My wife filed for divorce today. Got home, her stuff is gone.
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: January 12th, 2011 8:29 PM Author: Dead Temple
I am shell shocked. We were having problems, but I had no idea we were close to here.
I called her parents house and she was there. Her mom said she wants a few days to go by before we speak.
Worst. Day. Ever.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17039961) |
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Date: January 12th, 2011 8:40 PM Author: mewling blue shrine messiness
She sounds like a quitter brother.
Not to add to your problems, but I find it very strange that she just packed up, left, and filed for divorce in this fluid motion, like it's a one-sided endeavor.
Has she said the D-word before - and seriously?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17040095) |
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Date: January 12th, 2011 8:54 PM Author: mewling blue shrine messiness
Was/is your Dad a heartless, abusive bastard?
I find this to be the only reason to just up and leave.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17040264)
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Date: January 12th, 2011 8:42 PM Author: Awkward galvanic dilemma telephone
If this is for real, I'm sorry.
But contrary to what is going on in the discussion below, this doesnt sound to me like it came out of nowhere. It sounds like you being unhappy was really making her unhappy and she decided if she cant get you to change she has to move on.
I'm not sure how appropriate this is, but it would be really really shitty to be married to someone who valued work over me in terms of time, but who also hated work and was miserable doing.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17040138) |
Date: January 12th, 2011 9:06 PM Author: irradiated theater coldplay fan
You don't have kids with this woman. If on a scale of 1 - 10, she < 8.5, then she did you a huge favor.
It sux in the short term, though. Laziness yields butthurt, i.e., you don't wanna have to go out and find a new woman, particularly one that's aesthetically pleasing (no easy task ITC).
Alas, I've been in your shoes. Think of it this way, in one year, you won't even care about this.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17040371) |
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Date: January 12th, 2011 9:15 PM Author: Honey-headed parlour electric furnace
I think there is. My marriage has been rocky as well and we have gone to the brink before at least twice.
Moving out, however, is a step I never went through. That said, anything is possible and you have to make the effort if you still love her.
Now, if you are done with her shit, then you might just say fuck it.
Oh, wait, does she have a job? Or are you about to get alimony pwned?
ALSO: as the dude above says, no matter what happens you will move on and find someone else. Things will get better.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17040466)
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Date: January 13th, 2011 1:33 AM Author: Racy Immigrant
of course
it's just the first step
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17042631)
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Date: January 12th, 2011 9:24 PM Author: fiercely-loyal piazza athletic conference
Buddy of mine's wife moved out and said she was filing for divorce. The next day she died in a car accident. That was a year ago, he remarried on new years eve (tacky, I know). New wife is much cooler.
Moral: pray that your wife is smitten and you get to keep your stuff and collect the life insurance
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17040568) |
Date: January 12th, 2011 9:30 PM Author: lilac national security agency
get a PI
edit: I'm not a lawyer
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17040619) |
Date: January 12th, 2011 9:44 PM Author: dashing state
:/
If you have Netflix streaming, watch Penny Serenade.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17040732) |
Date: January 12th, 2011 10:07 PM Author: electric rusted useless brakes
Either she's kind of spoiled and flaky and not very loyal or there's more to the story, or possibly both. I mean maybe you were really being a miserable bitter asshole about your job. Did you feel like she was making you do it and resent her for it?
Otherwise, people who commit to marriage are supposed to stick through tough times. The economy sucks and she should have been glad you were working for your future together. Saying "just quit your job" is really not realistic.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17040930) |
Date: January 12th, 2011 10:21 PM Author: beta center degenerate
I would quit immediately and get a PD job or some shit.
If you're miserable now, you'll be twice as miserable taking home half.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17041049) |
Date: January 12th, 2011 10:21 PM Author: lime hall wrinkle
I'm going to echo a lot of the posters above who say that she's selfish, unsupportive and disloyal.
Either that, or the OP didn't have the emotional intelligence to figure out that things were really at the breaking point with her/there's something he's not telling us about the situation. I also agree that many women will talk about this kind of thing with their girlfriends/family and that the husband is often the last to know.
I saw more than one marriage split up like this, even back in law school. It's not always the wife that leaves the husband, either. Sometimes it's the non-law husband that leaves the lawyer wife.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17041053) |
Date: January 13th, 2011 1:39 AM Author: Curious School
I know this is flame, but if this was real life and you were actually my bud, I would agree with the general consensus that you dodged a bullet here and will be enjoying an s.o. upgrade in a matter of months, not years. Assuming you both wanted kids, she was going to be a disaster of a mother. If she was too selfish to 1) watch a few more episodes of top chef while you were stuck at work, 2) listen to you/prompt you to bitch a little when you get home from work, 3) come up with ideas of things to do in your free time together that would put you in a better mood/make you more tolerable to be around, then she was a shitty wife. Period.
My wife went through a period like this when I was a second/third year in biglaw, but she cut that shit out around the time our friends started having kids and her biological clock started ticking loudly. She realized that my job was an important component of our major goals for our life. And any non-retard who married a lawyer our age and who genuinely loves the person would of course do the same.
During that period--which was within the first year after we were married--I often worried that we would eventually divorce, and I was always certain that as soon as it happened I would be giddy to hit on and fuck other women and rub her nose in it as much as possible if she continued to carry on that way until it ended our marriage. I know the initial shock would be awful if she sprung it on you like the OP, but it shouldn't be hard to recognize that she sucks and you can do better.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17042648) |
Date: January 13th, 2011 11:54 AM Author: Disrespectful garnet principal's office
she sounds crazy, probably for the better.
In normal circumstances I feel like you would have saw this coming but the fact that it seemed out of the blue really makes this situation off putting. Sounds really passive aggresive, she sounds gross, ugh.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17044212) |
Date: January 13th, 2011 8:43 PM Author: Dead Temple
UPDATE: Got a call from a mutual friend. Wife is fucking someone from work.
I am even more shocked now than I was yesterday. FUCK ME!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17048633) |
Date: January 13th, 2011 9:39 PM Author: flesh angry philosopher-king
Just to echo everything that has been said, "she did you a favor, bro."
Let the pain set in for a while. Enjoy it, because it will be the lowest point of your life. The weekend is here, so it is time to start planning your next vacay. I am thinking you should go get some international pussy. Doesn't matter if it is paid for or not. It is like shooting fish in a barrel there. Enjoy this moment, because you got a second chance.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17049093) |
Date: January 15th, 2011 12:20 PM Author: Dead Temple
We finally talked. She admited that she is seeing someone, but claims that isn't what caused this.
She talked to me totally devoid of emotion. It was like talking to a fucking robot.
Heartless cunt.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17059532) |
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Date: January 15th, 2011 12:29 PM Author: canary codepig lettuce
"She admited that she is seeing someone"
Fuck her. She's heartless because she's running to something. Not from something.
Now's the time to tell your parents. EVERYONE is going to be on your side.
Update your fucking facebook with this info. Be classy and wish her well. Don't be bitter, be better...just lay it all out for everyone to see. Her friends will even drop her over this horrible behavior.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17059573) |
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Date: January 15th, 2011 12:32 PM Author: Dead Temple
I already told my parents about her leaving. I have yet to tell them about the cheating.
I'm not doing any of that FB shit. Her friends will find out she cheated in due time. I'm sure she'll paint it as I abandoned her or some shit. I honestly don't care.
I'm done with her.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17059584) |
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Date: January 15th, 2011 12:35 PM Author: Sooty trailer park
this is the healthy and credited response / use her infidelity as a negotiating tool in the divorce settlement.
now you need to go out and plow a bit
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17059605) |
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Date: January 15th, 2011 12:37 PM Author: Sooty trailer park
actually it would be a bad idea to keep the house
I assume you were married while in law school? then (at least under NY law) she can claim to have supported you at that time and take a share of all future law earnings.
this is bad.
much better to give her house now in exchange for declaiming your future legal income
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17059619) |
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Date: January 15th, 2011 12:49 PM Author: Sooty trailer park
this is being drug up from the depths of barbri 07, but can't she claim to have supported him during his legal education while she (sucked dick to) sling pharmaceuticals?
Wouldn't that entitle her to claim against his legal income?
Where does the 2 year rule come in?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17059676) |
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Date: January 15th, 2011 12:55 PM Author: canary codepig lettuce
He's made more in the last 2 years to support and make up for the income she provided.
Add that shit up. Who's to say he didn't take out loans or have his parents pay for school?
I doubt she paid his tuition.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17059716) |
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Date: January 15th, 2011 1:01 PM Author: canary codepig lettuce
Most states don't recognize causation.
All flame...I'm sure.
Who fucking cheats on their husband and goes to stay with their parents while having a new BF?
Nobody.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1534278&forum_id=2#17059769) |
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