right now, absolutely no one (not even in your own department) gives a fuck if you publish some new abstruse bullshit. which, realistically, is all that most people ever really publish.
but you could turn it into a spectacle. do a pre-release hype video; do shirtless photo-shoots and put them on a flashy website in advance of the new paper, and then release the paper with an album cover-style image. make it a big production. have a paper-release party at a strip-club.
the first guy who does this will get a lot of attention.
closest i can think of is a nasally self-promoting economist who releases an hour long youtube video for each paper. he is despised and did not win tenure