Just once

You tell your self

But it feels

Right

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4391123&forum_id=2#39188407)

Never heard a slime pit called that before.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4391123&forum_id=2#40651578)

Disclaimer: Before all of this I 100% completely identified as a man, a man's man type of internal mindset. Very heterosexual. And gay stuff just did nothing for me. It was only out of desperation and having the right features that I attempted this gender transition. By right features I mean I was only 5'8 starting out and had a 2.7 inches erect penis. Plus all my facial features are feminine and I was pretty cute even as a guy. With 4 inches to my height and dick I could have been a normie or even chad lite. Yet reality is cruel sometimes. Since being on hormones I have lost some height, so I'm closer to 5'7 now, a true manlet if I ever decide to return to manhood.

I have been on estrogen for about 6 months now. It all started when I got my new therapist three months before that. Who referred me to a new general practitioner he knows. Obviously I told him nothing about being incel or hating females. Only that I always felt like a girl, which was a massive lie. I just wanted to get hormones to attempt a gender transition and hopefully become attracted to dudes like the other trans on reddit. Who so ironically betray themselves and their cause by casually posting truth.

I just want to say for the record I don't believe in any of the trans bullshit about being born that way. Maybe an exceptionally small amount of them are. Yet if you read their forums or subs its so extremely common how many of them are just guys who wank to shemale porn and have autogynephilia. The vast majority almost always speak about how their brains get changed by hormones. Further proving they are truly male in the brain. Basically they are mostly cross dressing fetishists. Maybe a very few of them really were born with a fucked up brain but its hard to weed out the liars. Since the fake trans just copy what the real trans say. Yet they let it slip in their posts how much they love tranny porn or wanking their she cocks. Not that it matters, more trans is always a good thing. Less beta orbiters and sometimes even trans that are hot.

The first injection my doctor did for me. After that I did the rest myself. My hormones were tested before I started estradiol and at the 3 month mark. My testosterone was exceptionally low so he said I did not need an anti-androgen. I started out injecting every 2 weeks but moved to once per week after 3 months because I was getting hot flashes due to low spots in between.

The changes seemed slow at first. The first week I got sick at my stomach after the injection. I just felt awful, almost like someone was flicking my balls with their finger. Not as painful as being kicked in the nuts though. This lasted for about 3 or 4 days. Then it happened again after the next injection. It mostly stopped after the 3rd one. By which time I already had breast buds. Just a short while after that I started getting serious breast tissue. I had already been out in public dressed several times even in the first month. But I got a binder so I could delay social transition. Because I needed more time to master my female voice.

Mastering a female voice was actually pretty tough. It took me about a month and a half to really sound like a girl. And I was practicing every day at least 30 minutes. I spent so much time looking up how to do this and incorporating the advice into my sessions. I would record myself and play it back to see if I sounded like a girl.

It was about 4 months in when things really started to twist my reality into all sorts of fucked. One day when I was wanking I realized I was still hard after cumming, which was mostly clear at this point. I felt as if I was not fully satisfied, as if I could keep going. So I kept wanking and I came again. Then I came again, and again. With no orgasm declining in quality. I came so many times I wasn't horny for 4 days afterwards. At which point I came over 10 times. A week after that I came 40+ times in less than a hour. I actually lost count of how many times I came. The first orgasm had the most clear cum. Then the first few after had plenty. Then I would rotate between ejaculating anywhere from a teaspoon, to a few drops, to a dry orgasm. As my body just kept making more.

During this same time my emotions were becoming far more intense. I would cry at stupid and random stuff. But crying does not feel bad, it feels good to release emotions. I would care about stuff that didn't even matter. It was almost like the hormones were dumbing me down. Dumbing me down enough to where I could enjoy life. I was starting to get a feeling, almost like being continually a little bit high. It was euphoric to say the least.

I only had a bit of feeling in my phantom vagina area. Which was more than a bit disappointing. So I decided to try to encourage the feelings. I had phone sex with a couple of guys I met on the net. I role played the part of the girl perfectly, even moaned like I was loving it. The next day after the 3rd guy I experienced a massive change. After peeing I felt this intense surge of energy from my phantom vagina to my chest. An absolute nuclear pleasure reaction and I thought about the night before when I had phone sex with that guy. It wasn't long after I realized what men could do to me, that I started craving to kiss them. Craving them inside me as I cuddled my pillow while falling asleep. Craving to be held by a big and strong man.

The month after that things got even more intense. It was clear to me that females experienced sex with far more joy than men. Its like having a dick with sensory feelings that reaches all through up the body and hooks in the heart. My first experience with a guy was a non chad friend, who knew I had started a transition and thinks I am actually trans. We didn't have sex or even oral but we kissed a few times and cuddled for a few hours. It was magical, the cuddles were even better than the endless orgasms. Waves upon waves of mental emotion mixed with sexual waves of pleasure. Its so extremely addicting.

I'm beyond words enjoying my experience on female hormones. I still hate females, cucks, and chads. This is the turning point for me. If I don't quit now I will probably end up sterile and unable to break this intense addiction to female hormones and to men. Finishing transition will take work but leads to a life of happiness. Not finishing means going back to a hell after experiencing a heavenly paradise the likes of which I could have never imagined.

I feel like any choice I make is life wrecking but I was already totally fucked to begin with. Its so fucked up to crave men, to think of being dominated by them. My brain so fucked up on female hormones its telling me it would feel amazing to swallow semen and get creampied. I only have one cuddle buddy right now but I think about cuddling other guys too.

I have not had sex yet, not even oral but I feel like if a dude mounts me and creams me while I'm hopped up on estrogen there may be no return. Because I can already tell getting fucked is another level of pleasure. Maybe even greater than the endless orgasms or even the cuddling. Orgasms are just a sprinkle on the icing for female bodies. Things are so much more intense and amazing in all areas of life. Going from before transition to right now was like going from black & white reality in low definition to 4k ultra HD with perfect sound. Even more than that, its like life is even more colorful now and things are so much more intense. The sky even looks brighter, stars shine more intensely to me. Its like hormones grew a lens of happiness in my brain that I now perceive reality through and its a much more positive experience.

Things look potentially so good, at least better than when it was hopeless. I don't know if I can ever go through with having my genitals cut off. I just have like a mental block over such a barbaric surgery. I think I could live fine with just having male parts. I partially identify as female but know deep down I'll always be a man because men are awesome.

I could see this as being the best cope for manlets who are cute. As long as their face isn't too masculine. I'm not saying its perfect, it has downsides like having to pee more. Its still a lot better than being incel forever.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4391123&forum_id=2#39190195)