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Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Violet stag film quadroon
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
provocative orange parlour
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
Dashing Spot Stain
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
flirting dark theater stage
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Razzmatazz juggernaut
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
Carnelian heaven
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
Iridescent school friendly grandma
  04/30/21
...
Wild up-to-no-good marketing idea
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
Violet stag film quadroon
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
Iridescent school friendly grandma
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
Violet stag film quadroon
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
provocative orange parlour
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
Dashing Spot Stain
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
Iridescent school friendly grandma
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
Dashing Spot Stain
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
Pontificating splenetic circlehead
  04/30/21
...
Tan cuckold principal's office
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
Adventurous mad-dog skullcap messiness
  04/30/21
This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
rusted pit macaca
  04/30/21
...
Violet stag film quadroon
  04/30/21
...
Titillating office ladyboy
  04/30/21
...
impressive halford international law enforcement agency
  04/30/21
...
arousing khaki lay new version
  04/30/21
Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
Contagious trailer park
  05/04/22
As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
Burgundy razzle-dazzle range patrolman
  04/30/21
...
Exhilarant Cruise Ship
  04/30/21
...
Sexy disturbing ticket booth
  04/30/21
FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
lascivious jap
  04/30/21
...
big-titted dog poop
  04/30/21
...
rusted pit macaca
  04/30/21
...
Bonkers school cafeteria organic girlfriend
  04/30/21
...
mint dopamine headpube
  04/30/21
...
Filthy Shrine Doctorate
  04/30/21
...
Titillating office ladyboy
  04/30/21
...
Scarlet Alpha
  04/30/21
...
big-titted dog poop
  05/01/21
As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
big-titted dog poop
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
Wild up-to-no-good marketing idea
  04/30/21
...
Multi-colored forum
  04/30/21
i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
Wild up-to-no-good marketing idea
  04/30/21
...
startled mauve giraffe trust fund
  04/30/21
A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
Fear-inspiring Ruby Candlestick Maker Antidepressant Drug
  04/30/21
...
boyish place of business clown
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
provocative orange parlour
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
hairless heady french chef plaza
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
Violet stag film quadroon
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
hairless heady french chef plaza
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
Violet stag film quadroon
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
hairless heady french chef plaza
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
Dashing Spot Stain
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
Dull Cracking Lodge
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
jade windowlicker
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
Wild up-to-no-good marketing idea
  04/30/21
...
boyish place of business clown
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
Bonkers school cafeteria organic girlfriend
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
Autistic casino faggot firefighter
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
Fear-inspiring Ruby Candlestick Maker Antidepressant Drug
  04/30/21
still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
Autistic casino faggot firefighter
  04/30/21
...
Iridescent school friendly grandma
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
Sexy disturbing ticket booth
  04/30/21
...
Exhilarant Cruise Ship
  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
stirring black woman yarmulke
  04/30/21
...
poppy big parlor really tough guy
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
laughsome center
  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
Low-t death wish
  04/30/21
Wow
laughsome center
  04/30/21
I just copied this from a brief.
Low-t death wish
  04/30/21
...
mint dopamine headpube
  04/30/21
Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. E...
Dashing Spot Stain
  04/30/21
...
violent glittery area
  04/30/21
...
talented degenerate business firm
  02/22/22
...
crystalline reading party location
  06/22/22
...
Tan cuckold principal's office
  04/30/21
titcr.
boyish place of business clown
  04/30/21
180
violent glittery area
  04/30/21
...
Titillating office ladyboy
  04/30/21
...
Multi-colored forum
  04/30/21
holy shit
talented degenerate business firm
  04/30/21
attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls
Titillating office ladyboy
  04/30/21
how
Fear-inspiring Ruby Candlestick Maker Antidepressant Drug
  04/30/21
...
Scarlet Alpha
  06/22/22
...
rusted pit macaca
  04/30/21
...
lilac menage
  04/30/21
...
frisky newt
  04/30/21
...
Multi-colored forum
  04/30/21
...
lilac menage
  06/01/21
...
talented degenerate business firm
  02/22/22
this is incredible
lilac menage
  02/22/22
...
talented degenerate business firm
  02/25/22
...
Smoky garrison dingle berry
  05/04/22
wow
crystalline reading party location
  06/22/22
...
violent glittery area
  06/22/22
...
Yapping peach water buffalo house
  06/22/22
High | level | legal work
Chartreuse sandwich
  04/30/21
...
startled mauve giraffe trust fund
  04/30/21
Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
Appetizing Cobalt Coffee Pot
  04/30/21
A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
odious piazza mother
  04/30/21
two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
gold goal in life
  04/30/21
C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
Excitant Station Cuckoldry
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Deep Ultramarine Hominid
  04/30/21
Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
Histrionic misanthropic box office rigpig
  04/30/21
This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more...
Multi-colored forum
  04/30/21
...
talented degenerate business firm
  04/30/21
...
rusted pit macaca
  04/30/21
...
Low-t death wish
  04/30/21
...
talented degenerate business firm
  02/22/22
writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I ...
Snowy Main People
  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
rusted pit macaca
  04/30/21
What’s that
Slimy Gay Wrinkle
  04/30/21
You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Th...
rusted pit macaca
  04/30/21
...
Titillating office ladyboy
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
Chocolate meetinghouse
  04/30/21
A and B saw C driving in X
Chocolate meetinghouse
  04/30/21
andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
Electric locus
  04/30/21
I am gay
Rough-skinned whorehouse toaster
  04/30/21
great thread
Multi-colored forum
  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
clear church building filthpig
  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
Dull Cracking Lodge
  04/30/21
...
Dull Cracking Lodge
  05/02/21
...
Dull Cracking Lodge
  05/23/21
Where are we on this? Thank
rusted pit macaca
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
poppy big parlor really tough guy
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
provocative orange parlour
  02/25/22
i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't m...
indigo abode
  06/22/22
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26
"and containing D as" -> "in which D was&q...
UN peacekeeper
  04/19/26
Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not...
tubby spastic 11yo playing in toddler section
  04/19/26
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: Violet stag film quadroon

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: provocative orange parlour

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Dashing Spot Stain

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: flirting dark theater stage

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: Razzmatazz juggernaut

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: Carnelian heaven
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: Iridescent school friendly grandma

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: Wild up-to-no-good marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Violet stag film quadroon

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: Iridescent school friendly grandma

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Violet stag film quadroon

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376201)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: provocative orange parlour

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: Dashing Spot Stain

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Iridescent school friendly grandma

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: Dashing Spot Stain

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Pontificating splenetic circlehead

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: Tan cuckold principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376168)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: Adventurous mad-dog skullcap messiness

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: rusted pit macaca

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Violet stag film quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Titillating office ladyboy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376392)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: impressive halford international law enforcement agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: arousing khaki lay new version



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: Contagious trailer park

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44453959)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Burgundy razzle-dazzle range patrolman

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376178)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: Exhilarant Cruise Ship



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Sexy disturbing ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: lascivious jap

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: big-titted dog poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: rusted pit macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: Bonkers school cafeteria organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: mint dopamine headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376406)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: Filthy Shrine Doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: Titillating office ladyboy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: Scarlet Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: big-titted dog poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: big-titted dog poop

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Wild up-to-no-good marketing idea

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Multi-colored forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Wild up-to-no-good marketing idea

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: startled mauve giraffe trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Fear-inspiring Ruby Candlestick Maker Antidepressant Drug

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: boyish place of business clown



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: provocative orange parlour

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: hairless heady french chef plaza

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Violet stag film quadroon

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: hairless heady french chef plaza

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: Violet stag film quadroon

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: hairless heady french chef plaza

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Dashing Spot Stain

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376208)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Dull Cracking Lodge

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376212)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: jade windowlicker

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376217)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: Wild up-to-no-good marketing idea

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376233)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: boyish place of business clown



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376607)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: Bonkers school cafeteria organic girlfriend

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376246)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: Autistic casino faggot firefighter

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376290)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: Fear-inspiring Ruby Candlestick Maker Antidepressant Drug

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376306)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: Autistic casino faggot firefighter

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376317)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: Iridescent school friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376330)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: Sexy disturbing ticket booth

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376331)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Exhilarant Cruise Ship



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376336)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: stirring black woman yarmulke

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376358)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: poppy big parlor really tough guy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008930)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: laughsome center

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376389)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Low-t death wish

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376393)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: laughsome center

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376411)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Low-t death wish

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376419)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: mint dopamine headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376574)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: Dashing Spot Stain

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376824)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: violent glittery area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377415)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: talented degenerate business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008886)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: crystalline reading party location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722509)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: Tan cuckold principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376432)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: boyish place of business clown

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376504)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: violent glittery area

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376531)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: Titillating office ladyboy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376589)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: Multi-colored forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376641)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: talented degenerate business firm

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376648)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Titillating office ladyboy

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376708)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: Fear-inspiring Ruby Candlestick Maker Antidepressant Drug

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: Scarlet Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722527)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: rusted pit macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376711)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: lilac menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376866)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: frisky newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376872)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: Multi-colored forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42378128)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: lilac menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42558237)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: talented degenerate business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008882)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: lilac menage

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008910)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: talented degenerate business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44032706)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: Smoky garrison dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44453902)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: crystalline reading party location

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722507)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: violent glittery area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722517)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: Yapping peach water buffalo house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722548)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Chartreuse sandwich

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376422)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: startled mauve giraffe trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376672)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: Appetizing Cobalt Coffee Pot

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376456)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: odious piazza mother

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376505)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: gold goal in life

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376517)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: Excitant Station Cuckoldry

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376555)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: Deep Ultramarine Hominid

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376600)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Histrionic misanthropic box office rigpig

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376651)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: Multi-colored forum

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376665)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: talented degenerate business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: rusted pit macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: Low-t death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377648)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: talented degenerate business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008887)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: Snowy Main People

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376695)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: rusted pit macaca

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376699)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Slimy Gay Wrinkle

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376738)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: rusted pit macaca

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376746)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: Titillating office ladyboy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376800)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: Chocolate meetinghouse

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: Chocolate meetinghouse

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377381)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: Electric locus

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377449)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: Rough-skinned whorehouse toaster

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377484)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Multi-colored forum

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42378176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: clear church building filthpig

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42378186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: Dull Cracking Lodge

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: Dull Cracking Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: Dull Cracking Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42509184)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: rusted pit macaca

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42386977)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: poppy big parlor really tough guy

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008916)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: provocative orange parlour

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44032743)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: indigo abode

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722512)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#49827186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: UN peacekeeper

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#49827205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: tubby spastic 11yo playing in toddler section

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#49827363)