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BAM! you're thrown into an NBA game. How bad do you fuck things?

?
ivory cuckoldry macaca
  05/05/06
I would just throw the ball as hard as I could into the defe...
diverse emerald french chef
  05/05/06
You can't get out of the game that easily. How long before i...
ivory cuckoldry macaca
  05/05/06
Well since I'm about 6' it would probably be immediately obv...
alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe
  05/05/06
about 2 seconds. anybody on this board who says differently...
diverse emerald french chef
  05/05/06
Yea, even if you're 7 feet (like DISH says above) you prob w...
ivory cuckoldry macaca
  05/05/06
No way dude, being 7' gives you excuses for being slow, unco...
alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe
  05/05/06
Which proves my point, people would know instantly that you ...
ivory cuckoldry macaca
  05/05/06
instantly for me. i wouldn't be able to keep my dribble for...
Vibrant faggot firefighter
  05/05/06
I'd probably just jack up 3's until they pull me out of the ...
alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe
  05/05/06
But in this hypo you MUST play.
ivory cuckoldry macaca
  05/05/06
Well I'd probably do what I do whenever I play a pickup game...
alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe
  05/05/06
Except that every time you touch the ball you would have a 6...
ivory cuckoldry macaca
  05/05/06
Dribble through his legs AND1 style!
alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe
  05/05/06
In his tirade against players who were complaining too much ...
Vibrant faggot firefighter
  05/05/06
I'd be Steve Nash 2.0. Probably looks for a nice dish most o...
Contagious office jew
  05/05/06
I'd think you'd be more like tha K.O.B.E.
Out-of-control chad
  05/05/06
I would stand in the middle of the court and do that dribble...
Out-of-control chad
  05/05/06
I'd go for 20 and 10 and then rape a white chick in the hote...
Garnet disgusting ratface
  05/05/06
i'd set some real good picks and get run the fuck over. then...
thriller filthy laser beams hissy fit
  05/05/06
lol, this is probably the most likely scenario
ivory cuckoldry macaca
  05/05/06
except I think the game would move too fast for him to set s...
Out-of-control chad
  05/05/06
Watch more NBA basketball. Moving picks are legal. HTFH.
greedy dilemma
  05/05/06
As is traveling.
Mind-boggling juggernaut
  03/10/07
Yea I bet I would just constantly walk into traps if I had t...
alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe
  05/05/06
i think it's more likely that the guy defending you wouldn't...
at-the-ready stimulating theater
  05/05/06
it would be immediately apparent within a few seconds what a...
180 umber trailer park immigrant
  05/05/06
I dunno, I suppose they wouldn't even bother really guarding...
alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe
  05/05/06
Oh, fer sure once they discovered who you were. I guess I w...
180 umber trailer park immigrant
  05/05/06
Probably when I ran down the court once and was visibly weez...
motley flirting space coldplay fan
  05/05/06
i'd try to fight the other team's best player and get him ej...
curious school
  05/05/06
GET PWN3D
Aphrodisiac bistre whorehouse
  05/05/06
fascinating. thanks.
thriller filthy laser beams hissy fit
  05/05/06
Great story. I remember Kenny Smith joking about how peop...
peach shrine multi-billionaire
  05/05/06
AWESOME
charcoal house-broken sandwich degenerate
  03/10/07
Compared to Earl Boykins, I'm an inch shorter and ~25 pounds...
blue hateful doctorate
  05/05/06
Twenty-five pounds lighter than Earl? I think they'd also n...
magenta excitant business firm
  05/05/06
Hahhhhhhhahahahaha
peach shrine multi-billionaire
  05/05/06
I'd run screens until I fouled out.
Chestnut Odious Corner Prole
  05/05/06
If I got the ball, I would just cradle it in my arms, kneel ...
magenta excitant business firm
  05/05/06
This thread is suprisingly hilarious.
Maize roast beef station
  05/05/06
i'd mimic Kwame Brown
floppy fat ankles spot
  05/05/06
i probably wouldn't be able to get away from the defender to...
at-the-ready stimulating theater
  05/05/06
I have the mass to slam myself into one of the opposite team...
Galvanic Resort Boiling Water
  05/05/06
it's on. fifty rebounds.
Exhilarant Nighttime Piazza Bbw
  05/05/06
Underrated Gem (Marky Mark in Basketball Diaries)
Duck-like heaven boistinker
  12/10/07
i'd call rapscallion, he played played pro basketball in a b...
floppy fat ankles spot
  05/05/06
lol, credited!
Vibrant faggot firefighter
  05/05/06
Realistic scenario: NBA niggers are huge and very fast. T...
titillating public bath
  05/05/06
I would call a timeout even though we had none and lose the ...
Glittery preventive strike
  05/05/06
I played a little one on one against a guy who had played pr...
Gold stead
  05/05/06
...
passionate rose legend water buffalo
  05/05/06
I would clothesline Kobe.
Heady puce stage newt
  05/05/06
DO I know you kid? Who are you?
Gold stead
  05/05/06
he musta not been hugged enough as a child or something. yo...
Exhilarant Nighttime Piazza Bbw
  05/05/06
the credited response should be: Take a middle outside sl...
Supple Jade Hell
  05/05/06
its harder to break someones legs than you think.
Heady puce stage newt
  05/05/06
im 6'3 220. at full speed i could do some damage. I'd just b...
Supple Jade Hell
  05/05/06
I've been upended landing on my face, neck, back, all sorts ...
Heady puce stage newt
  05/05/06
well i mean i could just theiseman him when he was standing ...
Supple Jade Hell
  05/05/06
at best, you'd D-wade him.
mahogany locus ceo
  04/15/07
i'm not scared of those pussies. i'd walk up to the biggest...
sooty psychic
  05/05/06
Man, even with a hilarious thread above it, this post is pur...
ultramarine domesticated jap
  05/05/06
lol
Exhilarant Nighttime Piazza Bbw
  05/05/06
LMAO
charcoal house-broken sandwich degenerate
  03/10/07
I run into the stands. If someone tries to force me to play...
Navy private investor
  05/05/06
there are easier ways of not going into the game. for e...
Supple Jade Hell
  05/05/06
While I agree that NBA players are 1000X better than even go...
cerebral principal's office idea he suggested
  05/05/06
totally wrong. even fat shawn kemp could pwn all but the bes...
Gold stead
  05/05/06
if you've ever been around professional athletes, and in the...
Indigo fanboi
  05/05/06
dream killer
Exhilarant Nighttime Piazza Bbw
  05/05/06
titcr
sable old irish cottage
  05/05/06
This is pretty credited, but NBA players aren't as strong as...
titillating public bath
  05/05/06
No, they're strong as hell. There's a difference between bru...
splenetic range gunner
  05/05/06
I'd do just fine.
sable old irish cottage
  05/05/06
...
alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe
  05/05/06
I'm 6'6" and 230, and in college I often played pickup ...
Milky home ape
  05/05/06
Growing up, Spud Webb was a member of the same country club ...
insecure crimson police squad
  05/05/06
Very interesting. I would probably be exposed in that my sta...
ivory cuckoldry macaca
  05/05/06
that's awesome
alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe
  05/05/06
When i was in like 10th, 11th grade I went to basketball cam...
low-t metal mood useless brakes
  05/05/06
wtf was the speech like? did he rep his album?
poppy nursing home jewess
  05/05/06
blat blat
Rambunctious Mother Step-uncle's House
  04/15/07
DAMN you guys are awesome at story telling.
charcoal house-broken sandwich degenerate
  03/10/07
titcr
racy federal becky parlour
  12/10/07
The thread that started it all.
Frozen Orchid Den
  03/10/07
didn't puerto rico beat a team full of NBA players?
Vivacious french point persian
  03/10/07
bump
Dashing Buff Native Keepsake Machete
  04/15/07
I fucking love this thread. I'm gonna go play ball tomorrow...
Rambunctious Mother Step-uncle's House
  04/15/07
excluding the post below, this thread is TTT
deep institution famous landscape painting
  04/15/07
I really miss that guy
seedy jet-lagged site coffee pot
  04/15/07
classicbump
slate provocative field fortuitous meteor
  10/12/07
I don't. I score the winning basket.
sickened ticket booth nibblets
  10/12/07
Question: Am I me, or lil' bow wow?
bonkers violet university
  12/10/07
...
Appetizing bright toilet seat
  04/04/08
...
Thirsty Orchestra Pit
  11/13/08


Poast new message in this thread





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:15 AM
Author: ivory cuckoldry macaca

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718249)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:21 AM
Author: diverse emerald french chef

I would just throw the ball as hard as I could into the defender's face.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718270)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:22 AM
Author: ivory cuckoldry macaca

You can't get out of the game that easily. How long before it becomes clear to the world you have zero bball skills?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718276)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:27 AM
Author: alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe

Well since I'm about 6' it would probably be immediately obvious.

If I was 7' tall I bet I could look legit for about 3-4 months. I mean shit, look at Rasho Nesterovic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718312)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:27 AM
Author: diverse emerald french chef

about 2 seconds. anybody on this board who says differently is full of shit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718318)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:29 AM
Author: ivory cuckoldry macaca

Yea, even if you're 7 feet (like DISH says above) you prob would trip all over yourself because of the immense pressure.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718332)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:33 AM
Author: alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe

No way dude, being 7' gives you excuses for being slow, uncordinated and a terrible shooter.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718355)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:35 AM
Author: ivory cuckoldry macaca

Which proves my point, people would know instantly that you have no skill! Still, you could probably bang some groupie that same night post-game (unless nba players don't do this?)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718371)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:28 AM
Author: Vibrant faggot firefighter

instantly for me. i wouldn't be able to keep my dribble for more than a second, i'd never get a shot off, and on defense i wouldn't be able to keep up with anyone, even the fat, slow dudes.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718323)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:21 AM
Author: alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe

I'd probably just jack up 3's until they pull me out of the game.

Honestly, being a bench-warmer in the NBA would be pretty fucking tight, I mean you have to work your ass off and be the bitch in practice, but shit, you still make good money and have little pressure. Of course you might only last a few years, but you could save up some serious cash.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718274)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:22 AM
Author: ivory cuckoldry macaca

But in this hypo you MUST play.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718278)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:25 AM
Author: alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe

Well I'd probably do what I do whenever I play a pickup game with non-asians -> pass the ball as soon as I get it and then camp near the basket and go for rebounds

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718297)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:26 AM
Author: ivory cuckoldry macaca

Except that every time you touch the ball you would have a 6'8 fucker standing over you waiting for your weak pass! What do you do now?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718308)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:28 AM
Author: alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe

Dribble through his legs AND1 style!



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718322)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:22 AM
Author: Vibrant faggot firefighter

In his tirade against players who were complaining too much about bad foul calls, David Stern said the average salary was 5 million in the NBA. Unlike those loser-baseball-fucks, they actually deserve it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718279)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:26 AM
Author: Contagious office jew

I'd be Steve Nash 2.0. Probably looks for a nice dish most of the time and take a jumper if there isn't an open teammate.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718307)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:27 AM
Author: Out-of-control chad

I'd think you'd be more like tha K.O.B.E.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718314)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:26 AM
Author: Out-of-control chad

I would stand in the middle of the court and do that dribble between the legs drill until we got a shot clock violation.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718309)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:28 AM
Author: Garnet disgusting ratface

I'd go for 20 and 10 and then rape a white chick in the hotel.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718326)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:31 AM
Author: thriller filthy laser beams hissy fit

i'd set some real good picks and get run the fuck over. then id get trapped in the corner and turn the ball over.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718342)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:32 AM
Author: ivory cuckoldry macaca

lol, this is probably the most likely scenario

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718350)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:35 AM
Author: Out-of-control chad

except I think the game would move too fast for him to set some "real good picks". He'd probably be called for a moving pick.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718367)





Date: May 5th, 2006 7:02 AM
Author: greedy dilemma

Watch more NBA basketball. Moving picks are legal. HTFH.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718617)





Date: March 10th, 2007 3:03 AM
Author: Mind-boggling juggernaut

As is traveling.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7732856)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:35 AM
Author: alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe

Yea I bet I would just constantly walk into traps if I had the ball.

I bet no one on this board could even successfully bring the ball up court themselves

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718373)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:25 PM
Author: at-the-ready stimulating theater

i think it's more likely that the guy defending you wouldn't need to set a trap to take the ball away.

i'll be this goes for everyone here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719830)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:39 AM
Author: 180 umber trailer park immigrant

it would be immediately apparent within a few seconds what a disgusting horrible weak link I was. I've played with a number of NBA caliber players, and, at that level guys that were four or five inches taller than me (and I'm 6'3") were the kind of fast the average high school team only sees out of its 5'2" scrappy little bastard that is only there because he moves so quick.

Anyone under 6'10" or so would be exposed instantly on defense where they wouldn't stand a shot of keeping up with their man and on offense when they would fail to even gain enough separation to receive a pass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718395)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:50 AM
Author: alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe

I dunno, I suppose they wouldn't even bother really guarding you and would WANT you to get a pass b/c you'd turn the ball over almost immediately.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718439)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:52 AM
Author: 180 umber trailer park immigrant

Oh, fer sure once they discovered who you were. I guess I was getting ahead of myself and just pointing out that you couldn't even hide yourself, so to speak, in the situations where most xoxo'ers might assume they could squeak by for a minute or two: without the ball and without directly guarding the ball/being posted up.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718444)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:49 AM
Author: motley flirting space coldplay fan

Probably when I ran down the court once and was visibly weezing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718435)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:51 AM
Author: curious school

i'd try to fight the other team's best player and get him ejected

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718443)





Date: May 5th, 2006 5:30 AM
Author: Aphrodisiac bistre whorehouse
Subject: GET PWN3D

I play basketball (well) on a regular basis, so part of me wants to say that I would hold my own for a few minutes... but the truth is that any of us would be iso'ed and PWN3D immediately. I once played 1-on-1 with a benchwarmer NBA player. I could do NOTHING to stop his shooting, and he hit just about everything, from distance. My defense was NOTHING to him. And I was trying very hard. Once in a while he decided to drive, and that was at will, and he PWN3D my ass.

Then I played 2-on-2 with Drexler. That was a trip. First off, the guy kicked the shit out of my friend and I , playing with his young DAUGHTER. The gliding was ridiculous. He would just jump and wait in the air for a few seconds until you were long gone, then lay it up. Crazy fuck. At one point he just showed me the ball. Just held it right in front of my face. I slapped at it. It didn't move an inch. So I just wound up and punched the shit out of it as hard as I could. IT DIDN'T MOVE. AT ALL. My shoulder was fucked up for a few days. Drexler laughed his ass off and then PWN3D me like no one ever has.

The moral of the story is that NBA players are really fucking good. Anyone on this board would get absolutely fucked. PERIOD.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718594)





Date: May 5th, 2006 8:33 AM
Author: thriller filthy laser beams hissy fit

fascinating. thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718723)





Date: May 5th, 2006 9:52 AM
Author: peach shrine multi-billionaire

Great story.

I remember Kenny Smith joking about how people think they could make it in the L because they were beter than Steve Kerr--he was like, "Kerr would give you fifty."

I didn't believe this until I saw a bench backup center for a few years in phoenix (saw maybe thirty minutes a season on average) playing a tournament in Dallas for charity and when he was hard fouled and got angry, dropped something ridiculous--like 14 for 16 on the opposing team and they were double and triple teaming him.

The talent level at that stage is so high it's ridiculous.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719043)





Date: March 10th, 2007 10:06 PM
Author: charcoal house-broken sandwich degenerate

AWESOME

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7735875)





Date: May 5th, 2006 6:05 AM
Author: blue hateful doctorate

Compared to Earl Boykins, I'm an inch shorter and ~25 pounds lighter. Either they wouldn't acknowledge my existence, or I would instantly get blown into the next week.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718604)





Date: May 5th, 2006 8:40 AM
Author: magenta excitant business firm

Twenty-five pounds lighter than Earl? I think they'd also notice that you were a girl.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718746)





Date: May 5th, 2006 9:53 AM
Author: peach shrine multi-billionaire

Hahhhhhhhahahahaha

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719045)





Date: May 5th, 2006 8:36 AM
Author: Chestnut Odious Corner Prole

I'd run screens until I fouled out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718735)





Date: May 5th, 2006 8:41 AM
Author: magenta excitant business firm

If I got the ball, I would just cradle it in my arms, kneel on the ground and call a time-out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5718753)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:13 PM
Author: Maize roast beef station

This thread is suprisingly hilarious.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719773)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:14 PM
Author: floppy fat ankles spot

i'd mimic Kwame Brown

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719778)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:30 PM
Author: at-the-ready stimulating theater

i probably wouldn't be able to get away from the defender to get a pass.

if i somehow got the ball, my defender would take it away from me almost instantly.

on defense, i would be either run over or faked out.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719859)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:35 PM
Author: Galvanic Resort Boiling Water

I have the mass to slam myself into one of the opposite team's guards or small forwards, flagrant-foul them, scream at the ref until he gives me a technical, get myself ejected, and that would be that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719892)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:40 PM
Author: Exhilarant Nighttime Piazza Bbw

it's on. fifty rebounds.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719912)





Date: December 10th, 2007 6:18 PM
Author: Duck-like heaven boistinker

Underrated Gem

(Marky Mark in Basketball Diaries)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#9007464)





Date: May 5th, 2006 12:44 PM
Author: floppy fat ankles spot

i'd call rapscallion, he played played pro basketball in a bathhouse

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5719927)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:05 PM
Author: Vibrant faggot firefighter

lol, credited!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720530)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:43 PM
Author: titillating public bath

Realistic scenario:

NBA niggers are huge and very fast. The probability of them quickly stealing a dribble from me or anyone else here is exactly 100%. On defense, we would be totally exposed.

That said, on offense, I doubt anyone would bother to guard me since they'd get more benefit from double teaming someone else. I still wouldn't be able to take any shots down low since I'm sure the other players are quick enough to swat me from the weak side.

I could knock down wide open mid-range and outside shots easily, although I'd probably only shoot 20-40% due to all the pressure. If guarded, I doubt I could get a shot to the rim.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720362)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:47 PM
Author: Glittery preventive strike

I would call a timeout even though we had none and lose the national championship.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720397)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:57 PM
Author: Gold stead

I played a little one on one against a guy who had played pro ball in Europe. When he decided to play defense I couldn't take 2 consecutive dribbles without losing the ball.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720473)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:59 PM
Author: passionate rose legend water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720489)





Date: May 5th, 2006 1:59 PM
Author: Heady puce stage newt

I would clothesline Kobe.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720491)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:07 PM
Author: Gold stead

DO I know you kid? Who are you?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720539)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:33 PM
Author: Exhilarant Nighttime Piazza Bbw

he musta not been hugged enough as a child or something. you look at him and he gets all insecure.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721220)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:09 PM
Author: Supple Jade Hell

the credited response should be:

Take a middle outside slot on a 1-3-1 zone. Wait for Kobe to drive the lane and go up for a dunk. Run at him full speed and duck, taking out his legs and ending his career.

Go down in history as most loved and hated scrub of all time

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720555)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:12 PM
Author: Heady puce stage newt

its harder to break someones legs than you think.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720579)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:16 PM
Author: Supple Jade Hell

im 6'3 220. at full speed i could do some damage. I'd just bank on him landing on his neck honestly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720603)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:27 PM
Author: Heady puce stage newt

I've been upended landing on my face, neck, back, all sorts of shit.

its easy to get hurt, but its hard to cause someone a career ending injury without assaulting them well beyond what you would expact in a game (i.e hitting them with a sledgehammer).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720694)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:44 PM
Author: Supple Jade Hell

well i mean i could just theiseman him when he was standing in the paint waiting for a board or something. ill say i tripped or got shoved from behind

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720827)





Date: April 15th, 2007 5:15 AM
Author: mahogany locus ceo

at best, you'd D-wade him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934706)





Date: May 5th, 2006 2:17 PM
Author: sooty psychic

i'm not scared of those pussies. i'd walk up to the biggest nigger on the other team and punch him in the face as hard as i could. it would start a team brawl, and in the chaos i could slip away and rape 3, maybe 4 cheerleaders before anyone was the wiser. cuz that's how i roll.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720613)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:04 PM
Author: ultramarine domesticated jap

Man, even with a hilarious thread above it, this post is pure gold.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720996)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:34 PM
Author: Exhilarant Nighttime Piazza Bbw

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721230)





Date: March 10th, 2007 10:09 PM
Author: charcoal house-broken sandwich degenerate

LMAO

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7735889)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:35 PM
Author: Navy private investor

I run into the stands. If someone tries to force me to play, I threated to sue.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721231)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:43 PM
Author: Supple Jade Hell

there are easier ways of not going into the game.

for example when pat riley looks down the bench and calls your name as you jog past him to the scorers table just go "yo pat, your wifes a dirty cunt" you'll be on waivers before you can say habanera

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721294)





Date: May 5th, 2006 3:56 PM
Author: cerebral principal's office idea he suggested

While I agree that NBA players are 1000X better than even good basketball players, but the notion that you have to have super human strength to avoid being exposed as a fraud is absurd. Over the years, there have been plenty of older payers with shot-up knees, or overweight players who could hardly jump and get up the court who were still able to play in the league. They weren’t very good, but they remained in the league.

A guy in good shape with decent size (who knows how to play basketball) can run up on down the court and play back-off defense (give the guy the parameter shot) for a while before being exposed, as long as he doesn’t try anything on offense.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721387)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:01 PM
Author: Gold stead

totally wrong. even fat shawn kemp could pwn all but the best players.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721428)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:33 PM
Author: Indigo fanboi

if you've ever been around professional athletes, and in their athletic setting, you would know that the difference is immediately conspicuous. maybe you could blend in as a right-fielder for a while -- but only until any ball that required mobility exposed you. the pace of basketball is so much faster, even with pretty good high school players, that even guys who play a lot of pick-up games, reliably say "nice look," and think they do a credible imitation of a point guard would be a massive liability among real players. the basic flow of an NBA game is comparable to running into an NFL line, facing a major league pitcher, or attempting to just blend in on an NHL line shift. they are so much faster, bigger, stronger, more skilled, and more experienced that you not only couldn't keep up, but most people would get physically pummeled. the idea that something like taking a jump shot or playing "back-off defense" would be anything like what you're accoustomed to is absurd -- unless of course you are either unusually big, skilled, or both.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721665)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:47 PM
Author: Exhilarant Nighttime Piazza Bbw

dream killer

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721789)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:47 PM
Author: sable old irish cottage

titcr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721790)





Date: May 5th, 2006 5:18 PM
Author: titillating public bath

This is pretty credited, but NBA players aren't as strong as you make them out to be. I remember the announcers making a huge deal about Kevin Willis benching 420, and he was a total fucking beast. I doubt the guards are really any stronger than the average man who is in pretty good shape. The real gap is in speed and reflexes. They would pwn us with their lightning hands and there isn't anything we could do about it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5722053)





Date: May 5th, 2006 5:40 PM
Author: splenetic range gunner

No, they're strong as hell. There's a difference between brute weightlifting strength and being able to overpower your opponent using strength, agility, and leverage. Basketball players have more of the latter, because the game doesn't really lend itself to huge muscle mass (you have to be very quick, and more muscle adds more weight, which ostensibly slows you down). In other words, NBA players are stronger than all of us, because basketball play doesn't rely as heavily on muscle as it relies on other intangibles. Football is different, because brute strength is actually required for some positions, and more pure muscle strength and mass is much more important than it is in basketball.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5722198)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:28 PM
Author: sable old irish cottage

I'd do just fine.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721619)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:49 PM
Author: alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721814)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:44 PM
Author: Milky home ape

I'm 6'6" and 230, and in college I often played pickup with some of our varsity starters, including one guy who got drafted by the Cavs. I could hold my own, especially on defense.

That was all a lie, within 8 seconds of game time their worst player would be picking goo from between his sneaker treads that used to be my tubby ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721764)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:47 PM
Author: insecure crimson police squad

Growing up, Spud Webb was a member of the same country club my family was. He lived out on the golf course, and had a pretty nice outdoor basketball court. He would always host parties in the summer time and various NBA players would come... One year, for whatever reason the guys who won the Dallas Hoop-it-Up tourney were at his house... they played against Spudd and NBA no names. It wasn't even close... Spud's team DESTROYED these three dudes. It was ugly.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721787)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:50 PM
Author: ivory cuckoldry macaca

Very interesting. I would probably be exposed in that my stamina will last less time than the shot clock.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721824)





Date: May 5th, 2006 4:50 PM
Author: alcoholic lay sweet tailpipe

that's awesome

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5721828)





Date: May 5th, 2006 6:33 PM
Author: low-t metal mood useless brakes

When i was in like 10th, 11th grade I went to basketball camp, the ages of the camp were like 5th to 11th grade. So one day the guy who runs the camp tell us he has a special guest, and the special guest happens to be Ron Artest. This is while he is at St. Johns and not really known as crazy yet. After a boring 15-20 minute speech from Arest, the guy who runs the camp tells us that Artest has agreed to play the entire camp 1 on 1. He gets the ball first and first one to score wins.

Artest doesn't take it easy on anyone, even against like the 5-th graders he is taking it in and dunking it and yelling as he does it. Finally as Artest starts to mix in more jumpers he misses one and a camper finally gets the ball. The kid tries to shoot an immediate 3 and gets rejected. I was about the 50th or so person to go. I played the "lay off" defense you guys were talking about hoping to get him to shoot a jumper. He pulls up, shoots right inside the (college) 3pt line and misses and I get the ball. My only real move is a hard drive to the left, so i drive it hard to the left and maybe i deluded myself into thinking i had a step, but I pull a ball fake and he jumps in the air, and as i go to shoot it he recovers and blocks the ball almost to like halfcourt. He ends up recovering the ball and dunking it on me.

He played the entire camp, which was at least 100 kids, and didn't lose to anyone. The whole thing took hours.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5722548)





Date: May 5th, 2006 6:58 PM
Author: poppy nursing home jewess

wtf was the speech like? did he rep his album?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5722697)





Date: April 15th, 2007 5:21 AM
Author: Rambunctious Mother Step-uncle's House

blat blat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934711)





Date: March 10th, 2007 10:14 PM
Author: charcoal house-broken sandwich degenerate

DAMN you guys are awesome at story telling.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7735921)





Date: December 10th, 2007 6:10 PM
Author: racy federal becky parlour

titcr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#9007442)





Date: March 10th, 2007 1:57 AM
Author: Frozen Orchid Den

The thread that started it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7732636)





Date: March 10th, 2007 3:06 AM
Author: Vivacious french point persian

didn't puerto rico beat a team full of NBA players?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7732869)





Date: April 15th, 2007 4:51 AM
Author: Dashing Buff Native Keepsake Machete

bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934678)





Date: April 15th, 2007 4:56 AM
Author: Rambunctious Mother Step-uncle's House

I fucking love this thread.

I'm gonna go play ball tomorrow just to remind myself how bad I am.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934683)





Date: April 15th, 2007 5:16 AM
Author: deep institution famous landscape painting
Subject: excluding the post below, this thread is TTT

Date: May 5th, 2006 2:17 PM

Author: Red Means Go (I'm Red Means Go and I approve of this post)

i'm not scared of those pussies. i'd walk up to the biggest nigger on the other team and punch him in the face as hard as i could. it would start a team brawl, and in the chaos i could slip away and rape 3, maybe 4 cheerleaders before anyone was the wiser. cuz that's how i roll.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#5720613)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934708)





Date: April 15th, 2007 5:23 AM
Author: seedy jet-lagged site coffee pot

I really miss that guy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#7934713)





Date: October 12th, 2007 7:19 PM
Author: slate provocative field fortuitous meteor

classicbump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#8760506)





Date: October 12th, 2007 7:20 PM
Author: sickened ticket booth nibblets

I don't. I score the winning basket.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#8760509)





Date: December 10th, 2007 6:19 PM
Author: bonkers violet university

Question: Am I me, or lil' bow wow?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#9007471)





Date: April 4th, 2008 1:36 PM
Author: Appetizing bright toilet seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#9577598)





Date: November 13th, 2008 7:02 PM
Author: Thirsty Orchestra Pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=411114&forum_id=2#10358743)