Date: May 8th, 2006 3:25 PM Author: canary telephone
When I was a little kid, there was this other kid who was terrified of bees. Then one day he snitched on me for playing around with fire near the river. Near the fucking river! I had a pail full of water in case it got out of hand.
So, I put some flowers inside a jar, put the jar near a hive, and waited until the jar got some bees in it.
Then I quickly slapped on some plastic wrap and sealed it with a rubber band. I grabbed the jar, and ran. I got together a couple of my friends, and we put on ski masks.
Then, while the snitch was playing with his Tonka trucks near the river, we ambushed him and held him down. My friends pulled up his shirt while I shook the jar of bees.
Then I put the jar on his stomach, cut the rubber band, and pulled the plastic away, so that the bees could sting him. They did; he had like 15 stingers in his skin when we were done. I moved the jar around a bit so the bees could sting him all over.
He was SCREAMING! These are still some of the loudest screams I've ever hear in my life. I was afraid someone would call the cops on us, but his mom was a drunk, so no such luck for him.
Once the bees stopped moving around, we left the jar and ran. The kid was still screaming like a maniac on the sandy riverbank.
Date: May 8th, 2006 3:44 PM Author: canary telephone
The kid was a snitch, and furthermore, he was annoying. He was the kind of kid who got HIMSELF beaten up by kids who weren't particularly looking for a fight.
Dee, you are the biggest pussy around these parts and even the fags on this board could knock your dick in the dirt
you can stop sucking petro's dick in the hope of injesting some small amount of e-testosterone. it won't work and you look like more of a pussy for sucking cock
Date: October 30th, 2006 9:49 PM Author: violent wonderful reading party
i suppose that's why he wore a ski mask. hopefully the other boys were forced to fully participate as well, so as to prevent them from saying anything.
Date: May 8th, 2006 3:33 PM Author: Charcoal harsh nursing home
Uh, I have been on the receiving end of such play.
My cousins and I were exploring a garbage dump in Nashville. We were also playing cowboys and Indians. Eventually the "police" caught me and decided to put me in a "jail," which consisted tying me up and putting me inside a metal bureau and closing the door and going home for dinner while I screamed and waited, terrified. They told my family that I was playing with the puppy next door. There was a hole in the burea, too, so this ginat rat came in and sniffed me.
IF there's any comfort, those cousins are really fucked up now.
I slapped a girl's ass while she was hanging from the monkey bars in 4th grade and got in big trouble. Her dad is one of the attorneys in my firm and has no idea who I am.
I tend to grab women's asses when drunk. They giggle and slap me playfully--this despite knowing nothing of my proclivities. I'm just that much of a playa.
Date: May 8th, 2006 3:40 PM Author: purple stirring piazza
I set a bush on fire playing with matches with this kid who was a real fucking terror. My neighbors saw the fire and came out and started to try to put it out which gave us time to hide in a tree (a little dinky tree too with like no leaves). the fire dept came and my dad and they were looking for me, but no way i was coming down. Then THAT KIDS parents wouldnt let him play me with ME anymore
Date: May 8th, 2006 3:51 PM Author: purple stirring piazza
it was in extremely arid land too, one of the neighbors came over with a rake to pull the brush away. when my dad finally asked me "who lit the match" I just said I had no idea what he was talking about and that it "just happened"
This sounds familiar. My brother was a pyro. He would sometimes cover his GI Joes in rubber cement, then light them on fire. Once he did this in the school day care's storage room.
Date: May 8th, 2006 3:50 PM Author: maniacal school cafeteria son of senegal
One time, while at med school, three friends and I decided to see what it would be like to die and then come back to life. During the process, I was reminded of the time that some school chums and I gave chase to a rascal, who took refuge in a tree. We surrounded him and pelted him with stones, which, as one thing led to another, crushed his puny skull. I later sexed his mom.
Date: May 8th, 2006 3:59 PM Author: clear offensive stock car legend
I lived in a somewhat rural area until I was 11--a line of houses on our side of the street backed up to a wooded area that had trails, creeks, etc. Fortunately for me, almost every neighbor had a kid or two that was within a few years of my age, so there were always about 12-15 of us who would get together every afternoon to wreck havoc and cause mayhem, coming back with scrapes, scars, grass and mud stains on our clothes. It was mostly innocuous stuff, waterfights, forts, treehouses.
Then I saw "Gettysburg" and it really stuck with me. We drew up a plan to build a complex system of earthworks and trenches in a semi-wooded area so we could have our own Little Round Top battle with water guns, water balloons, etc. We spent about a month and a half over that summer building the ultimate battleground--we gathered fallen logs and branches to build our trenches (usually 3-4 feet deep, only). Each side had a "base," which was a treehouse surrounded by a fort on the ground. On the rear side of each fort was a prisoner-hold. The plan was that if some kid got pwned by water balloons or guns, he would be captured and put in the prisoner hold until he was released. The hold was really just a wide ditch covered with a propped up ceiling of thornbush-clippings, so the leaves would completely cover the top.
Finally, a few weeks before school started again, we started having our battles, which I must say were pretty fucking cool. Other kids in our class would get dropped off during the day to play with us, so there were always about 15-20 kids who would come equipped with their own weaponry and water bottle. The battles went well, aside from the occasional quarrel over whether the watergun stream actually hit one of us (we learned quickly which shirts had little color contrast between wet and dry). One day, though, we were in the midst of a particularly bitter struggle to free three captured prisoners from the enemy's camp. Their remaining kids were bottled up in the fort, defending it with their lives, and they had two propped up in the treehouse raining down their dwindling supply of water balloons on our side, while we tried to hit them with our own supply and allow ourselves to enter the fort. With the opponents fighting vigorously from their treehouse, they forgot to notice that the branches supporting them were getting slippery from the water being spilled and shot everywhere. One of us threw a balloon at a kid in the tree who ducked to avoid it, but lost his balance and fell out of the tree and onto the prisoner hold that had the three kids, collapsing the flimsy thornbush roof on top of them. Needless to say, the injuries from that day were quite extensive, the kid who fell broke his arm or something, and his parents called ours to tell them to take down the battleground. They complied, ruining the coolest summer of our lives.
Date: May 8th, 2006 4:09 PM Author: purple stirring piazza
This is pretty cool. I had much of the same, complete with a rope that went from the taller treehouse to a secondary lookout point below. for a while we were using someone's belt to rip to the lower house, but at some point we began using whatever old rags we had lying around the house. One shirt probably made it thru 3 or 4 uses before that poor little boy got on it and it split in two pieces right in the middle of the rope. I sincerely remember the horror as he realized that he was just midair falling but still clenching onto the two pieces of cloth. just a broken arm though, thank god, as i thought he might die.
Date: May 8th, 2006 4:11 PM Author: clear offensive stock car legend
Yikes, I can imagine that kid's horror. I felt something like that when I fell off a ski lift when I was 7. Didn't break anything, it was towards the top of the mountain and we weren't that high off the ground.
Date: May 8th, 2006 4:15 PM Author: clear offensive stock car legend
Well it was mostly the mom of the kid who broke his arm falling from the treehouse. She called like all the other parents, and those who had kids that were bloodied up by the thornbush were sympathetic. We all wanted to cover it up, we stayed with the injured kids as long as possible trying to see how bad they were hurt before telling a parent about the accident.
In little league baseball me and the other pitcher on my team used to hit like 5 players a game. One of us would always pitch, and the other would play third base and signal when to hit a guy. We figured if we really hurt a kid or two the rest of the team would be so terrified that they wouldn't hit well. I think our coach knew what was going on but never said anything about it. I got warnings from the umpire a couple of times too, which I don't think happens that often with 10 and 11 year olds.
No, that would have been something. Most of the kids were in a lot of pain, I probably would have taken them pretty easily if they had. Also, I don't think too many of them knew it was intentional. I mean, pitchers don't typically have very good control at that age.
Date: May 8th, 2006 4:34 PM Author: lake marketing idea cruise ship
when i was growing up, there was this kid who used to always show off how smart he was in classes. he annoyed the fuck out of me. so one day i took his dog aside and into my house, then spent several hours "decorating" the dog with chewed up bubble-gum. then i took his nasty, gummed-up dog for a walk and went over to the kid's house. the kid saw what i had done to his dog and started crying like a bitch. so i picked up a big rock, the size of a brick, and cracked it on the dog's head.
the dog had to be shaved completely because of the gum, and was effectively retarded by the head-crack. kid deserved it though.
When I was about ten or eleven years old, my buddies and I were *way* into the WWF. That summer, a friends mom decided to give up her gardening "hobby," and we quickly comandeered her fenced in garden space (which was fenced in with three horizontal pieces and four corner supports and thus resembled a wrestling ring in our eyes) as our on personal wrestlemania site.
Things went well for thirty to forty minutes or so - full nelsons were applied, side suplexes administered and so on. Then someone got the great idea of pulling a macho man savage elbow drop off the top turnbuckle/fence post. The end result was one kid *down* (one broken jaw and one missing front tooth in addition to being out cold for a bit) and a neighborhood full of pissed off parents.
Not all that far you say? I agree. What went "too far" was the aspiring macho man deciding that next night that he needed to extract revenge on the kid for "telling" on him, as opposed to hiding the broken jaw and missing tooth until he hit 18 and could have it taken care of himself. His particular brand of revenge was to fill up a bunch of two liter coke bottles with baking soda, chlorine and soda, cap 'em, shake 'em, and toss 'em on the offending kid's porch so that the resulting bang (and these little 2 liter bombs produced BIG bangs) would send a message.
Imprecise measurements gave the "bombs" vastly different ignition times, and instead of going off in rapid succession, the went off with several seconds in between. When the offending kid's father came out to check on the noise, he apparently either picked up an unexploded bottle or at least got too close to it, as the resulting explosion blasted his face with chlorine, and he had a decent swath of freddy kreuger-esque scarring from his cheek to his eyes from that point until they moved out a few months later.
That chlorine bombing fucker was the kid that I know today as my psychotic younger brother.
The kid lived just a few houses down and it was a real small neighborhood, so rumors of his injuries circulated all night. At one point we heard he was paralyzed, at another that he was in a coma. It probably wasn't until a few days after the fact that we found out it was "just" a broken jaw and tooth.
As far as catching the culprit, basically, my brother was one of two or three of the real asshole kids on the block (and the one that elbow-dropped the kid), and it didn't take much detective work for my brother to be asked a few questions about the soda bottles and as he was never much of a criminal mastermind (just a criminal) he mixed up facts pretty quick, stumbled about, and eventually yielded a confession.
he was just made to go through some sort of juvenile offenders program or some shit that summer. Not like one of those 'beath them into submission' boot camps, but more like a 'become a sensitive human being through some sort of camping' deal from what I gathered.
Date: May 9th, 2006 4:19 AM Author: bateful double fault locale
i did plenty of small, stupid things (mostly playing with fire), but the meanest thing i did was shove a little asian kid's face in the sand...the little pebbles got all in his tiny narrow eyes...i can see it perfectly still.
i also bullied a couple kids in middle school, but that was mostly emotional abuse, coupled iwth the occasional shoving or tripping.
Date: May 9th, 2006 6:15 AM Author: galvanic office goal in life
I was playing touch football at recess and the ground was still wet/muddy from the rain the previous night. I jumped and caught a pass on one play and one of the white troublemaker kids who was next to me, pushed me pretty hard so that I fell into a big puddle of mud. I couldn't tell if it was intentional or not but I told the teacher on duty at the time who did nothing about it. A few days later, I saw the kid go into the bathroom and as he was taking a piss, I walked up behind him and rammed his head as hard as I could into the wall and ran out. He never saw it was me. I heard the pasty little fuck was bleeding from a gash on his head and had to go to the hospital and get a few stitches. He was gone for two days and came back with a big bandage. The teacher asked for witnesses but no one saw anything. I was going to tell the kid I was the one who did it but didnt' want to get in trouble.
Date: July 17th, 2006 8:28 PM Author: emerald becky
There's this trick where if you hold your breath while hanging your head upside down for like 15 seconds, you'll pass out for like 10 seconds. I forgot how to exactly do it but it'll make you faint. There was this older kid who was sort of a bully that we convinced to try it. He did, fell to the ground, and we pelted him with stones and snowballs till he regained consciousness. Then we ran like fuck.
Date: July 17th, 2006 8:49 PM Author: Lascivious Meetinghouse
When I was like seven, I was playing with some neighborhood children, and this mildly retarded 15 year old that we all hated used to hang out with us because, well, he was retarded. And he decided one day to pants me. Everybody laughed and I was pissed, but that was the end of it. So during dinner my brother decided to bring it up for a cheap laugh, and I was all mad, but my mom and dad were like "Wait, the 15 year old retarded boy pulled your pants down?!" Then they grilled me for an hour about rather he touched me "down there."
Date: July 17th, 2006 8:50 PM Author: razzmatazz abode
The key to this was putting on ski-masks as if he wouldn't know exactly who you were. Almost as silly as me wearing gloves to avoid fingerprinting the 50+ rocks I dropped into a neighbor's septic tank (or whatever pipe it was, it was for plumbing). They had to dig up the entire front yard, so I was relieved that I had worn gloves to do the job.
My friends and I got ahold of a balloon launcher and began firing at a house. We hit it numerous times until, eventually, we broke a window and ran. I eventually discovered that the house was owned by a federal judge and the family thought that they were under fire.
Date: September 7th, 2006 5:00 PM Author: garnet gaming laptop
Awesome. I did almost the exact same thing. Some annoying cunt wrapped my friend's house, so we gathered all the toilet paper up, soaked it to make baseball sized spitballs, and started launching them on to her roof with a 3-man balloon launcher.
Eventually, a shot flew astray and broke a window, although the aimer later confessed to me that hitting the window was intentional and he just thought it wouldn't break.
Date: September 7th, 2006 8:49 AM Author: hateful white death wish background story
I don't know if this is "going too far", but... When I was seven I was playing with two kids that lived down the street from me and my older brother. I don't remember exactly what provoked it, but one of the kids bit me on the arm. In retaliation, I shoved him down onto the side of the road, sat on him, and slammed his head into the pavement and held him there by the neck while I yelled at him. He apologized and freaked out and ran into his house crying. His father flipped his shit and called my house to bitch at my mother. My mother was pissed until she looked at my arm and saw his teeth marks (they were purple and *almost* broke the skin) on my arm. Then she basically told the guy to fuck off and pretty much told me that I did the right thing in kicking the kids ass.
Date: September 7th, 2006 5:25 PM Author: garnet gaming laptop
When I was around 14, one of my friends lived near a vacant house up for sale that was relatively accessible. It had a little-traveled alley behind it that allowed us to come and go as we pleased with minimal potential for witnesses. It eventually became a common staging ground for after-school fights, but its real allure was as an object of vandalism.
I should mention that this was actually a nice house in a decent subdivision, not some run down abandoned shack. For the most part, I had only been to the house to take part in and spectate fights, but my friend convinced me to make a small expedition with him to explore the inside. We also had a third person accompany us, but he was a tool that neither of us really liked and we found him barely tolerable.
Anyway, when we got there, my friend and I looked around and engaged in petty acts of vandalism like stealing the knobs off cabinets and spraypaint grafitti on surfaces that could easily be painted over. The other kid (we'll call him douchebag) went berserk though. He grabbed a hanging rod from one of the closets and went around smashing all of the large mirrors in the house. We were getting pretty nervous, so we took the rod away from the kid and made him go downstairs. When we went downstairs to check on him like five minutes later, we found douchebag in the process of pushing the dishwasher through the back doorway and into the backyard(he had already pulled it out of the kitchen). We knew we needed to get out of there quickly, so we helped him move it and ran off.
In later weeks, various acquaintances of mine made visits to the house, but I never went back myself. One of them fucked with the water heater in the attic and caused a leak that eventually drenched the floor in one of the second story rooms and caused it to collapse. It left a hole in the floor roughly 5 feet across, so the damage was definately substantial.
One day my friend ran away from home(a douche move I know), and decided to hole up in the house for a few days. Unfortunately for him, cops had been staking out the place and they swooped in on him one night because he was dumb enough to have a light turned on. I'm pretty sure he ended up taking the rap for everything, despite the fact that he wasn't responsible for any of the more costly damage. To his credit, he didn't rat anyone else out.
Date: September 7th, 2006 5:52 PM Author: canary telephone
No; these were mostly honeybees. It was a big pot-style jar. As the bees stung him, I moved the jar around to agitate the remaining bees, and to spread the zone in which he was stung. There may have been a yellowjacket in there, though, because when I dropped the jar, at least one bee flew away.
Date: September 7th, 2006 5:52 PM Author: sticky pervert Subject: Great Thread
Off the top of my head
1. My friends and I used to act like we were jumping each other on the side of this busy street (~5 on 1). Guys would literally stop their cars in the middle of the road because they thought some kid was getting the shit beat out of them. We would then all run away laughing. I'm surprised we didn't cause a huge accident.
2. We would tie fishing line to each arm of a shirt/jacket and then place the shirt in the middle of the road and retreat to opposite ends of the street (residential street; light traffic). When a car came by, we'd pull on the shirt and it would jump into the air in front of the car. The car would ALWAYS slam on their brakes. Occasionally we would get chased--never caught. Now that I have my license, I couldn't imaging driving down a sreet and having a shirt jump up in front of my car. It would probably scare me shitless
3. Kinda like #2. We would tie a fishing line to a stuffed animal and yank it across the street when a car was coming.
4. Christmas was always fun. Grab one end of some christmas lights and run, yanking them all down.
Date: September 7th, 2006 8:07 PM Author: Aphrodisiac orange home idea he suggested
In junior high me and my best buddy had a friend who had ADD and had to take ritalin. His mom would tell him that if he mixed alcohol with his ritalin it would give him a heart attack and he'd die. We decided to take vodka and mix it in with some water in a water bottle.
We went to the park on a hot summer day and played bball. After a few intense games we faked like we were thirsty and grabbed the water and offered him some.
He took a sip and spit it out and dropped the bottle. We chased him around the court pouring it on him as he screamed.
BTW we didnt know whether or not mixing alcohol with ritalin would kill him either. We were in 6th grade.
Date: September 8th, 2006 2:02 PM Author: Spectacular sepia clown
Well, one time when I was in 2nd grade my whole class had recess taken away for a week for getting into a BRICK fight on the playground. Yeah, throwing bricks at one another.
Date: September 8th, 2006 2:09 PM Author: Bat-shit-crazy hissy fit field
A friend and I were throwing snowballs at passing cars' windows one winter. I hit a Toyota and I'm not sure what happened but the driver hit the brakes on the icy road, which made him skid into the opposite lane and have a rather nifty head-on collision. My friend and I ran like world class sprinters and hid out for the next six hours in some stupid field, cringing every time a siren would come within 500 yards of us.
Date: September 8th, 2006 2:15 PM Author: pungent ratface public bath
when i was in kindergarten i accidently pushed this girl i liked off the jungle gym and she broke her arm. we were friends and i felt really bad. i just meant to nudge he after she called me a name, i feel really bad.
Date: October 30th, 2006 10:02 PM Author: Light shrine persian
theres these 3 little runts in approx. 7th, 8th, and 9th grades that wouldnt stop harassing my friend. about 2 weeks ago we lured them in to my car promising to take them for some cheesesteaks, as they would not stop harassing us for some. we took them to south philly, and as they left through the backseat doors and closed them, my friend and i remained in the car, and i locked the doors. we had dropped them off in a shitty part of town and drove off from those fuckers. feeling bad i decided to go back for them but they were no where to be found. they had gotten robbed on their way home waiting for a bus, traumatized for days.
Date: January 26th, 2007 9:58 AM Author: mahogany sweet tailpipe
Just remembered this:
My mom use to have one of those volvo station wagons with a "rumble seat" or whatever the hell it's called. Every time I had a friend over we'd always try to hide in the back as she was leaving but it was pretty obvious we were hiding back there and she'd just laugh it off and tell us to get out.
So one day she was dropping me off at friend's house and had to go inside for a minute to talk to his mom. Being the sneaky bastards that we were, we decided again to try to hide out in the back of the volvo. Only this time there were some blankets back there so it was really easy to stay hidden underneath them.
Anyway, we're back there hiding and my mom starts to pull away and doesn't say anything. At this point she pulls up to a stop sign and we jump up,yell "Surprise!", and she screamed.