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nutella gets paid $800k to draft compliance manuals and shit jfc
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Date: December 15th, 2017 5:43 PM Author: Lavender deer antler (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#34929813) |
Date: December 15th, 2017 5:44 PM Author: Tan menage tbqf that's pretty tough substantive work. lmao at junior associates just reading those manuals and copying them (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#34929818) |
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Date: December 15th, 2017 5:47 PM Author: canary passionate space place of business lmao
"front running is bad, mmmkay" |
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Date: December 15th, 2017 5:49 PM Author: Yapping Hilarious Trust Fund It is insanely intricate work when the manuals have to apply semilessly across multiple lines of business. You have to take inputs from hundreds of stakeholders before writing anything. Just the decision tree shit that looks like a simple one page flowchart can have a hundred faggots requesting changes or exceptions and all exceptions have to be tracked and all of it needs consensus building. It's politics, and legal drafting, and fucktons of hand holding because at the end of the day the analyst level employees are basically retards and can only follow very simple procedures. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#34929872) |
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Date: December 15th, 2017 5:49 PM Author: Lavender deer antler yeah its like a full time job (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#34929878) |
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Date: December 15th, 2017 5:50 PM Author: Yapping Hilarious Trust Fund That pays solid six figures because it's actually hard. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#34929888) |
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Date: December 15th, 2017 5:51 PM Author: Lavender deer antler crazy that nutella makes 500k though (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#34929894) |
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Date: December 15th, 2017 5:51 PM Author: canary passionate space place of business protip: nobody reads 90% of risk or compliance documents. it's all CYA bullshit.
so long as you don't give the green light to heinously illegal shit, you're fine.
lmao @ anyone taking this job seriously. |
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Date: December 15th, 2017 5:52 PM Author: Yapping Hilarious Trust Fund Oh, the regulators who run audits read it all. Try telling OCC they aren't entitled to policies and procedures because of trade secrets, bro. See how far that gets you.... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#34929905) |
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Date: December 15th, 2017 5:54 PM Author: canary passionate space place of business lol it's all check the box bullshit man
you just need to have a manual that nobody reads full of policies and procedures where people go through the motions of following them
sorry your job is bullshit
also TRUE illegal shit is just hid completely from compliance guys anyway, so you'll never save the bank |
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Date: December 15th, 2017 6:01 PM Author: Yapping Hilarious Trust Fund Everybody and their mother is out for your job so if you treat it like that you'll never climb higher than VP. It's really also not about catching vast conspiracies to defraud as much as legit stupid shit that bleeds the bank money every day like the bank having 10,000 subsidiary entities on its books that are no longer active and yet for some reason you've been paying franchise taxes and filing reports on all of these inactive shit entities for no reason for years and years at a cost of like $20 million for no reason at all. Just do flush $20 million down the toilet bcause your derivative traders set up a new business for every fucking trade and never close a fucking entity. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#34929981) |
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Date: December 15th, 2017 6:18 PM Author: canary passionate space place of business lol I can already tell you're the kind of self-important COMPLIANCE guy that all front office guys hate with a passion. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#34930082) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:27 AM Author: Titillating honey-headed station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025374) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:29 AM Author: Iridescent Multi-colored Useless Brakes Half-breed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025386) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:29 AM Author: gold business firm (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025391) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:29 AM Author: seedy pink black woman mood absolutely devastating (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025395) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:35 AM Author: drab fragrant pistol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025450) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:40 AM Author: Sooty international law enforcement agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025523) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:32 AM Author: sable pit sweet tailpipe Do a lot of GCs/CEOs come up through compliance? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025421) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 12:20 PM Author: Glassy Theatre No one here is going to be an F100 GC/CEO. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025869) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 12:26 PM Author: Glassy Theatre Isn't it both, including if there's massive fraud being able to demonstrate to regulators that your controls are solid? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025919) |
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Date: December 15th, 2017 5:45 PM Author: Yapping Hilarious Trust Fund Decks, bro. PowerPoint decks for senior managers. I have given the same presentation to different sets of manager 8x in two weeks at this new job. They literally could just play a tape at this point....
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:25 AM Author: canary passionate space place of business (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025346) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:26 AM Author: Comical ratface don't hate. she played the game with the rules in place. i'm sure her bonus is greater than my salary. someone gotta win the game...is what it is. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025360) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:28 AM Author: carnelian infuriating native I like nutella. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025381) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:31 AM Author: Comical ratface she creates content even if she comes off as clueless.
i feel like we're at a point where we know that what a person makes is basically a crap shoot not too much unlike the grade you get on a law exam. so ascribing any merit or value for sake of comparison just will never work. someone in detroit is an emt making 35k, some are 500k in house compliance managers. who is more valuable? who would you pick in your draft to make a new society? etc...etc. |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:33 AM Author: Lavender deer antler What the fuck are you talking about? What fucking content does she create? What a faggot thing to say. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025431) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:35 AM Author: Comical ratface there are threads with 100+ dedicated to shitting on singular poasts of hers. that's content creation, utterly deranged faggot. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025458) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:36 AM Author: Lavender deer antler That's fucking terrible "content" and anyone who clicks on one of those threads should be killed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025470) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:38 AM Author: Comical ratface the fact nutella's name is in this thread is the only reason anyone poasted in it. she built this very thread. not you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025496) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 5:11 PM Author: Sooty international law enforcement agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35028245) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:35 AM Author: Razzle smoky crackhouse *clobbers you with my double stitched fendi bag* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025460) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:42 AM Author: carnelian infuriating native *uses echolocation to find hidden wine-bar* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025544) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 12:37 PM Author: slate galvanic principal's office gaping (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025984) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 12:38 PM Author: seedy pink black woman mood lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025991) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:35 AM Author: big-titted address therapy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025462) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:33 AM Author: carnelian infuriating native I base my sense of self-worth on MPM rankings not income. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025433) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:35 AM Author: Razzle smoky crackhouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025457) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:29 AM Author: canary passionate space place of business kinda sad that you can make 800k as an adult hall monitor though, right?
also I'd be wary of bragging and acting proud if I were her. many a fund is here today, gone tomorrow. |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:30 AM Author: seedy pink black woman mood tbf, if you make $800k a year doing anything you have bragging rights. especially on this tweetboart full of prestige obsessed bug eyed freaks. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025405) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:31 AM Author: electric violet locale water buffalo pretty sure she only makes like 300-400k
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:32 AM Author: Comical ratface you kinda nail it here. if one is obsessed with prestige then it sounds like a big deal. but once you've met one too many retarded MBB and V5 partners you realize it's all bullshit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025422) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:35 AM Author: canary passionate space place of business I just mean if you make 800k at a hedge fund it's very different than making 800k as a surgeon or something. you may never make that kind of money ever again. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025455) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:35 AM Author: electric violet locale water buffalo surgeons dont make 800k on average
they make like 300k |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:37 AM Author: big-titted address therapy state your iq. where in his post did he say the avg surgeon makes 800k (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025478) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:39 AM Author: electric violet locale water buffalo im saying that surgeons likely wont ever make that again either (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025506) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 12:09 PM Author: canary passionate space place of business flame. absent egregious malpractice or molesting your patients, they can cruise to 20 years of big pay (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025803) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 1:04 PM Author: electric violet locale water buffalo https://www1.salary.com/Surgeon-Salary.html
90th percentile is 500K
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:39 AM Author: seedy pink black woman mood the key to making money in America is being really, really good at something tedious and horrible that everyone needs and nobody knows how to do well. writing compliance manuals for funds to run defense against government auditors trying to trip you up for millions in fines and penalties is something most people would rather burn their own eyes out of their skull than do.
if she's better than most at it, and can stomach doing it day in and day out without blowing brains out, it makes perfect sense she would be handsomely rewarded. |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:40 AM Author: Comical ratface cr. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025519) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:40 AM Author: electric violet locale water buffalo or just clicking "buy" on coinbase earlier this year (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025526) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:41 AM Author: Submissive set Lmao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025535) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:54 AM Author: Alcoholic impertinent kitchen french chef you are ignoring the part of her schtick where she crazily brags about how she only does 1-2 hours of honest work every day. a few years ago she was fully unhinged crowing about how her idiot bosses literally pay her above biglaw money to shop online and check her instagram account.
you dorks are creating a false narrative for her where she's really hard-working and capable. this misses the essential point of the nutella schtick which that she #alwayswins by never actually doing one minute of unpleasant work yet still outearns everyone who has ever posted on XO. |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:55 AM Author: electric violet locale water buffalo and yet somehow her net worth is still only 1 to 1.5 MM...LJL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025673) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:56 AM Author: Alcoholic impertinent kitchen french chef I bet the crypto stuff really does enrage her. particularly because mega grinders like her will never, ever have the risk tolerance to make real money in that kind of market. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025683) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:57 AM Author: electric violet locale water buffalo yup, it's 1-8-0
love how PETERMAN the prostitute is now richer than her, ljl |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:58 AM Author: seedy pink black woman mood I don't really know enough about nutella, I was speaking more generally lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025703) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 12:08 PM Author: canary passionate space place of business fair (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025789) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:30 AM Author: gold business firm i just dont get why these master of the universe hedge fund guys dont realize they can hire someone to do her job competently, and perhaps even better than she does, while paying like a quarter of what she gets. good for her that she landed that role, it just doesnt make a ton of sense to me (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025402) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:34 AM Author: canary passionate space place of business if your choice is pay 250k and constantly rotate through less competent people until you find a good one, then worry that your good person will eventually leave vs. pay 800k to someone who simply does the job right and will stay forever to pay for her hapa kid's 50k private school, it seems kind of obvious.
this kind of stuff isn't making the fund money, but if you fuck it up there can be massive fines and trouble, so it's worth spending more to not worry about it. |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:34 AM Author: Lavender deer antler Because her insect salary is a drop in the bucket
But this is changing
Lots of these bugs are getting stomped, automated and outsourced
Really hope it continues |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:36 AM Author: big-titted address therapy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025469) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:40 AM Author: Submissive set (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025524) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:40 AM Author: Submissive set What do I need to know to automate nutella’s Job? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025528) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 12:50 PM Author: olive flatulent halford national security agency I’ll tell you why. I work at a private company that is not beholden to shareholders who worry about the bottom line. When the top people are worth $500m+ and make $15-25m/year and clearly do not need to work, spending a few million more/year on bonuses to overpay staff is like a drop in the bucket. It’s also not like a biglaw firm with way more partners and much higher overhead with hundreds of associates. We are a small firm and a small legal dept.
Yes they can get away with paying a lot less, but they want to maintain low turnover and although many people can do my job (and better than I do it), ive been here awhile now and am in charge of a number of things that nobody else does. That’s why they pay a lot and they also give people deferred bonuses that vest over a number of years. It’s a very different model than how a lot of businesses are run. |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:51 AM Author: Alcoholic impertinent kitchen french chef that is definitely the narrative her stable of alts has been pushing.
she makes nowhere near $800K. that's a theoretical bonus windfall max-out. she has always oscillated between claiming her potential high-end all-in earning potential is just sort of her yearly income and more reasonably noting that it's just a possible earning ceiling. granted, funds are doing well right now but she would be receiving a more than $400K bonus to get there.
maybe she bragged about it and I missed it but you can be damn sure Nutella would be letting XO know if sniffs $800K. she'd be compulsively humble-bragging at every opportunity if she made over $500K, let alone 800K. |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 11:52 AM Author: Submissive set (nutella) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025650) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 12:21 PM Author: Glassy Theatre Link to her stating she makes $800k? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025878) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 12:23 PM Author: canary passionate space place of business (jealous COMPLIANCE associate) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025898) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 12:28 PM Author: Glassy Theatre OFFICER, actually. But seriously, if she made $800k then being in-house counsel doesn't really make me feel any better since she made like 3x what I made this year (and I doubt did anything more substantive than what I did). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025937) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 12:35 PM Author: olive flatulent halford national security agency I didn’t make $800k, but I’m past $600k now.
I don’t draft compliance manuals though my job is just as meaningless.
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Date: December 28th, 2017 12:36 PM Author: Purple self-centered digit ratio you are from SE asia? where? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025977) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 12:40 PM Author: Fighting immigrant from her pics it looks like laos or cambodia or some other shithole (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35025998) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 12:46 PM Author: Purple self-centered digit ratio both are nice places (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35026032) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 1:36 PM Author: Glassy Theatre That's legit impressive. I don't really draft compliance manuals either (I've contributed to some M&Ps - methods and procedures which are sort of our equivalents but only a few times in the last 5ish years). If I get the promotion I'm gunning for I'll still only be making about half what you make. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35026456) |
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Date: December 28th, 2017 5:12 PM Author: puce cheese-eating church Still beat me but I am catching up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35028267) |
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Date: December 29th, 2017 3:42 AM Author: canary passionate space place of business (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3830433&forum_id=2#35032453) |
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Date: December 29th, 2017 4:09 AM Author: puce cheese-eating church her compensation really is absurd. But good for her and lucky for her.
Whereas I grind to beat out biglaw friends (who have all been counseled) and grind to eventually catch up to nutella. |