Hilarious Penn Law student website/resume - Let's bash this TTT
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01/17/06 | | walnut digit ratio | 01/18/06 | | Mint Karate | 01/17/06 | | crawly | 01/18/06 | | Yellow deep double fault | 01/18/06 | | crawly | 01/18/06 | | | 01/18/06 | | disrespectful thirsty laser beams boiling water | 01/17/06 | | anal menage hunting ground | 01/17/06 | | disrespectful thirsty laser beams boiling water | 01/17/06 | | Yellow deep double fault | 01/18/06 | | dun fanboi | 03/05/06 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: March 9th, 2005 5:18 PM Author: Razzle giraffe
Anyone here know this douche?
http://www.deshif.com/
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295847) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 5:20 PM Author: Razzmatazz Federal Halford
Wow... just wow. All that's missing is an LSAT score.
# Westlaw Certifications: Advanced Case Law, Advanced Statutory Research, Litigation, International Law, Patent, Trademark, Tax.
# LexisNexis Mastery Certifications: Federal Litigation, Federal Tax, Corporate and Securities, International Law, IP, Environmental Law.
Awarded junior class standing upon matriculation based on advanced high school coursework.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295863) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 5:21 PM Author: iridescent wild market international law enforcement agency
he evidently was formally congratulated for 'oustanding academic achievement' by alfonse d'amato.
if that's not prestige, then nothing is.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295868) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 5:23 PM Author: Razzmatazz Federal Halford
Hey, don't sell him short! He was also formally congratulated by
* Nassau County Executive Thomas Gulotta.
* Suffolk County Executive Robert Gaffney.
* U.S. Congressman Gary Ackerman.
* New York State Senate President Pro Tem and Majority Leader Ralph Marino.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295887) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 7:47 PM Author: Supple Idiotic Set Tattoo
when i started HS i was a pretty big dork, and i got picked on big time, and righfully so. it really sucked at the time, but im glad people were 'uncivil' to me, because it was only going to be worse at the next level unless i started becoming a little more self-aware of my social image. good, bad, right, wrong - that is just the way it is. you can stick up for this kid (or defend yourself if you are him), but the fact is, we are doing him (you) a favor.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297073) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 7:39 PM Author: Racy Self-centered Site Indirect Expression
David, it's obviously you b/c no one else would be so persistent and call us naughty names out of nowhere. and I totally don't even recognize your moniker.
also allow me take this opportunity to tell you that my LS is more prestigious than yours, David.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296990) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 10:52 PM Author: Yellow deep double fault
and the onion "feature" is a photograph with a bunch of people seemingly chosen because they exude douchebaggery.
every law school has one of these guys. what's most amazing here is that the list of achievements is so long without even one of them being at all impresive. and "westlaw certification" is bizarre. that's like saying you have a driver's license.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298538) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 5:26 PM Author: Swashbuckling Quadroon
Oh my God. I didn't know that there was an actual place called "Hicksville," but apparently, there is.
My friend's bf is on law review at Penn...I'll have to ask about this dude.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295922) |
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Date: March 10th, 2005 7:18 PM Author: talented associate whorehouse
i know, i thought it was just an expression until i stood at penn station and read the flashing signs for the long island railroad.
apparently hicksville girls wear white jeans and have really big bangs, though
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2303157) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 5:23 PM Author: Submissive community account
They actually used him for a photo shoot for the Onion when they needed a picture of a douche. Superb.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295894) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 5:25 PM Author: Razzmatazz Federal Halford
LOL
http://www.deshif.com/onion.htm
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295909) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 5:28 PM Author: Brilliant Boyish Gas Station Milk
Someone should email this to everyone at upenn
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295937) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 5:28 PM Author: Hyperventilating crusty pistol
In case you ever want to get in touch with him, http://www.deshif.com/Cal0000.htm
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295938) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 5:32 PM Author: Charismatic temple
"Facilitated development of interpersonal and social skills through interaction with elderly psychiatric patients"
OMG. We all puff our resumes a bit, but come on! This shit's embarrassing to read.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2295978) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 5:42 PM Author: Vermilion Wonderful Dingle Berry Parlor
VIRGIN
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296045) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 5:43 PM Author: Provocative heaven dog poop
You HAVE to read the Nikkei link. Who on earth would put a story about being fired on their resume?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296051) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 5:45 PM Author: Razzmatazz Federal Halford
Oh Christ, I didn't even notice that:
A pink slipper David Shifren, software engineer, was laid off from a newly built telecommunication company in November just two weeks after he was hired. "I do want to work for a IT-related company again," says Shifren, who talked to four recruiters at the party that night. "But next one must be a place where I can get a decent training."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296076) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 5:45 PM Author: territorial orchid ladyboy death wish
With all of these lame hobbies, how does he find time for the most important facet of his existence: furtively masturbating to TeenPeople for hours at a time?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296066) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 5:47 PM Author: Vigorous Sinister Lodge
Leboeuf is a good place to work. Seriously.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296088) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 5:56 PM Author: Razzmatazz Federal Halford
Ha... I guess that goes to show how much personality matters, when good grades and law review only gets you LeBoeuf.
However, the fact that even he can make $125k should show how well Penn places ;)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296163) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 6:03 PM Author: Vigorous Sinister Lodge
Like I told you eariler, it's not just about vault rank.
*edit* however since guy is working there, my opinion is going to drop.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296233) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 6:04 PM Author: dashing base
he's still a douche if he makes 450K.
hth
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296237) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 6:04 PM Author: coiffed dilemma codepig
[Oh, fine. Guilt edit.]
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296235) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 7:02 PM Author: Supple Idiotic Set Tattoo
Did you guys catch this one:
Keyboards/cowbell/lute: Captain Buzzkill & the Bringdowns
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296676) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 7:05 PM Author: peach rehab alpha
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296695) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 7:12 PM Author: Pungent stimulating parlour cuckoldry
"Cancun Hot Body '03 & '04""
I don't believe it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296751) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 7:20 PM Author: Supple Idiotic Set Tattoo
see the WHOIS i posted below
his website was registered about 2 years ago, that means someone would have to hack his domain to put that stuff up there and i cant believe anyone would put that much effort into a prank
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296826) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 7:06 PM Author: Supple Idiotic Set Tattoo
Notice that this guy's resume is so douchey that no one is even talking about how fat and ugly he is.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296701) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 7:06 PM Author: peach rehab alpha
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296704) |
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Date: March 11th, 2005 1:47 PM Author: Diverse sexy den goyim
Oh, geez. Now I'm ashamed that I have something in common with him.
It was basically a fricking EMAIL LIST.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308377) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 7:10 PM Author: Racy Self-centered Site Indirect Expression
mental note: don't try to get job with Leboeuf in the fall
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296732) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 7:11 PM Author: Supple Idiotic Set Tattoo
Looks legit to me, here is the WHOIS on his domain:
Domain: deshif.com
Registrant
David Shifren
deshif@optonline.net
25 West 13th Street
New York, NY 10011 US
+1.1111111111
Administrative
David Shifren
DEShif
deshif@deshif.com
25 West 13th Street
New York, NY 10011 US
+1.2063500531
+1.2063500531 (FAX)
Billing
David Shifren
DEShif
deshif@deshif.com
25 West 13th Street
New York, NY 10011 US
+1.2063500531
+1.2063500531 (FAX)
Technical
David Shifren
DEShif
deshif@deshif.com
25 West 13th Street
New York, NY 10011 US
+1.2063500531
+1.2063500531 (FAX)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296744) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 7:12 PM Author: peach rehab alpha
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296748) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 7:19 PM Author: Passionate nudist national
The funniest part is how he lists his upcoming summer associate position under his experiences.
After that, its his schedule that takes the cake. This guy is so damn self important that he has to post his class schedule online!!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296814) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 7:26 PM Author: irradiated location
But for something that reeks of prestige, that's not exactly the most prestigous of firms.
And nobody cares what Harvard would do, you cunt.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296877) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 7:27 PM Author: exciting haunting casino regret
This board is filled with many vicious people. Even "respected" posters like rk982 and hanna jumped on the bully bandwagon. Pathetic.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296882) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 7:29 PM Author: Bossy Station Stain Subject: THE SCHIFREN STORY
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296903) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 8:07 PM Author: black duck-like lay main people
absurd defense of a tool - check
excessively logical style of argumentation - check
egregious self-promotion ("nice guy") - check
use of the phrase "subject of the debate" - check
Hi David.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297274) |
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Date: March 11th, 2005 1:51 PM Author: Diverse sexy den goyim
"I think this guy is lucky he's a genius..."
Wait, back up. How do we know he's a genius? The Mensa membership? National Merit Finalist? The years working for his father? What?
I've seen absolutely no evidence of that?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308401) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 8:37 PM Author: Abusive circlehead
"he constantly raises his hand and has one of the worst speech impediments ive ever heard. it often takes him minutes to get out a word becuase of his stuttering problem."
Holy shit, I think I sat in on a Con Law class at Penn last year with this dude. It was the day he was called on. I was stunned.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297493) |
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Date: March 11th, 2005 9:34 PM Author: Nighttime office Subject: ::passes out in shock::
Oh my god. It's like the three most annoying people I know combined into one.
My sympathies to all at Penn.
At some level I feel bad for the guy, clearly teased a lot early on in life and is compensating a hell of a lot to make up for it. Unfortunately this compensation only leads to more ridiculing for being a total weirdo.
On another level, we've all been made fun of in life. And plenty of people do not turn into completely socially inept people because of it. In fact, sometimes the most well adjusted people I know where teased a lot in grade school. So that's no excuse.
And frankly, on a personal level, I have been the recipient of strange creepy guys hitting on me and it's no fun. So if he's stalking people I have a serious problem with that.
Reasons not to attend Penn...:-p
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2311750) |
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Date: March 24th, 2005 1:46 AM Author: blue wrinkle church building
This kid sounds like the equivalent of a 1L at Vanderbilt who is often referred to as "the dragon."
edit: but with more tact.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394021) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 7:33 PM Author: Laughsome Resort Deer Antler
Isn't 'Shifren' a Jewish name?
Jewish mafia, do something about this!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2296932) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 7:44 PM Author: Azure domesticated multi-billionaire
Uh, check out the Onion link. I think that is him in the satin shirt. LOL
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297046) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 8:06 PM Author: black duck-like lay main people
This Deshif guy has proven to me that not only does God have a sense of humor, He's actually a cynical bastard. Keep up the good work, oh Lord of Heaven.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297258) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 8:19 PM Author: Heady stag film filthpig
What's the only part of his busy schedule he doesn't report here: http://www.deshif.com/Cal0000.htm ??
His weekly NAMBLA meetings. Look at this picture: http://www.deshif.com/david.jpg He'd be perfect in NRA-style "I am NAMBLA" advertisements.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297359) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 8:24 PM Author: orange embarrassed to the bone business firm
I knew this guy at Duke - not well, but I took some classes with him and majored in a similar, overlapping field.
There are two types of nerds: those who are quiet, nice-guy nerds (with whom I have no problem, and often befriend, even) and those who are aggressive, obnoxious, arrogant nerds (e.g. Bill Gates). This guy is in the second class.
It's kind of TTT to do this to the poor guy, though.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297401) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 8:37 PM Author: Razzmatazz Federal Halford
I was there too... Unfortunately, what dickcheese posted was 100% accurate.
You just had to see it... He literally jumped out of his seat and was standing in front of the auctioneer waving his paddle around and around. It was insane.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297489) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 8:41 PM Author: Razzmatazz Federal Halford
She wasn't there, she just donated the item. Dunno what her reaction to this is, but like dickcheese said above, I'd be pretty freaked out. I don't even know if DeShif is going to bring 3 people with him or if he's just going to go alone with her.
The audience was laughing, but it was very uneasy... I mean, it's kind of like how a lot of people reacted to the J cutting herself thing from that xo thread the other day... The whole situation was pretty funny but when you realize that he isn't playing and is 100% serious, it kind of freaks you out after the fact.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297529) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 8:28 PM Author: sadistic spectacular theater stage boistinker
Edit:
I'm starting to feel bad.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297429) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 8:32 PM Author: Razzmatazz Federal Halford
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!
Unbelievable, simply unbelievable... From the tux, to the U.S. Supreme Court bar, to the AOL URL...
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297465) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 8:58 PM Author: Hyperventilating crusty pistol
Link from above:
http://members.aol.com/shiflaw/
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297688) |
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Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:36 PM Author: Excitant point
Damn that's funny.
I love the guy's pic on the right. What a fag.
This confirms it: douchebaggery is genetic.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391196) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 8:44 PM Author: peach rehab alpha
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297558) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 8:53 PM Author: Supple Idiotic Set Tattoo
initially i thought that reading this would do him some good. (as i posted above, i was a pretty big dork in HS, simply because i was just so unaware of social norms and my social image. getting picked on honestly did wonders for my life since then)
but in my experience there are just some kids that dont get it and dont care. the type of guys that you might invite to sit with you at lunch or invite out for a beer just to make an effort to include them, but they turn out to be even weirder than you expected. the guy obviously enjoys his life and is proud of his accomplishments. i cant imagine him reading this thread and being enlightened on the one hand or emotionally hurt on the other.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297623) |
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Date: March 10th, 2005 9:32 AM Author: Charismatic temple
He probably googles himself on a regular basis. If xoxo threads turn up in google, he'll find it himself.
I just googled him on my own, and he's listed as the treasurer of the Golden Key at Hunter. 2003.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300319) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 8:50 PM Author: Brass startling university
It's not very "Bush team leader" of him to travel to red Cuba and spend his Euros there!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297607) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 8:55 PM Author: Cracking Kitty
$1000 vegas
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2297648) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 11:25 PM Author: umber stage weed whacker
i know the entire family pretty well, though i'm certainly not friends with david.
give him a break. he's been taking shit his whole life.
and don't bring the dad into it. shitty website or not, take it from me, the guy's pretty fucking successful.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298755) |
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Date: March 11th, 2005 2:14 PM Author: shimmering forum
Listen, this guy brings shit upon himself by creating a website like and by out-biding himself for a picnic. If he get's picked on because of his actions, it's his own fault.
I actually started to feel sorry for this guy until I read his sense of self importance. There are likeable nerds but this guy isn't one of them. So, if he gets picked on... oh well. That said, he'll probably have the last laugh after he explodes and goes postal on all of us.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308609) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 11:33 PM Author: Bearded internet-worthy volcanic crater
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298802) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 11:45 PM Author: Bateful costumed masturbator senate
This reminds me of the good 'ol days of XOXO.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298899) |
Date: March 9th, 2005 11:48 PM Author: Bonkers center mad-dog skullcap
-
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2298916) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 12:52 AM Author: Charcoal arousing persian reading party Subject: Holy Crap, it's David Shifren!
I went to college with this guy. He was notorious on campus for being the biggest nerd at the entire school. I can't say I really ever talked to him, but he was a total tool.
1. I know of at least two girls that had to get restraining orders against him because he stalked them. He would wait outside their dorms for them every day, all day. No social graces, couldn't figure out that just because a girl smiled at you in class does not make her your new best friend.
2. I saw him on Halloween one year wearing a cheerleading outfit. Keep in mind, he's at least 70 pounds overweight. And he wasn't the funny fat kid in a group of friends doing it to be funny. It was very creepy.
3. As others have noted, he's the arrogant, aggressive, supernerd. We all hated him.
4. I don't know if he got kicked out of school for stalking, but it certainly wouldn't surprise me. His picture isn't in the class yearbook, and he's not listed in the online alumni directory.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2299290) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 1:29 AM Author: peach rehab alpha
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2299554) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 6:38 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle cuckold locale
I find it strange that this kid's apparently a big ol' federalist but is also in "journal of law and social change" (sounds liberal) and STREET LAW.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300222) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 7:13 AM Author: floppy mediation
You are such asses. I met this guy a couple of weeks ago, and he seems fine in real life. Give him a break.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300239) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 7:26 AM Author: Marvelous Theatre
As soon as he finds out about all of this he's definitely adding "The Most Prestigious Admissions Board in the World" to the "featured in" section of his CV.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300243) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 7:33 AM Author: Aromatic spot
Wow. I thought UVA's republican nerdy guy who everbody knows who has a website was sort of toolish, but he looks like Miles Davis compared to Mr. Shif.
I don't know why I posted this, as I won't say who the UVA guy is, so don't bother asking.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300245) |
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Date: March 10th, 2005 7:56 AM Author: Aromatic spot
Oh, and whether there was any doubt that this is really him putting up the site, well, I think it runs in the family
http://members.aol.com/shiflaw/
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300257) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 8:38 AM Author: Brilliant Boyish Gas Station Milk
This person is a classic example of why all schools should REQUIRE interviews before offering admission.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300268) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 8:51 AM Author: aphrodisiac pit genital piercing
lmao...wow. really. wow. nobody else puts MIDDLE SCHOOL or sophomore year of high school "honors" on their stuff, right? and is a link to "Spanish" in "Proficient in Spanish - verbal and written communication" really necessary?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300278) |
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Date: March 10th, 2005 10:43 AM Author: onyx slippery indian lodge Subject: I cant believe
Im sorry... I'm really still in disbelief that people like this actually exist. What happens to them? ARe these the kind of people who become famously successful? I have to assume no way... but I actually think his resume is preety fucking prestigious.
Nonetheless, I'm sure he scores in the bottom 10th percentile on all standardized social skill tests. He reminds me of that guy in office space, milton.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300493) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 10:56 AM Author: judgmental vibrant ticket booth
You guys, I am a NATIONAL AP SCHOLAR WITH DISTINCTION and I didn't put that anywhere in my applications. Am I screwed?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300549) |
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Date: March 11th, 2005 12:35 PM Author: judgmental vibrant ticket booth
I just had to turn in the proposal (four pages plus preliminary bibliography) and he ate it up, gave me an A, and said it is a wonderful and unique topic.
I can only assume that Peen Law Review is in my future, but seriously, thanks. ;)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2307844) |
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Date: March 11th, 2005 1:56 PM Author: spruce athletic conference
That's an interesting typo.
GL.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308444) |
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Date: March 11th, 2005 2:26 PM Author: judgmental vibrant ticket booth
Their desire to sleep with members of the adcomm.
That's what I wrote my law one on. ;)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2308720) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 11:09 AM Author: Fragrant azn locus
check out the link to his father's law firm...
http://members.aol.com/shiflaw/
who puts a picture of themselves like that up on their professional site.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300609) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 12:30 PM Author: garnet curious field
You guys are just jealous... My resume is more prestigous than yours, my father is more presitgous than yours, and the girl that I stalk and will one day be my girlfriend is more prestigous than your girlfriend.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2300788) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 2:31 PM Author: electric avocado hell liquid oxygen
I'm not going to make fun of this guy because he's just emblematic of the Republican Party (David Shifren = New School Karl Rove) and Long Island as a whole.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2301466) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 2:49 PM Author: Seedy 180 native
You think Shitren carries business cards with him?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2301563) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 7:24 PM Author: clear trip dragon
LOL. THIS GUY IS A FAGGOT. I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE CLASSES WITH HIM THOUGH. NON STOP COMEDY EVERY DAY. LOL
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2303187) |
Date: March 10th, 2005 7:32 PM Author: talented associate whorehouse
i'm surprised to see people bashing LeBoeuf
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2303231) |
Date: March 11th, 2005 10:42 PM Author: emerald abode depressive
I feel bad for the poor guy. So he is a big nerd and he is annoying. I get it.
I would be mortified if I went on the internet and read hundreds of messages making fun of me. No one deserves that sort of public humiliation, no matter how much of a nerd they are. I say it's time to call off the hounds.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2312190) |
Date: March 23rd, 2005 3:26 PM Author: ocher corner
bump
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2388651) |
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Date: March 23rd, 2005 4:25 PM Author: dull pontificating state
check out his pic w/ Ari Fleischer on his website.
Edit: Is that real silk? http://www.deshif.com/pix/ARI.JPG
(probably right after meeting Ari: riding the goat - http://www.deshif.com/pix/B10.jpg
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2389187) |
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Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:00 PM Author: Sepia Cruise Ship Corn Cake
"Hello 911...There is a douchebag harrasing Judge Jones and some of her interns..."
http://www.deshif.com/pix/BSJ1.JPG
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2389993) |
Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:47 PM Author: Stirring olive mental disorder sanctuary Subject: are you sure?
Ombudsman,
Please view this picture that he VOLUNTARILY posted on his website: http://www.deshif.com/pix/B10.jpg (and recently mentioned above)...
Do you still contend that "No one deserves that sort of public humiliation, no matter how much of a nerd they are."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390332)
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Date: March 23rd, 2005 6:48 PM Author: Bright shitlib pervert Subject: wow
does this poor guy even know he's getting totally owned on xoxo by now? somebody must have told him.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2390345) |
Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:47 PM Author: Histrionic travel guidebook
Oh man, I think I've passed his father's law practice in Hicksville. The one I'm thinking of has its phone number in huge gold numbers on the front of the building, so I'll have to pay more attention the next time I pass it. It's right near where LILCO was, so I think that could be it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391312) |
Date: March 23rd, 2005 8:48 PM Author: at-the-ready degenerate church Subject: Computer Science
When I first saw that photo, I thought to myself "computer science." Then I scrolled down the page and . . .
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2391320) |
Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:30 PM Author: flesh garrison idiot Subject: I'm touched...
... that everyone seems to find my site so hilarious.
1. Yes, the site is real. I'm real. And I'm really DEShif himself. (To prove it's me, here's the IM I got from Jim Adler: Mr Jim Adler (7:12:27 PM): You seriously have got to be the biggest tool I have ever come across in my life. Your resume is pathetic and the fact that you list the things that you do on your away message is just sad.)
2. Neither "xeris" nor "David Shifren" are me. I just found about this forum (and, indeed, this site) tonight when someone posted to my site's forum.
3. The story about my bidding for $950 for picnic with Struve is true. I did have a group lined up (although not at that price). And it has nothing to do with her looks or gender and everything to do with market competition. You may recall I also bought events with Profs. Roosevelt, Persily, Parchomovsky, and Prichett (all male). The only reason I spent $950 for this one was because a group of 1Ls bid up to $900.
4. The rumors about expulsion from Duke, restraining orders, or any stalking at all are utterly untrue. Ask the admissions office if you don't believe me - they've seen my records.
5. The photo of Judge Jones' chambers really are the clerks and interns. At the time it was taken, I was the only male in the office. And, no, that's not why I took the job!
6. Yes, the hot body championships are true. And, yes, I won them despite (or perhaps due to?) my being fat and ugly.
7. This online resume isn't the same as my actual, paper resume. That one is one page and omits almost all of the minor things which are on the online resume. This one is much more comprehensive and (perhaps exhaustively) detailed.
8. Finally, the purpose behind the event calendar and schedule is twofold: first, for my own convenience - I don't have a PDA and secondly, because my friends (yes, I do have friends!) sometimes use it to see what's going on, what classes I'm taking, or when I'm free.
9. The Cuba trip was legal (and quite fun) - I had Treasury Dept. permission through the law school to conduct academic research.
10. Finally, despite what many on the board have speculated, I am neither gay nor a virgin (although, admittedly, I am single). And, in response to your next question, I've never used a prostitute.
Let me know if you have any other questions. :)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392604) |
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Date: March 24th, 2005 12:29 AM Author: Carnelian Half-breed Elastic Band
Dear Mr. Shifren,
Upon examining your resume, my advisors and I have concluded that I am more prestigious than you. While you have achieved some prestigiousness in your day, you simply do not rival the glorious elitism that is 174. HTH.
Please update your resume's "Recognition" section to reflect that I responded to your post, as this surely constitutes prestigious recognition.
Feel free to ask for advice if you ever need help not being a TTT.
Gloriously elite,
174
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393269) |
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Date: March 24th, 2005 12:45 AM Author: Self-absorbed hideous range selfie
"Please update your resume's "Recognition" section to reflect that I responded to your post, as this surely constitutes prestigious recognition"
Yes. 180.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393429) |
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Date: March 24th, 2005 12:47 AM Author: Carnelian Half-breed Elastic Band
*bows*
I have racked up two 180's tonight. This is unprecedented.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2393449) |
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Date: March 24th, 2005 1:43 AM Author: mustard bespoke scourge upon the earth
Hey douchebag,
I actually found this funny. Well done. Finally youre getting the hang of utilizing your schtick in an effective manner. Keep it up, and Ill refrain from embarassing you.
Hugs and Kisses,
YOUREANIDIOT
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394007) |
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Date: March 24th, 2005 2:36 AM Author: Carnelian Half-breed Elastic Band
Thanks for the vote of confidence- I just had to work out the kinks.
I sure am glad you're done "embarassing" me!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394464) |
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Date: March 24th, 2005 5:12 PM Author: snowy elite psychic factory reset button Subject: please grow up
Greetings.
Making fun of others is fine. We all do it.
It is extremely cowardly, however, to do so anonymously, hiding behind the cloak of a website.
Thus, I present a real, working email address:
adamspamguard-autoadmit@yahoo.com
[Of course, this is a temporary address, I can keep it as long (or short) as I want. But for now it goes straight to my inbox]
Anyway. I strongly recommend that many of you think long and hard about your desire and readiness for law school. These types of baseless attacks simply are not welcome within these halls.
If nothing else, please do not come to Penn. You won't fit in and we won't accept these types of attitudes and behaviors.
And in the future, if you have something to say, please at least attach a name and email.
--Adam
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2398319) |
Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:33 PM Author: Cyan piazza
This douche misspelled "university" on his TTTSHITEATINGFAGGOT resume!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392639) |
Date: March 23rd, 2005 11:48 PM Author: Cream Stage Roommate
be nice, he's a really nice, smart guy. just dorky. he was in my freshman dorm.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2392806) |
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Date: March 24th, 2005 1:47 AM Author: slate mood Subject: You're all fucked.
I know David from another school he went to. Yes, he sat in the front and raised his hand, and yes he would often annoy the teacher, and yes it took him a little while to get his words out and yes he was akward with girls and akward in general.
However, he has a good heart. He is a good guy. He is never mean, always positive and if he comes off arrogant sometimes, well re-read the aforegoing posts and ask yourself why someone who is constantly made fun of might act like that. I wasn't his best friend, or really knew him, but someone told me of this post today and we all talked about why it was sad that there were so many immature children who could not be supportive of those around them who might be challenged in one way or another. Maybe sometimes people paint targets on themselves, but who are we to hurl shit at them.
I wish David the best of luck. I think he should, if he is reading this, understand that people are jealous, in the case of these posts, it pervades their comments, and finally David, all of us at Cardozo think well of you and wish you the best.
Fuck these people and keep growing, you'll learn what you need to, God knows you are smart enough to get there. Be yourself. Find your way. Keep your head up. Most importantly, don't listen to the negativity. Good Luck.
Paul Perkins
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2394023) |
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Date: March 24th, 2005 6:00 PM Author: up-to-no-good pearl striped hyena Subject: what I have learned from this thread
1. the future of the justice system will be in the hands of many childish, hateful misfits who have nothing better to do than attempt to destroy the self-esteem of an accomplished human being.
2. Posting enormous amounts of personal information online is an invariable risk and makes you vulnerable to such scrutiny.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2398608) |
Date: March 24th, 2005 6:57 PM Author: Institution Becky
why does his phone number have a seattle area code?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#2398956) |
Date: June 18th, 2005 2:30 AM Author: Turquoise Adventurous Twinkling Uncleanness
http://www.deshif.com/pix/P4130076.JPG
bwahahahaha. Funniest pic yet.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3046404) |
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Date: June 20th, 2005 4:08 PM Author: Grizzly faggot firefighter Subject: David Shifren
Hi, my name is Carol, and I've been friends with Dave since high school. Rather, he has been a good friend to me for almost the last 10 years, despite my immaturity throughout most of the time period. For a very long time, I was an utter douchebag who thought that popularity mattered and Dave was strange, so I wasn't a very good friend to him. (Dave, please consider this my official apology.)
Dave has stuck by me through thick and thin all of these years. He has been a thoughtful, kind, and generous friend and a great listener. He is an intelligent, patient person who gives without expecting anything in return from others. Whenever someone pokes fun at him, he takes it in stride and is never mean to the offending party. The rest of us can learn a lot from him.
More about me: Right now I'm in business school in the DC area. Usually I'm pretty normal and boring (http://photos1.blogger.com/img/63/3838/1024/IMG_1058.jpg ) but sometimes I can be silly and cool like Dave (http://photos1.blogger.com/img/63/3838/1024/IMG_0018.jpg ).
If any of you douchebags out there want to sling insults at me for defending my friend, feel free. Your puerile stupidity amuses me.
Carol
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#3065652) |
Date: December 19th, 2005 3:26 AM Author: new version
LOL BUMP
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4605993) |
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Date: December 19th, 2005 4:46 AM Author: Cocky
"LEGAL EXPERIENCE
LeBoeuf, Lamb, Greene & MacRae LLP, New York, New York - Summer Associate, Summer 2005."
pwn3d
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4606364) |
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Date: December 19th, 2005 9:11 PM Author: insane coffee pot Subject: "Education"
Duke University
nuff said.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4612748) |
Date: December 19th, 2005 10:11 PM Author: people who are hurt jewess
OH MY FUCKING GOD ALL MIGHTY!!!!! This has to be one of the best threads EVER! Still, after Davids response....he seems like a perfectly well adjusted, kind, if awkward feller. I for one support him despite his extreme lack of social skills. If you will allow me:
Life is tough, as tough can be
But David you can count on thee
to pull yourself from deep dispair
and rise above, and make it there
Your talents wide, and varied are
with a little hope, youll be a star
just make sure to love yourself
and lose some weight, if for your health
your wit is keen, and lsat high
your memory strong, you are not shy
your breast is large, to hold your heart
which beats in rhythm, it does its part
and despite what these losers say
nay never forget that though you may
display the douchbaggery most high and hard
you can allways play the lexis card
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4613300) |
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Date: December 20th, 2005 12:56 AM Author: ebony chest-beating private investor
rock on dave!
Also, did you guys notice he attended the Institute for Justice law student conference?
He's a libertarian to boot. I don't care what his persona is (which doesn't seem all that bad). If he uses his intellectual talents and ambitions to further the cause of liberty MORE POWER TO HIM.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4615203) |
Date: December 20th, 2005 3:06 AM Author: fluffy
Vicious satire is not 'hatred'. Teacher's pets have always been ridiculed, so no sympathy should be expected. . .
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4616610) |
Date: December 20th, 2005 2:37 PM Author: amethyst balding affirmative action
In keeping with Penn's employed at graduation rate, he must be working at like 3 firms simultaneously by now.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4619677) |
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Date: January 16th, 2006 5:07 PM Author: crawly Subject: I saw this loser in Cancun
Over Christmas break I saw this loser dancing his fat ass off in a cancun nightclub (by himself of course). I even asked him was he a Penn law student to be sure, he asked "what have I done?" I said I was a 3L and recognized him. Meanwhile I had to come up with a lie so explain to my friends why I was talking to this loser.
I'll say this, the boy ain't shy...
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4833722) |
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Date: January 18th, 2006 10:44 AM Author: crawly
I didn't notice the 40 friends, but I wasn't looking for them either.
I felt like I was in the presence of a celebrity. Lowly ole me watching DeShif groove on the corner of the stage. I thought DeShif only existed in my dreams. I was starstruck watching you move those meaty hips to the beat of the music. If only I had internet access that night my friends and I could have celebrated our chance encounter with xoxo royalty. Instead all I heard was "What the fuck are you doing talking to that guy." I even was going to take a photo of you with a couple of the girls we were with, but they were worried about you dripping sweat on them.
I do have a healthy measure of respect for DeShif, any dude willing to get up on the DJ stage and dance by himself is cool by me. You, Mr. DeShif, have enough balls for 8 normal men. I salute you.
By the way, there were a ton of young hotties there that night, I trust you did not go home alone.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4847309) |
Date: January 17th, 2006 4:09 PM Author: disrespectful thirsty laser beams boiling water
You guys have problems. This guy seems fine. You guys, on the other hand, look pathetic.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4840997) |
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Date: January 17th, 2006 6:49 PM Author: anal menage hunting ground
whatever, this fat retarded dumbfuck is the kind of fat retarded dumbfuck that gives lawyers, republicans, Americans and white males a bad name.
Shockingly, this idiot hasn't even been compared to who he is most like. Even though, as I recall, there is a photo with him with the dude.
Karl Rove was close, but Rove at least is an architect, a strategic thinker that can assess avenues and devise tactics to negotiate them toward success.
This fat dumbass is more like Ken Starr than anyone else. His claim to fame: examining Bill Clintons spooge marks. This heeb is well on his way.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4842429) |
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Date: January 17th, 2006 7:06 PM Author: disrespectful thirsty laser beams boiling water
Who are you talking about? That kid is just a law student. Where are you getting all this shit?
You have problems.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4842563) |
Date: January 18th, 2006 10:54 AM Author: Yellow deep double fault
he seems like a perfectly decent guy. and GTO -- our "director of educational services" -- ridiculing someone for credential puffery is ridiculously ironic.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#4847345) |
Date: March 5th, 2006 2:32 AM Author: dun fanboi
bump
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=146685&forum_id=2#5251207) |
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