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Rate this lulzy revelation from my buddy's fiancee
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:26 PM Author: orange bipolar locus Just got back from lunch with this dood. He's all upset b/c he had a big blowout with his fiancee last night. It's pure 180 clueless-ness on the the fiancee's part.
So this all started b/c of the curtains they have in their living room. She apparently made them from some really nice sheets. Last night he asked her some question about them and she offered out of nowhere that the reason she had made them into sheets is that they were nice, new sheets that had gotten ripped while she was fucking her previous bf.
She didn't want the fabric to go to waste so she turned them into curtains. Then he made the mistake of asking her what the hell they were doing that had ripped the sheets and she told him it was their first time trying anal and she was gripping them so hard with her fists that they ripped.
This ill-advised confession led to a very tempestuous evening. Lol at women, thinking any dude wouldn't be pissed hearing about this. |
Date: March 26th, 2012 3:27 PM Author: Lascivious crackhouse LOL!!! "they're my trophies, I love looking at them...when you think I am staring out of the window, I am thinking about Dale ballsdeep in my ass"
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:31 PM Author: orange bipolar locus Yeah, it has to be a trophy kind of deal. Nobody would be dumb enough to not realize how offensive a revelation that would be.
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:31 PM Author: sinister place of business lol wtf. he's dumping the bitch, right? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303841) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:34 PM Author: orange bipolar locus I don't know. He kept saying over and over that the curtains better be down by the time he gets home.
I hope he does dump her, as she's pretty fuckiing annoying even without keeping momentos of getting assfucked by some other dude.
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:51 PM Author: sinister place of business your buddy is a moron for trying to wife this dumb slut (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303932) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:32 PM Author: dead dull athletic conference abode holy shit that was dumb on her part (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303845) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:34 PM Author: translucent potus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muhFxXce6nA&ob=av2e (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303851) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:40 PM Author: underhanded famous landscape painting The worst part is she won't do anal with him because "she has already experienced it"
lololol women are unbelievable at times. |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:42 PM Author: orange bipolar locus I don't know, but it certainly wouldn't surprise me.
There's nothing more infuriating than "no, I've tried that before and didn't like it" |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:48 PM Author: odious sooty set mad cow disease no wonder she kept insisting that he fuck her in front of that window
also, sorry about your friend's tpd |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:51 PM Author: orange bipolar locus I know that the previous bf dumped her, but even still that seems like a strange souvenir to keep---hmm, I'll commemorate that time I was painfully sodomized forever!
I think maybe what happened is that she made them while she was with the other dood, actually likes them as curtains, and was too damn dumb to realize what a shitstorm she'd kick up by telling my friend the truth.
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:48 PM Author: thriller locale affirmative action Their bedroom must smell like shit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303909) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:49 PM Author: arrogant titillating persian this story can't be true. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303912) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:51 PM Author: Claret very tactful idiot cuckoldry this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303934) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:52 PM Author: orange bipolar locus I don't think it played out very quickly. I think what happened is that she made the initial stupid admission about the sheets ripping, then he got curious/angry and kept pushing for details.
Why on earth she gave them is beyond me. |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:52 PM Author: Burgundy temple electric furnace cheeks were clapped. drapes were made. lulz were had. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303937) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:53 PM Author: thriller locale affirmative action (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303944) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:54 PM Author: orange bipolar locus lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303948) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:58 PM Author: Dashing Azn (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303980) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:54 PM Author: Copper vivacious masturbator field How the fuck has no one suggested ATD yet? This is utterly beyond me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303946) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:55 PM Author: Burgundy temple electric furnace i think when the basis for the D is prior A, ATD is precluded as a matter of law. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303957) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:56 PM Author: Copper vivacious masturbator field PLEASE ELABORATE ON THIS LEGAL NUANCE, BROTHER (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303969) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:07 PM Author: Burgundy temple electric furnace Johnson v. Butz, 32 F.3d 69 (a man cannot seek anal damages when dissolution of the relationship is predicated upon prior anal activity with a third party). Basically, the court wanted women to be able to freely engage in anal on a case-by-case basis without opening themselves up to ATD from every future partner for doing so. This helps to preserve the integrity of women's buttholds. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304043) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:10 PM Author: orange bipolar locus lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304059) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:16 PM Author: Adventurous Parlor Wagecucks ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304094) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:22 PM Author: peach aromatic black woman forum (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304135) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:23 PM Author: translucent potus well done (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304145) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:24 PM Author: Claret very tactful idiot cuckoldry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304155) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:14 PM Author: gay ceo library (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304514) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:30 PM Author: Tripping stock car ur a really good poster (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304610) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:35 PM Author: poppy beady-eyed trailer park (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304651) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:38 PM Author: confused vibrant parlour gunner (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304678) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:59 PM Author: glittery goyim address (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308328) |
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Date: April 6th, 2012 4:58 PM Author: house-broken khaki dragon lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20406715) |
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Date: April 6th, 2012 5:09 PM Author: Boyish bull headed trump supporter (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20406793) |
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Date: April 6th, 2012 5:12 PM Author: Vermilion queen of the night (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20406808) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:55 PM Author: orange bipolar locus I'd be surprised if he did that b/c even though he seemed pretty pissed he didn't mention dumping her or calling anything off.
Since the wedding is planned for June, I think it would take an act of current cheating for him to call it off. |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:57 PM Author: Copper vivacious masturbator field dude, ATD would be SOOOOOOO FUCKING CREDITED in this scenario. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303973) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:00 PM Author: orange bipolar locus If not ATD, then certainly anal whenever the fuck he wants it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303994) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:55 PM Author: Claret very tactful idiot cuckoldry curtains and squirtstains.
marvelous |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:57 PM Author: know-it-all mewling pisswyrm institution the most offensive part of all is that she won't let him anal her. this could be forgivable if it was something he could also do to her.
the fact that there's a trophy in his house commemorating the fact that some other dood has been somewhere with his wife that he's never been is unacceptable
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Date: March 26th, 2012 3:59 PM Author: orange bipolar locus i was sort of wondering whether or not she was letting my friend anal her. he was so upset i didn't want to ask, but it's infinitely worse if she's holding out after giving it out freely before. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20303990) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:12 PM Author: wonderful cyan base she HAS to give up her ass now (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304074) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:22 PM Author: peach aromatic black woman forum lo fucking l. what in the everloving fuck. how has he not already buttfucked her and dumped her? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304141) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:25 PM Author: orange bipolar locus i don't know if he's ever fucked her in the ass, but if he hasn't I imagine she's in for a not-too-gentle experience when they do.
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Date: March 26th, 2012 4:26 PM Author: Twisted Topaz Garrison the best case for ATD i've ever seen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304166) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:12 PM Author: orange bipolar locus UPDATE: dood just texted me. is home after work and the offending drapes have been removed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304503) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:14 PM Author: magical bistre property she still has to give that anus up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304517) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:16 PM Author: peach aromatic black woman forum Great. Now he needs to wrap them around her throat like a collar and leash while he dry anals her, and three seconds before he cums tell her as she's sobbing "By the way, we're breaking up." Then open-hand smack her on the back of the head, cum in her ass, pull out, wipe his cock off on the drapes, and tell her to pack her shit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304525) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:19 PM Author: anal roommate Consider Islam (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304544) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:20 PM Author: peach aromatic black woman forum Haha. I mean come on. "I wanted to salvage our anal sheets by using them in the home we share"? Fuck this retarded cunt. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304552) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:17 PM Author: heady crusty ticket booth he still has to hate-fuck her though for at least a week in order to preserve his masculinity and avoid becoming and an insecure beta in her eyes as a result of all this (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304530) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:18 PM Author: peach aromatic black woman forum He needs to break up over this bullshit. Give me a fucking break. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304539) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:23 PM Author: heady crusty ticket booth break up because she had anal sex prior to their relationship? it's hard to find a reasonably attractive women these days who hasn't done this.
and it sounds like she reused the curtains long before she met this guy
or are you just offended that she told him the story? |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:25 PM Author: translucent potus she at least owes him the chance to fuck her in the ass (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304579) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:38 PM Author: heady crusty ticket booth at a minimum, she owes him this (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304679) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:25 PM Author: peach aromatic black woman forum The curtains thing. Not that she got fucked up the ass. At that point in their relationship, it's a little late to care about that. But using buttfuck curtains? That's a problem man. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304581) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:28 PM Author: orange bipolar locus So is the offense just being insensitive/dumb enough to tell him the backstory of the curtains, or is having the curtains in their house in the first place something of a slight?
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:29 PM Author: magical bistre property gotta be the latter (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304606) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:30 PM Author: peach aromatic black woman forum SOMETHING of a slight? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304613) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:32 PM Author: orange bipolar locus yeah, you're right. it's definitely more than that. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304641) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:35 PM Author: peach aromatic black woman forum I mean, look, I'm definitely PP CONFIRMED to be undateable and unmarriable, due in no small part to my outrageously high standards. Among them are not going and getting loaded alone with other men, not hanging up memorials to previous times you've been anally blasted, and so on. So take my opinion for what it's worth. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304653) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:39 PM Author: orange bipolar locus I think you're spot on about this, actually. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304683) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:30 PM Author: Tripping stock car both, but definitely the latter is worse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304620) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:36 PM Author: abnormal appetizing stain water buffalo i can't imagine any guy telling a buddy this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304659) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:38 PM Author: orange bipolar locus I think they really had a huge blow up and she tried to tell him he was overreacting. I think he just wanted confirmation that he wasn't being unreasonable in being outraged.
But yeah, kind of humiliating to tell to someone. |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:39 PM Author: gay ceo library You need to ATD your bro bro. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304685) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:44 PM Author: orange bipolar locus no homo, though, right? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304720) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 5:43 PM Author: Obsidian Half-breed one of those threads where JJC pulls out 9 different monikers (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20304710) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 8:59 PM Author: orange bipolar locus UPDATE 2: I texted the dood to see how things were going and he replied that they had talked about it and everything was cool.
So, I guess there's no breakup coming. I don't think I'd be calmed down about it in under 24 hours, though. |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:09 PM Author: translucent potus so he got some anal? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308018) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:15 PM Author: talented white mental disorder nice. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308040) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:12 PM Author: henna indian lodge Sounds like a catch to me. I like her thrifty side. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308029) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:13 PM Author: cerise university this is true because white women are more fucked up than xo bros are creative
lol white women |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:16 PM Author: henna indian lodge Shut up you shit stained camel fucker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308047) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:16 PM Author: cerise university not bane bro (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308053) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 9:19 PM Author: henna indian lodge You're just some shit hued manlet...we know. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308067) |
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Date: March 26th, 2012 10:20 PM Author: Startling lay shit 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20308500) |
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Date: April 6th, 2012 4:47 PM Author: Stimulating Embarrassed To The Bone Step-uncle's House Newt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20406630) |
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Date: April 6th, 2012 4:54 PM Author: orange bipolar locus Since you bumped I'll update things to where they are now. So I flat out asked him if he'd done her in the ass before. Apparently he knew she'd done it with another guy (or guys, not sure) before. She said she didn't like it and was reluctant to try it with him but eventually agreed.
He said they'd never been able to do it as she makes him stop b/c it hurts too much if he gets even the tip in. So they've tried it around half a dozen times, but never successfully. So my friend stopped trying b/c it was more hassle than it was worth.
The "resolution" they came to is that they'll start trying it again to see if it goes any better.
I told him he should just jam it in and let it do what it do. |
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Date: April 6th, 2012 4:55 PM Author: Lascivious crackhouse "jam it in and let it do what it do"
or, you know, you could just plan a hospital visit, too. |
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Date: April 6th, 2012 5:16 PM Author: translucent potus or he could just use plenty of lube and warm her up with a butt-plug. just sayin. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#20406829) |
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Date: June 10th, 2012 5:39 PM Author: orange bipolar locus As a final update, I've just returned home from their wedding. I had brunch with the lovely couple this morning, but there was no news about any torn or shredded bedclothes from the nuptial bed.
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Date: January 13th, 2014 10:36 PM Author: Stimulating Embarrassed To The Bone Step-uncle's House Newt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1908239&forum_id=2#24829948) |