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post bizarre fucked up shit u half remember from u childhood
| thriller lay | 01/13/14 |
| Out-of-control Business Firm | 01/14/14 |
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: January 13th, 2014 6:38 PM Author: thriller lay kindergarten I think nice day in september we went out in are shitty little play yard I hung out on the swing. bunch of other kids were near the TREE LINE in the foliage.
came back into kindergarten room for lunch (we all brought) and this fucked up named drew thousand strolls up to our table reaches into his pocket and throws a fucking baby bird onto the middle of it. like completley featherless couldnt have been more than 2 weeks old, it went fucking mental flopping around flying snapping at all of us. kids were screaming, mrs koala sprinted over, grabbed it, all the kids were SCREAMING, she panicked as she was holding it ad ran over and side arm pitched it out the 3rd floor window onto the blacktop.
whole class was bawling their eyes out including assistant teacher. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:24 AM Author: Out-of-control Business Firm U stole this from a little known Denis Johnson short story, right? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830551) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 10:28 PM Author: Sable puppy chad CGM was caught masturbating outside my 1st grade class window. He was 15 and had his thumb in his butthole (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24836049) |
Date: January 13th, 2014 6:42 PM Author: mustard reading party when i was like 5 i was walking the family dog and just kept going around the neighborhood. i wasn't paying attention and got lost. i started crying and i vaguely remember the houses looked different, it was getting cold out. some guy in a truck came by and i got in with the dog and somehow he drove me home.
my parents flipped out and were basically crying that i would get in the car with a stranger. i think it was the first time i heard the word rape and i wasn't sure what it meant but my parents seemed genuinely scared. i think i should call them and get the whole story. |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:44 PM Author: Very tactful violet gaping i think you left out the good part breh (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828537) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:45 PM Author: mustard reading party i'm trying to remember if he touched my cock. probably not since we had a large mean dog. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828540) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 7:15 PM Author: Concupiscible Chestnut School Maybe he touched the dog's cock first?? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828710) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 6:49 AM Author: Beady-eyed Stubborn Abode Scholarship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24837573) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:48 PM Author: Geriatric kitchen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828561) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:45 PM Author: thriller lay that rules (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828541) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:47 PM Author: Vigorous ungodly fanboi alpha At recess we were all running back from the playground to class. This was like 3rd grade. This one girl turns to yell at her friend to say something and keeps running and just nails her head on a tether ball pole. She instantly fell to the concrete and I remember just seeing a huge pool of blood surround her. It was extremely surreal. I've never played tether ball since (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828555) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 11:55 PM Author: Crawly demanding nursing home half-breed tether ball is 180. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830407) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 3:34 PM Author: Sapphire legend tether ball is SPS. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24839094) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 3:36 PM Author: jet rigpig garrison (THE NAPOLEON DYNAMITE JUGGERNAUT THE POSTER) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24839101) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:47 PM Author: racy bright mood piazza My 3rd grade teacher tried to kiss me on the lips once and I told him not to because we weren't married and kissing was only for married people. Not flame. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828556) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:48 PM Author: underhanded appetizing church building alpha as fuckk (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828563) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:48 PM Author: Geriatric kitchen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828564) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:51 PM Author: Very tactful violet gaping cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828581) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 7:13 PM Author: obsidian hall mother Sick neg bro (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828695) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 11:52 PM Author: wine seedy volcanic crater lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830393) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 9:26 PM Author: pea-brained offensive clown knife (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835654) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 5:00 PM Author: ebony wonderful selfie (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24839624) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 11:52 PM Author: walnut famous landscape painting weed whacker Faggot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830392) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:49 PM Author: Geriatric kitchen I was an altar boy and we used to go over to the priests house and watch football after mass and it was really fun and he was really cool. Always had a lot of snacks. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828574) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:52 PM Author: Very tactful violet gaping "Father, this lemonade is making me sleepy..." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828588) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:02 AM Author: aphrodisiac beta site feces You left out the best part. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830457) |
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Date: January 17th, 2014 5:19 PM Author: cyan razzle temple trump supporter and? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24850902) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2014 7:40 AM Author: Cracking maize private investor meetinghouse In high school some guys who had went to a different catholic grade school than me used to brag how they always used to cut class and "hang out in the rectory" with one of the cool priests. I didn't realize until years later that it was pretty fucked up the way they described it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24940861) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:50 PM Author: house-broken range One day I decided Mr Dress Up was a dorkass so I whipped out my flaccid babbydick and kinda mashed it on the tv screen. I still remember that cottony static on my loins. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828578) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 11:54 PM Author: trip forum genital piercing lol I did the same thing man (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830404) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 1:39 PM Author: house-broken range tbf I still do this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24832594) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:52 PM Author: Twinkling trailer park coffee pot When I was 7-8, my dad used to pose these disturbing hypotheticals to me, like "What would you do if you came into the kitchen and I was lying motionless on the floor with my head in the hot frying pan."
I almost drowned several times when I was a kid. Surprised I'm not afraid of water.
My grandpa made me and my sister watch Escape from Sobibor when we were little. |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:54 PM Author: mustard reading party lol me too. we had the vhs. was it a famous movie in the mid 80s? what a close call i had with being gay, i guess. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828603) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:56 PM Author: Twinkling trailer park coffee pot EFS is on YouTube. I watched it recently. There is no reason to show it to an 8-year-old. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828612) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 6:58 PM Author: mustard reading party i just remember them running through the mine field at the end and my grandma telling me if the nazis came in power again, no matter my last name the nazis could sniff out a jew and anyone with 1 jewish grandparents would go to a camp. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828627) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:05 AM Author: Very tactful violet gaping she was mistaken, it's not just the nazis you have to worry about (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830469) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:25 AM Author: mustard reading party azns? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830555) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:19 AM Author: Aromatic slippery plaza people who are hurt lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24831332) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 3:37 PM Author: Sapphire legend lol, my mom used to always test me with hypothetical "what would you do if..." emergencies. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24839107) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 5:28 AM Author: wine seedy volcanic crater Haven't you posted like twelve threads on this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584323) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 5:29 AM Author: wine seedy volcanic crater edit: double poast (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584324) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 7:09 PM Author: Carnelian striped hyena Found a random farmhouse on the edge of the woods a couple miles from home. No one was home, so we broke in through a window, rummaged around, it was clean, there wasn't any food in the fridge, couple bedrooms upstairs that were either vacant or had old-ass bed with old-ass sheets and stuff. Kitchen table had that morning's local newspaper on it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828667) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 11:53 PM Author: amber stimulating menage antidepressant drug I found this the creepiest one (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830398) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:09 AM Author: Wild digit ratio wtf (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830491) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 2:33 AM Author: gay titillating kitty cat hunting house. suburban hunting grounds dudes would share access to these things in the part of NJ where i'm from. they were forever being broken into. nobody would update all the shit in the house or really clean it up, but the windows, doors, and stove were usually maintained so people could use it to warm up or get their gear together. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830929) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 7:09 PM Author: contagious senate When I was 14, a sports team from my HS was in the state playoffs, and they were playing about a half hour from where I lived. I didn't have a car yet, so I needed someone to drive me to it, but because my class were freshmen, I didn't know anyone with a car. My parents worked late and would never have been able to get me there by 7:00 when it started. Somehow, I started talking to this senior girl. This was really strange, as I had literally never had an extended conversation with a senior before. Somehow, the conversation turned to the game and she agreed to drive me there.
She picked up me at home at around 6:30 (my parents probably weren't home yet). We got to the game, and I went to go join my friends while she found hers--I promised to come find her before the end of the game. I found her at 9:30 and we got into her car, ostensibly to drive me home.
The next thing I remember was being dropped off at 2:30 A.M. I had no memory of the intervening five hours.
I have no idea how I got into the house, because I definitely would have been caught sneaking it at 2:30, not to mention that my parents would have flipped a shit and probably started calling cops if I wasn't home before 11 with no prior warning. My friend theorized I was raped. Weird, because I would have had no objection to it: The girl was an objective 6. Icing on the cake: I looked her up years later and found out she went Ivy --> T14. |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 7:16 PM Author: Carnelian striped hyena I think you would've objected to the kind of rape she subjected you to. She put stuff up your ass and/or put gross shit in your mouth. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828713) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:35 PM Author: orchid azn cumskin (brain tumor dood) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834187) |
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Date: January 11th, 2018 3:10 AM Author: Ocher galvanic stage did she remember anything from that time? if you both lost time like that it could have been an alien abduction (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#35130650) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 7:28 PM Author: self-absorbed den kid whose house I sometimes went to after school pulled a knife on me and threatened to kill me
my sis got followed home by some creepy guy in a creepy car from her bus stop. unmistakably was following her b/c we were in the middle of a suburban neighborhood with a lot of twists and turns and he was literally just rolling along behind her
some kids physically abused a kid with down syndrome. it was pretty sad because he was a really nice kid
i rubbed some chick's doll in dogshit on the playground when i was in second grade (mostly goaded on by some punk kid i was friends with), and the teacher punished us by making us each take ten whiffs of the doll up close. in retrospect it was a pretty 180 punishment |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 11:57 PM Author: garnet massive laser beams lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830422) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 11:58 PM Author: Jade swashbuckling tank water buffalo that is a fucking awesome punishment (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830428) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:06 AM Author: Very tactful violet gaping today she'd be fired for sure (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830475) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:51 AM Author: Heady confused giraffe thanks libs! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830679) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:58 AM Author: Big Indigo Theater Stage Factory Reset Button (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830698) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 3:40 PM Author: Sapphire legend she'd be facing jail time today (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24839122) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 7:31 PM Author: gold turdskin I was eight and my parents drove by an accident scene: two dads and three kids went bowling, lost traction taking a curve and drove into a big ditch on the side of the road that was full of water. Once in the ditch, they couldn't open their doors. Bystanders had to shatter the windshield under three+ feet of water to get them out, but they were all drowned at that point. Mom realized there were bodies in the street surrounded by a crowd and told me and my bro to look away as we drove by - of course I didn't, and caught a glimpse of at least one kid laying there, roughly my age, white as a ghost. Haunts me to this day.
Shit fucked me up bigtime, and made me terrified of driving near water for years. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:28 AM Author: Out-of-control Business Firm Whoa (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830565) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 1:34 AM Author: gold turdskin Yup. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830829) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 7:32 PM Author: self-absorbed den summon: hemisemidemi (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828769) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:52 AM Author: Heady confused giraffe tcr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830681) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 2:04 AM Author: aphrodisiac beta site feces Why him? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830905) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 2:38 AM Author: gay titillating kitty cat because he did several better versions of this thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830936) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:40 PM Author: fighting puce lodge bbw stfu and link to some of them (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835224) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 7:47 PM Author: Cruel-hearted narrow-minded sanctuary one morning when i was about 5 or 6 my mom left me with my classmate's mom and that mom in turn left us with another classmate's mom who dropped the three of us off at some sort of born again christian bible camp. i was raised catholic and believed in Jesus/God at that point, but we weren't a particularly religious family. anyway, they had all of the children gather together in the church while they read us bible passages and just generally preached about jesus. at some point a group of the "counselors" separated me from the rest of the kids and surrounded me outside on the softball field. i recall there being maybe 8-10 of them, probably late teens to early 20s. they asked me if a i believed in God and Christ and i said i did and they told me that was good. then, they asked what religion i was and if i had accepted the lord and saviour jesus christ into my heart. i told them that i was catholic and that i didn't understand what they meant. they told me that being catholic wasn't good enough and that i would burn in eternal hell if i didn't agree to be "saved" with them at their church. i started crying and told them that i didn't want to do anything and they reiterated that i would go to hell and never be with jesus or my family in heaven unless i did what they told me. they then had me recite some mumbo jumbo and they told me i was now "saved" and a true born again christian. i remember feeling such shame for turning my back on my catholicism and backing down when they pressured me. i have hated born again christians ever since then. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828842) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 7:55 PM Author: Twinkling trailer park coffee pot I vaguely remember being in a bible thumper place and not being happy about it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828871) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 7:59 PM Author: Very tactful violet gaping that's terrible man. evangelicals are insane in general (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828881) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:34 AM Author: Lilac macaca FUCK bro. I was raised catholic and this happened to me at a bible camp too. WTF. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830591) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 1:29 AM Author: Flatulent affirmative action A very similar thing happened to me when I was about 6 years old and I went with my neighbor to sunday school. The sunday school teacher and a group of about 5 adults surrounded me and began pressuring me to read some bible passages and take Jesus in my heart or I'd go to hell. I was terrified and started crying. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830810) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 1:38 PM Author: Cruel-hearted narrow-minded sanctuary sorry bro. what is up with these twisted freaks? really screwed me up at the time. i remember being afraid to go anywhere without my mother for like a year after that. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24832588) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 9:21 PM Author: Flatulent affirmative action They're sick bro. I despise evangelicals now and this experience probably has something to do with it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835631) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:28 PM Author: dark international law enforcement agency My mom used to force us to go to youth group or whatever the fuck the bible study shit is they do for teenagers. I think they had one for like 5th-7th grade and then another one for high school.
I remember I was like 11/12 and just reaching that stage where you start to seriously question some of the shit people tell you, but you're still totally scared of adults and think everything they say is truth.
However I remember them talking about jesus and god and a bunch of shit just didn't really add up to me and i started asking a bunch of questions. I wasn't trying to call anyone out but was genuinely curious. I ended up getting told to shut up and a few weeks later after I asked more questions I got kicked out.
My older brother was in the high school one at the time and pretty much called out the dude who ran it at their junior high youth group and was like wtf you couldn't handle my little brother asking you questions about the shit you supposedly teach so you kicked him out of your class. T
hen my brother called him out on all the hypocrisy of religion and got subsequently kicked out of the high school youth group.
I remember even the priest came over and talked to my older brother and parents, some shit about it was making other kids question the bible, etc.
Shortly thereafter my dad finally confessed to us that he was agnostic atheist and religion was pretty much complete bullshit but he went along with it cause my mom believed it and she wanted to raise us in the church. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:39 PM Author: Cruel-hearted narrow-minded sanctuary you and ur brother sound like good doods (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24833946) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:58 PM Author: dark international law enforcement agency I wish that was true...
my brother is a shitlib and I went to law school. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:43 PM Author: Black Slimy Trust Fund Coldplay Fan Your brother sounds 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24833975) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 8:09 PM Author: comical bearded regret patrolman This douche friend we had was riding his bike up and down the street taunting while everyone else threw balls at him. Someone threw a soccer ball that got perfectly wedged between the ground and front wheel and the bike flipped over...kid flew face first into the concrete. He got life-flighted away so it was overall an entertaining afternoon. I remember being pleased that someone else made the killing blow and would be getting in trouble instead of me. This was before shitlibs and their helmet craze. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828916) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:39 PM Author: orchid azn cumskin 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834214) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 8:13 PM Author: Henna sound barrier incel TPing a house on a three-way corner with a subdivision in front, woods and a field behind. A white panel van drove by, so we hid until it passed, then went back to TPing. Then it drove past going the other direction. We hid again, finished TPing, started to head home on the road through the woods/field. While walking home, we saw the rape van turn onto that road and turn off its headlights. We were fucking terrified and hid in the woods then booked it home. It was clearly sneaking up trying to surprise us still TPing and at best scare the shit out of us, at worst capture/rape/murder us. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24828932) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 11:50 PM Author: fighting puce lodge bbw MOAR!!! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830384) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:07 AM Author: Very tactful violet gaping (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830478) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 11:55 PM Author: kink-friendly station a teacher nun (in full habit) put me over her knee and spanked me in front of the whole class cuz, well...I don't even really know why. I was 7, in a school girl uniform and well...fma, I really feel like I need to shower now, in bleach and lye... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830410) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:05 AM Author: Saffron insane idiot boltzmann Twist, you are a male (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830471) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:08 AM Author: Very tactful violet gaping (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830483) |
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Date: January 13th, 2014 11:57 PM Author: flushed odious cuck therapy When I was 11 my buddies and I saw a guy get shot by police in a parking lot. The dude died. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830420) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:18 AM Author: Saffron insane idiot boltzmann When I was like 7 or 8 we had a bunch of construction being done in our neighborhood and it brought in a bunch of methed out looking degenerates to do work. It was just getting dark and I was walking the 2 blocks home from trading IFNB cards with my buddy. 2 scuzzy ass dudes pulled up in a shittruck and said "you going fishing little man?" I just ingored and kept walking, I was carrying my book full of IFNB cards, nothing even remotely related to fishing. They just kept slowly driving next to me and saying shit about how I should go fishing with them. This went on for 40 seconds or so when they stopped and said "hey, get in, your mom said your coming fishing with us" and one dude started to get out. I was close to home but not close enough, i knew my neighbors so I ran and jumped the fence, then knocked on their back sliding door panicked, they answered and by the time I told them the dudes were gone. They walked me home and my cousins were visiting, my mom was shaken, cousins called me a faggot, and my dad laughed and said now he felt like fishing the next day. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830524) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 1:30 AM Author: yapping haunted graveyard elastic band What happened to your cards? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830815) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 1:50 AM Author: Saffron insane idiot boltzmann Threw them down before I jumped the fence and picked them up later. LOL, this is like one of the most vivid parts, I remember having to make the choice to leave them behind. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830880) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:33 AM Author: Out-of-control Business Firm I got roofied in a big way, but it wasn't until I was older. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830586) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:36 AM Author: Very tactful violet gaping go on... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830607) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 2:07 AM Author: aphrodisiac beta site feces I would like to hear more about this. Also a/s/l? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830916) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 2:50 AM Author: mewling khaki market philosopher-king When I was in fourth grade a neighbors kid who was in seventh grade started a fight with me. Thereafter, the kids dad came out and started yelling at me. My dad came out and punched him in the face. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24830950) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 11:43 AM Author: yapping haunted graveyard elastic band 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24831948) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 2:29 PM Author: Very tactful violet gaping (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24832946) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 3:00 AM Author: gay titillating kitty cat this is not really the most fucked-up, but it is the most cruel i can a remember a trusted adult acting toward me.
i was in 1st or 2nd grade music class. i went to a shitty and poor semi-rural grade school that was the only elementary for a massive area, so two classes of a single grade would combine for gym, music, art, whatever. so it was probably 50-60 kids in the class - a pretty decent size.
the teacher, a middle aged spinster, told us several times that it was encouraged to play any music we had learned privately for the class, if we wanted. for some reason i liked the idea of performing for my class, had been taking piano lessons for about three months, and one day i let her know that i had something to play on the beat-up wurlizter. i don't even remember what the song was, probably just some song exercise thing that i memorized from my lesson book and thought sounded cool enough to play.
i get to the piano, start playing, then someone sneezes, coughs, or i don't know, but i have never played for anyone except my family and piano teacher, and so i immediately get distracted and freeze. i can't remember how it went at all, so instead i just play like some harmonious but totally shitty and made-up melody while playing some chords. by that point i had kind of figured out some scales and such, so it didn't sound like crazy, grating free jazz, but it would have been clear to anyone except little kids that i was just making shit up.
i made kind of a show of ending it and had even remembered some of the gist of the song about 30 seconds later, but it was way too late to recover. i finished, stood up, polite clapping - i was amazed and elated to see nobody cared or noticed and i had somehow made it out of that situation.
then the music teacher gets up and asks the class, "if you liked that, let's have him play it one more time and see if it sounds the same as before."
i could not fucking believe it. the next few moments are a blur, but i immediately stammered something about how "well, actually, that song has a 2nd part to it that i didn't play before, so i'll just play that." then i just made up like a pathetic 20 seconds worth of shit that sounded vaguely like what i played before, i think.
no polite applause or anything except blank stares the second time. i just got up and marched over to my regular seat with my head down. the teacher didn't even say anything about it and just started teaching the class.
i was a shy kid at that point and never did anything to cause problems or even really call attention to myself. but later that year, during parent-teacher conferences, she gave me a low grade ('S' something, however that grading system worked), and made a note that i was "disruptive" or something like that. my parents weren't really pissed, but they asked me why she would do something like that. i suspected it was because of the incident and was terrified to tell them about it, for no good reason.
i've thought about this over the years, and the only conclusion i can come to is that the was a mean old cunt who didn't really like children and that was like a private jackass stunt for her. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 10:07 AM Author: floppy house nowag what a bitch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24831541) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 8:02 AM Author: walnut famous landscape painting weed whacker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584541) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 10:11 AM Author: Claret Goal In Life Pervert 180 reminder that some people are just awful (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24831563) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 2:28 PM Author: Very tactful violet gaping (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24832939) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 11:50 AM Author: obsidian hall mother lots of elementary school teachers are just like this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24831974) |
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Date: January 23rd, 2014 1:49 AM Author: Ocher galvanic stage Almost as sadistic as American Airlines (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24881680) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 5:49 AM Author: Indecent personal credit line I'm convinced the reason so many people don't back funding our public schools at higher levels is due to the few bad memories most people have in school. On the whole, most students do poorly or just average, and few of those students liked being there. Even some of the higher achieving students hated school and some of their teachers. So you have a majority of graduates with kind of negative views of their public school and years later they remember that at the ballot box. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584375) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 6:21 AM Author: Bateful brilliant foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584418) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 5:47 AM Author: Indecent personal credit line This might be pathetic, but if it is something you think about, send her a letter. If you're polite but to the point, I think you might even get an apology from her. At the worst you get to tell her off. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584367) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:02 AM Author: thriller lay 2nd grade music teacher would escort boys into the bathroom when they had to go during class. "ok kids doug and I are taking a potty trip, play hot cross buns until we get back". this really freaked me out so I would always make sure to go before or just hold it in until the end of class. one day my bladder was bursting tho and I raised my hand, he took me to the bathroom (inside the room) and just stood motionless staring straight ahead 5 feet behind me while I peed.
one of my bros and I told one of the other teachers and we got called liars, sent to the office for an afternoon, bad comments on report card etc. no idea why I never told parents. no idea where that teacher is now. "Mr. Rivers". |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:13 AM Author: sooty stain I got the chat from my dad and uncle and a couple of their friends. They called me into the garage, where they had layed down a tarp, and covered it in oil. I was instructed to strip down as they all wanted to see "that athletic body you have been working on" (i had begun doing 100 pushups a night and was quite vocal about "bulking" at the dinner table). Once naked I recieved a light push onto the lube coverd tarp. I soon lost my balance and was unalbe to gain a solid footing. At this point I noticed all of the adult men had strategically put on aquasox for traction, but nothing else.
As they came closer i could see nothing but thick, hairy engorged cocks and duck egg like testicles begging to be tugged. Within minutes I was being spitroasted by my uncle and father, i would have begged for it to stop, but i was stuffed to the hilt. After they had dumped a good amount of seed into me, they said "have at it boys, it's ready for ya" and the rest of the group descended on all of my orofices. Theis ordeal lasted about 4 hours.
I was nearly delirous and was completely exhausted when it ended. I had eaten my fair share of man juice and had taken at least 10 enemas worth in my now, pulsating and gaped near prolapse anus. I looked up as the men grunted with approval at their work. My father beamed with pride and walked over to me and offered me a hand up, he helped me to my feet and gave me a slap on the rear, "you did good boy, real good. now you're a man, a twink, but a man, one day you'll have a son and you'll show him what it takes to be a man, by that day, you'll be a bear like all of us." He then french kissed me for what seemed like 20 seconds. After we broke, he offered me my first beer and some dipping tobacco. later, as the crowd dispersed, my father and I entered into our home. My mother was there, with a first aid kit and beaming with pride, "how did he do" she asked my father. "Great, we raised a real little faggot, he's got a power bottom on him!" That was my 12th birthday.
My mother, father, and his friends were liberals. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:40 AM Author: Saffron insane idiot boltzmann (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24831345) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 9:00 PM Author: Heady confused giraffe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835417) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 6:21 AM Author: Bateful brilliant foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584421) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 8:04 AM Author: walnut famous landscape painting weed whacker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584544) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 10:01 AM Author: exhilarant base When we were 4 or 5, me and two other neighbor kids used to jump on this old spring bed in my friend's house and when his live-in Russian grandmother, who didn't speak a word of English, would come in to yell at us and tell us to stop, all three of us would whip out our dicks and start slapping it (luckily just our own). We had no idea what it meant at the time but I can only imagine the horror that poor woman felt. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24831521) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 11:44 AM Author: yapping haunted graveyard elastic band I'm sure she'd seen far worse in her life (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24831954) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:09 PM Author: sooty stain (Valen2) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834409) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 11:41 AM Author: fighting puce lodge bbw Bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24831936) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 12:06 PM Author: Arousing whorehouse lettuce reserved for later I've got s couple you bros are definitely calling flame on |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:09 PM Author: Arousing whorehouse lettuce when I was in kindergarten, there was this future babe named Brittany who I wascrushing on. I remember having a dream where she was totally naked and was then covered in cchocolate by some waterfall showerhead type chocolate sprayer device. that's all I remember. then one day my mom told me that my parents had to go somewhere really early, and someone would have to bring me to school, and asked who should do it. I said I wanted to go to Brittany's house. my mom hooked it up. now, it's kinda fuzzy from there, but I remember her sister having a parrot that was super cool. anyways, that day I went over there and her mom took us to school, but I didnt know I was getting picked up at her house later too...so after aschool we were playing in her room or something, and we both end up basically playing doctor, but also taking turns licking each other's buttholds. no clue how. That was the only time I ever went to her house.
we used to play bball at the playground at my school after school and on weekends. this black hoodrat who was lile 4 years older started fucking with my crew. these two twins had an older half brother and they told him about it. some day later, the brother came early to wait and watch for this kid. sure enough, he fucked with us and made off with our ball. older bro, who is like 18-20 to our 9, comes out from around the corner and picks this kid up and full on body slams him on the court. KO'd. while unconscious, he breaks the kid's fucking arm by stomping on it while it was angled up on a rock. turns out older bro was a psycho and racist as hell.
one day we got locked down in our school after hours because there was a hostage standoff in our area. turns out a kid in my grade's dad was menacing the block with a gun and was holding his wife inside. ending up killing himself while his kid was stuck on his bus waiting for it to be resolved.
army brought all this inflatable shit to my school for some fitness week stuff. a kid fell off the top of this huge blowup slide thing amd broke his head on the bball court below. dead.
girl got off the bus and walked in front of it between it and another car. third car came and smashed into the car, girl got pinned and her leg got busted off. like 3rd grade. her name was jade. she never came back to school. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:13 PM Author: Twinkling trailer park coffee pot Did you grow up in Russia? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24833765) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:17 PM Author: Arousing whorehouse lettuce nyet (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24833791) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:20 PM Author: yapping haunted graveyard elastic band Jesus, can you describe a little more about the inflatable slide kid? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834496) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:38 PM Author: Arousing whorehouse lettuce it was basically the mother of all bouncy houses and jungle gyms put together. it had different zones and stuff for different activities, but you weren't always "in" it. you were also sometimes "on" it. the army packs it up and takes it with them like carnival rides. not exactly foolproof. I guess this kid found himself off the beaten path on this structure, if you will. fell from like 25 feet up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834608) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 1:59 PM Author: Cruel-hearted narrow-minded sanctuary One more.
So, I have this psychopathic aunt, maybe 15 years older than me, who used to occasionally babysit me when i was very young. she is certifiably anti-social - swastikas and curse words tattooed all over her body - in and out of mental hospitals and juvenile detention centers - arrested multiple times for trickrolling johns, etc. her favorite thing to do was to bring home stray cats to my grandmother's house and torture/train them until they became extremely aggressive and dangerous. she gave them "cute" pet names like Dummy, Stupid and Hitler. my grandmother's house was a true "house of horror" - filled with 30 some odd psycho cats, smelling like a giant litter box, cat shit and puked up furballs everywhere you stepped.
anyway...at some point my aunt got this boyfriend who was totally bugged out (bulging eyes, flat affect, etc) on anti-psychotics. i'm no more than 5 years old at the time and the two of them are babysitting me and my older sister. the boyfriend turns to me on the couch, drops his Nintendo controller and says "what do you think Bones would do to him?" Bones was the meanest, most aggressive cat in the house, and I was deathly afraid of it. My aunt laughs "let's find out." i start screaming and crying at the top of my lungs - then hyperventilating. the three of them box me in on the couch (yeah, my older sister was an anti-social creep too) and then my aunt goes over and grabs Bones off the radiator. boyfriend says with his creepy emotionless stare "wow. look how scared he is." my aunt starts laughing hysterically and then my sister joins in too. then, i'll never forget the face of my aunt towering over me, holding Bones above her head, saying "Haha. Cry, little baby. Cry." I roll up into the fetal position and then she says "it's ok, I'm not going to throw Bones on you." I removed my hands from my face and turned toward her and BAM!!! she throws Bones right at my face and the cat starts clawing the shit out of me. I don't really remember what happened next. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 2:21 PM Author: trip forum genital piercing lol jfc man (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24832887) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 2:25 PM Author: Very tactful violet gaping holy god
MOAR about your fucked up family please! |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 3:16 PM Author: fighting puce lodge bbw lol wtf man (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24833312) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:34 PM Author: Geriatric kitchen And now u poast. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24833916) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:36 PM Author: razzmatazz deep stag film (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24833931) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 7:28 PM Author: startled salmon community account what the fuck. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834828) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:44 PM Author: Heady confused giraffe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835270) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 7:13 AM Author: Beady-eyed Stubborn Abode Holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24837595) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 5:04 PM Author: ebony wonderful selfie (xo p (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24839642) |
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Date: January 23rd, 2014 1:56 AM Author: Ocher galvanic stage well that delivered (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24881711) |
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Date: January 24th, 2014 6:13 AM Author: histrionic university 5 years old and you remember it this clearly? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24887725) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 8:06 AM Author: walnut famous landscape painting weed whacker JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST
This has to be flame. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:16 PM Author: Very tactful violet gaping goat thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24833781) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:35 PM Author: thriller lay 1st grade, opened stall to take a lil #2.
saw kid with entire face straight up smeared with shit.
closed door, walked back to recess. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:37 PM Author: Very tactful violet gaping could he have been the recipient of a chocolate swirly? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24833936) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:38 PM Author: thriller lay no idea, he was in K so deff possibly he was getting owned (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24833943) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:35 PM Author: Electric state quadroon Who shits in school? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834188) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 2:56 AM Author: rambunctious shitlib principal's office Cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24837413) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:40 PM Author: thriller lay few bros of mine pinned down a guy in 1st grade and scooped his glass eye out of his face (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24833959) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:01 PM Author: Vigorous ungodly fanboi alpha U knew someone with a glass eye? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834054) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:38 PM Author: chartreuse cerebral son of senegal resort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834209) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 4:54 PM Author: Naked internet-worthy box office When I was maybe 9, a kid who I was semi-friends with was a huge Ken Griffey Jr fan, as I was. We often used to trade baseball and hockey cards. One day, he was showing off a ne Griffey card that I wanted. I offered him all sorts of trades, but he loved the card and rejected all of them. He put it back in his stack of like ~200 cards in one of those hard plastic protective cases and left the case in his desk. When we were out for recess, I snuck back into the class, went through his stack of cards, stole the Griffey one and went back outside. I felt terrible because I was a pretty honest kid for the most part.
We come back in from recess and he starts going through his cards, and I'm sitting there getting ready to lie my ass off when he finds out it's missing. I am in utter shock when he pulls the same card from the stack again. He must have had a duplicate without realizing it, or Jesus turned the 1 card to 2. I was incredibly weirded out by the whole thing for weeks. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:04 PM Author: Cruel-hearted narrow-minded sanctuary lol. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834066) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:05 PM Author: cyan razzle temple trump supporter whoa. you in fact kept the griffey card? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834069) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:08 PM Author: Naked internet-worthy box office Yeah, still have it somewhere. I had never really stolen from another person that I can remember, especally not in such an elaborate way. He was a weird, sensitive kid too, so I was sitting there feeing incredibly guilty and trying to steel myself to lie if he started crying when he found it missing. I was so shocked and relieved by the whole thing, but it really shook me for some reason. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834081) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:33 PM Author: Geriatric kitchen Fitting moniker. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834178) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:29 PM Author: swollen sinister marketing idea organic girlfriend Whoa.
When I was in 5th grade this little shit stole a Ken Griffey Jr. card that I had. It was in a three ring binder with those plastic sleeves that held the cards. This one kid J offered me a bunch of trades for the card but I didn't want to do it because the Beckett said it was worth like $30. One day J told me that he saw this other kid going through my desk. I checked and didn't notice anything gone. I noticed the Griffey was missing a few days after that. For whatever reason I never told the teacher or did anything about it because I thought I had lost it. The kid that J said was going through my desk was a good friend and wasn't even into baseball cards, so I figured he couldn't have stolen it.
A few years later I realized that little shit J had definitely stolen my Griffey and tried to frame the other kid. By this time he had moved so I never got to ask him about it. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:06 PM Author: Glassy Adventurous Electric Furnace Home Dick move bro. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834394) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: Very tactful violet gaping (judas) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834523) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:00 PM Author: Black Slimy Trust Fund Coldplay Fan Girl on my street was hanging out at our house outside. We were probably 4 or 5. She said she had to go to the bathroom and her parents weren't home. For some reason my mom said she couldn't use ours. The girl then shit herself (I think it was pretty watery/messy too). Have no clue what happened after that or how she got home in that state. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834052) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:35 PM Author: Geriatric kitchen Classic 80s. Four year old girl hanging out with neighborhood boys while her parents leave the house to go do something. Even the bitchy mom who thought that girl was too trashy to use the toilet rings true. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834189) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:37 PM Author: obsidian hall mother wtf sort of person will let someone in their house but won't let them use the toilet? was this a weird, unexplainable 80's thing? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834200) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:47 PM Author: Black Slimy Trust Fund Coldplay Fan We were outside, not in the house. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834252) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:10 PM Author: obsidian hall mother still seems weird (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834422) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:18 PM Author: Black Slimy Trust Fund Coldplay Fan There's a huge difference btwn in your yard and in your house. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834485) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:26 PM Author: obsidian hall mother idk. if i was a little kid and said "hey mom this is my friend billy he lives down the street can he use our bathroom?" i can't imagine her saying no. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834539) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:35 PM Author: Black Slimy Trust Fund Coldplay Fan Yeah even at the time I remember being like "....ok...." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834594) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:09 PM Author: Geriatric kitchen That was never because they were outside, as OP mentioned. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834412) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:48 PM Author: Black Slimy Trust Fund Coldplay Fan The weird thing is my mom is really 180 and I honestly have no idea (neither does she) why she said no. Maybe b/c we didn't know the girl that well or something. She probably said no and thought nothing else of it. Don't even know if she knew at the time that the girl shit herself.
Edit: Also I'm a girl. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:25 PM Author: Very tactful violet gaping what sort of cunt doesnt let a little girl use their restroom? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834533) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:04 PM Author: Naked internet-worthy box office When I was about 5 or 6, I was playing with my brother and 2 cousins in the public park behind my cousin's house. We were all between 4-8 years old. Some dude in his 30s who, from what I remember, looked like Jim Carrey in Dumb & Dumber came up and started talking to us. He was like "Hey, do you guys know where there's a bathroom I can use?" One of us said, "Just pee in the bushes." And he was like "Oh, Ha ha ha. Yeah, that's a good idea." He then exposed himself to us, and sort of walked a few steps over to a tree or bush and started pissing. We sort of just stood there laughing, and then went on playing and at some point he just left. Told our parents when we went back to my cousins and they were furious, started warning us about perverts in the park. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834068) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:19 PM Author: Cruel-hearted narrow-minded sanctuary alright, a couple more:
when i was 9, my blood counts were up so my doctor let me leave the hospital to spend an afternoon with my mother. we went to Wendy's and then my mom took me down to the waterfront to catch some fresh air. it was february and i remember it being cold as hell. so we're walking along the lakefront path and i notice what looks like some sort of animal floating by in the water. i tell my mom, "hey, look how long that duck has had his head under the water." then, as it floated closer i noticed it had some sort of garment on and i say "why is that duck wearing a gray jacket?" Right then we realize it's a dead body floating by (I know, "big whoop" to the Indians on this board, but it was a big deal to a young white kid at the time). We called 911 and the coast guard came out and fished the body out in front of us. really bloated and messed up looking. watched the news that night in the hospital and it turns out it was some mental patient who escaped and went missing a few weeks earlier.
when i was older, 12 or 13, there was this kid in our neighborhood that everyone hated. just a whiner, sucked at sports and just generally wasn't a chill kid. most of the older boys in the neighborhood were pretty merciless in their teasing and physical bullying. one summer day the teasing got particularly out of hand and he threatened to kill himself. of course, most of the guys goaded him on to do it. he went home in tears and came back a while later with a rope and proceeded to hang himself off of a tree. the worst kids just started taunting him as he hung there. i ran into my garage and grabbed my dad's machete and cut him down before too much damage was done. then i walked him home and told his dad what happened. his family moved away within a month and i never saw him again. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:53 PM Author: excitant useless idea he suggested Fucking hell, dood! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834302) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:27 PM Author: Very tactful violet gaping moar please and ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834545) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 9:12 PM Author: exciting tan wagecucks fortuitous meteor When did you leave Detroit? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835549) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:43 PM Author: obsidian hall mother when i was in kindergarten, so i guess 4-5 years old, i came running into the kitchen, slipped, and hot my head really badly. my vision was blurry for a little while after that and i started vomiting. parents were FREAKING OUT and drove me to the hospital and apparently doctors separately questioned them to make sure that i wasn't being abused.
it was just a really bad concussion but pretty damn traumatic at the time. even over 20 years later i still think about it fairly often. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:44 PM Author: orchid azn cumskin I don't remember how it happened, but my 2nd grade teacher chose selected me to be what amounted to an "afternoon massage boy." Just about every afternoon at some point I would end up rubbing her neck and shoulders at her desk for what seemed like 10, 20, maybe 30 minutes. It made me incredibly horny. I'm not sure if it's what caused me to be attracted to older women (she was probably 40 something), or if I gravitated towards it because I already had a predisposition to be attracted to older women. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834240) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 5:55 PM Author: Glassy Adventurous Electric Furnace Home There was an abandoned house one neighborhood over from me that kids knew about. It was called Old Man Miller's. It was sort of a right of passage when you were around 10 to go in when it was dark and go up to the 3rd floor.
My friend Ray and I decided to go do it one Saturday during the winter. Was probably like 8 pm. I was scared as fuck, but Ray had told people that week in school we were doing it, so I felt like I couldn't not do it because of the shit we would get in school.
Anyway, we went in the backdoor and I remember the moldy smell to this day. We quickly made our way to the steps which were in a really bad state of disrepair. Some of the steps were rotted out. Got to the 2nd level and it was creepy as fuck, but nothing too bad. But then we started making our way up to the 3rd floor I heard something up there. I froze on the steps with my buddy right behind me. I turned to look back at him to tell him I heard something when his eyes which were looking up the stairs opened wide as fuck. I instinctively looked up and saw a huge fucking black man. He was at least 6'3" and looked like he was 250 lbs. He mumbled something incoherent and started down the stairs. I wheeled around to run down the stairs and my friend was still frozen and only managed a scream. I shoved him down the stairs and he may have hit 2 stairs out of 6 on the way down to the 2nd level, but he didn't fall. He turned the corner for the next level quickly and I was at full speed with the black dude maybe 5 stairs behind me. I was yelling HELP as we made our way to the 1st level and full on sprinted out the back door. I was afraid to look back until we were about 50 yards from the house (I passed Ray as soon as we got outside), but when I did the black guy was outside the house but had stopped chasing us.
Definitely the most frightened I have been in my entire life. He was probably just a bum sleeping there, but needless to say I never went back and I told my younger brother never to go there when his friends gave him any peer pressure. Let them call you a pussy I told him. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:28 PM Author: Very tactful violet gaping wow what a racist story (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834555) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:32 PM Author: Cruel-hearted narrow-minded sanctuary (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834582) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:45 PM Author: Glassy Adventurous Electric Furnace Home Identifying him as black is racist? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834651) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 7:12 PM Author: bipolar scarlet office pistol I swear guys this house is abandoned (pre-2014 Rudolph) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834772) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 7:46 PM Author: Glassy Adventurous Electric Furnace Home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834886) |
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Date: January 23rd, 2014 3:45 AM Author: thirsty crackhouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24882047) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 6:06 AM Author: wine seedy volcanic crater i loled (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584395) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:44 PM Author: obsidian hall mother went to a week long sleep away camp for boy scouts when i was around 12 years old. our scout leader would wake up at dawn every day and go swimming in the ocean with people and would pretty much be the last person to go to sleep because he was always helping people with merit badges. also made us stay up late one night to put up some sort of wooden structure to make sure that we won the "best troop" award or w/e. doubt he got more than 4 hours of sleep a night.
second to last night some kids threw a pringles can filled with smoke bombs down a hill and he just snapped. we were all goofing off later on and oneof the dads was like "mr. T has been in his tent all day because you guys have been so rough to him" etc. last day we had to go around in a circle and mention something that he did which we appreciated. some kid stole what i was going to say but i made something up.
i saw him for a second before my mom picked me up and he just looked exhausted. looking back i wonder what the hell made him drive himself so hard to the point of a nervous breakdown for a stupid boy scouts summer camp. i remember he was also insistent on keeping the fire going for as long as possible, he would get right next to that fucker and throw on more sticks and adjust the logs all night. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:41 PM Author: Out-of-control Business Firm Subtly haunting; underrated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835231) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2014 8:38 AM Author: Cracking maize private investor meetinghouse Boy Scouts is on the list of shit I will never let my kids do (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24940945) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:46 PM Author: comical bearded regret patrolman In 6th grade we used to swipe handfulls of salt packets from lunch and then pwn people at after-lunch recess by "salting" them. There was this one annoying dork that we pwned particularly badly, filling his hood with salt and then pulling it over his head. Later we were chilling next to a building and a rock whizzed past my head and clanged off the building. I looked up and saw the dork kid and yelled "LET'S GET 'EM BOYS" and we chased him down and I held him while my friend pegged him in the stomach with rocks. Then later in the principal's office I acted like a huge bitch and sold my friend out for some reason, referring to him as the "ringleader." (I think it was because I wasn't involved in the salting that day and it didn't seem fair that I'd be punished). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834653) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 6:50 PM Author: orchid azn cumskin Pepper packets would have been much more credited (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24834670) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 9:17 PM Author: exciting tan wagecucks fortuitous meteor Lib friend mixes the two (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835593) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 7:02 PM Author: Black Slimy Trust Fund Coldplay Fan One time all the neighborhood kids went out trick or treating together with no parents. First time we did that. I was probably 11 or 12 and there were like 10 of us, so there was safety in our numbers. We got to one house and a middle-aged guy answered. He said the candy was just inside and to come on in. Some of the kids started to go in and I said loudly "no thanks, we'll stay out here." The guy closed the door. I couldn't believe I had to explain to everyone that you don't go into strangers' houses for candy because FUCKING DUH. We waited like five full minutes and the guy never came out. We just sort of slowly backed away Simpsons-style and went on to the next house.
I wasn't familiar with the neighborhood and have no idea what house it was, but it always creeped me the fuck out. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 7:09 PM Author: swollen sinister marketing idea organic girlfriend When I was 10 I went to a 4H summer camp. There was this kid Will in my cabin who was 14 who was basically a grown man already, almost 6' and played football. The rest of us were like 10-11 and barely hitting puberty. We idolized Will because he was older and a lot cooler than us and did stuff like make out with one of the counselors who was probably like 17.
One day I went to the cabin after a group activity and Will had everybody in the living room area of the cabin. Will was holding a broken broom handle and there were like ten kids sitting on the couches just looking scared shitless. Will said we were playing the quiet game. So we all sat there for like an hour while Will fucked with people and made them do shit like eat stuff out of the garbage. Anybody who didn't comply got caned with the broom handle. It wasn't anything weird or sexual. One kid had to go to the bathroom and Will told him he had thirty seconds. Will counted down and ran in the bathroom, pulled him out of the stall and caned his ass. Another kid tried to run out of the cabin and Will chased him down and caned the kid a couple times. Me and my two good friends thought it was hilarious because we were friends with Will and he didn't really fuck with us.
After about an hour one of the counselors came back to the cabin and we just acted like nothing had happened. He would have gotten away with it but the kid who got caned trying to run went and tattled to his dad. Will got sent home that night. |
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Date: January 23rd, 2014 3:48 AM Author: thirsty crackhouse LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24882052) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2014 8:44 AM Author: Cracking maize private investor meetinghouse Will sounds like kind of a faggot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24940953) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 7:52 PM Author: comical bearded regret patrolman We had this perfect chokepoint set up to nail cars with water balloons...alleys on opposite sides of the street one slightly after the other, and both with a shitload of crosspaths between houses where you could cross to other streets. The guy in the first alley would throw and taunt right as they were passing so they would be too far to turn down the alley and follow, then the second alley guy would nail them right as they backed up and started turning in to follow the first guy.
One time the first thrower managed to throw the balloon THROUGH the window of an SUV with leather seats and an angry black guy inside. Then he pointed and yelled "HA, HA HA, YOU'RE A NIGGER!! YOU'RE A NIGGER!!!" The second thrower froze up and fled because the first guy had gone too far, and the black dude hauled ass on foot and chased down the first guy, tackled him, threw him down, and made him call his parents and pay for the seats.
Another time, we were throwing them from my friends backyard (nearby the first chokepoint) between some thick trees. It was thought that nobody would be able to tell where they came from. We had also upgraded to water+shaving cream balloons. We fucking SPLATTERED the hood of a car and heard it screech to a stop, ran inside his house, and were sitting there laughing. This motherfucker KICKS THE DOOR IN and starts yelling at us...he was an off duty cop. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:20 PM Author: comical bearded regret patrolman Should ad that the decimation at the hands of the black guy effectively marked the end of that form of lulz. Obtaining true glory and honor was dependent on the sacred bond of brotherhood between the first and second throwers. The first thrower was charged with the duty of staging audacious assaults on dangerous targets and then taunting his heart out to ensure he would be followed and that the second thrower would be safe. The second thrower was charged with the duty of pinpoint accuracy and unwavering commitment to execute his part after the operation commenced. After the system broke down that day, first throwers started going after "safe" targets and we got bored of the whole endeavor, whereas before everyone did their best to constantly up the ante. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835091) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 3:06 PM Author: exhilarant base 180.
We had similar set ups but I grew up in the east coast alley-less burbs so we generally would just chuck, affirm a hit, see if they got out to chase, and then get the fuck out if they did. Taunting is ballsy. The only time we set up a chokepoint was by getting the whole squad to roll out snow boulders into the street, then pelting the drivers as they approached our obstacles. We would throw from either an empty tree lined lot at the end of our block or some shut-in's massive corner estate at the other end. Both spots had exit runs that led between the houses and back to one of our backyards. We progressed to throwing some pretty serious shit, like grounds for projectile missile charges, and eventually called the whole thing off when we broke the windshield of some faggot who drove a jetta in our neighborhood and lived along the escape path. The worst it ever got as far as heat was one time a driver we had dinged with snowballs followed us back to my friend's house and banged on the door but luckily parents were not home and he relented. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:14 PM Author: gay titillating kitty cat another weird incident this thread made me recall.
when i was probably 8 or 9, i got sent to spend a week visiting my grandmother in a neighboring state. as soon as i got there, she had some kind of chest pains of something and had to be checked into the hospital for a few days, so my shitty alcoholic obese aunt was in charge of me during that time. she lived nearby so she just came and stayed at my grandma's place.
she didn't really want to entertain me or anything, so she had one of her lowlife friends drop her son off, who was around my age. he was alright at first, just kind of a standard kid and we got along normally, although i could tell he'd had a much rougher upbringing and he was a little fucked up. my normal way of getting to know someone would be to talk about sports, movies, cartoons, any bullshit kids stuff where you can find common ground before just cutting loose and fucking around. he started out our dialog by bragging that he had seen his cousin showering and had a clear view of her butthole. no idea how old the cousin was. he also told me that it would be really cool if i could swipe one of my grandma's kitchen knives because he was getting into collecting knives and he knew people that were in the knife-fighting scene.
eventually we went back to his place to hang out. his mom (single mother, only child), lived in an apartment that was near this crappy 9-hole rural golf course. the kind of place where every single dude out there is in a t-shirt and wearing oakley razors. apparently the kid frequently set up a 'juice stand' along the rough on one of the holes and that's what he wanted to do that day. i guess this was ok since there weren't course marshals or anything and the golfers didn't really give a fuck. this idea seemed incredibly stupid and embarrassing to me, because as an 8 year old, i associated lemonade stands with little girls being supervised by their parents. i had also already been golfing with my dad some and thought how weird it would be to see two unsupervised kids selling 'juice' on the course. but i was so happy that i wasn't stuck with my piece of shit aunt all day that i was willing to go along with it.
first of all, the kid just made a huge pitcher of some kind of walmart brand crystal light knock-off, one packet for like two gallons of juice, so it was basically water. then he looged in it at least twenty times and then contemplated having us piss in the juice, which i didn't want to do because A) what the fuck, and B) there is no way we wouldn't get caught and/or have our asses kicked because the 'juice' was essentially water and there would be no disguising the piss. he finally relented on that, so we went out and set up the 'stand.' looking back, it seems clear that he wanted to try out the piss idea when some weird new kid was involved because he could probably blame it all on me once we got busted, but i wouldn't let it happen.
not a single dude bought any juice, but a couple cool guys who were just out swinging and crushing beers gave us some cash anyway. as i predicted, the large majority of golfers were either like "get the fuck out of here, people are trying to play golf," or they just broke our balls with shit like "selling juice? don't you little dudes have any cool shit to do on a summer day?" it was fucking embarrassing.
eventually the kid's friend bill showed up. bill was the same age, but like clinically obese and very obviously a fucked up kid. he would shout NIGGER at the golfers, talked shit to any dude that approached the stand, and basically acted way more belligerent than i was used to. at first i almost enjoyed his company, because i had rarely seen a kid our age that was so fearless about wildly cursing out grown men for no reason. he had zero other redeeming qualities, but i have a distinct memory of the kid yelling at some guy "hey, come buy some of our juice!" the guy yells back "sorry, i got some from the kids on the 6th hole already!" bill almost fell over he shot out of his chair so rapidly and screamed at the top of his lungs "THIS IS THE 6TH YOU SHITTY FUCKER SHUTUP." bill mostly sucked, but that almost saved the day for me.
at the end of the day, it was time to split up the huge earnings of $22 or so. i don't remember the actual tally but it wasn't much. by this time, the uncovered cooler of juice had been heating in the sun all day, had all kinds of bugs and other shit in it, so we were really just sitting out there begging for money from strangers. the other kid was handling the money, but we made so little that it wasn't hard for me to keep track. so when it's time to split it, he makes this big show of counting out the dollars but tries to pull some slight of hand shit and double counts over a few of the dollars, then tells me my cut is $5. he hands me five ones and immediately divides up the remainder between him and bill.
this really pissed me off because it was obvious what he was doing, and i was already annoyed that we sat out there all day doing nothing but trying to sell spitty juice to strangers in the hot fucking sun for like 6 hours. he and bill had been actively whispering to each other about pulling off this huge scam on me throughout the afternoon, so it didn't come as much of a surprise. at this point i just wanted to get away from these little assholes, but i was stuck there for the time being. i was a pretty mild-mannered kid, but i had had enough and i wasn't going to just lay down and take it.
i demanded a recount several times and told him it was obvious what he was doing and it was shitty. bill got increasingly agitated during this time and eventually told me to stfu and tried to dump the juice on me. i dodged and retaliated by taking one of the folding camping chairs we were using and hitting him with it, knocking off his glasses. bill freaks the fuck out and bolts. his friend doesn't seem to care, in fact seems somewhat quieted and impressed that i took action, so we wordlessly pack up and head home.
as soon as we get there his mom demands to know why i attacked bill. bill's mom had called before we got back to the apartment and was pissed that the kid's mom let him bring some aggressive stranger around bill. i tell her that i want to explain what happened and the kid starts freaking out and shouting "he's lying, he's a liar" before i even get going. he's really worked up, so she drags him back to his room and screams at him for what seemed like a really long time. the shouting and berating was probably more intense than the most pissed off i had ever seen my mom, and she went from zero to rage-out mode almost instantly. i could hear the kid screaming and crying while she dressed him down.
she comes back out, lights a cigarette, and asks me to tell her what happened. i explain the whole deal to her. she says she understands and that this kind of thing happens whenever her kid and bill hang out, and that it's ok.
she proceeds to start opening up to me about how the kid used to be really well behaved and she never had any problems with him, but then - and she says this as she would to an adult - she explains that the kid overheard her having sex with her new boyfriend, and he hasn't been the same since. again, i'm a fucking third grader, i don't know her at all, and she's casually telling me about how her kid started acting out after he overheard her getting plowed by some dude. she goes on to say that her new boyfriend, 'Michelle,' is the wealthy scion of a french family that owns some kind of either airline or airplane manufacturing company, and soon he's going to marry her and move them all to france where they're going to have completely different lives.
she calls my aunt, who is at work, and tells her she should pick me up when she's done. so i just hang out watching TV while this lady drinks and chain smokes in her kitchen and the kid is in his room doing whatever. eventually, Michelle shows up, and my memory is that he's like a fucking caricature of a greasy frenchman. skinny, hairy as fuck, snarl of brown teeth, no chin, and long greasy hair but balding and styled into a kind of mullet/combover. he speaks with a heavy accent and essentially starts tongue fucking the kids mom in the kitchen. i should ad that the mom was like 40ish, 30 lbs. overweight, and not otherwise attractive in any way.
eventually my aunt shows up and by this point the woman has forgotten about all the shit with bill that happened earlier and doesn't even mention it. i sit on the couch while the three of them drink for about an hour and chain smoke. eventually when we leave, i can tell my aunt is at least somewhat drunk (although i didn't really understand how this worked at the time, i thought it was more like she had wild mood swings), and the whole ride home she babbles about how unbelievably jealous she is that her bitch friend has michelle in her life and she'll be rich soon.
when we got back to my grandma's, my aunt drank more and lectured me on how i need to start believing in god and take that seriously. she passed out on the couch snoring after telling me that she couldn't fucking wait until my grandma came back from the hospital so she could have her life back.
you have to understand, i had a very normal suburban upbringing with kindhearted and loving parents, normal siblings, friends, nice house, etc. so this shit was like a different universe to me.
in retrospect, bill was basically an IRL cartman. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:21 PM Author: Naked internet-worthy box office 180 story (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835092) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:26 PM Author: comical bearded regret patrolman it sounds liek you got styled on by an alpha as fuck knife-collecting entrepreneur. wonder what he's doing now, you know he has to be successful.
and on the other hand...u: poast. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:29 PM Author: gay titillating kitty cat not really. i left out the best part which is that the mom took the money from her kid and gave me half of it.
if i had to guess, i would say she kept the other half for smokes and another giant jug of white wine.
i truly felt bad for the kid and i was much more grateful for my family when i went home. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:39 PM Author: comical bearded regret patrolman Hah that's awesome but kind of shitty on your part...that kid put up the capital and means of production and was the brainchild of the business proposal. As a Job Creator he deserved the largest share. Were you pissed at that amount of money? At 8 years old I think I would have been pretty happy with $11, or even $5 for a day's work. I was basically on dat fixed income allowance tip and it took forever to save up for Micro Machines, Battle Beasts, etc. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835209) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:45 PM Author: gay titillating kitty cat i just wasn't going to let the other kid and bill think they were getting one over on me. the thing i remember most vividly is getting really upset when the kid repeatedly tried to do the double-count scam on me. i didn't give a shit about the money, it was principle. frankly, i am pretty sure i could have beat the shit out of the kid or bill because i was taller, more athletic, bill was fat, and the kid was borderline malnourished. but i wasn't the type to ever fight unless i was just fucking around with my brothers and i was really out of my element.
also, it's my recollection that the kid was much, much more interested in getting dudes to drink his spit and potentially piss than he was in making money. once bill showed up we didn't make anymore cash and then the kid wanted to cut the money three ways, so the whole thing was retarded from the start.
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:32 PM Author: Cruel-hearted narrow-minded sanctuary great story. ty for sharing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835150) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:53 PM Author: stirring olive parlour Perfectly white trash (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835346) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 9:00 PM Author: Geriatric kitchen This is a long post, but people who don't read it are making a mistake. It's this kind of daily existence that makes up most of our/are lives. This was a really great vignette and the kind of thing that sticks with you for your entire life. By the time I'm 62 I'll be telling this story in the first person and entirely sure it happened to me.
John Waters would literally option this story if he posted here. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 11:59 PM Author: yapping haunted graveyard elastic band (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24836751) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 3:07 PM Author: jet rigpig garrison (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24838968) |
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Date: January 24th, 2014 6:38 AM Author: histrionic university (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24887738) |
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Date: February 1st, 2014 11:42 PM Author: Heady confused giraffe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24939757) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 1:01 PM Author: Green corner Best story right here and quite well told. 180^180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24838442) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 1:38 PM Author: amber stimulating menage antidepressant drug This is the best thing I've read in a long time (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24838576) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2014 6:40 AM Author: Heady confused giraffe 180 moniker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24940816) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 4:34 PM Author: Duck-like marvelous background story locus I skipped many of the long ones that were fake, but this one was 180 and makes me want to share my own stories (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24839488) |
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Date: January 24th, 2014 6:38 AM Author: histrionic university same Maybe this weekend I'll get drunk and poast in here |
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Date: January 23rd, 2014 2:21 AM Author: Ocher galvanic stage Scholarship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24881800) |
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Date: January 24th, 2014 6:39 AM Author: histrionic university This is storytelling, 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24887740) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 5:26 AM Author: Heady confused giraffe bumping this again (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584313) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 5:56 AM Author: Indecent personal credit line I remember at that age it was pretty commonplace to essentially by a buckwild nig and totally ignore promises made, do that slight of hand shit, try to get people to turn on one another. Little brains, no developed morality. Stupid shit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584385) |
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Date: November 6th, 2019 10:52 PM Author: impertinent partner (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#39082919) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:29 PM Author: hateful spot damn i must've had a real sheltered childhood
I basically just have the standard stuff: hearing your parents fucking, getting spanked (basically all I remember of my dad before age 10 or so) etc.
One time I told a teacher about something benign one of my friends did and he ended up going to guidance counseling for like 5 or 6 years. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 9:01 PM Author: Geriatric kitchen Um, what did he do? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835429) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 8:57 PM Author: Motley shaky prole i used to take the bus to go to school when i was a kid in Beijing. there was no school buses, so we had to take regular buses.
there was this girl from my school who would take the same bus as me, but she wasn't from my class, so i didn't really know her. and because there were a couple of bros from my class who would also take that bus (but they get off earlier than me and the girl), i never had a chance to try to chat her up.
this girl had really high cheek bones, and i thought she was pretty.
this one day, after my bros got off, this girl somehow got into a confrontation with a full fucking grown man, who was trying to get off the bus, but she wouldn't move out of the way or something. he started yelling at her and shit (chink men are disgusting), and she started to bawl.
i was literally fucking shaking in anger, but didn't do SHIT. take into account that i was around 10 at the time and blocked from where this was going down by other people on the crowded bus, but still, FUCK, years later, i still feel like a pussy about this incident. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 9:10 PM Author: comical bearded regret patrolman This sounds like a Main Character Flashback for just about any anime starring a milquetoast protagonist who will go on to unlock his hidden power and save the world (probably a plurality of anime falls into this category) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24835531) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 9:16 PM Author: Motley shaky prole maybe it's a shared experience in Asian societies.
a lot of complete asshole adults here, and Asian kids are generally not socialized to stand up in this situation.
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Date: November 6th, 2019 9:36 PM Author: buck-toothed spectacular circlehead native so you've always been an impotent NOWAG chink with BOIRING BLOOD and no stones. LOL you faggot, kill yourself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#39082568) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 9:01 PM Author: Out-of-control Business Firm My best buddy started losing his shit around age 11. We were all doing minor delinquent shit, smoking, drinking, shoplifting, etc., but he began taking it to a new level. Gave himself tattoos with a needle. Dropped acid. Wrote stories about shooting up our school and talked about them all the time (this was pre-Columbine). Ran away from home multiple times and tried toget me to jump freight trains with him. We both had bucolic mellow upbringings with great parents so I was completely wigged out by this shit and didn't know what to do.
Eventually he attacked his dad with a rolling pin and they sent him away to a series of progressively gnarly boarding schools/homes. I saw him for the first time in ten years recently and I assume he was on heavy anti-psychotics. The spark of intelligence and life was completely gone; he was a shell of a person. Or maybe it was from drug abuse? Either way still makes me very sad for him and his family, who were half-destroyed by it. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 9:19 PM Author: Geriatric kitchen O you youths, western youths, So impatient, full of action, full of manly pride and friendship, Plain I see you, western youths, see you tramping with the foremost, Pioneers! O pioneers! |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 10:25 PM Author: Out-of-control Business Firm (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24836034) |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 9:40 PM Author: comical bearded regret patrolman I had been banned from hanging out with my best friend for a while because some ugly chick lived behind me and was talking shit so after she went inside we pelted her roof with tomatoes from my garden. Fucking hilarious when the girl's dad knocked on our door and asked my mom if we had been throwing tomatoes at his house and the garden was all emptied of tomatoes and I was like "ummm...I don't know what you're talking about." This was on the tail end of other bad shit we did (primarily getting caught sneaking out while on a 5-hour breaking and entering raid on a nearby montessori school, although we claimed to be wrapping houses to avoid stricter punishment). My parents were pretty strict so they barred us from seeing each other for 6 weeks.
Me and my friend were kind of nerdy, but his other best friend was one of the popular kids from a grade below us. This kid was cool and a huge asshole and I started being a much bigger asshole to keep up. We became best buds and constantly hung out over the course of like a month. I sort of liked him better than my other best friend because he was cooler and funnier, and he liked me because I was more amenable to being a dick. We were pretty much constantly giggling like schoolgirls about assholeish shit we did. Like one time he made fun of a girl until she cried and took a swing at him, and then he mockingly got into a fighting stance and said "step up, bitch." In retrospect not that funny but we laughed about it and reenacted it for weeks. We also called a lot of people fags and generally devised clever insults to question their sexuality, and pretty much went on a tear when it came to pranks.
Anyways, I had some porno mags that I kept in the attic hidden under the insulation right at the entrance (for some reason I was OBSESSED with maintaining elaborate protocols for hiding them and only even got them out when my parents weren't home). I make the mistake of telling this kid about them, and he's constantly trying to slip away to pull down the attic stairs and get them while my parents are downstairs. Eventually I give in because I realize I'm less likely to be busted if we just quickly get them out. He's looking at them in my closet for added security and eventually shuts the door. I wait a few minutes and hear my parents start coming up the stairs and opened the door to tell him we needed to hide the mags. He was in there on his knees, dick out, jerking off in my closet.
We didn't hang out much after that, and I was thrilled when another two weeks had passed and I could hang out with my best friend again, even though for a while there I thought he was boring and kind of a pussy and that it might be time to upgrade best friends. But the one thing I can say for that guy is that he never, NEVER jerked off in my closet. |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 10:01 PM Author: fuchsia center double fault There were a few ones I kind of remember:
I was in kindergarten and would like to go into the woods and look for "treasures" like types of rock or pieces of pottery etc. One day I found a cool looking crystal and I organized like 5~10 kids to help me look for more. I was the leader and they all did my bidding. It was kind of awesome, then nap time came and we were done.
The second memory I have is some how I was able to monopolize all the writing instruments in the class (pens, pencils, markers) to the point where no one else had any. I didn't tell anyone that I was doing it, and I don't know why but I did it some how. My teacher found that I had a huge tray full of 100+ writing implements and was fucking furious at me and took them from me and I was like WTF CUNT.
These really aren't that bad.
Another memory I have with my CUNT teacher from 2nd grade who was some bumblescum hick who some how made it into the big city made me write a letter over and over again to some person. I couldn't write well (and still cant except I can type very fast) so she made me rewrite it 5-10x more than anyone else. She was fucking sadistic about it, my hands were cramped and I couldn't go to recess. From that point on I never trusted/typically despised most of the teachers I encountered. She was also so fucking stupid . |
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Date: January 14th, 2014 10:07 PM Author: exciting tan wagecucks fortuitous meteor Neighbor kid was 7-8 years older than me. I played with his younger brother. One day I came over and my friend was gone but I hung around anyway to play cause they had a pinball machine. His mom left and we went up to his room. I distinctly remember he was 13. He grabbed some porn mags and showed them to me. I'd never seen naked women before. Then he whipped out his dick and started jacking off. I looked at the mags for 2-3 more minutes and then left.
He went on to found one of the first local IFBN gym years later. |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 4:41 AM Author: Saffron insane idiot boltzmann his name was........... Dan Otter (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24837512) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 5:35 AM Author: French irradiated new version (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24837529) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 9:22 AM Author: yapping haunted graveyard elastic band (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24837705) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 6:28 AM Author: Bateful brilliant foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584433) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 2:32 AM Author: Flatulent affirmative action When I was about 7 yo my mom took my sister (6 yo) and I grocery shopping with her. When we were done shopping we returned home and she parked the car in the driveway. I noticed an old beat up car park on the street next to our driveway, but I was young and didn't think anything of it.
The three of us exited my mom's car and walked to the rear of it to unload the groceries. A black guy then exited the passenger side of the old beat up car. He ran up to the three of us and pointed a gun at us and demand my mom's purse.
She flung her purse and it landed on the next door neighbor's lawn. Our next door neighbor was out front watering. The neighbor then picked up the purse and started running with it. The black dude was fast as fucked and easily chased the neighbor down. The neighbor then threw the purse into the street and ran away.
The black guy then picked up the purse, hopped back in the old beat up car and fled.
A couple weeks later they arrested the guy when he tried to use my moms credit card.
After he was arrested our front door was tagged with gang graffiti and threats of revenge. They were trying to intimidate my mom so she wouldn't testify against the guy. I didn't learn about this until years later though.
Shortly after he was arrested we were returning home one day. We pulled up to our drive way and parked. A car with about 4 black guys in it pulled along side our driveway and the guy in the passenger seat opened the door and sat with his right foot outside of the car and his left foot inside.
We all saw it and my sister and I started freaking out. My mom then started up her car and backed it out of the driveway. The car with the black guys took off. My mom followed it. The black dudes started speeding and weaving between lanes of traffic. My sister and I were seriously freaked out so after about a mile my mom backed off and we went to the local police station.
My mom wound up testifying against the guy and he was convicted. |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 2:34 AM Author: Emerald Dead Sneaky Criminal Bawdyhouse Hearing my parents fucking. Listening to my mom talk about shaving her pussy while my dad laughed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24837404) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 1:10 PM Author: exciting tan wagecucks fortuitous meteor Das y u gay (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24838491) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 4:36 AM Author: diverse purple athletic conference tons of gold in this thread. i'll try to think of something that isn't too similar to what has already been posted. i have pretty similar stories to everyone else including being corned by older fundamentalists who attempted to force me to accept jesus into my heart (my parents were atheist jews but the bible thumpers couldn't tell i was a heeb just by looking at me, lol), and also the typical gang bullying of weak kids in the neighborhood, creepy adults trying to lure kids into houses and cars, etc.
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Date: January 15th, 2014 9:22 AM Author: Wild digit ratio MOAR fucked up stories (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24837706) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 2:14 PM Author: Black Slimy Trust Fund Coldplay Fan Just remembered this one after reading another post.
One time (probably middle school or early high school) we went with my mom to the grocery store. It was the cheap/shitty one near our house. Horrible neighborhood. My sister and I went to load the groceries into the car while my mom paid. Some old lady came up to us saying something about how she was deaf and needed a ride home with her stuff. That she lived just around the corner. Seemed odd that she had a plan for getting TO the store, but not home FROM it.
My mom came out and we were explaining what the lady said. When she was told the woman was deaf, my mom asked if she knew sign language (my mom used to take classes). The woman said no. My sister and I (naively) thought we should just give her the ride. We felt bad for her. My mom said she was sorry but we couldn't do it and left.
On the way home my mom explained that it seemed like an innocent request from someone who probably couldn't hurt you, but you don't know what's waiting for you at her house (or wherever she winds up directing you). She could have a son or someone there waiting for us who intended to do us harm. Creeped the shit out of me and felt like a really important lesson. |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 3:18 PM Author: Cruel-hearted narrow-minded sanctuary i was diagnosed with bone cancer at age 9, and here's a few stories relating to that:
when i was first diagnosed and admitted to the hospital i shared a room with this black kid my age who had his leg amputated because of osteosarcoma. so, we're sitting there in the room and his dad takes off his prosthesis. i take a peek and see the kid's foot hanging off backwards where his knee should be and scream. i guess it was considered a pretty experimental procedure at the time to create a prosthetic "joint" by using your foot (assuming it was salvageable). kid had relapsed and was dead by the end of the year.
at some point early in my treatment, the doctors implanted a Broviac catheter in my chest to save my veins while administering chemo. so every night and every morning my mom had to flush out the line by injecting a small bottle of saline solution. we had a system where the used and full bottles were side by side in separate boxes in a cabinet. one night my mom was overly tired and stressed (she also had cancer at the time) when she took out a syringe and did the injection. i was almost immediately light headed and struck with chest pains. my mom quickly realized she had grabbed an empty bottle and injected air into my blood stream. i'd never seen her so distraught as she called 911. ambulance came and i ended up receiving oxygen treatments overnight. no damage done.
last one is funny more than anything. so, i'm in my early teens now and away at cancer camp. on the first night, a few of us sneak away with some liquor to hang out under the stars and booze. i meet this really cute italian brunette and we hit it off. i ask her if she wants to take a walk and we head off to the arts and crafts shed and start hooking up in the dark. i lift her up on one of the work tables and run my hands down her jeans and bump straight into her prosthetic right leg! she pulls back slightly from my lips and with a heavy breathed whisper asks "how do you like my leg?" i answer, "it's hot!" and we both start laughing and continue to hook up like NBD. |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 3:31 PM Author: curious depressive That last story is actually really nice. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24839081) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 3:32 PM Author: jet rigpig garrison yeah, good thing he didn't have dick cancer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24839090) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 3:46 PM Author: Arousing whorehouse lettuce damn dude.
what's cancer camp? |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 4:17 PM Author: Cruel-hearted narrow-minded sanctuary Just a place where chill young dying cancer doods get together with other balds and forget about their troubles for a week. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24839424) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 4:26 PM Author: exciting tan wagecucks fortuitous meteor I feel like you could really slay the poon there.
"Baby, we both could be dead next year. I'd hate to die without experiencing intimacy with another person. I want that special person to be you..."
*queues porn music* |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 4:53 PM Author: Cruel-hearted narrow-minded sanctuary not far from reality. surviving cancer left a lot of these chicks with a IDGAF attitude. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24839581) |
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Date: January 23rd, 2014 2:33 AM Author: Ocher galvanic stage Ty for your stories ITT (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24881852) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 3:48 PM Author: exhilarant base Poorest white trash kid in my 2nd grade class wants to hang out at my house. I'm pretty much nice to everyone as a 2nd grader and I had taken this kid under my wing because I felt bad that he had no other friends. I suggested we just meet up at a park and play basketball, but he keeps insisting on coming to my house. Anyways he finally is invited over and my mom picks us up pizza on the way home from work. From the moment he sees my mom he is ULTRA COMPLIMENTARY to her, about as goody two shoes as you can get, complimenting her on the pizza, our house, cleanliness of the kitchen, and the fucker even chastises me for giving my mom crap about not getting pepperoni and telling her to bug off so we can play some video games. He annoys the shit out of me all night by telling me I need to be nicer to my mom. I'm like WTF this kid is a total suckup and resolve never to hang out with him again. Anyways, a few weeks later the kid completely disappears from school and is never heard from again until the 6th grade when he shows up halfway through the school year. It turns out that his mom had been sent to prison earlier that 2nd grade year for drug manufacture and distribution, his dad was long gone, and he went to live with his grandparents upstate. He had apparently just been living for months with his 6th grade brother until his relatives realized what had happened to the mom and came to get them. The two of them somehow managed to survive on god knows what, and it hits me that he was so nice to my mom because he probably just wanted to be invited over again for dinner, and I'm like....fuck. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24839202) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 4:02 PM Author: exciting tan wagecucks fortuitous meteor Aww (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#24839317) |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 4:53 PM Author: Black Slimy Trust Fund Coldplay Fan That's such an awful feeling. I had a "boyfriend" (I'm a girl) in middle school. We'd hang out, dance at dances, nothing significant. He was dirt poor. One time we met at a cafe/diner for breakfast and hanging out. Might have been my idea. When he got there he said he'd already eaten. I remember being really annoyed since he knew we were meeting.
Literally took like a DECADE later before I realized he probably couldn't afford to buy a meal. And I ate in front of him like an insensitive moron. Still feel terrible about that. |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 5:25 PM Author: exhilarant base It is hard to even know what is going on with people in that situation when you're young and have had a comparatively idyllic childhood.
Anyways, middle school dances...so awkward...big circles of guys and girls grinding. I had the greatest fear that every chick was gonna call me out on my indefatigable 13 y/o boner. |
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Date: January 15th, 2014 4:48 PM Author: cyan razzle temple trump supporter In 8th grade i became friends with this white trash kid that was "bad". He brought cigs and weed to school (he always smelled like smoke. He and others would smoke down at the "ash tray"--this old creek past the school parking lot. Fights would always be scheduled down there). He liked the bands slayer and pantera, and was generally a little bastard. He was intelligent though and funny as hell because he was such an insubordinate punk. Before I ever became friends with him he once flicked me and my dad off on his motorscooter while we were playing catch in the street (my dad told him to slow down or something and after he got flicked off, my dad got all red faced and tried to peg him with the ball as he drove off but missed).
This friend lived in a pretty lower middle class adjacent neighborhood and his dad was like this white trash southern dood. He was some kind of independent contractor tradesman or something and had a creepy white van for his job. When i started going over to my friend's house after school his mom seemed to never be around at first. But it turned out she would spend all day in her bedroom upstairs and when I did see her, my friend would bully her and call her a dumb bitch to her face and she wouldn't do anything but sulk back upstairs. She didn't work or ever have anyone else over--I don't even think she had her own car. She never said anything to me or acted warm in any way to me or my friend her son--which was definitely odd. She was so submissive and shy I was sure she was physically abused by her white trash husband. And I think her son picked up on it and verbally abused her too, as he was such a little bastard.
On top of this I heard rumors that his dad was a creep and would go to the middle school parking lot in his rape van and spy on the girls (or hell maybe the boys). I heard he was a sex offender but never really knew that for sure. I rarely saw him (my friend explained that he was always working but it was sort of suspicious) but after I heard about his dad, my instincts just said stay away. Once his dad picked my friend up from the local roller rink where we'd hang out on Friday night and I told them my parents were coming to pick me up. Instead I walked home like 3 miles (and actually hitchhiked and was picked up and dropped off by some kind fellow).
Anyway, this little bastard and his no good, abusive, perverted dad seemingly broke the spirit of my friend's mom. They probably met in some small southern town and her life just slowly became an isolated hell, where she never left the house and never talked to anyone except to get yelled at by her shitty family. But one day apparently my friend and his dad just went out for an afternoon and when they came back, she was gone forever. Her parents from out of state had come and taken her. She didn't want custody or the house or anything. I think she just packed up her clothes and left. And as far as I know my friend didn't see her again. He recounted the story laughing about how she was a dumb bitch. |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 5:48 AM Author: Bateful brilliant foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584373) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 5:48 AM Author: kink-friendly station well, there was this pork thing... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584370) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 6:12 AM Author: Indecent personal credit line As a child, I was a little more developed than most kids. Hair under the armpits first, on the chest, a little taller, deeper voice. So it's no surprise that I excelled at athletics and my parents pushed me to explore my skills at the highest level. Now, as a Jewish guy, I really didn't fit in on the football field later in life, but as a pre-teen, I was pretty good. I had heard about a camp at one of the schools in the area run by the coaches and I thought it would be fun. Plus a bunch of my friends were going, so we thought it would be a good time. A week away from home and football with the boys, what could be better?
When we got there it was pretty cool, we lived in the dorms and got to run around on the field and it was kind of like being at the school's mini-camp. We took turns going from station to station during the day, sometimes we'd throw the balls with the quarterback team, or we'd work on blocking with the fat fucking o-line coaches. This was the middle of the summer, so it was hot as hell, so by like 4pm we were ready to hit the showers and clean up before dinner. At night, after dinner, we'd watch movies and the coaches would talk to us about how to pursue a football path in high school and maybe on to college.
We used to mess around in the showers, yelling "DON'T DROP THE SOAP," and snapping each other with towels. Real good male bonding time. I think we called each other fag pretty much every ten seconds. Michael Sam would not be welcomed.
After our showers, we were escorted by one of the coaches back to the dorms and then he'd take us to dinner at the dining hall some time later. But I noticed he hung around a little bit, like, he would come in before we finished our showers sometimes and remind us that we had to get going so another group could come in.
The first few days went by with no incident, but I noticed he started to pop his head into the showers earlier each day, until one day I was there with my buddy and the coach came in just before we took off our clothing. I remember he had a good relationship with my friend because they worked on drills during the camp, and so it wasn't totally weird that this coach would joke around with the guy. But he would touch his shoulder a little too long. And he kept telling us about this nickname, "The Great Pretender." He said it was from an old song or something, but I didn't really ask much.
So this day, it was the three of us. And my friend said something like, "hey Great Pretender, what are you up to?" to which the coach replied that he was trying to get some soap for his own shower. And then he stripped down and went into one of the non-communal showers that were off limits to people at the camp.
So I did my showering, finished up, and left, and my buddy remained behind because I guess he was extra dirty from his drills during the day. I didn't notice him at dinner, which was weird, and later that night he seemed really quiet. Next day, same thing. He didn't show up for dinner on time and he was just not interested in eating with us. I didn't think anything of it and remember heading home excited because I learned a lot, had some fun, and got to meet a few top notch football coaches.
That fall we were watching a game in my basement and my buddy remarked that the coach who had been in the shower with us, popped on to the screen. My friend told me that he had a second, more secret nickname called the "Tickle Monster" and that he used come up behind him sometimes and say things like "I'm gonna squeeze your guts out."
The next summer I couldn't go back to the camp because I went to Jew camp instead. But my buddy who had been growing physically stronger and taller than me, decided to return. And apparently that was the summer when Jerry Sandusky pushed him up against a wall, jerked his dick, and demanded that the kid not mention anything. He told me in junior high about one of the coaches being a real creep and that he didn't want to go back for another summer.
Years later, I was able to piece everything together. |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 10:12 AM Author: orange theatre scourge upon the earth oh sweet, another poorly written, ridiculous ACP/NUWK lie! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#25584660) |
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Date: May 18th, 2014 9:15 AM Author: Mind-boggling cuckold My childhood was so tame. I barely have any good stories like these.
Only weird one that jumps to mind is from 7th grade. A buddy of mine and 3 girls we were friends with would come over to my house after school (because I lived really close to school) and watch the blurred-out/scrambled Spice channel. Back in the 90s, pay cable channels that you didn't subscribe to were still sort of visible and largely audible, but just really scrambled images with lines all over the screen. So on at least a few occasions the 5 of us just sat there watching scrambled porn. And yet, inexplicably, there was no hooking up going on. We just watched it and then went and did other stuff. I was too shy at that point to make any moves, and I have absolitely no idea why the girls were inclined to engage in this porn-watching activity. Very odd memory. |
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Date: December 17th, 2014 9:17 PM Author: cream ticket booth fat ankles When I was 14 one of my buddies could drive but used his moms creepy van. We used to have fun egging cars and houses. Well this one time we got in his car and started egging cars while driving in the opposite directions. We pulled into a parking lot and there was a car parked with its window slightly cracked. I walked up and cracked the egg in the car and it got all over the seat. We drove away. As we were driving we came to a stop in the left turning lane which had a left green light. A guy pulled up in a convertible. When light turned green to turn I tossed an egg out of the passenger window and it hit the dude and got all in his car. I felt horrible about this for years.
Another thing we did was ding-dong-ditch a lot. That got old after a while so we decided to make it more interesting. One time we bought an air horn and when the person opened the door we would just blast it in their face and run. So this one time I thought it would be funny to "spice it up." I rang this guys door and waited for him to answer. When he came to the door I turned around and mooned him and ran away. He just yelled "Fucking great. Just what I wanted to see on a Friday night. Fucking perfect." |
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Date: December 14th, 2018 3:52 PM Author: Cruel-hearted narrow-minded sanctuary (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#37408490) |
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Date: July 30th, 2019 7:04 PM Author: Startling Laughsome Wrinkle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#38613214) |
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Date: November 6th, 2019 9:06 PM Author: Ocher galvanic stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2468285&forum_id=2#39082378) |