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Proper etiquette: picking up girl in helicopter [174]
Poast new message in this thread
Date: February 18th, 2007 6:23 PM Author: Navy site useless brakes This thread is to alert you of a new way I'm going to ball. The next coke-addicted Asian girl I take to Bastide will be picked up in a helicopter. That's right you Olive Garden-dining, Subaru drivers: I will arrive at the restaurant in a fucking helicopter.
Private jets have become child's play, because you get out and get in the limo, and then drink champagn while the poor drives you. Helicopters represent a whole new era of prestige, one that even I have not looked into as thoroughly as you fuckers scour the buffet line for a stray king crab leg. Apparently I need to locate a helipad near the restaurant. I assume my loyal man-servant, Alfred, will be able to achieve this promptly.
The more difficult question, and the one I request you assistance in addressing, involves how to dress. Typically, I Rock the Croc- one lime green, one pink, collars up. Way up. But if I'm arriving in a fucking helicopter, I may need some extreme gear. Like a polo with a retractible collar that folds down automatically so that the spinning blades on the helicopter won't cause the collar to flap against my face. I considered going with a suit (Brioni, obviously), but felt that this is too similar to how you loser-strivers look on the first day of law school (because you've always been around proles and will wear your "Sunday best," as you call it, to any non-Burger King-related event).
So my question is this: do any of you have experience with picking up girls in helicopters? I'd ask my Father but he would ridicule me for not knowing this already. He already things biglaw attorneys are monkies.
Prestigiously yours, 174 |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:25 PM Author: Embarrassed to the bone stubborn parlour sorry asian women arne't prestigious. you clearly can't score white women. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626209) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:25 PM Author: 180 Legend I found this slightly amusing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626210) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:26 PM Author: geriatric den The spelling errors really detracted from it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626218) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:26 PM Author: 180 Legend I dont thing so. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626221) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:29 PM Author: Navy site useless brakes I could use another secretary...what's your cup size? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626234) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:29 PM Author: geriatric den 200qq. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626239) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:31 PM Author: violent mahogany water buffalo hissy fit agreed. see below. |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:25 PM Author: puce foreskin hominid You sound like you're clean and articulate. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626214) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:28 PM Author: heady judgmental heaven On the plus side, you could utilize the enormous helicopter blades to trim down the tremendous growth of hair on the back of your neck. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626228) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:30 PM Author: Fishy dopamine or on the back of his lady friend's neck (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626245) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:34 PM Author: spruce rehab police squad it's "monkees" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626271) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:35 PM Author: ungodly azure field patrolman it's monk*eys* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626280) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:35 PM Author: Razzle Library Preventive Strike Isn't it better to keep things understated on the first date? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626281) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:40 PM Author: Navy site useless brakes It's only a helicopter. It's not like I'm picking her up in a spaceship or something. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626311) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 11:39 PM Author: dark diverse puppy I'm really impressed by your recent work on the whole, but this comment struck me a bit negatively: "you get out and get in the limo, and then drink champagn while the poor drives you." Surely you know always to be gracious to those who serve you. Your enemies' help-- excluding their seconds, who must be honored; this you should know in case you've taken up the thrilling hobby of dueling-- you may call poors poors, but not your own.
My advice would be:
1. Name your helicopter "MODELS 'N' BOTTLES", a title which should be featured prominently in bold black letters, both sides.
2. Look for analyst-level investment bankers who are at bars with their douchebag male co-workers. Most of the men will be middle-class striver-fucks who have only been "ballers" for a few months. (The women will be too, but you're not thinking marriage.) Point out obvious flaws in the male bankers' pedigree and dress. If any are wearing casual, pop their collars for them.
3. Wear a beanie upon approach. You'll be seen, at first, as a dork, but if you say "I have one of these" while spinning the rotator, the smart women will get the hint and come to you. The stupid ones will think you mean a garbage disposal rather than a helicopter, and flock to you as well for a slightly different reason.
4. If you happen to find suitable marriage material, have your advisor (or your father's, if you haven't your own yet) find out if she's on the Register and look into her history. After this, proceed with the marriage negotiations. Obviously, you should allow your advisor to negotiate the dowry; if you get involved, it'll seem crass. |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 11:35 AM Author: nudist chestnut area place of business omg killself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7721915) |
Date: February 18th, 2007 6:31 PM Author: violent mahogany water buffalo hissy fit "champaign"
[...]
"monkies"
wow...two very unpreftigious spelling errors.
I did, however, get a great chuckle out of your latest YTMND, particularly your commentary that you "pop [your]collar like Count Chocula, bitchez!"
classic. |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:32 PM Author: Embarrassed to the bone stubborn parlour link for the ytmnd? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626255) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:34 PM Author: violent mahogany water buffalo hissy fit http://xo7.ytmnd.com/
EDIT: pretty hilarious, actually. i'm no 174 troll, but the OK Computer-like voiceover makes me laugh heartily. |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 11:47 PM Author: dark diverse puppy At first I was underwhelmed by xo7, because there was no sound and I thought the ytmnds were slipping, but then I realized that my computer's sound was off, and my rating jumped from a 169 to a 179. I want to hear more of these TTS (text-to-speech) announcements. TTS is prestigious. It is an antonym of the infamous three-letter acronym that is, alphabetically speaking, very close to it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7628059) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:33 PM Author: Navy site useless brakes TY.
The thing with spelling errors is this: I have people who spell things correctly so that I don't have to. My time is worth several hundred dollars per hour (which is low, actually, but that's what the firm has decided it can charge people). I am, therefore, much too elite and expensive to be bothered with spellcheck, especially as many TTT proles (like black keys) could do it for me. |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:33 PM Author: Fishy dopamine his spelling errors are prestigouis (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626264) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:36 PM Author: stimulating doobsian church building mental disorder Don't forget the grammar fuck-ups:
Olive Garden-dining, Subaru -> Olive Garden-dining Subaru
Father -> father |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:37 PM Author: Navy site useless brakes Let's not forget the grammar mistakes! This is, after all, an internet message board.
and father was capitalized on purpose, because I want to pay homage to the elite individual who will subsidize me well into my 40's. |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:39 PM Author: Fishy dopamine stop trying so hard you poor asian faggot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626299) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:40 PM Author: heady judgmental heaven Asians dont have shrubbery growing from their necks. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626309) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:48 PM Author: Fishy dopamine so 174 is persian? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626362) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:42 PM Author: Navy site useless brakes You aren't even in law school, and probably have a net worth less than the value of my watch. Hahaha, go eat some microwaved pizza you impoverished dullard. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626319) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:48 PM Author: Fishy dopamine microwaved pizza isn't that bad (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626368) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:52 PM Author: Navy site useless brakes You're a fucking poor. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626392) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:18 PM Author: Fishy dopamine because i eat pizza? wtf? is this guy serious? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626569) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 9:42 PM Author: Glittery Ocher Home Internal Respiration Yes. Completely. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7627368) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:38 PM Author: Big tattoo antidepressant drug what is the most prestigious type of underwear? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626294) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 11:20 PM Author: stimulating doobsian church building mental disorder Magical Mormon underwear. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7627934) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:39 PM Author: electric ticket booth how much $$$ does it cost to pull that off? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626296) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:39 PM Author: geriatric den I'd say it takes BIGWELLSFARGOIBANKING money. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626302) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:05 PM Author: electric ticket booth sweet (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626480) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:48 PM Author: Crusty newt awesome idea, bro. i would recommend that you rock a brand new polo (i always do anyway... in fact, i usually buy three and throw two of them away). If it is a crisp, new collar, its integrity should be able to withstand the wind from the helicopter... alternatively, you could just lower the collar (these are, after all, extreme circumstances) and upon arrival to the restaurant, have your date pop your collar for you. This may be beneficial in other ways, as forcing a chick to pop your collar is an excellent way of asserting dominance. hth, good luck bro. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626364) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:51 PM Author: Navy site useless brakes This is great advice- I'm glad you showed up, because the poors were ruining this thread. Notice all the secretaries who post here- no spelling error is left undisturbed.
Anyway, good advice- but I think the trend at the very elite restaurants is to have people come around to the table and pop the collars for you.*
*Note to daft secretaries: I typed "collars" on purpose. It was no typo. It is plural because the truly elite are NEVER caught outside wearing less than two polos. |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:00 PM Author: Crusty newt " I think the trend at the very elite restaurants is to have people come around to the table and pop the collars for you."
ahhh yes, i encountered this when i was at an extremely elite restaurant (i was slumming it, my date was a dumb new money poor, hardly worth taking to the really elite places i frequent with my fiancee).. while the complimentary collar popping service is intriguing, I'm not sure I trust some useless poor waiter with my polo that cost what he makes in a week. perhaps if the collar-popper was a HYP grad, i'd allow him to handle my collar (after seeing his degree, of course). |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:04 PM Author: Navy site useless brakes All fair points, but I would never entrust my collar to a Harvard College graduate. Professional or graduate school is different, of course, but Harvard men frequently have the boorish manners of striver-poors who studied too hard for the SAT. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626476) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:10 PM Author: Razzle Library Preventive Strike That's only true of the more recent graduates. I've met many good Harvard men who graduated back in the '50s. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626508) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:21 PM Author: Navy site useless brakes Sure, but how can an 80 year old man be expected to pop my collar? He won't be able to lift up the fine mesh shelf of a new Lacoste without calling in a forklift. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626591) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 9:39 PM Author: Exciting Kitchen Lacoste? And you call yourself prestigious? lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7627350) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 9:49 PM Author: Exciting Kitchen Clearly, you are a striver. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7627404) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 10:05 PM Author: Bronze Pisswyrm Tank Have you never heard of shtick? You people are so fucking stupid. 174 is a fictional character, and pretty funny. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7627510) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 10:27 PM Author: Exciting Kitchen Problem is that is shtick is not very good. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7627631) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:15 PM Author: Crusty newt yeah good point. although, if the restaurant was truly elite, when hiring collar-poppers, the interview would include questions concerning real estate in the french riviera, equestrian clubs, elite boarding schools, and yachting competitions.... this should rule out any harvard college strivers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626554) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:22 PM Author: Navy site useless brakes Fair point. Any suggestions on the most prestigious helipads in LA? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626597) |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 6:54 PM Author: soggy coffee pot bbw Date: February 18th, 2007 6:23 PM Author: 174 (Destroyer of lives)
This thread is to alert you of a new way I'm going to ball. The next coke-addicted Asian girl I take to Bastide will be picked up in a helicopter. That's right you Olive Garden-dining, Subaru drivers: I will arrive at the restaurant in a fucking helicopter.
Private jets have become child's play, because you get out and get in the limo, and then drink champagn while the poor drives you. Helicopters represent a whole new era of prestige, one that even I have not looked into as thoroughly as you fuckers scour the buffet line for a stray king crab leg. Apparently I need to locate a helipad near the restaurant. I assume my loyal man-servant, Alfred, will be able to achieve this promptly.
The more difficult question, and the one I request you assistance in addressing, involves how to dress. Typically, I Rock the Croc- one lime green, one pink, collars up. Way up. But if I'm arriving in a fucking helicopter, I may need some extreme gear. Like a polo with a retractible collar that folds down automatically so that the spinning blades on the helicopter won't cause the collar to flap against my face. I considered going with a suit (Brioni, obviously), but felt that this is too similar to how you loser-strivers look on the first day of law school (because you've always been around proles and will wear your "Sunday best," as you call it, to any non-Burger King-related event).
So my question is this: do any of you have experience with picking up girls in helicopters? I'd ask my Father but he would ridicule me for not knowing this already. He already things biglaw attorneys are monkies.
Prestigiously yours,
174 |
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Date: February 18th, 2007 7:02 PM Author: slate range I think the whole idea of plagarizing is to make the reader think that the work is your own. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626453) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 11:42 AM Author: autistic forum masturbator Subject: You lifted this Totally from Paul Fussell's Class that is a book i recommend everyone on autoadmit read (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7721928) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 11:48 AM Author: amethyst provocative fat ankles hall Link? Post the passage. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7721936) |