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BAM! You are a rapist. How do you gear up to go a-rapin'?
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Date: May 21st, 2007 5:24 PM Author: Adventurous Range Fanboi I'd be very well-prepared. I'd start by wearing Dragon Skin SOV-3000 Level IV body armor, in case anyone shoots at me. I'd wear a modified balaclava over my face and hair, to prevent DNA evidence from escaping from my head, combined with a ballistic faceplace and eyeguard to defend from possible strikes or gunshots to my face.
I'd wear Level III armor along the crotch, along with a ballguard that protects from kicking or grabbing attempts. I'd wear armor on the shins and along my forearms - both of which are vulnerable bones. My feet would be protected by heavy steel-toed jackboots with armor swaddling around the ankles. My neck and armpits would be armored up.
I would of course wear ballistic gloves. Everything I wear would be sprayed with a flame-retardant solution, in case my victim tried to ignite me. My outerwear would be one of those anti-taser jackets, so that I could be continuously shocked by multiple tasers with no ill effects. I'd probably slap on a gas mask to ward off chemical spraying attempts.
My OFFENSIVE weaponry would consist of a canister of bear spray, a police nightstick, a .45 ACP semiautomatic with an extra clip as well as a .38 revolver in case the semiauto hopelessly jams. I'd also have a taser, a serrated dagger, and a flare for shock effect. I'd carry lube and condoms. Finally, I'd have a finger-sized lubed probe to tease out Rapex-style devices before plunging in there. Pubes would be waxed.
It would take several weeks of training in this whole getup - running, rolling, driving, etc. - to get comfortable with it.
But once I was comfortable with it, I'd be a RAPIN' MACHINE.
How would you dudes prepare to go a-rapin'?
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Date: May 21st, 2007 5:28 PM Author: razzle cuck Frog went a rapin' and he did ride, uh-huh Frog went a rapin' and he did ride, uh-huh Frog went a rapin' and he did ride With a sword and a pistol by his side, uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
He rode right up to Miss Mousie's door, uh-huh He rode right up to Miss Mousie's door, uh-huh He rode right up to Miss Mousie's door Gave three loud raps, and a very big roar, uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
Said Miss Mouse, are you within, uh-huh Said Miss Mouse, are you within, uh-huh Said Miss Mouse, are you within Miss Mousie said, I sit and spin, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Took Miss Mousie on his knee, uh-huh Took Miss Mousie on his knee, uh-huh Took Miss Mousie on his knee, Said Miss Mousie, will you fuck me, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Without my Uncle Rat's consent, uh-huh Without my Uncle Rat's consent, uh-huh Without my Uncle Rat's consent, I wouldn't fuck the President, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Uncle Rat laughed, and he shook his fat sides, uh-huh Uncle Rat laughed, and he shook his fat sides, uh-huh Uncle Rat laughed, and he shook his fat sides To think his niece would be a defiled, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Uncle Rat went running downtown, uh-huh Uncle Rat went running downtown, uh-huh Uncle Rat went running downtown To buy his niece a raping gown, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Where shall the raping supper be, uh-huh Where shall the raping supper be, uh-huh Where shall the raping supper be Way down yonder in the hollow tree, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
What shall the raping supper be, uh-huh What shall the raping supper be, uh-huh What shall the raping supper be Fried mosquito and a black-eyed pea, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
First to come in was a flyin' moth, uh-huh First to come in was a flyin' moth, uh-huh First to come in was a flyin' moth She layed out the table cloth, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Next to come in was a juney bug, uh-huh Next to come in was a juney bug, uh-huh Next to come in was a juney bug She brought in the water jug, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Next to come in was a bumbly bee, uh-huh Next to come in was a bumbly bee, uh-huh Next to come in was a bumbly bee Sat mosquito on his knee, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Next to come in was a broken back flea, uh-huh Next to come in was a broken back flea, uh-huh Next to come in was a broken back flea Danced a jig with the bumbly bee, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Next to come in was Mrs. Cow, uh-huh Next to come in was Mrs. Cow, uh-huh Next to come in was Mrs. Cow She tried to dance but she didn't know how, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Next to come in was a little black tick, uh-huh Next to come in was a little black tick, uh-huh Next to come in was a little black tick She ate so much it made her sick, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Next to come in was the big black snake, uh-huh Next to come in was the big black snake, uh-huh Next to come in was the big black snake Ate up all of the wedding cake, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Next to come in was the old gray cat, uh-huh Next to come in was the old gray cat, uh-huh Next to come in was the old gray cat Swallowed the mouse and ate up the rat, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Mr.Frog went a-hoppin up over the brooke, uh-huh Mr.Frog went a-hoppin up over the brooke, uh-huh Mr.Frog went a-hoppin up over the brooke A lily white dove came and swallowed him up, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Little piece of corn bread layin' on the shelf, uh-huh Little piece of corn bread layin' on the shelf, uh-huh Little piece of corn bread layin' on the shelf If you want anymore you can sing it yourself, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh |
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Date: May 21st, 2007 5:36 PM Author: Adventurous Range Fanboi Fascinating take on an old classic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149377) |
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Date: May 21st, 2007 5:28 PM Author: Adventurous Range Fanboi Also, I'd carry a cellphone jamming device with me to thwart calls made within a 30-yard radius. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149340) |
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Date: May 21st, 2007 5:28 PM Author: lascivious mental disorder rehab Relaxing wise? See some good movies. Go to the park/beach. You should probably do some exercise because 1L year can be physical as much as mental.
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Date: May 21st, 2007 8:02 PM Author: grizzly trip den knife bear spray? how big a hoss you trying to rape? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149962) |
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Date: May 21st, 2007 9:38 PM Author: Stirring sick locale son of senegal I think you'd just crush a bitch. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8150385) |
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Date: November 7th, 2007 4:05 PM Author: bossy duck-like pocket flask this is awesome. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8865669) |
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Date: November 7th, 2007 4:13 PM Author: Talented Stead Azn Feather boa for flare. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8865713) |
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Date: February 3rd, 2008 6:18 PM Author: Talented Stead Azn "How would you dudes prepare to go a-rapin'?"
Shave my body hair and get drunk. |
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Date: November 12th, 2008 1:39 PM Author: yapping cerebral meetinghouse This line had me lollerskating all over:
"so that I could be continuously shocked by multiple tasers with no ill effects." |
Date: May 21st, 2007 5:34 PM Author: bespoke plum location main people Shave everything. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149369) |
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Date: May 21st, 2007 7:52 PM Author: slap-happy swashbuckling senate chloroform and a taser (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149921) |
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Date: May 21st, 2007 10:19 PM Author: Stirring sick locale son of senegal Exactly, I don't know what kind of street-brawl raping Petro is imagining. The primary objective should be restraint and conveyance to an appropriate location. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8150652) |
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Date: May 21st, 2007 8:11 PM Author: Chocolate appetizing roast beef Why not just buy her a drink? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149987) |
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Date: May 21st, 2007 8:18 PM Author: Dull Sanctuary http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU5NkuCiOUA (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8150013) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 10:50 AM Author: excitant idea he suggested don't tase me bro (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666439) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 10:52 AM Author: aromatic nighttime tanning salon Underrated gem. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666444) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 11:22 AM Author: Exhilarant embarrassed to the bone really tough guy How are you going to get the condom on while holding her down? You can't put it on beforehand because you have to be hard. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666541) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 11:24 AM Author: Chocolate appetizing roast beef I prefer death. Can I choose to be killed instead?
If this shit ever happened to me, I would make sure I wasn't alive to see the next day. |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 1:22 PM Author: spectacular sneaky criminal abode We studied that in crim law. You can't consent to being murdered. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666942) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 2:39 PM Author: flickering casino It doesn't matter if you prefer death, as I prefer rape. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8667180) |
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Date: November 7th, 2007 3:58 PM Author: flickering casino Good you filthy whore (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8865637) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 11:30 AM Author: pontificating racy theater haunted graveyard 180 This made me laugh |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 11:45 AM Author: spectacular sneaky criminal abode Crazy fuck (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666588) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 1:04 PM Author: abnormal hall ratface ah just beautiful (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666881) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 1:13 PM Author: abnormal hall ratface Bust into the room guns blazin
i'd be rockin two cougar magnums locked and loaded and of course a bandana over my face like a wild west cowboy
instead of worrying about the DNA backlash id just shoot her and dump her body in gary, indiana |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 1:17 PM Author: bateful confused stage stock car I grab a book of bedtime stories and a bottle of KY, then knock on my daughter's door. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666927) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 1:21 PM Author: spectacular sneaky criminal abode BAM! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666939) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 1:24 PM Author: bateful confused stage stock car 181 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666949) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 1:25 PM Author: brass stage I'd bring a rape kit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666952) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 2:38 PM Author: unhinged electric heaven What kind of car would you drive? An armored 1988 Astrovan? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8667173) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 2:41 PM Author: flickering casino Why armored? Most people would probably applaud his actions, not try to stop him. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8667183) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 2:43 PM Author: unhinged electric heaven so why would he require the SWAT gear? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8667185) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 2:44 PM Author: flickering casino To prevent her from gouging his eyes and whatnot, I assumed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8667189) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 2:46 PM Author: pontificating racy theater haunted graveyard Don't forget this, "Level III armor along the crotch, along with a ballguard that protects from kicking or grabbing attempts" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8667194) |
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Date: September 20th, 2007 2:48 PM Author: flickering casino I thought it would have been funnier if he had said "codpiece" instead of "ballguard." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8667203) |
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Date: November 7th, 2007 4:01 PM Author: galvanic mad cow disease coffee pot http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHWS0H2JqSU
give it to about 16 seconds in. |
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Date: November 15th, 2007 3:15 PM Author: bateful confused stage stock car LULZ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8898792) |
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Date: November 21st, 2007 10:36 AM Author: bateful confused stage stock car Double LULZ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8921581) |
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Date: November 21st, 2007 10:41 AM Author: Adventurous Range Fanboi If American troops in Iraq wore the getup described above, fewer of them would be dead today. They'd be walking fortresses. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8921585) |
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Date: February 26th, 2008 12:07 PM Author: flickering casino Why gear up? Most women want it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#9390116) |
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Date: February 26th, 2008 12:07 PM Author: apoplectic library kitty cat In the usual course of things, the man will resist entry. His masculine pride on the line, he doesn't want to be placed in a feminine role. However, properly applied force will change his belief system. First, ensure that your cock is rock hard. Second, apply ample lube both on his ass crack and at least one inch inside his anal cavity. A rigid finger can easily overcome any resistance created by his clenching. Now comes the challenging part, when your cock, by the sheer strength of its hardness, has to overcome his strenuously rigid anal muscles. Have no doubt, he firmly believes that he will be able to resist you with this method. But he won't. Simply place your amply lubed black cock square on the entrance of his hole. This is no easy task as you need to verify the hole's location in situations where his ass crack is hairy. Once properly situated, punch him with all your force in the back of the head. Wait a few seconds for his stress/shock induced clenching to cease and start pushing. You should be able to pop the head in. At this point he will be screaming in pain, and you should remind him that continued resistance will only cause permanent injury to his anal cavity. Continuing to adequate lubricate your phallus, push in slowly on your way to lovemaking.
http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=773817&mc=38&forum_id=2 |
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Date: February 28th, 2008 10:09 AM Author: excitant idea he suggested cock pushups? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#9400287) |
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Date: March 17th, 2008 11:45 PM Author: peach titillating step-uncle's house windowlicker i've read this thread before, and i STILL spit out my drink laughing when i saw it again today. i think it's the "a'rapin" part, you can imagine petro whistling while he pulls on his black gloves and mask (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#9492229) |
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Date: June 9th, 2008 6:45 PM Author: Bull headed comical station milk Saw Iron Man recently and thought of this thread when he first constructs the armor in the desert. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#9874101) |
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Date: September 30th, 2008 1:35 PM Author: Doobsian dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#10214454) |
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Date: November 12th, 2008 1:23 PM Author: excitant idea he suggested (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#10354924) |