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Hilarious Penn Law student website/resume - Let's bash this TTT

Anyone here know this douche? http://www.deshif.com/
bipolar dopamine
  03/09/05
Wow... just wow. All that's missing is an LSAT score. # W...
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
Now don't be jealous just because "message board addict...
Comical useless brakes property
  06/18/05
he evidently was formally congratulated for 'oustanding acad...
Dashing Cruel-hearted Church Building Sandwich
  03/09/05
Hey, don't sell him short! He was also formally congratulate...
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
That's the most TTT part of that whole travesty of a CV.
diverse theater
  03/09/05
Have you considered that the resume people post on their per...
mustard dog poop national
  03/09/05
go away, David
Supple mood
  03/09/05
Dude the guy is in Cuba right now. See below.
mustard dog poop national
  03/09/05
but you also said you'll have internet access every day or t...
Supple mood
  03/09/05
PWN3D!!
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
Not really. Just because there is one civilized person on x...
mustard dog poop national
  03/09/05
when i started HS i was a pretty big dork, and i got picked ...
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
Actually from his schedule it looks like he's all booked. S...
mustard dog poop national
  03/09/05
David, it's obviously you b/c no one else would be so persis...
Supple mood
  03/09/05
Dude the guy is in cuba on spring break. Give it a rest dic...
mustard dog poop national
  03/09/05
Speaking of that, does he have treasury department clearance...
pearly bearded mad cow disease theater stage
  03/09/05
I like you
Supple mood
  03/09/05
I love you.
Startling piazza
  03/24/05
who puts Mensa membership on a resume?!
Wonderful Mischievous School Cafeteria Kitty
  03/09/05
Same guys who list Westlaw certification.
bipolar dopamine
  03/09/05
Correct.
green kitchen
  03/09/05
He says he was "featured" in Newsday, and then lin...
Vermilion Territorial Hospital Newt
  03/09/05
nice, not even a finalist.
contagious bawdyhouse reading party
  03/09/05
and the onion "feature" is a photograph with a bun...
glittery black dilemma
  03/09/05
Oh my God. I didn't know that there was an actual place call...
Spectacular liquid oxygen
  03/09/05
...
jade sexy station legend
  03/09/05
this is only relevant if something actually pans out....so i...
jet-lagged doctorate market
  03/09/05
i know, i thought it was just an expression until i stood at...
Swashbuckling Business Firm
  03/10/05
http://www.census.gov/cgi-bin/gazetteer?city=hicksville&...
high-end selfie
  03/11/05
Hicksville is full of smelly Indians. And now the Broadway ...
fuchsia idiotic trump supporter site
  03/23/05
Check out the links in his recogintion section. Almost all o...
amber ladyboy senate
  03/09/05
Hey, at least we know he was in the Onion. Only thing more p...
ocher racy meetinghouse mexican
  03/09/05
Let's not forget the prestige involved in working for Daddy ...
amber ladyboy senate
  03/09/05
Hey, this guy may be dorkey but he came by it honestly. Did...
copper chapel
  03/11/05
Not to mention the fact that his appearance in the Onion fea...
irradiated twisted sweet tailpipe fanboi
  03/09/05
Was this all really true? I feel like it's some bizarre par...
heady sapphire parlour gay wizard
  04/05/05
This is why there are so many self hating jews.
180 effete lodge
  06/18/05
They actually used him for a photo shoot for the Onion when ...
iridescent becky gas station
  03/09/05
LOL http://www.deshif.com/onion.htm
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
classic
brilliant love of her life
  03/09/05
Someone should email this to everyone at upenn
awkward cheese-eating messiness cuckold
  03/09/05
He's already pretty famous around here.
startled indirect expression
  03/09/05
Do share.
Spectacular liquid oxygen
  03/09/05
From what I've witnessed, he's very active and outspoken. Bu...
startled indirect expression
  03/09/05
Don't know him personally, but he caused quite a stir at the...
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
http://www.dailypennsylvanian.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2004/0...
Spectacular liquid oxygen
  03/09/05
LOL, good find.
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
I'm *sure* he takes advantage of the massages just because o...
Titillating Massive Indian Lodge People Who Are Hurt
  03/09/05
is that abnormal? Those professor things go for a ton at the...
Sooty out-of-control generalized bond
  03/09/05
...
Curious Ungodly Temple
  03/09/05
...
Azure motley codepig resort
  03/09/05
In case you ever want to get in touch with him, http://www.d...
ocher racy meetinghouse mexican
  03/09/05
someone should IM him.
Vermilion Territorial Hospital Newt
  03/09/05
"Facilitated development of interpersonal and social sk...
violet base
  03/09/05
With such a schedule, how does he find time to bang all the ...
amber ladyboy senate
  03/09/05
VIRGIN
magical nubile goyim
  03/09/05
You HAVE to read the Nikkei link. Who on earth would put a ...
Bateful glassy hall
  03/09/05
I wish Milk Chan was here. She could say this much better th...
amber ladyboy senate
  03/09/05
Oh Christ, I didn't even notice that: A pink slipper Davi...
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
The MSNBC article is also about losing his dot-com job when ...
Spectacular liquid oxygen
  03/09/05
Holy Shit. Nice find.
Topaz rehab queen of the night
  01/17/06
With all of these lame hobbies, how does he find time for th...
odious preventive strike boiling water
  03/09/05
Oh, even the busiest person can find time for that. Um, I'v...
Bateful glassy hall
  03/09/05
Leboeuf is a good place to work. Seriously.
chest-beating crimson twinkling uncleanness nursing home
  03/09/05
Ha... I guess that goes to show how much personality matters...
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
I was actually being serious, I thought the people there wer...
chest-beating crimson twinkling uncleanness nursing home
  03/09/05
Really? Very interesting.
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
Like I told you eariler, it's not just about vault rank. ...
chest-beating crimson twinkling uncleanness nursing home
  03/09/05
he's still a douche if he makes 450K. hth
opaque ceo fortuitous meteor
  03/09/05
[Oh, fine. Guilt edit.]
jade sexy station legend
  03/09/05
Did you guys catch this one: Keyboards/cowbell/lute: Capt...
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
i GOTTA have more cowbell!
dun lay
  03/09/05
...
Azure motley codepig resort
  03/09/05
He's on the masthead of the Penn Law Review...this is really...
Spectacular liquid oxygen
  03/09/05
...
Azure motley codepig resort
  03/09/05
"Cancun Hot Body '03 & '04"" I don't b...
Bossy costumed cuckoldry
  03/09/05
see the WHOIS i posted below his website was registered a...
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
Yeah, unless he holds fat *exclusively* in his bean and nowh...
jet-lagged doctorate market
  03/09/05
he wants his loved ones to know what flights he's on in case...
Supple mood
  03/09/05
how did he get direct HAV-MIA flights?
fragrant gay corner
  01/17/06
I actually know someone a lot like this in real life. These...
Supple mood
  03/09/05
Notice that this guy's resume is so douchey that no one is e...
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
...
Azure motley codepig resort
  03/09/05
Oh, geez. Now I'm ashamed that I have something in common wi...
appetizing hell
  03/11/05
mental note: don't try to get job with Leboeuf in the fall
Supple mood
  03/09/05
Looks legit to me, here is the WHOIS on his domain: Doma...
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
...
Azure motley codepig resort
  03/09/05
is anyone a Duke alum here? they could write and ask him fo...
Supple mood
  03/09/05
NicoBlue is. They might have been in the same graduating cla...
embarrassed to the bone yarmulke
  03/09/05
The funniest part is how he lists his upcoming summer associ...
Lavender trip cumskin garrison
  03/09/05
scratch that - look at his calendar - he has all these chees...
Lavender trip cumskin garrison
  03/09/05
I think listing the summer associate position is fine -- it'...
Spectacular liquid oxygen
  03/09/05
But for something that reeks of prestige, that's not exactly...
Flatulent exhilarant tank coffee pot
  03/09/05
I think that someone called "HLSking" probably doe...
Spectacular liquid oxygen
  03/09/05
This board is filled with many vicious people. Even "re...
mustard dog poop national
  03/09/05
STFU
Supple mood
  03/09/05
I hope you have a nice life being a dickhead.
mustard dog poop national
  03/09/05
it's been working pretty well for me so far. thanks.
Supple mood
  03/09/05
HAHA, that was fucking beautiful
Vibrant navy athletic conference
  01/17/06
I did feel a little bad about it, yeah. Oh well.
jade sexy station legend
  03/09/05
Same here. Too late. And anyway, posting a web site like tha...
Spectacular liquid oxygen
  03/09/05
Correct.
Beady-eyed disturbing faggotry
  03/09/05
Agreed. Not very nice.
irate stirring office background story
  03/10/05
...
drunken state mother
  03/09/05
He might be mildly autistic.
Bateful glassy hall
  03/09/05
I don't think autistic people would stalk people though
Supple mood
  03/09/05
This guy is a weirdo but its not his fault. You can't choos...
mustard dog poop national
  03/09/05
Also, he is apparently a massive tool and faggot and all-aro...
pearly bearded mad cow disease theater stage
  03/09/05
No doubt he is. But its still incredibly vicious to savage ...
mustard dog poop national
  03/09/05
look out the window, Davey. it's a cruel world.
Supple mood
  03/09/05
I understand it may be difficult for a dickhead like you to ...
mustard dog poop national
  03/09/05
Did you learn that during Westlaw certification?
pearly bearded mad cow disease theater stage
  03/09/05
Nah, he learned it at Mensa.
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
absurd defense of a tool - check excessively logical styl...
mahogany theatre
  03/09/05
...
fragrant gay corner
  01/17/06
also, he defends himself on anonymous internet message board...
Supple mood
  03/09/05
...
Azure motley codepig resort
  03/09/05
"I think this guy is lucky he's a genius..." Wa...
appetizing hell
  03/11/05
Woah, that was him? The stalking rumor was circulating among...
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
i doubt that there is a lurking xoxo reader that became so d...
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
"he constantly raises his hand and has one of the worst...
green kitchen
  03/09/05
loser
copper chapel
  03/11/05
::passes out in shock::
Flickering Stimulating Dysfunction Parlor
  03/11/05
This kid sounds like the equivalent of a 1L at Vanderbilt wh...
Zippy spot
  03/24/05
Isn't 'Shifren' a Jewish name? Jewish mafia, do something...
pearly bearded mad cow disease theater stage
  03/09/05
Forget it, the Nikkei link alone is enough to excommunicate ...
Bateful glassy hall
  03/09/05
Uh, check out the Onion link. I think that is him in the sa...
Indecent Address Hominid
  03/09/05
I'm surpised he didn't call it a "model shoot" on ...
Hot Range Place Of Business
  03/09/05
This Deshif guy has proven to me that not only does God have...
mahogany theatre
  03/09/05
What's the only part of his busy schedule he doesn't report ...
Fantasy-prone native new version
  03/09/05
I knew this guy at Duke - not well, but I took some classes ...
Dead sable orchestra pit round eye
  03/09/05
Do you know anything about him stalking girls?
ocher racy meetinghouse mexican
  03/09/05
...
Curious Ungodly Temple
  03/09/05
LMAO, that is an awesome story.
green kitchen
  03/09/05
I was there too... Unfortunately, what dickcheese posted was...
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
what was the expression of the profs face?
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
She wasn't there, she just donated the item. Dunno what her ...
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
am i the only one that thinks he'll show up and introduce hi...
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
...
Curious Ungodly Temple
  03/09/05
well played!
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
...
Curious Ungodly Temple
  03/09/05
Edit: I'm starting to feel bad.
bisexual shimmering point
  03/09/05
...
Lemon library
  03/09/05
I think he emceed my Bar Mitzvah.
Bateful glassy hall
  03/09/05
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! Unbelievable, simply unbelievable... Fro...
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
what does it take to graduate 'near' the top of your class a...
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
I dunno about that, but it must be pretty damn hard to becom...
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
his son is obviously a better web designer and goes to a muc...
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
Eh, after seeing DeShif.com Penn doesn't feel very prestigio...
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
...
Curious Ungodly Temple
  03/09/05
...
Azure motley codepig resort
  03/09/05
...
Lemon library
  03/09/05
Link from above: http://members.aol.com/shiflaw/
ocher racy meetinghouse mexican
  03/09/05
Damn that's funny. I love the guy's pic on the right. Wh...
rebellious tantric pocket flask scourge upon the earth
  03/23/05
...
Azure motley codepig resort
  03/09/05
initially i thought that reading this would do him some good...
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
...
Azure motley codepig resort
  03/09/05
Yeah, there's no way that he can't *not* know what people th...
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
"enlighten on the one hand or emotionally distrubed on ...
copper chapel
  03/11/05
He probably googles himself on a regular basis. If xoxo thr...
violet base
  03/10/05
It's not very "Bush team leader" of him to travel ...
razzmatazz den
  03/09/05
That website made me feel ashamed to be a Republican.
white mental disorder
  03/09/05
As if the GOP had oodles of dignity in the first place.
Lemon library
  03/09/05
172
ocher racy meetinghouse mexican
  03/09/05
I feel the same way. I was really hoping he'd be a wacko lib...
appetizing hell
  03/11/05
$1000 vegas
godawful lascivious locale main people
  03/09/05
i dont get it, why would anyone want to read his schedule an...
boyish center headpube
  03/09/05
...
Curious Ungodly Temple
  03/09/05
strict scrutiny: he'safag
Maroon Cerebral Plaza Travel Guidebook
  03/09/05
...
Curious Ungodly Temple
  03/09/05
ROFL
Wine painfully honest turdskin whorehouse
  06/18/05
i know the entire family pretty well, though i'm certainly n...
exciting principal's office jewess
  03/09/05
we dont need to take it from you, we've got his life story o...
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
Taking shit from what?
bisexual shimmering point
  03/09/05
from peers. likely due to stuttering and social awkwardness...
exciting principal's office jewess
  03/09/05
I know a guy who is a severe stutterer and he was well liked...
Spectacular liquid oxygen
  03/09/05
Listen, this guy brings shit upon himself by creating a webs...
copper chapel
  03/11/05
...
Curious Ungodly Temple
  03/09/05
surely you jest?
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
...
Curious Ungodly Temple
  03/09/05
Is Burbank around this year? I wouldn't want him to get shot...
Spectacular liquid oxygen
  03/09/05
if he really plans to blow away some kids at school im sure ...
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/09/05
hahahahah 1fucking80
Maroon Cerebral Plaza Travel Guidebook
  03/10/05
A+
high-end selfie
  03/10/05
This reminds me of the good 'ol days of XOXO.
Well-lubricated party of the first part partner
  03/09/05
-
Nighttime carnelian cuck
  03/09/05
Holy Crap, it's David Shifren!
Multi-colored french chef box office
  03/10/05
...
Azure motley codepig resort
  03/10/05
nice!
Histrionic stage
  03/10/05
I find it strange that this kid's apparently a big ol' feder...
big-titted frum church roommate
  03/10/05
You are such asses. I met this guy a couple of weeks ago, a...
Aphrodisiac abnormal location
  03/10/05
Aren't you supposed to go to YLS?
Bossy costumed cuckoldry
  03/10/05
HI DAVID
Cracking stag film sneaky criminal
  03/05/06
As soon as he finds out about all of this he's definitely ad...
Fluffy excitant sanctuary
  03/10/05
...
Azure motley codepig resort
  03/10/05
Wow. I thought UVA's republican nerdy guy who everbody knows...
big rusted casino hunting ground
  03/10/05
Oh, and whether there was any doubt that this is really him ...
big rusted casino hunting ground
  03/10/05
Whats with the magician pictures?
Lavender trip cumskin garrison
  03/10/05
What's with the AOL address? At least DeShif got his own dom...
white mental disorder
  03/10/05
This person is a classic example of why all schools should R...
awkward cheese-eating messiness cuckold
  03/10/05
lmao...wow. really. wow. nobody else puts MIDDLE SCHOOL or s...
Confused galvanic ticket booth
  03/10/05
I cant believe
Salmon know-it-all gunner old irish cottage
  03/10/05
You guys, I am a NATIONAL AP SCHOLAR WITH DISTINCTION and I ...
duck-like tanning salon sound barrier
  03/10/05
How'd that paper go?
high-end selfie
  03/10/05
I just had to turn in the proposal (four pages plus prelimin...
duck-like tanning salon sound barrier
  03/11/05
That's an interesting typo. GL.
high-end selfie
  03/11/05
I will chalk that up to midterms, and also my TTTness.
duck-like tanning salon sound barrier
  03/11/05
It's cool. Yours was an easy question, really; harder has b...
high-end selfie
  03/11/05
Their desire to sleep with members of the adcomm. That's ...
duck-like tanning salon sound barrier
  03/11/05
check out the link to his father's law firm... http://mem...
charismatic voyeur legal warrant
  03/10/05
Like father, like son...their webdesign skills are AWFUL.
laughsome incel
  06/18/05
You guys are just jealous... My resume is more prestigous th...
zombie-like public bath famous landscape painting
  03/10/05
yeah...that's it
violet base
  03/10/05
thanks man, I spent 10 minutes reading this post in class, t...
Crawly mind-boggling institution community account
  03/10/05
I'm not going to make fun of this guy because he's just embl...
Thriller regret university
  03/10/05
You think Shitren carries business cards with him?
smoky set
  03/10/05
i suspect they would be 'business binders'
Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef
  03/10/05
LOL. THIS GUY IS A FAGGOT. I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE CLASSES WI...
Transparent submissive cruise ship
  03/10/05
i'm surprised to see people bashing LeBoeuf
Swashbuckling Business Firm
  03/10/05
...
Curious Ungodly Temple
  03/10/05
Well, they did hire this douchebag.
Talking Dragon
  03/10/05
...
Curious Ungodly Temple
  03/10/05
I feel bad for the poor guy. So he is a big nerd and he is a...
Slate Hideous Shrine
  03/11/05
You're a dolt. By voluntarily making the details of his lif...
Brindle hyperventilating abode
  03/11/05
bump
Hilarious multi-billionaire
  03/23/05
Thanks. I forgot about this.
cowardly home
  03/23/05
I love it - I can't get enough of it
Hilarious multi-billionaire
  03/23/05
check out his pic w/ Ari Fleischer on his website. Edit...
hairraiser heaven degenerate
  03/23/05
"Hello 911...There is a douchebag harrasing Judge Jones...
Sienna organic girlfriend
  03/23/05
Damn, the one on the right of the judge is hot.
bearded karate field
  03/23/05
Probably spent 2 hours rounding up that many women - only to...
Hilarious multi-billionaire
  03/23/05
Every time I start feeling bad about this thread I think abo...
hairraiser heaven degenerate
  03/23/05
LOOK AT THE MANTITTIES ON THAT TOOL!
lime stage sex offender
  03/23/05
are you sure?
Disrespectful aquamarine step-uncle's house volcanic crater
  03/23/05
The Goat has been violated :(
white mental disorder
  03/23/05
...
shivering electric marketing idea
  03/23/05
wow
Slimy Chocolate Area Dingle Berry
  03/23/05
Yes I know, In fact it's on my resume.
zombie-like public bath famous landscape painting
  03/23/05
I checked - I don't see it on the main page. Is it in Appen...
Hilarious multi-billionaire
  03/23/05
LMFAO
hairraiser heaven degenerate
  03/23/05
Oh man, I think I've passed his father's law practice in Hic...
fuchsia idiotic trump supporter site
  03/23/05
Nope
federal khaki bbw
  03/23/05
...
Azure motley codepig resort
  03/24/05
Not personally.
federal khaki bbw
  03/24/05
Do you know me?
Startling piazza
  03/24/05
Nope. Should I?
federal khaki bbw
  03/24/05
Yes.
Startling piazza
  03/24/05
Or, rather, do I?
federal khaki bbw
  03/24/05
Computer Science
bull headed pearl foreskin gaping
  03/23/05
I'm touched...
federal khaki bbw
  03/23/05
i like you
Floppy son of senegal
  03/23/05
youve got a pair my friend. welcome to the insanity.
Aromatic blue trailer park
  03/24/05
Dear Mr. Shifren, Upon examining your resume, my advisors...
Soul-stirring at-the-ready menage
  03/24/05
"Please update your resume's "Recognition" se...
provocative drab mediation friendly grandma
  03/24/05
*bows* I have racked up two 180's tonight. This is unprec...
Soul-stirring at-the-ready menage
  03/24/05
a truly stirring moment of prestigiousness
frisky stead pozpig
  03/24/05
Hey douchebag, I actually found this funny. Well done. Fi...
Elite idea he suggested brunch
  03/24/05
Thanks for the vote of confidence- I just had to work out th...
Soul-stirring at-the-ready menage
  03/24/05
176
Dull locus
  03/24/05
You sound pretty nice.
bisexual shimmering point
  03/24/05
please grow up
Alcoholic antidepressant drug
  03/24/05
This douche misspelled "university" on his TTTSHIT...
seedy buck-toothed telephone striped hyena
  03/23/05
Doh!
federal khaki bbw
  03/23/05
be nice, he's a really nice, smart guy. just dorky. he was...
Razzle School
  03/23/05
Did you ever play spit and shove?
Adventurous forum
  03/24/05
holy shit -- you know him?
frisky stead pozpig
  03/24/05
You're all fucked.
Charcoal passionate house
  03/24/05
why are you responding to MY post, dipshit? i never said any...
frisky stead pozpig
  03/24/05
Hey Paul - thanks for the warm wishes. It's good to hear fr...
federal khaki bbw
  03/24/05
Cardozo crew...OUCH!
seedy buck-toothed telephone striped hyena
  03/24/05
?!
federal khaki bbw
  03/24/05
www.hallmark.com
Startling piazza
  03/24/05
Hi David.
provocative drab mediation friendly grandma
  03/24/05
what I have learned from this thread
Concupiscible crackhouse
  03/24/05
why does his phone number have a seattle area code?
arousing low-t gaming laptop trust fund
  03/24/05
Cell phone, I would assume.
razzle-dazzle giraffe
  04/21/05
probably
Vivacious Cream Ape
  06/18/05
http://www.deshif.com/pix/B10.jpg Now we all know what he...
laughsome incel
  06/18/05
http://www.deshif.com/pix/P4130076.JPG bwahahahaha. Funni...
laughsome incel
  06/18/05
David Shifren
Amethyst Unhinged Space
  06/20/05
What STD's do you have?
Maize marvelous feces
  06/20/05
Actually, it's very interesting that you ask this question. ...
Amethyst Unhinged Space
  06/20/05
Shut up.
Cocky overrated
  06/20/05
Eat shit and die.
Brindle hyperventilating abode
  06/20/05
Nice username!
Amethyst Unhinged Space
  06/20/05
LOL BUMP
flirting crotch therapy
  12/19/05
http://www.deshif.com/pix/PB100049.JPG
mewling half-breed
  12/19/05
Ride 'em cowboy!
talented idiot
  12/19/05
"LEGAL EXPERIENCE LeBoeuf, Lamb, Greene & MacRae...
house-broken sinister private investor
  12/19/05
"Education"
Violent
  12/19/05
OH MY FUCKING GOD ALL MIGHTY!!!!! This has to be one of the ...
Umber tattoo
  12/19/05
rock on dave! Also, did you guys notice he attended the I...
Insanely creepy azn puppy
  12/20/05
Vicious satire is not 'hatred'. Teacher's pets have always b...
Burgundy demanding patrolman
  12/20/05
I've got one word.....HA
geriatric prole
  12/20/05
In keeping with Penn's employed at graduation rate, he must ...
Fiercely-loyal avocado alpha
  12/20/05
I saw this loser in Cancun
kink-friendly national security agency
  01/16/06
dp
Medicated immigrant
  01/17/06
The fact that he went to cancun by himself. And went to a ba...
Medicated immigrant
  01/17/06
Must have missed...
federal khaki bbw
  01/17/06
I'd like to stick that pudgy meathole of yours
Obsidian
  01/17/06
I admire this motherfucker
Aggressive clown
  01/17/06
He's got moxie. I'll give him that.
Hateful boistinker
  01/18/06
LEBOUEFPWN3DDD!!!!111
bat-shit-crazy
  01/17/06
I didn't notice the 40 friends, but I wasn't looking for the...
kink-friendly national security agency
  01/18/06
you are frighteningly cool
glittery black dilemma
  01/18/06
thats what I keep hearing.
kink-friendly national security agency
  01/18/06
Awesome.
gaped deranged ratface
  01/18/06
You guys have problems. This guy seems fine. You guys, on th...
outnumbered
  01/17/06
whatever, this fat retarded dumbfuck is the kind of fat reta...
Vibrant navy athletic conference
  01/17/06
Who are you talking about? That kid is just a law student. W...
outnumbered
  01/17/06
he seems like a perfectly decent guy. and GTO -- our "...
glittery black dilemma
  01/18/06
bump
bright toaster
  03/05/06





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:18 PM
Author: bipolar dopamine

Anyone here know this douche?

http://www.deshif.com/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295847)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:20 PM
Author: white mental disorder

Wow... just wow. All that's missing is an LSAT score.

# Westlaw Certifications: Advanced Case Law, Advanced Statutory Research, Litigation, International Law, Patent, Trademark, Tax.

# LexisNexis Mastery Certifications: Federal Litigation, Federal Tax, Corporate and Securities, International Law, IP, Environmental Law.

Awarded junior class standing upon matriculation based on advanced high school coursework.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295863)





Date: June 18th, 2005 10:35 AM
Author: Comical useless brakes property

Now don't be jealous just because "message board addict" is not elite.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3047039)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:21 PM
Author: Dashing Cruel-hearted Church Building Sandwich

he evidently was formally congratulated for 'oustanding academic achievement' by alfonse d'amato.

if that's not prestige, then nothing is.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295868)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:23 PM
Author: white mental disorder

Hey, don't sell him short! He was also formally congratulated by

* Nassau County Executive Thomas Gulotta.

* Suffolk County Executive Robert Gaffney.

* U.S. Congressman Gary Ackerman.

* New York State Senate President Pro Tem and Majority Leader Ralph Marino.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295887)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:43 PM
Author: diverse theater

That's the most TTT part of that whole travesty of a CV.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296054)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:29 PM
Author: mustard dog poop national

Have you considered that the resume people post on their personal website is different from their "real" resume that they use for employment purposes?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296894)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:30 PM
Author: Supple mood

go away, David

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296912)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:33 PM
Author: mustard dog poop national

Dude the guy is in Cuba right now. See below.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296933)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:34 PM
Author: Supple mood

but you also said you'll have internet access every day or two, David. and I doubt you're rocking out w/ the social events.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296941)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:35 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

PWN3D!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296961)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:36 PM
Author: mustard dog poop national

Not really. Just because there is one civilized person on xoxo who would come to this guy's defense doesn't mean its actually him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296967)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:47 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

when i started HS i was a pretty big dork, and i got picked on big time, and righfully so. it really sucked at the time, but im glad people were 'uncivil' to me, because it was only going to be worse at the next level unless i started becoming a little more self-aware of my social image. good, bad, right, wrong - that is just the way it is. you can stick up for this kid (or defend yourself if you are him), but the fact is, we are doing him (you) a favor.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297073)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:36 PM
Author: mustard dog poop national

Actually from his schedule it looks like he's all booked. Sorry dickhead.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296966)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:39 PM
Author: Supple mood

David, it's obviously you b/c no one else would be so persistent and call us naughty names out of nowhere. and I totally don't even recognize your moniker.

also allow me take this opportunity to tell you that my LS is more prestigious than yours, David.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296990)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:43 PM
Author: mustard dog poop national

Dude the guy is in cuba on spring break. Give it a rest dickhead.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297028)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:44 PM
Author: pearly bearded mad cow disease theater stage

Speaking of that, does he have treasury department clearance? We should notify the treasury department just in case.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297039)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:46 PM
Author: Supple mood

I like you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297057)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:12 AM
Author: Startling piazza

I love you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394226)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:24 PM
Author: Wonderful Mischievous School Cafeteria Kitty

who puts Mensa membership on a resume?!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295902)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:26 PM
Author: bipolar dopamine

Same guys who list Westlaw certification.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295920)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:20 PM
Author: green kitchen

Correct.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297372)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:26 PM
Author: Vermilion Territorial Hospital Newt

He says he was "featured" in Newsday, and then links to a blurb listing a bunch of local national merit scholar semi-finalists from 1997. Excellent stuff.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295918)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:30 PM
Author: contagious bawdyhouse reading party

nice, not even a finalist.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295950)





Date: March 9th, 2005 10:52 PM
Author: glittery black dilemma

and the onion "feature" is a photograph with a bunch of people seemingly chosen because they exude douchebaggery.

every law school has one of these guys. what's most amazing here is that the list of achievements is so long without even one of them being at all impresive. and "westlaw certification" is bizarre. that's like saying you have a driver's license.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298538)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:26 PM
Author: Spectacular liquid oxygen

Oh my God. I didn't know that there was an actual place called "Hicksville," but apparently, there is.

My friend's bf is on law review at Penn...I'll have to ask about this dude.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295922)





Date: March 9th, 2005 6:03 PM
Author: jade sexy station legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296222)





Date: March 9th, 2005 6:06 PM
Author: jet-lagged doctorate market

this is only relevant if something actually pans out....so i'll keep my bashing quiet til then.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296271)





Date: March 10th, 2005 7:18 PM
Author: Swashbuckling Business Firm

i know, i thought it was just an expression until i stood at penn station and read the flashing signs for the long island railroad.

apparently hicksville girls wear white jeans and have really big bangs, though

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2303157)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:57 PM
Author: high-end selfie

http://www.census.gov/cgi-bin/gazetteer?city=hicksville&state=&zip=

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308455)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:22 PM
Author: fuchsia idiotic trump supporter site

Hicksville is full of smelly Indians. And now the Broadway Mall has a Wal-Mart, too. Truly a TTT town.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391094)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:28 PM
Author: amber ladyboy senate

Check out the links in his recogintion section. Almost all of them are bad links. That oozes prestige.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295934)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:29 PM
Author: ocher racy meetinghouse mexican

Hey, at least we know he was in the Onion. Only thing more prestigious than that is being in Leiter.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295948)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:32 PM
Author: amber ladyboy senate

Let's not forget the prestige involved in working for Daddy for the last 8 years.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295975)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:36 PM
Author: copper chapel

Hey, this guy may be dorkey but he came by it honestly. Did you see the link to his father's website. Oh, and check out the link to Greater New York Mensa. The pictures of these losers will keep you laughing for a long, long time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308258)





Date: March 9th, 2005 9:20 PM
Author: irradiated twisted sweet tailpipe fanboi

Not to mention the fact that his appearance in the Onion featured him getting mocked for being a huge goddamn dork. Prestige in spades.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297888)





Date: April 5th, 2005 6:09 PM
Author: heady sapphire parlour gay wizard

Was this all really true? I feel like it's some bizarre part of the space-time continuum, but I can't help but laugh as I read the whole thing....

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2492350)





Date: June 18th, 2005 2:13 AM
Author: 180 effete lodge

This is why there are so many self hating jews.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3046335)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:23 PM
Author: iridescent becky gas station

They actually used him for a photo shoot for the Onion when they needed a picture of a douche. Superb.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295894)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:25 PM
Author: white mental disorder

LOL

http://www.deshif.com/onion.htm

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295909)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:30 PM
Author: brilliant love of her life

classic

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295960)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:28 PM
Author: awkward cheese-eating messiness cuckold

Someone should email this to everyone at upenn

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295937)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:31 PM
Author: startled indirect expression

He's already pretty famous around here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295962)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:32 PM
Author: Spectacular liquid oxygen

Do share.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295982)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:34 PM
Author: startled indirect expression

From what I've witnessed, he's very active and outspoken. But I don't know him personally.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295992)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:37 PM
Author: white mental disorder

Don't know him personally, but he caused quite a stir at the EJF auction a couple of weeks ago when he bid almost $1000 for picnic with a young/popular professor.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296010)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:40 PM
Author: Spectacular liquid oxygen

http://www.dailypennsylvanian.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2004/09/22/4151207d44b7f

Goodness, his grades come up in an article about massages?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296031)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:43 PM
Author: white mental disorder

LOL, good find.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296049)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:48 PM
Author: Titillating Massive Indian Lodge People Who Are Hurt

I'm *sure* he takes advantage of the massages just because of stress during exams. Probably his only outlet for flesh-on-flesh contact.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296094)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:14 PM
Author: Sooty out-of-control generalized bond

is that abnormal? Those professor things go for a ton at the CLF auction here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296767)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:17 PM
Author: Curious Ungodly Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297339)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:42 PM
Author: Azure motley codepig resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297533)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:28 PM
Author: ocher racy meetinghouse mexican

In case you ever want to get in touch with him, http://www.deshif.com/Cal0000.htm

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295938)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:31 PM
Author: Vermilion Territorial Hospital Newt

someone should IM him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295972)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:32 PM
Author: violet base

"Facilitated development of interpersonal and social skills through interaction with elderly psychiatric patients"

OMG. We all puff our resumes a bit, but come on! This shit's embarrassing to read.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295978)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:34 PM
Author: amber ladyboy senate

With such a schedule, how does he find time to bang all the hot chicks I'm sure are beating down his door?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295990)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:42 PM
Author: magical nubile goyim

VIRGIN

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296045)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:43 PM
Author: Bateful glassy hall

You HAVE to read the Nikkei link. Who on earth would put a story about being fired on their resume?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296051)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:45 PM
Author: amber ladyboy senate

I wish Milk Chan was here. She could say this much better than I can - "YOU DUMBASS!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296073)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:45 PM
Author: white mental disorder

Oh Christ, I didn't even notice that:

A pink slipper David Shifren, software engineer, was laid off from a newly built telecommunication company in November just two weeks after he was hired. "I do want to work for a IT-related company again," says Shifren, who talked to four recruiters at the party that night. "But next one must be a place where I can get a decent training."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296076)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:56 PM
Author: Spectacular liquid oxygen

The MSNBC article is also about losing his dot-com job when the company was "NASDAQ'd" -- not something I think I'd want to advertise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296161)





Date: January 17th, 2006 4:01 AM
Author: Topaz rehab queen of the night

Holy Shit. Nice find.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4838464)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:45 PM
Author: odious preventive strike boiling water

With all of these lame hobbies, how does he find time for the most important facet of his existence: furtively masturbating to TeenPeople for hours at a time?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296066)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:53 PM
Author: Bateful glassy hall

Oh, even the busiest person can find time for that. Um, I've heard.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296131)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:47 PM
Author: chest-beating crimson twinkling uncleanness nursing home

Leboeuf is a good place to work. Seriously.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296088)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:56 PM
Author: white mental disorder

Ha... I guess that goes to show how much personality matters, when good grades and law review only gets you LeBoeuf.

However, the fact that even he can make $125k should show how well Penn places ;)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296163)





Date: March 9th, 2005 5:59 PM
Author: chest-beating crimson twinkling uncleanness nursing home

I was actually being serious, I thought the people there were better than people I met elsewhere.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296185)





Date: March 9th, 2005 6:01 PM
Author: white mental disorder

Really? Very interesting.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296199)





Date: March 9th, 2005 6:03 PM
Author: chest-beating crimson twinkling uncleanness nursing home

Like I told you eariler, it's not just about vault rank.

*edit* however since guy is working there, my opinion is going to drop.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296233)





Date: March 9th, 2005 6:04 PM
Author: opaque ceo fortuitous meteor

he's still a douche if he makes 450K.

hth

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296237)





Date: March 9th, 2005 6:04 PM
Author: jade sexy station legend

[Oh, fine. Guilt edit.]

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296235)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:02 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

Did you guys catch this one:

Keyboards/cowbell/lute: Captain Buzzkill & the Bringdowns

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296676)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:03 PM
Author: dun lay

i GOTTA have more cowbell!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296685)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:05 PM
Author: Azure motley codepig resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296695)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:06 PM
Author: Spectacular liquid oxygen

He's on the masthead of the Penn Law Review...this is really, really elaborate if someone is just making fun of him. That doesn't make sense.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296703)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:07 PM
Author: Azure motley codepig resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296712)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:12 PM
Author: Bossy costumed cuckoldry

"Cancun Hot Body '03 & '04""

I don't believe it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296751)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:20 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

see the WHOIS i posted below

his website was registered about 2 years ago, that means someone would have to hack his domain to put that stuff up there and i cant believe anyone would put that much effort into a prank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296826)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:24 PM
Author: jet-lagged doctorate market

Yeah, unless he holds fat *exclusively* in his bean and nowhere else, that's just not happening.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296861)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:15 PM
Author: Supple mood

he wants his loved ones to know what flights he's on in case a plane goes down. covering his bases. how sweet. I'm sure everyone cares.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296779)





Date: January 17th, 2006 11:01 AM
Author: fragrant gay corner

how did he get direct HAV-MIA flights?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4838942)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:13 PM
Author: Supple mood

I actually know someone a lot like this in real life. These people exist. Every two months I get a listserved email update that's 20 pages long --and I'm pretty sure unless you're Batman or something no one has 20 pages worth in 2 months

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296759)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:06 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

Notice that this guy's resume is so douchey that no one is even talking about how fat and ugly he is.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296701)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:06 PM
Author: Azure motley codepig resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296704)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:47 PM
Author: appetizing hell

Oh, geez. Now I'm ashamed that I have something in common with him.

It was basically a fricking EMAIL LIST.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308377)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:10 PM
Author: Supple mood

mental note: don't try to get job with Leboeuf in the fall

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296732)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:11 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

Looks legit to me, here is the WHOIS on his domain:

Domain: deshif.com

Registrant

David Shifren

deshif@optonline.net

25 West 13th Street

New York, NY 10011 US

+1.1111111111

Administrative

David Shifren

DEShif

deshif@deshif.com

25 West 13th Street

New York, NY 10011 US

+1.2063500531

+1.2063500531 (FAX)

Billing

David Shifren

DEShif

deshif@deshif.com

25 West 13th Street

New York, NY 10011 US

+1.2063500531

+1.2063500531 (FAX)

Technical

David Shifren

DEShif

deshif@deshif.com

25 West 13th Street

New York, NY 10011 US

+1.2063500531

+1.2063500531 (FAX)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296744)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:12 PM
Author: Azure motley codepig resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296748)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:16 PM
Author: Supple mood

is anyone a Duke alum here? they could write and ask him for advice or something

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296794)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:56 PM
Author: embarrassed to the bone yarmulke

NicoBlue is. They might have been in the same graduating class.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297655)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:19 PM
Author: Lavender trip cumskin garrison

The funniest part is how he lists his upcoming summer associate position under his experiences.

After that, its his schedule that takes the cake. This guy is so damn self important that he has to post his class schedule online!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296814)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:20 PM
Author: Lavender trip cumskin garrison

scratch that - look at his calendar - he has all these cheesy singles or whatever meeting listed as if he has something to do. So sad.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296825)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:22 PM
Author: Spectacular liquid oxygen

I think listing the summer associate position is fine -- it's the advice the HLS OCS would give any 2L.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296834)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:26 PM
Author: Flatulent exhilarant tank coffee pot

But for something that reeks of prestige, that's not exactly the most prestigous of firms.

And nobody cares what Harvard would do, you cunt.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296877)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:55 PM
Author: Spectacular liquid oxygen

I think that someone called "HLSking" probably does care, and that's who I was talking to, genius.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297144)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:27 PM
Author: mustard dog poop national

This board is filled with many vicious people. Even "respected" posters like rk982 and hanna jumped on the bully bandwagon. Pathetic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296882)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:27 PM
Author: Supple mood

STFU

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296884)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:34 PM
Author: mustard dog poop national

I hope you have a nice life being a dickhead.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296949)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:35 PM
Author: Supple mood

it's been working pretty well for me so far. thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296962)





Date: January 17th, 2006 6:19 PM
Author: Vibrant navy athletic conference

HAHA, that was fucking beautiful

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4842140)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:42 PM
Author: jade sexy station legend

I did feel a little bad about it, yeah. Oh well.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297018)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:55 PM
Author: Spectacular liquid oxygen

Same here. Too late. And anyway, posting a web site like that is the virtual equivalent of going on reality TV.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297151)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:59 PM
Author: Beady-eyed disturbing faggotry

Correct.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297707)





Date: March 10th, 2005 10:24 AM
Author: irate stirring office background story

Agreed. Not very nice.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300443)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:29 PM
Author: drunken state mother
Subject: THE SCHIFREN STORY



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296903)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:34 PM
Author: Bateful glassy hall

He might be mildly autistic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296939)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:35 PM
Author: Supple mood

I don't think autistic people would stalk people though

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296951)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:41 PM
Author: mustard dog poop national

This guy is a weirdo but its not his fault. You can't choose the way you are born or how you talk. If anyone else here was born with all the hurdles that this guy apparantly has, I guarantee they would have rolled over and given up. Personally, I think this guy is lucky he's a genius because god knows he isn't getting by on his looks or by being a smooth talker. If he has to interview aggressively because he is a social weirdo, more power to him for going after what he wants. As for talking in class, tons of people do that, he only gets picked on because he is ugly and has a stutter.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297014)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:43 PM
Author: pearly bearded mad cow disease theater stage

Also, he is apparently a massive tool and faggot and all-around loser.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297033)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:45 PM
Author: mustard dog poop national

No doubt he is. But its still incredibly vicious to savage a stranger on an internet board like this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297050)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:49 PM
Author: Supple mood

look out the window, Davey. it's a cruel world.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297087)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:52 PM
Author: mustard dog poop national

I understand it may be difficult for a dickhead like you to understand that nice people exist. I assure you that just because a random poster takes the opposite side from you in an argument doesn't mean that poster must be the subject of the debate.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297113)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:06 PM
Author: pearly bearded mad cow disease theater stage

Did you learn that during Westlaw certification?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297259)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:12 PM
Author: white mental disorder

Nah, he learned it at Mensa.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297309)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:07 PM
Author: mahogany theatre

absurd defense of a tool - check

excessively logical style of argumentation - check

egregious self-promotion ("nice guy") - check

use of the phrase "subject of the debate" - check

Hi David.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297274)





Date: January 17th, 2006 11:07 AM
Author: fragrant gay corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4838964)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:45 PM
Author: Supple mood

also, he defends himself on anonymous internet message boards. and unconvincingly might I add.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297052)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:11 PM
Author: Azure motley codepig resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297302)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:51 PM
Author: appetizing hell

"I think this guy is lucky he's a genius..."

Wait, back up. How do we know he's a genius? The Mensa membership? National Merit Finalist? The years working for his father? What?

I've seen absolutely no evidence of that?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308401)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:01 PM
Author: white mental disorder

Woah, that was him? The stalking rumor was circulating among 1Ls early in the term but I didn't know it was about him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297215)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:04 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

i doubt that there is a lurking xoxo reader that became so disgusted that they would come to this guy's defense

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297248)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:37 PM
Author: green kitchen

"he constantly raises his hand and has one of the worst speech impediments ive ever heard. it often takes him minutes to get out a word becuase of his stuttering problem."

Holy shit, I think I sat in on a Con Law class at Penn last year with this dude. It was the day he was called on. I was stunned.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297493)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:53 PM
Author: copper chapel
Subject: loser

This guy is the next David Berkowitz/Son of Sam. Mark my words and watch and see!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308418)





Date: March 11th, 2005 9:34 PM
Author: Flickering Stimulating Dysfunction Parlor
Subject: ::passes out in shock::

Oh my god. It's like the three most annoying people I know combined into one.

My sympathies to all at Penn.

At some level I feel bad for the guy, clearly teased a lot early on in life and is compensating a hell of a lot to make up for it. Unfortunately this compensation only leads to more ridiculing for being a total weirdo.

On another level, we've all been made fun of in life. And plenty of people do not turn into completely socially inept people because of it. In fact, sometimes the most well adjusted people I know where teased a lot in grade school. So that's no excuse.

And frankly, on a personal level, I have been the recipient of strange creepy guys hitting on me and it's no fun. So if he's stalking people I have a serious problem with that.

Reasons not to attend Penn...:-p

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2311750)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:46 AM
Author: Zippy spot

This kid sounds like the equivalent of a 1L at Vanderbilt who is often referred to as "the dragon."

edit: but with more tact.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394021)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:33 PM
Author: pearly bearded mad cow disease theater stage

Isn't 'Shifren' a Jewish name?

Jewish mafia, do something about this!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296932)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:29 PM
Author: Bateful glassy hall

Forget it, the Nikkei link alone is enough to excommunicate him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297445)





Date: March 9th, 2005 7:44 PM
Author: Indecent Address Hominid

Uh, check out the Onion link. I think that is him in the satin shirt. LOL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297046)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:59 PM
Author: Hot Range Place Of Business

I'm surpised he didn't call it a "model shoot" on his CV.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297694)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:06 PM
Author: mahogany theatre

This Deshif guy has proven to me that not only does God have a sense of humor, He's actually a cynical bastard. Keep up the good work, oh Lord of Heaven.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297258)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:19 PM
Author: Fantasy-prone native new version

What's the only part of his busy schedule he doesn't report here: http://www.deshif.com/Cal0000.htm ??

His weekly NAMBLA meetings. Look at this picture: http://www.deshif.com/david.jpg He'd be perfect in NRA-style "I am NAMBLA" advertisements.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297359)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:24 PM
Author: Dead sable orchestra pit round eye

I knew this guy at Duke - not well, but I took some classes with him and majored in a similar, overlapping field.

There are two types of nerds: those who are quiet, nice-guy nerds (with whom I have no problem, and often befriend, even) and those who are aggressive, obnoxious, arrogant nerds (e.g. Bill Gates). This guy is in the second class.

It's kind of TTT to do this to the poor guy, though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297401)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:29 PM
Author: ocher racy meetinghouse mexican

Do you know anything about him stalking girls?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297439)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:31 PM
Author: Curious Ungodly Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297457)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:33 PM
Author: green kitchen

LMAO, that is an awesome story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297469)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:37 PM
Author: white mental disorder

I was there too... Unfortunately, what dickcheese posted was 100% accurate.

You just had to see it... He literally jumped out of his seat and was standing in front of the auctioneer waving his paddle around and around. It was insane.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297489)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:38 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

what was the expression of the profs face?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297504)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:41 PM
Author: white mental disorder

She wasn't there, she just donated the item. Dunno what her reaction to this is, but like dickcheese said above, I'd be pretty freaked out. I don't even know if DeShif is going to bring 3 people with him or if he's just going to go alone with her.

The audience was laughing, but it was very uneasy... I mean, it's kind of like how a lot of people reacted to the J cutting herself thing from that xo thread the other day... The whole situation was pretty funny but when you realize that he isn't playing and is 100% serious, it kind of freaks you out after the fact.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297529)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:43 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

am i the only one that thinks he'll show up and introduce his three imaginary best friends

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297542)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:44 PM
Author: Curious Ungodly Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297557)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:56 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

well played!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297660)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:59 PM
Author: Curious Ungodly Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297692)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:28 PM
Author: bisexual shimmering point

Edit:

I'm starting to feel bad.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297429)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:29 PM
Author: Lemon library



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297440)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:31 PM
Author: Bateful glassy hall

I think he emceed my Bar Mitzvah.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297455)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:32 PM
Author: white mental disorder

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!

Unbelievable, simply unbelievable... From the tux, to the U.S. Supreme Court bar, to the AOL URL...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297465)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:41 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

what does it take to graduate 'near' the top of your class at Fordham?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297531)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:45 PM
Author: white mental disorder

I dunno about that, but it must be pretty damn hard to become an adjunct professor of law at the local community college.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297561)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:48 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

his son is obviously a better web designer and goes to a much more prestigious law school. i wonder what shif sr. must be like in real life.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297587)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:51 PM
Author: white mental disorder

Eh, after seeing DeShif.com Penn doesn't feel very prestigious anymore :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297610)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:56 PM
Author: Curious Ungodly Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297654)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:43 PM
Author: Azure motley codepig resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297547)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:53 PM
Author: Lemon library



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297631)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:58 PM
Author: ocher racy meetinghouse mexican

Link from above:

http://members.aol.com/shiflaw/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297688)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:36 PM
Author: rebellious tantric pocket flask scourge upon the earth

Damn that's funny.

I love the guy's pic on the right. What a fag.

This confirms it: douchebaggery is genetic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391196)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:44 PM
Author: Azure motley codepig resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297558)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:53 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

initially i thought that reading this would do him some good. (as i posted above, i was a pretty big dork in HS, simply because i was just so unaware of social norms and my social image. getting picked on honestly did wonders for my life since then)

but in my experience there are just some kids that dont get it and dont care. the type of guys that you might invite to sit with you at lunch or invite out for a beer just to make an effort to include them, but they turn out to be even weirder than you expected. the guy obviously enjoys his life and is proud of his accomplishments. i cant imagine him reading this thread and being enlightened on the one hand or emotionally hurt on the other.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297623)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:55 PM
Author: Azure motley codepig resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297647)





Date: March 9th, 2005 10:24 PM
Author: white mental disorder

Yeah, there's no way that he can't *not* know what people think of him here. He probably doesn't care or loves it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298364)





Date: March 11th, 2005 2:04 PM
Author: copper chapel

"enlighten on the one hand or emotionally distrubed on the other". Are you kidding? This guy is going to update his resume/CV to include this link to show how much people are talking about him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308523)





Date: March 10th, 2005 9:32 AM
Author: violet base

He probably googles himself on a regular basis. If xoxo threads turn up in google, he'll find it himself.

I just googled him on my own, and he's listed as the treasurer of the Golden Key at Hunter. 2003.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300319)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:50 PM
Author: razzmatazz den

It's not very "Bush team leader" of him to travel to red Cuba and spend his Euros there!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297607)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:53 PM
Author: white mental disorder

That website made me feel ashamed to be a Republican.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297622)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:57 PM
Author: Lemon library

As if the GOP had oodles of dignity in the first place.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297666)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:59 PM
Author: ocher racy meetinghouse mexican

172

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297706)





Date: March 11th, 2005 2:02 PM
Author: appetizing hell

I feel the same way. I was really hoping he'd be a wacko liberal.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308498)





Date: March 9th, 2005 8:55 PM
Author: godawful lascivious locale main people

$1000 vegas

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297648)





Date: March 9th, 2005 9:44 PM
Author: boyish center headpube

i dont get it, why would anyone want to read his schedule and calendar? what is the purpose of having that shit on his website? The resume is one thing, but why do i need to know where he is every second of every single day?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298093)





Date: March 9th, 2005 9:55 PM
Author: Curious Ungodly Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298193)





Date: March 9th, 2005 10:47 PM
Author: Maroon Cerebral Plaza Travel Guidebook

strict scrutiny: he'safag

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298507)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:22 PM
Author: Curious Ungodly Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298729)





Date: June 18th, 2005 10:22 AM
Author: Wine painfully honest turdskin whorehouse

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3047023)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:25 PM
Author: exciting principal's office jewess

i know the entire family pretty well, though i'm certainly not friends with david.

give him a break. he's been taking shit his whole life.

and don't bring the dad into it. shitty website or not, take it from me, the guy's pretty fucking successful.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298755)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:31 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

we dont need to take it from you, we've got his life story on a website

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298787)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:32 PM
Author: bisexual shimmering point

Taking shit from what?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298793)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:35 PM
Author: exciting principal's office jewess

from peers. likely due to stuttering and social awkwardness, as well as his looks. he might be annoying as all hell in large groups, but he's a pretty nice guy otherwise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298815)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:45 PM
Author: Spectacular liquid oxygen

I know a guy who is a severe stutterer and he was well liked and successful at HYS -- he was on law review and ended up at a top-5 NY firm. Law school may look like high school, but it's not.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298893)





Date: March 11th, 2005 2:14 PM
Author: copper chapel

Listen, this guy brings shit upon himself by creating a website like and by out-biding himself for a picnic. If he get's picked on because of his actions, it's his own fault.

I actually started to feel sorry for this guy until I read his sense of self importance. There are likeable nerds but this guy isn't one of them. So, if he gets picked on... oh well. That said, he'll probably have the last laugh after he explodes and goes postal on all of us.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308609)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:33 PM
Author: Curious Ungodly Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298802)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:36 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

surely you jest?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298823)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:38 PM
Author: Curious Ungodly Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298842)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:40 PM
Author: Spectacular liquid oxygen

Is Burbank around this year? I wouldn't want him to get shot.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298864)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:41 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

if he really plans to blow away some kids at school im sure he'll update his calendar online before he does it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298872)





Date: March 10th, 2005 1:10 AM
Author: Maroon Cerebral Plaza Travel Guidebook

hahahahah 1fucking80

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2299424)





Date: March 10th, 2005 12:55 PM
Author: high-end selfie

A+

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300946)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:45 PM
Author: Well-lubricated party of the first part partner

This reminds me of the good 'ol days of XOXO.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298899)





Date: March 9th, 2005 11:48 PM
Author: Nighttime carnelian cuck

-

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298916)





Date: March 10th, 2005 12:52 AM
Author: Multi-colored french chef box office
Subject: Holy Crap, it's David Shifren!

I went to college with this guy. He was notorious on campus for being the biggest nerd at the entire school. I can't say I really ever talked to him, but he was a total tool.

1. I know of at least two girls that had to get restraining orders against him because he stalked them. He would wait outside their dorms for them every day, all day. No social graces, couldn't figure out that just because a girl smiled at you in class does not make her your new best friend.

2. I saw him on Halloween one year wearing a cheerleading outfit. Keep in mind, he's at least 70 pounds overweight. And he wasn't the funny fat kid in a group of friends doing it to be funny. It was very creepy.

3. As others have noted, he's the arrogant, aggressive, supernerd. We all hated him.

4. I don't know if he got kicked out of school for stalking, but it certainly wouldn't surprise me. His picture isn't in the class yearbook, and he's not listed in the online alumni directory.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2299290)





Date: March 10th, 2005 1:29 AM
Author: Azure motley codepig resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2299554)





Date: March 10th, 2005 2:12 AM
Author: Histrionic stage

nice!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2299840)





Date: March 10th, 2005 6:38 AM
Author: big-titted frum church roommate

I find it strange that this kid's apparently a big ol' federalist but is also in "journal of law and social change" (sounds liberal) and STREET LAW.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300222)





Date: March 10th, 2005 7:13 AM
Author: Aphrodisiac abnormal location

You are such asses. I met this guy a couple of weeks ago, and he seems fine in real life. Give him a break.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300239)





Date: March 10th, 2005 10:28 AM
Author: Bossy costumed cuckoldry

Aren't you supposed to go to YLS?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300450)





Date: March 5th, 2006 2:36 AM
Author: Cracking stag film sneaky criminal

HI DAVID

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#5251259)





Date: March 10th, 2005 7:26 AM
Author: Fluffy excitant sanctuary

As soon as he finds out about all of this he's definitely adding "The Most Prestigious Admissions Board in the World" to the "featured in" section of his CV.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300243)





Date: March 10th, 2005 11:36 AM
Author: Azure motley codepig resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300735)





Date: March 10th, 2005 7:33 AM
Author: big rusted casino hunting ground

Wow. I thought UVA's republican nerdy guy who everbody knows who has a website was sort of toolish, but he looks like Miles Davis compared to Mr. Shif.

I don't know why I posted this, as I won't say who the UVA guy is, so don't bother asking.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300245)





Date: March 10th, 2005 7:56 AM
Author: big rusted casino hunting ground

Oh, and whether there was any doubt that this is really him putting up the site, well, I think it runs in the family

http://members.aol.com/shiflaw/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300257)





Date: March 10th, 2005 1:15 PM
Author: Lavender trip cumskin garrison

Whats with the magician pictures?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2301101)





Date: March 10th, 2005 6:25 PM
Author: white mental disorder

What's with the AOL address? At least DeShif got his own domain name.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2302842)





Date: March 10th, 2005 8:38 AM
Author: awkward cheese-eating messiness cuckold

This person is a classic example of why all schools should REQUIRE interviews before offering admission.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300268)





Date: March 10th, 2005 8:51 AM
Author: Confused galvanic ticket booth

lmao...wow. really. wow. nobody else puts MIDDLE SCHOOL or sophomore year of high school "honors" on their stuff, right? and is a link to "Spanish" in "Proficient in Spanish - verbal and written communication" really necessary?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300278)





Date: March 10th, 2005 10:43 AM
Author: Salmon know-it-all gunner old irish cottage
Subject: I cant believe

Im sorry... I'm really still in disbelief that people like this actually exist. What happens to them? ARe these the kind of people who become famously successful? I have to assume no way... but I actually think his resume is preety fucking prestigious.

Nonetheless, I'm sure he scores in the bottom 10th percentile on all standardized social skill tests. He reminds me of that guy in office space, milton.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300493)





Date: March 10th, 2005 10:56 AM
Author: duck-like tanning salon sound barrier

You guys, I am a NATIONAL AP SCHOLAR WITH DISTINCTION and I didn't put that anywhere in my applications. Am I screwed?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300549)





Date: March 10th, 2005 12:57 PM
Author: high-end selfie

How'd that paper go?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300958)





Date: March 11th, 2005 12:35 PM
Author: duck-like tanning salon sound barrier

I just had to turn in the proposal (four pages plus preliminary bibliography) and he ate it up, gave me an A, and said it is a wonderful and unique topic.

I can only assume that Peen Law Review is in my future, but seriously, thanks. ;)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2307844)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:56 PM
Author: high-end selfie

That's an interesting typo.

GL.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308444)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:57 PM
Author: duck-like tanning salon sound barrier

I will chalk that up to midterms, and also my TTTness.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308451)





Date: March 11th, 2005 1:58 PM
Author: high-end selfie

It's cool. Yours was an easy question, really; harder has been answering the "What should I write my college essay about?" questions (I teach high school, if you didn't already know that)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308465)





Date: March 11th, 2005 2:26 PM
Author: duck-like tanning salon sound barrier

Their desire to sleep with members of the adcomm.

That's what I wrote my law one on. ;)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308720)





Date: March 10th, 2005 11:09 AM
Author: charismatic voyeur legal warrant

check out the link to his father's law firm...

http://members.aol.com/shiflaw/

who puts a picture of themselves like that up on their professional site.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300609)





Date: June 18th, 2005 2:35 AM
Author: laughsome incel

Like father, like son...their webdesign skills are AWFUL.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3046420)





Date: March 10th, 2005 12:30 PM
Author: zombie-like public bath famous landscape painting

You guys are just jealous... My resume is more prestigous than yours, my father is more presitgous than yours, and the girl that I stalk and will one day be my girlfriend is more prestigous than your girlfriend.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300788)





Date: March 10th, 2005 12:43 PM
Author: violet base

yeah...that's it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300847)





Date: March 10th, 2005 4:01 PM
Author: Crawly mind-boggling institution community account

thanks man, I spent 10 minutes reading this post in class, then you post this, I lose my shit and starting laughing out loud in Con Law. Luckily, the teacher did not say anything.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2301861)





Date: March 10th, 2005 2:31 PM
Author: Thriller regret university

I'm not going to make fun of this guy because he's just emblematic of the Republican Party (David Shifren = New School Karl Rove) and Long Island as a whole.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2301466)





Date: March 10th, 2005 2:49 PM
Author: smoky set

You think Shitren carries business cards with him?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2301563)





Date: March 10th, 2005 6:36 PM
Author: Arrogant Vigorous Pit Roast Beef

i suspect they would be 'business binders'

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2302913)





Date: March 10th, 2005 7:24 PM
Author: Transparent submissive cruise ship

LOL. THIS GUY IS A FAGGOT. I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE CLASSES WITH HIM THOUGH. NON STOP COMEDY EVERY DAY. LOL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2303187)





Date: March 10th, 2005 7:32 PM
Author: Swashbuckling Business Firm

i'm surprised to see people bashing LeBoeuf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2303231)





Date: March 10th, 2005 10:33 PM
Author: Curious Ungodly Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2304313)





Date: March 10th, 2005 10:34 PM
Author: Talking Dragon

Well, they did hire this douchebag.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2304326)





Date: March 10th, 2005 10:39 PM
Author: Curious Ungodly Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2304370)





Date: March 11th, 2005 10:42 PM
Author: Slate Hideous Shrine

I feel bad for the poor guy. So he is a big nerd and he is annoying. I get it.

I would be mortified if I went on the internet and read hundreds of messages making fun of me. No one deserves that sort of public humiliation, no matter how much of a nerd they are. I say it's time to call off the hounds.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2312190)





Date: March 11th, 2005 10:46 PM
Author: Brindle hyperventilating abode

You're a dolt. By voluntarily making the details of his life visible to all, he has thoroughly forfeited any entitlement to pity.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2312228)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 3:26 PM
Author: Hilarious multi-billionaire

bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2388651)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 3:31 PM
Author: cowardly home

Thanks. I forgot about this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2388684)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 3:40 PM
Author: Hilarious multi-billionaire

I love it - I can't get enough of it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2388752)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 4:25 PM
Author: hairraiser heaven degenerate

check out his pic w/ Ari Fleischer on his website.

Edit: Is that real silk? http://www.deshif.com/pix/ARI.JPG

(probably right after meeting Ari: riding the goat - http://www.deshif.com/pix/B10.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2389187)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:00 PM
Author: Sienna organic girlfriend

"Hello 911...There is a douchebag harrasing Judge Jones and some of her interns..."

http://www.deshif.com/pix/BSJ1.JPG

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2389993)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:01 PM
Author: bearded karate field

Damn, the one on the right of the judge is hot.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390003)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:01 PM
Author: Hilarious multi-billionaire

Probably spent 2 hours rounding up that many women - only to have his shot ruined by another male in the background.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390007)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:17 PM
Author: hairraiser heaven degenerate

Every time I start feeling bad about this thread I think about the past two presidential elections. The fact that I feel bad at all is the problem. Democrats need to learn to be heartless a$$holes. Might as well learn by practicing on Republicans. (NOTE: I do like Christine Todd Whitman, but I'm pretty sure she isn't a real Republican).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390098)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:24 PM
Author: lime stage sex offender

LOOK AT THE MANTITTIES ON THAT TOOL!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391100)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:47 PM
Author: Disrespectful aquamarine step-uncle's house volcanic crater
Subject: are you sure?

Ombudsman,

Please view this picture that he VOLUNTARILY posted on his website: http://www.deshif.com/pix/B10.jpg (and recently mentioned above)...

Do you still contend that "No one deserves that sort of public humiliation, no matter how much of a nerd they are."



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390332)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:48 PM
Author: white mental disorder

The Goat has been violated :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390340)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:27 PM
Author: shivering electric marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391123)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:48 PM
Author: Slimy Chocolate Area Dingle Berry
Subject: wow

does this poor guy even know he's getting totally owned on xoxo by now? somebody must have told him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390345)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:53 PM
Author: zombie-like public bath famous landscape painting

Yes I know, In fact it's on my resume.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390375)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:55 PM
Author: Hilarious multi-billionaire

I checked - I don't see it on the main page. Is it in Appendix C?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390389)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 10:18 PM
Author: hairraiser heaven degenerate

LMFAO

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391927)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:47 PM
Author: fuchsia idiotic trump supporter site

Oh man, I think I've passed his father's law practice in Hicksville. The one I'm thinking of has its phone number in huge gold numbers on the front of the building, so I'll have to pay more attention the next time I pass it. It's right near where LILCO was, so I think that could be it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391312)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:52 PM
Author: federal khaki bbw
Subject: Nope

That's Dominic Barbara's practice. My father's practice used to be down the road from there but no longer is.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392841)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:54 AM
Author: Azure motley codepig resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394077)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:57 AM
Author: federal khaki bbw

Not personally.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394103)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:11 AM
Author: Startling piazza

Do you know me?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394220)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:14 AM
Author: federal khaki bbw

Nope. Should I?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394245)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:16 AM
Author: Startling piazza

Yes.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394273)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:19 AM
Author: federal khaki bbw

Or, rather, do I?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394301)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:48 PM
Author: bull headed pearl foreskin gaping
Subject: Computer Science

When I first saw that photo, I thought to myself "computer science." Then I scrolled down the page and . . .

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391320)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:30 PM
Author: federal khaki bbw
Subject: I'm touched...

... that everyone seems to find my site so hilarious.

1. Yes, the site is real. I'm real. And I'm really DEShif himself. (To prove it's me, here's the IM I got from Jim Adler: Mr Jim Adler (7:12:27 PM): You seriously have got to be the biggest tool I have ever come across in my life. Your resume is pathetic and the fact that you list the things that you do on your away message is just sad.)

2. Neither "xeris" nor "David Shifren" are me. I just found about this forum (and, indeed, this site) tonight when someone posted to my site's forum.

3. The story about my bidding for $950 for picnic with Struve is true. I did have a group lined up (although not at that price). And it has nothing to do with her looks or gender and everything to do with market competition. You may recall I also bought events with Profs. Roosevelt, Persily, Parchomovsky, and Prichett (all male). The only reason I spent $950 for this one was because a group of 1Ls bid up to $900.

4. The rumors about expulsion from Duke, restraining orders, or any stalking at all are utterly untrue. Ask the admissions office if you don't believe me - they've seen my records.

5. The photo of Judge Jones' chambers really are the clerks and interns. At the time it was taken, I was the only male in the office. And, no, that's not why I took the job!

6. Yes, the hot body championships are true. And, yes, I won them despite (or perhaps due to?) my being fat and ugly.

7. This online resume isn't the same as my actual, paper resume. That one is one page and omits almost all of the minor things which are on the online resume. This one is much more comprehensive and (perhaps exhaustively) detailed.

8. Finally, the purpose behind the event calendar and schedule is twofold: first, for my own convenience - I don't have a PDA and secondly, because my friends (yes, I do have friends!) sometimes use it to see what's going on, what classes I'm taking, or when I'm free.

9. The Cuba trip was legal (and quite fun) - I had Treasury Dept. permission through the law school to conduct academic research.

10. Finally, despite what many on the board have speculated, I am neither gay nor a virgin (although, admittedly, I am single). And, in response to your next question, I've never used a prostitute.

Let me know if you have any other questions. :)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392604)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:32 PM
Author: Floppy son of senegal

i like you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392631)





Date: March 24th, 2005 12:17 AM
Author: Aromatic blue trailer park

youve got a pair my friend. welcome to the insanity.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393135)





Date: March 24th, 2005 12:29 AM
Author: Soul-stirring at-the-ready menage

Dear Mr. Shifren,

Upon examining your resume, my advisors and I have concluded that I am more prestigious than you. While you have achieved some prestigiousness in your day, you simply do not rival the glorious elitism that is 174. HTH.

Please update your resume's "Recognition" section to reflect that I responded to your post, as this surely constitutes prestigious recognition.

Feel free to ask for advice if you ever need help not being a TTT.

Gloriously elite,

174

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393269)





Date: March 24th, 2005 12:45 AM
Author: provocative drab mediation friendly grandma

"Please update your resume's "Recognition" section to reflect that I responded to your post, as this surely constitutes prestigious recognition"

Yes. 180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393429)





Date: March 24th, 2005 12:47 AM
Author: Soul-stirring at-the-ready menage

*bows*

I have racked up two 180's tonight. This is unprecedented.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393449)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:28 AM
Author: frisky stead pozpig

a truly stirring moment of prestigiousness

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393893)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:43 AM
Author: Elite idea he suggested brunch

Hey douchebag,

I actually found this funny. Well done. Finally youre getting the hang of utilizing your schtick in an effective manner. Keep it up, and Ill refrain from embarassing you.

Hugs and Kisses,

YOUREANIDIOT

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394007)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:36 AM
Author: Soul-stirring at-the-ready menage

Thanks for the vote of confidence- I just had to work out the kinks.

I sure am glad you're done "embarassing" me!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394464)





Date: March 24th, 2005 11:27 AM
Author: Dull locus

176

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2395868)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:35 AM
Author: bisexual shimmering point

You sound pretty nice.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393946)





Date: March 24th, 2005 5:12 PM
Author: Alcoholic antidepressant drug
Subject: please grow up

Greetings.

Making fun of others is fine. We all do it.

It is extremely cowardly, however, to do so anonymously, hiding behind the cloak of a website.

Thus, I present a real, working email address:

adamspamguard-autoadmit@yahoo.com

[Of course, this is a temporary address, I can keep it as long (or short) as I want. But for now it goes straight to my inbox]

Anyway. I strongly recommend that many of you think long and hard about your desire and readiness for law school. These types of baseless attacks simply are not welcome within these halls.

If nothing else, please do not come to Penn. You won't fit in and we won't accept these types of attitudes and behaviors.

And in the future, if you have something to say, please at least attach a name and email.

--Adam

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2398319)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:33 PM
Author: seedy buck-toothed telephone striped hyena

This douche misspelled "university" on his TTTSHITEATINGFAGGOT resume!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392639)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:47 PM
Author: federal khaki bbw
Subject: Doh!

Wow, how embarrassing! Thanks for letting me know! I'll fix it right away! (Good thing this isn't the resume I send to employers!)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392798)





Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:48 PM
Author: Razzle School

be nice, he's a really nice, smart guy. just dorky. he was in my freshman dorm.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392806)





Date: March 24th, 2005 12:12 AM
Author: Adventurous forum

Did you ever play spit and shove?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393083)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:29 AM
Author: frisky stead pozpig

holy shit -- you know him?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393896)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:47 AM
Author: Charcoal passionate house
Subject: You're all fucked.

I know David from another school he went to. Yes, he sat in the front and raised his hand, and yes he would often annoy the teacher, and yes it took him a little while to get his words out and yes he was akward with girls and akward in general.

However, he has a good heart. He is a good guy. He is never mean, always positive and if he comes off arrogant sometimes, well re-read the aforegoing posts and ask yourself why someone who is constantly made fun of might act like that. I wasn't his best friend, or really knew him, but someone told me of this post today and we all talked about why it was sad that there were so many immature children who could not be supportive of those around them who might be challenged in one way or another. Maybe sometimes people paint targets on themselves, but who are we to hurl shit at them.

I wish David the best of luck. I think he should, if he is reading this, understand that people are jealous, in the case of these posts, it pervades their comments, and finally David, all of us at Cardozo think well of you and wish you the best.

Fuck these people and keep growing, you'll learn what you need to, God knows you are smart enough to get there. Be yourself. Find your way. Keep your head up. Most importantly, don't listen to the negativity. Good Luck.

Paul Perkins

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394023)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:47 AM
Author: frisky stead pozpig

why are you responding to MY post, dipshit? i never said anything bad about the guy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394027)





Date: March 24th, 2005 1:50 AM
Author: federal khaki bbw

Hey Paul - thanks for the warm wishes. It's good to hear from you and give my regards to the Cardozo crew! I miss you guys - drop me a line sometime!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394048)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:16 AM
Author: seedy buck-toothed telephone striped hyena

Cardozo crew...OUCH!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394276)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:18 AM
Author: federal khaki bbw

?!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394296)





Date: March 24th, 2005 2:18 AM
Author: Startling piazza

www.hallmark.com

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394299)





Date: March 24th, 2005 11:20 AM
Author: provocative drab mediation friendly grandma

Hi David.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2395818)





Date: March 24th, 2005 6:00 PM
Author: Concupiscible crackhouse
Subject: what I have learned from this thread

1. the future of the justice system will be in the hands of many childish, hateful misfits who have nothing better to do than attempt to destroy the self-esteem of an accomplished human being.

2. Posting enormous amounts of personal information online is an invariable risk and makes you vulnerable to such scrutiny.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2398608)





Date: March 24th, 2005 6:57 PM
Author: arousing low-t gaming laptop trust fund

why does his phone number have a seattle area code?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2398956)





Date: April 21st, 2005 7:05 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle giraffe

Cell phone, I would assume.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2607210)





Date: June 18th, 2005 2:08 AM
Author: Vivacious Cream Ape

probably

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3046322)





Date: June 18th, 2005 2:22 AM
Author: laughsome incel

http://www.deshif.com/pix/B10.jpg

Now we all know what he does on his off time...

edit: http://www.deshif.com/pix/PB100049.JPG this too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3046364)





Date: June 18th, 2005 2:30 AM
Author: laughsome incel

http://www.deshif.com/pix/P4130076.JPG

bwahahahaha. Funniest pic yet.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3046404)





Date: June 20th, 2005 4:08 PM
Author: Amethyst Unhinged Space
Subject: David Shifren

Hi, my name is Carol, and I've been friends with Dave since high school. Rather, he has been a good friend to me for almost the last 10 years, despite my immaturity throughout most of the time period. For a very long time, I was an utter douchebag who thought that popularity mattered and Dave was strange, so I wasn't a very good friend to him. (Dave, please consider this my official apology.)

Dave has stuck by me through thick and thin all of these years. He has been a thoughtful, kind, and generous friend and a great listener. He is an intelligent, patient person who gives without expecting anything in return from others. Whenever someone pokes fun at him, he takes it in stride and is never mean to the offending party. The rest of us can learn a lot from him.

More about me: Right now I'm in business school in the DC area. Usually I'm pretty normal and boring (http://photos1.blogger.com/img/63/3838/1024/IMG_1058.jpg ) but sometimes I can be silly and cool like Dave (http://photos1.blogger.com/img/63/3838/1024/IMG_0018.jpg ).

If any of you douchebags out there want to sling insults at me for defending my friend, feel free. Your puerile stupidity amuses me.

Carol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3065652)





Date: June 20th, 2005 4:09 PM
Author: Maize marvelous feces

What STD's do you have?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3065665)





Date: June 20th, 2005 4:12 PM
Author: Amethyst Unhinged Space

Actually, it's very interesting that you ask this question. As a precaution, I get tested at least once every year. I just got my results back today and I've tested negative for all of the diseases. Unless you're counting intelligence as an STD. :)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3065697)





Date: June 20th, 2005 6:17 PM
Author: Cocky overrated

Shut up.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3066750)





Date: June 20th, 2005 4:10 PM
Author: Brindle hyperventilating abode

Eat shit and die.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3065674)





Date: June 20th, 2005 4:14 PM
Author: Amethyst Unhinged Space

Nice username!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3065705)





Date: December 19th, 2005 3:26 AM
Author: flirting crotch therapy

LOL BUMP

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4605993)





Date: December 19th, 2005 3:29 AM
Author: mewling half-breed

http://www.deshif.com/pix/PB100049.JPG

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4606008)





Date: December 19th, 2005 3:36 AM
Author: talented idiot

Ride 'em cowboy!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4606038)





Date: December 19th, 2005 4:46 AM
Author: house-broken sinister private investor

"LEGAL EXPERIENCE

LeBoeuf, Lamb, Greene & MacRae LLP, New York, New York - Summer Associate, Summer 2005."

pwn3d

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4606364)





Date: December 19th, 2005 9:11 PM
Author: Violent
Subject: "Education"

Duke University

nuff said.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4612748)





Date: December 19th, 2005 10:11 PM
Author: Umber tattoo

OH MY FUCKING GOD ALL MIGHTY!!!!! This has to be one of the best threads EVER! Still, after Davids response....he seems like a perfectly well adjusted, kind, if awkward feller. I for one support him despite his extreme lack of social skills. If you will allow me:

Life is tough, as tough can be

But David you can count on thee

to pull yourself from deep dispair

and rise above, and make it there

Your talents wide, and varied are

with a little hope, youll be a star

just make sure to love yourself

and lose some weight, if for your health

your wit is keen, and lsat high

your memory strong, you are not shy

your breast is large, to hold your heart

which beats in rhythm, it does its part

and despite what these losers say

nay never forget that though you may

display the douchbaggery most high and hard

you can allways play the lexis card



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4613300)





Date: December 20th, 2005 12:56 AM
Author: Insanely creepy azn puppy

rock on dave!

Also, did you guys notice he attended the Institute for Justice law student conference?

He's a libertarian to boot. I don't care what his persona is (which doesn't seem all that bad). If he uses his intellectual talents and ambitions to further the cause of liberty MORE POWER TO HIM.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4615203)





Date: December 20th, 2005 3:06 AM
Author: Burgundy demanding patrolman

Vicious satire is not 'hatred'. Teacher's pets have always been ridiculed, so no sympathy should be expected. . .

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4616610)





Date: December 20th, 2005 2:15 PM
Author: geriatric prole

I've got one word.....HA

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4619455)





Date: December 20th, 2005 2:37 PM
Author: Fiercely-loyal avocado alpha

In keeping with Penn's employed at graduation rate, he must be working at like 3 firms simultaneously by now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4619677)





Date: January 16th, 2006 5:07 PM
Author: kink-friendly national security agency
Subject: I saw this loser in Cancun

Over Christmas break I saw this loser dancing his fat ass off in a cancun nightclub (by himself of course). I even asked him was he a Penn law student to be sure, he asked "what have I done?" I said I was a 3L and recognized him. Meanwhile I had to come up with a lie so explain to my friends why I was talking to this loser.

I'll say this, the boy ain't shy...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4833722)





Date: January 17th, 2006 4:24 AM
Author: Medicated immigrant

dp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4838492)





Date: January 17th, 2006 4:24 AM
Author: Medicated immigrant

The fact that he went to cancun by himself. And went to a bar by himself. And was dancing by himself makes 'shif very, very, prestigious.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4838493)





Date: January 17th, 2006 1:08 PM
Author: federal khaki bbw
Subject: Must have missed...

You must have missed the fact that I was there with, oh, 40 or so friends. (I've been going to Cancun for 20 years, so I know a lot of people down there.) Nice try, though. And, if I recall correctly, I rebuffed your advance. I didn't mean to be hurtful, I just don't swing that way.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4839613)





Date: January 17th, 2006 1:38 PM
Author: Obsidian

I'd like to stick that pudgy meathole of yours

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4839810)





Date: January 17th, 2006 1:40 PM
Author: Aggressive clown

I admire this motherfucker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4839818)





Date: January 18th, 2006 10:56 AM
Author: Hateful boistinker

He's got moxie. I'll give him that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4847351)





Date: January 17th, 2006 3:53 PM
Author: bat-shit-crazy

LEBOUEFPWN3DDD!!!!111

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4840902)





Date: January 18th, 2006 10:44 AM
Author: kink-friendly national security agency

I didn't notice the 40 friends, but I wasn't looking for them either.

I felt like I was in the presence of a celebrity. Lowly ole me watching DeShif groove on the corner of the stage. I thought DeShif only existed in my dreams. I was starstruck watching you move those meaty hips to the beat of the music. If only I had internet access that night my friends and I could have celebrated our chance encounter with xoxo royalty. Instead all I heard was "What the fuck are you doing talking to that guy." I even was going to take a photo of you with a couple of the girls we were with, but they were worried about you dripping sweat on them.

I do have a healthy measure of respect for DeShif, any dude willing to get up on the DJ stage and dance by himself is cool by me. You, Mr. DeShif, have enough balls for 8 normal men. I salute you.

By the way, there were a ton of young hotties there that night, I trust you did not go home alone.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4847309)





Date: January 18th, 2006 11:50 AM
Author: glittery black dilemma

you are frighteningly cool

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4847625)





Date: January 18th, 2006 12:11 PM
Author: kink-friendly national security agency

thats what I keep hearing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4847775)





Date: January 18th, 2006 11:47 AM
Author: gaped deranged ratface

Awesome.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4847612)





Date: January 17th, 2006 4:09 PM
Author: outnumbered

You guys have problems. This guy seems fine. You guys, on the other hand, look pathetic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4840997)





Date: January 17th, 2006 6:49 PM
Author: Vibrant navy athletic conference

whatever, this fat retarded dumbfuck is the kind of fat retarded dumbfuck that gives lawyers, republicans, Americans and white males a bad name.

Shockingly, this idiot hasn't even been compared to who he is most like. Even though, as I recall, there is a photo with him with the dude.

Karl Rove was close, but Rove at least is an architect, a strategic thinker that can assess avenues and devise tactics to negotiate them toward success.

This fat dumbass is more like Ken Starr than anyone else. His claim to fame: examining Bill Clintons spooge marks. This heeb is well on his way.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4842429)





Date: January 17th, 2006 7:06 PM
Author: outnumbered

Who are you talking about? That kid is just a law student. Where are you getting all this shit?

You have problems.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4842563)





Date: January 18th, 2006 10:54 AM
Author: glittery black dilemma

he seems like a perfectly decent guy. and GTO -- our "director of educational services" -- ridiculing someone for credential puffery is ridiculously ironic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4847345)





Date: March 5th, 2006 2:32 AM
Author: bright toaster

bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#5251207)