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BAM! you're thrown into an NBA game. How bad do you fuck things?

?
Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard
  05/05/06
I would just throw the ball as hard as I could into the defe...
Hairraiser university alpha
  05/05/06
You can't get out of the game that easily. How long before i...
Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard
  05/05/06
Well since I'm about 6' it would probably be immediately obv...
swashbuckling ladyboy
  05/05/06
about 2 seconds. anybody on this board who says differently...
Hairraiser university alpha
  05/05/06
Yea, even if you're 7 feet (like DISH says above) you prob w...
Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard
  05/05/06
No way dude, being 7' gives you excuses for being slow, unco...
swashbuckling ladyboy
  05/05/06
Which proves my point, people would know instantly that you ...
Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard
  05/05/06
instantly for me. i wouldn't be able to keep my dribble for...
Aphrodisiac Cheese-eating Mental Disorder Lettuce
  05/05/06
I'd probably just jack up 3's until they pull me out of the ...
swashbuckling ladyboy
  05/05/06
But in this hypo you MUST play.
Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard
  05/05/06
Well I'd probably do what I do whenever I play a pickup game...
swashbuckling ladyboy
  05/05/06
Except that every time you touch the ball you would have a 6...
Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard
  05/05/06
Dribble through his legs AND1 style!
swashbuckling ladyboy
  05/05/06
In his tirade against players who were complaining too much ...
Aphrodisiac Cheese-eating Mental Disorder Lettuce
  05/05/06
I'd be Steve Nash 2.0. Probably looks for a nice dish most o...
spectacular tantric cruise ship
  05/05/06
I'd think you'd be more like tha K.O.B.E.
titillating dilemma rigpig
  05/05/06
I would stand in the middle of the court and do that dribble...
titillating dilemma rigpig
  05/05/06
I'd go for 20 and 10 and then rape a white chick in the hote...
hyperventilating supple stage tank
  05/05/06
i'd set some real good picks and get run the fuck over. then...
Dashing sadistic black woman
  05/05/06
lol, this is probably the most likely scenario
Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard
  05/05/06
except I think the game would move too fast for him to set s...
titillating dilemma rigpig
  05/05/06
Watch more NBA basketball. Moving picks are legal. HTFH.
Irradiated hilarious yarmulke
  05/05/06
As is traveling.
Lilac Boistinker
  03/10/07
Yea I bet I would just constantly walk into traps if I had t...
swashbuckling ladyboy
  05/05/06
i think it's more likely that the guy defending you wouldn't...
odious gaped idea he suggested
  05/05/06
it would be immediately apparent within a few seconds what a...
Magenta windowlicker
  05/05/06
I dunno, I suppose they wouldn't even bother really guarding...
swashbuckling ladyboy
  05/05/06
Oh, fer sure once they discovered who you were. I guess I w...
Magenta windowlicker
  05/05/06
Probably when I ran down the court once and was visibly weez...
Citrine goal in life
  05/05/06
i'd try to fight the other team's best player and get him ej...
cracking theater stage dysfunction
  05/05/06
GET PWN3D
Fluffy thriller selfie house
  05/05/06
fascinating. thanks.
Dashing sadistic black woman
  05/05/06
Great story. I remember Kenny Smith joking about how peop...
razzle-dazzle institution cuck
  05/05/06
AWESOME
Glittery locale
  03/10/07
Compared to Earl Boykins, I'm an inch shorter and ~25 pounds...
Up-to-no-good trust fund space
  05/05/06
Twenty-five pounds lighter than Earl? I think they'd also n...
silver razzmatazz theater sandwich
  05/05/06
Hahhhhhhhahahahaha
razzle-dazzle institution cuck
  05/05/06
I'd run screens until I fouled out.
floppy crusty principal's office puppy
  05/05/06
If I got the ball, I would just cradle it in my arms, kneel ...
silver razzmatazz theater sandwich
  05/05/06
This thread is suprisingly hilarious.
Coral whorehouse ratface
  05/05/06
i'd mimic Kwame Brown
ivory sticky forum
  05/05/06
i probably wouldn't be able to get away from the defender to...
odious gaped idea he suggested
  05/05/06
I have the mass to slam myself into one of the opposite team...
Fragrant wrinkle
  05/05/06
it's on. fifty rebounds.
excitant boltzmann
  05/05/06
Underrated Gem (Marky Mark in Basketball Diaries)
insanely creepy friendly grandma newt
  12/10/07
i'd call rapscallion, he played played pro basketball in a b...
ivory sticky forum
  05/05/06
lol, credited!
Aphrodisiac Cheese-eating Mental Disorder Lettuce
  05/05/06
Realistic scenario: NBA niggers are huge and very fast. T...
Vigorous church becky
  05/05/06
I would call a timeout even though we had none and lose the ...
white sanctuary fanboi
  05/05/06
I played a little one on one against a guy who had played pr...
Razzle internal respiration indian lodge
  05/05/06
...
concupiscible heaven
  05/05/06
I would clothesline Kobe.
henna wagecucks
  05/05/06
DO I know you kid? Who are you?
Razzle internal respiration indian lodge
  05/05/06
he musta not been hugged enough as a child or something. yo...
excitant boltzmann
  05/05/06
the credited response should be: Take a middle outside sl...
Rough-skinned national security agency school cafeteria
  05/05/06
its harder to break someones legs than you think.
henna wagecucks
  05/05/06
im 6'3 220. at full speed i could do some damage. I'd just b...
Rough-skinned national security agency school cafeteria
  05/05/06
I've been upended landing on my face, neck, back, all sorts ...
henna wagecucks
  05/05/06
well i mean i could just theiseman him when he was standing ...
Rough-skinned national security agency school cafeteria
  05/05/06
at best, you'd D-wade him.
indigo comical immigrant new version
  04/15/07
i'm not scared of those pussies. i'd walk up to the biggest...
Histrionic temple
  05/05/06
Man, even with a hilarious thread above it, this post is pur...
doobsian public bath toilet seat
  05/05/06
lol
excitant boltzmann
  05/05/06
LMAO
Glittery locale
  03/10/07
I run into the stands. If someone tries to force me to play...
180 associate home
  05/05/06
there are easier ways of not going into the game. for e...
Rough-skinned national security agency school cafeteria
  05/05/06
While I agree that NBA players are 1000X better than even go...
racy sapphire clown blood rage
  05/05/06
totally wrong. even fat shawn kemp could pwn all but the bes...
Razzle internal respiration indian lodge
  05/05/06
if you've ever been around professional athletes, and in the...
adulterous faggot firefighter
  05/05/06
dream killer
excitant boltzmann
  05/05/06
titcr
adventurous garrison dog poop
  05/05/06
This is pretty credited, but NBA players aren't as strong as...
Vigorous church becky
  05/05/06
No, they're strong as hell. There's a difference between bru...
godawful stock car death wish
  05/05/06
I'd do just fine.
adventurous garrison dog poop
  05/05/06
...
swashbuckling ladyboy
  05/05/06
I'm 6'6" and 230, and in college I often played pickup ...
flesh multi-colored sound barrier school
  05/05/06
Growing up, Spud Webb was a member of the same country club ...
Frisky zombie-like business firm
  05/05/06
Very interesting. I would probably be exposed in that my sta...
Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard
  05/05/06
that's awesome
swashbuckling ladyboy
  05/05/06
When i was in like 10th, 11th grade I went to basketball cam...
Talented territorial location trump supporter
  05/05/06
wtf was the speech like? did he rep his album?
arousing sneaky criminal
  05/05/06
blat blat
Stirring Range
  04/15/07
DAMN you guys are awesome at story telling.
Glittery locale
  03/10/07
titcr
spruce mad cow disease
  12/10/07
The thread that started it all.
Turquoise Big-titted Set
  03/10/07
didn't puerto rico beat a team full of NBA players?
bat shit crazy hateful people who are hurt address
  03/10/07
bump
big burgundy hall really tough guy
  04/15/07
I fucking love this thread. I'm gonna go play ball tomorrow...
Stirring Range
  04/15/07
excluding the post below, this thread is TTT
diverse pit
  04/15/07
I really miss that guy
Claret corner
  04/15/07
classicbump
Judgmental Preventive Strike
  10/12/07
I don't. I score the winning basket.
Painfully honest resort
  10/12/07
Question: Am I me, or lil' bow wow?
Slate stimulating hospital
  12/10/07
...
Chestnut pungent rehab community account
  04/04/08
...
Internet-worthy area
  11/13/08


Poast new message in this thread





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:15 AM
Author: Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718249)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:21 AM
Author: Hairraiser university alpha

I would just throw the ball as hard as I could into the defender's face.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718270)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:22 AM
Author: Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard

You can't get out of the game that easily. How long before it becomes clear to the world you have zero bball skills?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718276)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:27 AM
Author: swashbuckling ladyboy

Well since I'm about 6' it would probably be immediately obvious.

If I was 7' tall I bet I could look legit for about 3-4 months. I mean shit, look at Rasho Nesterovic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718312)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:27 AM
Author: Hairraiser university alpha

about 2 seconds. anybody on this board who says differently is full of shit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718318)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:29 AM
Author: Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard

Yea, even if you're 7 feet (like DISH says above) you prob would trip all over yourself because of the immense pressure.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718332)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:33 AM
Author: swashbuckling ladyboy

No way dude, being 7' gives you excuses for being slow, uncordinated and a terrible shooter.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718355)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:35 AM
Author: Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard

Which proves my point, people would know instantly that you have no skill! Still, you could probably bang some groupie that same night post-game (unless nba players don't do this?)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718371)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:28 AM
Author: Aphrodisiac Cheese-eating Mental Disorder Lettuce

instantly for me. i wouldn't be able to keep my dribble for more than a second, i'd never get a shot off, and on defense i wouldn't be able to keep up with anyone, even the fat, slow dudes.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718323)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:21 AM
Author: swashbuckling ladyboy

I'd probably just jack up 3's until they pull me out of the game.

Honestly, being a bench-warmer in the NBA would be pretty fucking tight, I mean you have to work your ass off and be the bitch in practice, but shit, you still make good money and have little pressure. Of course you might only last a few years, but you could save up some serious cash.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718274)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:22 AM
Author: Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard

But in this hypo you MUST play.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718278)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:25 AM
Author: swashbuckling ladyboy

Well I'd probably do what I do whenever I play a pickup game with non-asians -> pass the ball as soon as I get it and then camp near the basket and go for rebounds

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718297)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:26 AM
Author: Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard

Except that every time you touch the ball you would have a 6'8 fucker standing over you waiting for your weak pass! What do you do now?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718308)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:28 AM
Author: swashbuckling ladyboy

Dribble through his legs AND1 style!



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718322)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:22 AM
Author: Aphrodisiac Cheese-eating Mental Disorder Lettuce

In his tirade against players who were complaining too much about bad foul calls, David Stern said the average salary was 5 million in the NBA. Unlike those loser-baseball-fucks, they actually deserve it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718279)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:26 AM
Author: spectacular tantric cruise ship

I'd be Steve Nash 2.0. Probably looks for a nice dish most of the time and take a jumper if there isn't an open teammate.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718307)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:27 AM
Author: titillating dilemma rigpig

I'd think you'd be more like tha K.O.B.E.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718314)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:26 AM
Author: titillating dilemma rigpig

I would stand in the middle of the court and do that dribble between the legs drill until we got a shot clock violation.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718309)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:28 AM
Author: hyperventilating supple stage tank

I'd go for 20 and 10 and then rape a white chick in the hotel.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718326)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:31 AM
Author: Dashing sadistic black woman

i'd set some real good picks and get run the fuck over. then id get trapped in the corner and turn the ball over.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718342)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:32 AM
Author: Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard

lol, this is probably the most likely scenario

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718350)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:35 AM
Author: titillating dilemma rigpig

except I think the game would move too fast for him to set some "real good picks". He'd probably be called for a moving pick.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718367)





Date: May 5th, 2006 7:02 AM
Author: Irradiated hilarious yarmulke

Watch more NBA basketball. Moving picks are legal. HTFH.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718617)





Date: March 10th, 2007 3:03 AM
Author: Lilac Boistinker

As is traveling.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7732856)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:35 AM
Author: swashbuckling ladyboy

Yea I bet I would just constantly walk into traps if I had the ball.

I bet no one on this board could even successfully bring the ball up court themselves

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718373)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:25 PM
Author: odious gaped idea he suggested

i think it's more likely that the guy defending you wouldn't need to set a trap to take the ball away.

i'll be this goes for everyone here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719830)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:39 AM
Author: Magenta windowlicker

it would be immediately apparent within a few seconds what a disgusting horrible weak link I was. I've played with a number of NBA caliber players, and, at that level guys that were four or five inches taller than me (and I'm 6'3") were the kind of fast the average high school team only sees out of its 5'2" scrappy little bastard that is only there because he moves so quick.

Anyone under 6'10" or so would be exposed instantly on defense where they wouldn't stand a shot of keeping up with their man and on offense when they would fail to even gain enough separation to receive a pass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718395)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:50 AM
Author: swashbuckling ladyboy

I dunno, I suppose they wouldn't even bother really guarding you and would WANT you to get a pass b/c you'd turn the ball over almost immediately.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718439)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:52 AM
Author: Magenta windowlicker

Oh, fer sure once they discovered who you were. I guess I was getting ahead of myself and just pointing out that you couldn't even hide yourself, so to speak, in the situations where most xoxo'ers might assume they could squeak by for a minute or two: without the ball and without directly guarding the ball/being posted up.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718444)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:49 AM
Author: Citrine goal in life

Probably when I ran down the court once and was visibly weezing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718435)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:51 AM
Author: cracking theater stage dysfunction

i'd try to fight the other team's best player and get him ejected

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718443)





Date: May 5th, 2006 5:30 AM
Author: Fluffy thriller selfie house
Subject: GET PWN3D

I play basketball (well) on a regular basis, so part of me wants to say that I would hold my own for a few minutes... but the truth is that any of us would be iso'ed and PWN3D immediately. I once played 1-on-1 with a benchwarmer NBA player. I could do NOTHING to stop his shooting, and he hit just about everything, from distance. My defense was NOTHING to him. And I was trying very hard. Once in a while he decided to drive, and that was at will, and he PWN3D my ass.

Then I played 2-on-2 with Drexler. That was a trip. First off, the guy kicked the shit out of my friend and I , playing with his young DAUGHTER. The gliding was ridiculous. He would just jump and wait in the air for a few seconds until you were long gone, then lay it up. Crazy fuck. At one point he just showed me the ball. Just held it right in front of my face. I slapped at it. It didn't move an inch. So I just wound up and punched the shit out of it as hard as I could. IT DIDN'T MOVE. AT ALL. My shoulder was fucked up for a few days. Drexler laughed his ass off and then PWN3D me like no one ever has.

The moral of the story is that NBA players are really fucking good. Anyone on this board would get absolutely fucked. PERIOD.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718594)





Date: May 5th, 2006 8:33 AM
Author: Dashing sadistic black woman

fascinating. thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718723)





Date: May 5th, 2006 9:52 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle institution cuck

Great story.

I remember Kenny Smith joking about how people think they could make it in the L because they were beter than Steve Kerr--he was like, "Kerr would give you fifty."

I didn't believe this until I saw a bench backup center for a few years in phoenix (saw maybe thirty minutes a season on average) playing a tournament in Dallas for charity and when he was hard fouled and got angry, dropped something ridiculous--like 14 for 16 on the opposing team and they were double and triple teaming him.

The talent level at that stage is so high it's ridiculous.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719043)





Date: March 10th, 2007 10:06 PM
Author: Glittery locale

AWESOME

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7735875)





Date: May 5th, 2006 6:05 AM
Author: Up-to-no-good trust fund space

Compared to Earl Boykins, I'm an inch shorter and ~25 pounds lighter. Either they wouldn't acknowledge my existence, or I would instantly get blown into the next week.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718604)





Date: May 5th, 2006 8:40 AM
Author: silver razzmatazz theater sandwich

Twenty-five pounds lighter than Earl? I think they'd also notice that you were a girl.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718746)





Date: May 5th, 2006 9:53 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle institution cuck

Hahhhhhhhahahahaha

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719045)





Date: May 5th, 2006 8:36 AM
Author: floppy crusty principal's office puppy

I'd run screens until I fouled out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718735)





Date: May 5th, 2006 8:41 AM
Author: silver razzmatazz theater sandwich

If I got the ball, I would just cradle it in my arms, kneel on the ground and call a time-out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718753)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:13 PM
Author: Coral whorehouse ratface

This thread is suprisingly hilarious.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719773)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:14 PM
Author: ivory sticky forum

i'd mimic Kwame Brown

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719778)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:30 PM
Author: odious gaped idea he suggested

i probably wouldn't be able to get away from the defender to get a pass.

if i somehow got the ball, my defender would take it away from me almost instantly.

on defense, i would be either run over or faked out.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719859)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:35 PM
Author: Fragrant wrinkle

I have the mass to slam myself into one of the opposite team's guards or small forwards, flagrant-foul them, scream at the ref until he gives me a technical, get myself ejected, and that would be that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719892)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:40 PM
Author: excitant boltzmann

it's on. fifty rebounds.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719912)





Date: December 10th, 2007 6:18 PM
Author: insanely creepy friendly grandma newt

Underrated Gem

(Marky Mark in Basketball Diaries)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#9007464)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:44 PM
Author: ivory sticky forum

i'd call rapscallion, he played played pro basketball in a bathhouse

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719927)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:05 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac Cheese-eating Mental Disorder Lettuce

lol, credited!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720530)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:43 PM
Author: Vigorous church becky

Realistic scenario:

NBA niggers are huge and very fast. The probability of them quickly stealing a dribble from me or anyone else here is exactly 100%. On defense, we would be totally exposed.

That said, on offense, I doubt anyone would bother to guard me since they'd get more benefit from double teaming someone else. I still wouldn't be able to take any shots down low since I'm sure the other players are quick enough to swat me from the weak side.

I could knock down wide open mid-range and outside shots easily, although I'd probably only shoot 20-40% due to all the pressure. If guarded, I doubt I could get a shot to the rim.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720362)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:47 PM
Author: white sanctuary fanboi

I would call a timeout even though we had none and lose the national championship.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720397)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:57 PM
Author: Razzle internal respiration indian lodge

I played a little one on one against a guy who had played pro ball in Europe. When he decided to play defense I couldn't take 2 consecutive dribbles without losing the ball.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720473)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:59 PM
Author: concupiscible heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720489)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:59 PM
Author: henna wagecucks

I would clothesline Kobe.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720491)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:07 PM
Author: Razzle internal respiration indian lodge

DO I know you kid? Who are you?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720539)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:33 PM
Author: excitant boltzmann

he musta not been hugged enough as a child or something. you look at him and he gets all insecure.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721220)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:09 PM
Author: Rough-skinned national security agency school cafeteria

the credited response should be:

Take a middle outside slot on a 1-3-1 zone. Wait for Kobe to drive the lane and go up for a dunk. Run at him full speed and duck, taking out his legs and ending his career.

Go down in history as most loved and hated scrub of all time

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720555)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:12 PM
Author: henna wagecucks

its harder to break someones legs than you think.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720579)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:16 PM
Author: Rough-skinned national security agency school cafeteria

im 6'3 220. at full speed i could do some damage. I'd just bank on him landing on his neck honestly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720603)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:27 PM
Author: henna wagecucks

I've been upended landing on my face, neck, back, all sorts of shit.

its easy to get hurt, but its hard to cause someone a career ending injury without assaulting them well beyond what you would expact in a game (i.e hitting them with a sledgehammer).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720694)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:44 PM
Author: Rough-skinned national security agency school cafeteria

well i mean i could just theiseman him when he was standing in the paint waiting for a board or something. ill say i tripped or got shoved from behind

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720827)





Date: April 15th, 2007 5:15 AM
Author: indigo comical immigrant new version

at best, you'd D-wade him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934706)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:17 PM
Author: Histrionic temple

i'm not scared of those pussies. i'd walk up to the biggest nigger on the other team and punch him in the face as hard as i could. it would start a team brawl, and in the chaos i could slip away and rape 3, maybe 4 cheerleaders before anyone was the wiser. cuz that's how i roll.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720613)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:04 PM
Author: doobsian public bath toilet seat

Man, even with a hilarious thread above it, this post is pure gold.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720996)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:34 PM
Author: excitant boltzmann

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721230)





Date: March 10th, 2007 10:09 PM
Author: Glittery locale

LMAO

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7735889)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:35 PM
Author: 180 associate home

I run into the stands. If someone tries to force me to play, I threated to sue.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721231)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:43 PM
Author: Rough-skinned national security agency school cafeteria

there are easier ways of not going into the game.

for example when pat riley looks down the bench and calls your name as you jog past him to the scorers table just go "yo pat, your wifes a dirty cunt" you'll be on waivers before you can say habanera

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721294)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:56 PM
Author: racy sapphire clown blood rage

While I agree that NBA players are 1000X better than even good basketball players, but the notion that you have to have super human strength to avoid being exposed as a fraud is absurd. Over the years, there have been plenty of older payers with shot-up knees, or overweight players who could hardly jump and get up the court who were still able to play in the league. They weren’t very good, but they remained in the league.

A guy in good shape with decent size (who knows how to play basketball) can run up on down the court and play back-off defense (give the guy the parameter shot) for a while before being exposed, as long as he doesn’t try anything on offense.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721387)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:01 PM
Author: Razzle internal respiration indian lodge

totally wrong. even fat shawn kemp could pwn all but the best players.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721428)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:33 PM
Author: adulterous faggot firefighter

if you've ever been around professional athletes, and in their athletic setting, you would know that the difference is immediately conspicuous. maybe you could blend in as a right-fielder for a while -- but only until any ball that required mobility exposed you. the pace of basketball is so much faster, even with pretty good high school players, that even guys who play a lot of pick-up games, reliably say "nice look," and think they do a credible imitation of a point guard would be a massive liability among real players. the basic flow of an NBA game is comparable to running into an NFL line, facing a major league pitcher, or attempting to just blend in on an NHL line shift. they are so much faster, bigger, stronger, more skilled, and more experienced that you not only couldn't keep up, but most people would get physically pummeled. the idea that something like taking a jump shot or playing "back-off defense" would be anything like what you're accoustomed to is absurd -- unless of course you are either unusually big, skilled, or both.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721665)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:47 PM
Author: excitant boltzmann

dream killer

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721789)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:47 PM
Author: adventurous garrison dog poop

titcr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721790)





Date: May 5th, 2006 5:18 PM
Author: Vigorous church becky

This is pretty credited, but NBA players aren't as strong as you make them out to be. I remember the announcers making a huge deal about Kevin Willis benching 420, and he was a total fucking beast. I doubt the guards are really any stronger than the average man who is in pretty good shape. The real gap is in speed and reflexes. They would pwn us with their lightning hands and there isn't anything we could do about it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5722053)





Date: May 5th, 2006 5:40 PM
Author: godawful stock car death wish

No, they're strong as hell. There's a difference between brute weightlifting strength and being able to overpower your opponent using strength, agility, and leverage. Basketball players have more of the latter, because the game doesn't really lend itself to huge muscle mass (you have to be very quick, and more muscle adds more weight, which ostensibly slows you down). In other words, NBA players are stronger than all of us, because basketball play doesn't rely as heavily on muscle as it relies on other intangibles. Football is different, because brute strength is actually required for some positions, and more pure muscle strength and mass is much more important than it is in basketball.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5722198)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:28 PM
Author: adventurous garrison dog poop

I'd do just fine.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721619)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:49 PM
Author: swashbuckling ladyboy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721814)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:44 PM
Author: flesh multi-colored sound barrier school

I'm 6'6" and 230, and in college I often played pickup with some of our varsity starters, including one guy who got drafted by the Cavs. I could hold my own, especially on defense.

That was all a lie, within 8 seconds of game time their worst player would be picking goo from between his sneaker treads that used to be my tubby ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721764)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:47 PM
Author: Frisky zombie-like business firm

Growing up, Spud Webb was a member of the same country club my family was. He lived out on the golf course, and had a pretty nice outdoor basketball court. He would always host parties in the summer time and various NBA players would come... One year, for whatever reason the guys who won the Dallas Hoop-it-Up tourney were at his house... they played against Spudd and NBA no names. It wasn't even close... Spud's team DESTROYED these three dudes. It was ugly.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721787)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:50 PM
Author: Chest-beating Vengeful Library Haunted Graveyard

Very interesting. I would probably be exposed in that my stamina will last less time than the shot clock.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721824)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:50 PM
Author: swashbuckling ladyboy

that's awesome

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721828)





Date: May 5th, 2006 6:33 PM
Author: Talented territorial location trump supporter

When i was in like 10th, 11th grade I went to basketball camp, the ages of the camp were like 5th to 11th grade. So one day the guy who runs the camp tell us he has a special guest, and the special guest happens to be Ron Artest. This is while he is at St. Johns and not really known as crazy yet. After a boring 15-20 minute speech from Arest, the guy who runs the camp tells us that Artest has agreed to play the entire camp 1 on 1. He gets the ball first and first one to score wins.

Artest doesn't take it easy on anyone, even against like the 5-th graders he is taking it in and dunking it and yelling as he does it. Finally as Artest starts to mix in more jumpers he misses one and a camper finally gets the ball. The kid tries to shoot an immediate 3 and gets rejected. I was about the 50th or so person to go. I played the "lay off" defense you guys were talking about hoping to get him to shoot a jumper. He pulls up, shoots right inside the (college) 3pt line and misses and I get the ball. My only real move is a hard drive to the left, so i drive it hard to the left and maybe i deluded myself into thinking i had a step, but I pull a ball fake and he jumps in the air, and as i go to shoot it he recovers and blocks the ball almost to like halfcourt. He ends up recovering the ball and dunking it on me.

He played the entire camp, which was at least 100 kids, and didn't lose to anyone. The whole thing took hours.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5722548)





Date: May 5th, 2006 6:58 PM
Author: arousing sneaky criminal

wtf was the speech like? did he rep his album?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5722697)





Date: April 15th, 2007 5:21 AM
Author: Stirring Range

blat blat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934711)





Date: March 10th, 2007 10:14 PM
Author: Glittery locale

DAMN you guys are awesome at story telling.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7735921)





Date: December 10th, 2007 6:10 PM
Author: spruce mad cow disease

titcr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#9007442)





Date: March 10th, 2007 1:57 AM
Author: Turquoise Big-titted Set

The thread that started it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7732636)





Date: March 10th, 2007 3:06 AM
Author: bat shit crazy hateful people who are hurt address

didn't puerto rico beat a team full of NBA players?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7732869)





Date: April 15th, 2007 4:51 AM
Author: big burgundy hall really tough guy

bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934678)





Date: April 15th, 2007 4:56 AM
Author: Stirring Range

I fucking love this thread.

I'm gonna go play ball tomorrow just to remind myself how bad I am.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934683)





Date: April 15th, 2007 5:16 AM
Author: diverse pit
Subject: excluding the post below, this thread is TTT

Date: May 5th, 2006 2:17 PM

Author: Red Means Go (I'm Red Means Go and I approve of this post)

i'm not scared of those pussies. i'd walk up to the biggest nigger on the other team and punch him in the face as hard as i could. it would start a team brawl, and in the chaos i could slip away and rape 3, maybe 4 cheerleaders before anyone was the wiser. cuz that's how i roll.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720613)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934708)





Date: April 15th, 2007 5:23 AM
Author: Claret corner

I really miss that guy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934713)





Date: October 12th, 2007 7:19 PM
Author: Judgmental Preventive Strike

classicbump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#8760506)





Date: October 12th, 2007 7:20 PM
Author: Painfully honest resort

I don't. I score the winning basket.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#8760509)





Date: December 10th, 2007 6:19 PM
Author: Slate stimulating hospital

Question: Am I me, or lil' bow wow?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#9007471)





Date: April 4th, 2008 1:36 PM
Author: Chestnut pungent rehab community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#9577598)





Date: November 13th, 2008 7:02 PM
Author: Internet-worthy area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#10358743)