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NEED XOXOHTH HELP IMMEDIATELY

I'm on IM with this hot girl who goes to a nearby uni. How ...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Don't get your hopes up. Send her a pic and see if she conti...
Cracking mahogany ape temple
  03/19/06
correct
Excitant Claret Brethren Philosopher-king
  03/19/06
We know each other outside of uni. Met at a party and now I...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
A few years ago, while browsing around the library downtown,...
awkward dingle berry
  03/19/06
maude - if you tell your friends stories like this, is it an...
blue blathering home famous landscape painting
  03/19/06
so, im usually not so forthright, but i really think youre a...
Concupiscible double fault
  03/19/06
she knows she's cute and that he knows she's cute. he shoul...
awkward dingle berry
  03/19/06
i guess. i usually dont do cutsy lines anyway. im not good...
Concupiscible double fault
  03/19/06
if a guy said "I'm going to take you [here]" I'd t...
awkward dingle berry
  03/19/06
haha, yes.
topaz motley sound barrier police squad
  03/19/06
thats because you have a stick up your ass and like pussy as...
Concupiscible double fault
  03/19/06
OK, now how do I respond? Me: So, I'm usually not so fort...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
she sounds like a dingbat. enjoy bubbly vapid sex, and the ...
awkward dingle berry
  03/19/06
if you can't think of something to say over AIM, how will yo...
topaz motley sound barrier police squad
  03/19/06
I'm not quick over the computer. Usually I just point out/t...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
do you read billboards to your girlfriends? "Oh look ...
blue blathering home famous landscape painting
  03/19/06
I only saw this now. No, douchebag, I usually just keep m...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
for some reason this is absolutely hilarious to me
spectacular cerise pocket flask goal in life
  03/19/06
im just not good at expressing my feelings sometimes, thats ...
Concupiscible double fault
  03/19/06
I am HLS bound. I will make 2M/year as a partner at XYZ law ...
Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office
  03/19/06
Me: So, I'm usually not so forthright, but I really think yo...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
HELP!!! Now what do I say???
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
ok, flame.
topaz motley sound barrier police squad
  03/19/06
Come on! This is not a flame. Me: HLS = Harvard Law Sc...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Me: but not before I give you a ride on my love shaft
awkward dingle berry
  03/19/06
Her: ah Me: But not before I give you a ride on my love s...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Me: feel free to rename it whatever you like. I'd suggest &...
awkward dingle berry
  03/19/06
Her: your love shaft? Me: Do you know where I can buy a w...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Me: sorry, i'mf drukn
awkward dingle berry
  03/19/06
Her: is that what you call your love shaft? Me: Feel free...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
abort operation AIMLOVE, I repeat, abort
awkward dingle berry
  03/19/06
this is exactly how my dad met my mom
Maize Base
  03/19/06
Her: so your love shaft is a scottish nationalist? Me: We...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Her: cat got your tongue? FUCK I NEED HELP!!! I CAN'T TH...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Her: cat got your tongue? Me: No. I'm just busy with som...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Her: sure Me: You have potential. Her: for what? Me...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Me: Well, let's go for coffee and we can talk about it. ...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
stop responding to yourself; post on far left.
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
tell her your dad's a pyschologist. and then tell her what h...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
...
glassy bat shit crazy theater stain
  03/19/06
You: can you do me a favor? her: sure, what? You: theres t...
beady-eyed high-end point shitlib
  03/19/06
Oh, come on...be serious. I want to go out with this girl! ...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
she's a smarty, watch out.
awkward dingle berry
  03/19/06
Yeah, I know. She just keeps coming back. I need help on t...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
tip: don't use "lines".
topaz motley sound barrier police squad
  03/19/06
exactly.
Concupiscible double fault
  03/19/06
You feel that your mother never really loved you.
translucent foreskin
  03/19/06
you: i'm feeling a little down... her: why? you: my d...
effete den
  03/19/06
Tell her you have a friend who wants to buy a strange pet. ...
crystalline unholy set national security agency
  03/19/06
haha wtf
house-broken library
  03/19/06
OK, I'll try this.
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Then insult her slightly, or give her a mixed compliment.
crystalline unholy set national security agency
  03/19/06
Like how?
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Tell her she's pretty cute, for a girl on the Internet.
crystalline unholy set national security agency
  03/19/06
OK, OK, I just did. Now what? (See above)
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
a pale imitation
Maize Base
  03/19/06
Of what?
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
COME ON HELP ME OUT GUYS!!!!!
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
afer a long silence, say "i rape"
translucent foreskin
  03/19/06
Come on, don't be an ass. I need help here. Just cut me a ...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
i think that if you want to meet you should just keep making...
translucent foreskin
  03/19/06
at least talk about stupid shit while you're waiting for xox...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
OK, OK...I'm just ridiculously nervous.
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
All right, how do I keep from looking eager?
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
copy and paste your conv and i'll supply the lame jokes.
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
Thanks! http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
You: You have potential
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
OK, I like this. Sounds confident.
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
it was supposed to be a response to her "so now i'm a p...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
Oh. Damn it.
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
use it anyway and update us
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
OK.
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Post a pic.
crystalline unholy set national security agency
  03/19/06
I only know her MySpace, but it has all sorts of personal de...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Post the pic without posting the profile. Right click on th...
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
How do I do this on a Mac laptop? No right-click...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Me: Oh cool. Me: My dad's a psychologist. Her: oh cool...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
see my edit edit: tell her your dad's a pyschologist. and...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
OK, I got it.
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
I majored in psychology in college. I wanted to get a Ph.D.,...
Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office
  03/19/06
Why do you think a Ph.D in it is worthless? You could do ot...
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
Tell her coffee is a performance enhancer...so if she wants ...
glassy bat shit crazy theater stain
  03/19/06
F-
floppy stage community account
  03/19/06
not bad but i wouldnt say this until the end of the conversa...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
you need to get her to talk about herself
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
Me: Did you know coffee is a performance enhancer? Her: i...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
So is adderall...I can get you some.
Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office
  03/19/06
this is good. "we could do some lines together instead&...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
...
glassy bat shit crazy theater stain
  03/19/06
Post the pic without posting the profile. Right click on the...
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
This will catch the boards interest and you'll get more and ...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
Are you sure this won't out her? That would totally blow.
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Of course not. We post pics of tons of random different gir...
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
Her: i cant study with coffee Her: caffeine gives me a h...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
stop sucking her dick you're fucked but next time challen...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
I was trying to make small talk. This is why I need help.
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
we're here for you.
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
what kind of self-knowledge has come to you through your stu...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
OK, this is good.
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
what does she want to do after she gets her degree? most pys...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
So what do they want to do or what do they end up doing?
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
Post the pic already dood. We post pics of tons of random d...
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
who the fuck is on xoxo this late anyway? by morning this th...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
OK, but how do I do this on an iMac? I can't right-click or...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
n/m...I figured it out.
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Her: ah, i see where this is headed. Me: So what kind of ...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
tell her your learning style
Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office
  03/19/06
I don't know my learning style! I just read the material and...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
You are the opposite of auditory. You learn from books, not ...
Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office
  03/19/06
take note of this and then you can make some jokes about bei...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
You: Are you more into music than say, photography or painti...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
Send her your pic: http://img.cybernetentertainment.com//...
translucent foreskin
  03/19/06
Her: ok, well, we're studying learning strategies in class. ...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Me: Well, I still go to lectures. I just draw pictures there...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
dood, don't im all your conversational material; save it for...
blue blathering home famous landscape painting
  03/19/06
she won't meet him.
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
The OP is like His Doodness.
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
this guy doesn't seem very laid-back.
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
pic
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Nice dood. How much experience do you have with chicks- dat...
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
Not much. Usually I'm all right, because I'm fairly good-lo...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
you are a lucky motherfucker she seems like she'd be really...
blue blathering home famous landscape painting
  03/19/06
i was just about to post something like that.
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
She is. That's why it's so frustrating. I really do like h...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
He needs to tell us more about this chick. If she's a slut,...
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
She doesn't seem like the slutty type. Flirty and funny, bu...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Her: well hopefully you're not being disruptive to those of ...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Ask her if she could teach you to become a better dancer.
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
don't do it! he's come on to her too many times tongiht. sh...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
But this would allow him to spend some time with her. They ...
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
edit: on second thought, you're probably right.
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
Fuck, now I wished I'd gone with this.
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
She likes you man. You're in. sign off now before you type ...
blue blathering home famous landscape painting
  03/19/06
she already rejected him re: coffee twice. i think he should...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
You: what kind of music do you like is the obvious one
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
Her: being a visual learner and all... ;-p Me: haha M...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
you: it's a dance and a condiment at the same time KILL S...
Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office
  03/19/06
stfu
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
the next time you're doing that well (at the Relish point), ...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
say something like, "you probably have a lot of studyin...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
Fuck, so I'm dead in the water?
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
no, you're actually doing pretty well. most guys are idiots ...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
you don't need to get a date out of your first IM conversati...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
Are you still talking to her?
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
Yeah. I need damage control and fast.
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
"You know, really inappropriate times. Like a kid gets ...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
you fucked this up too much already
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
if she's white, then tell her you're black. white women are ...
Tantric chad native
  03/19/06
She already knows I'm white.
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
then there's nothing we can do for you. it's over.
Tantric chad native
  03/19/06
HOLY FUCK I'M GETTING LIFEPWN3D...FUCK
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
it's your ethnicity. tell her youre not white.
Tantric chad native
  03/19/06
leave, gameover
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
you're being idiotic.
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
you probably get no play fag
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
haha, pwn3d!
Tantric chad native
  03/19/06
he says i get no play and i'm a fag and therefore i'm pwn3d?
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
calm down. she obviously likes him.
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
there was some kind of initial attraction, but what was ther...
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
if it wasn't destroyed as of your post, his ending just dest...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
she's awesome. how often are girls this honest?
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
Give up and say that you will IM her some other time. Wait a...
Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office
  03/19/06
tell her bye and you will IM her tomorrow, but dont IM her u...
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
Good advice.
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
Back to dancing...Say that you'd like to get better at danci...
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
this is fucking GAY ADVICE which will make her know hes tryi...
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
But it's a reason for them to spend time together. She alre...
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
maybe, but still, its too obvious hes faking the whole oh wh...
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
horrible advice. she feels "pressured."
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
He's been pressuring her about coffee at different times in ...
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
good idea, but he's white. white and dancing dont mix.
Tantric chad native
  03/19/06
The Problem: You took yourself out of control over her. You...
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
but.. Do you want to go kamikaze and see what can happen?
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
he did that in the beginning and it fucked things up. ignori...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
http://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&mc=171&am...
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
FLAME - this is a copycat of a REAL thread that was much bet...
Violent aphrodisiac mediation
  03/19/06
yeah i think it IS flame but w/e
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
what's "w/e"?
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
whatever confirmed: you probably dont talk with girls
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
w/e.
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
Look, this isn't flame. If some other thread did this befor...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Me: Oh no, I totally can. Her: im not so sure now. Me...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
you made it even worse fag
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
its over. your only hope is to start insulting her.
Tantric chad native
  03/19/06
TITCR
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
Your responses were terrible. Maybe you should wait until sh...
Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office
  03/19/06
Look, I'm feeling bad as it is already. Do you have rub sal...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
She doesn't seem like your type anyway. If you are having tr...
Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office
  03/19/06
wrong mindset
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
Who? Zinafedel or me? If this is another cheap shot at m...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
*sobs*
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
Wow dude.
translucent foreskin
  03/19/06
wow, sorry dude
house-broken library
  03/19/06
what did I tell you dood?!? you talked yourself into a hole.
blue blathering home famous landscape painting
  03/19/06
next time remember these points: be cocky, but funny dont ...
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
as much as i hate to say this, that's all good advice. ed...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
TITCR
Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office
  03/19/06
Damn it, I did it all wrong! I'm so fucking pissed off wi...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
this is golden :
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
This wasn't golden. It was humiliating. I feel like I've b...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
"u should keep IM/phone to minimum anyway. use it to sc...
blue blathering home famous landscape painting
  03/19/06
Honestly, take ill kid's advice and start talking to as many...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
Im an ill ass motherfucker, and I approve this message
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
OK, I think I can do that. The problem is that I have a lot...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
How do you screw things up IRL? I thought you were just bad ...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
I said conversation-wise, since there are other things to do...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
See ill kid's thread on how not to screw it up. Do you f...
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
FUCK you I am isquoting from beautiful mind OK? because I&q...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
haha. sorry.
heady turquoise office
  03/19/06
no man I"M sorr you were ther efor me tonite and I just...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
When John Nash saw a chick in a bar, he went up to har and h...
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
ye s and then she slap hm and he tells HER about the nash eq...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Yes. Next time just talk about math all the time. Explain th...
Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office
  03/19/06
FUCK MATH FUCK PROOF FUC K GREAST C URVWTURE
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Why Monday-Thursday?
multi-colored pearly locale laser beams
  03/19/06
women are paranoid, they over-analyze everything especially ...
provocative coral orchestra pit
  03/19/06
This make sense. I just read over con voagain after downing...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Wrong. This is only good for the average girl. This specif...
pungent free-loading marketing idea station
  03/20/06
Hey, what's her IM screen name? She looks pretty hot and I'...
Racy idiotic step-uncle's house
  03/19/06
FUCK YOU
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Yeah, that's great, but I really am more interested in fucki...
Racy idiotic step-uncle's house
  03/19/06
Go to hell y ou usele sss historognath befor I KI CK your a ...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Easy up, old boy. Now, you're obviously a smart guy, so I'...
Racy idiotic step-uncle's house
  03/19/06
Wi ll this work? Pl ease say you are nots hitting me
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
No, I'm completely serious. I would be happy to help you. ...
Racy idiotic step-uncle's house
  03/19/06
...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
Wow, actually she's still on-line. She has an away message,...
Racy idiotic step-uncle's house
  03/19/06
...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
PWN3D!
Racy idiotic step-uncle's house
  03/19/06
...
Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office
  03/19/06
obvious flame because the previous thread used almost the ex...
pungent free-loading marketing idea station
  03/19/06
WHat pervious thread? If thisw as fucking falme I wo uld be ...
Autistic scourge upon the earth center
  03/19/06
A girl like this could be sold on someone in less than 10 mi...
Olive Talented Forum Knife
  03/19/06
disagree. she already seemed sold on him and all he had to ...
pungent free-loading marketing idea station
  03/20/06
i'm about to pass back out, mothafucka!
mind-boggling jew casino
  03/19/06
B+ for effort
Aromatic karate indian lodge
  03/19/06
...
Bateful gay wizard principal's office
  03/20/06
HLSbound is getting cocky. Think it's time to remind him of...
Razzmatazz aggressive church telephone
  03/22/06


Poast new message in this thread





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:08 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

I'm on IM with this hot girl who goes to a nearby uni. How do I ask her out? Need good lines fast!!!!

EDIT: this is NOT flame.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372232)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:09 AM
Author: Cracking mahogany ape temple

Don't get your hopes up. Send her a pic and see if she continues to talk.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372235)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:10 AM
Author: Excitant Claret Brethren Philosopher-king

correct

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372243)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:17 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

We know each other outside of uni. Met at a party and now I'm trying to follow up.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372272)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:09 AM
Author: awkward dingle berry

A few years ago, while browsing around the library downtown, I had to take a piss. As I entered the john a big beautiful all-american football hero type, about twenty-five, came out of one of the booths. I stood at the urinal looking at him out of the corner of my eye as he washed his hands. He didn't once look at me. He was "straight" and married -- and in any case I was sure I wouldn't have a chance with him.

As soon as he left I darted into the booth he'd vacated, hoping there might be a lingering smell of shit and even a seat still warm from his sturdy young ass. I found not only the smell but the shit itself. He'd forgotten to flush. And what a treasure he had left behind. Three or four beautiful specimens floated in the bowl. It apparently had been a fairly dry, constipated shit, for all were fat, stiff, and ruggedly textured.

The real prize was a great feast of turd -- a nine inch gastrointestinal triumph as thick as a man's wrist.

I knelt before the bowl, inhaling the rich brown fragrance and wondered if I should obey the impulse building up inside me. I'd always been a heavy rimmer and had lapped up more than one little clump of shit, but that had been just an inevitable part of eating ass and not an end in itself. Of course I'd had jerk-off fantasies of devouring great loads of it (what rimmer hasn't), but I had never done it. Now, here I was, confronted with the most beautiful five-pound turd I'd ever feasted my eyes on, a sausage fit to star in any fantasy and one I knew to have been hatched from the asshole of the world's handsomest young stud.

Why not? I plucked it from the bowl, holding it with both hands to keep it from breaking. I lifted it to my nose. It smelled like rich, ripe limburger (horrid, but thrilling), yet had the consistency of cheddar. What is cheese anyway but milk turning to shit without the benefit of a digestive tract? I gave it a lick and found that it tasted better then it smelled. I've found since then that shit nearly almost does.

I hesitated no longer. I shoved the fucking thing as far into my mouth as I could get it and sucked on it like a big brown cock, beating my meat like a madman. I wanted to completely engulf it and bit off a large chunk, flooding my mouth with the intense, bittersweet flavor. To my delight I found that while the water in the bowl had chilled the outside of the turd, it was still warm inside. As I chewed I discovered that it was filled with hard little bits of something I soon identified as peanuts. He hadn't chewed them carefully and they'd passed through his body virtually unchanged. I ate it greedily, sending lump after peanutty lump sliding scratchily down my throat. My only regret was the donor of this feast wasn't there to wash it down with his piss.

I soon reached a terrific climax. I caught my cum in the cupped palm of my hand and drank it down. Believe me, there is no more delightful combination of flavors than the hot sweetness of cum with the rich bitterness of shit.

Afterwards I was sorry that I hadn't made it last longer. But then I realized that I still had a lot of fun in store for me. There was still a clutch of virile turds left in the bowl. I tenderly fished them out, rolled them into my hankerchief, and stashed them in my briefcase. In the week to come I found all kinds of ways to eat the shit without bolting it right down. Once eaten it's gone forever unless you want to filch it third hand out of your own asshole. Not an unreasonable recourse in moments of desperation or simple boredom. I stored the turds in the refrigerator when I was not using them but within a week they were all gone. The last one I held in my mouth without chewing, letting it slowly dissolve. I had liquid shit trickling down my throat for nearly four hours. I must have had six orgasms in the process.

I often think of that lovely young guy dropping solid gold out of his sweet, pink asshole every day, never knowing what joy it could, and at least once did, bring to a grateful shiteater.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372237)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:34 AM
Author: blue blathering home famous landscape painting

maude - if you tell your friends stories like this, is it any wonder they don't want to hang out with you and listen to your stories?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372611)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:09 AM
Author: Concupiscible double fault

so, im usually not so forthright, but i really think youre a cute girl, and we should go for some coffee sometime.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372238)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:10 AM
Author: awkward dingle berry

she knows she's cute and that he knows she's cute. he should tell her she's really interesting, smart etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372241)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:11 AM
Author: Concupiscible double fault

i guess. i usually dont do cutsy lines anyway. im not good at this type of stuff. i basically just say "ive been thinking that im going to take you out for *inset activity here*, ill pick you up at *insert time here*"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372247)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:12 AM
Author: awkward dingle berry

if a guy said "I'm going to take you [here]" I'd tell him to fuck off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372253)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:13 AM
Author: topaz motley sound barrier police squad

haha, yes.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372255)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:13 AM
Author: Concupiscible double fault

thats because you have a stick up your ass and like pussy ass bitches.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372258)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:12 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

OK, now how do I respond?

Me: So, I'm usually not so forthright, but I really think you're a cute girl, and we should go for some coffee sometime.

Her: haha...so why arent you usually forthright? is there something i should know about before we meet? :-p

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372251)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:13 AM
Author: awkward dingle berry

she sounds like a dingbat. enjoy bubbly vapid sex, and the resulting STD.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372257)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:14 AM
Author: topaz motley sound barrier police squad

if you can't think of something to say over AIM, how will you get through a date with her?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372259)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:16 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

I'm not quick over the computer. Usually I just point out/talk about stuff that we both can see. Can't do that over AIM.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372266)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:35 AM
Author: blue blathering home famous landscape painting

do you read billboards to your girlfriends?

"Oh look - there's a radio shack over there!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372617)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:11 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

I only saw this now.

No, douchebag, I usually just keep my mouth shut on dates and let HER do the talking. Sometimes I'll point out something interesting (like people in funny clothes) and then she talks. That doesn't work online.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372806)





Date: March 19th, 2006 12:30 PM
Author: spectacular cerise pocket flask goal in life

for some reason this is absolutely hilarious to me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5373384)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:14 AM
Author: Concupiscible double fault

im just not good at expressing my feelings sometimes, thats all. typical macho guy stuff.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372261)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:10 AM
Author: Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office

I am HLS bound. I will make 2M/year as a partner at XYZ law firm. Do you want to get dinner sometime?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372240)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:15 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Me: So, I'm usually not so forthright, but I really think you're a cute girl, and we should go for some coffee sometime.

Her: haha...so why arent you usually forthright? is there something i should know about before we meet? :-p

Me: I am HLS bound. I will make 2M/year as a partner at Watchell. So now you wanna go?

Her: whats hls?

Her: or i COULD just date someone whos already making 2m/year, no? ;-)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372263)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:16 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

HELP!!! Now what do I say???

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372268)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:17 AM
Author: topaz motley sound barrier police squad

ok, flame.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372270)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:19 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Come on! This is not a flame.

Me: HLS = Harvard Law School

Her: oh cool. so you wanna go east?

Me: Yeah.

Her: ah.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372278)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:19 AM
Author: awkward dingle berry

Me: but not before I give you a ride on my love shaft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372281)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:21 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Her: ah

Me: But not before I give you a ride on my love shaft.

Her: ...

Her: your love shaft?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372294)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:23 AM
Author: awkward dingle berry

Me: feel free to rename it whatever you like. I'd suggest "The King" or "Braveheart"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372303)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:23 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Her: your love shaft?

Me: Do you know where I can buy a wallaby?

Her: is that what you call your love shaft?

Fuck, now what do I say? How can I turn this around?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372308)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:24 AM
Author: awkward dingle berry

Me: sorry, i'mf drukn

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372312)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:25 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Her: is that what you call your love shaft?

Me: Feel free to rename it whatever you like. I'd suggest "The King" or "Braveheart"

Her: lol

Her: braveheart???

Her: so your love shaft is a scottish nationalist?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372320)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:26 AM
Author: awkward dingle berry

abort operation AIMLOVE, I repeat, abort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372328)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:26 AM
Author: Maize Base

this is exactly how my dad met my mom

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372329)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:29 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Her: so your love shaft is a scottish nationalist?

Me: Well, I can introduce him to you and you can figure out for yourself.

Her: thanx but im gonna pass

Me: Yeah, well, you're pretty cute

Me: For a girl on the Internet

Her: haha

Her: you mean im a porn star?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372348)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:33 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Her: cat got your tongue?

FUCK I NEED HELP!!! I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372364)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:34 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Her: cat got your tongue?

Me: No. I'm just busy with something right now.

Her: oh

Her: sure

COME ON XOXOHTH, HELP ME OUT HERE!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372374)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:38 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Her: sure

Me: You have potential.

Her: for what?

Me: Well, let's go for coffee and we can talk about it.

OK, I think I'm back.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372387)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:44 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Me: Well, let's go for coffee and we can talk about it.

Her: i dont know

Her: im kinda busy lately

Her: you know, school

Me: Oh cool. So what have you been up to?

Her: psych midterm

Me: Midterms this late?

Her: yeah

Her: actually we have three during the semester

Me: Oh cool.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372411)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:46 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

stop responding to yourself; post on far left.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372419)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:47 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

tell her your dad's a pyschologist. and then tell her what he thinks about his job. any bullshit will do. she'll then start talking about why she's interested in it, etc...if she doesn't, you can ask her

(i'm assuming she's a pysch major)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372426)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:49 AM
Author: glassy bat shit crazy theater stain

...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372434)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:35 AM
Author: beady-eyed high-end point shitlib

You: can you do me a favor?

her: sure, what?

You: theres this really annoying/lame person talking to me on aim ...what can i say to them as an excuse as to why i can no longer chat?

Her: _____

you: (repeate what she just said)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372376)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:36 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Oh, come on...be serious. I want to go out with this girl!

It's getting fucking awkward. She knows I'm not busy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372380)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:17 AM
Author: awkward dingle berry

she's a smarty, watch out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372273)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:20 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Yeah, I know. She just keeps coming back. I need help on this one.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372283)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:11 AM
Author: topaz motley sound barrier police squad

tip: don't use "lines".

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372245)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:12 AM
Author: Concupiscible double fault

exactly.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372249)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:11 AM
Author: translucent foreskin

You feel that your mother never really loved you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372248)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:12 AM
Author: effete den

you: i'm feeling a little down...

her: why?

you: my dick just died...

you: can i bury it in your ass?

her: immediately

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372252)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:17 AM
Author: crystalline unholy set national security agency

Tell her you have a friend who wants to buy a strange pet. Ask her if she knows where you can buy a wallaby.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372269)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:20 AM
Author: house-broken library

haha wtf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372282)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:22 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

OK, I'll try this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372298)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:25 AM
Author: crystalline unholy set national security agency

Then insult her slightly, or give her a mixed compliment.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372318)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:25 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Like how?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372324)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:26 AM
Author: crystalline unholy set national security agency

Tell her she's pretty cute, for a girl on the Internet.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372333)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:30 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

OK, OK, I just did. Now what? (See above)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372350)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:22 AM
Author: Maize Base

a pale imitation

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372301)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:32 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Of what?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372361)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:32 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

COME ON HELP ME OUT GUYS!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372358)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:34 AM
Author: translucent foreskin

afer a long silence, say

"i rape"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372370)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:35 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Come on, don't be an ass. I need help here. Just cut me a break, OK?

What should I say?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372377)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:36 AM
Author: translucent foreskin

i think that if you want to meet you should just keep making lame jokes and stress common points of interest. Don't appear to eager to meet.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372381)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:38 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

at least talk about stupid shit while you're waiting for xoxo advice.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372389)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:41 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

OK, OK...I'm just ridiculously nervous.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372402)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:39 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

All right, how do I keep from looking eager?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372395)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:44 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

copy and paste your conv and i'll supply the lame jokes.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372410)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:46 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Thanks!

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372411

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372416)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:36 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

You: You have potential

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372379)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:37 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

OK, I like this. Sounds confident.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372383)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:39 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

it was supposed to be a response to her "so now i'm a porn star?"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372394)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:40 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Oh. Damn it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372397)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:41 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

use it anyway and update us

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372401)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:47 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

OK.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372422)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:43 AM
Author: crystalline unholy set national security agency

Post a pic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372406)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:48 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

I only know her MySpace, but it has all sorts of personal details too. I'm not gonna out her; there can be some sick fucks on xoxo.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372429)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:50 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

Post the pic without posting the profile. Right click on the pic, go to properties and copy/paste the url that has .jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372437)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:35 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

How do I do this on a Mac laptop? No right-click...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372619)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:50 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Me: Oh cool.

Me: My dad's a psychologist.

Her: oh cool.

What do I do now? My dad isn't a psychologist, so now I'm lying to her.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372441)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:51 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

see my edit

edit: tell her your dad's a pyschologist. and then tell her what he thinks about his job. any bullshit will do. she'll then start talking about why she's interested in it, etc...if she doesn't, you can ask her

(i'm assuming she's a pysch major)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372446)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:55 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

OK, I got it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372468)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:52 AM
Author: Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office

I majored in psychology in college. I wanted to get a Ph.D., but then realized that it was a worthless degree.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372449)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:01 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

Why do you think a Ph.D in it is worthless? You could do other jobs with it other than academia.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372496)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:52 AM
Author: glassy bat shit crazy theater stain

Tell her coffee is a performance enhancer...so if she wants to do well in the test she should drink some with you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372450)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:54 AM
Author: floppy stage community account

F-

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372460)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:55 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

not bad but i wouldnt say this until the end of the conversation. first, he needs to establish some rapport. another lame come on is not going to change her mind

the conversation is mundane enough that this might not be flame...



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372466)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:57 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

you need to get her to talk about herself

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372477)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:53 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Me: Did you know coffee is a performance enhancer?

Her: i cant study with coffee

Her: caffeine gives me a headache.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372456)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:54 AM
Author: Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office

So is adderall...I can get you some.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372458)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:56 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

this is good. "we could do some lines together instead"

bad edit. cocaine was better.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372470)





Date: March 19th, 2006 3:54 AM
Author: glassy bat shit crazy theater stain

...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372462)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:00 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

Post the pic without posting the profile. Right click on the pic, go to properties and copy/paste the url that has .jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372490)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:01 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

This will catch the boards interest and you'll get more and quicker responses

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372497)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:05 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Are you sure this won't out her? That would totally blow.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372511)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:07 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

Of course not. We post pics of tons of random different girls everyday. It doesn't out them.

http://myspace-383.vo.llnwd.net/00545/38/37/545527383_l.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372521)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:03 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Her: i cant study with coffee

Her: caffeine gives me a headache.

Me: My dad finds his job really tiring. Talking to patients all day can be really stressful, you know.

Her: hmm...i guess.

Her: but it is nice to be there for people. it must be rewarding to make such a difference in someones life.

Me: Oh yeah, sure.

Her: plus the way the brain works is really interesting. sometimes even compeletly counterintuitive. like you wouldnt expect at all. people are puzzles, you know.

Me: Totally agree.

Me: So what do you like most about psychology? The whole puzzle factor?

Her: yeah, i guess. opportunities for self-knowledge, you know.

Me: Well, you can get self-knowledge with coffee!

Her: lol

Her: youre really big on coffee.

Me: If you wanna chill at a bar sometime...

Her: ah, i see where this is headed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372504)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:04 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

stop sucking her dick

you're fucked but next time challenge her in some way...something like, "i don't know, i don't know if my dad really gets anything done. most of the people he sees don't want to change." it stupid, but that's okay. it sounds like you're being honest and your challenging her a little.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372508)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:07 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

I was trying to make small talk. This is why I need help.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372518)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:11 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

we're here for you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372539)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:05 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

what kind of self-knowledge has come to you through your studies?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372512)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:09 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

OK, this is good.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372529)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:13 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

what does she want to do after she gets her degree? most pysch majors i know don't want to become pyschologists

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372545)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:20 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

So what do they want to do or what do they end up doing?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372558)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:13 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

Post the pic already dood. We post pics of tons of random different girls everyday. It doesn't out them.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372544)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:15 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

who the fuck is on xoxo this late anyway? by morning this thread will be lost to history.

edit: post the pic and then delete it a couple of minutes later.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372550)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:34 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

OK, but how do I do this on an iMac? I can't right-click or anything.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372615)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:39 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

n/m...I figured it out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372633)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:18 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Her: ah, i see where this is headed.

Me: So what kind of self-knowledge did you get from your studies?

Her: um, do you really care?

Her: or are you just trying to pick me up again?

Me: No, no...I mean, if you still want to go to coffee, that's cool.

Her: sure

Me: But no, I really wanted to know.

Her: you're not just going to snore through this?

Me: Of course not.

Me: I grew up with psychology, so I always have a soft spot for it.

Her: ok, well, we're studying learning strategies in class. we had this test battery to determine our learning style. anyway im in the "auditory/tactile" category. meaning that i can absorb material really well in a lecture, but also pretty good with hands-on stuff. visual, not so much.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372553)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:20 AM
Author: Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office

tell her your learning style

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372556)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:22 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

I don't know my learning style! I just read the material and ace the fucking tests.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372567)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:23 AM
Author: Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office

You are the opposite of auditory. You learn from books, not lectures.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372570)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:23 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

take note of this and then you can make some jokes about being "pretty good with handson learning" after you sleep with her.

ask her what she wants to do with pysch, what else she's interested in, etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372569)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:28 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

You: Are you more into music than say, photography or painting? I wonder if there's a relationship

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372587)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:25 AM
Author: translucent foreskin

Send her your pic:

http://img.cybernetentertainment.com//imagedb//3490/i/s/410/21.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372574)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:31 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Her: ok, well, we're studying learning strategies in class. we had this test battery to determine our learning style. anyway im in the "auditory/tactile" category. meaning that i can absorb material really well in a lecture, but also pretty good with hands-on stuff. visual,

not so much.

Me: So what do you want do with your degree?

Her: thinking about education

Me: Cool. What level? Like academia, research?

Her: maybe child development specialty or elementary education

Me: I'm a visual learner. I don't get so much from the lectures.

Me: More of just reading the book, taking the test, you know.

Her: damn, i wish i could do that.

Her: would save me the trouble of dragging myself to lectures.

Me: lol

Me: Well, I still go to lectures. I just draw pictures there.

Her: haha

Her: well hopefully you're not being disruptive to those of us who DO need to go.

Me: Oh, no, of course not.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372604)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:36 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

Me: Well, I still go to lectures. I just draw pictures there.

good!

You: what other kinds of classes do you like? ceramics? (if you're good with your hands)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372621)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:38 AM
Author: blue blathering home famous landscape painting

dood, don't im all your conversational material; save it for your irl conversation with her.

tell her you have to get up early to go mountain climbing (or something else cool and athletic) and arrange to meet irl.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372632)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:40 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

she won't meet him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372634)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:41 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

The OP is like His Doodness.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372636)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:51 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

this guy doesn't seem very laid-back.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372653)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:41 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center
Subject: pic

http://myspace-383.vo.llnwd.net/00545/38/37/545527383_l.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372637)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:45 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

Nice dood. How much experience do you have with chicks- dating and relationships?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372642)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:59 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Not much. Usually I'm all right, because I'm fairly good-looking (not being vain; it's just something girls have told me), but I'm a hopeless geek, so it all falls apart if I have to rely on my convo skills.

What's frustrating is that I know she likes me, but I can't seem to get it together.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372665)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:46 AM
Author: blue blathering home famous landscape painting

you are a lucky motherfucker

she seems like she'd be really cool irl

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372644)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:49 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

i was just about to post something like that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372651)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:02 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

She is. That's why it's so frustrating. I really do like her, but I have no idea how to do this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372669)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:53 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

He needs to tell us more about this chick. If she's a slut, he should be able to get her to go for coffee. If she's not, she could get angry at him with his references to sex before they've ever gone out on a date.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372657)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:20 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

She doesn't seem like the slutty type. Flirty and funny, but she has a kinda conservative streak too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372680)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:52 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Her: well hopefully you're not being disruptive to those of us who DO need to go.

Me: Oh, no, of course not.

Her: ok thats good.

Her: otherwise you would be officially annoying.

Me: Not unless you get in knots over doddling.

Her: oh no

Me: So you prefer music to, I don't know, photography?

Her: if i can hear the lecture, it's all cool

Her: OMG, yes! i looooove music.

Her: my roomies and i get together for dance parties before going out on weekends.

Her: good fun

Me: Awesome.

Her: you a good dancer?

Me: I could use some practice.

Me: Years of being a wallflower, I guess.

Her: no, you should be really good then.

Her: being a visual learner and all... ;-p

Me: haha

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372654)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:54 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

Ask her if she could teach you to become a better dancer.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372658)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:56 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

don't do it! he's come on to her too many times tongiht. she's just started to loosen up again; this would set him back

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372662)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:58 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

But this would allow him to spend some time with her. They would be able to focus on the dancing so he wouldn't need to think of things to talk about.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372663)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:01 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

edit: on second thought, you're probably right.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372667)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:17 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Fuck, now I wished I'd gone with this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372677)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:55 AM
Author: blue blathering home famous landscape painting

She likes you man. You're in.

sign off now before you type something stupid.

arrange a meetup first.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372659)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:58 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

she already rejected him re: coffee twice. i think he should wait until he talks to her again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372664)





Date: March 19th, 2006 4:55 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

You: what kind of music do you like

is the obvious one

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372660)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:15 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Her: being a visual learner and all... ;-p

Me: haha

Me: So what kind of music do you like?

Her: you mean to listen or just to dance?

Me: Well, what kind of music do you and your roomies have for your dance parties?

Her: whatever has a good beat, i guess.

Me: Salsa?

Her: haha

Her: yeah salsas cool.

Me: It's a dance and a condiment at the same time.

Me: We should have more dances that are named after condiments.

Her: mustard doesnt make a good dance name.

Me: Well, the Salt and Pepper could work.

Her: sounds like a midlife crisis

Her: ;-p

Her: nah its just that salt and pepper is a little cliched

Me: Well, people could do the Relish.

Her: haha

Her: omg, that was so dorky and funny at the same time.

Me: You have an odd sense of humor.

Her: yeah i laugh at the most random things.

Me: Are you like the person who breaks out in laughter at funerals or something like that?

Me: You know, really inappropriate times. Like a kid gets hit with an ambulance and you're on the side just giggling like crazy?

Her: um, no.

Her: im not sick.

Me: Oh, no, that's not what I was saying...

Me: Never mind.

Shit, did I just screw it up AGAIN?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372675)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:17 AM
Author: Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office

you: it's a dance and a condiment at the same time

KILL SELF

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372678)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:20 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

stfu

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372681)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:18 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

the next time you're doing that well (at the Relish point), tell her you have to go, and then after she takes her exam, ask how she did, schmooze a little, and THEN ask her out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372679)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:22 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

say something like, "you probably have a lot of studying to do tomorrow so i should let you go. are you studying for anything besides pysch this weekend?"

go off on a tangent somewhere for a couple of minutes and then sign off.

just don't end it her giggling over a dead child's body.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372682)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:25 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Fuck, so I'm dead in the water?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372683)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:27 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

no, you're actually doing pretty well. most guys are idiots and/or bad at this so her expectations probably aren't that high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372687)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:34 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

you don't need to get a date out of your first IM conversation. unless the discourse at your party was intense or if you made out or something, i wouldn't recommend it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372695)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:26 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

Are you still talking to her?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372684)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:38 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Yeah. I need damage control and fast.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372715)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:26 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

"You know, really inappropriate times. Like a kid gets hit with an ambulance and you're on the side just giggling like crazy?"

I had a similiar reaction when I saw an old woman die. True story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372685)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:32 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

you fucked this up too much already

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372693)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:34 AM
Author: Tantric chad native

if she's white, then tell her you're black. white women are natutally attracted to black men.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372698)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:37 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

She already knows I'm white.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372710)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:40 AM
Author: Tantric chad native

then there's nothing we can do for you. it's over.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372725)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:36 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center
Subject: HOLY FUCK I'M GETTING LIFEPWN3D...FUCK

Me: Oh, no, that's not what I was saying...

Me: Never mind.

Me: I'm sorry.

Me: That was stupid.

Her: it was.

Me: I say stupid things a lot. Especially when I get really nervous and stuff.

Her: so when youre nervous you talk about kids getting hit by ambulances?

Me: Yeah, I guess so. Because I'm stupid.

Me: Can we just change the subject?

Her: by change the subject do you mean awkwardly ask me out for a date again?

Her: because the answer is no.

Me: Has it been that annoying?

Her: yes

Me: Oh.

Me: Sorry.

Her: i mean, youre a nice guy and all, but you've been asking me for coffee like the aflac duck.

Her: i feel like youre trying to pressure me into something.

Her: even though i like you.

Her: and i think you can be a really sweet guy.

Me: Oh no, I totally can.

Her: im not so sure now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372704)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:38 AM
Author: Tantric chad native

it's your ethnicity. tell her youre not white.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372712)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:38 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

leave, gameover

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372713)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:39 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

you're being idiotic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372719)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:40 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

you probably get no play fag

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372723)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:42 AM
Author: Tantric chad native

haha, pwn3d!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372729)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:44 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

he says i get no play and i'm a fag and therefore i'm pwn3d?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372737)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:47 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

calm down. she obviously likes him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372743)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:48 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

there was some kind of initial attraction, but what was there is now destroyed. shes probably a nice person

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372747)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:54 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

if it wasn't destroyed as of your post, his ending just destroyed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372769)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:39 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

she's awesome. how often are girls this honest?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372717)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:39 AM
Author: Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office

Give up and say that you will IM her some other time. Wait at least five days.

Asking advice from XOXOHTH was your first mistake.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372718)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:40 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

tell her bye and you will IM her tomorrow, but dont IM her until 5 days

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372721)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:40 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

Good advice.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372722)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:41 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

Back to dancing...Say that you'd like to get better at dancing. Tell her that since she is good at dancing, if she would be able to teach you how to get better at it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372728)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:42 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

this is fucking GAY ADVICE which will make her know hes trying to pick her up

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372730)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:48 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

But it's a reason for them to spend time together. She already knows he's trying to pick her up with his messed up coffee attempts. Won't she be more likely to want to see him if she thinks she could teach him something?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372746)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:49 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

maybe, but still, its too obvious hes faking the whole oh what are you in to blah blah blah because in the back of her mind she knows he is just trying to score a date. that is the bottom line.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372749)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:42 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

horrible advice. she feels "pressured."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372731)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:50 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

He's been pressuring her about coffee at different times in this conversation when it didn't fit well in the conversation to ask. The conversation can't get any worse so he might as well suggest the dancing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372755)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:42 AM
Author: Tantric chad native

good idea, but he's white. white and dancing dont mix.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372732)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:44 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

The Problem:

You took yourself out of control over her. You made youself sound like a wimp, a wussy, someone who is nervous and indecisive. You made yourself sound needy, creepy/psychotic, and desperate. You committed suicide, now get the fuck out of there. This was most likely her first opinion of you. It will last. It is very hard to change how a woman feels for a man, especially after such extensive damage.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372738)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:45 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

but.. Do you want to go kamikaze and see what can happen?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372740)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:48 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

he did that in the beginning and it fucked things up. ignoring her for 5 days or so will show her that he has self-control, and that's what he needs to demonstrate.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372748)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:50 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

http://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&mc=171&forum_id=2#5372721

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372752)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:49 AM
Author: Violent aphrodisiac mediation

FLAME - this is a copycat of a REAL thread that was much better.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372750)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:50 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

yeah i think it IS flame but w/e

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372753)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:53 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

what's "w/e"?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372760)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:53 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

whatever

confirmed: you probably dont talk with girls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372763)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:55 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

w/e.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372773)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:54 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Look, this isn't flame. If some other thread did this before me, whatever. I was just looking for advice since the people on this board seem pretty quick/funny.

Right now, I'm so depressed that I screwed it up.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372771)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:52 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Me: Oh no, I totally can.

Her: im not so sure now.

Me: Look, I'm nervous around you, all right? I don't always say stupid things, I just say stupid things to you because you make me feel different.

Me: I don't know. Maybe you have effect on people, [her name]. I'm sorry. I couldn't help being stupid around you.

Her: so first you assume i laugh at automobile accidents and now i kill the intelligence of everyone around me.

Me: Oh come on, that's not fair.

Her: you sure know how to make a girl feel special.

Her: look, im really tired right now and i need to get some rest.

Me: I'm sorry I couldn't give you all the glib one-liners you need before we could just have a cup of coffee together. I can't be as charming or smooth or fake as the other players out there.

Her: can we just drop it already? im getting a headache right now.

Me: OK, well, I hope you have sweet dreams.

Her: thanx

<logs off>

FUCK

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372757)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:53 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

you made it even worse fag

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372761)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:53 AM
Author: Tantric chad native

its over. your only hope is to start insulting her.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372762)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:54 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

TITCR

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372768)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:53 AM
Author: Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office

Your responses were terrible. Maybe you should wait until she doesn't remember who you are. It doesn't matter; elementary education is not prestigious.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372764)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:00 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Look, I'm feeling bad as it is already. Do you have rub salt in it?

I wasn't looking for prestige. I was just wanted to date a hot girl.

FUCK

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372788)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:04 AM
Author: Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office

She doesn't seem like your type anyway. If you are having trouble maybe it is because all you are trying to do is date a hot girl.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372796)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:05 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

wrong mindset

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372798)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:09 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Who? Zinafedel or me?

If this is another cheap shot at my expense, give me your home address so I can kick your ass.

EDIT: Fuck, I'm too depressed to do that either. I feel so fucking stupid.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372804)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:58 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

*sobs*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372783)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:59 AM
Author: translucent foreskin

Wow dude.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372786)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:05 AM
Author: house-broken library

wow, sorry dude

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372800)





Date: March 19th, 2006 12:00 PM
Author: blue blathering home famous landscape painting
Subject: what did I tell you dood?!? you talked yourself into a hole.

Date: March 19th, 2006 4:55 AM

Author: dmferry

She likes you man. You're in.

sign off now before you type something stupid.

arrange a meetup first.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372659)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5373283)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:58 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

next time remember these points:

be cocky, but funny

dont be desperate at all

dont be needy or overly emotional

BE a man

its ok to disagree

dont be a doormat

take charge

get her # asap

dont talk so much online

bonus tip - once you get her number, say you will call her soon, wait like 3 days though, and schedule for a day mon-thurs. dont question my ways, just trust me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372785)





Date: March 19th, 2006 5:59 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

as much as i hate to say this, that's all good advice.

edit:also, you should never be thinking about just one girl. if you're not that experienced, start with friendships and if you're as attractive as you say you are, it'll be easy to move past the friendship stage.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372787)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:02 AM
Author: Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office

TITCR

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372793)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:05 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Damn it, I did it all wrong!

I'm so fucking pissed off with myself right now. I was doing well, I knew it.

Why did I ever stop talking about Relish?

So I don't talk to her for 5 days? Then what? I'm not a good talker. I'm OK irl because my silence can come off as cool indifference, but over phone/IM, I get into a fucking nervous wreck as shown above. Fuck fuck fuck.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372797)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:11 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit
Subject: this is golden :

u should keep IM/phone to minimum anyway. use it to schedule things.

another tip: anticipation is the shit. this is what i did once-i told this girl i was going to draw her a picture. she said of what? i said i know what it is but i cant tell her. shes like oh will it be of something special we shared tonight? i said stop questioning my ways, im an artist. later on it was like a month and i still didnt do it. she said so what about the drawing? i told her great works often take years to complete, and she shouldnt question my ways. she did something later on like prematurely hang up for some reason on the phone, so i told her she owned me big time. i asked how u gonna repay me, she said i could have anything i wanted. i said i know exactly what i want, but i cant tell her now, i will tell her when i send her the drawing (a msg will be with it). with it i wrote, make me a necklace for the summer (shes in to that kind of stuff). and since thatd be letting you off too easy, you always talk about your thongs to me, so send me a picture of you in them and make sure its a nice pair. she was all too happy to oblige and sent me more than 1 picture.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372805)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:23 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

This wasn't golden. It was humiliating. I feel like I've been castrated in front of the entire fucking board.

It's my fault, of course, and there's no point in getting pissed off about it. I still am though.

Thank you for the tip on anticipation. I will keep that in mind for the future.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372827)





Date: March 19th, 2006 12:02 PM
Author: blue blathering home famous landscape painting

"u should keep IM/phone to minimum anyway. use it to schedule things. "

this is so fucken credited, and what I tried to tell him from the start.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5373294)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:11 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

Honestly, take ill kid's advice and start talking to as many attractive girls as you can. Think of them as "friends." You're putting to much pressure on yourself to get a date and it shows. Once you're talking to multiple girls that you're interested in, you won't seem as desperate-- because you won't be, you'll have another girl to turn to.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372809)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:14 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

Im an ill ass motherfucker, and I approve this message

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372814)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:31 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

OK, I think I can do that. The problem is that I have a lot of hot/attractive girls who are "friends" with me, but anytime we ever try to take it to the relationship level, I screw it up. Case in point: this thread.

And I'll be totally honest: When I like a girl, I don't want to go through that whole series of platonic gestures. I just want to have intercourse with her as soon as possible.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372831)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:38 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

How do you screw things up IRL? I thought you were just bad on IM/phone

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372836)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:45 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

I said conversation-wise, since there are other things to do besides talk irl. I still do stupid things like trip over myself (esp. dancing, which is why I tend to the "wallflower" mode) and forget her birthday, sometimes her name. Getting lost while driving is another one, forgetting times for dates (getting better with that now that I bought a watch). Bad memory tends to be the worst problem.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372841)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:46 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

See ill kid's thread on how not to screw it up.

Do you flirt with your "friends"? Make sure there's some sexual tension there.

Alcohol helps too, in so many ways.

EDIT: haven't seen 'beautiful mind.'

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372842)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:54 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

FUCK you I am isquoting from beautiful mind OK? because I"m a DRUNK LONELY FUCKING MATH MAJOR OK? I don' t rea

d Pla tobecause the math major CANNOT read and has no FUCKING SEX except for John nash.

FUCK HIM

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372848)





Date: March 19th, 2006 7:00 AM
Author: heady turquoise office

haha. sorry.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372856)





Date: March 19th, 2006 7:09 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

no man I"M sorr you were ther efor me tonite and I just tScrewed it up. fuci I can type anymlre cause I AM fucking drunk.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372869)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:50 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

When John Nash saw a chick in a bar, he went up to har and he was straight forward in asking her if she'd like to have sexual intercourse with him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372844)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:59 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

ye s and then she slap hm and he tells HER about the nash equibrum and hat was the roundation of the nash box in economics an dbame theo ry

FUCK F UCK FUC K FUCK FUCK FUCK FJCK

I want a nother chance FUCK screwed it all up fuck ing up AG AIN@

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372854)





Date: March 19th, 2006 7:03 AM
Author: Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office

Yes. Next time just talk about math all the time. Explain the Gauss-Bonet theorem. Tell her about the proof you are working on.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372862)





Date: March 19th, 2006 7:25 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

FUCK MATH

FUCK PROOF

FUC

K GREAST C URVWTURE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372883)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:41 AM
Author: multi-colored pearly locale laser beams

Why Monday-Thursday?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372837)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:44 AM
Author: provocative coral orchestra pit

women are paranoid, they over-analyze everything especially when it comes to relationships. by keeping it mon-thurs she will think things like:

"why did he not ask me for saturday or friday? Am I not good enough for that?"

"Am I not his main attraction?"

"Is there another women for those days?"

If it WERE saturday or friday, she would KNOW shes the main thing for his social lfie at that point. Women like men who are wanted, mysterious. They like selective men because then it makes them feel a cut above the other women. Women are jealous creature. If you ever want to make a woman feel good, tell her how much better looking she is than her friends.

It will also trigger things in her making the man seem less desperate and needy. Therefore, the man becomes the SELECTOR and the woman the person going after the man.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372839)





Date: March 19th, 2006 6:50 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

This make sense. I just read over con voagain after downing two shots. I definite ly need to assume a more active role.

I took Mr. Nice Guy out the back alley and shot him. The postmorte mshowed no spine and no guts.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372845)





Date: March 20th, 2006 2:52 AM
Author: pungent free-loading marketing idea station

Wrong. This is only good for the average girl. This specific girl already liked the douchey personality of HLSBound and he fucked it up by trying to be something he wasn't.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5379716)





Date: March 19th, 2006 7:19 AM
Author: Racy idiotic step-uncle's house

Hey, what's her IM screen name? She looks pretty hot and I'm gonna try my luck with her.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372879)





Date: March 19th, 2006 7:28 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

FUCK YOU

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372884)





Date: March 19th, 2006 7:49 AM
Author: Racy idiotic step-uncle's house

Yeah, that's great, but I really am more interested in fucking your friend. I'm sorry you're getting rejected again, but we can't all get laid.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372899)





Date: March 19th, 2006 7:57 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Go to hell y ou usele sss historognath befor I KI CK your a s

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372906)





Date: March 19th, 2006 8:08 AM
Author: Racy idiotic step-uncle's house

Easy up, old boy. Now, you're obviously a smart guy, so I'm going to explain my plan to you. This is your first time online with her, I gather. So just tell her that your friend Jerry found her SN written down somewhere and played a prank on you. Then show how clever, charming, etc. you really can be.

I'll even tell you what. I can do the conversation part for you (a la Cyrano de Bergerac, who woos the beautiful Roxanne on behalf of the handsome, but inarticulate, Christian). Just give me her screenname; cut and paste it in reply and we can put our plan into action. You can have that second chance!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372911)





Date: March 19th, 2006 8:24 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

Wi ll this work? Pl ease say you are nots hitting me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372922)





Date: March 19th, 2006 8:30 AM
Author: Racy idiotic step-uncle's house

No, I'm completely serious. I would be happy to help you. I totally understand where you're coming from, but the situation can be remedied. Don't listen to these other guys who say wait five days. Let's fix the situation right now.

I was ribbing you earlier, but now I'm being genuine.

EDIT: Just post her SN and then delete it right after I reply, OK?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372926)





Date: March 19th, 2006 8:38 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372932)





Date: March 19th, 2006 8:44 AM
Author: Racy idiotic step-uncle's house

Wow, actually she's still on-line. She has an away message, though:

"*sigh*

why do nice guys end up being the most pushy?"

See, she was still thinking about you. Now once she's back, I can set everything straight in an off-hand, casual way. Don't worry about it. I'm here for you now, my friend.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372941)





Date: March 19th, 2006 8:54 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372943)





Date: March 19th, 2006 9:00 AM
Author: Racy idiotic step-uncle's house
Subject: PWN3D!

To complete your pwnage for the evening, I just sent your potential date a link to this thread. Also, nice try with deletion:

"Date: March 19th, 2006 8:38 AM

Author: HLSbound

Wo w man yo u are the best I agre e Take act ion now~

her AIM is



jellyjellygurl62"

EDIT: I also took the precaution of downloading this whole thread, just in case you attempt a mass post deletion. Don't bother.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372947)





Date: March 19th, 2006 9:02 AM
Author: Fishy Thirsty Round Eye Box Office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372952)





Date: March 19th, 2006 7:25 AM
Author: pungent free-loading marketing idea station

obvious flame because the previous thread used almost the exact same title.

"Me: So, I'm usually not so forthright, but I really think you're a cute girl, and we should go for some coffee sometime.

Her: haha...so why arent you usually forthright? is there something i should know about before we meet? :-p"

This was yours to lose retard. She wanted to meet but you scared her off by being a moron. Then again, she's kinda bitchy so fuck her.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372882)





Date: March 19th, 2006 7:40 AM
Author: Autistic scourge upon the earth center

WHat pervious thread? If thisw as fucking falme I wo uld be FUCKING LA ID at the

end of thRead.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372891)





Date: March 19th, 2006 9:47 AM
Author: Olive Talented Forum Knife

A girl like this could be sold on someone in less than 10 minutes of IMing. The OP is woefully bad at the sort of verbal sparring that turns this type of girl on. The first time I read this thread I felt for him. Now I just shake my head at his ineptitude....he had it, and let it slip away, and then auto-pwn3d.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5373007)





Date: March 20th, 2006 2:39 AM
Author: pungent free-loading marketing idea station

disagree. she already seemed sold on him and all he had to do was ride it out. Instead he tried to do a 180 personality-wise and got pwn3d.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5379662)





Date: March 19th, 2006 9:36 AM
Author: mind-boggling jew casino

i'm about to pass back out, mothafucka!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372993)





Date: March 19th, 2006 9:53 AM
Author: Aromatic karate indian lodge

B+ for effort

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5373016)





Date: March 20th, 2006 3:55 AM
Author: Bateful gay wizard principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5379897)





Date: March 22nd, 2006 11:43 PM
Author: Razzmatazz aggressive church telephone

HLSbound is getting cocky. Think it's time to remind him of his royal pwnage on this board?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5403550)