smell.

I think they ended up blaming some poor hispanic guy in office services who had recently been let go for sexual harrassment. The partner switched offices and the office stood vacant for at least 3 or 4 months until a new lateral was put there. Needless to say, I laid low, played it cool, and got away scot free.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1109274&forum_id=2#12972428)

Good job though, that is one crazy story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1109274&forum_id=2#12972477)

making sure the coast was clear, I shut my office door. I then reached into my desk where I keep my hidden little bottle of vodka for such occasions. I poured about 3 fingers into my coffee cup to toast my success.

as I sipped my vodka, I decided I need to play my victory song. so I went to youtube and fired it up with my feet up on my desk. as the words washed over me, I closed my eyes and smiled, in a state of pure bliss, only hearing the words "Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you, Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you . . ."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1109274&forum_id=2#12972911)

A well earned 180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1109274&forum_id=2#12975050)

So I was doing her doggie style and she makes a lot of noise so I had to cover her mouth and constantly remind her to shut up. I heard a knock on the door and we both froze but it went away. I couldn't finish after that but we got dressed and I made her suck me off until I came. Then I went back to work but that was pretty scary when someone knocked.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1109274&forum_id=2#12972531)

My last job I came in at 12.30pm and went directly to lunch until 2pm, then usually went home around 6-7pm. Ah, good times.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1109274&forum_id=2#12973107)