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Hilarious Penn Law student website/resume - Let's bash this TTT

Anyone here know this douche? http://www.deshif.com/
Boyish amber macaca
  03/09/05
Wow... just wow. All that's missing is an LSAT score. # W...
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
Now don't be jealous just because "message board addict...
narrow-minded school cafeteria
  06/18/05
he evidently was formally congratulated for 'oustanding acad...
mustard home famous landscape painting
  03/09/05
Hey, don't sell him short! He was also formally congratulate...
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
That's the most TTT part of that whole travesty of a CV.
Saffron spectacular people who are hurt
  03/09/05
Have you considered that the resume people post on their per...
maniacal church
  03/09/05
go away, David
Floppy faggotry
  03/09/05
Dude the guy is in Cuba right now. See below.
maniacal church
  03/09/05
but you also said you'll have internet access every day or t...
Floppy faggotry
  03/09/05
PWN3D!!
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
Not really. Just because there is one civilized person on x...
maniacal church
  03/09/05
when i started HS i was a pretty big dork, and i got picked ...
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
Actually from his schedule it looks like he's all booked. S...
maniacal church
  03/09/05
David, it's obviously you b/c no one else would be so persis...
Floppy faggotry
  03/09/05
Dude the guy is in cuba on spring break. Give it a rest dic...
maniacal church
  03/09/05
Speaking of that, does he have treasury department clearance...
Umber hyperactive library
  03/09/05
I like you
Floppy faggotry
  03/09/05
I love you.
Hyperventilating rehab
  03/24/05
who puts Mensa membership on a resume?!
jet-lagged senate rigor
  03/09/05
Same guys who list Westlaw certification.
Boyish amber macaca
  03/09/05
Correct.
thriller amethyst native
  03/09/05
He says he was "featured" in Newsday, and then lin...
Supple orchid principal's office halford
  03/09/05
nice, not even a finalist.
swashbuckling self-centered degenerate really tough guy
  03/09/05
and the onion "feature" is a photograph with a bun...
Adventurous deranged liquid oxygen
  03/09/05
Oh my God. I didn't know that there was an actual place call...
Haunting Mint French Chef
  03/09/05
...
Underhanded elastic band
  03/09/05
this is only relevant if something actually pans out....so i...
sepia ticket booth
  03/09/05
i know, i thought it was just an expression until i stood at...
rebellious piazza coffee pot
  03/10/05
http://www.census.gov/cgi-bin/gazetteer?city=hicksville&...
Impertinent parlour digit ratio
  03/11/05
Hicksville is full of smelly Indians. And now the Broadway ...
Mildly Autistic Iridescent Stage
  03/23/05
Check out the links in his recogintion section. Almost all o...
soul-stirring state roommate
  03/09/05
Hey, at least we know he was in the Onion. Only thing more p...
Histrionic sick gunner
  03/09/05
Let's not forget the prestige involved in working for Daddy ...
soul-stirring state roommate
  03/09/05
Hey, this guy may be dorkey but he came by it honestly. Did...
odious idea he suggested
  03/11/05
Not to mention the fact that his appearance in the Onion fea...
galvanic zombie-like theater
  03/09/05
Was this all really true? I feel like it's some bizarre par...
Titillating cobalt jew
  04/05/05
This is why there are so many self hating jews.
Beta Topaz Juggernaut Chapel
  06/18/05
They actually used him for a photo shoot for the Onion when ...
Mahogany Tank
  03/09/05
LOL http://www.deshif.com/onion.htm
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
classic
salmon box office
  03/09/05
Someone should email this to everyone at upenn
Dashing Immigrant
  03/09/05
He's already pretty famous around here.
laughsome mad cow disease
  03/09/05
Do share.
Haunting Mint French Chef
  03/09/05
From what I've witnessed, he's very active and outspoken. Bu...
laughsome mad cow disease
  03/09/05
Don't know him personally, but he caused quite a stir at the...
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
http://www.dailypennsylvanian.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2004/0...
Haunting Mint French Chef
  03/09/05
LOL, good find.
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
I'm *sure* he takes advantage of the massages just because o...
naked theatre
  03/09/05
is that abnormal? Those professor things go for a ton at the...
Cracking knife
  03/09/05
...
talented grizzly corner
  03/09/05
...
coral business firm chad
  03/09/05
In case you ever want to get in touch with him, http://www.d...
Histrionic sick gunner
  03/09/05
someone should IM him.
Supple orchid principal's office halford
  03/09/05
"Facilitated development of interpersonal and social sk...
high-end motley space son of senegal
  03/09/05
With such a schedule, how does he find time to bang all the ...
soul-stirring state roommate
  03/09/05
VIRGIN
Dull Locale
  03/09/05
You HAVE to read the Nikkei link. Who on earth would put a ...
Blue boltzmann depressive
  03/09/05
I wish Milk Chan was here. She could say this much better th...
soul-stirring state roommate
  03/09/05
Oh Christ, I didn't even notice that: A pink slipper Davi...
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
The MSNBC article is also about losing his dot-com job when ...
Haunting Mint French Chef
  03/09/05
Holy Shit. Nice find.
canary lascivious electric furnace school
  01/17/06
With all of these lame hobbies, how does he find time for th...
blathering den indirect expression
  03/09/05
Oh, even the busiest person can find time for that. Um, I'v...
Blue boltzmann depressive
  03/09/05
Leboeuf is a good place to work. Seriously.
sienna yarmulke faggot firefighter
  03/09/05
Ha... I guess that goes to show how much personality matters...
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
I was actually being serious, I thought the people there wer...
sienna yarmulke faggot firefighter
  03/09/05
Really? Very interesting.
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
Like I told you eariler, it's not just about vault rank. ...
sienna yarmulke faggot firefighter
  03/09/05
he's still a douche if he makes 450K. hth
big locus sandwich
  03/09/05
[Oh, fine. Guilt edit.]
Underhanded elastic band
  03/09/05
Did you guys catch this one: Keyboards/cowbell/lute: Capt...
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
i GOTTA have more cowbell!
Ultramarine Wrinkle
  03/09/05
...
coral business firm chad
  03/09/05
He's on the masthead of the Penn Law Review...this is really...
Haunting Mint French Chef
  03/09/05
...
coral business firm chad
  03/09/05
"Cancun Hot Body '03 & '04"" I don't b...
aromatic mischievous national
  03/09/05
see the WHOIS i posted below his website was registered a...
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
Yeah, unless he holds fat *exclusively* in his bean and nowh...
sepia ticket booth
  03/09/05
he wants his loved ones to know what flights he's on in case...
Floppy faggotry
  03/09/05
how did he get direct HAV-MIA flights?
racy community account generalized bond
  01/17/06
I actually know someone a lot like this in real life. These...
Floppy faggotry
  03/09/05
Notice that this guy's resume is so douchey that no one is e...
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
...
coral business firm chad
  03/09/05
Oh, geez. Now I'm ashamed that I have something in common wi...
Sickened metal puppy lettuce
  03/11/05
mental note: don't try to get job with Leboeuf in the fall
Floppy faggotry
  03/09/05
Looks legit to me, here is the WHOIS on his domain: Doma...
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
...
coral business firm chad
  03/09/05
is anyone a Duke alum here? they could write and ask him fo...
Floppy faggotry
  03/09/05
NicoBlue is. They might have been in the same graduating cla...
Fragrant Disrespectful Place Of Business Hunting Ground
  03/09/05
The funniest part is how he lists his upcoming summer associ...
Multi-colored snowy pit mediation
  03/09/05
scratch that - look at his calendar - he has all these chees...
Multi-colored snowy pit mediation
  03/09/05
I think listing the summer associate position is fine -- it'...
Haunting Mint French Chef
  03/09/05
But for something that reeks of prestige, that's not exactly...
buck-toothed antidepressant drug
  03/09/05
I think that someone called "HLSking" probably doe...
Haunting Mint French Chef
  03/09/05
This board is filled with many vicious people. Even "re...
maniacal church
  03/09/05
STFU
Floppy faggotry
  03/09/05
I hope you have a nice life being a dickhead.
maniacal church
  03/09/05
it's been working pretty well for me so far. thanks.
Floppy faggotry
  03/09/05
HAHA, that was fucking beautiful
nubile kink-friendly sound barrier
  01/17/06
I did feel a little bad about it, yeah. Oh well.
Underhanded elastic band
  03/09/05
Same here. Too late. And anyway, posting a web site like tha...
Haunting Mint French Chef
  03/09/05
Correct.
comical coiffed nursing home
  03/09/05
Agreed. Not very nice.
Self-absorbed Sinister Hospital
  03/10/05
...
seedy multi-billionaire
  03/09/05
He might be mildly autistic.
Blue boltzmann depressive
  03/09/05
I don't think autistic people would stalk people though
Floppy faggotry
  03/09/05
This guy is a weirdo but its not his fault. You can't choos...
maniacal church
  03/09/05
Also, he is apparently a massive tool and faggot and all-aro...
Umber hyperactive library
  03/09/05
No doubt he is. But its still incredibly vicious to savage ...
maniacal church
  03/09/05
look out the window, Davey. it's a cruel world.
Floppy faggotry
  03/09/05
I understand it may be difficult for a dickhead like you to ...
maniacal church
  03/09/05
Did you learn that during Westlaw certification?
Umber hyperactive library
  03/09/05
Nah, he learned it at Mensa.
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
absurd defense of a tool - check excessively logical styl...
Useless clear meetinghouse preventive strike
  03/09/05
...
racy community account generalized bond
  01/17/06
also, he defends himself on anonymous internet message board...
Floppy faggotry
  03/09/05
...
coral business firm chad
  03/09/05
"I think this guy is lucky he's a genius..." Wa...
Sickened metal puppy lettuce
  03/11/05
Woah, that was him? The stalking rumor was circulating among...
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
i doubt that there is a lurking xoxo reader that became so d...
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
"he constantly raises his hand and has one of the worst...
thriller amethyst native
  03/09/05
loser
odious idea he suggested
  03/11/05
::passes out in shock::
sadistic dog poop location
  03/11/05
This kid sounds like the equivalent of a 1L at Vanderbilt wh...
rose rambunctious kitchen background story
  03/24/05
Isn't 'Shifren' a Jewish name? Jewish mafia, do something...
Umber hyperactive library
  03/09/05
Forget it, the Nikkei link alone is enough to excommunicate ...
Blue boltzmann depressive
  03/09/05
Uh, check out the Onion link. I think that is him in the sa...
white associate filthpig
  03/09/05
I'm surpised he didn't call it a "model shoot" on ...
Well-lubricated Ratface
  03/09/05
This Deshif guy has proven to me that not only does God have...
Useless clear meetinghouse preventive strike
  03/09/05
What's the only part of his busy schedule he doesn't report ...
glassy heady pozpig double fault
  03/09/05
I knew this guy at Duke - not well, but I took some classes ...
Diverse tanning salon dopamine
  03/09/05
Do you know anything about him stalking girls?
Histrionic sick gunner
  03/09/05
...
talented grizzly corner
  03/09/05
LMAO, that is an awesome story.
thriller amethyst native
  03/09/05
I was there too... Unfortunately, what dickcheese posted was...
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
what was the expression of the profs face?
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
She wasn't there, she just donated the item. Dunno what her ...
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
am i the only one that thinks he'll show up and introduce hi...
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
...
talented grizzly corner
  03/09/05
well played!
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
...
talented grizzly corner
  03/09/05
Edit: I'm starting to feel bad.
Carmine Weed Whacker Abode
  03/09/05
...
Yapping resort codepig
  03/09/05
I think he emceed my Bar Mitzvah.
Blue boltzmann depressive
  03/09/05
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! Unbelievable, simply unbelievable... Fro...
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
what does it take to graduate 'near' the top of your class a...
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
I dunno about that, but it must be pretty damn hard to becom...
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
his son is obviously a better web designer and goes to a muc...
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
Eh, after seeing DeShif.com Penn doesn't feel very prestigio...
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
...
talented grizzly corner
  03/09/05
...
coral business firm chad
  03/09/05
...
Yapping resort codepig
  03/09/05
Link from above: http://members.aol.com/shiflaw/
Histrionic sick gunner
  03/09/05
Damn that's funny. I love the guy's pic on the right. Wh...
concupiscible tripping institution
  03/23/05
...
coral business firm chad
  03/09/05
initially i thought that reading this would do him some good...
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
...
coral business firm chad
  03/09/05
Yeah, there's no way that he can't *not* know what people th...
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
"enlighten on the one hand or emotionally distrubed on ...
odious idea he suggested
  03/11/05
He probably googles himself on a regular basis. If xoxo thr...
high-end motley space son of senegal
  03/10/05
It's not very "Bush team leader" of him to travel ...
bateful plaza
  03/09/05
That website made me feel ashamed to be a Republican.
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/09/05
As if the GOP had oodles of dignity in the first place.
Yapping resort codepig
  03/09/05
172
Histrionic sick gunner
  03/09/05
I feel the same way. I was really hoping he'd be a wacko lib...
Sickened metal puppy lettuce
  03/11/05
$1000 vegas
arousing trailer park
  03/09/05
i dont get it, why would anyone want to read his schedule an...
cordovan orchestra pit reading party
  03/09/05
...
talented grizzly corner
  03/09/05
strict scrutiny: he'safag
overrated market
  03/09/05
...
talented grizzly corner
  03/09/05
ROFL
magical nighttime theater stage old irish cottage
  06/18/05
i know the entire family pretty well, though i'm certainly n...
Wonderful lodge goal in life
  03/09/05
we dont need to take it from you, we've got his life story o...
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
Taking shit from what?
Carmine Weed Whacker Abode
  03/09/05
from peers. likely due to stuttering and social awkwardness...
Wonderful lodge goal in life
  03/09/05
I know a guy who is a severe stutterer and he was well liked...
Haunting Mint French Chef
  03/09/05
Listen, this guy brings shit upon himself by creating a webs...
odious idea he suggested
  03/11/05
...
talented grizzly corner
  03/09/05
surely you jest?
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
...
talented grizzly corner
  03/09/05
Is Burbank around this year? I wouldn't want him to get shot...
Haunting Mint French Chef
  03/09/05
if he really plans to blow away some kids at school im sure ...
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/09/05
hahahahah 1fucking80
overrated market
  03/10/05
A+
Impertinent parlour digit ratio
  03/10/05
This reminds me of the good 'ol days of XOXO.
Exciting dysfunction
  03/09/05
-
buff wild patrolman nowag
  03/09/05
Holy Crap, it's David Shifren!
silver toilet seat
  03/10/05
...
coral business firm chad
  03/10/05
nice!
Stirring lay mother
  03/10/05
I find it strange that this kid's apparently a big ol' feder...
vigorous orange legal warrant
  03/10/05
You are such asses. I met this guy a couple of weeks ago, a...
curious goyim base
  03/10/05
Aren't you supposed to go to YLS?
aromatic mischievous national
  03/10/05
HI DAVID
Charcoal razzle-dazzle messiness
  03/05/06
As soon as he finds out about all of this he's definitely ad...
unhinged persian
  03/10/05
...
coral business firm chad
  03/10/05
Wow. I thought UVA's republican nerdy guy who everbody knows...
harsh dragon cruise ship
  03/10/05
Oh, and whether there was any doubt that this is really him ...
harsh dragon cruise ship
  03/10/05
Whats with the magician pictures?
Multi-colored snowy pit mediation
  03/10/05
What's with the AOL address? At least DeShif got his own dom...
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/10/05
This person is a classic example of why all schools should R...
Dashing Immigrant
  03/10/05
lmao...wow. really. wow. nobody else puts MIDDLE SCHOOL or s...
Beady-eyed flesh wagecucks factory reset button
  03/10/05
I cant believe
crawly indian lodge fat ankles
  03/10/05
You guys, I am a NATIONAL AP SCHOLAR WITH DISTINCTION and I ...
Fuchsia Legend
  03/10/05
How'd that paper go?
Impertinent parlour digit ratio
  03/10/05
I just had to turn in the proposal (four pages plus prelimin...
Fuchsia Legend
  03/11/05
That's an interesting typo. GL.
Impertinent parlour digit ratio
  03/11/05
I will chalk that up to midterms, and also my TTTness.
Fuchsia Legend
  03/11/05
It's cool. Yours was an easy question, really; harder has b...
Impertinent parlour digit ratio
  03/11/05
Their desire to sleep with members of the adcomm. That's ...
Fuchsia Legend
  03/11/05
check out the link to his father's law firm... http://mem...
mind-boggling awkward hall therapy
  03/10/05
Like father, like son...their webdesign skills are AWFUL.
Excitant field potus
  06/18/05
You guys are just jealous... My resume is more prestigous th...
transparent stimulating crackhouse
  03/10/05
yeah...that's it
high-end motley space son of senegal
  03/10/05
thanks man, I spent 10 minutes reading this post in class, t...
aphrodisiac personal credit line private investor
  03/10/05
I'm not going to make fun of this guy because he's just embl...
Bearded candlestick maker
  03/10/05
You think Shitren carries business cards with him?
ruby razzmatazz garrison
  03/10/05
i suspect they would be 'business binders'
Gaped site pisswyrm
  03/10/05
LOL. THIS GUY IS A FAGGOT. I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE CLASSES WI...
marvelous brunch ceo
  03/10/05
i'm surprised to see people bashing LeBoeuf
rebellious piazza coffee pot
  03/10/05
...
talented grizzly corner
  03/10/05
Well, they did hire this douchebag.
mewling hairraiser gas station
  03/10/05
...
talented grizzly corner
  03/10/05
I feel bad for the poor guy. So he is a big nerd and he is a...
passionate chestnut useless brakes
  03/11/05
You're a dolt. By voluntarily making the details of his lif...
Slimy Headpube
  03/11/05
bump
Turquoise Nibblets
  03/23/05
Thanks. I forgot about this.
Big-titted Vivacious House
  03/23/05
I love it - I can't get enough of it
Turquoise Nibblets
  03/23/05
check out his pic w/ Ari Fleischer on his website. Edit...
Domesticated hilarious forum stain
  03/23/05
"Hello 911...There is a douchebag harrasing Judge Jones...
misunderstood property
  03/23/05
Damn, the one on the right of the judge is hot.
electric abnormal corn cake
  03/23/05
Probably spent 2 hours rounding up that many women - only to...
Turquoise Nibblets
  03/23/05
Every time I start feeling bad about this thread I think abo...
Domesticated hilarious forum stain
  03/23/05
LOOK AT THE MANTITTIES ON THAT TOOL!
ivory parlor
  03/23/05
are you sure?
bronze crotch
  03/23/05
The Goat has been violated :(
Judgmental address affirmative action
  03/23/05
...
Violent sanctuary
  03/23/05
wow
appetizing balding set
  03/23/05
Yes I know, In fact it's on my resume.
transparent stimulating crackhouse
  03/23/05
I checked - I don't see it on the main page. Is it in Appen...
Turquoise Nibblets
  03/23/05
LMFAO
Domesticated hilarious forum stain
  03/23/05
Oh man, I think I've passed his father's law practice in Hic...
Mildly Autistic Iridescent Stage
  03/23/05
Nope
hairless ape center
  03/23/05
...
coral business firm chad
  03/24/05
Not personally.
hairless ape center
  03/24/05
Do you know me?
Hyperventilating rehab
  03/24/05
Nope. Should I?
hairless ape center
  03/24/05
Yes.
Hyperventilating rehab
  03/24/05
Or, rather, do I?
hairless ape center
  03/24/05
Computer Science
Trip bipolar friendly grandma
  03/23/05
I'm touched...
hairless ape center
  03/23/05
i like you
brass national security agency temple
  03/23/05
youve got a pair my friend. welcome to the insanity.
shivering public bath dingle berry
  03/24/05
Dear Mr. Shifren, Upon examining your resume, my advisors...
Anal exhilarant stage cuck
  03/24/05
"Please update your resume's "Recognition" se...
bisexual 180 round eye station
  03/24/05
*bows* I have racked up two 180's tonight. This is unprec...
Anal exhilarant stage cuck
  03/24/05
a truly stirring moment of prestigiousness
bright newt hell
  03/24/05
Hey douchebag, I actually found this funny. Well done. Fi...
provocative range ladyboy
  03/24/05
Thanks for the vote of confidence- I just had to work out th...
Anal exhilarant stage cuck
  03/24/05
176
irradiated spot
  03/24/05
You sound pretty nice.
Carmine Weed Whacker Abode
  03/24/05
please grow up
nofapping area
  03/24/05
This douche misspelled "university" on his TTTSHIT...
glittery masturbator shrine
  03/23/05
Doh!
hairless ape center
  03/23/05
be nice, he's a really nice, smart guy. just dorky. he was...
translucent mad-dog skullcap whorehouse
  03/23/05
Did you ever play spit and shove?
garnet point
  03/24/05
holy shit -- you know him?
bright newt hell
  03/24/05
You're all fucked.
razzle casino circlehead
  03/24/05
why are you responding to MY post, dipshit? i never said any...
bright newt hell
  03/24/05
Hey Paul - thanks for the warm wishes. It's good to hear fr...
hairless ape center
  03/24/05
Cardozo crew...OUCH!
glittery masturbator shrine
  03/24/05
?!
hairless ape center
  03/24/05
www.hallmark.com
Hyperventilating rehab
  03/24/05
Hi David.
bisexual 180 round eye station
  03/24/05
what I have learned from this thread
contagious quadroon genital piercing
  03/24/05
why does his phone number have a seattle area code?
Charismatic know-it-all travel guidebook
  03/24/05
Cell phone, I would assume.
Cerebral University Pocket Flask
  04/21/05
probably
vibrant pearly dilemma boiling water
  06/18/05
http://www.deshif.com/pix/B10.jpg Now we all know what he...
Excitant field potus
  06/18/05
http://www.deshif.com/pix/P4130076.JPG bwahahahaha. Funni...
Excitant field potus
  06/18/05
David Shifren
Tan chest-beating doctorate half-breed
  06/20/05
What STD's do you have?
Fear-inspiring stock car office
  06/20/05
Actually, it's very interesting that you ask this question. ...
Tan chest-beating doctorate half-breed
  06/20/05
Shut up.
submissive geriatric stag film kitty
  06/20/05
Eat shit and die.
Slimy Headpube
  06/20/05
Nice username!
Tan chest-beating doctorate half-breed
  06/20/05
LOL BUMP
Aquamarine church building sweet tailpipe
  12/19/05
http://www.deshif.com/pix/PB100049.JPG
Pontificating hominid
  12/19/05
Ride 'em cowboy!
Unholy brethren heaven
  12/19/05
"LEGAL EXPERIENCE LeBoeuf, Lamb, Greene & MacRae...
shitlib
  12/19/05
"Education"
Tantric Skinny Woman Stead
  12/19/05
OH MY FUCKING GOD ALL MIGHTY!!!!! This has to be one of the ...
copper trust fund karate
  12/19/05
rock on dave! Also, did you guys notice he attended the I...
Jet Blood Rage
  12/20/05
Vicious satire is not 'hatred'. Teacher's pets have always b...
Deep Chocolate Giraffe
  12/20/05
I've got one word.....HA
bawdyhouse
  12/20/05
In keeping with Penn's employed at graduation rate, he must ...
Fantasy-prone menage sneaky criminal
  12/20/05
I saw this loser in Cancun
Mauve step-uncle's house
  01/16/06
dp
Ruddy rigpig
  01/17/06
The fact that he went to cancun by himself. And went to a ba...
Ruddy rigpig
  01/17/06
Must have missed...
hairless ape center
  01/17/06
I'd like to stick that pudgy meathole of yours
puce scourge upon the earth
  01/17/06
I admire this motherfucker
violet selfie
  01/17/06
He's got moxie. I'll give him that.
Sexy
  01/18/06
LEBOUEFPWN3DDD!!!!111
Internet-worthy black philosopher-king
  01/17/06
I didn't notice the 40 friends, but I wasn't looking for the...
Mauve step-uncle's house
  01/18/06
you are frighteningly cool
Adventurous deranged liquid oxygen
  01/18/06
thats what I keep hearing.
Mauve step-uncle's house
  01/18/06
Awesome.
  01/18/06
You guys have problems. This guy seems fine. You guys, on th...
very tactful pistol
  01/17/06
whatever, this fat retarded dumbfuck is the kind of fat reta...
nubile kink-friendly sound barrier
  01/17/06
Who are you talking about? That kid is just a law student. W...
very tactful pistol
  01/17/06
he seems like a perfectly decent guy. and GTO -- our "...
Adventurous deranged liquid oxygen
  01/18/06
bump
walnut main people
  03/05/06


Poast new message in this thread





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:18 PM
Author: Boyish amber macaca

Anyone here know this douche?

http://www.deshif.com/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295847)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:20 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

Wow... just wow. All that's missing is an LSAT score.

# Westlaw Certifications: Advanced Case Law, Advanced Statutory Research, Litigation, International Law, Patent, Trademark, Tax.

# LexisNexis Mastery Certifications: Federal Litigation, Federal Tax, Corporate and Securities, International Law, IP, Environmental Law.

Awarded junior class standing upon matriculation based on advanced high school coursework.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295863)





Date: June 18th, 2005 10:35 AM
Author: narrow-minded school cafeteria

Now don't be jealous just because "message board addict" is not elite.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3047039)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:21 PM
Author: mustard home famous landscape painting

he evidently was formally congratulated for 'oustanding academic achievement' by alfonse d'amato.

if that's not prestige, then nothing is.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295868)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:23 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

Hey, don't sell him short! He was also formally congratulated by

* Nassau County Executive Thomas Gulotta.

* Suffolk County Executive Robert Gaffney.

* U.S. Congressman Gary Ackerman.

* New York State Senate President Pro Tem and Majority Leader Ralph Marino.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295887)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:43 PM
Author: Saffron spectacular people who are hurt

That's the most TTT part of that whole travesty of a CV.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296054)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:29 PM
Author: maniacal church

Have you considered that the resume people post on their personal website is different from their "real" resume that they use for employment purposes?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296894)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:30 PM
Author: Floppy faggotry

go away, David

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296912)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:33 PM
Author: maniacal church

Dude the guy is in Cuba right now. See below.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296933)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:34 PM
Author: Floppy faggotry

but you also said you'll have internet access every day or two, David. and I doubt you're rocking out w/ the social events.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296941)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:35 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

PWN3D!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296961)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:36 PM
Author: maniacal church

Not really. Just because there is one civilized person on xoxo who would come to this guy's defense doesn't mean its actually him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296967)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:47 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

when i started HS i was a pretty big dork, and i got picked on big time, and righfully so. it really sucked at the time, but im glad people were 'uncivil' to me, because it was only going to be worse at the next level unless i started becoming a little more self-aware of my social image. good, bad, right, wrong - that is just the way it is. you can stick up for this kid (or defend yourself if you are him), but the fact is, we are doing him (you) a favor.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297073)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:36 PM
Author: maniacal church

Actually from his schedule it looks like he's all booked. Sorry dickhead.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296966)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:39 PM
Author: Floppy faggotry

David, it's obviously you b/c no one else would be so persistent and call us naughty names out of nowhere. and I totally don't even recognize your moniker.

also allow me take this opportunity to tell you that my LS is more prestigious than yours, David.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296990)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:43 PM
Author: maniacal church

Dude the guy is in cuba on spring break. Give it a rest dickhead.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297028)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:44 PM
Author: Umber hyperactive library

Speaking of that, does he have treasury department clearance? We should notify the treasury department just in case.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297039)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:46 PM
Author: Floppy faggotry

I like you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297057)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:12 AM
Author: Hyperventilating rehab

I love you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394226)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:24 PM
Author: jet-lagged senate rigor

who puts Mensa membership on a resume?!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295902)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:26 PM
Author: Boyish amber macaca

Same guys who list Westlaw certification.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295920)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:20 PM
Author: thriller amethyst native

Correct.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297372)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:26 PM
Author: Supple orchid principal's office halford

He says he was "featured" in Newsday, and then links to a blurb listing a bunch of local national merit scholar semi-finalists from 1997. Excellent stuff.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295918)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:30 PM
Author: swashbuckling self-centered degenerate really tough guy

nice, not even a finalist.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295950)





Date: March 9th, 2005 10:52 PM
Author: Adventurous deranged liquid oxygen

and the onion "feature" is a photograph with a bunch of people seemingly chosen because they exude douchebaggery.

every law school has one of these guys. what's most amazing here is that the list of achievements is so long without even one of them being at all impresive. and "westlaw certification" is bizarre. that's like saying you have a driver's license.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298538)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:26 PM
Author: Haunting Mint French Chef

Oh my God. I didn't know that there was an actual place called "Hicksville," but apparently, there is.

My friend's bf is on law review at Penn...I'll have to ask about this dude.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295922)





Date: March 9th, 2005 6:03 PM
Author: Underhanded elastic band



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296222)





Date: March 9th, 2005 6:06 PM
Author: sepia ticket booth

this is only relevant if something actually pans out....so i'll keep my bashing quiet til then.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296271)





Date: March 10th, 2005 7:18 PM
Author: rebellious piazza coffee pot

i know, i thought it was just an expression until i stood at penn station and read the flashing signs for the long island railroad.

apparently hicksville girls wear white jeans and have really big bangs, though

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2303157)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:57 PM
Author: Impertinent parlour digit ratio

http://www.census.gov/cgi-bin/gazetteer?city=hicksville&state=&zip=

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308455)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:22 PM
Author: Mildly Autistic Iridescent Stage

Hicksville is full of smelly Indians. And now the Broadway Mall has a Wal-Mart, too. Truly a TTT town.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391094)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:28 PM
Author: soul-stirring state roommate

Check out the links in his recogintion section. Almost all of them are bad links. That oozes prestige.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295934)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:29 PM
Author: Histrionic sick gunner

Hey, at least we know he was in the Onion. Only thing more prestigious than that is being in Leiter.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295948)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:32 PM
Author: soul-stirring state roommate

Let's not forget the prestige involved in working for Daddy for the last 8 years.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295975)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:36 PM
Author: odious idea he suggested

Hey, this guy may be dorkey but he came by it honestly. Did you see the link to his father's website. Oh, and check out the link to Greater New York Mensa. The pictures of these losers will keep you laughing for a long, long time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308258)





Date: March 9th, 2005 9:20 PM
Author: galvanic zombie-like theater

Not to mention the fact that his appearance in the Onion featured him getting mocked for being a huge goddamn dork. Prestige in spades.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297888)





Date: April 5th, 2005 6:09 PM
Author: Titillating cobalt jew

Was this all really true? I feel like it's some bizarre part of the space-time continuum, but I can't help but laugh as I read the whole thing....

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2492350)





Date: June 18th, 2005 2:13 AM
Author: Beta Topaz Juggernaut Chapel

This is why there are so many self hating jews.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3046335)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:23 PM
Author: Mahogany Tank

They actually used him for a photo shoot for the Onion when they needed a picture of a douche. Superb.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295894)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:25 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

LOL

http://www.deshif.com/onion.htm

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295909)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:30 PM
Author: salmon box office

classic

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295960)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:28 PM
Author: Dashing Immigrant

Someone should email this to everyone at upenn

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295937)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:31 PM
Author: laughsome mad cow disease

He's already pretty famous around here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295962)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:32 PM
Author: Haunting Mint French Chef

Do share.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295982)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:34 PM
Author: laughsome mad cow disease

From what I've witnessed, he's very active and outspoken. But I don't know him personally.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295992)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:37 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

Don't know him personally, but he caused quite a stir at the EJF auction a couple of weeks ago when he bid almost $1000 for picnic with a young/popular professor.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296010)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:40 PM
Author: Haunting Mint French Chef

http://www.dailypennsylvanian.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2004/09/22/4151207d44b7f

Goodness, his grades come up in an article about massages?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296031)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:43 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

LOL, good find.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296049)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:48 PM
Author: naked theatre

I'm *sure* he takes advantage of the massages just because of stress during exams. Probably his only outlet for flesh-on-flesh contact.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296094)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:14 PM
Author: Cracking knife

is that abnormal? Those professor things go for a ton at the CLF auction here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296767)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:17 PM
Author: talented grizzly corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297339)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:42 PM
Author: coral business firm chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297533)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:28 PM
Author: Histrionic sick gunner

In case you ever want to get in touch with him, http://www.deshif.com/Cal0000.htm

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295938)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:31 PM
Author: Supple orchid principal's office halford

someone should IM him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295972)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:32 PM
Author: high-end motley space son of senegal

"Facilitated development of interpersonal and social skills through interaction with elderly psychiatric patients"

OMG. We all puff our resumes a bit, but come on! This shit's embarrassing to read.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295978)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:34 PM
Author: soul-stirring state roommate

With such a schedule, how does he find time to bang all the hot chicks I'm sure are beating down his door?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295990)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:42 PM
Author: Dull Locale

VIRGIN

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296045)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:43 PM
Author: Blue boltzmann depressive

You HAVE to read the Nikkei link. Who on earth would put a story about being fired on their resume?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296051)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:45 PM
Author: soul-stirring state roommate

I wish Milk Chan was here. She could say this much better than I can - "YOU DUMBASS!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296073)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:45 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

Oh Christ, I didn't even notice that:

A pink slipper David Shifren, software engineer, was laid off from a newly built telecommunication company in November just two weeks after he was hired. "I do want to work for a IT-related company again," says Shifren, who talked to four recruiters at the party that night. "But next one must be a place where I can get a decent training."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296076)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:56 PM
Author: Haunting Mint French Chef

The MSNBC article is also about losing his dot-com job when the company was "NASDAQ'd" -- not something I think I'd want to advertise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296161)





Date: January 17th, 2006 4:01 AM
Author: canary lascivious electric furnace school

Holy Shit. Nice find.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4838464)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:45 PM
Author: blathering den indirect expression

With all of these lame hobbies, how does he find time for the most important facet of his existence: furtively masturbating to TeenPeople for hours at a time?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296066)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:53 PM
Author: Blue boltzmann depressive

Oh, even the busiest person can find time for that. Um, I've heard.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296131)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:47 PM
Author: sienna yarmulke faggot firefighter

Leboeuf is a good place to work. Seriously.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296088)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:56 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

Ha... I guess that goes to show how much personality matters, when good grades and law review only gets you LeBoeuf.

However, the fact that even he can make $125k should show how well Penn places ;)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296163)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:59 PM
Author: sienna yarmulke faggot firefighter

I was actually being serious, I thought the people there were better than people I met elsewhere.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296185)





Date: March 9th, 2005 6:01 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

Really? Very interesting.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296199)





Date: March 9th, 2005 6:03 PM
Author: sienna yarmulke faggot firefighter

Like I told you eariler, it's not just about vault rank.

*edit* however since guy is working there, my opinion is going to drop.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296233)





Date: March 9th, 2005 6:04 PM
Author: big locus sandwich

he's still a douche if he makes 450K.

hth

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296237)





Date: March 9th, 2005 6:04 PM
Author: Underhanded elastic band

[Oh, fine. Guilt edit.]

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296235)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:02 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

Did you guys catch this one:

Keyboards/cowbell/lute: Captain Buzzkill & the Bringdowns

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296676)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:03 PM
Author: Ultramarine Wrinkle

i GOTTA have more cowbell!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296685)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:05 PM
Author: coral business firm chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296695)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:06 PM
Author: Haunting Mint French Chef

He's on the masthead of the Penn Law Review...this is really, really elaborate if someone is just making fun of him. That doesn't make sense.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296703)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:07 PM
Author: coral business firm chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296712)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:12 PM
Author: aromatic mischievous national

"Cancun Hot Body '03 & '04""

I don't believe it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296751)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:20 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

see the WHOIS i posted below

his website was registered about 2 years ago, that means someone would have to hack his domain to put that stuff up there and i cant believe anyone would put that much effort into a prank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296826)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:24 PM
Author: sepia ticket booth

Yeah, unless he holds fat *exclusively* in his bean and nowhere else, that's just not happening.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296861)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:15 PM
Author: Floppy faggotry

he wants his loved ones to know what flights he's on in case a plane goes down. covering his bases. how sweet. I'm sure everyone cares.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296779)





Date: January 17th, 2006 11:01 AM
Author: racy community account generalized bond

how did he get direct HAV-MIA flights?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4838942)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:13 PM
Author: Floppy faggotry

I actually know someone a lot like this in real life. These people exist. Every two months I get a listserved email update that's 20 pages long --and I'm pretty sure unless you're Batman or something no one has 20 pages worth in 2 months

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296759)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:06 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

Notice that this guy's resume is so douchey that no one is even talking about how fat and ugly he is.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296701)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:06 PM
Author: coral business firm chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296704)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:47 PM
Author: Sickened metal puppy lettuce

Oh, geez. Now I'm ashamed that I have something in common with him.

It was basically a fricking EMAIL LIST.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308377)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:10 PM
Author: Floppy faggotry

mental note: don't try to get job with Leboeuf in the fall

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296732)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:11 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

Looks legit to me, here is the WHOIS on his domain:

Domain: deshif.com

Registrant

David Shifren

deshif@optonline.net

25 West 13th Street

New York, NY 10011 US

+1.1111111111

Administrative

David Shifren

DEShif

deshif@deshif.com

25 West 13th Street

New York, NY 10011 US

+1.2063500531

+1.2063500531 (FAX)

Billing

David Shifren

DEShif

deshif@deshif.com

25 West 13th Street

New York, NY 10011 US

+1.2063500531

+1.2063500531 (FAX)

Technical

David Shifren

DEShif

deshif@deshif.com

25 West 13th Street

New York, NY 10011 US

+1.2063500531

+1.2063500531 (FAX)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296744)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:12 PM
Author: coral business firm chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296748)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:16 PM
Author: Floppy faggotry

is anyone a Duke alum here? they could write and ask him for advice or something

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296794)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:56 PM
Author: Fragrant Disrespectful Place Of Business Hunting Ground

NicoBlue is. They might have been in the same graduating class.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297655)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:19 PM
Author: Multi-colored snowy pit mediation

The funniest part is how he lists his upcoming summer associate position under his experiences.

After that, its his schedule that takes the cake. This guy is so damn self important that he has to post his class schedule online!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296814)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:20 PM
Author: Multi-colored snowy pit mediation

scratch that - look at his calendar - he has all these cheesy singles or whatever meeting listed as if he has something to do. So sad.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296825)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:22 PM
Author: Haunting Mint French Chef

I think listing the summer associate position is fine -- it's the advice the HLS OCS would give any 2L.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296834)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:26 PM
Author: buck-toothed antidepressant drug

But for something that reeks of prestige, that's not exactly the most prestigous of firms.

And nobody cares what Harvard would do, you cunt.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296877)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:55 PM
Author: Haunting Mint French Chef

I think that someone called "HLSking" probably does care, and that's who I was talking to, genius.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297144)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:27 PM
Author: maniacal church

This board is filled with many vicious people. Even "respected" posters like rk982 and hanna jumped on the bully bandwagon. Pathetic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296882)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:27 PM
Author: Floppy faggotry

STFU

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296884)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:34 PM
Author: maniacal church

I hope you have a nice life being a dickhead.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296949)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:35 PM
Author: Floppy faggotry

it's been working pretty well for me so far. thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296962)





Date: January 17th, 2006 6:19 PM
Author: nubile kink-friendly sound barrier

HAHA, that was fucking beautiful

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4842140)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:42 PM
Author: Underhanded elastic band

I did feel a little bad about it, yeah. Oh well.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297018)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:55 PM
Author: Haunting Mint French Chef

Same here. Too late. And anyway, posting a web site like that is the virtual equivalent of going on reality TV.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297151)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:59 PM
Author: comical coiffed nursing home

Correct.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297707)





Date: March 10th, 2005 10:24 AM
Author: Self-absorbed Sinister Hospital

Agreed. Not very nice.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300443)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:29 PM
Author: seedy multi-billionaire
Subject: THE SCHIFREN STORY



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296903)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:34 PM
Author: Blue boltzmann depressive

He might be mildly autistic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296939)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:35 PM
Author: Floppy faggotry

I don't think autistic people would stalk people though

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296951)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:41 PM
Author: maniacal church

This guy is a weirdo but its not his fault. You can't choose the way you are born or how you talk. If anyone else here was born with all the hurdles that this guy apparantly has, I guarantee they would have rolled over and given up. Personally, I think this guy is lucky he's a genius because god knows he isn't getting by on his looks or by being a smooth talker. If he has to interview aggressively because he is a social weirdo, more power to him for going after what he wants. As for talking in class, tons of people do that, he only gets picked on because he is ugly and has a stutter.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297014)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:43 PM
Author: Umber hyperactive library

Also, he is apparently a massive tool and faggot and all-around loser.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297033)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:45 PM
Author: maniacal church

No doubt he is. But its still incredibly vicious to savage a stranger on an internet board like this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297050)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:49 PM
Author: Floppy faggotry

look out the window, Davey. it's a cruel world.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297087)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:52 PM
Author: maniacal church

I understand it may be difficult for a dickhead like you to understand that nice people exist. I assure you that just because a random poster takes the opposite side from you in an argument doesn't mean that poster must be the subject of the debate.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297113)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:06 PM
Author: Umber hyperactive library

Did you learn that during Westlaw certification?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297259)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:12 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

Nah, he learned it at Mensa.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297309)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:07 PM
Author: Useless clear meetinghouse preventive strike

absurd defense of a tool - check

excessively logical style of argumentation - check

egregious self-promotion ("nice guy") - check

use of the phrase "subject of the debate" - check

Hi David.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297274)





Date: January 17th, 2006 11:07 AM
Author: racy community account generalized bond



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4838964)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:45 PM
Author: Floppy faggotry

also, he defends himself on anonymous internet message boards. and unconvincingly might I add.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297052)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:11 PM
Author: coral business firm chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297302)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:51 PM
Author: Sickened metal puppy lettuce

"I think this guy is lucky he's a genius..."

Wait, back up. How do we know he's a genius? The Mensa membership? National Merit Finalist? The years working for his father? What?

I've seen absolutely no evidence of that?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308401)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:01 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

Woah, that was him? The stalking rumor was circulating among 1Ls early in the term but I didn't know it was about him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297215)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:04 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

i doubt that there is a lurking xoxo reader that became so disgusted that they would come to this guy's defense

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297248)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:37 PM
Author: thriller amethyst native

"he constantly raises his hand and has one of the worst speech impediments ive ever heard. it often takes him minutes to get out a word becuase of his stuttering problem."

Holy shit, I think I sat in on a Con Law class at Penn last year with this dude. It was the day he was called on. I was stunned.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297493)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:53 PM
Author: odious idea he suggested
Subject: loser

This guy is the next David Berkowitz/Son of Sam. Mark my words and watch and see!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308418)





Date: March 11th, 2005 9:34 PM
Author: sadistic dog poop location
Subject: ::passes out in shock::

Oh my god. It's like the three most annoying people I know combined into one.

My sympathies to all at Penn.

At some level I feel bad for the guy, clearly teased a lot early on in life and is compensating a hell of a lot to make up for it. Unfortunately this compensation only leads to more ridiculing for being a total weirdo.

On another level, we've all been made fun of in life. And plenty of people do not turn into completely socially inept people because of it. In fact, sometimes the most well adjusted people I know where teased a lot in grade school. So that's no excuse.

And frankly, on a personal level, I have been the recipient of strange creepy guys hitting on me and it's no fun. So if he's stalking people I have a serious problem with that.

Reasons not to attend Penn...:-p

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2311750)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:46 AM
Author: rose rambunctious kitchen background story

This kid sounds like the equivalent of a 1L at Vanderbilt who is often referred to as "the dragon."

edit: but with more tact.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394021)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:33 PM
Author: Umber hyperactive library

Isn't 'Shifren' a Jewish name?

Jewish mafia, do something about this!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296932)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:29 PM
Author: Blue boltzmann depressive

Forget it, the Nikkei link alone is enough to excommunicate him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297445)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:44 PM
Author: white associate filthpig

Uh, check out the Onion link. I think that is him in the satin shirt. LOL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297046)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:59 PM
Author: Well-lubricated Ratface

I'm surpised he didn't call it a "model shoot" on his CV.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297694)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:06 PM
Author: Useless clear meetinghouse preventive strike

This Deshif guy has proven to me that not only does God have a sense of humor, He's actually a cynical bastard. Keep up the good work, oh Lord of Heaven.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297258)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:19 PM
Author: glassy heady pozpig double fault

What's the only part of his busy schedule he doesn't report here: http://www.deshif.com/Cal0000.htm ??

His weekly NAMBLA meetings. Look at this picture: http://www.deshif.com/david.jpg He'd be perfect in NRA-style "I am NAMBLA" advertisements.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297359)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:24 PM
Author: Diverse tanning salon dopamine

I knew this guy at Duke - not well, but I took some classes with him and majored in a similar, overlapping field.

There are two types of nerds: those who are quiet, nice-guy nerds (with whom I have no problem, and often befriend, even) and those who are aggressive, obnoxious, arrogant nerds (e.g. Bill Gates). This guy is in the second class.

It's kind of TTT to do this to the poor guy, though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297401)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:29 PM
Author: Histrionic sick gunner

Do you know anything about him stalking girls?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297439)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:31 PM
Author: talented grizzly corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297457)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:33 PM
Author: thriller amethyst native

LMAO, that is an awesome story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297469)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:37 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

I was there too... Unfortunately, what dickcheese posted was 100% accurate.

You just had to see it... He literally jumped out of his seat and was standing in front of the auctioneer waving his paddle around and around. It was insane.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297489)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:38 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

what was the expression of the profs face?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297504)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:41 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

She wasn't there, she just donated the item. Dunno what her reaction to this is, but like dickcheese said above, I'd be pretty freaked out. I don't even know if DeShif is going to bring 3 people with him or if he's just going to go alone with her.

The audience was laughing, but it was very uneasy... I mean, it's kind of like how a lot of people reacted to the J cutting herself thing from that xo thread the other day... The whole situation was pretty funny but when you realize that he isn't playing and is 100% serious, it kind of freaks you out after the fact.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297529)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:43 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

am i the only one that thinks he'll show up and introduce his three imaginary best friends

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297542)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:44 PM
Author: talented grizzly corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297557)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:56 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

well played!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297660)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:59 PM
Author: talented grizzly corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297692)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:28 PM
Author: Carmine Weed Whacker Abode

Edit:

I'm starting to feel bad.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297429)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:29 PM
Author: Yapping resort codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297440)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:31 PM
Author: Blue boltzmann depressive

I think he emceed my Bar Mitzvah.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297455)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:32 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!

Unbelievable, simply unbelievable... From the tux, to the U.S. Supreme Court bar, to the AOL URL...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297465)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:41 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

what does it take to graduate 'near' the top of your class at Fordham?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297531)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:45 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

I dunno about that, but it must be pretty damn hard to become an adjunct professor of law at the local community college.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297561)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:48 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

his son is obviously a better web designer and goes to a much more prestigious law school. i wonder what shif sr. must be like in real life.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297587)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:51 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

Eh, after seeing DeShif.com Penn doesn't feel very prestigious anymore :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297610)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:56 PM
Author: talented grizzly corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297654)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:43 PM
Author: coral business firm chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297547)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:53 PM
Author: Yapping resort codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297631)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:58 PM
Author: Histrionic sick gunner

Link from above:

http://members.aol.com/shiflaw/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297688)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:36 PM
Author: concupiscible tripping institution

Damn that's funny.

I love the guy's pic on the right. What a fag.

This confirms it: douchebaggery is genetic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391196)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:44 PM
Author: coral business firm chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297558)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:53 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

initially i thought that reading this would do him some good. (as i posted above, i was a pretty big dork in HS, simply because i was just so unaware of social norms and my social image. getting picked on honestly did wonders for my life since then)

but in my experience there are just some kids that dont get it and dont care. the type of guys that you might invite to sit with you at lunch or invite out for a beer just to make an effort to include them, but they turn out to be even weirder than you expected. the guy obviously enjoys his life and is proud of his accomplishments. i cant imagine him reading this thread and being enlightened on the one hand or emotionally hurt on the other.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297623)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:55 PM
Author: coral business firm chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297647)





Date: March 9th, 2005 10:24 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

Yeah, there's no way that he can't *not* know what people think of him here. He probably doesn't care or loves it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298364)





Date: March 11th, 2005 2:04 PM
Author: odious idea he suggested

"enlighten on the one hand or emotionally distrubed on the other". Are you kidding? This guy is going to update his resume/CV to include this link to show how much people are talking about him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308523)





Date: March 10th, 2005 9:32 AM
Author: high-end motley space son of senegal

He probably googles himself on a regular basis. If xoxo threads turn up in google, he'll find it himself.

I just googled him on my own, and he's listed as the treasurer of the Golden Key at Hunter. 2003.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300319)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:50 PM
Author: bateful plaza

It's not very "Bush team leader" of him to travel to red Cuba and spend his Euros there!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297607)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:53 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

That website made me feel ashamed to be a Republican.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297622)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:57 PM
Author: Yapping resort codepig

As if the GOP had oodles of dignity in the first place.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297666)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:59 PM
Author: Histrionic sick gunner

172

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297706)





Date: March 11th, 2005 2:02 PM
Author: Sickened metal puppy lettuce

I feel the same way. I was really hoping he'd be a wacko liberal.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308498)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:55 PM
Author: arousing trailer park

$1000 vegas

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297648)





Date: March 9th, 2005 9:44 PM
Author: cordovan orchestra pit reading party

i dont get it, why would anyone want to read his schedule and calendar? what is the purpose of having that shit on his website? The resume is one thing, but why do i need to know where he is every second of every single day?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298093)





Date: March 9th, 2005 9:55 PM
Author: talented grizzly corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298193)





Date: March 9th, 2005 10:47 PM
Author: overrated market

strict scrutiny: he'safag

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298507)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:22 PM
Author: talented grizzly corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298729)





Date: June 18th, 2005 10:22 AM
Author: magical nighttime theater stage old irish cottage

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3047023)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:25 PM
Author: Wonderful lodge goal in life

i know the entire family pretty well, though i'm certainly not friends with david.

give him a break. he's been taking shit his whole life.

and don't bring the dad into it. shitty website or not, take it from me, the guy's pretty fucking successful.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298755)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:31 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

we dont need to take it from you, we've got his life story on a website

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298787)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:32 PM
Author: Carmine Weed Whacker Abode

Taking shit from what?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298793)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:35 PM
Author: Wonderful lodge goal in life

from peers. likely due to stuttering and social awkwardness, as well as his looks. he might be annoying as all hell in large groups, but he's a pretty nice guy otherwise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298815)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:45 PM
Author: Haunting Mint French Chef

I know a guy who is a severe stutterer and he was well liked and successful at HYS -- he was on law review and ended up at a top-5 NY firm. Law school may look like high school, but it's not.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298893)





Date: March 11th, 2005 2:14 PM
Author: odious idea he suggested

Listen, this guy brings shit upon himself by creating a website like and by out-biding himself for a picnic. If he get's picked on because of his actions, it's his own fault.

I actually started to feel sorry for this guy until I read his sense of self importance. There are likeable nerds but this guy isn't one of them. So, if he gets picked on... oh well. That said, he'll probably have the last laugh after he explodes and goes postal on all of us.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308609)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:33 PM
Author: talented grizzly corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298802)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:36 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

surely you jest?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298823)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:38 PM
Author: talented grizzly corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298842)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:40 PM
Author: Haunting Mint French Chef

Is Burbank around this year? I wouldn't want him to get shot.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298864)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:41 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

if he really plans to blow away some kids at school im sure he'll update his calendar online before he does it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298872)





Date: March 10th, 2005 1:10 AM
Author: overrated market

hahahahah 1fucking80

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2299424)





Date: March 10th, 2005 12:55 PM
Author: Impertinent parlour digit ratio

A+

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300946)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:45 PM
Author: Exciting dysfunction

This reminds me of the good 'ol days of XOXO.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298899)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:48 PM
Author: buff wild patrolman nowag

-

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298916)





Date: March 10th, 2005 12:52 AM
Author: silver toilet seat
Subject: Holy Crap, it's David Shifren!

I went to college with this guy. He was notorious on campus for being the biggest nerd at the entire school. I can't say I really ever talked to him, but he was a total tool.

1. I know of at least two girls that had to get restraining orders against him because he stalked them. He would wait outside their dorms for them every day, all day. No social graces, couldn't figure out that just because a girl smiled at you in class does not make her your new best friend.

2. I saw him on Halloween one year wearing a cheerleading outfit. Keep in mind, he's at least 70 pounds overweight. And he wasn't the funny fat kid in a group of friends doing it to be funny. It was very creepy.

3. As others have noted, he's the arrogant, aggressive, supernerd. We all hated him.

4. I don't know if he got kicked out of school for stalking, but it certainly wouldn't surprise me. His picture isn't in the class yearbook, and he's not listed in the online alumni directory.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2299290)





Date: March 10th, 2005 1:29 AM
Author: coral business firm chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2299554)





Date: March 10th, 2005 2:12 AM
Author: Stirring lay mother

nice!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2299840)





Date: March 10th, 2005 6:38 AM
Author: vigorous orange legal warrant

I find it strange that this kid's apparently a big ol' federalist but is also in "journal of law and social change" (sounds liberal) and STREET LAW.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300222)





Date: March 10th, 2005 7:13 AM
Author: curious goyim base

You are such asses. I met this guy a couple of weeks ago, and he seems fine in real life. Give him a break.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300239)





Date: March 10th, 2005 10:28 AM
Author: aromatic mischievous national

Aren't you supposed to go to YLS?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300450)





Date: March 5th, 2006 2:36 AM
Author: Charcoal razzle-dazzle messiness

HI DAVID

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#5251259)





Date: March 10th, 2005 7:26 AM
Author: unhinged persian

As soon as he finds out about all of this he's definitely adding "The Most Prestigious Admissions Board in the World" to the "featured in" section of his CV.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300243)





Date: March 10th, 2005 11:36 AM
Author: coral business firm chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300735)





Date: March 10th, 2005 7:33 AM
Author: harsh dragon cruise ship

Wow. I thought UVA's republican nerdy guy who everbody knows who has a website was sort of toolish, but he looks like Miles Davis compared to Mr. Shif.

I don't know why I posted this, as I won't say who the UVA guy is, so don't bother asking.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300245)





Date: March 10th, 2005 7:56 AM
Author: harsh dragon cruise ship

Oh, and whether there was any doubt that this is really him putting up the site, well, I think it runs in the family

http://members.aol.com/shiflaw/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300257)





Date: March 10th, 2005 1:15 PM
Author: Multi-colored snowy pit mediation

Whats with the magician pictures?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2301101)





Date: March 10th, 2005 6:25 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

What's with the AOL address? At least DeShif got his own domain name.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2302842)





Date: March 10th, 2005 8:38 AM
Author: Dashing Immigrant

This person is a classic example of why all schools should REQUIRE interviews before offering admission.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300268)





Date: March 10th, 2005 8:51 AM
Author: Beady-eyed flesh wagecucks factory reset button

lmao...wow. really. wow. nobody else puts MIDDLE SCHOOL or sophomore year of high school "honors" on their stuff, right? and is a link to "Spanish" in "Proficient in Spanish - verbal and written communication" really necessary?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300278)





Date: March 10th, 2005 10:43 AM
Author: crawly indian lodge fat ankles
Subject: I cant believe

Im sorry... I'm really still in disbelief that people like this actually exist. What happens to them? ARe these the kind of people who become famously successful? I have to assume no way... but I actually think his resume is preety fucking prestigious.

Nonetheless, I'm sure he scores in the bottom 10th percentile on all standardized social skill tests. He reminds me of that guy in office space, milton.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300493)





Date: March 10th, 2005 10:56 AM
Author: Fuchsia Legend

You guys, I am a NATIONAL AP SCHOLAR WITH DISTINCTION and I didn't put that anywhere in my applications. Am I screwed?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300549)





Date: March 10th, 2005 12:57 PM
Author: Impertinent parlour digit ratio

How'd that paper go?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300958)





Date: March 11th, 2005 12:35 PM
Author: Fuchsia Legend

I just had to turn in the proposal (four pages plus preliminary bibliography) and he ate it up, gave me an A, and said it is a wonderful and unique topic.

I can only assume that Peen Law Review is in my future, but seriously, thanks. ;)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2307844)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:56 PM
Author: Impertinent parlour digit ratio

That's an interesting typo.

GL.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308444)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:57 PM
Author: Fuchsia Legend

I will chalk that up to midterms, and also my TTTness.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308451)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:58 PM
Author: Impertinent parlour digit ratio

It's cool. Yours was an easy question, really; harder has been answering the "What should I write my college essay about?" questions (I teach high school, if you didn't already know that)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308465)





Date: March 11th, 2005 2:26 PM
Author: Fuchsia Legend

Their desire to sleep with members of the adcomm.

That's what I wrote my law one on. ;)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308720)





Date: March 10th, 2005 11:09 AM
Author: mind-boggling awkward hall therapy

check out the link to his father's law firm...

http://members.aol.com/shiflaw/

who puts a picture of themselves like that up on their professional site.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300609)





Date: June 18th, 2005 2:35 AM
Author: Excitant field potus

Like father, like son...their webdesign skills are AWFUL.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3046420)





Date: March 10th, 2005 12:30 PM
Author: transparent stimulating crackhouse

You guys are just jealous... My resume is more prestigous than yours, my father is more presitgous than yours, and the girl that I stalk and will one day be my girlfriend is more prestigous than your girlfriend.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300788)





Date: March 10th, 2005 12:43 PM
Author: high-end motley space son of senegal

yeah...that's it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300847)





Date: March 10th, 2005 4:01 PM
Author: aphrodisiac personal credit line private investor

thanks man, I spent 10 minutes reading this post in class, then you post this, I lose my shit and starting laughing out loud in Con Law. Luckily, the teacher did not say anything.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2301861)





Date: March 10th, 2005 2:31 PM
Author: Bearded candlestick maker

I'm not going to make fun of this guy because he's just emblematic of the Republican Party (David Shifren = New School Karl Rove) and Long Island as a whole.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2301466)





Date: March 10th, 2005 2:49 PM
Author: ruby razzmatazz garrison

You think Shitren carries business cards with him?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2301563)





Date: March 10th, 2005 6:36 PM
Author: Gaped site pisswyrm

i suspect they would be 'business binders'

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2302913)





Date: March 10th, 2005 7:24 PM
Author: marvelous brunch ceo

LOL. THIS GUY IS A FAGGOT. I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE CLASSES WITH HIM THOUGH. NON STOP COMEDY EVERY DAY. LOL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2303187)





Date: March 10th, 2005 7:32 PM
Author: rebellious piazza coffee pot

i'm surprised to see people bashing LeBoeuf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2303231)





Date: March 10th, 2005 10:33 PM
Author: talented grizzly corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2304313)





Date: March 10th, 2005 10:34 PM
Author: mewling hairraiser gas station

Well, they did hire this douchebag.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2304326)





Date: March 10th, 2005 10:39 PM
Author: talented grizzly corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2304370)





Date: March 11th, 2005 10:42 PM
Author: passionate chestnut useless brakes

I feel bad for the poor guy. So he is a big nerd and he is annoying. I get it.

I would be mortified if I went on the internet and read hundreds of messages making fun of me. No one deserves that sort of public humiliation, no matter how much of a nerd they are. I say it's time to call off the hounds.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2312190)





Date: March 11th, 2005 10:46 PM
Author: Slimy Headpube

You're a dolt. By voluntarily making the details of his life visible to all, he has thoroughly forfeited any entitlement to pity.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2312228)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 3:26 PM
Author: Turquoise Nibblets

bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2388651)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 3:31 PM
Author: Big-titted Vivacious House

Thanks. I forgot about this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2388684)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 3:40 PM
Author: Turquoise Nibblets

I love it - I can't get enough of it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2388752)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 4:25 PM
Author: Domesticated hilarious forum stain

check out his pic w/ Ari Fleischer on his website.

Edit: Is that real silk? http://www.deshif.com/pix/ARI.JPG

(probably right after meeting Ari: riding the goat - http://www.deshif.com/pix/B10.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2389187)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:00 PM
Author: misunderstood property

"Hello 911...There is a douchebag harrasing Judge Jones and some of her interns..."

http://www.deshif.com/pix/BSJ1.JPG

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2389993)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:01 PM
Author: electric abnormal corn cake

Damn, the one on the right of the judge is hot.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390003)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:01 PM
Author: Turquoise Nibblets

Probably spent 2 hours rounding up that many women - only to have his shot ruined by another male in the background.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390007)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:17 PM
Author: Domesticated hilarious forum stain

Every time I start feeling bad about this thread I think about the past two presidential elections. The fact that I feel bad at all is the problem. Democrats need to learn to be heartless a$$holes. Might as well learn by practicing on Republicans. (NOTE: I do like Christine Todd Whitman, but I'm pretty sure she isn't a real Republican).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390098)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:24 PM
Author: ivory parlor

LOOK AT THE MANTITTIES ON THAT TOOL!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391100)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:47 PM
Author: bronze crotch
Subject: are you sure?

Ombudsman,

Please view this picture that he VOLUNTARILY posted on his website: http://www.deshif.com/pix/B10.jpg (and recently mentioned above)...

Do you still contend that "No one deserves that sort of public humiliation, no matter how much of a nerd they are."



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390332)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:48 PM
Author: Judgmental address affirmative action

The Goat has been violated :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390340)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:27 PM
Author: Violent sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391123)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:48 PM
Author: appetizing balding set
Subject: wow

does this poor guy even know he's getting totally owned on xoxo by now? somebody must have told him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390345)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:53 PM
Author: transparent stimulating crackhouse

Yes I know, In fact it's on my resume.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390375)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:55 PM
Author: Turquoise Nibblets

I checked - I don't see it on the main page. Is it in Appendix C?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390389)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 10:18 PM
Author: Domesticated hilarious forum stain

LMFAO

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391927)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:47 PM
Author: Mildly Autistic Iridescent Stage

Oh man, I think I've passed his father's law practice in Hicksville. The one I'm thinking of has its phone number in huge gold numbers on the front of the building, so I'll have to pay more attention the next time I pass it. It's right near where LILCO was, so I think that could be it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391312)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:52 PM
Author: hairless ape center
Subject: Nope

That's Dominic Barbara's practice. My father's practice used to be down the road from there but no longer is.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392841)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:54 AM
Author: coral business firm chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394077)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:57 AM
Author: hairless ape center

Not personally.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394103)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:11 AM
Author: Hyperventilating rehab

Do you know me?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394220)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:14 AM
Author: hairless ape center

Nope. Should I?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394245)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:16 AM
Author: Hyperventilating rehab

Yes.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394273)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:19 AM
Author: hairless ape center

Or, rather, do I?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394301)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:48 PM
Author: Trip bipolar friendly grandma
Subject: Computer Science

When I first saw that photo, I thought to myself "computer science." Then I scrolled down the page and . . .

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391320)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:30 PM
Author: hairless ape center
Subject: I'm touched...

... that everyone seems to find my site so hilarious.

1. Yes, the site is real. I'm real. And I'm really DEShif himself. (To prove it's me, here's the IM I got from Jim Adler: Mr Jim Adler (7:12:27 PM): You seriously have got to be the biggest tool I have ever come across in my life. Your resume is pathetic and the fact that you list the things that you do on your away message is just sad.)

2. Neither "xeris" nor "David Shifren" are me. I just found about this forum (and, indeed, this site) tonight when someone posted to my site's forum.

3. The story about my bidding for $950 for picnic with Struve is true. I did have a group lined up (although not at that price). And it has nothing to do with her looks or gender and everything to do with market competition. You may recall I also bought events with Profs. Roosevelt, Persily, Parchomovsky, and Prichett (all male). The only reason I spent $950 for this one was because a group of 1Ls bid up to $900.

4. The rumors about expulsion from Duke, restraining orders, or any stalking at all are utterly untrue. Ask the admissions office if you don't believe me - they've seen my records.

5. The photo of Judge Jones' chambers really are the clerks and interns. At the time it was taken, I was the only male in the office. And, no, that's not why I took the job!

6. Yes, the hot body championships are true. And, yes, I won them despite (or perhaps due to?) my being fat and ugly.

7. This online resume isn't the same as my actual, paper resume. That one is one page and omits almost all of the minor things which are on the online resume. This one is much more comprehensive and (perhaps exhaustively) detailed.

8. Finally, the purpose behind the event calendar and schedule is twofold: first, for my own convenience - I don't have a PDA and secondly, because my friends (yes, I do have friends!) sometimes use it to see what's going on, what classes I'm taking, or when I'm free.

9. The Cuba trip was legal (and quite fun) - I had Treasury Dept. permission through the law school to conduct academic research.

10. Finally, despite what many on the board have speculated, I am neither gay nor a virgin (although, admittedly, I am single). And, in response to your next question, I've never used a prostitute.

Let me know if you have any other questions. :)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392604)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:32 PM
Author: brass national security agency temple

i like you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392631)





Date: March 24th, 2005 12:17 AM
Author: shivering public bath dingle berry

youve got a pair my friend. welcome to the insanity.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393135)





Date: March 24th, 2005 12:29 AM
Author: Anal exhilarant stage cuck

Dear Mr. Shifren,

Upon examining your resume, my advisors and I have concluded that I am more prestigious than you. While you have achieved some prestigiousness in your day, you simply do not rival the glorious elitism that is 174. HTH.

Please update your resume's "Recognition" section to reflect that I responded to your post, as this surely constitutes prestigious recognition.

Feel free to ask for advice if you ever need help not being a TTT.

Gloriously elite,

174

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393269)





Date: March 24th, 2005 12:45 AM
Author: bisexual 180 round eye station

"Please update your resume's "Recognition" section to reflect that I responded to your post, as this surely constitutes prestigious recognition"

Yes. 180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393429)





Date: March 24th, 2005 12:47 AM
Author: Anal exhilarant stage cuck

*bows*

I have racked up two 180's tonight. This is unprecedented.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393449)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:28 AM
Author: bright newt hell

a truly stirring moment of prestigiousness

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393893)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:43 AM
Author: provocative range ladyboy

Hey douchebag,

I actually found this funny. Well done. Finally youre getting the hang of utilizing your schtick in an effective manner. Keep it up, and Ill refrain from embarassing you.

Hugs and Kisses,

YOUREANIDIOT

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394007)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:36 AM
Author: Anal exhilarant stage cuck

Thanks for the vote of confidence- I just had to work out the kinks.

I sure am glad you're done "embarassing" me!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394464)





Date: March 24th, 2005 11:27 AM
Author: irradiated spot

176

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2395868)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:35 AM
Author: Carmine Weed Whacker Abode

You sound pretty nice.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393946)





Date: March 24th, 2005 5:12 PM
Author: nofapping area
Subject: please grow up

Greetings.

Making fun of others is fine. We all do it.

It is extremely cowardly, however, to do so anonymously, hiding behind the cloak of a website.

Thus, I present a real, working email address:

adamspamguard-autoadmit@yahoo.com

[Of course, this is a temporary address, I can keep it as long (or short) as I want. But for now it goes straight to my inbox]

Anyway. I strongly recommend that many of you think long and hard about your desire and readiness for law school. These types of baseless attacks simply are not welcome within these halls.

If nothing else, please do not come to Penn. You won't fit in and we won't accept these types of attitudes and behaviors.

And in the future, if you have something to say, please at least attach a name and email.

--Adam

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2398319)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:33 PM
Author: glittery masturbator shrine

This douche misspelled "university" on his TTTSHITEATINGFAGGOT resume!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392639)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:47 PM
Author: hairless ape center
Subject: Doh!

Wow, how embarrassing! Thanks for letting me know! I'll fix it right away! (Good thing this isn't the resume I send to employers!)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392798)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:48 PM
Author: translucent mad-dog skullcap whorehouse

be nice, he's a really nice, smart guy. just dorky. he was in my freshman dorm.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392806)





Date: March 24th, 2005 12:12 AM
Author: garnet point

Did you ever play spit and shove?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393083)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:29 AM
Author: bright newt hell

holy shit -- you know him?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393896)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:47 AM
Author: razzle casino circlehead
Subject: You're all fucked.

I know David from another school he went to. Yes, he sat in the front and raised his hand, and yes he would often annoy the teacher, and yes it took him a little while to get his words out and yes he was akward with girls and akward in general.

However, he has a good heart. He is a good guy. He is never mean, always positive and if he comes off arrogant sometimes, well re-read the aforegoing posts and ask yourself why someone who is constantly made fun of might act like that. I wasn't his best friend, or really knew him, but someone told me of this post today and we all talked about why it was sad that there were so many immature children who could not be supportive of those around them who might be challenged in one way or another. Maybe sometimes people paint targets on themselves, but who are we to hurl shit at them.

I wish David the best of luck. I think he should, if he is reading this, understand that people are jealous, in the case of these posts, it pervades their comments, and finally David, all of us at Cardozo think well of you and wish you the best.

Fuck these people and keep growing, you'll learn what you need to, God knows you are smart enough to get there. Be yourself. Find your way. Keep your head up. Most importantly, don't listen to the negativity. Good Luck.

Paul Perkins

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394023)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:47 AM
Author: bright newt hell

why are you responding to MY post, dipshit? i never said anything bad about the guy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394027)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:50 AM
Author: hairless ape center

Hey Paul - thanks for the warm wishes. It's good to hear from you and give my regards to the Cardozo crew! I miss you guys - drop me a line sometime!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394048)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:16 AM
Author: glittery masturbator shrine

Cardozo crew...OUCH!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394276)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:18 AM
Author: hairless ape center

?!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394296)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:18 AM
Author: Hyperventilating rehab

www.hallmark.com

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394299)





Date: March 24th, 2005 11:20 AM
Author: bisexual 180 round eye station

Hi David.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2395818)





Date: March 24th, 2005 6:00 PM
Author: contagious quadroon genital piercing
Subject: what I have learned from this thread

1. the future of the justice system will be in the hands of many childish, hateful misfits who have nothing better to do than attempt to destroy the self-esteem of an accomplished human being.

2. Posting enormous amounts of personal information online is an invariable risk and makes you vulnerable to such scrutiny.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2398608)





Date: March 24th, 2005 6:57 PM
Author: Charismatic know-it-all travel guidebook

why does his phone number have a seattle area code?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2398956)





Date: April 21st, 2005 7:05 PM
Author: Cerebral University Pocket Flask

Cell phone, I would assume.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2607210)





Date: June 18th, 2005 2:08 AM
Author: vibrant pearly dilemma boiling water

probably

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3046322)





Date: June 18th, 2005 2:22 AM
Author: Excitant field potus

http://www.deshif.com/pix/B10.jpg

Now we all know what he does on his off time...

edit: http://www.deshif.com/pix/PB100049.JPG this too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3046364)





Date: June 18th, 2005 2:30 AM
Author: Excitant field potus

http://www.deshif.com/pix/P4130076.JPG

bwahahahaha. Funniest pic yet.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3046404)





Date: June 20th, 2005 4:08 PM
Author: Tan chest-beating doctorate half-breed
Subject: David Shifren

Hi, my name is Carol, and I've been friends with Dave since high school. Rather, he has been a good friend to me for almost the last 10 years, despite my immaturity throughout most of the time period. For a very long time, I was an utter douchebag who thought that popularity mattered and Dave was strange, so I wasn't a very good friend to him. (Dave, please consider this my official apology.)

Dave has stuck by me through thick and thin all of these years. He has been a thoughtful, kind, and generous friend and a great listener. He is an intelligent, patient person who gives without expecting anything in return from others. Whenever someone pokes fun at him, he takes it in stride and is never mean to the offending party. The rest of us can learn a lot from him.

More about me: Right now I'm in business school in the DC area. Usually I'm pretty normal and boring (http://photos1.blogger.com/img/63/3838/1024/IMG_1058.jpg ) but sometimes I can be silly and cool like Dave (http://photos1.blogger.com/img/63/3838/1024/IMG_0018.jpg ).

If any of you douchebags out there want to sling insults at me for defending my friend, feel free. Your puerile stupidity amuses me.

Carol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3065652)





Date: June 20th, 2005 4:09 PM
Author: Fear-inspiring stock car office

What STD's do you have?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3065665)





Date: June 20th, 2005 4:12 PM
Author: Tan chest-beating doctorate half-breed

Actually, it's very interesting that you ask this question. As a precaution, I get tested at least once every year. I just got my results back today and I've tested negative for all of the diseases. Unless you're counting intelligence as an STD. :)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3065697)





Date: June 20th, 2005 6:17 PM
Author: submissive geriatric stag film kitty

Shut up.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3066750)





Date: June 20th, 2005 4:10 PM
Author: Slimy Headpube

Eat shit and die.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3065674)





Date: June 20th, 2005 4:14 PM
Author: Tan chest-beating doctorate half-breed

Nice username!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3065705)





Date: December 19th, 2005 3:26 AM
Author: Aquamarine church building sweet tailpipe

LOL BUMP

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4605993)





Date: December 19th, 2005 3:29 AM
Author: Pontificating hominid

http://www.deshif.com/pix/PB100049.JPG

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4606008)





Date: December 19th, 2005 3:36 AM
Author: Unholy brethren heaven

Ride 'em cowboy!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4606038)





Date: December 19th, 2005 4:46 AM
Author:  shitlib

"LEGAL EXPERIENCE

LeBoeuf, Lamb, Greene & MacRae LLP, New York, New York - Summer Associate, Summer 2005."

pwn3d

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4606364)





Date: December 19th, 2005 9:11 PM
Author: Tantric Skinny Woman Stead
Subject: "Education"

Duke University

nuff said.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4612748)





Date: December 19th, 2005 10:11 PM
Author: copper trust fund karate

OH MY FUCKING GOD ALL MIGHTY!!!!! This has to be one of the best threads EVER! Still, after Davids response....he seems like a perfectly well adjusted, kind, if awkward feller. I for one support him despite his extreme lack of social skills. If you will allow me:

Life is tough, as tough can be

But David you can count on thee

to pull yourself from deep dispair

and rise above, and make it there

Your talents wide, and varied are

with a little hope, youll be a star

just make sure to love yourself

and lose some weight, if for your health

your wit is keen, and lsat high

your memory strong, you are not shy

your breast is large, to hold your heart

which beats in rhythm, it does its part

and despite what these losers say

nay never forget that though you may

display the douchbaggery most high and hard

you can allways play the lexis card



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4613300)





Date: December 20th, 2005 12:56 AM
Author: Jet Blood Rage

rock on dave!

Also, did you guys notice he attended the Institute for Justice law student conference?

He's a libertarian to boot. I don't care what his persona is (which doesn't seem all that bad). If he uses his intellectual talents and ambitions to further the cause of liberty MORE POWER TO HIM.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4615203)





Date: December 20th, 2005 3:06 AM
Author: Deep Chocolate Giraffe

Vicious satire is not 'hatred'. Teacher's pets have always been ridiculed, so no sympathy should be expected. . .

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4616610)





Date: December 20th, 2005 2:15 PM
Author:  bawdyhouse

I've got one word.....HA

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4619455)





Date: December 20th, 2005 2:37 PM
Author: Fantasy-prone menage sneaky criminal

In keeping with Penn's employed at graduation rate, he must be working at like 3 firms simultaneously by now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4619677)





Date: January 16th, 2006 5:07 PM
Author: Mauve step-uncle's house
Subject: I saw this loser in Cancun

Over Christmas break I saw this loser dancing his fat ass off in a cancun nightclub (by himself of course). I even asked him was he a Penn law student to be sure, he asked "what have I done?" I said I was a 3L and recognized him. Meanwhile I had to come up with a lie so explain to my friends why I was talking to this loser.

I'll say this, the boy ain't shy...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4833722)





Date: January 17th, 2006 4:24 AM
Author: Ruddy rigpig

dp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4838492)





Date: January 17th, 2006 4:24 AM
Author: Ruddy rigpig

The fact that he went to cancun by himself. And went to a bar by himself. And was dancing by himself makes 'shif very, very, prestigious.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4838493)





Date: January 17th, 2006 1:08 PM
Author: hairless ape center
Subject: Must have missed...

You must have missed the fact that I was there with, oh, 40 or so friends. (I've been going to Cancun for 20 years, so I know a lot of people down there.) Nice try, though. And, if I recall correctly, I rebuffed your advance. I didn't mean to be hurtful, I just don't swing that way.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4839613)





Date: January 17th, 2006 1:38 PM
Author: puce scourge upon the earth

I'd like to stick that pudgy meathole of yours

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4839810)





Date: January 17th, 2006 1:40 PM
Author:  violet selfie

I admire this motherfucker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4839818)





Date: January 18th, 2006 10:56 AM
Author: Sexy

He's got moxie. I'll give him that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4847351)





Date: January 17th, 2006 3:53 PM
Author: Internet-worthy black philosopher-king

LEBOUEFPWN3DDD!!!!111

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4840902)





Date: January 18th, 2006 10:44 AM
Author: Mauve step-uncle's house

I didn't notice the 40 friends, but I wasn't looking for them either.

I felt like I was in the presence of a celebrity. Lowly ole me watching DeShif groove on the corner of the stage. I thought DeShif only existed in my dreams. I was starstruck watching you move those meaty hips to the beat of the music. If only I had internet access that night my friends and I could have celebrated our chance encounter with xoxo royalty. Instead all I heard was "What the fuck are you doing talking to that guy." I even was going to take a photo of you with a couple of the girls we were with, but they were worried about you dripping sweat on them.

I do have a healthy measure of respect for DeShif, any dude willing to get up on the DJ stage and dance by himself is cool by me. You, Mr. DeShif, have enough balls for 8 normal men. I salute you.

By the way, there were a ton of young hotties there that night, I trust you did not go home alone.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4847309)





Date: January 18th, 2006 11:50 AM
Author: Adventurous deranged liquid oxygen

you are frighteningly cool

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4847625)





Date: January 18th, 2006 12:11 PM
Author: Mauve step-uncle's house

thats what I keep hearing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4847775)





Date: January 18th, 2006 11:47 AM
Author: 

Awesome.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4847612)





Date: January 17th, 2006 4:09 PM
Author: very tactful pistol

You guys have problems. This guy seems fine. You guys, on the other hand, look pathetic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4840997)





Date: January 17th, 2006 6:49 PM
Author: nubile kink-friendly sound barrier

whatever, this fat retarded dumbfuck is the kind of fat retarded dumbfuck that gives lawyers, republicans, Americans and white males a bad name.

Shockingly, this idiot hasn't even been compared to who he is most like. Even though, as I recall, there is a photo with him with the dude.

Karl Rove was close, but Rove at least is an architect, a strategic thinker that can assess avenues and devise tactics to negotiate them toward success.

This fat dumbass is more like Ken Starr than anyone else. His claim to fame: examining Bill Clintons spooge marks. This heeb is well on his way.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4842429)





Date: January 17th, 2006 7:06 PM
Author: very tactful pistol

Who are you talking about? That kid is just a law student. Where are you getting all this shit?

You have problems.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4842563)





Date: January 18th, 2006 10:54 AM
Author: Adventurous deranged liquid oxygen

he seems like a perfectly decent guy. and GTO -- our "director of educational services" -- ridiculing someone for credential puffery is ridiculously ironic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4847345)





Date: March 5th, 2006 2:32 AM
Author:  walnut main people

bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#5251207)