i wrote the lonely hunter thread, and here's why
| disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | cowardly thriller background story | 01/17/11 | | cowardly thriller background story | 01/17/11 | | gaped black woman dilemma | 01/17/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/17/11 | | vivacious ocher affirmative action indirect expression | 01/18/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/18/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/17/11 | | Well-lubricated clear locale | 01/17/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/17/11 | | Well-lubricated clear locale | 01/17/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/18/11 | | Well-lubricated clear locale | 01/18/11 | | zombie-like parlor | 02/16/11 | | cowardly thriller background story | 01/18/11 | | floppy market potus | 02/25/11 | | Pontificating pearl office | 01/17/11 | | blathering aromatic wrinkle | 01/18/11 | | demanding big station | 01/18/11 | | jet swollen scourge upon the earth | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | jet swollen scourge upon the earth | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/17/11 | | high-end multi-colored set | 01/17/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Slimy library | 01/17/11 | | apoplectic casino old irish cottage | 01/17/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/17/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/17/11 | | out-of-control cheese-eating people who are hurt | 01/18/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | jet swollen scourge upon the earth | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/17/11 | | Swashbuckling school cafeteria | 01/17/11 | | Slimy library | 01/17/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/17/11 | | Coiffed excitant kitchen volcanic crater | 01/18/11 | | autistic chestnut point striped hyena | 01/18/11 | | Histrionic shrine | 01/17/11 | | racy tantric address faggotry | 01/17/11 | | Pontificating pearl office | 01/17/11 | | Bateful frozen twinkling uncleanness national security agency | 01/17/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/17/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/17/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/17/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 01/17/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/17/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 01/17/11 | | sadistic toaster | 01/17/11 | | cowardly thriller background story | 01/18/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/17/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 01/17/11 | | Carnelian pisswyrm | 01/17/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 01/17/11 | | Mint cumskin | 01/18/11 | | Razzle-dazzle State | 11/10/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/17/11 | | Startling magenta round eye dysfunction | 01/17/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Startling magenta round eye dysfunction | 01/17/11 | | sepia nursing home halford | 01/17/11 | | Galvanic property mad cow disease | 01/18/11 | | Slimy library | 01/17/11 | | gaped black woman dilemma | 01/17/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Sable den | 01/17/11 | | floppy market potus | 01/17/11 | | high-end multi-colored set | 01/17/11 | | bisexual seedy main people | 01/17/11 | | Shimmering abnormal feces school | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | floppy market potus | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | Carnelian pisswyrm | 01/17/11 | | comical maniacal site reading party | 01/17/11 | | racy tantric address faggotry | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Histrionic shrine | 01/17/11 | | jet swollen scourge upon the earth | 01/17/11 | | sadistic toaster | 01/17/11 | | sepia nursing home halford | 01/17/11 | | Fuchsia Supple Rehab Death Wish | 01/17/11 | | Hairless Thirsty Location | 01/17/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/18/11 | | Galvanic property mad cow disease | 01/18/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/17/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/17/11 | | cowardly thriller background story | 01/17/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/17/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/17/11 | | Coiffed excitant kitchen volcanic crater | 01/18/11 | | blue space sweet tailpipe | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | blue space sweet tailpipe | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | Charismatic nubile orchestra pit athletic conference | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | blue space sweet tailpipe | 01/17/11 | | Charismatic nubile orchestra pit athletic conference | 01/17/11 | | Offensive Kink-friendly Box Office Mediation | 01/17/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/17/11 | | Aquamarine sinister elastic band trailer park | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Charismatic nubile orchestra pit athletic conference | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Aquamarine sinister elastic band trailer park | 01/17/11 | | Lake abode philosopher-king | 01/17/11 | | comical maniacal site reading party | 01/17/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 01/17/11 | | Bateful frozen twinkling uncleanness national security agency | 01/17/11 | | peach odious incel | 01/17/11 | | Lake abode philosopher-king | 01/18/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/18/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 01/17/11 | | Pontificating pearl office | 01/17/11 | | floppy market potus | 01/17/11 | | Charismatic nubile orchestra pit athletic conference | 01/17/11 | | Well-lubricated clear locale | 01/17/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/17/11 | | Well-lubricated clear locale | 01/17/11 | | Charismatic nubile orchestra pit athletic conference | 01/18/11 | | Well-lubricated clear locale | 01/18/11 | | Startling magenta round eye dysfunction | 01/17/11 | | Cyan stage | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 01/18/11 | | Startling magenta round eye dysfunction | 01/18/11 | | Mint cumskin | 01/18/11 | | Slippery fear-inspiring senate | 01/17/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/17/11 | | Slippery fear-inspiring senate | 01/17/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/18/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 01/17/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/18/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/18/11 | | Aquamarine sinister elastic band trailer park | 01/17/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/17/11 | | Slippery fear-inspiring senate | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/17/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter | 01/17/11 | | razzmatazz misunderstood national fat ankles | 02/16/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/17/11 | | Well-lubricated clear locale | 01/18/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 01/17/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/17/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 01/17/11 | | sadistic toaster | 01/18/11 | | beady-eyed greedy pit | 01/18/11 | | Aphrodisiac Police Squad | 01/17/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/17/11 | | peach odious incel | 01/18/11 | | Aquamarine sinister elastic band trailer park | 01/17/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/18/11 | | Provocative Wagecucks Becky | 01/18/11 | | Sick menage | 01/17/11 | | Charismatic nubile orchestra pit athletic conference | 01/17/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/17/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 01/17/11 | | Sick menage | 01/18/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 01/18/11 | | Insecure spot jap | 01/18/11 | | soul-stirring resort | 01/17/11 | | Sick menage | 01/18/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/18/11 | | Citrine temple | 01/18/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/18/11 | | Citrine temple | 01/18/11 | | Pontificating pearl office | 01/18/11 | | Cyan stage | 01/18/11 | | Shimmering abnormal feces school | 01/18/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/18/11 | | Sick menage | 01/18/11 | | sepia nursing home halford | 01/18/11 | | Self-centered lay patrolman | 01/18/11 | | floppy market potus | 01/18/11 | | Lake abode philosopher-king | 01/17/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 01/18/11 | | Lake abode philosopher-king | 01/18/11 | | soul-stirring resort | 01/18/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 01/18/11 | | soul-stirring resort | 01/18/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 01/18/11 | | soul-stirring resort | 01/18/11 | | Heady crawly theater stage | 01/18/11 | | soul-stirring resort | 01/18/11 | | Coiffed excitant kitchen volcanic crater | 01/18/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 01/18/11 | | sepia nursing home halford | 01/18/11 | | apoplectic casino old irish cottage | 01/18/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/18/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/18/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/18/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/18/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/18/11 | | diverse crotch dragon | 01/18/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 01/18/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/18/11 | | soul-stirring resort | 01/18/11 | | Aquamarine sinister elastic band trailer park | 01/18/11 | | soul-stirring resort | 01/18/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/18/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/18/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/18/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/18/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 01/18/11 | | Razzle-dazzle State | 01/18/11 | | soul-stirring resort | 01/18/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/18/11 | | soul-stirring resort | 01/18/11 | | Razzle bull headed piazza | 01/18/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 01/18/11 | | beta buck-toothed idiot step-uncle's house | 01/18/11 | | Adventurous mauve windowlicker yarmulke | 01/18/11 | | Lake abode philosopher-king | 01/18/11 | | Adventurous mauve windowlicker yarmulke | 01/18/11 | | Gay effete pervert house | 01/18/11 | | beta buck-toothed idiot step-uncle's house | 01/18/11 | | Duck-like base psychic | 01/18/11 | | Gay effete pervert house | 01/18/11 | | boyish gaping | 01/18/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 01/18/11 | | Razzle-dazzle State | 01/18/11 | | Coiffed excitant kitchen volcanic crater | 01/18/11 | | autistic chestnut point striped hyena | 01/18/11 | | Pontificating pearl office | 01/18/11 | | Razzle-dazzle State | 02/25/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 05/24/11 | | Razzle-dazzle State | 11/10/11 | | Hairraiser Deep Area Cuckoldry | 11/10/11 | | Cyan stage | 01/18/11 | | Marvelous Lilac Corner | 01/18/11 | | Carnelian pisswyrm | 01/18/11 | | Flesh quadroon rigor | 01/18/11 | | Drab vigorous skinny woman | 01/18/11 | | Drab vigorous skinny woman | 01/18/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 01/18/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/18/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 01/18/11 | | beady-eyed greedy pit | 01/18/11 | | Awkward dark hall | 01/18/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/18/11 | | dashing hell sandwich | 01/18/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 01/18/11 | | Turquoise depressive | 01/18/11 | | Carnelian pisswyrm | 01/18/11 | | Histrionic shrine | 01/18/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 01/18/11 | | Aquamarine sinister elastic band trailer park | 01/18/11 | | Drab vigorous skinny woman | 01/18/11 | | Aquamarine sinister elastic band trailer park | 01/18/11 | | Drab vigorous skinny woman | 01/18/11 | | Aquamarine sinister elastic band trailer park | 01/18/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/18/11 | | sepia nursing home halford | 01/18/11 | | Cobalt University | 01/18/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 01/18/11 | | concupiscible public bath | 01/18/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 01/18/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 01/18/11 | | Filthy milky kitty cat | 01/18/11 | | Useless overrated theater | 01/18/11 | | Coiffed excitant kitchen volcanic crater | 01/18/11 | | Abusive fragrant masturbator church | 01/18/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 01/18/11 | | Insecure spot jap | 01/18/11 | | Impressive hospital coldplay fan | 01/18/11 | | Insecure spot jap | 01/18/11 | | Impressive hospital coldplay fan | 01/18/11 | | Geriatric internet-worthy headpube | 01/18/11 | | Insecure spot jap | 01/18/11 | | sepia nursing home halford | 01/18/11 | | irradiated alcoholic ape lodge | 01/18/11 | | autistic chestnut point striped hyena | 01/18/11 | | concupiscible public bath | 01/18/11 | | Aquamarine sinister elastic band trailer park | 01/18/11 | | Mind-boggling meetinghouse | 01/18/11 | | Bistre Embarrassed To The Bone Bawdyhouse Coffee Pot | 01/18/11 | | vivacious ocher affirmative action indirect expression | 01/18/11 | | Sickened church building stain | 01/18/11 | | Electric Telephone Whorehouse | 01/18/11 | | Galvanic property mad cow disease | 01/18/11 | | irradiated alcoholic ape lodge | 01/18/11 | | Coiffed excitant kitchen volcanic crater | 01/18/11 | | autistic chestnut point striped hyena | 01/18/11 | | ruddy passionate ladyboy | 01/18/11 | | Laughsome startled field | 01/20/11 | | obsidian gaming laptop | 01/20/11 | | Insecure spot jap | 02/25/11 | | Amethyst cerebral digit ratio jew | 01/20/11 | | 180 avocado love of her life | 02/16/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 02/16/11 | | contagious parlour preventive strike | 02/25/11 | | floppy market potus | 02/25/11 | | Wonderful Ticket Booth Lettuce | 02/25/11 | | Insecure spot jap | 02/25/11 | | contagious parlour preventive strike | 02/25/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 02/25/11 | | contagious parlour preventive strike | 02/25/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 02/25/11 | | contagious parlour preventive strike | 02/25/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 02/25/11 | | Angry fanboi weed whacker | 02/25/11 | | floppy market potus | 02/25/11 | | Angry fanboi weed whacker | 02/25/11 | | Cobalt University | 02/25/11 | | Wonderful Ticket Booth Lettuce | 02/25/11 | | Insecure spot jap | 02/25/11 | | insanely creepy prole | 02/25/11 | | Wonderful Ticket Booth Lettuce | 02/25/11 | | insanely creepy prole | 02/25/11 | | Wonderful Ticket Booth Lettuce | 02/25/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 02/25/11 | | peach odious incel | 02/25/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 02/25/11 | | at-the-ready tattoo dingle berry | 02/25/11 | | Wonderful Ticket Booth Lettuce | 02/25/11 | | Hairless Thirsty Location | 02/25/11 | | Wonderful Ticket Booth Lettuce | 02/25/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 02/25/11 | | Wonderful Ticket Booth Lettuce | 02/25/11 | | Hairless Thirsty Location | 02/25/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 02/25/11 | | contagious parlour preventive strike | 02/25/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 02/25/11 | | Cobalt University | 02/25/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 02/25/11 | | Know-it-all therapy | 02/25/11 | | ebony fiercely-loyal native | 02/25/11 | | soul-stirring resort | 02/25/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 02/25/11 | | indigo sanctuary | 02/25/11 | | insanely creepy prole | 02/25/11 | | irradiated alcoholic ape lodge | 02/25/11 | | Wonderful Ticket Booth Lettuce | 02/25/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 02/25/11 | | jet swollen scourge upon the earth | 02/25/11 | | Wonderful Ticket Booth Lettuce | 02/25/11 | | Ultramarine Bat Shit Crazy Cruise Ship Blood Rage | 02/25/11 | | Wonderful Ticket Booth Lettuce | 02/25/11 | | disrespectful business firm milk | 11/07/11 | | Cyan stage | 02/25/11 | | soul-stirring resort | 02/25/11 | | concupiscible public bath | 02/25/11 | | Twisted theatre degenerate | 02/25/11 | | peach odious incel | 02/25/11 | | spruce learning disabled chapel | 02/25/11 | | insanely creepy prole | 02/25/11 | | Cracking party of the first part home | 02/25/11 | | irate stag film doctorate | 09/09/11 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:15 PM Author: disrespectful business firm milk Subject: (plus some miscellaneous attention-whoring)
this thread is not primarily intended to be a vessel for drama, nor is it a plea for attention; it's merely an attempt to get the truth out there. i knew that i was probably going to post this when i posted the trueblood thread, so don't think that this is some attempt to save face.
a few things i feel should be out there, both about lh and about my personal connection to the whole fiasco:
1: the thread was stupid and disrespectful and i shouldn't have posted it.
1.1: i've wanted to post that thread for months.
1.11: i often have very strong urges that i have trouble controlling. it's pretty shitty, because it upsets me to ignore them and it upsets me to carry them out, especially because they are usually things that are hurtful toward others.
1.12: i don't mean to sound like i'm dodging responsibility by blaming my shitty behavior on some hazy notion of mental illness, but (especially given my childhood diagnosis of ocd) the thought has crossed my mind that stronger or different medication might control these urges. you'll see more about these urges later.
1.2: the thread was deliberately incendiary, and i knew that the response would be what it was. it was not a "self pwn". my style in situations like that is to post something that i know will get a certain reaction, but in a way that implies that i don't anticipate it.
1.3: "trueblood" was the only moniker that i used to post in that thread or to post anything today besides this post. the few people that agreed were other people.
2: i generally meant what i said in the thread, despite the sensationalist nature of my wording.
2.1: i think that she made some shitty decisions and that she got off easy. sure, i don't know how much pain she went through in her broken marriage or anything like that, but based on her entitled attitude now, as well as her defensiveness in the thread in which she admitted her unfaithfulness, i do not think that she learned her lesson.
2.2: the intention was not to jeopardize her career (who would get fired for being a slut?) but to embarrass her by putting that information out there in a professional setting. imo she deserves far worse consequences than that.
2.21: i don't know what it is to "deserve" something; that sort of thing isn't within the realm of philosophy that really interests me. i don't think that there's any strict, defensible notion of desert; i'm just speaking my feelings. when i first became angry about her behavior and got the urge to post the thread, the figurative voices telling me to do it were saying, "she deserves it. she deserves to suffer." so... ask them wtf that means.
2.22: however, i would feel guilty taking her punishment into my own hands. i don't know what that says about my subliminal feelings about the matter.
2.3: fml is exactly right about my irrational anger toward lh: "I think box suffered a lot over the last few months, and felt a lot of guilt and self-hatred because of her actions. Seeing LH commit a worse sin of the same sort, and then glibly excuse herself (or at least that's how box sees it), was enraging."
2.31: when she first posted about cheating in two relationships, before i even knew that one of them was in a marriage, i was appalled that someone who committed such a sin was able to go on with her life, complaining constantly about her loneliness and inability to find a man. if you do something like that, imo, you relinquish any right to complain about your love life in the future.
2.32: i was further infuriated by her defense of her actions. no, i don't know the exact situation, but i'm with tmf on this: nothing makes such an action excusable.
3: someone in the thread said that i was mad because i had done the same thing. this is false. i treated twist badly in our relationship, but i didn't cheat.
3.1: we were explicitly not in a relationship and we were explicitly not exclusive. he was going to fuck a different girl just days before. however, were were hopelessly and childishly infatuated with one another. when i told him that i was going to see ohnoes, he was visibly upset, but said that my actions were up to me. i said, "ask me to promise and i will, so you feel less uneasy about it." he refused at first, then later asked me to promise that nothing would happen. i broke a promise to someone i loved and i hurt him - but i DID NOT CHEAT.
3.2: it was only after the event that my behavior became inexcusable, but perhaps it was understandable, given his reaction to the event.
3.21: when i told him what had happened (right after it did), he was incredibly hurt. he immediately practiced self-injury that he later classified as a suicide attempt, and he continued to abuse his body for weeks. he constantly spoke of suicide, and he made a huge lifestyle change that i will not reveal for fear of outing him. he cried daily for a month or two and sent me long e-mails about what a horrible thing i had done and what i needed to change in order to "become a real person". what he went through must have been horrible and i don't pretend that i had it any worse than he did, but i can only speak for myself, and there were four months of torture on my end. it was constant "i'm so sorry, i love you, we can make this work" alternated with, at first, "i want to cut myself open in a dumpster" and later "you are a sociopath and i hate you". the ups and downs further attached me to him - he'd build me up and tear me down - and i don't think i'll ever be completely free of what he did to me.
3.211: because he has posted similarly about MY behavior throughout the destroyed relationship (threats, etc.) i feel that it is my right to share this information.
3.22: in response to his depression, which was a reaction to MY initial mistake (so, yes, this is all my fault - i'm just trying to show you that it was a chain reaction) i too fell into a deep depression. this is where my inexcusable behavior came into play. i also started injuring myself, threatening to hurt or kill myself, and threatening to out him. my harmful urges became obsessive. every time we were almost okay, i would act out and ruin things again. eventually, he stopped loving me. soon after, he started hating me. now, he posts hurtful things about me on here (e.g. "she's a shitty, horrible person"), despite my pleas for him to stop. it may be helping him cope, but i doubt it: i think he just doesn't care enough to tone it down. since he started posting again, i've cried every day in response to the comments he's made about me here. i hadn't cried since december 12th, when i started feeling the effects of my antidepressants.
i hope you understand some of the circumstances that have led to the pain i'm in right now and consequently my aggressive meanness toward someone whose apparent comparative lack of suffering i envy. again, the behavior being understandable does not make it excusable: i know that i've done a lot of things that are plain wrong.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079276) |
 |
Date: January 18th, 2011 9:30 PM Author: demanding big station
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:15 PM
Author: The Box
Subject: (plus some miscellaneous attention-whoring)
this thread is not primarily intended to be a vessel for drama, nor is it a plea for attention; it's merely an attempt to get the truth out there. i knew that i was probably going to post this when i posted the trueblood thread, so don't think that this is some attempt to save face.
a few things i feel should be out there, both about lh and about my personal connection to the whole fiasco:
1: the thread was stupid and disrespectful and i shouldn't have posted it.
1.1: i've wanted to post that thread for months.
1.11: i often have very strong urges that i have trouble controlling. it's pretty shitty, because it upsets me to ignore them and it upsets me to carry them out, especially because they are usually things that are hurtful toward others.
1.12: i don't mean to sound like i'm dodging responsibility by blaming my shitty behavior on some hazy notion of mental illness, but (especially given my childhood diagnosis of ocd) the thought has crossed my mind that stronger or different medication might control these urges. you'll see more about these urges later.
1.2: the thread was deliberately incendiary, and i knew that the response would be what it was. it was not a "self pwn". my style in situations like that is to post something that i know will get a certain reaction, but in a way that implies that i don't anticipate it.
1.3: "trueblood" was the only moniker that i used to post in that thread or to post anything today besides this post. the few people that agreed were other people.
2: i generally meant what i said in the thread, despite the sensationalist nature of my wording.
2.1: i think that she made some shitty decisions and that she got off easy. sure, i don't know how much pain she went through in her broken marriage or anything like that, but based on her entitled attitude now, as well as her defensiveness in the thread in which she admitted her unfaithfulness, i do not think that she learned her lesson.
2.2: the intention was not to jeopardize her career (who would get fired for being a slut?) but to embarrass her by putting that information out there in a professional setting. imo she deserves far worse consequences than that.
2.21: i don't know what it is to "deserve" something; that sort of thing isn't within the realm of philosophy that really interests me. i don't think that there's any strict, defensible notion of desert; i'm just speaking my feelings. when i first became angry about her behavior and got the urge to post the thread, the figurative voices telling me to do it were saying, "she deserves it. she deserves to suffer." so... ask them wtf that means.
2.22: however, i would feel guilty taking her punishment into my own hands. i don't know what that says about my subliminal feelings about the matter.
2.3: fml is exactly right about my irrational anger toward lh: "I think box suffered a lot over the last few months, and felt a lot of guilt and self-hatred because of her actions. Seeing LH commit a worse sin of the same sort, and then glibly excuse herself (or at least that's how box sees it), was enraging."
2.31: when she first posted about cheating in two relationships, before i even knew that one of them was in a marriage, i was appalled that someone who committed such a sin was able to go on with her life, complaining constantly about her loneliness and inability to find a man. if you do something like that, imo, you relinquish any right to complain about your love life in the future.
2.32: i was further infuriated by her defense of her actions. no, i don't know the exact situation, but i'm with tmf on this: nothing makes such an action excusable.
3: someone in the thread said that i was mad because i had done the same thing. this is false. i treated twist badly in our relationship, but i didn't cheat.
3.1: we were explicitly not in a relationship and we were explicitly not exclusive. he was going to fuck a different girl just days before. however, were were hopelessly and childishly infatuated with one another. when i told him that i was going to see ohnoes, he was visibly upset, but said that my actions were up to me. i said, "ask me to promise and i will, so you feel less uneasy about it." he refused at first, then later asked me to promise that nothing would happen. i broke a promise to someone i loved and i hurt him - but i DID NOT CHEAT.
3.2: it was only after the event that my behavior became inexcusable, but perhaps it was understandable, given his reaction to the event.
3.21: when i told him what had happened (right after it did), he was incredibly hurt. he immediately practiced self-injury that he later classified as a suicide attempt, and he continued to abuse his body for weeks. he constantly spoke of suicide, and he made a huge lifestyle change that i will not reveal for fear of outing him. he cried daily for a month or two and sent me long e-mails about what a horrible thing i had done and what i needed to change in order to "become a real person". what he went through must have been horrible and i don't pretend that i had it any worse than he did, but i can only speak for myself, and there were four months of torture on my end. it was constant "i'm so sorry, i love you, we can make this work" alternated with, at first, "i want to cut myself open in a dumpster" and later "you are a sociopath and i hate you". the ups and downs further attached me to him - he'd build me up and tear me down - and i don't think i'll ever be completely free of what he did to me.
3.211: because he has posted similarly about MY behavior throughout the destroyed relationship (threats, etc.) i feel that it is my right to share this information.
3.22: in response to his depression, which was a reaction to MY initial mistake (so, yes, this is all my fault - i'm just trying to show you that it was a chain reaction) i too fell into a deep depression. this is where my inexcusable behavior came into play. i also started injuring myself, threatening to hurt or kill myself, and threatening to out him. my harmful urges became obsessive. every time we were almost okay, i would act out and ruin things again. eventually, he stopped loving me. soon after, he started hating me. now, he posts hurtful things about me on here (e.g. "she's a shitty, horrible person"), despite my pleas for him to stop. it may be helping him cope, but i doubt it: i think he just doesn't care enough to tone it down. since he started posting again, i've cried every day in response to the comments he's made about me here. i hadn't cried since december 12th, when i started feeling the effects of my antidepressants.
i hope you understand some of the circumstances that have led to the pain i'm in right now and consequently my aggressive meanness toward someone whose apparent comparative lack of suffering i envy. again, the behavior being understandable does not make it excusable: i know that i've done a lot of things that are plain wrong.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079276)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17086949) |
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:19 PM Author: Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter
I would like to perpetuate the norm that posters professional lives should be off-limits to XO retaliation. Obviously I have a lot of self-interest in putting that norm out there, and you have no self-interest in sustaining it (since you're already outed, what do you care).
But I think that most people here would agree with me, and thus found that thread extremely alarming.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079340) |
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Date: January 17th, 2011 11:27 PM Author: disrespectful business firm milk
it's funny because the e-mail explicitly said "this is not a threat. i would never do this, as i do not wish you harm. i just want you to know what someone could do, as i'm not yet sure that you understand the weight of your mistakes."
someone lacks reading comprehension skills - not shocking.
are you fucking her again? is that why you're being a big bad white knight? hahaha you old, pathetic faggot. pick on people fewer than ten years younger than you.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079451) |
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:28 PM Author: bisexual seedy main people
way-t-fucking-l;dr
and this schtick is played out
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079454) |
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:28 PM Author: Shimmering abnormal feces school
thanks in advance for driving all board traffic to this thread for the rest of the night. not like anyone else had shit they wanted to discuss.
Man I hate you self-absorbed posters...even moreso you self absorbed posters who manage to dominate the board with your mindless drivel.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079462) |
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:31 PM Author: Hyperactive lascivious institution trump supporter
Anyway, this thread convinces me that you are beyond a doubt completely insane.
Before, you only were crazy about your exes or boys you liked. That's still kind of crazy, but it's somewhat understandable for a teenage girl to act crazy about those things. But now that you randomly attacked LH like this, it's more than just teen girl drama.
Unless you've also hooked up with LH. She is hot, after all.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079503) |
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:32 PM Author: Hairless Thirsty Location
dear box,
i truly think that you are a horrible person. i used to look at you like i did several of my cousins, your age, going to start their undergrad, and i, like many of us on this board worried about you. that being said, having seen what you've done, and worse seeing what you write now, i cannot maintain any respect for you. you are a wicked person.
you've created a story about you and twist and maybe it's fair and maybe it's not, but you constantly insist that it be true. no one person's story of the events will ever be true--it's all perception and agreements and a thousand complicated emotions and you of all people should understand it. maybe cause you take meds you think that there's a true world somewhere out there and you need others to acknowledge that world and refuse to understand that people, sane people, remember things differently. you were in a relationship that was emotional and unstable. there is no longer time for you to seek validation; you need to accept that its over, that you won't be the hero, and move on.
you felt that lh needed punishment? apart from how naive you are, that was highly inappropriate. who are you to judge her actions? and even if you must, most respectable people limit their judgment to this board, and don't try to rely on unstable lurkers to go out and ruin someone's life. what does it matter if she gets "justice"? you are acting like a dumb, spoiled child, and you prove that you're sub-3.0 gpa was earned.
you are growing more an more psychotic, less and less innocent, and quite frankly, and quite frankly, for what it's worth, this anonymous person on the internet has no more respect for you. you need to grow up girl. seek help--not just people who will confirm your warped worldview. you've let yourself focus so much on what you think is justice that you have made yourself miserable, and it's not even pitiable, just maddening.
goodbye box. please consider retiring.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079522) |
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:46 PM Author: Well-lubricated clear locale
Reminder: a 20 year old girl wrote the above OP and holds those opinions.
It doesn't take xoxohth.com very long to truly rape the psyche of a person. Tomorrow, maybe we should all take a day off.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079754) |
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:48 PM Author: Slippery fear-inspiring senate
Box, I'm way older than you but you're already doing one of the worst possible things for any individual, male or female. You are so quick to cast judgment upon others for their shitty behavior and claim it indefensible. HOWEVUH, you have a justification and/or rationalization for all of your own personal shitty behavior.
People in glass houses, etc etc etc. Plus, judging people all the time must be exhausting. You're young. Please take steps to stop this awful awful behavior. When I'm single nothing makes girls more dumpable than this kind of shit.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079783) |
Date: January 18th, 2011 12:02 AM Author: soul-stirring resort
FYI, Box, you say you agree with me but this was some crazy shit move you pulled and I don't remotely condone it. It is up to her exes to take revenge for being cheated on if they chooses to do so, not you or other psychos from the board.
You want to think she is a shitty person for what she did? Fine, that's perfectly reasonable. But you crossed a major line by emailing her IRL with veiled threats.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079967) |
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Date: January 18th, 2011 12:27 AM Author: disrespectful business firm milk
it was mean-spirited, but it was not a threat.
i am not rationalizing. i said in the OP that i shouldn't have done it.
it was not a threat.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17080353) |
Date: January 18th, 2011 12:19 AM Author: Gay effete pervert house
i'm sure you don't really care what i think but for everyone's sake please leave and never return. sending "non-threatening" emails as described in this thread is fucking crazy. you don't know what has transpired in peoples lives and while i'm sure some people on this board have done lots of fucked up shit it's not your job to be captain fucking planet and run around righting every wrong. get your life in order, do the right things, live irl, and quit acting like a 19 year old know it all.
i know you'll dismiss me as a not that smart, generally uninteresting, LH white knight, and all that may be true but you have a lot to learning to do. have a little humility. box, despite the fact that you're being crazy, a lot of people here (including myself), who are older, have their shit somewhat together etc. are telling you to stop. quit talking and just listen. i really hope things get better for you but I suspect your actions make this less likely everyday.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17080226)
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Date: January 18th, 2011 12:50 AM Author: Cyan stage
Box, it's clear your beef with LH is rooted in your jealousy of the relationship you believe she had with an xoxo poster. Same deal for bel.
The first step to recovery is understanding.
HTH
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17080625) |
Date: January 18th, 2011 2:43 AM Author: disrespectful business firm milk
just talked to my mom for a while. among other things, she said that the vigilante justice approach is a shitty one and it's a good thing i learned that lesson. she said that it's like i'm following some distorted version of the golden rule: that instead of treating others kindly because that's how i want to be treated, i'm treating others badly because i was treated badly. i told her that that's just how the world works; people hurt each other because they're hurt. she said that it doesn't have to be like that.
she doesn't think i'm a bad person, and that matters more than anything any of you thinks. she also thinks that the must important thing is that i stay the fuck away from this website, because all it does is hurt me. she's right, of course. hopefully this is the last you guys see of me.
i've apologized to lh via e-mail. i am sorry to anyone else that this upset or scared.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17081672) |
Date: January 18th, 2011 3:05 AM Author: Abusive fragrant masturbator church
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:15 PM
Author: The Box
Subject: (plus some miscellaneous attention-whoring)
this thread is not primarily intended to be a vessel for drama, nor is it a plea for attention; it's merely an attempt to get the truth out there. i knew that i was probably going to post this when i posted the trueblood thread, so don't think that this is some attempt to save face.
a few things i feel should be out there, both about lh and about my personal connection to the whole fiasco:
1: the thread was stupid and disrespectful and i shouldn't have posted it.
1.1: i've wanted to post that thread for months.
1.11: i often have very strong urges that i have trouble controlling. it's pretty shitty, because it upsets me to ignore them and it upsets me to carry them out, especially because they are usually things that are hurtful toward others.
1.12: i don't mean to sound like i'm dodging responsibility by blaming my shitty behavior on some hazy notion of mental illness, but (especially given my childhood diagnosis of ocd) the thought has crossed my mind that stronger or different medication might control these urges. you'll see more about these urges later.
1.2: the thread was deliberately incendiary, and i knew that the response would be what it was. it was not a "self pwn". my style in situations like that is to post something that i know will get a certain reaction, but in a way that implies that i don't anticipate it.
1.3: "trueblood" was the only moniker that i used to post in that thread or to post anything today besides this post. the few people that agreed were other people.
2: i generally meant what i said in the thread, despite the sensationalist nature of my wording.
2.1: i think that she made some shitty decisions and that she got off easy. sure, i don't know how much pain she went through in her broken marriage or anything like that, but based on her entitled attitude now, as well as her defensiveness in the thread in which she admitted her unfaithfulness, i do not think that she learned her lesson.
2.2: the intention was not to jeopardize her career (who would get fired for being a slut?) but to embarrass her by putting that information out there in a professional setting. imo she deserves far worse consequences than that.
2.21: i don't know what it is to "deserve" something; that sort of thing isn't within the realm of philosophy that really interests me. i don't think that there's any strict, defensible notion of desert; i'm just speaking my feelings. when i first became angry about her behavior and got the urge to post the thread, the figurative voices telling me to do it were saying, "she deserves it. she deserves to suffer." so... ask them wtf that means.
2.22: however, i would feel guilty taking her punishment into my own hands. i don't know what that says about my subliminal feelings about the matter.
2.3: fml is exactly right about my irrational anger toward lh: "I think box suffered a lot over the last few months, and felt a lot of guilt and self-hatred because of her actions. Seeing LH commit a worse sin of the same sort, and then glibly excuse herself (or at least that's how box sees it), was enraging."
2.31: when she first posted about cheating in two relationships, before i even knew that one of them was in a marriage, i was appalled that someone who committed such a sin was able to go on with her life, complaining constantly about her loneliness and inability to find a man. if you do something like that, imo, you relinquish any right to complain about your love life in the future.
2.32: i was further infuriated by her defense of her actions. no, i don't know the exact situation, but i'm with tmf on this: nothing makes such an action excusable.
3: someone in the thread said that i was mad because i had done the same thing. this is false. i treated twist badly in our relationship, but i didn't cheat.
3.1: we were explicitly not in a relationship and we were explicitly not exclusive. he was going to fuck a different girl just days before. however, were were hopelessly and childishly infatuated with one another. when i told him that i was going to see ohnoes, he was visibly upset, but said that my actions were up to me. i said, "ask me to promise and i will, so you feel less uneasy about it." he refused at first, then later asked me to promise that nothing would happen. i broke a promise to someone i loved and i hurt him - but i DID NOT CHEAT.
3.2: it was only after the event that my behavior became inexcusable, but perhaps it was understandable, given his reaction to the event.
3.21: when i told him what had happened (right after it did), he was incredibly hurt. he immediately practiced self-injury that he later classified as a suicide attempt, and he continued to abuse his body for weeks. he constantly spoke of suicide, and he made a huge lifestyle change that i will not reveal for fear of outing him. he cried daily for a month or two and sent me long e-mails about what a horrible thing i had done and what i needed to change in order to "become a real person". what he went through must have been horrible and i don't pretend that i had it any worse than he did, but i can only speak for myself, and there were four months of torture on my end. it was constant "i'm so sorry, i love you, we can make this work" alternated with, at first, "i want to cut myself open in a dumpster" and later "you are a sociopath and i hate you". the ups and downs further attached me to him - he'd build me up and tear me down - and i don't think i'll ever be completely free of what he did to me.
3.211: because he has posted similarly about MY behavior throughout the destroyed relationship (threats, etc.) i feel that it is my right to share this information.
3.22: in response to his depression, which was a reaction to MY initial mistake (so, yes, this is all my fault - i'm just trying to show you that it was a chain reaction) i too fell into a deep depression. this is where my inexcusable behavior came into play. i also started injuring myself, threatening to hurt or kill myself, and threatening to out him. my harmful urges became obsessive. every time we were almost okay, i would act out and ruin things again. eventually, he stopped loving me. soon after, he started hating me. now, he posts hurtful things about me on here (e.g. "she's a shitty, horrible person"), despite my pleas for him to stop. it may be helping him cope, but i doubt it: i think he just doesn't care enough to tone it down. since he started posting again, i've cried every day in response to the comments he's made about me here. i hadn't cried since december 12th, when i started feeling the effects of my antidepressants.
i hope you understand some of the circumstances that have led to the pain i'm in right now and consequently my aggressive meanness toward someone whose apparent comparative lack of suffering i envy. again, the behavior being understandable does not make it excusable: i know that i've done a lot of things that are plain wrong.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17081769)
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Date: January 18th, 2011 9:47 AM Author: concupiscible public bath
damn, apologies to the people i questioned in the other thread. y'all had it right on. i stand pwned.
and for all my soapboxing against fucking with people's lives, i don't think i'll have shit to say when someone decides the box hasn't suffered enough for the shit she's done.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17082212) |
Date: January 18th, 2011 10:54 AM Author: Mind-boggling meetinghouse
gee who called box being awful and crazy and unstable from the first day star-struck XO justin.tv trolls were welcoming "mel" as the new queen of xo?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17082471)
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Date: January 18th, 2011 12:13 PM Author: Galvanic property mad cow disease
The pretzel thing was a bullshit stunt to pull as I stated in that thread.
Box: your behavior is not ok even for this site. fix yourself.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17082868) |
Date: January 20th, 2011 3:02 PM Author: Laughsome startled field
And so The Box ascends to the XO Pantheon of Deranged Stalkers.
Sonic Youth and Mr. Jinx are personally on hand to welcome her into the elite fraternity of internet pyschos.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17100082) |
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Date: February 25th, 2011 12:43 PM Author: contagious parlour preventive strike
tbf...this just isn't fair.
I may be a crazy female sometimes, but she should really be committed.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17369189)
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Date: February 25th, 2011 11:56 AM Author: insanely creepy prole
tl;dr version of this???
who the fuck is LH?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17368958) |
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