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Proper etiquette: picking up girl in helicopter [174]
Poast new message in this thread
Date: February 18th, 2007 6:23 PM Author: nudist french chef This thread is to alert you of a new way I'm going to ball. The next coke-addicted Asian girl I take to Bastide will be picked up in a helicopter. That's right you Olive Garden-dining, Subaru drivers: I will arrive at the restaurant in a fucking helicopter.
Private jets have become child's play, because you get out and get in the limo, and then drink champagn while the poor drives you. Helicopters represent a whole new era of prestige, one that even I have not looked into as thoroughly as you fuckers scour the buffet line for a stray king crab leg. Apparently I need to locate a helipad near the restaurant. I assume my loyal man-servant, Alfred, will be able to achieve this promptly.
The more difficult question, and the one I request you assistance in addressing, involves how to dress. Typically, I Rock the Croc- one lime green, one pink, collars up. Way up. But if I'm arriving in a fucking helicopter, I may need some extreme gear. Like a polo with a retractible collar that folds down automatically so that the spinning blades on the helicopter won't cause the collar to flap against my face. I considered going with a suit (Brioni, obviously), but felt that this is too similar to how you loser-strivers look on the first day of law school (because you've always been around proles and will wear your "Sunday best," as you call it, to any non-Burger King-related event).
So my question is this: do any of you have experience with picking up girls in helicopters? I'd ask my Father but he would ridicule me for not knowing this already. He already things biglaw attorneys are monkies.
Prestigiously yours, 174 |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:25 PM Author: Marvelous codepig lay sorry asian women arne't prestigious. you clearly can't score white women. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626209) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:25 PM Author: Pale cerebral school cafeteria legend I found this slightly amusing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626210) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:26 PM Author: Motley heaven double fault The spelling errors really detracted from it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626218) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:26 PM Author: Pale cerebral school cafeteria legend I dont thing so. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626221) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:29 PM Author: nudist french chef I could use another secretary...what's your cup size? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626234) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:29 PM Author: Motley heaven double fault 200qq. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626239) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:31 PM Author: cerise whorehouse agreed. see below. |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:25 PM Author: exhilarant salmon queen of the night menage You sound like you're clean and articulate. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626214) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:28 PM Author: Self-centered depressive university On the plus side, you could utilize the enormous helicopter blades to trim down the tremendous growth of hair on the back of your neck. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626228) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:30 PM Author: judgmental really tough guy or on the back of his lady friend's neck (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626245) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:34 PM Author: Floppy Reading Party it's "monkees" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626271) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:35 PM Author: purple misanthropic community account it's monk*eys* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626280) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:35 PM Author: stirring shivering house Isn't it better to keep things understated on the first date? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626281) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:40 PM Author: nudist french chef It's only a helicopter. It's not like I'm picking her up in a spaceship or something. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626311) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 11:39 PM Author: primrose crackhouse I'm really impressed by your recent work on the whole, but this comment struck me a bit negatively: "you get out and get in the limo, and then drink champagn while the poor drives you." Surely you know always to be gracious to those who serve you. Your enemies' help-- excluding their seconds, who must be honored; this you should know in case you've taken up the thrilling hobby of dueling-- you may call poors poors, but not your own.
My advice would be:
1. Name your helicopter "MODELS 'N' BOTTLES", a title which should be featured prominently in bold black letters, both sides.
2. Look for analyst-level investment bankers who are at bars with their douchebag male co-workers. Most of the men will be middle-class striver-fucks who have only been "ballers" for a few months. (The women will be too, but you're not thinking marriage.) Point out obvious flaws in the male bankers' pedigree and dress. If any are wearing casual, pop their collars for them.
3. Wear a beanie upon approach. You'll be seen, at first, as a dork, but if you say "I have one of these" while spinning the rotator, the smart women will get the hint and come to you. The stupid ones will think you mean a garbage disposal rather than a helicopter, and flock to you as well for a slightly different reason.
4. If you happen to find suitable marriage material, have your advisor (or your father's, if you haven't your own yet) find out if she's on the Register and look into her history. After this, proceed with the marriage negotiations. Obviously, you should allow your advisor to negotiate the dowry; if you get involved, it'll seem crass. |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 11:35 AM Author: sooty comical boistinker locus omg killself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7721915) |
Date: February 18th, 2007 6:31 PM Author: cerise whorehouse "champaign"
[...]
"monkies"
wow...two very unpreftigious spelling errors.
I did, however, get a great chuckle out of your latest YTMND, particularly your commentary that you "pop [your]collar like Count Chocula, bitchez!"
classic. |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:32 PM Author: Marvelous codepig lay link for the ytmnd? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626255) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:34 PM Author: cerise whorehouse http://xo7.ytmnd.com/
EDIT: pretty hilarious, actually. i'm no 174 troll, but the OK Computer-like voiceover makes me laugh heartily. |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 11:47 PM Author: primrose crackhouse At first I was underwhelmed by xo7, because there was no sound and I thought the ytmnds were slipping, but then I realized that my computer's sound was off, and my rating jumped from a 169 to a 179. I want to hear more of these TTS (text-to-speech) announcements. TTS is prestigious. It is an antonym of the infamous three-letter acronym that is, alphabetically speaking, very close to it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7628059) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:33 PM Author: nudist french chef TY.
The thing with spelling errors is this: I have people who spell things correctly so that I don't have to. My time is worth several hundred dollars per hour (which is low, actually, but that's what the firm has decided it can charge people). I am, therefore, much too elite and expensive to be bothered with spellcheck, especially as many TTT proles (like black keys) could do it for me. |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:33 PM Author: judgmental really tough guy his spelling errors are prestigouis (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626264) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:36 PM Author: honey-headed wild alpha parlor Don't forget the grammar fuck-ups:
Olive Garden-dining, Subaru -> Olive Garden-dining Subaru
Father -> father |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:37 PM Author: nudist french chef Let's not forget the grammar mistakes! This is, after all, an internet message board.
and father was capitalized on purpose, because I want to pay homage to the elite individual who will subsidize me well into my 40's. |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:39 PM Author: judgmental really tough guy stop trying so hard you poor asian faggot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626299) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:40 PM Author: Self-centered depressive university Asians dont have shrubbery growing from their necks. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626309) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:48 PM Author: judgmental really tough guy so 174 is persian? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626362) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:42 PM Author: nudist french chef You aren't even in law school, and probably have a net worth less than the value of my watch. Hahaha, go eat some microwaved pizza you impoverished dullard. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626319) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:48 PM Author: judgmental really tough guy microwaved pizza isn't that bad (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626368) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:52 PM Author: nudist french chef You're a fucking poor. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626392) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:18 PM Author: judgmental really tough guy because i eat pizza? wtf? is this guy serious? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626569) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 9:42 PM Author: Boyish puce toilet seat Yes. Completely. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7627368) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:38 PM Author: lavender antidepressant drug what is the most prestigious type of underwear? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626294) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 11:20 PM Author: honey-headed wild alpha parlor Magical Mormon underwear. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7627934) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:39 PM Author: rose center mood how much $$$ does it cost to pull that off? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626296) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:39 PM Author: Motley heaven double fault I'd say it takes BIGWELLSFARGOIBANKING money. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626302) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:05 PM Author: rose center mood sweet (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626480) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:48 PM Author: transparent wonderful trailer park awesome idea, bro. i would recommend that you rock a brand new polo (i always do anyway... in fact, i usually buy three and throw two of them away). If it is a crisp, new collar, its integrity should be able to withstand the wind from the helicopter... alternatively, you could just lower the collar (these are, after all, extreme circumstances) and upon arrival to the restaurant, have your date pop your collar for you. This may be beneficial in other ways, as forcing a chick to pop your collar is an excellent way of asserting dominance. hth, good luck bro. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626364) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:51 PM Author: nudist french chef This is great advice- I'm glad you showed up, because the poors were ruining this thread. Notice all the secretaries who post here- no spelling error is left undisturbed.
Anyway, good advice- but I think the trend at the very elite restaurants is to have people come around to the table and pop the collars for you.*
*Note to daft secretaries: I typed "collars" on purpose. It was no typo. It is plural because the truly elite are NEVER caught outside wearing less than two polos. |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:00 PM Author: transparent wonderful trailer park " I think the trend at the very elite restaurants is to have people come around to the table and pop the collars for you."
ahhh yes, i encountered this when i was at an extremely elite restaurant (i was slumming it, my date was a dumb new money poor, hardly worth taking to the really elite places i frequent with my fiancee).. while the complimentary collar popping service is intriguing, I'm not sure I trust some useless poor waiter with my polo that cost what he makes in a week. perhaps if the collar-popper was a HYP grad, i'd allow him to handle my collar (after seeing his degree, of course). |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:04 PM Author: nudist french chef All fair points, but I would never entrust my collar to a Harvard College graduate. Professional or graduate school is different, of course, but Harvard men frequently have the boorish manners of striver-poors who studied too hard for the SAT. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626476) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:10 PM Author: stirring shivering house That's only true of the more recent graduates. I've met many good Harvard men who graduated back in the '50s. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626508) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:21 PM Author: nudist french chef Sure, but how can an 80 year old man be expected to pop my collar? He won't be able to lift up the fine mesh shelf of a new Lacoste without calling in a forklift. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626591) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 9:39 PM Author: bonkers death wish Lacoste? And you call yourself prestigious? lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7627350) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 9:49 PM Author: bonkers death wish Clearly, you are a striver. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7627404) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 10:05 PM Author: Sienna Bull Headed Nowag Have you never heard of shtick? You people are so fucking stupid. 174 is a fictional character, and pretty funny. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7627510) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 10:27 PM Author: bonkers death wish Problem is that is shtick is not very good. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7627631) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:15 PM Author: transparent wonderful trailer park yeah good point. although, if the restaurant was truly elite, when hiring collar-poppers, the interview would include questions concerning real estate in the french riviera, equestrian clubs, elite boarding schools, and yachting competitions.... this should rule out any harvard college strivers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626554) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:22 PM Author: nudist french chef Fair point. Any suggestions on the most prestigious helipads in LA? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626597) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:54 PM Author: azure insecure windowlicker Date: February 18th, 2007 6:23 PM Author: 174 (Destroyer of lives)
This thread is to alert you of a new way I'm going to ball. The next coke-addicted Asian girl I take to Bastide will be picked up in a helicopter. That's right you Olive Garden-dining, Subaru drivers: I will arrive at the restaurant in a fucking helicopter.
Private jets have become child's play, because you get out and get in the limo, and then drink champagn while the poor drives you. Helicopters represent a whole new era of prestige, one that even I have not looked into as thoroughly as you fuckers scour the buffet line for a stray king crab leg. Apparently I need to locate a helipad near the restaurant. I assume my loyal man-servant, Alfred, will be able to achieve this promptly.
The more difficult question, and the one I request you assistance in addressing, involves how to dress. Typically, I Rock the Croc- one lime green, one pink, collars up. Way up. But if I'm arriving in a fucking helicopter, I may need some extreme gear. Like a polo with a retractible collar that folds down automatically so that the spinning blades on the helicopter won't cause the collar to flap against my face. I considered going with a suit (Brioni, obviously), but felt that this is too similar to how you loser-strivers look on the first day of law school (because you've always been around proles and will wear your "Sunday best," as you call it, to any non-Burger King-related event).
So my question is this: do any of you have experience with picking up girls in helicopters? I'd ask my Father but he would ridicule me for not knowing this already. He already things biglaw attorneys are monkies.
Prestigiously yours,
174 |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:02 PM Author: Bateful rehab I think the whole idea of plagarizing is to make the reader think that the work is your own. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626453) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 11:42 AM Author: Alcoholic Supple Location Subject: You lifted this Totally from Paul Fussell's Class that is a book i recommend everyone on autoadmit read (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7721928) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 11:48 AM Author: aromatic vengeful coffee pot Link? Post the passage. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7721936) |