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BAM! You are a rapist. How do you gear up to go a-rapin'?

I'd be very well-prepared. I'd start by wearing Dragon Skin...
Copper Feces
  05/21/07
Frog went a rapin' and he did ride, uh-huh Frog went a rapi...
Heady maroon cruise ship mexican
  05/21/07
Fascinating take on an old classic.
Copper Feces
  05/21/07
Also, I'd carry a cellphone jamming device with me to thwart...
Copper Feces
  05/21/07
Relaxing wise? See some good movies. Go to the park/beach. Y...
lilac antidepressant drug
  05/21/07
bear spray? how big a hoss you trying to rape?
Anal tattoo
  05/21/07
I think you'd just crush a bitch.
Sepia alpha
  05/21/07
this is awesome.
supple doobsian parlor
  11/07/07
Feather boa for flare.
splenetic puce keepsake machete foreskin
  11/07/07
"How would you dudes prepare to go a-rapin'?" S...
splenetic puce keepsake machete foreskin
  02/03/08
This line had me lollerskating all over: "so that I ...
Multi-colored box office party of the first part
  11/12/08
Shave everything.
Primrose heaven circlehead
  05/21/07
chloroform and a taser
gaped lime church building psychic
  05/21/07
Exactly, I don't know what kind of street-brawl raping Petro...
Sepia alpha
  05/21/07
Why not just buy her a drink?
Crystalline seedy hell
  05/21/07
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU5NkuCiOUA
Impressive racy ticket booth striped hyena
  05/21/07
don't tase me bro
twinkling cheese-eating codepig theatre
  09/20/07
Underrated gem.
Pearly Cowardly Wrinkle Background Story
  09/20/07
How are you going to get the condom on while holding her dow...
lascivious purple dingle berry nursing home
  09/20/07
I prefer death. Can I choose to be killed instead? If th...
Crystalline seedy hell
  09/20/07
We studied that in crim law. You can't consent to being mur...
irradiated pea-brained boltzmann native
  09/20/07
It doesn't matter if you prefer death, as I prefer rape.
stirring aggressive center kitty
  09/20/07
Good you filthy whore
stirring aggressive center kitty
  11/07/07
180 This made me laugh
wild set son of senegal
  09/20/07
Crazy fuck
irradiated pea-brained boltzmann native
  09/20/07
ah just beautiful
Nubile milky institution double fault
  09/20/07
Bust into the room guns blazin i'd be rockin two cougar m...
Nubile milky institution double fault
  09/20/07
I grab a book of bedtime stories and a bottle of KY, then kn...
Self-centered walnut bawdyhouse
  09/20/07
BAM!
irradiated pea-brained boltzmann native
  09/20/07
181
Self-centered walnut bawdyhouse
  09/20/07
I'd bring a rape kit
ruby meetinghouse friendly grandma
  09/20/07
What kind of car would you drive? An armored 1988 Astrovan?
trip violent orchestra pit
  09/20/07
Why armored? Most people would probably applaud his actions...
stirring aggressive center kitty
  09/20/07
so why would he require the SWAT gear?
trip violent orchestra pit
  09/20/07
To prevent her from gouging his eyes and whatnot, I assumed.
stirring aggressive center kitty
  09/20/07
Don't forget this, "Level III armor along the crotch, a...
wild set son of senegal
  09/20/07
I thought it would have been funnier if he had said "co...
stirring aggressive center kitty
  09/20/07
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHWS0H2JqSU give it to abo...
Bright Boyish Temple Goyim
  11/07/07
LULZ
Self-centered walnut bawdyhouse
  11/15/07
Double LULZ
Self-centered walnut bawdyhouse
  11/21/07
If American troops in Iraq wore the getup described above, f...
Copper Feces
  11/21/07
Why gear up? Most women want it.
stirring aggressive center kitty
  02/26/08
In the usual course of things, the man will resist entry. Hi...
comical ruddy french chef
  02/26/08
cock pushups?
twinkling cheese-eating codepig theatre
  02/28/08
good bump
supple doobsian parlor
  02/28/08
...
supple doobsian parlor
  03/17/08
please post at www.iblamethepatriarchy.com
cerise stage
  03/17/08
i've read this thread before, and i STILL spit out my drink ...
razzmatazz mahogany property
  03/17/08
Saw Iron Man recently and thought of this thread when he fir...
bearded casino faggot firefighter
  06/09/08
...
floppy senate
  09/30/08
...
twinkling cheese-eating codepig theatre
  11/12/08


Poast new message in this thread





Date: May 21st, 2007 5:24 PM
Author: Copper Feces

I'd be very well-prepared. I'd start by wearing Dragon Skin SOV-3000 Level IV body armor, in case anyone shoots at me. I'd wear a modified balaclava over my face and hair, to prevent DNA evidence from escaping from my head, combined with a ballistic faceplace and eyeguard to defend from possible strikes or gunshots to my face.

I'd wear Level III armor along the crotch, along with a ballguard that protects from kicking or grabbing attempts. I'd wear armor on the shins and along my forearms - both of which are vulnerable bones. My feet would be protected by heavy steel-toed jackboots with armor swaddling around the ankles. My neck and armpits would be armored up.

I would of course wear ballistic gloves. Everything I wear would be sprayed with a flame-retardant solution, in case my victim tried to ignite me. My outerwear would be one of those anti-taser jackets, so that I could be continuously shocked by multiple tasers with no ill effects. I'd probably slap on a gas mask to ward off chemical spraying attempts.

My OFFENSIVE weaponry would consist of a canister of bear spray, a police nightstick, a .45 ACP semiautomatic with an extra clip as well as a .38 revolver in case the semiauto hopelessly jams. I'd also have a taser, a serrated dagger, and a flare for shock effect. I'd carry lube and condoms. Finally, I'd have a finger-sized lubed probe to tease out Rapex-style devices before plunging in there. Pubes would be waxed.

It would take several weeks of training in this whole getup - running, rolling, driving, etc. - to get comfortable with it.

But once I was comfortable with it, I'd be a RAPIN' MACHINE.

How would you dudes prepare to go a-rapin'?



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149320)





Date: May 21st, 2007 5:28 PM
Author: Heady maroon cruise ship mexican

Frog went a rapin' and he did ride, uh-huh

Frog went a rapin' and he did ride, uh-huh

Frog went a rapin' and he did ride

With a sword and a pistol by his side, uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh

He rode right up to Miss Mousie's door, uh-huh

He rode right up to Miss Mousie's door, uh-huh

He rode right up to Miss Mousie's door

Gave three loud raps, and a very big roar, uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh

Said Miss Mouse, are you within, uh-huh

Said Miss Mouse, are you within, uh-huh

Said Miss Mouse, are you within

Miss Mousie said, I sit and spin, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Took Miss Mousie on his knee, uh-huh

Took Miss Mousie on his knee, uh-huh

Took Miss Mousie on his knee,

Said Miss Mousie, will you fuck me, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Without my Uncle Rat's consent, uh-huh

Without my Uncle Rat's consent, uh-huh

Without my Uncle Rat's consent,

I wouldn't fuck the President, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Uncle Rat laughed, and he shook his fat sides, uh-huh

Uncle Rat laughed, and he shook his fat sides, uh-huh

Uncle Rat laughed, and he shook his fat sides

To think his niece would be a defiled, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Uncle Rat went running downtown, uh-huh

Uncle Rat went running downtown, uh-huh

Uncle Rat went running downtown

To buy his niece a raping gown, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Where shall the raping supper be, uh-huh

Where shall the raping supper be, uh-huh

Where shall the raping supper be

Way down yonder in the hollow tree, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

What shall the raping supper be, uh-huh

What shall the raping supper be, uh-huh

What shall the raping supper be

Fried mosquito and a black-eyed pea, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

First to come in was a flyin' moth, uh-huh

First to come in was a flyin' moth, uh-huh

First to come in was a flyin' moth

She layed out the table cloth, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Next to come in was a juney bug, uh-huh

Next to come in was a juney bug, uh-huh

Next to come in was a juney bug

She brought in the water jug, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Next to come in was a bumbly bee, uh-huh

Next to come in was a bumbly bee, uh-huh

Next to come in was a bumbly bee

Sat mosquito on his knee, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Next to come in was a broken back flea, uh-huh

Next to come in was a broken back flea, uh-huh

Next to come in was a broken back flea

Danced a jig with the bumbly bee, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Next to come in was Mrs. Cow, uh-huh

Next to come in was Mrs. Cow, uh-huh

Next to come in was Mrs. Cow

She tried to dance but she didn't know how, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Next to come in was a little black tick, uh-huh

Next to come in was a little black tick, uh-huh

Next to come in was a little black tick

She ate so much it made her sick, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Next to come in was the big black snake, uh-huh

Next to come in was the big black snake, uh-huh

Next to come in was the big black snake

Ate up all of the wedding cake, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Next to come in was the old gray cat, uh-huh

Next to come in was the old gray cat, uh-huh

Next to come in was the old gray cat

Swallowed the mouse and ate up the rat, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Mr.Frog went a-hoppin up over the brooke, uh-huh

Mr.Frog went a-hoppin up over the brooke, uh-huh

Mr.Frog went a-hoppin up over the brooke

A lily white dove came and swallowed him up, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Little piece of corn bread layin' on the shelf, uh-huh

Little piece of corn bread layin' on the shelf, uh-huh

Little piece of corn bread layin' on the shelf

If you want anymore you can sing it yourself, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149337)





Date: May 21st, 2007 5:36 PM
Author: Copper Feces

Fascinating take on an old classic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149377)





Date: May 21st, 2007 5:28 PM
Author: Copper Feces

Also, I'd carry a cellphone jamming device with me to thwart calls made within a 30-yard radius.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149340)





Date: May 21st, 2007 5:28 PM
Author: lilac antidepressant drug

Relaxing wise? See some good movies. Go to the park/beach. You should probably do some exercise because 1L year can be physical as much as mental.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149343)





Date: May 21st, 2007 8:02 PM
Author: Anal tattoo

bear spray? how big a hoss you trying to rape?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149962)





Date: May 21st, 2007 9:38 PM
Author: Sepia alpha

I think you'd just crush a bitch.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8150385)





Date: November 7th, 2007 4:05 PM
Author: supple doobsian parlor

this is awesome.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8865669)





Date: November 7th, 2007 4:13 PM
Author: splenetic puce keepsake machete foreskin

Feather boa for flare.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8865713)





Date: February 3rd, 2008 6:18 PM
Author: splenetic puce keepsake machete foreskin

"How would you dudes prepare to go a-rapin'?"

Shave my body hair and get drunk.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#9264545)





Date: November 12th, 2008 1:39 PM
Author: Multi-colored box office party of the first part

This line had me lollerskating all over:

"so that I could be continuously shocked by multiple tasers with no ill effects."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#10354950)





Date: May 21st, 2007 5:34 PM
Author: Primrose heaven circlehead

Shave everything.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149369)





Date: May 21st, 2007 7:52 PM
Author: gaped lime church building psychic

chloroform and a taser

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149921)





Date: May 21st, 2007 10:19 PM
Author: Sepia alpha

Exactly, I don't know what kind of street-brawl raping Petro is imagining. The primary objective should be restraint and conveyance to an appropriate location.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8150652)





Date: May 21st, 2007 8:11 PM
Author: Crystalline seedy hell

Why not just buy her a drink?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8149987)





Date: May 21st, 2007 8:18 PM
Author: Impressive racy ticket booth striped hyena

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU5NkuCiOUA

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8150013)





Date: September 20th, 2007 10:50 AM
Author: twinkling cheese-eating codepig theatre

don't tase me bro

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666439)





Date: September 20th, 2007 10:52 AM
Author: Pearly Cowardly Wrinkle Background Story

Underrated gem.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666444)





Date: September 20th, 2007 11:22 AM
Author: lascivious purple dingle berry nursing home

How are you going to get the condom on while holding her down? You can't put it on beforehand because you have to be hard.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666541)





Date: September 20th, 2007 11:24 AM
Author: Crystalline seedy hell

I prefer death. Can I choose to be killed instead?

If this shit ever happened to me, I would make sure I wasn't alive to see the next day.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666548)





Date: September 20th, 2007 1:22 PM
Author: irradiated pea-brained boltzmann native

We studied that in crim law. You can't consent to being murdered.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666942)





Date: September 20th, 2007 2:39 PM
Author: stirring aggressive center kitty

It doesn't matter if you prefer death, as I prefer rape.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8667180)





Date: November 7th, 2007 3:58 PM
Author: stirring aggressive center kitty

Good you filthy whore

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8865637)





Date: September 20th, 2007 11:30 AM
Author: wild set son of senegal

180

This made me laugh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666557)





Date: September 20th, 2007 11:45 AM
Author: irradiated pea-brained boltzmann native

Crazy fuck

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666588)





Date: September 20th, 2007 1:04 PM
Author: Nubile milky institution double fault

ah just beautiful

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666881)





Date: September 20th, 2007 1:13 PM
Author: Nubile milky institution double fault

Bust into the room guns blazin

i'd be rockin two cougar magnums locked and loaded and of course a bandana over my face like a wild west cowboy

instead of worrying about the DNA backlash id just shoot her and dump her body in gary, indiana

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666915)





Date: September 20th, 2007 1:17 PM
Author: Self-centered walnut bawdyhouse

I grab a book of bedtime stories and a bottle of KY, then knock on my daughter's door.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666927)





Date: September 20th, 2007 1:21 PM
Author: irradiated pea-brained boltzmann native

BAM!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666939)





Date: September 20th, 2007 1:24 PM
Author: Self-centered walnut bawdyhouse

181

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666949)





Date: September 20th, 2007 1:25 PM
Author: ruby meetinghouse friendly grandma

I'd bring a rape kit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8666952)





Date: September 20th, 2007 2:38 PM
Author: trip violent orchestra pit

What kind of car would you drive? An armored 1988 Astrovan?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8667173)





Date: September 20th, 2007 2:41 PM
Author: stirring aggressive center kitty

Why armored? Most people would probably applaud his actions, not try to stop him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8667183)





Date: September 20th, 2007 2:43 PM
Author: trip violent orchestra pit

so why would he require the SWAT gear?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8667185)





Date: September 20th, 2007 2:44 PM
Author: stirring aggressive center kitty

To prevent her from gouging his eyes and whatnot, I assumed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8667189)





Date: September 20th, 2007 2:46 PM
Author: wild set son of senegal

Don't forget this, "Level III armor along the crotch, along with a ballguard that protects from kicking or grabbing attempts"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8667194)





Date: September 20th, 2007 2:48 PM
Author: stirring aggressive center kitty

I thought it would have been funnier if he had said "codpiece" instead of "ballguard."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8667203)





Date: November 7th, 2007 4:01 PM
Author: Bright Boyish Temple Goyim

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHWS0H2JqSU

give it to about 16 seconds in.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8865654)





Date: November 15th, 2007 3:15 PM
Author: Self-centered walnut bawdyhouse

LULZ

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8898792)





Date: November 21st, 2007 10:36 AM
Author: Self-centered walnut bawdyhouse

Double LULZ

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8921581)





Date: November 21st, 2007 10:41 AM
Author: Copper Feces

If American troops in Iraq wore the getup described above, fewer of them would be dead today. They'd be walking fortresses.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#8921585)





Date: February 26th, 2008 12:07 PM
Author: stirring aggressive center kitty

Why gear up? Most women want it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#9390116)





Date: February 26th, 2008 12:07 PM
Author: comical ruddy french chef

In the usual course of things, the man will resist entry. His masculine pride on the line, he doesn't want to be placed in a feminine role. However, properly applied force will change his belief system. First, ensure that your cock is rock hard. Second, apply ample lube both on his ass crack and at least one inch inside his anal cavity. A rigid finger can easily overcome any resistance created by his clenching. Now comes the challenging part, when your cock, by the sheer strength of its hardness, has to overcome his strenuously rigid anal muscles. Have no doubt, he firmly believes that he will be able to resist you with this method. But he won't. Simply place your amply lubed black cock square on the entrance of his hole. This is no easy task as you need to verify the hole's location in situations where his ass crack is hairy. Once properly situated, punch him with all your force in the back of the head. Wait a few seconds for his stress/shock induced clenching to cease and start pushing. You should be able to pop the head in. At this point he will be screaming in pain, and you should remind him that continued resistance will only cause permanent injury to his anal cavity. Continuing to adequate lubricate your phallus, push in slowly on your way to lovemaking.

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=773817&mc=38&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#9390119)





Date: February 28th, 2008 10:09 AM
Author: twinkling cheese-eating codepig theatre

cock pushups?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#9400287)





Date: February 28th, 2008 10:10 AM
Author: supple doobsian parlor

good bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#9400292)





Date: March 17th, 2008 11:27 PM
Author: supple doobsian parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#9492142)





Date: March 17th, 2008 11:29 PM
Author: cerise stage

please post at

www.iblamethepatriarchy.com



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#9492160)





Date: March 17th, 2008 11:45 PM
Author: razzmatazz mahogany property

i've read this thread before, and i STILL spit out my drink laughing when i saw it again today. i think it's the "a'rapin" part, you can imagine petro whistling while he pulls on his black gloves and mask

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#9492229)





Date: June 9th, 2008 6:45 PM
Author: bearded casino faggot firefighter

Saw Iron Man recently and thought of this thread when he first constructs the armor in the desert.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#9874101)





Date: September 30th, 2008 1:35 PM
Author: floppy senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#10214454)





Date: November 12th, 2008 1:23 PM
Author: twinkling cheese-eating codepig theatre



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=634889&forum_id=2#10354924)