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DLA Piper Baltimore (East) calling for reinforcements

We can't hold the line much longer! Send the insursnce defen...
ruddy brunch
  04/28/15
They've already been pushed out of their lowrise projects of...
supple bronze factory reset button den
  04/28/15
(pro bono clients storm the office) "Hey guys, cut it ...
vibrant clear immigrant whorehouse
  04/28/15
A bloodied 1st year associate busts open the roof hatch as f...
pearl comical water buffalo
  04/28/15
Yes.
appetizing address brethren
  04/28/15
93849052122
Translucent garrison
  04/28/15
...
Odious state private investor
  04/28/15
Amazing.
Slippery Mediation Area
  04/28/15
1800000
Titillating arrogant chapel hairy legs
  04/28/15
...
stirring yarmulke
  04/28/15
Superb.
Saffron provocative international law enforcement agency shrine
  04/28/15
98474663535474849493737
french sex offender pit
  04/28/15
Neumann Morgenste bursts through the lobby doors atop a stal...
ruddy brunch
  04/28/15
lmfao
pearl comical water buffalo
  04/28/15
...
smoky dysfunction messiness
  04/29/15
TYVMFTMB
Saffron provocative international law enforcement agency shrine
  04/29/15
...
180 ladyboy indian lodge
  04/06/21
...
Medicated Bistre Indirect Expression Set
  04/28/15
...
slimy shimmering voyeur
  04/28/15
...
Cracking Unhinged Parlor Sneaky Criminal
  04/28/15
...
ruddy brunch
  04/28/15
meh
turquoise reading party heaven
  04/29/15
Fuck off. You do better.
Wonderful Foreskin
  04/29/15
wrong
amethyst hyperventilating school
  06/09/16
Your best work. Thanks for the chuckles.
Trip Wine Cuck Queen Of The Night
  04/29/15
holy shit
internet-worthy jewess
  04/29/15
Wtf 180
outnumbered kitty
  04/29/15
Is one good lawyer's life worth the protection of scholarshi...
dashing pisswyrm
  04/29/15
...
dashing pisswyrm
  06/08/16
1111888888880000
amethyst hyperventilating school
  06/08/16
Did not read
Peach hall
  06/08/16
dont be intimidated as i was at 1st
amethyst hyperventilating school
  06/08/16
...
jet sanctuary ratface
  08/01/18
...
aphrodisiac university
  08/01/18
...
ruddy brunch
  04/06/21
holy shit
Motley mad cow disease business firm
  04/06/21
...
180 ladyboy indian lodge
  04/06/21
...
Disgusting adventurous native
  06/08/16
I was about to give the OP a 180 until I realized it was my ...
ruddy brunch
  06/08/16
Love it when that happens
Disgusting adventurous native
  06/08/16
...
ruddy brunch
  11/28/17
...
dashing pisswyrm
  08/01/18
...
bonkers main people
  08/01/18
...
180 ladyboy indian lodge
  04/06/21


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 8:53 AM
Author: ruddy brunch

We can't hold the line much longer! Send the insursnce defense batallion from Pitsburgh!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27776574)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 8:56 AM
Author: supple bronze factory reset button den

They've already been pushed out of their lowrise projects office, and have retreated to the tower

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27776580)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 8:59 AM
Author: vibrant clear immigrant whorehouse

(pro bono clients storm the office)

"Hey guys, cut it out, ow! My glasses cost several hundred dollars! I don't think that carpet is fireproof! Hey, we'll call you if we ever get a settlement check for you from the Department of Education! Guys?"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27776585)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 9:43 AM
Author: pearl comical water buffalo

A bloodied 1st year associate busts open the roof hatch as feral youths claw and tear at his legs, ripping off strips of his Jos A Bank Executive Gabardine Pleated Wool Pants. He manages to kick himself free and hoist his dangling legs onto the roof. One of his Florsheims doesn't make it. A small price to pay for the glorious scene that awaits him. Before him rises the DLA Piper, A Global Firm (tm), Signal Beacon. He rubs his eyes as if waking from a dream. The legendary beacon was constructed by the ancient race of Piper Rudnick LLP, proud men who once governed a fair and just firm but who now lived scattered among the forests, bogs and caves of the world, their realm shattered by the 2005 merger. The beacon consists of four ivory pillars, supporting a roof protecting an obsidian altar below. Cool to the touch, its sides are adorned with skillfully carved depictions of Piper Rudnick managing partners of old. Maskowitz the Mad. Cohen the Unready. Their features look otherworldly, angelic. The associate runs his fingers across the ridges and grooves, feeling the outline of their faces. Drawing inspiration from the heroes of deals past.

The moment of reflection is interrupted by a sudden crash, a grotesque young hand of color has burst through the roof hatch and is now flailing around blindly for flesh to rend. A brisk spring wind brings up the sound of screams from the streets below. The associate takes a deep breath and calmly pulls the blackberry out of the chest pocket of his Traveler Wrinkle-Free Slim Fit shirt. He loads Carpe Diem. Typing now. Frantic. "0.2 - Lit the signal beacons". He pauses, recalls the Zeke Morris post from the Biglaw Advice thread from the day before. "0.5 - Coordinated and discussed with team re: lighting the signal beacons...". These duties extinguished, he trades the blackberry for a set of matches from his back pocket. He's trembling now. Not only from the cool April breeze whipping off the Atlantic but also for the fact that, deep down, he knows he's not given adequate notice to his team that he would be beaten to bloody pulp by youths of color on the rooftop. No matter. Summer associates will arrive soon. They'll fight on without him. It takes a few tries to light the match, he's shaking violently now. Finally it ignites. He immediately throws the match into the hollowed out center of the altar.

A brilliant blaze erupts, throwing him backwards against the AC unit and scorching his ginger unibrow. The fire singes away the swollen clouds of a cool mid-Atlantic evening. Just a few seconds later. A reciprocal blaze from across the Delmarva. "My god!! We're saved!! The fires of Wilmington burn bright!". Far off in the distance, more lights. Stars lighting up the sky. A celestial trail stretching towards Atlantic City. Now Philadelphia. Trenton. New York City. Pittsburgh. Another crash. He realizes that he'll be dead within minutes. A corpse without a head and a lawyer without a name. But reinforcements would arrive to avenge him. Troops were no doubt already massing within the fiery frontiers of DLA's realms. Barrel chested litigators from New York with fists of stone and limp-dicked WUSTL men who fought with a frenzy and vigor reminiscent of the Old Norse berserkers. He smiles now as the youths of color swarm him, removing his limbs from his body, stretching him in every direction, tearing off limbs as if his component parts were being removed for future reassembly. "Thanllll" his severed head groans as a protesting youth hoists it triumphantly. All black now. His duty is done.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27776783)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 9:47 AM
Author: appetizing address brethren

Yes.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27776796)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 10:02 AM
Author: Translucent garrison

93849052122

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27776853)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 10:07 AM
Author: Odious state private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27776874)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 10:17 AM
Author: Slippery Mediation Area

Amazing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27776905)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 10:20 AM
Author: Titillating arrogant chapel hairy legs

1800000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27776923)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 10:21 AM
Author: stirring yarmulke



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27776930)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 10:22 AM
Author: Saffron provocative international law enforcement agency shrine

Superb.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27776932)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 10:30 AM
Author: french sex offender pit

98474663535474849493737

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27776976)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 10:45 AM
Author: ruddy brunch

Neumann Morgenste bursts through the lobby doors atop a stallion, decapitating a protestor with one mighty swing of his great sword.

The beleaguered and battered summer associates, exhausted from a night of gallantly holding the elevator bank, collapse at his side. "Thank the gods, you've arrived!"

"Don't thank the gods" belts NMTP. His horse bucks wildly as they charge into the stairwell. "Thanl the scholarship!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27777044)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 12:08 PM
Author: pearl comical water buffalo

lmfao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27777620)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2015 2:35 AM
Author: smoky dysfunction messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27783715)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2015 10:39 AM
Author: Saffron provocative international law enforcement agency shrine

TYVMFTMB

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27784607)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 6th, 2021 10:19 PM
Author: 180 ladyboy indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#42234198)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 10:48 AM
Author: Medicated Bistre Indirect Expression Set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27777060)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 10:51 AM
Author: slimy shimmering voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27777073)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 11:00 AM
Author: Cracking Unhinged Parlor Sneaky Criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27777145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2015 5:07 PM
Author: ruddy brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27780053)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2015 1:50 AM
Author: turquoise reading party heaven

meh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27783590)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2015 1:56 AM
Author: Wonderful Foreskin

Fuck off. You do better.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27783618)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2016 2:54 AM
Author: amethyst hyperventilating school

wrong

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#30658864)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2015 2:30 AM
Author: Trip Wine Cuck Queen Of The Night

Your best work. Thanks for the chuckles.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27783702)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2015 3:47 AM
Author: internet-worthy jewess

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27783878)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2015 4:42 AM
Author: outnumbered kitty

Wtf 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27783932)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2015 7:40 AM
Author: dashing pisswyrm

Is one good lawyer's life worth the protection of scholarship?

Yes, yes it is.

*standing tall, head down and eyes closed, fist in the air, finally he opens his eyes*

"We fight on. For Shaddix. For the scholarship."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#27784054)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2016 8:18 PM
Author: dashing pisswyrm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#30656333)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2016 8:22 PM
Author: amethyst hyperventilating school

1111888888880000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#30656371)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2016 8:23 PM
Author: Peach hall

Did not read

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#30656383)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2016 8:29 PM
Author: amethyst hyperventilating school

dont be intimidated as i was at 1st

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#30656433)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 1st, 2018 1:22 PM
Author: jet sanctuary ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#36534384)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 1st, 2018 1:50 PM
Author: aphrodisiac university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#36534537)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 6th, 2021 10:14 PM
Author: ruddy brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#42234169)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 6th, 2021 10:15 PM
Author: Motley mad cow disease business firm

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#42234173)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 6th, 2021 10:18 PM
Author: 180 ladyboy indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#42234185)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2016 8:19 PM
Author: Disgusting adventurous native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#30656342)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2016 8:23 PM
Author: ruddy brunch

I was about to give the OP a 180 until I realized it was my thread.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#30656384)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2016 8:30 PM
Author: Disgusting adventurous native

Love it when that happens

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#30656444)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 28th, 2017 7:25 AM
Author: ruddy brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#34787889)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 1st, 2018 1:16 PM
Author: dashing pisswyrm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#36534342)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 1st, 2018 2:00 PM
Author: bonkers main people



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#36534616)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 6th, 2021 10:14 PM
Author: 180 ladyboy indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2866133&forum_id=2#42234166)