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BAM! you're thrown into an NBA game. How bad do you fuck things?

?
Ocher stage
  05/05/06
I would just throw the ball as hard as I could into the defe...
exhilarant mexican hall
  05/05/06
You can't get out of the game that easily. How long before i...
Ocher stage
  05/05/06
Well since I'm about 6' it would probably be immediately obv...
Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus
  05/05/06
about 2 seconds. anybody on this board who says differently...
exhilarant mexican hall
  05/05/06
Yea, even if you're 7 feet (like DISH says above) you prob w...
Ocher stage
  05/05/06
No way dude, being 7' gives you excuses for being slow, unco...
Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus
  05/05/06
Which proves my point, people would know instantly that you ...
Ocher stage
  05/05/06
instantly for me. i wouldn't be able to keep my dribble for...
Avocado Bipolar Sex Offender
  05/05/06
I'd probably just jack up 3's until they pull me out of the ...
Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus
  05/05/06
But in this hypo you MUST play.
Ocher stage
  05/05/06
Well I'd probably do what I do whenever I play a pickup game...
Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus
  05/05/06
Except that every time you touch the ball you would have a 6...
Ocher stage
  05/05/06
Dribble through his legs AND1 style!
Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus
  05/05/06
In his tirade against players who were complaining too much ...
Avocado Bipolar Sex Offender
  05/05/06
I'd be Steve Nash 2.0. Probably looks for a nice dish most o...
Pale theater stage foreskin
  05/05/06
I'd think you'd be more like tha K.O.B.E.
Amber immigrant dilemma
  05/05/06
I would stand in the middle of the court and do that dribble...
Amber immigrant dilemma
  05/05/06
I'd go for 20 and 10 and then rape a white chick in the hote...
Chocolate Unholy Hunting Ground Center
  05/05/06
i'd set some real good picks and get run the fuck over. then...
Fiercely-loyal Pervert
  05/05/06
lol, this is probably the most likely scenario
Ocher stage
  05/05/06
except I think the game would move too fast for him to set s...
Amber immigrant dilemma
  05/05/06
Watch more NBA basketball. Moving picks are legal. HTFH.
diverse state
  05/05/06
As is traveling.
copper stain
  03/10/07
Yea I bet I would just constantly walk into traps if I had t...
Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus
  05/05/06
i think it's more likely that the guy defending you wouldn't...
aromatic wagecucks internal respiration
  05/05/06
it would be immediately apparent within a few seconds what a...
coiffed public bath
  05/05/06
I dunno, I suppose they wouldn't even bother really guarding...
Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus
  05/05/06
Oh, fer sure once they discovered who you were. I guess I w...
coiffed public bath
  05/05/06
Probably when I ran down the court once and was visibly weez...
Hairraiser Station People Who Are Hurt
  05/05/06
i'd try to fight the other team's best player and get him ej...
Effete silver factory reset button
  05/05/06
GET PWN3D
Indecent newt market
  05/05/06
fascinating. thanks.
Fiercely-loyal Pervert
  05/05/06
Great story. I remember Kenny Smith joking about how peop...
Mildly autistic seedy stead
  05/05/06
AWESOME
galvanic garrison
  03/10/07
Compared to Earl Boykins, I'm an inch shorter and ~25 pounds...
Stirring Brass Cruise Ship
  05/05/06
Twenty-five pounds lighter than Earl? I think they'd also n...
Beady-eyed rigor
  05/05/06
Hahhhhhhhahahahaha
Mildly autistic seedy stead
  05/05/06
I'd run screens until I fouled out.
Provocative Startling Mother Tanning Salon
  05/05/06
If I got the ball, I would just cradle it in my arms, kneel ...
Beady-eyed rigor
  05/05/06
This thread is suprisingly hilarious.
fragrant fortuitous meteor
  05/05/06
i'd mimic Kwame Brown
Mind-boggling Amethyst Hospital
  05/05/06
i probably wouldn't be able to get away from the defender to...
aromatic wagecucks internal respiration
  05/05/06
I have the mass to slam myself into one of the opposite team...
Vigorous Coffee Pot
  05/05/06
it's on. fifty rebounds.
Up-to-no-good Stag Film
  05/05/06
Underrated Gem (Marky Mark in Basketball Diaries)
Arousing space
  12/10/07
i'd call rapscallion, he played played pro basketball in a b...
Mind-boggling Amethyst Hospital
  05/05/06
lol, credited!
Avocado Bipolar Sex Offender
  05/05/06
Realistic scenario: NBA niggers are huge and very fast. T...
Bull headed aphrodisiac rigpig plaza
  05/05/06
I would call a timeout even though we had none and lose the ...
cerise sandwich site
  05/05/06
I played a little one on one against a guy who had played pr...
trip philosopher-king
  05/05/06
...
cordovan abode sound barrier
  05/05/06
I would clothesline Kobe.
glittery bbw
  05/05/06
DO I know you kid? Who are you?
trip philosopher-king
  05/05/06
he musta not been hugged enough as a child or something. yo...
Up-to-no-good Stag Film
  05/05/06
the credited response should be: Take a middle outside sl...
clear lay
  05/05/06
its harder to break someones legs than you think.
glittery bbw
  05/05/06
im 6'3 220. at full speed i could do some damage. I'd just b...
clear lay
  05/05/06
I've been upended landing on my face, neck, back, all sorts ...
glittery bbw
  05/05/06
well i mean i could just theiseman him when he was standing ...
clear lay
  05/05/06
at best, you'd D-wade him.
lime gunner
  04/15/07
i'm not scared of those pussies. i'd walk up to the biggest...
Swashbuckling death wish genital piercing
  05/05/06
Man, even with a hilarious thread above it, this post is pur...
sienna costumed base karate
  05/05/06
lol
Up-to-no-good Stag Film
  05/05/06
LMAO
galvanic garrison
  03/10/07
I run into the stands. If someone tries to force me to play...
odious yapping step-uncle's house
  05/05/06
there are easier ways of not going into the game. for e...
clear lay
  05/05/06
While I agree that NBA players are 1000X better than even go...
Lascivious area selfie
  05/05/06
totally wrong. even fat shawn kemp could pwn all but the bes...
trip philosopher-king
  05/05/06
if you've ever been around professional athletes, and in the...
know-it-all black woman indian lodge
  05/05/06
dream killer
Up-to-no-good Stag Film
  05/05/06
titcr
transparent brunch regret
  05/05/06
This is pretty credited, but NBA players aren't as strong as...
Bull headed aphrodisiac rigpig plaza
  05/05/06
No, they're strong as hell. There's a difference between bru...
excitant well-lubricated box office faggot firefighter
  05/05/06
I'd do just fine.
transparent brunch regret
  05/05/06
...
Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus
  05/05/06
I'm 6'6" and 230, and in college I often played pickup ...
Rebellious Orchestra Pit Friendly Grandma
  05/05/06
Growing up, Spud Webb was a member of the same country club ...
ivory floppy kitchen
  05/05/06
Very interesting. I would probably be exposed in that my sta...
Ocher stage
  05/05/06
that's awesome
Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus
  05/05/06
When i was in like 10th, 11th grade I went to basketball cam...
Apoplectic Spot
  05/05/06
wtf was the speech like? did he rep his album?
vibrant high-end useless brakes
  05/05/06
blat blat
Navy Fanboi Feces
  04/15/07
DAMN you guys are awesome at story telling.
galvanic garrison
  03/10/07
titcr
Canary Wonderful School Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/10/07
The thread that started it all.
impertinent cuckoldry shrine
  03/10/07
didn't puerto rico beat a team full of NBA players?
Cowardly Cerebral Idiot Church Building
  03/10/07
bump
awkward razzle-dazzle stock car locale
  04/15/07
I fucking love this thread. I'm gonna go play ball tomorrow...
Navy Fanboi Feces
  04/15/07
excluding the post below, this thread is TTT
concupiscible pink elastic band headpube
  04/15/07
I really miss that guy
Smoky Set Hairy Legs
  04/15/07
classicbump
Walnut Piazza
  10/12/07
I don't. I score the winning basket.
Judgmental Passionate Casino
  10/12/07
Question: Am I me, or lil' bow wow?
Idiotic theater idea he suggested
  12/10/07
...
marvelous cuck
  04/04/08
...
Plum national
  11/13/08


Poast new message in this thread





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:15 AM
Author: Ocher stage

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718249)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:21 AM
Author: exhilarant mexican hall

I would just throw the ball as hard as I could into the defender's face.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718270)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:22 AM
Author: Ocher stage

You can't get out of the game that easily. How long before it becomes clear to the world you have zero bball skills?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718276)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:27 AM
Author: Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus

Well since I'm about 6' it would probably be immediately obvious.

If I was 7' tall I bet I could look legit for about 3-4 months. I mean shit, look at Rasho Nesterovic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718312)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:27 AM
Author: exhilarant mexican hall

about 2 seconds. anybody on this board who says differently is full of shit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718318)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:29 AM
Author: Ocher stage

Yea, even if you're 7 feet (like DISH says above) you prob would trip all over yourself because of the immense pressure.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718332)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:33 AM
Author: Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus

No way dude, being 7' gives you excuses for being slow, uncordinated and a terrible shooter.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718355)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:35 AM
Author: Ocher stage

Which proves my point, people would know instantly that you have no skill! Still, you could probably bang some groupie that same night post-game (unless nba players don't do this?)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718371)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:28 AM
Author: Avocado Bipolar Sex Offender

instantly for me. i wouldn't be able to keep my dribble for more than a second, i'd never get a shot off, and on defense i wouldn't be able to keep up with anyone, even the fat, slow dudes.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718323)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:21 AM
Author: Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus

I'd probably just jack up 3's until they pull me out of the game.

Honestly, being a bench-warmer in the NBA would be pretty fucking tight, I mean you have to work your ass off and be the bitch in practice, but shit, you still make good money and have little pressure. Of course you might only last a few years, but you could save up some serious cash.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718274)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:22 AM
Author: Ocher stage

But in this hypo you MUST play.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718278)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:25 AM
Author: Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus

Well I'd probably do what I do whenever I play a pickup game with non-asians -> pass the ball as soon as I get it and then camp near the basket and go for rebounds

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718297)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:26 AM
Author: Ocher stage

Except that every time you touch the ball you would have a 6'8 fucker standing over you waiting for your weak pass! What do you do now?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718308)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:28 AM
Author: Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus

Dribble through his legs AND1 style!



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718322)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:22 AM
Author: Avocado Bipolar Sex Offender

In his tirade against players who were complaining too much about bad foul calls, David Stern said the average salary was 5 million in the NBA. Unlike those loser-baseball-fucks, they actually deserve it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718279)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:26 AM
Author: Pale theater stage foreskin

I'd be Steve Nash 2.0. Probably looks for a nice dish most of the time and take a jumper if there isn't an open teammate.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718307)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:27 AM
Author: Amber immigrant dilemma

I'd think you'd be more like tha K.O.B.E.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718314)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:26 AM
Author: Amber immigrant dilemma

I would stand in the middle of the court and do that dribble between the legs drill until we got a shot clock violation.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718309)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:28 AM
Author: Chocolate Unholy Hunting Ground Center

I'd go for 20 and 10 and then rape a white chick in the hotel.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718326)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:31 AM
Author: Fiercely-loyal Pervert

i'd set some real good picks and get run the fuck over. then id get trapped in the corner and turn the ball over.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718342)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:32 AM
Author: Ocher stage

lol, this is probably the most likely scenario

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718350)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:35 AM
Author: Amber immigrant dilemma

except I think the game would move too fast for him to set some "real good picks". He'd probably be called for a moving pick.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718367)





Date: May 5th, 2006 7:02 AM
Author: diverse state

Watch more NBA basketball. Moving picks are legal. HTFH.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718617)





Date: March 10th, 2007 3:03 AM
Author: copper stain

As is traveling.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7732856)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:35 AM
Author: Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus

Yea I bet I would just constantly walk into traps if I had the ball.

I bet no one on this board could even successfully bring the ball up court themselves

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718373)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:25 PM
Author: aromatic wagecucks internal respiration

i think it's more likely that the guy defending you wouldn't need to set a trap to take the ball away.

i'll be this goes for everyone here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719830)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:39 AM
Author: coiffed public bath

it would be immediately apparent within a few seconds what a disgusting horrible weak link I was. I've played with a number of NBA caliber players, and, at that level guys that were four or five inches taller than me (and I'm 6'3") were the kind of fast the average high school team only sees out of its 5'2" scrappy little bastard that is only there because he moves so quick.

Anyone under 6'10" or so would be exposed instantly on defense where they wouldn't stand a shot of keeping up with their man and on offense when they would fail to even gain enough separation to receive a pass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718395)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:50 AM
Author: Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus

I dunno, I suppose they wouldn't even bother really guarding you and would WANT you to get a pass b/c you'd turn the ball over almost immediately.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718439)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:52 AM
Author: coiffed public bath

Oh, fer sure once they discovered who you were. I guess I was getting ahead of myself and just pointing out that you couldn't even hide yourself, so to speak, in the situations where most xoxo'ers might assume they could squeak by for a minute or two: without the ball and without directly guarding the ball/being posted up.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718444)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:49 AM
Author: Hairraiser Station People Who Are Hurt

Probably when I ran down the court once and was visibly weezing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718435)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:51 AM
Author: Effete silver factory reset button

i'd try to fight the other team's best player and get him ejected

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718443)





Date: May 5th, 2006 5:30 AM
Author: Indecent newt market
Subject: GET PWN3D

I play basketball (well) on a regular basis, so part of me wants to say that I would hold my own for a few minutes... but the truth is that any of us would be iso'ed and PWN3D immediately. I once played 1-on-1 with a benchwarmer NBA player. I could do NOTHING to stop his shooting, and he hit just about everything, from distance. My defense was NOTHING to him. And I was trying very hard. Once in a while he decided to drive, and that was at will, and he PWN3D my ass.

Then I played 2-on-2 with Drexler. That was a trip. First off, the guy kicked the shit out of my friend and I , playing with his young DAUGHTER. The gliding was ridiculous. He would just jump and wait in the air for a few seconds until you were long gone, then lay it up. Crazy fuck. At one point he just showed me the ball. Just held it right in front of my face. I slapped at it. It didn't move an inch. So I just wound up and punched the shit out of it as hard as I could. IT DIDN'T MOVE. AT ALL. My shoulder was fucked up for a few days. Drexler laughed his ass off and then PWN3D me like no one ever has.

The moral of the story is that NBA players are really fucking good. Anyone on this board would get absolutely fucked. PERIOD.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718594)





Date: May 5th, 2006 8:33 AM
Author: Fiercely-loyal Pervert

fascinating. thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718723)





Date: May 5th, 2006 9:52 AM
Author: Mildly autistic seedy stead

Great story.

I remember Kenny Smith joking about how people think they could make it in the L because they were beter than Steve Kerr--he was like, "Kerr would give you fifty."

I didn't believe this until I saw a bench backup center for a few years in phoenix (saw maybe thirty minutes a season on average) playing a tournament in Dallas for charity and when he was hard fouled and got angry, dropped something ridiculous--like 14 for 16 on the opposing team and they were double and triple teaming him.

The talent level at that stage is so high it's ridiculous.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719043)





Date: March 10th, 2007 10:06 PM
Author: galvanic garrison

AWESOME

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7735875)





Date: May 5th, 2006 6:05 AM
Author: Stirring Brass Cruise Ship

Compared to Earl Boykins, I'm an inch shorter and ~25 pounds lighter. Either they wouldn't acknowledge my existence, or I would instantly get blown into the next week.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718604)





Date: May 5th, 2006 8:40 AM
Author: Beady-eyed rigor

Twenty-five pounds lighter than Earl? I think they'd also notice that you were a girl.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718746)





Date: May 5th, 2006 9:53 AM
Author: Mildly autistic seedy stead

Hahhhhhhhahahahaha

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719045)





Date: May 5th, 2006 8:36 AM
Author: Provocative Startling Mother Tanning Salon

I'd run screens until I fouled out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718735)





Date: May 5th, 2006 8:41 AM
Author: Beady-eyed rigor

If I got the ball, I would just cradle it in my arms, kneel on the ground and call a time-out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718753)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:13 PM
Author: fragrant fortuitous meteor

This thread is suprisingly hilarious.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719773)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:14 PM
Author: Mind-boggling Amethyst Hospital

i'd mimic Kwame Brown

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719778)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:30 PM
Author: aromatic wagecucks internal respiration

i probably wouldn't be able to get away from the defender to get a pass.

if i somehow got the ball, my defender would take it away from me almost instantly.

on defense, i would be either run over or faked out.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719859)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:35 PM
Author: Vigorous Coffee Pot

I have the mass to slam myself into one of the opposite team's guards or small forwards, flagrant-foul them, scream at the ref until he gives me a technical, get myself ejected, and that would be that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719892)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:40 PM
Author: Up-to-no-good Stag Film

it's on. fifty rebounds.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719912)





Date: December 10th, 2007 6:18 PM
Author: Arousing space

Underrated Gem

(Marky Mark in Basketball Diaries)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#9007464)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:44 PM
Author: Mind-boggling Amethyst Hospital

i'd call rapscallion, he played played pro basketball in a bathhouse

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719927)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:05 PM
Author: Avocado Bipolar Sex Offender

lol, credited!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720530)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:43 PM
Author: Bull headed aphrodisiac rigpig plaza

Realistic scenario:

NBA niggers are huge and very fast. The probability of them quickly stealing a dribble from me or anyone else here is exactly 100%. On defense, we would be totally exposed.

That said, on offense, I doubt anyone would bother to guard me since they'd get more benefit from double teaming someone else. I still wouldn't be able to take any shots down low since I'm sure the other players are quick enough to swat me from the weak side.

I could knock down wide open mid-range and outside shots easily, although I'd probably only shoot 20-40% due to all the pressure. If guarded, I doubt I could get a shot to the rim.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720362)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:47 PM
Author: cerise sandwich site

I would call a timeout even though we had none and lose the national championship.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720397)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:57 PM
Author: trip philosopher-king

I played a little one on one against a guy who had played pro ball in Europe. When he decided to play defense I couldn't take 2 consecutive dribbles without losing the ball.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720473)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:59 PM
Author: cordovan abode sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720489)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:59 PM
Author: glittery bbw

I would clothesline Kobe.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720491)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:07 PM
Author: trip philosopher-king

DO I know you kid? Who are you?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720539)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:33 PM
Author: Up-to-no-good Stag Film

he musta not been hugged enough as a child or something. you look at him and he gets all insecure.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721220)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:09 PM
Author: clear lay

the credited response should be:

Take a middle outside slot on a 1-3-1 zone. Wait for Kobe to drive the lane and go up for a dunk. Run at him full speed and duck, taking out his legs and ending his career.

Go down in history as most loved and hated scrub of all time

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720555)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:12 PM
Author: glittery bbw

its harder to break someones legs than you think.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720579)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:16 PM
Author: clear lay

im 6'3 220. at full speed i could do some damage. I'd just bank on him landing on his neck honestly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720603)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:27 PM
Author: glittery bbw

I've been upended landing on my face, neck, back, all sorts of shit.

its easy to get hurt, but its hard to cause someone a career ending injury without assaulting them well beyond what you would expact in a game (i.e hitting them with a sledgehammer).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720694)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:44 PM
Author: clear lay

well i mean i could just theiseman him when he was standing in the paint waiting for a board or something. ill say i tripped or got shoved from behind

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720827)





Date: April 15th, 2007 5:15 AM
Author: lime gunner

at best, you'd D-wade him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934706)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:17 PM
Author: Swashbuckling death wish genital piercing

i'm not scared of those pussies. i'd walk up to the biggest nigger on the other team and punch him in the face as hard as i could. it would start a team brawl, and in the chaos i could slip away and rape 3, maybe 4 cheerleaders before anyone was the wiser. cuz that's how i roll.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720613)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:04 PM
Author: sienna costumed base karate

Man, even with a hilarious thread above it, this post is pure gold.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720996)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:34 PM
Author: Up-to-no-good Stag Film

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721230)





Date: March 10th, 2007 10:09 PM
Author: galvanic garrison

LMAO

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7735889)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:35 PM
Author: odious yapping step-uncle's house

I run into the stands. If someone tries to force me to play, I threated to sue.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721231)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:43 PM
Author: clear lay

there are easier ways of not going into the game.

for example when pat riley looks down the bench and calls your name as you jog past him to the scorers table just go "yo pat, your wifes a dirty cunt" you'll be on waivers before you can say habanera

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721294)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:56 PM
Author: Lascivious area selfie

While I agree that NBA players are 1000X better than even good basketball players, but the notion that you have to have super human strength to avoid being exposed as a fraud is absurd. Over the years, there have been plenty of older payers with shot-up knees, or overweight players who could hardly jump and get up the court who were still able to play in the league. They weren’t very good, but they remained in the league.

A guy in good shape with decent size (who knows how to play basketball) can run up on down the court and play back-off defense (give the guy the parameter shot) for a while before being exposed, as long as he doesn’t try anything on offense.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721387)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:01 PM
Author: trip philosopher-king

totally wrong. even fat shawn kemp could pwn all but the best players.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721428)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:33 PM
Author: know-it-all black woman indian lodge

if you've ever been around professional athletes, and in their athletic setting, you would know that the difference is immediately conspicuous. maybe you could blend in as a right-fielder for a while -- but only until any ball that required mobility exposed you. the pace of basketball is so much faster, even with pretty good high school players, that even guys who play a lot of pick-up games, reliably say "nice look," and think they do a credible imitation of a point guard would be a massive liability among real players. the basic flow of an NBA game is comparable to running into an NFL line, facing a major league pitcher, or attempting to just blend in on an NHL line shift. they are so much faster, bigger, stronger, more skilled, and more experienced that you not only couldn't keep up, but most people would get physically pummeled. the idea that something like taking a jump shot or playing "back-off defense" would be anything like what you're accoustomed to is absurd -- unless of course you are either unusually big, skilled, or both.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721665)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:47 PM
Author: Up-to-no-good Stag Film

dream killer

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721789)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:47 PM
Author: transparent brunch regret

titcr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721790)





Date: May 5th, 2006 5:18 PM
Author: Bull headed aphrodisiac rigpig plaza

This is pretty credited, but NBA players aren't as strong as you make them out to be. I remember the announcers making a huge deal about Kevin Willis benching 420, and he was a total fucking beast. I doubt the guards are really any stronger than the average man who is in pretty good shape. The real gap is in speed and reflexes. They would pwn us with their lightning hands and there isn't anything we could do about it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5722053)





Date: May 5th, 2006 5:40 PM
Author: excitant well-lubricated box office faggot firefighter

No, they're strong as hell. There's a difference between brute weightlifting strength and being able to overpower your opponent using strength, agility, and leverage. Basketball players have more of the latter, because the game doesn't really lend itself to huge muscle mass (you have to be very quick, and more muscle adds more weight, which ostensibly slows you down). In other words, NBA players are stronger than all of us, because basketball play doesn't rely as heavily on muscle as it relies on other intangibles. Football is different, because brute strength is actually required for some positions, and more pure muscle strength and mass is much more important than it is in basketball.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5722198)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:28 PM
Author: transparent brunch regret

I'd do just fine.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721619)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:49 PM
Author: Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721814)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:44 PM
Author: Rebellious Orchestra Pit Friendly Grandma

I'm 6'6" and 230, and in college I often played pickup with some of our varsity starters, including one guy who got drafted by the Cavs. I could hold my own, especially on defense.

That was all a lie, within 8 seconds of game time their worst player would be picking goo from between his sneaker treads that used to be my tubby ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721764)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:47 PM
Author: ivory floppy kitchen

Growing up, Spud Webb was a member of the same country club my family was. He lived out on the golf course, and had a pretty nice outdoor basketball court. He would always host parties in the summer time and various NBA players would come... One year, for whatever reason the guys who won the Dallas Hoop-it-Up tourney were at his house... they played against Spudd and NBA no names. It wasn't even close... Spud's team DESTROYED these three dudes. It was ugly.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721787)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:50 PM
Author: Ocher stage

Very interesting. I would probably be exposed in that my stamina will last less time than the shot clock.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721824)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:50 PM
Author: Fluffy Haunted Graveyard Locus

that's awesome

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721828)





Date: May 5th, 2006 6:33 PM
Author: Apoplectic Spot

When i was in like 10th, 11th grade I went to basketball camp, the ages of the camp were like 5th to 11th grade. So one day the guy who runs the camp tell us he has a special guest, and the special guest happens to be Ron Artest. This is while he is at St. Johns and not really known as crazy yet. After a boring 15-20 minute speech from Arest, the guy who runs the camp tells us that Artest has agreed to play the entire camp 1 on 1. He gets the ball first and first one to score wins.

Artest doesn't take it easy on anyone, even against like the 5-th graders he is taking it in and dunking it and yelling as he does it. Finally as Artest starts to mix in more jumpers he misses one and a camper finally gets the ball. The kid tries to shoot an immediate 3 and gets rejected. I was about the 50th or so person to go. I played the "lay off" defense you guys were talking about hoping to get him to shoot a jumper. He pulls up, shoots right inside the (college) 3pt line and misses and I get the ball. My only real move is a hard drive to the left, so i drive it hard to the left and maybe i deluded myself into thinking i had a step, but I pull a ball fake and he jumps in the air, and as i go to shoot it he recovers and blocks the ball almost to like halfcourt. He ends up recovering the ball and dunking it on me.

He played the entire camp, which was at least 100 kids, and didn't lose to anyone. The whole thing took hours.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5722548)





Date: May 5th, 2006 6:58 PM
Author: vibrant high-end useless brakes

wtf was the speech like? did he rep his album?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5722697)





Date: April 15th, 2007 5:21 AM
Author: Navy Fanboi Feces

blat blat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934711)





Date: March 10th, 2007 10:14 PM
Author: galvanic garrison

DAMN you guys are awesome at story telling.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7735921)





Date: December 10th, 2007 6:10 PM
Author: Canary Wonderful School Mad-dog Skullcap

titcr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#9007442)





Date: March 10th, 2007 1:57 AM
Author: impertinent cuckoldry shrine

The thread that started it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7732636)





Date: March 10th, 2007 3:06 AM
Author: Cowardly Cerebral Idiot Church Building

didn't puerto rico beat a team full of NBA players?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7732869)





Date: April 15th, 2007 4:51 AM
Author: awkward razzle-dazzle stock car locale

bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934678)





Date: April 15th, 2007 4:56 AM
Author: Navy Fanboi Feces

I fucking love this thread.

I'm gonna go play ball tomorrow just to remind myself how bad I am.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934683)





Date: April 15th, 2007 5:16 AM
Author: concupiscible pink elastic band headpube
Subject: excluding the post below, this thread is TTT

Date: May 5th, 2006 2:17 PM

Author: Red Means Go (I'm Red Means Go and I approve of this post)

i'm not scared of those pussies. i'd walk up to the biggest nigger on the other team and punch him in the face as hard as i could. it would start a team brawl, and in the chaos i could slip away and rape 3, maybe 4 cheerleaders before anyone was the wiser. cuz that's how i roll.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720613)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934708)





Date: April 15th, 2007 5:23 AM
Author: Smoky Set Hairy Legs

I really miss that guy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934713)





Date: October 12th, 2007 7:19 PM
Author: Walnut Piazza

classicbump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#8760506)





Date: October 12th, 2007 7:20 PM
Author: Judgmental Passionate Casino

I don't. I score the winning basket.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#8760509)





Date: December 10th, 2007 6:19 PM
Author: Idiotic theater idea he suggested

Question: Am I me, or lil' bow wow?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#9007471)





Date: April 4th, 2008 1:36 PM
Author: marvelous cuck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#9577598)





Date: November 13th, 2008 7:02 PM
Author: Plum national



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#10358743)